Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Joking Around (w/ Yamaneika Saunders)
Episode Date: September 25, 2020The incredibly funny Yamaneika Saunders (Broad City, Inside Amy Schumer) joins Nicole to discuss comedy, following her mom's love for stand-up, her defense for humor about people with disabilities, an...d the depths of racism in our society. After the break, Yamaneika discusses breaking up in the pandemic, and her plan to freeze her eggs. Trigger Warning: My guest misgenders a person in a retelling of a story and I didn't correct them and I’m sorry to those who listened and were offended. Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co. Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyer Instagram: @nicolebyer Facebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedy Buy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964 Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746
Transcript
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Why won't you date me?
Why won't you date me?
Why won't you date me?
Please tell me why!
Oh baby!
Welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? Oh, baby! Yeah!
Welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me?
It's a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, tries to figure out how I'm still single, even though you could throw me in traffic.
Oh, that's terrible.
My guest today is very fucking funny.
I love her.
You've seen her on Historical Roasts Broad City Inside Amy
Schumer she's got her
own special on Netflix
called The Degenerates she was on the
Tonight Show a bunch it's Yamanika
Saunders
oh my god
whenever I hear Yamanika Saunders
it reminds me that I'm singles cause I still have
my birth name.
That's so funny.
I never thought of it like that.
I'm like, oh, God.
Oh, right.
I'm still doing that.
Uh-huh.
Yep.
One day you'll be Yamanika Thompson.
No.
I'm at the age now where it's like we're not even changing names at this point.
I'm at the age now where it's like,
we're not even changing names at this point.
Yamanika, I truly think you are one of the funniest motherfuckers I have ever seen.
Oh my God, I feel the same about you.
I adore you.
I love you.
You truly can just tell a story.
And it's so funny because I had texted you
or I DM'd you on Instagram after I'd seen this Comedy Central Presents bit where you talk about taking, I think, your dad or your grandfather to the bathroom.
And you were in the ladies room and you were like, some bitch was just like, there's a man in here.
And you were like, who?
Yeah.
And all of that's true down to the gristle.
I wish I could have crafted a joke that was that
hilarious but that's like straight up real life and i have no filter um and neither does my family
so that that shit went down exactly the way that it sounded like it went down it's so funny and
then you watch 90 day fiance and you will sometimes do like do you watch a lot of you're just like
no it's to me it's so
funny because i'm like that's what we're all saying you're literally saying what we're all
thinking yeah i mean listen shout out to the people at tlc who can't you know say the nonsense
because they make money off these people but i'm not under contract to them and they need to take
a good look at their lives and understand they're not doing well and but and they need to take a good look at their lives and understand
they're not doing well and but I also have to take a good look at my life and understand that
I'm watching them not do well which means I'm doing even worse yep sometimes I watch it and
I'm like why are you watching these people be full-blown lunatics it, it, you know, it's, it's so crazy because the world is so,
you know, I grew up in a time where people, you did things appropriately and you were inappropriate
at home. Now the world is just, I can't tell you how many people on YouTube I've listened to.
And I'm like, how the hell did they get a channel? They sound like, um um marbles are in their mouth and cardi b is now the vice
president of the united states of america and also i'm watching 90 day fiance the other way
which is the fourth installment of a franchise of 90 day fiances i you know the world is upside down
why don't go to school don't go to training don't go get nothing nothing just get out of your
mother's uterus walk out of her womb go right into a recording studio you are a professional
this I'm wasting too much time getting trained I sometimes feel that way but I feel like that
gives you longevity like you will always be able to craft a joke because you did the work
you will always be employable because
it's not just a 30 second you know tiktok you made you can be funny for long amounts of time
yeah at on ethel's fail reunion see i can always find somebody somewhere that will appreciate what
i have studied and learned and and learn how execute. But that don't pay the bills.
When did you start doing stand up?
I started doing stand up. It's so funny because I was talking to a friend of mine the other day,
and I've known her for 10 years now. And she had no idea how I got into stand up. And I feel like
I've told the bitch that 1000 times. But I had to los angeles when i was 15 to go to the la
county high school for the arts and study theater and i did that from maryland and so i was study
theater i'm classically trained in the theater all that and my mother because my mother's always
been like a woman of many hats and many talents you know she's like
I want to write a book you know she was a video and audio engineer for a couple of different
television stations around the country she was an on-air disc jockey at a couple of top 40s
she's always doing something and then she's like I'm just gonna do stand-up and I was like okay girl go live your life you know I'm doing my thing and I'm studying and uh my mom got so enamored with stand-up she was like you should
do it and I was like I'm not gonna do that because it's a waste of time and you know at the time I
was taking I was studying commedio dell'arte which is like the different forms and size of
the faces right so you have from the extreme of sorrow
to happiness so i thought i'm like well i'm already doing comedy because i just put on the
other thing you know so it was that kind of thing and then they decided um at my school they
introduced stand-up it was so funny it was almost like i was meant to do stand-up they
introduced stand-up in my high school it was didn't come back the following year it was just there that year that's yeah like that means you were just like meant
to be at that place you were meant to do some stand-up yeah like that's incredible I didn't
want to I was like my mother was like you have to audition I was like no because I was studying I
wanted to go to college for theater management and I wanted to open up a 50 seat theater in
Manhattan so I already had my life planned that I was going to study theater management and have my own theater.
And so I was like, I don't want to do this. So it wasn't aligned with my curriculum to take a
standup class. If I need to be a student directing, I need to be in theater management. I need to be
in all these other production admin related um curriculum
to get into the schools that I wanted to get into and my mom's like if you audition I won't say
anything I just I just want you to audition so you can say you did it and you know whatever and
so I did and I remember I bombed because I you know as I am to this day I have to really put on a comics hat because I can
I'm so detailed in in stories that I tell that it'll take a long time for me to get
you know because I'm giving you like beats throughout the whole story and like I'm giving
you the feel of it so I tell this long joke that my mother would tell about she used to put me to
bed to this I love this was the the monkey and would tell about she used to put me to bed to this
I love this was the the monkey and the family that got killed in a car accident so I wait what
I've been told never to tell it never to tell it Bobby Kelly literally told me he picked up his
podcast we were in Montreal and I was doing the podcast with all the guys on the Nancy show
they picked up the podcast
and left the room they were like
never
I really want to
hear it because I can't believe
that your mother put you to sleep with the monkeys
and the people who died
in the car accident
because that's hilarious I mean not that the people
died
that's part of that's hilarious. I mean, not that the people died.
That's just a part of the ambiance of the story, right?
That they died.
Will you tell it?
Do you mind?
Now, disclaimer, you asked me to tell.
I did.
I did, and I'm really excited about it.
I've never been excited.
Truly, I've never been excited. Like I'm truly this,
I've never been more excited to hear something because I love a joke that needs a preamble.
