Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Interview with a MILF from MILF Manor (w/ Crystal)

Episode Date: May 24, 2024

This season, MILF Manor takes a wild turn as MILFs date young men and their fathers at the same time. Nicole sits down with MILF and celebrity makeup artist Crystal Jennings to discuss how she got cast on MILF Manor, her preference for dating younger men versus their fathers, and to answer all of Nicole's burning questions about the show. Plus, she shares her expert sex tips for giving 'pornstar head.' 

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Oh baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast where me and Nicole Byer has been trying to figure out why I'm still single, even though you could bring me to the Florida Keys and say, hey bitch, you gotta swim back to shore. My guest today is a makeup artist and a MILF.

She is one of the stars from the hit reality show MILF MANNOR! This season she's navigating the wild twist of dating both younger men and their dads at the same time. I watched all of season 1, I just started season 2, and I'm so excited to talk to Crystal Jennings! Hi hi hi hi hi, hi, hi. How are you? I'm doing great. How are you?

I'm good. I'm thriving. It's a lovely day in LA. Where do you live? You live in North Carolina? Yeah, I'm in Charlotte. Oh, okay. That's not where you grew up, though, right? No, I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri. Okay. How... Okay, so did you watch the first season of Milk Manor and you were like, I gotta get on this show.

No, it's funny, I didn't. I didn't know anything about it. Uh, because I'm not a reality show watcher. I used to watch like, um, Atlanta Housewives, Love and Hip Hop, but that was way back when New York was on it. Okay. So the way that they found me,

there's a page called Favlie Ageless, and I had put it on a Facebook version of it, because it's on Facebook and it's on Instagram. I put a picture up there, just a regular picture, and they reached out to me that way. Some producer found it and was like, hey, I think you'll be a great fit. And I was like, is this real?

You know? Damn! You know, and then stuff started getting real after that because I started getting all of these emails about what I had to do. And I was like, yeah, this is real. So what was it like when you met all the other women? Were you initially like, I'm not feeling a lot of you

or you're like, oh, we're gonna be friends. Well, I didn't know what to expect when I walked in the house because everything was a surprise to me. I was told it was gonna be this, but then it was bad. And I was like, oh Lord, what am I into? it's gonna be this, but then it was bad. And I was like, oh Lord, what am I into? You know, and, but when I met the women out on the deck,

I thought they were beautiful. I thought they were nice. They were like very welcoming, you know? Oh, and they were just really, really sweet. Okay. And then the gentlemen, were you like, so had you dated, you might've covered this on the show. I'm only on the first episode.

So are you a person who dates younger, your age, what do you date? I usually date my age, maybe a little younger, a little older, but nothing more like more than 60 years. Okay. But I have dated guys that have been way younger than me before. But it was just for play.

I was just playing around and feeling myself, you know, but nothing serious. I would say back when I was 30, because I'm 48 now, I did date a 21 year old man and we were almost near marriage because we were very serious. We lived together for about three years and it didn't work out cause he wanted kids and I already had kids and I didn't want any more kids. So we kind of went separate ways.

That makes sense. Cause it's like, it is a younger guy. It's like, he might want kids and he's like, I've already been there, done that. No, thank you. Right, right. So there was like a, you know, like a, I would say about like a nine year difference.

And it was, it was a little bit overwhelming sometimes because he dressed differently. You know, I'm more conservative. He was more urban. He liked to make beats. He had a little rap group going on, you know? And I'm just like old school. A little rap group.

You know, overall he was mature. I think that's what attracted to me, he was mature. And I think that when you have a younger man that is dating an older woman, and they feel like they have to really bring it, because they're trying to impress you. They already know that you don't have to be with them, you could be with someone older. So they feel like, yeah, you know, I got this fine woman and she's older and, you know, I gotta really, you know, show her I'm responsible. So he was paying bills, he was bringing a check home,

he was doing it all, you know. Okay, that's nice. And the sex was good, the sex was good too. Okay, okay, that's important, gotta have the stamina. And yes, he had that. So on the first season, the's important, gotta have the stamina. Yeah, yes, he had that. So on the first season, the twist was, it was their own sons. How do you think you would fare with that?

It was wild, because like I said, I had never saw the show. And when I heard about it, I was like, what? You know, and that would have been weird for me. I don't think I would have been able to do that. Sarah, but the twist this season is also very fun. It's younger men and then their fathers also competing. How did you feel when that was revealed

at the end of episode one? I was so happy. I was ecstatic because I didn't know. I didn't know. Like I said, you know, everything was so happy. I was ecstatic because I didn't know. I didn't know. Like I said, you know, everything was a secret. So when I got there, I was thinking like, oh, it's gonna be just a dating show. We might have some eliminations.

