Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Praise Kink (w/ Jujubee)

Episode Date: October 7, 2022

Iconic drag queen Jujubee (Drag Race S2, All-Stars 1 and 5) joins Nicole to reminisces over her many seasons of drag competitions, her sobriety, playing a matchmaker, and having a praise kink. For mo...re drag queen interviews, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: bit.ly/wwydmdrag Black Lives Matter. Click here for an updated list of over 100 different things you can do to support racial justice.   Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Ooh, baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, tries to figure out how I'm still single. Even though you could steal all my silverware and gaslight me into thinking I do have silverware. My guest today is a singer and legendary drag superstar
Starting point is 00:00:45 who competed on RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2, All-Star Season 1 and 5, and Drag Race UK vs. The World, also Drag U, and her new show, Queen of Hearts, is a first of its kind blind dating game show podcast available anywhere you stream your podcasts. Ooh, baby, I got jujube. Hello, my love. Thank you so much for having me. And oh my gosh, what an introduction, first of all. Can you do this every day for me, everywhere I go?
Starting point is 00:01:28 I love doing people's intros. Sometimes I fuck them up, but I think I did good on this one. Also, I forgot to ask you before we started, what are your pronouns? My pronouns are he, him, his, but in drag, it's she, her, hers. And I'm here for either of it. And do you prefer boy name or do you prefer Jujubee? Call me Jujubee. My boy name's Airline and sometimes it's confusing. But Jujubee's, you know, I think she shows up to host Queen of Hearts. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Tell me about your name, Airline. Oh, okay. So first generation American. Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, okay. So first generation American. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Okay. I've spent like my entire life doing this. So I think I've perfected it. Okay. I'm a first generation American. My parents had no idea that the E tacked on to airline would change the pronunciation to airline. But I love the name because it's so unusual and unique and it's me airline
Starting point is 00:02:29 I love it it's fun I also do love a mistake in a name my cousin her name is a mistake because they let her brother name her he named her after a girl that he liked in school
Starting point is 00:02:41 but he got her name wrong what was what was it can you say the name you know i'll tell you later i can't be putting my family's business out there like that she's like i didn't know she's like i had no idea until i listened to your podcast girl my name was fucked up till you said it okay so tell me about wait are you in a hotel room right now?
Starting point is 00:03:06 I am. I'm in LA. I'm actually, I'm here to rehearse for Drag the Musical. I'm like that gay. That's fun. What's Drag the Musical? Drag the Musical is a musical base. It's the baby of our great drag queen, Alaska. And it's, yeah, I'm like, I can't believe I'm a part of this. It's really cool. It's going to be in the bourbon room. I think it's, by the time this comes out, it's probably like the last week because we end on the 15th of October.
Starting point is 00:03:37 But it's been great. There's been great reviews. I mean, I'm sure there's going to be. I think Alaska puts on a fabulous show Drag Queen of the Year is such a fun show It's so fun And the fact that now There's a musical called Drag the Musical
Starting point is 00:03:55 It literally tells you exactly what it is And we sing, we dance Girl, I'm not a dancer But I show up at rehearsals Like I'm Madonna like i'm like yes i wish i was a dancer i wish i had just the slightest bit of rhythm i feel like god was like not for you yeah yeah you know what god gave us everything else but rhythm but that's okay because i can find one in three i can you know i can't find one and i can't find three i'm constantly like
Starting point is 00:04:34 one two two two and we're going i don't know it's terrible it's so hard. You had to do a lot of dancing on Drag Race, right? Well, it was pretty easy. I pretended really well when it came to dancing and when it came to sewing. I think I pretend really well. I honestly truly think fake it till you make it can get you farther than people think. Baby, it's going to get me to heaven. Wait, how did you get into drag? Is this a boring topic? Do you want to tell me? No, not at all.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Not at all. Okay, so my love for theater was really what brought me to drag because there was a world when, you know, with theater, you have to rehearse, you have to be present. It takes a lot of time. And when I was in college, I just didn't have the time to make for that.
Starting point is 00:05:34 But drag was something that gave me that same feeling on stage. It was that, I don't know if it was the attention or if it was just that magic that you feel when you're on stage. You get it as a performer. And drag brings that. I think it's a little bit of both. It's like, boy, oh boy, do I love attention.
Starting point is 00:05:52 But God forbid you sing happy birthday to me in a restaurant. Oh, please don't. Stop it. Give me a stage and a spotlight. That's exactly how I am. I'm like, okay okay when I'm at work let me just be fierce but don't even sing to me
Starting point is 00:06:09 I'm so uncomfortable you loved theater while you were in high school what theatrical performances were you in actually my first role was this soldier in this play and I was in ninth grade
Starting point is 00:06:25 in Fresno, California and I played a soldier that had one line and I don't remember what the line was but it was the lady or it was the line or the lady. It was one of those you know they had to pick a door and see if they survived and then
Starting point is 00:06:42 the next year we did The Wiz and I never heard of the whiz and i fell in love with the music and i was like oh my gosh uh i got cast as the actual whiz and i was you know roller skating around and practicing and tragedy strikes this is my real life my father passed away so i had to move from california to massachusetts so i never got to do the whiz and that like that fire that theater fire was always inside of me and here i am i'm so sorry similarly i in high school was in a play called up the down staircase it's a play not one person's ever heard. And my mother died, like, in the beginning of production.