I love a joke that,
I have a joke where I'm like,
do you want to hear it?
And the crowd goes, yes.
I'm like, you asked for this.
Right, you asked for it.
You're not going to like it.
You asked for it.
I'm asking for it.
I can't.
Okay, okay, okay.
And now it's,
I'm going to try to tell it in a way that the listeners, because it's
really, it's an act out.
It's a whole thing.
Okay.
So there is a family that got into a car crash and everybody died.
The mother, the father, the son, the daughter, but the monkey didn't die, right?
So these two police officers come to the scene of the crime
and they're devastated by the carnage that is at this accident.
And they're trying to piece together what happened
because they got to do a report.
And they're like, oh my God, what are we going to do?
And this monkey is kind of like jumping around,
you know, like trying to get them involved.
And so they're like, go away, monkey.
And the monkey's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
And so finally, one of the cops says, I think this monkey is trying to talk to us.
And so the cop goes, that's ridiculous.
He goes, no, no, no, let me talk to the monkey.
He says, monkey, do you know this family? And so the monkey's like, oh, oh, goes, no, no, no. Let me talk to the monkey. He says, monkey, do you know this family?
And so the monkey's like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
You know, like, it is.
I can feel it going off the rails.
I can feel it now going off the rails.
So he goes, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
He goes, oh, my God.
The monkey, no.
He said, do you know what
happened monkey so he says oh my god this monkey knows what happened so there's other kinds of
well how are we going to talk to him because all he can do is so he goes well let's ask him very
specific questions and get his response positive or negative so he goes uh a monkey do you know what happened right before the accident
to cause the accident he goes so he goes okay monkey what were the what was the mother doing
right before the accident and so the mom the monkey starts to point his fingers like he's
now he goes you know like he's nagging and He goes, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, you know, like he's nagging.
And so he goes, oh, the mother was nagging before the accident, and that father got distracted, and that's how they wound up crashing.
And then the monkey goes, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, like, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, boy, whoa, whoa.
He goes, well, monkey, what were the children doing before the accident?
And so he starts to fight with his arms.
He goes, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
He says, oh, okay.
So monkey, the children were arguing before the accident,
and that's how the father got distracted and everybody got killed.
And the monkey goes, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
So he goes, okay, well, it wasn't the mother.
It wasn't the kids.
He goes, monkey, what was the father doing right
before the accident and so the monkey goes you know like he was drinking right so he starts
the motion to drink it and so the cop goes oh okay so the father was drinking before the accident
and that's how they got killed and the monkey goes oh oh oh oh oh and he says what monkey that wasn't it either
and so they sit there and they scratch their head for hours and they go wow it wasn't the kids
it wasn't the mother nagging and the kids fighting or the father drinking what could have caused the
accident and so finally the cop looks at the monkey it says monkey what were you doing right before the accident and the monkey goes like he was driving
so the monkey caused the accident to be fair i can understand why people would get up and leave
but on the flip side you have to remember that you're a child delighted by this story about a
monkey murdering a family and i think that's why i like it so much it was crickets crickets
i was like i said the monkey was driving this is me in the order the monkey i was like, I said the monkey was driving. This is me in the audience.
The monkey.
I was like, you don't get it.
The monkey was driving the car.
And it was crickets.
And I remember I walked out.
I was furious.
And then I came back in, in the middle of this other kid's audition, because I was so
furious.
I was like, why didn't they laugh?
But my mother used to buy me these suits, right? These little sweatsuits
or different colors, like Crayola colors.
And so I had like an orange one,
I had a red one, a purple one,
a green one, the whole thing.
And that day I happened to be wearing
the red sweatsuit, so I just
ran in the middle of the kid that
was auditioning, I ran in the middle of their set
and I said, hey Kool-Aid, and everybody
started laughing because I interrupted him like the Kool-Aid. And everybody started laughing
because I interrupted him like the Kool-Aid man.
Yep. And that's what kids want, right?
They want something that is quick.
That monkey joke is for my mother
and her girlfriends that play Canasta.
This ain't for, like, young kids.
You know, you gotta...
Because you have to, like, pay attention.
Kids don't want that.
They want you
to interrupt somebody and go right right right right do you do that joke on stage now oh no
hell no i think you can you think so yes i think you phrase it the way you did it's a story that
you heard as a child yeah and when the people don't laugh, you then go,
what's wrong with you?
This was a misdirect.
This was very funny.
I acted like a monkey for you people.
And then, yeah,
I think you just flip it on them to be like,
because that's what I do
when jokes don't work for me.
I flip it on them
and I tell them why they're wrong.
I love that.
I'm going to try it
and I'm going to blame it all on you.
Please, please please first and last
name say nickel byer told me to do this oh yeah i'm gonna put it i'm telling you that you know
what i'm gonna really i'm gonna up the ante because the next special i do i'm gonna do it there
because i'm telling you this joke it's it's my mother to this day. That is one of her favorite jokes.
And I can tell it to her.
We know the end.
It's one of those things where you already know the end, but it's the journey of it.
It's something that, you know, my mother and I shared.
So it occurred to me when I was a child that the family had died.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying like yeah yeah yeah they
gotta die because this joke they have to die for the joke right yes the joke gotta live
they somewhere they ain't dead dead they just dead in the story but they like you know they
coming back also it's like you get to explore why this family allowed the monkey to drive like was the monkey
allowed to drive all the time i don't know i think this joke has legs i it made me laugh really hard
you know what i appreciate that because the amount of people have told me to never tell that joke
again and i mean like i have wasted I got to tell you one more joke.
This is my mother's favorite joke.
Now, this joke everybody in my life.
I'll make this quick.
It's called Everybody Knows Joe.
Okay.
So Joe is kicking it with one of his friends in his friend's neighborhood. And they go to all these bars and everybody go to everybody's like oh hey joe what's up joe how you doing joe and so joe's friend goes
well how come every bar we go to everybody know you and he goes well because i'm joe and everybody
knows me he goes that's not true joe says yeah everybody in the world knows me so they go from
neighborhood to know neighborhood everything the same so joe's friend is perplexed so at the end
of the night he goes you know what I promise you
I know somebody that don't know you
and Joe said okay who is it he said
the Pope don't know you
he said okay I know the Pope he said no the Pope don't know you
so they go to the Vatican the whole thing
and Joe
the way these jokes go
they get so damn elaborate like they wasted
money and they had a $5,000 bet
and they fly to
the vatican somehow they get there without an appointment and um joe said all right i'm going
to peter talk to my boy the pope right and so joe goes up to where the pope is and joe's friends
down in the crowd and he's looking and so the pope brings joe out and goes hey everybody uh i want to
interview i want to meet my friend joe whatever not interview
because everybody knows him but i want y'all to see joe joe's here and so joe joe goes down after
that to get his money from his friend and he realized his friend has passed out on the floor
and so they got to revive him with smelling salts and so when his friends comes to he goes what
happened you passed out because i know the Pope and the Pope knows me.