There's gonna be some competitions. Like what you normally see. And then it was like, okay, welcome to Mills Manor. And I'm like, what? And then I see that these guys get off the boat and they're younger than my kids. Like my oldest son is 33. So these guys were like 21, 23, 25. And I'm like, oh no, I gotta be on here for three weeks.

Well, with this. So I really wasn't, I really wasn't. You were feeling it. I wasn't feeling it. I, no, I was just whining. Sarah, I get that. That is kind of wild to be like, this man is younger than my son. If I bring this man home,

this man is just as a different reference point for everything with my kids and me. Yeah, and that's the thing about it, is that when I raised three sons, you know, and I already know what to, what we go through, you know, they already are a little bit less mature than women, you know, by self-mature, the meters mentally.

And I've raised my kids, I raised, you know, boys to be men. And so I'm like, I would be starting all over trying to date this man. It's like 21 or 25, I just wasn't having it. No, I get it. Also, when you said boys to men, all I could think of was, I'll make love to you like you want me to.

Right. I'm gonna make love to you like you want me to. Right. Did you think the, do you think like the younger guys behavior changed when their fathers got there? Do you think they like, like matured a little bit or started showboating or how do you think they've, they changed? It was a combination of all that, you know, some of them were embarrassed. They were like, oh my God, I got a daddy, you know,

a woman in front of my father. I've got to compete with my father. And then some of the guys were, you know, competitive. Like, you know, I'm the one that she's gonna choose cause I'm younger and I got stronger back and you're older. So you had a combination of all the different types of feelings, yeah.

What was it like trying to date on camera? Was that like an adjustment? Did you ever find yourself just staring into the lens of the camera? No, I got used to it after a while because there were cameras everywhere. Like we had cameras everywhere except the bathrooms. Okay.

There was a camera on me in the bedroom as I slept. There were, it was hundreds of camera guys out there, drones, everything. After maybe like the first couple of days, I think you just getting used to it. You just get used to it. And I'm so real and organic. It's like, okay, it is what it is.

I'm just gonna be my normal self, you know? So I didn't feel like I had to put on front of the camera. I was just being normal. But did you feel awkward at all? Like if you were talking to somebody and you were like feeling them or whatever, and then you're like, oh yeah, there's a camera on me and it's going to be broadcast later that I'm like kissing somebody. No, I didn't feel awkward. I didn't feel awkward at all.

OK, I like that. I think that's that's really incredible. I feel like a lot of other people would just have, you know, a different reaction being like, oh, I, cause I host this like baking competition show and sometimes the cameras would be on them. And I'd be like, you have to talk. I'm asking you a question. Like I know there's cameras and I know you're a little nervous

but like you gotta, you gotta do it. Isn't they with the game? Well, you know, in my past professions, I did public speaking. so you're nervous at first, but then you warm up to it and then it's easy for you. But without giving away too much, I wasn't really worried about it because I knew what I was doing. Okay.

I already had planned that I wasn't going to do anything that I was going to regret later, you know? And so with what you've seen on the episodes, especially episode two, the bar scene, that was genuine, that was me. I'm a very chill person, but if you push my level, I'm gonna take it. That's where you got into a fight with Barbie, right?

Yes, yes. Okay, are you friends with any of the MILFs after this or no? I'm friends with everybody except you. Okay, I think I know. Also, the first challenge is pretty wild. You had to scrape, like pour maple syrup on the bodies of these gentlemen and then scrape it off to fill a jar.

Did you have a strategy going in or were you like, I don't know, I'll just do this? No, we just did it. I think the other couples had strategies because I heard some stuff, you know, I asked people for doing it, No, we just did it. I think the other couples had strategies because I heard some stuff, you know, asking people for doing it. But me and Chris, we were a great team together.

We, I thought we barely won, but we had like a itch more than one of the other couples. So yeah, but we just did what we could do and just went as fast as we could and we won. That's so funny. That's like, how do you prep for something like that? Like if someone was like, all right, scrape a syrup

off someone, I'd be like, what? That's something I've never fucking done. I have no idea how I'm supposed to do that. Right, I mean, the challenge was like, you know, when they said we had to do this, I was like, you got to be kidding me. Like, are you serious? You know, I'm already out here in a bathing suit

and then I got out, you know, and then I was prompted to lick them. Oh, uh-huh. And I was like, you really want me to do that? Okay, so you asked me to do something, I'm uh-huh. And I was like, you really want me to do that? Okay, so you asked me to do something, I'ma do it. And I did it. I did it.