Starting point is 00:07:27 And then I was like, well, I guess I don't have to be sad Nicole for two hours of play practice. I will be Elizabeth, the student with the issue. Me, literally me. Yeah, it's funny how much of an escape performing is because oh my gosh i don't have to deal with any of the bullshit that i'm dealing with i can just be on a stage and entertain you and you laughing or enjoying me then makes me happy yep until i take off my makeup and i'm back in my life and i'm like oh yeah yeah until it's like midnight for me in my bed in a hotel eating
Starting point is 00:08:07 freaking cold chicken with my bare hands. Listening to podcasts. Oh, I've been there. I'm still there. Leaving the do not disturb sign on the door to be like, don't take my chicken fingies. I will eat them cold later.
Starting point is 00:08:26 They may make me sick because they've been out for a minute but i'm gonna enjoy them okay i feel like we're on a date right now and i would i would totally date you i don't know why you're asking why won't you date me i would totally date you we would be be nonstop chatting. We would explore things. I love that. I love that so much. Usually I wait till the end of the episode to ask if you would date me. But I love that. Nine minutes in, you were like, fuck it, throw in the towel, let's do it. Well, when you know, you know. When you know, you know. Oh my God, did you baby. So oh my god did you be so wait where were you born you were born in california i was born in boston born in boston moved to california
Starting point is 00:09:12 back to boston back to boston how was growing up in boston because to me boston is a party town, people are friendly, but also casual racism at every corner. It's covert. So you're like, did it just happen? No, it's absolutely very true. But, you know, Boston now has a fierce Asian mayor, Miss Michelle Wu. She is incredible. She is incredible. She is incredible. And she's pretty hip.
Starting point is 00:09:50 She also supports Jujubee, so I gotta support her. But I will say, you're right, because the experience is very subtle and you do have to like, you think like, oh my gosh, is this person really following me around? Is TJ Maxx? Yes. All I want is a candle. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:11 I'm a Maxxinista. How dare you follow me around? I barely have a, my Gucci purse couldn't possibly fit anything else but my wallet. Yeah. Getting followed around stores was a thing that my mother would talk about but it doesn't like really like hit you until you're like oh yeah it's happening it's and then you have to prove that you're not doing that and it's the worst thing because you're like let me grab a pillow so that it's a big thing i'll tell you i was just in a sunglasses hut um i think his name
Starting point is 00:10:49 is kade or cory very kind love him very much he's at the sunglass hut in downtown disney i've been to disney so many times in the last like two weeks i'm i guess a disney person i i don't know you walk too much everyone's ugly i don't actually know if i like it so i'm at sunglasses hut and all i want to do is get these very ugly white versace glasses i need to put them on my face the lady is talking to this other woman and like is completely ignoring me and i was like i know you're trying to work on this sale but all you could do is step aside because i'm pointing at them and just hand them to me and then she was very dismissive after and i was like this lady thinks i'm not gonna buy it so then i was like well i'll buy those and then another pair of versace glasses and give me
Starting point is 00:11:39 two pairs of ray-bans as i left i was like big left, I was like, ha ha ha! Big mistake! And I was like, what is happening? There was one lady and you went insane. Yeah, that would be me too. I'd be like, well, I'm gonna prove to you that I can afford this and I'm not a thief. You're the thief. You're the thief, man.
Starting point is 00:12:01 You probably clocked in one extra hour for another $9 on your paycheck, which is truly insane that I did that. But I don't regret it. They're very ugly glasses, and I love them. Well, all of them? The two pairs I bought are disgusting. Or the four pairs.
Starting point is 00:12:18 Out of the four, two are disgusting, two are normal. I would go back to Disney and return two of them. Oh, my God. That's what I would do. I think they work on commission, and I don't want Cade or Corey or Carl. It was a K name. I don't want him to not get his commission because I really loved him. He was helpful.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Oh, that's nice then. Well, shout out to Cade, Corey, Keith. At the Sunglasses. Oh, and I meant to shout out someone elseade, Corey, Keith. At the Sunglasses. Oh, and I meant to shout out someone else who was so kind to me. I wonder if I did this already. His name was Daniel. Daniel was a cater waiter at the New Way House or New House in Hollywood. I was there for this like weird event for the environment.
Starting point is 00:13:01 And the chicken fingers were so delightful and delicious. He recognized me and he said, Miss Byer buyer is there anything else you i can get you i said a box of chicken fingers to go and he looked at me and he said are you serious and i said i have no pride these are yummy please give me more free buffet food to go and he he did. That is a king. He was my king. So, Daniel, if you are listening, I may have thanked you already, but I think about those chicken fingies every day. Chicken fingies? I love a chicken fingie. How do you like your chicken fingies?
Starting point is 00:13:41 Do you like it? Okay, there's two types. One is like crunchy, battered. Yeah. Like that you get a like Dairy Queen. And then there's the nasty fucking breaded ones. Which ones do you like? Like, wait, the nasty bread ones you mean that are like doughy?
Starting point is 00:13:59 Hold on. This is the content everybody wants. on this is the content everybody wants me scrolling through instagram to find this picture of a chicken fingy okay because like it does need to be crispy it absolutely has to be crispy yes but sometimes people really prefer these these nasty ones okay Okay, hold on. This might take one whole minute. No, I will wait. I literally, I would do anything for a chicken tendie. Chickie. A little chickie fingie.