He goes, no, I passed out because a man next to me tapped me on the shoulder and said, who's the guy in the pointy hat with Joe?
Sometimes the joke is really, you know, it's like you've got to have the patience.
It's dumb.
It's like the payoff.
Some people can't make it through the payoff
because you start to go, oh God, what's going on here?
But then the payoff is like,
but you gotta be that type of like,
that's more like a dad joke kind of thing
or, you know, an older person joke
where they really, they sit there.
They want their joke to be theater.
You know, like they want, it's not just,
don't just hit me with something
bring me let me have an experience you know like the Beyonce experience oh boy I love Beyonce I
can't remember who it was but it was oh god it was an actress who was in this movie called Late Night. Who was in that?
It was, oh, Emma Thompson.
I think it was Emma Thompson.
She said on a late night show, she was like, comedy, men, they just want to get it done.
They go real fast and real hard and they tell the joke.
Women like it slow.
And there's a payoff at the end.
Yes.
And I mean, she was also making a joke about how men come fast and women, you know need a little bit more time but i was like she's not wrong no i like a story i love
when people tell me a story and how every twist and turn is funny yeah or like like every line
you say is so funny like i'll talk about this because i loved your degenerate set i watched
that but this comedy central set that you did i think it was a seven minute set or an eight minute set but like by the end the audience was
like tuckered out because they were every line you said was so funny i watch it i want it's 16
minutes okay 16 but it feels like it's going because i watch I'm like wow I'm like 16 minutes it really is you know what
it was you get to the point in your you know people don't understand like you you could you
you work on a set you work on an act right and then you know after I did my comedy central presents
all that stuff was gone so then I start I'm in a different phase like I'm really looking at my life
and how I'm living where I'm living what I'm doing so that I can tell the story of who I am now
right so now I've lived these I've felt these things I've you know I held on to that presents
for many many many years probably longer than I needed to because there's a point in time when
you're trying to get on for somebody to give you something like a special so that you can put something out. This one was a lot closer
in span, right? Because now I'm looking at myself now and I'm delivering you these jokes as who I
am now. I'm not calling back to moments of who I was. I'm in it it so everything is immediate for me right now the angst the frustration the
confusion the anger the disappointment the hilarity is all right now so that's why I felt like it was
moving forward and I like seeing comics in the moment of where they are doing their sets in that
moment because and I think a lot of people get robbed from that just because the business is so slow sometimes to pick up on people yeah and then it's just like oh well
your funniest stuff went out on your album and you feel like your album is done but then it's like
well do you drag out what you put out on your album to put in a special when you're not that
person anymore right but the material is still there it's yeah being a comic is very it's hard
oh yeah it is it's really hard because you comic is very, it's hard. Oh yeah. It is. It's really hard because
you know, first of all, it's your opinions, right. And what you feel. And we're just trying to find
people that can connect to our opinions and what we feel a lot of times, because there's so many
different opinions out there, you may find people in your audience that don't connect, don't get it,
don't understand. And so that's where
sometimes the imbalance comes in. And even more so now that we have a world where, like for, I was,
I did a show in Vermont. I had, it was, I forget the name, was it Vermont Comedy Club? I love the
place. They top, top of the line, professional people, sweet people. I mean, they took care of me like I've never been taken care of I love them
I had a set there and I was talking about um peanut allergies right and kids because like now
I'm the the whole bit is like I'm older now and because I'm focused so much on stand-up I'm going
to be an old mom right if I'm going to be a old mom, right? If I'm going to be a mom, I'm going to be an old mom.
So there's a generation gap when there normally isn't a generation gap
between kids and their parents.
There's going to be almost a two-generation gap between me and my kid
and if I have one.
And then also, I got to remember that I grew up in the 80s,
which was like a war zone.
You know, like there was no seatbelts.
What is that cigarettes
keep them you know like you was keeping your parents cigarette going you was going you was
doing all kinds of shit you was hiking you was a latchkey kid you was putting keys around your
neck to your house while pedophiles was lurking around like sharks i mean like you know the 80s
was like if you made it i always said if you made it through the 80s you lived through the hunger
games i mean that's what it was you know it was a cornucopia on every corner and so when you when you talk about where
i've come from and the way we didn't have these sensibilities now that they have now with children
which i don't hate it's just like i just didn't grow up like that and i'm trying to if i'm going
to try to relate to my kid and not be like this warrior like my my family they act like i was
g.i. jane or some shit you know what i'm saying like everything was all right be tall just stop
you know and now everybody is everybody's like oh my baby my oh i can't i can't i love my you
know what i'm just like you know i had love but we had love constructive love not love to like
handicap you not to be able to. So I was talking to him.
I said, you know, but the thing is, I said, this peanut allergy shit, I get it.
People got peanut allergies.
But I'll tell you, a lot of this is in the mind because when I was a kid,
didn't nobody had no peanut allergies.
And if they did, we just let them die because peanuts is everywhere.
You know, we can't.
We ain't got time to be putting an EpiPen in your neck every five seconds.
You're going to have to die.
So there's a woman in the crowd, and she goes,
I said, excuse me, what's going on?
She says, my daughter has
a peanut allergy,
and I don't appreciate the joke
in my daughter. I said, well, first of all,
fuck you and fuck your daughter, right?
More so, fuck you, because your daughter
ain't got the, you know, you the one that gave her
a peanut allergy, because she came tumbling out of your damn uterus with all kinds of damn restrictions.
So if you thought that I created this joke to be insensitive, like some people have to, you have to give a grain of salt and pepper to what people are saying.
There is an idea.
There is a communication of the idea.
There is also, you have to understand, people have the bandwidth to say something and then still be
able to discern with common sense what the real reality is i think a lot of times people put way
too much pressure on comedy to be some type of mouthpiece for the truth when it's like the
heightened version of a thought of the truth but it's not in totality the whole truth yeah like this woman being so upset that
you said that people peed on her just let him die like you don't think that no it's not like
you went to congress to lobby to take away epi pens it's it's fully just a joke from where you
were to where you are now and it's so funny that this i feel like everybody takes
things personally where they're like this is it feels like it's about me so that means that
comedian is making a joke about me yeah and it's because they feel guilty wild and it's like this
it's because you know right now black people are having a hard time and we have had a hard time in
this country you're being murdered all types of different races crazy from the cops to us to all kinds of shit going on anybody at this point in time that wants to jump
in on the narrative of black people suffering and going but what about me is like a tone deaf right
like yeah we just we suffering the most so there's no reason for anybody to be trying to jump in on
that going well i don't like that white people are being offended
because we girl please but it's the same thing when people hear a joke and they go like i had
a woman who was a friend of mine i didn't know she was a fan of mine i'm sorry i didn't i didn't
know you never said nothing to me so she saw me do something this week at the cellar we was talking
about i i was watching a documentary with this guy who had down syndrome i thought he was cute uh i said when they got i said now am i so i was doing it with chloe hilliard so chloe's like
well i don't know if you can say downs i said yeah you can say downs they got down she goes no
dad i said well don't worry about it because by the time i get finished with him it's gonna be ups
so now the woman goes i don't know about you sexualizing people with down syndrome I don't know if I like that she's
a she's a feeling and I said listen if you know me then you know where I go you know I don't mean
any malintent but I'm going to tell you exactly what I'm what's on my mind whether you like it
or not right and if you don't like it you can leave so then she goes well I don't know so she
shares it on her page she tags me on all these people with children with Down syndrome. So I said, listen, I said, what's the problem here?