And it was crazy because they put that part as the thumbnail on the TOCD Instagram page. Of course they did. Yeah, you saw this long tongue on his, yeah. I was like, make me do like, I'm the nasty one. You know what I'm saying... Make me do like, I'm the nasty one, you know, so. I, that's so fun. Did you have fun?

Wait, where was it filmed? We were in Toronto, Canada. Okay. And in this beautiful mansion on the lake. We were in the backyard. A lot of our challenges took place out there. So yeah, it was nice. It's different than season one was like a resort in Mexico or something.

Do you feel like you would have had more fun at like a resort or like something tropical? I think so. I think it probably would have been wilder. Just because of the setting. I wish it would have been in Mexico, because when I saw the cities in one, it was gorgeous. I'm like, we couldn't get down there. I wanted to go to Allen. But you're thinking about sexy Allen palm trees, all this shit, it's romantic,

and then here you got us in the backyard with a lake. You're thinking more family-oriented bank, you are busking, you're chilling. Yeah, so the setting definitely played a factor. Yeah, maybe they were trying to go for a more wholesome look, but then also it's like, but you're dating young men and then they're dads. I don't know what's wholesome about that.

You said you were in public speaking. How did you get into that? What kind of public speaking are you into? Well, when I have in public speaking. How did you get into that? And what kind of public speaking are you into? Well, when I have done public speaking, I used to work for different universities. And so I was in finance. And so a lot of times I had to speak to the students about like financial aid and grants and scholarships

and orientations basically. They would come in, you're with the families and that's the most important thing. How much am I paying? What can I get? So I had to speak in front of like a room with maybe 100 or 200 people, but it flows when you know what you're talking about.

If you don't know what you're talking about, then yeah. It's hard. Then it's a little hard because you're just floundering and you're like, I don't, this, this. So you were a celebrity makeup artist. Do you still do that or no? Yeah, that's what I do full time. Ooh, that's exciting.

Who's the most fun person to do makeup for? Well, I was Fantasia's makeup artist up until the last time she had her last daughter. Mm-hmm. Because she lives here. I would say the one I had the most fun with and who was the sweetest was Tiny, T.I.'s wife.

Oh, that's, I love that. Yeah, I've done Tamar Braxton. Okay. She, yeah, she was cool. She was cool, but Tiny was the coolest. What do her eyes look like close up? Cause she had them changed to gray. They're gray.

That's wild. That's so wild. They kind of give you, they kind of give you like husky, husky dog, ice blue. God, that's so fun. So did you go into Milk Manor with the thought, I'm gonna walk out of here with a partner, or did you think, I'm just gonna go in

and have a little bit of fun? I knew I was gonna go in and have a little fun, cause I'm very adventurous. I'm a Leo, so if you know anything about Leos, we just do whatever we wanna do, and we're very adventurous, and we're very spontaneous. So I knew I was gonna have fun, but the part about me thinking

that I was going to leave with someone, I didn't feel like that. I felt like I was in hopes that I could. You know, cause I was, you know, single and not having very much luck in dating. And I don't think a lot of us women are having luck. Cause I get dry out here. Man, it is a drought. So, you know, by me doing makeup for different women

they sit in my chair. And of course I'm the therapist, you know, by me doing makeup for different women, they sit in my chair. And of course I'm the therapist, you know, quote unquote. Everybody's having bad luck. And I was one of those people, you know, you really can't meet them out in public anymore. Men are not even approaching, you know. You go out to a bar or a club, you got a gang of men over here, a gang of women over there, nobody fangling,

buying drinks, dancing. And I come from the era where the 90s, you know, when I was younger, we danced. And we into me. You come from the freak-nick era, where you all said, let's go to one location and have a nice time. Yeah, you know, I come from that era,

and that me and were approaching women at that point, but now something's changed. And so I thought, well, I've tried this and I've tried that, I've tried online. This is definitely a different way to do it. So why not? And you know, if I do who I do, if I don't, I don't. Mm-hmm.

So you've tried apps? I have in the past, yeah. Which apps were you on? Girl, back in the early 2000s, it was Black People Meet. Don't you remember that? Okay, I do. And I also remember Black Planet. Do you remember that?

I remember Black Planet, but I wasn't on there. I think I checked it out, but it really wasn't doing anything for me. Black People Meet, I was on there for maybe two, three years, you know, and all that was weird. Everybody just had issues. Like, no wonder you on here, because you can't meet a regular person in person. I mean, you just, oh. So Black People Meet, but now me and approach you on Facebook and Instagram, you almost don't have to have the apps anymore, you know,

because they coming in the DMs. See, that's nice. I don't really have nobody in my DMs, which makes me sad. Wait, what was the age range you would put on the apps? Did you go younger or did you just go with your age? I would always say, no, not young, but the youngest I would go would maybe be like 40.