Starting point is 00:14:35 They're truly my favorite. A chickie fingie. And I used to have one saved in my phone, like a picture so I could show servers, to be like, which kind do you have because i only want one kind so here the the message i sent my friend was were you with me when i googled chicken fingies to show a server to make sure they had the ones that i like my friend said no nicole but i wish i had been there okay so here they're okay which ones do you like better i i think the ones on the left
Starting point is 00:15:10 are the ones that i would eat is that this one is that yeah is that the one that's crispy right yes that is a because that's the one that i would eat delicious juicy one but sometimes people are like that's the better one and i'm like that like... Isn't that a wet batter, though? I think the crunchy one is a wet batter. And I think the other one is breaded. So it's just like flour, egg, breading. Yeah, I think when it's breaded, yeah. Flour, egg, breadcrumbs?
Starting point is 00:15:40 Yeah, breading or something. And I think the other one is maybe no egg? I don't know. Girl, the best fried chicken, though, is when they press that potato starch into that wing and they fry the fuck out of it. And it's crunchy, crispy, succulent. Wait, I don't know if I've had potato starch chicken wings. Where should I be going? Korea town. Get those crunchy ass wings. it's just that starch that
Starting point is 00:16:07 oh it's so crispy my mouth is watering i guess i gotta go to koreatown i love chicken fried chicken chicken sammy's grilled chicken grilled chicken is good i like fake chicken too i can fuck with fake chicken there's this cafe called Spoke Bicycle Cafe. And you'd think, bicycles? But no. They have this chicken sandwich that's so fucking good. But is it good enough for you to wait a couple hours for? Because, you know, there are places like that.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Howlin' Ray's in Chinatown. You will have to, when they first opened, I waited on a line for like an hour and a half. And I was like, God bless, best ride of my life i fucking loved it delicious i'll wait for some good chicken i fucking love i can't believe how much we've talked about chicken i know uh jujubee tell me about your upbringing So you grew up Do you have siblings? I do, I have two siblings My upbringing wasn't the
Starting point is 00:17:11 Best upbringing, I'm not gonna lie Okay But it helped me grow An imagination So I kind of would Create little scenarios And little plays with my sister You know, because family life wasn't like The best thing for us kind of would create little scenarios and little plays with my sister.
Starting point is 00:17:27 You know, because family life wasn't like the best thing for us. But we've definitely grown into these incredible adults. I love that. I think you're very cool. My assistant, she's very good at research. She found something that says that you have a memory of your dad buying you your first doll when you were six years old yes yes we were in a uh we were in this it was a corner store and it had everything in it and he told me i could pick something from the little wheel of toys and you know there was there was every kind of toy but i wanted this doll i don't know why i wanted the doll i picked it up and i brought it to the counter and the person behind the counter said
Starting point is 00:18:11 um oh this is for girls and my dad didn't care and he was like oh no this is what this is what he wants so this is what we're gonna get him and i never forgot that i you know and I'll never forget that because it was really impactful just to know yeah and I didn't think anything of it in hindsight it's like wow he like really was
Starting point is 00:18:36 this amazing man who could see that I was a lot different but wanted me to feel so a part of this world and his life. That to me is pretty magical. I think it's so magical and so special. And I don't know why we gender toys anyway, because it's like you're just playing with something.
Starting point is 00:19:01 But yeah, that's like, it's so weird to be like, no, boys can't play with dolls they have to play with smaller dolls with guns yeah yeah yeah i had race cars i had you know dolls teddy bears i had all yeah i love that the little boy i nannied he he, one of them, he had like this little, I think I brought it maybe. It was like, just like a little McDonald's toy where it was one of them little girls that flies.
Starting point is 00:19:33 You like wind her up and she like flies a little bit. I brought that to him and boy was he elated. He was like, a flying girl. And I just remember how joyful he got with it. But then in the same breath, Flying girl. I just remember how joyful he got with it.
Starting point is 00:19:52 But then in the same breath would like be done with her and play with his cars and like go back to her. And yeah, I just I think we spend too much time policing what kids should and shouldn't do. Like, yeah, it's not hurtful. Just like fucking let a kid do whatever. It's just imagination. I think it really helped me. Right? It helped me just imagine. And, you know, whenever I needed to create a space for myself mentally that was more bright and shiny, I was able to do that.
Starting point is 00:20:15 And that I love. I just want to pivot back to Drag Race for a hot second. Yes. I talk about Drag Race all day, baby. I know. And I'm like, is it boring? No. Is Jujubee over it?
Starting point is 00:20:28 Never. But you were on so many times. So many. I think you've been on the most of any other performer. I think I might be. I think I might be. I definitely can say that I made it it to top three was it four times it was three or four times yeah four times right and that's that's a that's pretty cool
Starting point is 00:20:53 yeah it's pretty incredible i loved you on season two because the earlier seasons boy oh boy are near and dear to my fucking heart because there wasn't really social media back then and the girls weren't immediately touring with each other so it was like oh if i don't like you i don't fuck with you and i'll let you fucking know yeah oh yeah we we were like oh we're just at summer camp after this there's weren't thinking about merch and DragCon didn't even exist yet. So to think back then, I think it's so amazing to see how much it's grown because the queens are still working. the queens are still working. Mama Ru has given us the opportunity to go all around the world. And it's been such an incredible journey.