Is the problem that you don't want to consider the fact that your son can have sex?
Because people who have Down syndrome, they work, they get married, they do all kinds of shit.
I have an aunt who's got special needs.
She had all the desires of wanting to do and be a part.
Like they don't stop wanting to do shit like that and they can have the compare my aunt is more severe so
she's never been able to live on her own but she's always wanted to be married so and we're supposed
to act like she doesn't have these type of desires i said so is that the problem that i'm sexualizing
your son and you don't want to ever sexualize him? Or are you considering the fact that one day I might meet your son and fuck your son?
Because it's one or the other.
And both are true, right?
Because I might meet your son and fuck your son.
Don't tell me, because you're so busy having people play.
I understand.
I have an aunt.
First of all, she doesn't even understand.
I grew up with an aunt. We all she doesn't understand i i grew up
with the aunt we almost like sisters because my aunt has special needs my aunt's like 17 years
older than me 18 years older than me but she's never been able to reach beyond you know a certain
level mentally so i we i have always been protective and had to be protective of my aunt
who has special needs who i understand um you know as wants needs and desires people
just because they you know are mentally uh impaired i don't disabled i think i could say
mentally just say i don't know but like they have wants needs and desires and i think it's okay to
speak to that i mean until someone with down syndrome says to you yamanika i'm offended
because i like i don't know.
And if they tell me that, if it's a guy, I'm going to say, meet me in the back room.
Now, here's the reality.
The reality is I get it.
There are people that take advantage and make fun.
But you don't know every person and where every person is coming from.
So my mother and my aunt came to visit after my grandparents had passed.
And we're a very very tight intimate family and so I was trying to get them out of Maryland to just come and you know do
something and my aunt loves it and it was a taping and you know my aunt loves seeing certain things
and my mom so they come and I remember right before I'm trying to get them downstairs because
my aunt now has a cane and the soul so I instantly go in defense mode so you know I'm trying to get them downstairs because my aunt now has a cane and the soul. So I instantly go in defense mode.
So,
you know,
I'm telling people,
excuse me.
And I get out of the way.
So I'm cussing these people out.
I'm like,
get the fuck out the way you hear me.
I said,
can you see somebody special needs here with the cane shit.
So when I go on stage,
I have to address as two people in the front that I done cussed out.
I said,
so I,
now I realized that that is going to be awkward for the first couple of
minutes.
Cause I had to cuss some of y'all out on the way way because my aunt here is here and she has special needs it's a snack
so whatever we got to the point we talked about that the whole thing i said but at the end of the
day i said i also be having issues with people that got special needs too you understand what
i'm saying so i can't act like i'm a bug like i i you know i'd be like okay like especially with
my grandmother that was in wheelchairs and my grandma be wheeling over my foot i'm like come on now you you're in
the wheelchair you ain't blind so you know all the running over my feet shit don't you know come on
now with some of that so you know it's about letting people live to the extent of who they are
and understand who has malintent and who doesn't. And that's a very easy thing.
People get lazy to start lumping everybody in one category.
It's very easy to tell who has malintent, who doesn't,
especially if you are somebody that is discerning
and lives by the spirit.
It's easy.
Yeah.
And I also feel like it's,
you're putting people with special needs
on a different level where you're like,
well, we can't joke around and make fun. And it's like but why aren't they people everybody's you know an
even playing field and i agree like there are some jokes where like you're like you know that
wasn't great you know like trump making fun of somebody with a palsy that's not funny that now
that's all that is that's the shit that makes me,
infuriates me when people go,
well, it's the same thing as this.
It's not.
It's not the same thing
because first of all,
I'll put it like this, right?
I went and I did a narcotics association,
the anonymous,
where they all anonymous were,
and they had a convention.
And already I was like,
well, don't this really get rid
of the anonymous part where all you niggas is here at a convention? So they had a convention and already i was like well don't this really get rid of the anonymous part where all you niggas is here to convince so they had a woman there
at the convention at our show who was doing sign language right and i said which one of y'all got
the nerve to be a junkie in this right so at the end of the day,
yeah, that's crazy. But that's
also facts. Like, your shit ain't
rough enough that you
gonna add
some narcotic shit on top of it.
And on top of it,
the bitch got the sign language now to you
and we don't even know if you're on the shit.
So, you know, so you're not even
tuning into that. And so, after the set, the guy, it was one guy that was deaf.
It was for him.
And he came up to me with his lady and doing this.
Because I brought him into the show.
He liked that.
Like, it was because the show would have never been about him other than there's somebody there signing
but now here's somebody talking about and he thought it was hilarious i mean you gotta allow
people now it could could have went bad or could have been you have to let people give people the
freedom to express and then we can find out was this a good place or was this a bad place was
this someplace i needed to go or not go? And if I
hadn't had the room to do that, I mean, I took the liberty, but here we had a connection after the
facts. And I agree because I'm sure that person has been to so many spaces and has been invisible.
Right. And you made them visible. You acknowledged them as a person. And I honestly think it was a
good joke off the cuff. Like that's it's a good joke. Yeah. Like I've had so much fun with sign
language interpreters. And then people after the show have come up to me and been like, thank you
for acknowledging it. Yeah. You know, I think the DC improv provided one that I had one of the best
shows of my life. Because I can't remember I said something horrific and then he laughed shook his head and then signed and I was like what is the actual
translation to what you just signed and he went oh it was just she fucking said something wild
because he couldn't figure out in the moment so then we took a moment to figure out how for him
to translate this awful thing I had just said to the person and then they laughed it was like a it was an like an audible laugh and I was like that's yeah that felt so good it felt so good that they
like that we just like work through it and it's like maybe I don't know I just I I like that I
like that you said it I I appreciate you because you'll go there and then be like if I went too
far you could let me know but i have so many points to defend
why i did the thing i did yes and that's i think that's like true comedy i think when you can't
explain something that people find offensive then you run into trouble well why did you say it right
and why did you think it was funny right right right right i mean people try to get away with
you know we've we've had the the sort of the white male comic that like wants to push the envelope
with why can't i say the n-word now i did i ran into a little heat this was years ago there was a guy
this white guy i can't think of his name i used to do this uh room called gladys's and they would
have like mics and then they would have like regular shows and so this guy used to come in
and there's a white guy and he used to do a joke about the lord of the rings and how he didn't know anything about
it but when his friend was telling him the names like gandalf and frodo so he was like he thought
it was about some black kids that's funny so i would laugh that the black people would get
tight and shit but i would laugh every time.