And the oldest I would go would probably would be you probably about 53, 55ish. Uh-huh, no. But you know, you gotta be high if you're gonna be that old, so. Ha ha ha ha ha. Are you gonna be like grand, so. I can't be like, friend daddy. Well kept, preserved if you will.

Did you go out on any dates from anybody you met online? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I went on plenty of dates. But no, look, who's like the, like what's the weirdest date you've been on? Oh girl. Okay, I remember I went on a date with this guy. He was from the Isle of Wings.

I think he was Trinidad. I don't know. We went on a date, everything was okay. And then he went in the bathroom. He went in his, at his house. You know, we stopped at his house and to do something or whatever. And I'm in the living room and he's in the bathroom

taking a long time and I'm like, what the hell is going on? I kind of crap up and I already been there talking to another girl telling her how much he loved her. Oh my God, he couldn't wait? Yeah, he couldn't wait. It was some, I think it was an ex. Uh-huh. And when he came out, if you see me on the show, He couldn't wait? Yeah, he couldn't wait. It was some, I think it was an ex.

And when he came out, if you see me on the show, my face cannot, I cannot hide my facial expressions. And then he was like, what's going on? And so I told him about it. I'm like, I'm here with you. And you know, I hear you telling some girl that you love her. And he got really upset and we got into a heated argument.

He put me out the house. He got upset with you because you heard him saying to somebody else that he loved them while he's on a date with you. And then, and he tried to tell, well, he did. He told me to leave. He told me to leave. And I was like, okay, but you better not put your hands out

because I mean, he was hot. You know? And I had heard about, you know, these little rumors about dating guys from the island, that some of them are crazy. He was crazy. He was crazy. I thought me and him was gonna go toe to toe because he was just, he was ridiculous.

He was just, just mad ridiculous, he was just mad. So I handed him a keycard. That's so scary. That's like just somebody getting that mad about something that they created and then flipping it on you. Yeah, and that's the last time I did that. After that, when I told my mom,

I told my mom about my experience, and she was like, "'Crystal, what I tell you, "'I told you to get off them down.'" And you know, just, you might meet to get off them down, you know. And you know, just meet, you know, you might meet somebody that might kick you, you know. And so, yeah, after that, I let it go. Yeah, that's too wild for me.

I'd be like, oh, I gotta take a little sabbatical. I was taking a little sabbatical from the apps, but I'm back on them. And I'm pretty sure this man is standing me up. I have a date with him today. We were supposed to go out. And then I just have not heard a single thing from him. And I was like, but you kept messaging me.

And when I finally was like, yeah, sure, I'll go see a movie with you today, he just stopped messaging. And I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll go see a movie with you today, he just stopped messaging. And I'm like, what is this? Why are you doing, why even talk to me? You know what, he probably is not who he say he is. Now I will tell you about this experience. Okay.

So, a lot of people meet, I met this, really what I thought was this handsome guy. I mean, girl, she was hot. And we was talking on the phone and I was just like, the voice don't match the face. You know, it just didn't match the face. And even my kids, my sons at the time, they were teenagers and you know,

they think everything is a joke. They was like, you know, he don't sound like he looked. So, you know, we kept planning to go on a date and everything and every time we got ready to go, like, it was like, okay, I'll see you next week type thing. He would block me off of the page and would block my phone number. He did that twice. And then the last time he ended up admitting

that he was not who he said he was, and I was so pissed off. This was like my first catfish experience ever. I was like, well, send me a picture of what you really look like. Girl, you can send me a picture that looked like he took it in the eighties. I was like, no, I need a picture of the woman

you look like right now. And he wouldn't do with it. And it was just, he said he felt bad about it and he tried to give me some sad side story of why he couldn't, he didn't have any good luck with dating and this is why he chose to, you know, that route. I'm like, well, where did you get this dude pictures?

Cause I don't have to do this. He went tell me where he got the pictures from. I'm like, I want the man in the pictures. So yeah, that was weird. So what your experiences is, if he keeps, you know, doing what he's doing, standing you up, he might not be who he say he is. And have you guys FaceTimed or anything like that?

No, I don't ever FaceTime anyone before going out with him. I talk to them, we make a date and I meet them there. Which, you know, you say it, did you FaceTime before? That's probably a good idea. You need to, you need to, because you at least should know what you're getting, because you don't want to end up meeting somebody and they're like, they say they are or they're a hundred pounds heavier. I'm serious because they do it all the time.