Starting point is 00:21:50 I'm very thankful. Very. I just want to talk about season two, specifically because there's some queens who don't get enough love from that season, so I just want to bring them up. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Okay. You were obviously there for Mystique Summer Madison. Yes. Her bitch I'm from Chicago moment, which is iconic. But I think we forget about the moment during the reunion where she said that she wasn't in a good headspace because her mother was kidnapped by the cartel was this maybe i should have her on the show because it is one of my favorite moments of any tell-all or reunion because rue tried to like get information she was just very much she was not stolen i thought
Starting point is 00:22:47 she had been stolen i was worried that's why i came down the runway and lame brian couture you are so shady nicole it's one of my favorite moments So was there more than what was edited? Did she get into more detail? I want to say there was no editing to be done for that. Because the reaction that Rue had was the same reaction we all had. We just didn't know what was going on. we all had. We just didn't know what was going on.
Starting point is 00:23:27 And I think back then, you know, the newness was there and all of us were so proud, but we were like, well, what is that? How do you know? How do you know? Like we, cause we didn't have our phones or anything like that, of course. So I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:41 Maybe she was watching the news and. And was like, oh, did my mom get snatched up? That's one of my favorite moments. And then the bitch I'm from Chicago moment to me is iconic because everyone is wearing curtains. It's the Gone with the Wind challenge. So this woman is screaming while wrapped in a curtain. In a curtain. In a curtain.
Starting point is 00:24:04 And that's why I love the show. Because if you break down, it's so funny. It's hilarious. But you know when she screamed, bitch, I'm from Chicago? I was like, well, you are from Chicago,
Starting point is 00:24:19 but don't you live in Fort Worth, Texas? And she's like, well, yeah, I'm from Chicago, but I live in Fort Worth. Yeah, that's where I reside, but I'm still from Chicago. But I'm still from Chicago. And I was like, yes. I think I cried that day. It was so stressful.
Starting point is 00:24:33 I was like, can you guys stop fighting? In my ugly feather wig. I mean, the whole show is stressful. I turned Tyra Sanchez into a domestic terrorist. And I say that with love. With love, yeah. Because, boy oh boy, Tyra was very funny to me. It's a shame that Tyra doesn't do drag anymore
Starting point is 00:24:56 because I thought she was so talented. Oh, I mean, Beyonce did just put out new music. So I feel like this is an opportunity for us to see a renaissance for tyra sanchez the other tyra um and then yeah it was just a perfect season i will con there's one episode where they have to eat you guys had to eat chicken or what yes chicken or what yeah and again my favorite mystique was like i don't eat fried food which is again i say this with love it was it's she was just so funny because i was like it's one thing to like say what you want to say but just to create a story
Starting point is 00:25:47 I love it it's so fun and then All Stars 1 insane why would we ever do it why would we put people in pairs I couldn't believe it I was honestly it was pretty scary but exciting at the same time
Starting point is 00:26:03 because I knew I was like oh my gosh I'm with Raven she's incredible so we're gonna go far I was like we're gonna work this out and if I get a little lazy she could do she could just pick up my slack because I know Raven and she's not gonna let us down
Starting point is 00:26:19 I love that thought process yeah I love that my favorite moment Yeah. Oh, yes. I love that. My favorite moment of that is Raven going, guess what, Mimi? Mimi? We did that. Tammy Brown.
Starting point is 00:26:36 What does she say? I'm a Teletubby, too. Teleport me to Mars. Yes, teleport us to Mars. And she did the ha ha. I'm acting. I feel like that that scene will forever be. It's like it's like a Renaissance painting.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Yes. If you just take a still from that. Yes. Everybody's looks. It's like that's the last supper. It really is the last supper. And again looks it's like it that's the last supper it really is the last supper and again is very funny uh manila is literally dressed as a teletubby and i think mimi's wearing like a clown outfit like it's just it's so when you get down to it and break it apart
Starting point is 00:27:20 it is so funny to me it is it's hilarious i'm so glad that you can see that part of it because that's how i watch drag race i'm like this is so funny it's funny and i don't get the uh if you're listening to this and you're part of the fandom there's no need to ever say anything nasty to any of the girls ever on a televised competition show sure they've signed up to be critiqued by the judges and if you have a thought go to a party go to a viewing party say it to your friends
Starting point is 00:27:53 you don't have to tweet about it everyone has so many opinions and I'm like I don't know we've been served entertainment for a long time a long time darling I love it and then season five of all stars oh my goodness she had the money she had the money some of these looks were oh she went in that was that was one of the most exciting times for me to actually prepare i was in such a great headspace. I started my sober journey.
Starting point is 00:28:27 So like I was solid. And as soon as I got the call, I made, I think it was like 40 phone calls just to get everything in order. Because I was touring. So there were bits and spaces. But you knew. You knew Miss Juju was in a good Juju headspace
Starting point is 00:28:45 congrats on sobriety it's hard oh my gosh it's the hardest thing I drink like sparkling juice now and water water can you believe that
Starting point is 00:29:03 I can't I mean I'm not sober but i do sometimes when i've had like a tough week where i'm like girl you're doing too much i'm like okay let me like sometimes i'll just stop drinking for a month and i'm like wow my skin's better. I wake up earlier. I'm a happier person. Maybe this is how I should live. And then I'm like, gotta be a little monster again. It's, yeah, sobriety I think is underrated.