And it's like,
and I had to,
so I had to reconcile like,
y'all,
are you going against your people?
Like,
cause every black person here is not feeling this joke.
But I would feel it.
And I said,
but you know what it is?
I didn't,
I never felt any racist malintent from this guy.
He just is one of these guys that some white guy is dumb enough to
think like he literally thinks this shit but he doesn't even get why he thinks that and that is
where the hilarity is because if i was a white guy as out of touch as he is who never had to
think about the shit that comes out of my mouth i would also think that dumb kids was kids from the projects i mean i genuinely think it's
so funny specifically because i just watched lord of the rings and there are literally no black
people in it so for him to be like i thought it was all about black people is like that's in itself
funny and then the fact that you thought a black person would name somebody gandalf that's even funnier frodo that's even funnier like i think if he acknowledged the fact that
it's fucked up that he thought that that's like a way to bring it in yeah really bring it in oh he
was low he was one of these guys that he had one joke that hit and the rest of the set stunk. I mean, but I would be like, I said, do the ghetto kids.
Like, I was, do the ghetto kids.
I mean, every black comic was like, I can't believe you.
You're like, always talking about race.
I was like, yo, that shit is hilarious.
But, you know, like, to the extent of,
just, it's so funny you mentioned that,
because I used to do this joke,
and it's not even a joke, about friend like i love animations i am like obsessed with all if i
could watch animations all day long other than 90 day fiance in the housewives franchise i'd be good
so my friend i went to go see um how to Your Dragon with her mom, right?
And we loved it and we cried and everything like that.
And I said, my only, so I was talking to my friend
and her husband, and I said, the only thing
that disappointed me
was that there were no black people
in the movie.
And my friend's husband goes,
well, it wasn't historically
accurate for there to be black people
in the movie. And I go, well, also it wasn't historically accurate for there to be black people in the movie and I go well also
it wasn't historically accurate to have
a fucking dragon in the movie either
so you mean to tell
me you don't want to see Tyrone
out there bailing some hay
but you don't mind seeing a dragon
breathing fire all over the place as a
mythical character I'm just like
the extent of which people
and that's why i don't want i
don't want us to start lumping everybody in this safeguard because people of color trans people
lgbtq people who have suffered from xenophobia need to have the space to expect express the
extent to which there is controversy and contempt and all kinds of shit in our lives
and not be held to the same standard that you're holding these white guys to who have throughout
the course of their time misused and abused the space in which they could use their voices.
And now you're like, well, I don't want to hear him say that. So now you can't say that. It's like,
no, no, he's been saying shit like
this for hundreds of his grandpappy was saying shit like this his grandpappy's pappy was saying
shit like this you're not gonna shortcut my time and saying what the fuck i want to say
because all of a sudden you over here over policing him absolutely not i'm gonna say what
the fuck i want today yeah i mean i, when Nailed It first came out,
were like, you are harassing.
Wes is the, he's the assistant director on the show.
Because like, he'd be moving something.
I'd be like, ooh, ah, move it.
Move it.
He'd be like, you're sexually harassing him.
I'm like, one, we're friends.
Two, I'll ask him if I've gone too far.
And three, men have been able to do this for so long.
Absolutely.
I think the optics of a fat black woman ordering around a traditionally handsome white dude,
I was like, I don't think you're used to that optic.
And I think that's actually what made you angry.
Right.
And you know white women can't stand to see a black woman talking to a white man about
no shit.
I'm just keeping that real.
Oh my God, write a letter.
Girl, shut the fuck up.
Girl, please. I don't have time for your your nonsense but again it's again people you know when people i've talked about this on my
podcast this is a super long story so i'm not going to get into it but i got into a fight with
this um this trans man um at a restaurant and they took the they we got into an argument it wasn't even it was more so
them because i want to get it on my food and shit for free and all that because when they saw the
tapes they were like they could see i wasn't going crazy i i had gotten poor customer service from
someone who was a trans man but they had not completely transitioned so it was really still a
woman but breast and the whole thing and i asked her for her name because she was being unprofessional
and she said her name was steve and i said well you're acting like a steve you're acting like an
insecure man hopped up on testosterone and you need to calm down okay and i'm telling you now
because you're telling me you're a man i'm telling you how men act now you take all that shit to come
with being a man i don't give a fuck if you ain't got a dick you got a big clit so now she takes the thing to a community where we all live
and thrive right and she goes i ran into this person who was transphobic and i said that's
funny that you're trying to pull off a story that i'm transphobic and you don't even know
anything about me. P.S.
the environment in which you're saying this in
they got pictures of me
walking around naked with
LGBTQ and trans people
trying to get into one of the little
places there so I can suck this nigga off.
Now
and I may have
some Me Too shit there because gay men have definitely told me
girl put the brakes on but my thing is it is a dick is a dick so now this is the this is the
person you're trying to paint me as not even understanding the full spectrum of who i am
and this is why i said again people get lost in the sauce because when you are, when we start to pull all this shit together, you don't add for the fact that people can also be assholes.
Right.
So like if you're trying to make the mission, because I don't personally like this man.
Okay.
Because now she's told me that she is trans and whatever.
She's identifying as trans.
I have to respect that.
Right.
I don't like this man as a person but you cannot assign that i don't like this man because this man is trans
i don't like you because you were being a bitch we were having a customer service a customer
manager a situation where i don't like you like that don't bring in because I don't like you now I don't
like you because you're trans yes I don't like you as a human being as an entity as a person I
don't care what else is going into it I think that's very unfair it's kind of like when people
are like stop using the black card because sometimes people will use black as an excuse for you know x y and z sometimes people use their uh you know gender identity as you know an excuse for
shit but it's like well if you're rude you're rude and i don't really care what kind what the
rudeness is uh coming out of i cared that the customer service wasn't okay also i used information
i knew about you to tell you about yourself. Right, right, right.
I mean, I'm looking at you.
I'm trying not to.
And I understand with the identifiers.
When I asked for her name, because there were still things about her, because I don't know her, of him.
I'm sorry.