And so when you ask the FaceTime them, if they refuse, that's your red flag. I remember I had one guy, we did the FaceTime once time and all I could see was his legs. He would not let me see his head. That's so wild. Right. And I'm like, lift up the camera. Uh-huh. He's like, oh, you know, cause he,

I mean, he had so many excuses. And I was like, this dude, he's not who he say he is. So pay attention. That's so wild to be like, okay, I mean, he had so many excuses. And I was like, this dude, he's not who he say he is. So pay attention. That's so wild to be like, okay, I'll FaceTime you, but you can't see my face. The literal word is FaceTime.

I want to see your face. Yeah, the world would be dark. And all I could see was him sitting in a chair with his legs up to here. I couldn't not, yeah. So that's scary. So no. Have you ever had friends set you up?

It's been a while. Back in the day when I was younger, like in my teens, in my twenties, we would do the blind thing. I got a friend. Mm-hmm. I think one of my girlfriends, she's a successful real estate agent here. I got a friend. I think one of my girlfriends,

she's a successful real estate agent here. I think one of the last guys that I dated or whatever, I think he was a client of hers and I saw him on her page after she sold him this huge house. I was like, who's that? And me and him, we had a little thing going on. We met through her, but I haven't had it to where girlfriends are saying, you know,

I know this wonderful guy, this great guy. I think y'all be good together. Let me hook it up. And I'm kind of scared of those too, because I know I'll get somewhere and if there is not a connection, once again, my face, yeah, you come back. When you're on a first date, are you like,

how do you let somebody down that you don't feel? You're like, do you just tell them or do you think they like, they know? I don't tell them because I'm not into the hurting people, spilling business. So do you just ghost people? I really kind of remain friends with them. You know, I kind of like, the communication goes down.

I'm not calling as much. I'm not available as much. But every once in a while they'll text. You know, sometimes they'll text more than they talk. And it's like, good morning, how you doing? I'm like, good morning, how you doing? I'm like, good morning, how you doing? Hope you're having a nice day. I try to get rid of them that way.

And then after a while and they say, she's not going, she ain't by the bed. They'll fall off. Yeah. Okay. Real quick, we gotta take a break. ["Sweet Homework"] We gotta take a break. When did you start dating? I feel like you're good at dating.

Did you start young? Are you a early bloomer or a late bloomer? I'm a very early bloomer. Because I had my first child at 15. I got pregnant at 14. So yeah, I've got a lot of experience. What was it like being pregnant at 14 and then being a mom at 15?

I feel like I'm almost 40 and I'm like, I don't even know how I take care of another thing. Well, that baby is 33 and he lives in Europe right now. So he's very successful. So I feel like I did a good job. It was not as hard as it would have been how people say, you know, for teenage pregnancy situations. Cause I had a very supportive family.

You know, that was, that's when you had your big mama and you had your auntie and you got the grandma and my mom. You know, I had a very supportive family. So I was still having fun and doing what I wanted to do and going out where I wanted to go. Because my family would be like, I'll keep them. You know, if you want to go out of town, I'll keep them. You know, if you wanna go out of town, I'll keep them. You wanna go to college and get your degree and you don't have a babysitter, I will watch them while you're in school

and while you're at work. So I didn't have those issues because, you know, I grew up pretty rough and my mom was a single mother. And so a lot of my summers are at the age of like 11 and 12, I was, her babysitter, she went to work and she was on the bus line. So my summers, I was not in summer camp and I wasn't outside playing with the other little kids. I was in the house changing diapers and making milk and formula for a baby

at the age of 11 and 12. So when mine came along, I already knew what to do. Fair, I mean, that makes sense. I was the youngest, so like I didn't have to do any of that. And then I just, I was a nanny for a while and I was like, oh no. And I know it's other people's kids, but I was like, I don't think this is for me.

I can't do that. But did having a kid make dating harder at all? No. No. No, it didn't. I didn't have any issues. I never had a guy who was like, she got kids. And no, I think I came across that as a grown woman

one time when I had all my three boys, and I was dating a guy who had never been married, never had children. And he told me, he was like, well, my ideal person that I want to be with is someone that doesn't have those things because I want to experience those first time, you know, births and marriages, whatever,

you know, marriage with a woman and not with someone that already has all that going on. And my son, he overheard it. And one of my sons did and he got really offended and he called the guy. He's like, excuse me. You know, he was like, you know, you have to talk to my mama that way.

Cause he felt like, okay, if he's rejecting you, he's rejecting us. And so he took that to heart. So I probably would have too. I would have been like, this is fucking rude. How dare you go out with her so many times and then say that you don't want it? But at the end of the day, I had to tell my son, you know, you still a child, be respectful, you should have did it.

I get why you did it, but you don't disrespect grown people, you know, so. Do you tell people on the first date that you have kids or do you wait? The first, well, usually the first date, but sometimes now with the way it is now, I kind of just wait a little bit because I don't want to get all into my intimate details. You know what I'm saying?