Starting point is 00:29:43 It's honestly, this is what I always tell people. I used to be a drunk mess and now I'm just a sober mess. I'm still a mess. I'm just a sober mess. You know, it's just easier for me to work through my problems this way than it used to be for me over there. It's for me, it's rather interesting. People ask me a lot if I'm drunk when I'm fully sober. And I'm like oh no but i have like adhd and i like found an article i think i might have mentioned it before on this
Starting point is 00:30:13 i don't know but i found an article that said people with adhd like drinking because it is like a downer but it kind of like helps your brain But then everyone else is drunk as being impulsive the way you are normally. So you feel like included in the group because people are acting the way you act when you're sober. Wait, how do I find out if I have ADHD? I don't know. But think about it. I like really thought about it. And I was like, oh oh yeah, drunk people will talk
Starting point is 00:30:46 in non sequiturs. Drunk people will forget that you're talking to them and start talking to somebody else. I was like, oh, that's just me normally. Because that's me too. You might have ADHD. I talked to a psychiatrist
Starting point is 00:31:02 and it wasn't like an official test or anything. she let me talk uninterrupted for 10 minutes and she said it's bad she's my baby you talked about 5 million things it's not good friend but yeah I started taking medicine
Starting point is 00:31:18 and it changed my life I'm on Vyvanse it's time released you cannot abuse it cause I was like I like cocaine she was like what do you like it. I was like, I like cocaine. She was like, what do you like about it? I was like, you have fun conversations, have a glass of wine, clean your apartment. She was like, what? I was that girl too.
Starting point is 00:31:34 That's why the drinking for me was like, yeah. That was like the swear to God. Am I going to do cocaine or am I not going to drink tonight like it was literally that for me yeah and i think honestly like i don't know how we do this so i've been watching these youtube videos it's called like the soft white underbelly it's a man who interviews people on
Starting point is 00:32:00 skid row and he talks to them like human beings like even people who are like maybe in like a psychosis he like tries to talk to him or whatever and i was like why we need to like de-stigmatize drug use like there's a reason why people use so like why can't you figure it out as opposed to what it is right well we just it's i? If all of us had the mental health care and there was not a stigma to the idea of talking about resentments or pain from the past or trying to move forward, then I think a lot of people out there wouldn't be numbing so much. Of course, there's a chemical dependence, but there's also that relationship that it's an emotional relationship with this thing that isn't speaking to you it's just stuff that you're uh using to get by to feel okay yeah and i'm like and there is a chemical dependence but there are people in this world who can use all sorts of drugs and not become chemically dependent on them.
Starting point is 00:33:06 So I'm like, well, if that happens, then there must be something different in the brain. Why aren't we studying that? Like, Viagra exists, but we can't figure out how to stop drug use. Or not even stop, but like figure out safe, what is it, reduced harm things. Yeah, yeah. It's very interesting to me, Jujubee. I think you and I should start a coalition for this.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Let's do it. Let's start a coalition and be like, hey friends, let's get healthy. Real quick, Jujubeeube we have to take a break beep bop boop bop beep we're back okay jujube are you dating are you married do you care to say um you know what i am i'm all i'm to say about that is I am dating. Okay. I love it. Okay. You don't even have to talk about current dating. Let's go in the past dating a little bit. So after Drag Race came out, were you on apps or anything? And did you find that dating became more difficult because you were a celebrity? Well, here is the funny story.
Starting point is 00:34:30 During Drag Race and for about 13 years, actually, I was with one person. And we were together for that long and then we were going to get married and it didn't work out. And I broke it off when I was 33 and I'm 38 now. So it's been five years of me being single. So in that singleness, I finally got to download the apps. Because I didn't have that when we first started dating. It was so long. And I got to tell you, And I got to tell you, that part of it was really hard. Because I'm not one to post photos of myself shirtless or and you know like here's my credit score like what like what do we need here um so that was pretty interesting and it made me feel old yeah yeah the apps are a thing where it's funny i just read a thing and by read she skimmed it that was like they they claim the apps are designed to like
Starting point is 00:35:48 be deleted you're supposed to like meet people but then i learned on a lot of the apps they have a lot of like bots or like people who work there who will just like respond to you to like keep you coming back from the app so for like every three real people there's like and like a person who works at tinder or whatever and i was like this is devastating oh my gosh well it's a business because you have to pay for different tiers so it's like well if you find somebody we lose that business yeah yeah that's true It's so fucked up. Oh, but then that's when they can come to me and I'll find them a date.
Starting point is 00:36:31 That's what I mean. But I will say this. I have had luck on the apps. Have you had any luck? So my current partner I met on an app and I saw them for a while and I didn't do any swiping. I just was like, I really want to hang out with them, but I'm just afraid.
Starting point is 00:36:53 I'm scared. And I finally did it and we matched and it wasn't the free version because we both swiped. So I got them. Oh, okay. So I got them. Dating is such like a conundrum, me thinks. Yeah, yeah, it is. Even without the pressure of like being on television or being a person that people know,
Starting point is 00:37:24 it's like, all right, I have to lock up the library, swipe on the app and maybe go out with someone who's terrible and go back to my job. Yeah, it's kind of depressing. Yeah, and it's a lot of like, if you have one of the apps, you already know who everybody is. Because everybody's on every app, right? And it's the same thing. Maybe some apps would appear a little bit different from other apps where they look a little bit more professional or more at home. But it is a lot of the same things. It is. It is a lot of the same things.