Because I don't know him that identified me that this may just be a woman who was a lesbian right that when
we're in a situation where now I'm asking for your name and you haven't been forthcoming about a lot
of things I think when you tell me your name is Steve that you are lying to me do you understand
so now we're in a we're in this sort of tango because I don't like you.
And it all comes from, like, I came into a restaurant.
I asked you to seat me.
My friend was right outside on the phone.
And they act like they couldn't seat me because my party wasn't there.
And I was like, she's right there.
She's like, I can't move out of the way.
How long ago did this happen?
This happened not even, what is it, been two years or a year and a half?
And I'll tell you, let me tell you how this happened.
Let me tell you how I found out.
I, on the plate, I'm trying not to get my friends involved because my friends, one of my friends is like the fire chief there and the whole thing.
I tweeted about this situation because I was so incensed about what happened because I felt like that person I felt
like he was profiling me because I came in with all this jazzy hair and treated me like I was
some ghetto hood rat and the restaurant was very nice and it's almost like you move you know that
kind of thing and I couldn't understand like why aren't you offering me a seat because my friend's
right there on the phone because a seat for one is a seat for two. Like she's coming in.
I don't understand.
It was a Tuesday night.
Nobody was hardly, you got tables galore.
You have like, you can't,
you want to tell me move out of my way.
I got to take other people
and I turn around and ain't nobody there.
So what are you talking about?
Like it was crazy.
So it's like, if you're going to have that kind of attitude
and my friend had suggested like, let's get her name. We thought it was a her. So I said, no, I said, I don't So it's like, if you're going to have that kind of attitude. And my friend had suggested, like, let's get her name.
We thought it was a her.
So I said, no.
I said, I don't.
I said, like, she's going to tell us.
I said, OK, what's your name?
And she goes, my name is Steve.
And I go, OK, right.
Your name's Steve.
So wait, did they then made a post about you and tagged you in it?
I tweeted at the restaurant.
Because I had been,
I go there all the time.
I love the place.
And I was,
I had never been so disrespected
in all my time.
And she actually kicked us
out of the restaurant.
She told us to leave.
We went to a place across the street.
So what,
and I,
and was talking crazy to us
while other people,
patrons were looking. And so, you know, when you black and you talk to somebody that's not black
you gotta always be like
bring it down so people aren't like
the angry black lady started a brawl
right right and that's
actually how the restaurant they looked
at the cameras cause when I said it they said
we already looked at the camera oh so they literally looked at the
footage and that's just not a saying
no they did they were like we looked at the camera they literally looked at the footage and that's just not a saying no they did they were like
we looked at the footage we could see
you know they don't have audio
but they were like they could see by
the space I was giving
her I wasn't putting you know that they were saying
that I wasn't aggressive like
I was so embarrassed
that we were even having this conversation
because there was a white guy
that was there and you could always tell
when you were having a situation
and a white person knows
that you're going through this situation
because you're black
or there's a idea that you're black and ghetto.
So the guy's trying to,
he looks and,
cause he was shocked.
And then when I turned,
like trying to figure out what's going on,
then he tried to move
cause he, you know,
they don't want to get involved.
But he knew that this shit didn't look right.
So it was like, my friend was right.
She was like, we should get the name.
I just was like, at this point in time,
I don't want, there's no reason for me
to give my money and my business
or my time or my energy to a place.
You know, I think sometimes people of color are we do this and i get
the anger but it's like no you're gonna serve me you tell yes and you're gonna take my money
and it's like we don't need to do that i'll blast you on social media but i'm not giving you my
fucking money like if they hadn't come to me correct and hit and was like listen we looked
at the footage we and they had had problems with this person in the past i think a lot of people think just because you're gay
or trans or non-binary you can't be racist and that's truly not a thing that is a dream that's
not real because you can be you know you can be and. And I didn't realize that was a thing
until I had a friend of mine from high school
who never, you know,
we were to perform around high school.
So we just assume all the guys, they were gay
because they were really in touch with themselves.
And we were constantly like getting undressed
in front of them.
Nobody cared.
But, you know, I had a friend
and I knew he was gay.
He never came out.
He never said anything,
but I always treated him and I knew he was gay. He never came out. He never said anything, but
I always treated him like, I don't, I'm not going to press him until he says something,
but he was in my carpool. And I always just treated him like one of my sisters, like,
you know, like, Hey girl, you know, whatever, whatever. So he comes to New York. Now this is
13 years after we've graduated 13 or 14 years after we graduated, still have never had a
conversation with him to this day about him being gay.
I decide, because we're in New York, and at this time I had been doing a lot of performing on Fire Island,
and I really got to know the culture and understand, you know, I knew where to take him.
So I was like, without telling him that I know that he's gay, I took him to Splash.
I took him to therapy.
You know, I'm like, you know, oh my God, that child, that ain's gay I'm I took him to splash I took him to therapy you know I'm like
you know oh my god that's child that ain't a real toss so now you know I'm taking him to places and
so we probably went out a couple of nights like four or five times and so now I'm itching because
I'm like he hasn't met anybody hasn't met anybody what's going on? Is he not, is he repressed? Is he not saying anything?
So I had a, so I said, listen,
I know we've never spoken about your sexuality,
but I think you understand that I'm taking you to gay clubs
because I understand what's going on.
And I just want to know, how can I help you?
Like meet people, friends, a partner. What can I do?
So I hook you up with some of my gay friends that I know.
Like what, what are you looking for?
And he was like, you know, you're taking me to clubs and I'm like a dark boy.
You know, like I'm a dark black boy.
And he's like, the white guys don't want to date me.
Like they'll date certain types of black boys, but they won't.
And I said, that can't, I said that, you know, I'm like naive.
Right. So I'm like, I said, that can't, I said, that, you know, I'm like naive, right?
So I'm like, I said, that can't, I said, that can't be true.
I said, because they're gay.
They're already a part of a subculture that's not the dominant culture.
So I'm like, there's no way that there is a discrimination or racism happening towards you and another culture that is also part of a subset. So I go to a friend of mine, white friend of mine, who I trust, love, whatever.
And we talk race and he keeps it very frank with me, blah, blah, blah.
So I said to him what my friend told, I said, you know, he told me this.
I said, and I just, I want to know how I can get him out of this thinking.
He was like, why were you trying to get him out of the thinking?
And I said, because it's not true.
And I think it's, I think it's wrong for him to be.
I said, I understand.
He's taking a lot of things about being black and he's bringing it over here when he doesn't have to.
This is a community that's open, that's loving, that's supportive.
And he goes, oh girl, no.
I was like, you gotta be shitting me.
He says, he said, listen, my, his own father had told him, he said, I don't mind that you're gay, but please don't date a black boy.
And because this my friend's sister had already been with a black boy, the father didn't want to be overtaken by the sounds of blackness.
And so I said, I said, that's crazy.