Because if you know, I had a son that was murdered three years ago. And so when I start to say that I have three children and one is deceased, now I got to start getting into the intimate details about what happened to him and the relationship that we had. And I don't feel like everybody is worthy of my story because I'm trying to still feel you out for like, what are you here for for me?

Are you here, are you genuine or are you organic? Are you looking for just a good time or rolling through hate? And everybody, you know, don't deserve to know all of these intimate details about your life if they're not trying to be serious with you. So I have to gauge where we are and what you want, and then I'll let you know. That makes sense.

I tell people all my business all the time. Ha ha ha ha. Oopsies. Yeah, you gotta stop that. You gotta stop that. I know. I just love talking so much. I know.

I know. And I used to do it too. I used to write it all the way down about my father, my mother, my past, and things I'd have been through and who didn't hurt me and what ex-boyfriend it was this mother, and my past, and things I'd have been through, and who didn't hurt me, and what ex-boyfriend was this, and I mean, I used to just tell it all, not all in one day, but you know, just in a short period of time, and my little sister, she was just like, you're doing too much, because you kind of give that person an idea of you're the vulnerable spots. And some people will play on that.

You know what I'm saying? They'll play on it. They'll be like, you know what? She been through a lot. She been through some trauma. She's vulnerable. She's gullible. Probably wouldn't be too hard to get some ass from her.

You see what I'm saying? I'm serious. They do it all the time. They do. But here's the thing, I am easy. You can have whatever you want. I'll suck your dick on the first date. Yeah.

I'll waste no time. Yeah, don't stop today. I know, I know. Okay, here's a question. How do you, when do you decide that you want something more from a person? Like, how long do you date before you're like, okay, I'd like to be exclusive, and do you wait for them to say something,

or do you say something? At this age, it's either... It's either shit or get out of the pot. I don't have time to play around. I'm almost 50 years old. I'm almost a half a century old. You know, in 24 years, I'll be 70. We all know 20 years go by like, you know, it does.

So at this point, I'm dating with a purpose and I wanna be exclusive with someone. Cause I feel like in this day and age dating this guy, this guy is dangerous out here. These guys are carrying diseases. They are doing all type of freaky stuff, you know, whatever. And I just would like to be exclusive with one person. I'm a very little bit of person. So if my eyes is set on you, I'm with you the whole time. I'm riding for little bit of person. So if my eyes are set on you, I'm witched you the whole time.

I'm riding for you the whole time. I don't know how people date multiple people at once. I'm like, don't you get confused and don't you... Like, I would just find myself repeating things and be like, I forgot I told this one this and this one the other thing. I just, it's so hard. Do you ever date multiple people at once?

Um, maybe a couple. You know, because you do kind of want to see, like, which one is worthy. Uh, you know, don't put all your eggs in one basket, you know, but see, my problem is to see that eventually both of them gonna want something. Mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying?

Oh, yeah. Somebody may be getting something, but the other one-hmm. You know what I'm saying? Oh yeah. Somebody may be getting something, but the other one ain't. You know what I'm saying? But I have to gauge it. I have to gauge and see like which one is worth it. Mm-hmm.

But I just can't go, I can't fluctuate from one to the other and back and forth and back and forth. It's just not me. I feel like a hoe. I, no. I like feeling like a hoe. I'm like, mm, I'm really a hoe. No. I like feeling like a hoe. I'm like, I'm really doing something.

That was back in the day with me. That was back in the day, I ain't here. But now I'm like, I'm like. You're like, time is a ticket. You were married before. How long did you date before you got married? Not long, that fool was telling love. So we started dating in the month of August,

I'll never forget. And he proposed in December 31st. Oh my God. That's wild, that's so quick. Yeah, and we were engaged for less than a year. And we out married, and we only stayed married for two years. I mean, two years is a good run. Do you think you learned from that relationship

or are you like, fuck that? I did, and I wanna get married again. I loved Biddy and the wife, I did. I liked the whole aspect of the family values and the trips that we took with the kids. And I could be in the kitchen cooking and he outside cutting the grass. There's nothing better than that to me, than to be out here in this dating world.

I love, I mean, I come from that type of environment, being raised by my great grandparents, but not just my mom, but from my early childhood, it was my great grandparents. And they were born in 1914. So they lived until I was like 21. So just seeing that whole Southern grandma, grandpa together and they just kept the family together,

that's what I like. Even though I try to take the negative, I'm going to go with the positive out of the negative. So yeah, he wasn't good in some aspects, but there was some positive things that came out of it. And it really was like stepping stones to get me to the level that I am today. So put in my life for a purpose of a reason in a season, God used him. So God put him in my, in my life for a purpose, a reason, and a season. God used him. So God put him in my life for a reason and a season

and he served his purpose and he's gone. Okay. Real quick, we gotta take a break. Okay, Crystal. Yes. How do you deal with, okay, so when you got married and or when you've lived with people, do you move into their place or do they move into your place or do you get a place together? In the past, it has been me always making a sacrifice. I've done it like three times.