Starting point is 00:38:00 And I don't know. I'm at the point right now where I'm like, maybe I just work a lot. Like, I don't want to be here. I don't want to be swiping. That's real tea. I, the relationship I'm in now is so casual. You know, I'm in, he's in New York. I'm in Boston.
Starting point is 00:38:19 It's, we don't see each other all like much, you know, it's very casual. So it's very different from the super serious relationship before. And I, I think that's an interesting thing, at least in dating life is you get to kind of feel out the different types of human interactions you get. Yeah. The older I get, the more I'm like, oh yeah, maybe I don't need someone in my house. Maybe it'd be nice to
Starting point is 00:38:45 you have yours I have mine we see each other when we see each other and we have our own lives we'll book a trip you know what I mean I'll meet you in I would say Hawaii but they keep saying please don't come here
Starting point is 00:39:00 I'll meet you in Bali I don't know where Bali is I think that's really far i would say like i would say like portland maine okay yeah portland maine that works wait did we take a break already did i do that we took a break yeah okay god i'm losing my mind i guess okay let's take a break now that we've talked about taking a break okay we're back i truly act like sometimes i have never hosted a podcast in my whole fucking life okay jujubee yes you worked as a professional makeup artist For MAC Cosmetics
Starting point is 00:39:48 I did I sold lipstick I just did it for three years I truly thought you were going to say I just quit And I was like girl I've been in downtown crossing this whole time At the Macy's
Starting point is 00:40:02 That's where I worked And let me tell you Working customer service is one of the hardest jobs because you get yelled at by people who are taking their anger out on you when you're just trying to wipe down a lipstick. Yeah, you're like, I'm sorry. Ruby Woo is all sold out. They're like, how dare you? You're like, I don't know. What do you want me you you're like i don't know what i know what you want me to make it i don't we just we don't have it i'm like you know what i do here is i just scan it i'm like i don't care yeah that's oh i worked retail for so long and i truly learned i was like
Starting point is 00:40:43 i don't actually have to help people I get paid regardless if you get the pants that you want so the minute someone was mean to me they're like I need this in a different size and I'd be like and I need to sit on my phone in the back while I pretend to look for it you have to do that because they have to see you walk back there and then you
Starting point is 00:41:01 you know watch a music video and then go back and say oh i looked everywhere and then they're like thank you so much for looking sometimes i'll even go a step further and watch two music videos and if i see their size i'll bring up the one that's smaller and the one that's bigger and i'll go this is the only one i found be nice to the people in the store because they'll actually help you if you're nice to them just be nice it's taught me to be really really aware and really kind to people who work at stores because i couldn't do it now oh my gosh i couldn't do it now no i yeah i just i, I would lose my mind dealing with people.
Starting point is 00:41:46 And then you keep seeing these videos of people brawling and like Bed Bath & Beyond. Oh, baby. The Bath & Body Works. And I'm like, yeah, we don't, they don't get paid enough. I am flight or flight. So I won't just fly. My name is airline. I will leave.
Starting point is 00:42:04 I'm going to the sky. My name is airline i will leave i'm going to the sky my name is airline goodbye oh that's so fucking funny um here's a question what's up you have two cats oh my gosh mr and priss i'm sorry no i love it um have you are. Have you always been a cat person? I didn't know that I was a cat person until Mister came into my life. And from that moment, I knew that it's so weird because I was never an animal person. But Mister has not only turned me into a cat person, he's turned me into an animal person. Where I'm like, like come here little squirrel you know like come on i'm the same way like i'm like i am the same way so i got a dog because i had the flu and this is like seven or eight years ago and i was like i
Starting point is 00:43:00 need somebody to love me so i went and adopted a dog and I love Clyde he loves me it's very funny he like I'm so loud he doesn't flinch when I scream if someone ever tries to kill me he's gonna be like wow she's like role playing now I don't know but like I just love animals I'll see a
Starting point is 00:43:20 lizard outside and be like do you want to come home with me yeah yes I will save a termite well no i'm gonna take that back yeah well in my house if i see a very small spider or like a moth i'll just let it live yeah because i was like well i didn't see you before you were probably here the whole time so like you can live like giant spiders though like they god bless i'm so sorry you have to leave but yeah you'll put a cup over them though and a piece of paper and put them
Starting point is 00:43:51 outside sure i won't i can't i can't with a spider i'll vac them i vacuum them up because i i big spiders really scare me big spiders and cockroaches are the only two things that can't live okay that's fair that's fair anything else daddy long legs you can stay that's fine you're cute what long legs you have how silly and your name's daddy hey daddy daddy i can't kill daddy i love daddy so wait how long have you had your two cats mister is 15 and chris is 13 and they have no idea that they're geriatric cats
Starting point is 00:44:33 that's what they're called I think that's what yeah I think they're at that age now they're above senior I think according to the internets. I could be wrong. But they don't know.