I said, you mean to tell me your father doesn't have a problem with you taking a dick in the ass as long as that dick is not black?
Like, that's how deep racism is.
So while I understand people are suffering, obviously, we have LGBT crimes, Q crimes happening all over the place.
They're losing their lives.
They're being damaged.
We're seeing in the street.
they're losing their lives they're being damaged we're seen in the street understand that right now the number one victim of a murder and abuse are black trans women so before we start to go
what who's having the worst day understand that black women trans women of black color are being
murdered and
nobody is doing anything about
it nobody's saying anything
about it nobody's trying
to solve the crimes ain't no protests
happening about that and it's
just happening all
over the fucking place
the race thing
when people come to me and they go you're a comic be a
comic stop talking race i go don't tell me because i when i was a kid i went to an all-white school
i got to see race at at the bottom floor and i understand how when i tell you that white people
will align with the with each each other, even when they know
sometimes shit's not right. That's why you got to hold your white friends accountable. It's not okay
for you to call me and tell me, Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you need to call your family and
tell them to stop fucking being racist because your complacency and your quietness, because you
benefit from the race. Like there's a lot of white people
that we consider to be allies.
When they walk into the polls on November 3rd,
they go and check that ticker tape for Donald Trump
because at the end of the day,
Donald Trump may be awful,
but he ain't worse to them than he is to us.
Yeah, it's wild.
Real quick, we do have to take a break for a commercial.
And we're back. Okay, Yamanika, I've asked you literally nothing about dating.
Have you been dating during the pandemic?
I broke up during the pandemic.
Oh, in the beginning, middle or end? I mean, not that we're at the end, but you know.
I broke up in the beginning.
And that's to the extent of which I want to talk about him in that situation.
But yeah, I've just been, you know, honestly, I'm at this age where, you know, a lot of my friends have been having babies through this pandemic.
You know, a lot of them got married last year.
So they're having babies.
I'm seeing marriages everywhere.
People are proposing to each other in the quarantine and people are getting married and going on dating sites.
I realize right now where I'm at, like, I don't mind a good romp because I love to have
sex.
You know what I mean?
I'm a Scorpio.
I love sex.
But I really don't want somebody in my life like that.
I really don't want to be married.
I don't want to be in a partner situation.
Because I am a Christian,
I have to do that to have sex all the time.
But I just want a baby.
Hmm.
And my cats.
Mm-hmm.
And to travel.
And I don't, you know. Well, you can have a baby without having a partner.
I know.
I'm putting some of my eggs in the refrigerator right now
because with quarantine, I can't go to a place.
So hopefully this Frigidaire keeps them.
Wait, what?
Wait, is this real or is this a bit?
I'm kidding.
Because I truly was like, how do you scoop eggs i didn't even know how to go about doing that when i you know it's so funny because the whole process
with with like the quarantine it it makes you look at yourself right and look at really what you want and where you need to be and in
terms of like i've because i'm a comedian and you know this because we're comedians and because also
we are fuller figured beautiful women but you know black women a lot of men want to take advantage of
that or think that there is a certain extent to which we can expect something from them.
And I'm really tired of sort of meeting that sort of immature guy that's not prepared to take on a real woman.
And I feel like a part of the journey without women going, oh, my gosh, she's one of those type of girls.
I say let a guy let guys chase you and hunt for you, let a guy, let guys chase you and hunt for you
and let a guy see the value of you and come to you and not the, cause I've always been like,
oh, I like him. I won't fuck him. I'm being him. And da, da, da, da, da. And now I'm just like,
I'm not interested in doing that anymore. I want a guy to come to me and be like, I see you. I see
all the value of who you are and you're super spectacular and amazing. And I would be honored to have you in my life and vice versa.
So girl, right now I'm chilling.
I'm going on Forever 21, buying pillows.
They ain't going bankrupt.
So they selling everything.
They selling pillows and phone cases and all kinds of shit.
So that's what I'm doing.
I feel you on that because in my early 20s and my late 20s, I chased men.
I chased people.
And I think I was doing it because I was like, well, if no one's chasing me, I might as well, you know, chase somebody so I can get some because I'm horny and I love to fuck.
But the older I get, the more I'm like, what?
What did it get me?
older i get the more i'm like what what did it get me so i've had like enough sex with people who were not nice to me or it was not good sex or whatever and it was like for what it didn't do
anything so i i think i'm done chasing people i recently was like talking this dude on like
hinge or whatever but we had been talking for like two weeks and they didn't ask me out so i was like all right i match you'll find me you'll if it's meant to be you'll fucking find me but like
i'm not i don't want to be pulled around jerked around and then like have like i just i expect
more from people and yeah the older i get the more i'm like i truly do not wish to waste fucking time
with you because you know you go to work and you deal with bullshit people and it's like that's work that's whatever i'll deal with it but like on
my off time i'm not dealing with bullshit people in my off time that's wild well you know here's
the thing that's and i hate to bring it back to race but this always comes back to it right
black women are already set apart to be like if if we're not problematic, we got too much success.
We got too under success.
All these things.
And it doesn't help that you have the rest of the world speaking a narrative against you.
And then also you have black males sometimes speaking against black women.
Right.
So it makes it even more destructive.
And that's not to say black women don't say things against black men but i'm we're specifically talking about women right now
so you have that dynamic and a lot of times what happens is the idea is that because you are
considered to be out of the loop and out of the fray of desirability because we have said that you are going to take whatever i give you
and that's that's like no because when you go online and you type your name in results come up
and why the fuck would you dim your shit for a nigga who don't have no results coming up
other than maybe some background
site where you can do a background check on a nigga.
I'm just saying that's the facts.