I've moved to Chicago for a man. Oh. I've moved to Detroit for my husband. Mm-hmm. And back in the day, it was from St. Louis to East St. Louis, which was nothing but across the river. Mm-hmm. I've done it three times, and I'm not doing it ever again. Not doing it again?

How do you deal with someone in your house all the time? I've never lived with anybody. So I feel like I would just like wake up and be like, oh my God, you're still here. No, I'm not like that. I love it. I do. If they are a grudiable person and they're a cheerful person and they don't cause any drama, I love it.

I love taking care of someone else. I like to know that I got someone to, we can do foot season and look at movies together and eat popcorn or we can get up and we can go wherever we wanna go. And I like cooking for someone. I don't even cook anymore. The boys are gone and grown.

I don't have a man here. I'm constantly eating out all the time. And it's just because it's me. I had somebody come over here and say, you don't even have any food in the refrigerator. I'm like, I don't. I'm always eating out. So to have someone, you know, in my home

to take care of and be a companion, I would love it. I would. I don't look at them like, what are you doing here? I'm only gonna look at them if they're causing me problems and I'm just like turned off and I'm not, there's a disconnection. That makes sense. Even if someone's not acting up, I'm like,

oh my God, go away so I can be alone. I like being alone. I used to not like it, and now I've really gotten accustomed to, like, having my alone time. It's quiet in the morning and that's nice. Like, just having someone just... Just... I'm like, oh my God, but I do want a partner.

I want one so bad! You gotta get used to that. You gotta find your person. Um... I think that the ideal person for me is someone that has his own thing going on. And he's respectful of my time alone and I'm respectful of his time alone. You know, I know if you like to go out and you like to be with your boys or you want to go in another room and read the book, I know that that's what he likes to do. I don't bother him, you know? And it's the same thing with me,

be respectful of my alone time. Because you're right, at some point, you get tired of looking at each other. You just do, you know? And you got to know, like, when to turn it on and when to turn it off in a respectful manner and to keep the peace. As you got some women who are very clinky

and they're possessive and he can't get in the car and go around the corner to put gas in his car. It's like, where you going? What you doing? Where you at? Da da da da da da. And that's like being a net at a picnic. You know how it's like, I'm somewhere, you know? And that's like a a net at a picnic, you know how it's like, somewhere, you know?

And that's a big turnout for a man, because to me, there's like four or five things that men want, and I'll tell you what that is. First, they want peace of mind, peace from you, basically. They want peace, they want good food, they want daily affirmations or affirmations on a regular and porn star sex. You hear that, me and that.

You good. Do you have any sex tips? Oh, wow. Okay, without being too rashy, I would say always keep it spicy. Do different things. You know, be creative. Don't be that woman that is so like restricted.

Like I don't do this and I don't do that. You know, and if you gon' give some head, don't give no boring head. I mean, her hate some boring head when she do spike fist and she do. You gotta give porn star way that you do. You really do to keep it spicy. If you gonna do it, do it right.

For women, they're just later like a star fist. They don't talk to the man, they're not making you, I don't know, you, I'm very sensual and very sexual when I'm with my man, so yeah, you know, have sex in the car. Ooh. Uh-huh. You know, when was the last time we had sex in the car, when we was teenagers, right? Uh-huh. When was the last time we had sex in the car when we was teenagers, right?

Uh-huh. I'm trying to do that now as a 48-year-old woman, you know? I mean, yeah. Just pull over to a nice, secluded place. The whole idea we being sneaky, that turns you on, you know? So I like that. Yeah, keep it spicy. The best advice I ever got was from Amber Rose.

She was like, when you give head, prop one of your legs up and rub your clit while you do it and stare at them. And anytime I've ever done that, woo wee, is he excited. You know what, I never tried that. It's very good advice. Why is he excited? You know what, I never tried that. I've never tried that. It's very good advice,

because it's like, you're turning me on so much that I have to like pleasure myself, why I pleasure you. And then they like lose their minds. And then she also taught me to like lift the back of your tongue. So it hits the back of your tongue and not your throat. And then you do the gag and you can control like how you gag on them. Yeah, they like to see all that. to the back of your tongue and not your throat. And then you do the gag and you can control

how you gag on them. Yeah, they like to see all that. They do, they use audio and you need to give them visual at the same time. They like to do that. Now, as far as the touching, I will let a man watch me. I will make a man watch me pleasure myself.