Starting point is 00:44:51 They have the zoomies at three in the morning. Yeah. Yeah. I love my babies. Yeah. Clyde's getting up there a little bit. His teeth are getting terrible. His breath smells so bad.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Yeah. We'll be cuddling, and I'm like, dude. Oh, but I love you so much. I know. I know. I'm like, it's okay. You can do whatever you want. Do whatever you want.
Starting point is 00:45:17 I, yeah. It's like, whatever. You run the world. Wait, so wait. You were also on Dragnificent. That was on TLC, right? That was on TLC, yeah. Well, Bibi Zaharab you were also on Dragnificent. That was on TLC, right? That was on TLC, yeah. Bebe Zaharab and I also watched Dragnificent.
Starting point is 00:45:29 She said something that I cannot remember that was so funny. It was about lighting. Lanterns. Lanterns in the woods. Yes. She's like, lanterns are for looking for beasts in the woods. Or beasts in the forest. Lanterns.
Starting point is 00:45:48 It made me laugh so hard. She's so funny. She's one of the funniest people and Bebe Zaharboné is always like that. Really? Yes, she is the most loving and
Starting point is 00:46:03 it's literally the Bebe energy. And when she enters a room, it's like she walks in and she has this invisible cloak that walks in 20 feet after her. It's very that. I love that. That first season of Drag Race was so fun for me. I would like to see Rebecca Glasscock on a a season of all stars but i think they have stopped performing i which is i think so too a tragedy to me yeah i enjoyed them me too also you're on queen of the universe were you saying i sang for 20 seconds i was one of the first that's fine. I sang for 20 seconds.
Starting point is 00:46:51 And I will say that I am the pork chop of Queen of the Universe. And I'm very proud of it. The first to go home. The first to go home. Yeah. They cut six of us. And I was the first to walk off stage. And I stood there and I looked over to Betty Bitchslap, who was to my right, and I was trying to ESP to her, go first, because I didn't want to walk down first. That is so funny.
Starting point is 00:47:17 I probably would just turn to me like, you got to walk out first. I can't do it. Go ahead. Get out of here. We want the prettiest girl to go first. You go ahead, sweetheart. It's a good way to trick someone. Yeah, no, it was fun.
Starting point is 00:47:30 It was. Yeah, it was fun. I got to sing. I always have a fear of singing in front of people but it was an experience that I needed to do for myself to just kind of open up my own mind of my abilities. And sure, I would have loved to do for myself to just kind of open up my my own mind of my abilities and sure i would
Starting point is 00:47:47 have loved to do better but you can't get third place in all the competitions you do nicole i mean third place is just as good i love it oh i'm making it to the top three yeah the journey is for it's the journey for me. I enjoy every moment. Okay, here's a question. UK versus the world. Was that shot here or in the UK? In Manchester. Oh, how fun.
Starting point is 00:48:15 Yeah. For whatever reason, I thought they would have shot it here. Really? But I guess it was more UK girls. Yeah. Meh. Yeah, it was. And it was more UK girls. Yeah. Meh. Yeah, it was.
Starting point is 00:48:27 And it was cool. I mean, that was very interesting because I think peak jujube, like, for everybody out there, like, you know, who watches Drag Race, All-Stars 5 is peak jujube. Because UK versus the world, she was in her head. Oh, my God. And that was about, I i think eight months to a year after the pandemic like the shutdown so my brain was like do i do this again yeah i i need to do this so i can leave my house so i can see people like i showed up i was like i'm gonna show up just so i can see people i miss people like i won't prep a thing. I'll wear whatever falls in my suitcase.
Starting point is 00:49:07 I'm just happy to be here and see a person. Yeah, I mean, I had one designer who stuck around the whole time, thank goodness. But everything was rushed by the end, you know? Because during that time, I think the Grammys was going on and
Starting point is 00:49:23 a lot of the designers were getting offers from huge names to get things made for these award shows that have now been digitized instead of live audiences. So I was like, I just need things. I just need something just to dress. Can you make me something with dots on it, please? That is funny because it's also like specific things i need to be dots i need i need to be a plate of spaghetti please um will you tell me about your podcast queen of hearts queen of hearts oh my gosh okay so we're we did season one and i feel like season one of Queen of Hearts was like the good juju season because I kind of sent a lot of couples out on dates, even if like maybe they didn't deserve it. I just wanted love to be around and it wasn't my money.
Starting point is 00:50:22 but this time around I feel like I'm dare I say I'm a little bit bitchier and I think there's an expectation now because sometimes the daters show up like ready to play these games and they're ready to find a partner in crime
Starting point is 00:50:38 and then some of them don't so I'm there to either tell them to scoot scoot or to just shine. Because a lot of times these dates, if you go in thinking it's going to be super serious, then you've already lost. Like you're just supposed to have fun. And if I think it's going to work out, then I'll pay for your date. But yeah, I'm also kind of cheap though.
Starting point is 00:51:05 So I'll pay for your date, but you can'm also kind of cheap, though. You know, so we have one. So I'll pay for your date, but you can only go to the Cheesecake Factory. And you can only order the small plates. So basically, there's one. So basically, let's say you were a contestant, right? Okay. So you're the contestant. We find
Starting point is 00:51:21 three people that would be great daters for you. Before we even move on to the first round, you'll hear three sound bites or stories from each person. You don't get to talk to all three of them because you have to send one back. Okay. Just from hearing about them, I see their pictures and I describe them to you, you know, and I help you kind of figure out and I guide. And then we move on to the next part.