Yes. So stand in your
truth. Because you know, when
you are a woman,
because I used to look around, I used to go,
man, marginal white
women got it easy. Because they don't,
because if white men don't scoop them,
it's going to be some dumb nigga that's going to scoop and they be marginal as best and i'm like wow we working
this hard we be looking flying doing all this and then i realized i said you don't want a
don't nobody want somebody that's just coming to them to as a place mark
i don't want you to come to me because you think I'm gonna like
you know I was dealing with this white guy
and I had to stop fucking with him I was like I'm not
you're not gonna no I'm not gonna do this I'm not doing this
I'm not gonna be your chocolate
bunny
buzz like you know a lot of it felt like
I felt like the Aunt Jemima bitch
you know it felt like a lot of it was like
you know the niggas sucking on my titties
and shit like he trying to get mother Africa milk you know it felt like a lot of it was like you know the niggas sucking on my titties and shit like he trying to get mother africa milk you know and like it didn't make no kind of sense
and so it was like as some of the shit that he was i was like oh no if i if i this nigga's not
gonna marry me and then i'm about to turn around and i'm gonna have to wear a bandana on my head
every time i see him because he wants this maple syrup shit you know i'm saying like
he's not trying to get me the cream he's trying to get me to put out some maple syrup so i understand where especially
black women are right in in the pool in which we swim if we that's why you got so many shows out
here now with the uh with these niggas like future you know he got 18 baby daddy mama drama situations
and and and one of the
amigos they got 50 kids a piece and and all and and we just recycling because black women need
to start this mission of i'm going to sit still and i'm going to whether it is god you believe
in or the universe or whatever i'm going to sit right here and I'm going to put out energy that is, I deserve to be
loved. I have earned love because I am loving. Even though I said the thing about the search
engine with the name, I'm saying like with, if we're going to stack on reality, that's the reality
to slap you in your face, you know, or who the fuck I am. But that aside, I am somebody that
deserves love because I give
love. I want love. I respect love. I respect people. And you need to have that type of person
and that energy will find you. Because I think a lot of times women are so focused and me included,
women are so focused on finding their knight in shining armor, somebody that's going to love me,
somebody that's going to make me feel good or you don't realize
that while you're so busy trying to find the man that you can fit into and find he can make him
love you you're not open up for the man that deserves to be loved by you yeah i get lost in it
a lot where i'm just like when's he coming coming? And I'm like, well, and then I think about Cher.
Cher in an interview said that her mom was like, Cher, when are you going to settle down and get a man?
She's like, I am my own man.
And I'm like, yeah, I don't.
The only thing like having a partner would bring to me is like, oh, now I have someone who's invested in my life and wants to spend time with me, companionship.
But I have like really great friends.
Yeah. And you better hope they ain't trying to kill you. Let a lot of these let me tell you something this is why let me tell you something you if you had met my i wish
my grandmother was still living she my grandmother would talk you out of this relationship shit so
hard my grandmother say well honey you know when you get with these men that he be trying to kill
you because if you got a little money in your bank account you know next thing you know he out there
you know you know my mother's carrying on a legacy if you want to start having a reality check about where you feel
about companionship and needing a man in your life go watch lifetime uh go watch oxygen after
7 30 go watch the id channel because it's women out here that thought they found they prince and they prince was somewhere getting
a side situation
listen sweetie pies ain't the only
situation where the sweet
pies is not sweet
that nigga he killed
his nephew and tried to kill his mama
and he out there you know what I'm saying
he ain't the only one out there
he ain't the only one out there that shit
when I saw that about i said
yo he killed his nephew and then he also was trying to kill his mama and who is this you oh
my god i gotta bring you into some some of the uh the black world that i'm in you didn't hear
about the woman's sweetie pies and how her son killed had a man a hitman sent to kill the nephew
and was getting ready to kill the mama for insurance money,
but the nigga was so dumb,
he didn't even fill out the paperwork properly,
so he didn't even get no insurance money.
No.
Wait, now I'm looking at this.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Let me tell you something.
We started with a death of the whole family and the monkey,
and we about to end on a whole death and sweet potato pies. I can't. You bring out the murderer
in me. You bring out the murderer in me. That's so funny, truly, that we started and ended
on death. Well, I mean, that's truly the end of the podcast, Yamanika.
I mean, that is. But but I mean I just want to say
like people have to understand and this is
I mean what happened with that guy
that is to have that kind of
spirit that you would kill
your own family member and then try to turn around
and do that shit on your mother and
you know we're laughing around it that
there's nothing we know
that is fucked up but I
want to remind women and men too
don't be so quick to be and i'm talking to myself because i have been i because i love love i love
all that looking into eyes and looking and glossing and oh baby and i everybody saw my
last relationship we was all but you have to understand that not,
if you don't take the time to know who you are and make sure that you are finding the right mission to who you are,
with who you surround yourself around,
you may turn around and find you a sweetie pie nigga or a monkey driving
your car because not everybody is on the up and up and not everybody's spirit stop acting like
women have to know and men know that you are the prize let somebody come to you like you are the
prize that way if they come to you like you are the prize and you see the prize in them you can
go to them like they're the prize but all of this i just want a man to like i want this and a lot of
women running around here talking about their clock is ticking and all this other shit.
And it's like, your clock won't tick real fucking fast if you get you one of these damn Sweetie Pie niggas that's trying to kill you.
Your clock won't have no snooze.
Yamanika, do you have anything you want to promote?
Yeah, I'm going to be the new owner of Sweetie Pie if you want to watch more
of Yamanika I'll do it
it's a special it's a part of
the degenerates it's
several half hours Yamanika has one of the funniest
ones there's also so many clips
on YouTube of Yamanika doing stand up
yes go to my YouTube I have a new
YouTube page Yamanika
official channel where we do Friday night lives Nicole's coming and stand up. Yes, go to my YouTube. I have a new YouTube page, Yamanika Official Channel,
where we do Friday Night Lives.
Nicole's coming on in two weeks, right?
You're on September 18th, I believe.
Yes!
We're going to have a bomb burn of a time.
Also, one of my favorite memories,
I think it might have been the first time I met you.
We were doing a show,
Mateo Lane's old show at UCB East.
Yeah.
And I went up, and then you followed me, Mateo Lane's old show at UCB East. And I went up and then you followed me.
And the first thing out of your mouth went, no.
No, I am not
Nicole Byer. No,
she didn't get two cents.
And I was laughing.
Like, crying laughing.
Because you were yelling
at this audience that had said nothing to you.
No one heard something I was thinking nuts let me tell you something it may be an insult to you that people might compare us but i said i said absolutely i said that girl fine honey i said she be out here with her
outfits on her hair i said she be i ain't never seen you look bad i said because some of these
bitches y'all be comparing me to I'm like
I don't know if your eyes work
I said but hell yeah cause the cold be looking
fly as fuck absolutely
honey
it made me laugh so hard
like tears were streaming down my face
it made me laugh
cause you know how white people are
they like what's going on here
I blinked and she's up again.
Yamanika, I ask all of my guests this.
Would you date me?
Absolutely, I'd date you.
You kidding me?
Is this all it took was a podcast?
Are we together now?
Oh my God, I have a have a girlfriend yeah i'm about to
nisi dash you i love that nisi dash married a woman out of nowhere it was out of nowhere
nowhere i loved it like i was like 2020 is fun 2020 is sad but 2020 is fun
i eat pussy that's what 2020 said I hear you Niecy
Yamunika
thank you so much
thank you for having me
if you like this episode of oh why won't you date me
you can like it you can subscribe on iTunes
if you write me something nasty to hit on me
I will read it
this nice person said
I want to get so deep in that ass
they send search teams
put your delicious toes inside of me
I'd let you roll in mud so I could lick you clean
anyways hope you have an awesome day
laughing
laughing
laughing
wow
wowie wow
laughing
I got excited
yeah I mean don't end that nicely
well that's it
bye bye
this has been a Team Coco production.