And they'd be like, what? But I've never done that while giving head. I've never done that, so I might have to try that one day. But I also like that it's like, yeah, watch me pleasure myself because then you can learn how to do it, take some little notes, and then you can do it, and then it's delightful. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna have to try that one day.

Do you wait to have sex or do you, like, how long do you wait? Maybe... the third or fourth date. Okay. To be honest with you, um... I've been on date... Well, well, I'm lying. Okay.

So my most recent experience is that I spent three days with a man and I told him that I have been celibate and I have been celibate since October of last year. And so we were like around probably in April at this point. And I told him myself, I don't wanna do anything. I just wanna go on a date. You gonna be able to handle that? I'm like, well, I'm coming to be in your city for three days.

He was like, I got it. It's all good. And so we spent three days just exploring the city and we did a whole lot of kissing, but no sex at all. No sex. And he stayed at the hotel with me and he did not. And even when things got kind of hot and steamy and and I felt like I just want to just give it some. Like, no, I'm gonna be a man of my word.

I told him I wasn't gonna do it. And that turned me on. I love that. I love a respectable man. Yeah, because you know how it is. Most men be pulling and tugging and pinching and, and he'd be like, stop, little quick, I'm feeling like it.

Didn't I say stop? I said stop. You know, and I hate that. I hate that. When I tell you no, I mean no. Yes, I mean no, yes. You all know. You'll know.

So, yeah. But the third or fourth date. OK. Before I let you go, do you have any advice for single women? Or single people out there? I probably got plenty. I would say, first of all, take your time. Don't rush, get to know a person.

Get to know a person. I think as women, we make a lot of mistakes because we're so in a rush to have a man and be with somebody because we're lonely. And we give away too much, our bodies, our minds. And we swap the spirits with these guys that we don't know them. So just take your time because those types of things,

they do fester in you. And when it doesn't go your way, you're heartbroken. You ever seen a woman, as soon as they get a man, they post them on Facebook and then they take them down as soon as they post. It's like that's a curse. It's like a curse, it really is. And so just take your time.

It was, it's like a curse, it really is. And so just, just take your time. Uh-huh. I ask all of my guests this, would you date me? Would I date you? Got it. I would give you a try. Oh, thank you. I would give you a try.

I would give you a try just because with your bubbly personality, I would like to get to know you better. Oh, Crystal, thank you so much. Feeling some energy here. I feel some energy. You got a little rough edges. But if I was dating you,

I think I could smooth that all out. I love that. Everyone loves the challenge. Do you have anything that you want to promote? Oh, yeah. I will promote my Instagram page. I am a makeup artist, a celebrity makeup artist, and I also specialize in bridal makeup, and I do my day-to-day one and two,

so my page on Instagram is aboutfacemakeup underscore one. Please follow me, send me a DM, I'll speak back. I try to speak back to everybody. Yeah, I like to promote my makeup page. I'm also gonna be trying to come out with, well, I'm not gonna say trying because my friend doesn't like that. He's like, you gotta be manifested.

I am going to come out with my own makeup brush line. Ooh, I love that. Yeah, I've been working on it. So yeah, it's gonna be one of the first of its type sold in stores. I'm trying to... I am going to get it into Ulta Beauty. Yes, manifest. Thank you so much for being here, Crystal. Also, watch Milk Manor.

It is on Max and it's on TLC. Thank you so much. You're welcome. I had a great time. Oh, thank you. Okay, if you liked that episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you can like, you can rate, you can subscribe, you can leave me five stars on Apple Podcasts. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me

to whywon'tyoudatemepodcasts at gmail.com, I will read it. Okay, how about this? A candlelit dinner. Hi, Nicole. I want to invite you over for a candlelit dinner to my place and ask you questions about yourself. When I ask if you are queer, you will inevitably reply, I'm not queer, I'm just myself. I will stand up, flip the table, and kiss you passionately,

strip you down, bend you over, and stick my bisexual cock inside you while I lean over and whisper in your ear, ha ha ha ha, rejecting labels is the queerest thing you can do. Then we both come psychronious and fall in love with each other in a non-conforming, non-heteronormative way, the end.

That's very funny. Thank you, bye bye. Bye bye. Why Won't You Date Me with Nicole Byer Thank you, bye bye! Bye bye! Maddie Ogden. Got a question? Crazy dating story? Or a dirty message for Nicole? Write it to WhyWon'tYouDateMePodcast at gmail.com for a chance to have it featured on a future show. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Tee-dee-boo-poo-pah-pah-bye. This has been a Team Coco production.