Starting point is 00:51:51 We play games. It's a whole bunch of games. It's a lot of relaxing games. Like there's a game. One of my favorites is the Bone Zone. It's a sex quiz. You know, we give them these quizzes where they answer a whole bunch of really private questions.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Like what? What's an example of the bone zone quiz? The bone zone. Like if somebody has like a kink, like on Queen of Hearts, I heard of this kink and it's called a praise kink. Never heard of it. Have you heard of that?
Starting point is 00:52:17 A praise kink? A praise kink is a kink where you want your partner to tell you how great you are, how beautiful, how sexy, how magical you are. And I was like, doesn't everybody have that? Yeah. I have that. I have that too.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Yeah, I've dated people where I'm like, can you just like tell me that like I'm really pretty today because I need it? Yeah. I'm like that too. I'm like, I mean, I do it to myself, but it would be really nice to have somebody else to be like. So there's that. And then there's Juju's Book Club where we write our erotic stories. We start with a sentence and we go around. And I think these games, they're super silly, but it helps kind of relax everyone.
Starting point is 00:53:01 I like that. That's fun. And they don't see each other. They don't see each other at all. Until when? Until it's just one-on-one. Okay. And this season, the cameras came on and the reaction was, oh. And there was no way, girl, let me tell you, there was no way for me to even hide.
Starting point is 00:53:25 I had to mute myself because I just screamed. Oh, my God. I know. That's okay. That is one of my issues with just like online dating in general. Because if you talk to someone enough, you vibe with them. And then you create something that may or may not be true yeah and then when you see them you're like oh no yeah but you know what i thought it was
Starting point is 00:53:53 gonna be a no and then we send them off to seven minutes in heaven they come back and she wanted it and i was like well that was really confusing that is confusing to be like well okay it's like the meme of the kombucha lady meme where it's like yes yes
Starting point is 00:54:16 also something really crazy this season we have a woman named Chelsea who is a breakup coach okay and i help her find love and it is out of this world there's an alpha male named sergio wait until you hear Sergio. Also, what a fabulous name. Ming, I'm Sergio. Oh, this I love. That sounds so exciting. Thank you. I mean, season two comes out on October 11th and you can listen to it everywhere, like right here where we're listening now. Yeah, anywhere. Anywhere you can listen, you can listen.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Real quick, I just want to talk about To Feng Wu. Because you said that was a pivotal piece of entertainment in your development. Oh, yes. Can you tell me a little bit about that? Yes. So, you know, the movie To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. I actually, the first time I ever saw the movie, I was really uncomfortable. I didn't know what drag was. But it made me alert and I questioned the idea of the art. And years
Starting point is 00:55:33 later, I went to UMass Amherst for theater and I lived on the 2 and 20 floor. It was LGBTQIA floor. So I felt like so comfortable. And we watched the movie every single night for two semesters. It was like, it was, it was all the queer kids just like spending time together and literally just watching the movie. And it, it was like that.
Starting point is 00:55:57 And it was cool. I love that so much. I can't remember when I found To Wong Fu, but I remember watching it because I loved Patrick Swayze in Ghost. And then I was like, well, Patrick in a dress, I don't know. But then I was like, oh, no, Patrick in a dress, I do know. And I just, like, loved the movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:19 And it's, like, campy, but then, like, heartfelt. Yes. Yeah. And they were so good. It's it's funny because like i think drag has fully influenced my femininity which is so interesting because like when i started doing makeup i was like well i have to wear big lashes and then i was like well i have to figure out how to contour and it was just a lot of like trial and error to emulate these drag queens like i used to go to barracuda all the time in new york and see bob the drag queen before bob became bob and i just loved bob the drag queen i was like my oh my goodness it's like gigantic dark-skinned
Starting point is 00:56:57 queen who's so funny and so fabulous that's what i want to be. Yes. Yeah. I think drag is really special. Drag is for everybody. It is. It is, Jordan. For everybody. Where's your favorite place to perform? My favorite place to perform? Mm-hmm. City.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Oh, city. Yeah. Huh. You know, can I say Boston? is that like me cheating i love boston because i do and because a boston audience is always going to tell you if you're great or if you're not but they'll say it in the most kind way very kind way uh there's a theater there called the wilbur and that's the first theater i ever sold out so it has like it's near and dear to my heart right around the corner from where I live fucking really yes oh I love the Wilbur any I anytime I've done a show my own show other people shows the audiences are always so fucking good so there was one show I did where a woman puked in the balcony and I was like yeah Boston fucking goes hard I love Boston
Starting point is 00:58:05 did it hit anybody? I don't know there was like a slight pandemonium and then we couldn't figure it out until after someone told us I remember it was during the show I can't remember but I was like I love Boston you're like what's the smell
Starting point is 00:58:21 it's Boston I love it. I have another question. What's up? Do you ever run into, I think Bendel the Krem coined this phrase for me, for comedians, they're called chuckle fuckers. Do you ever run into clown chasers? Yes. And it's really interesting.
Starting point is 00:58:49 And actually later on in the drag, I've gotten wives come through meet and greets and tell me about their husbands and say really naughty things. And they'll point at their husbands. Yeah, it's really... And I'm like, it's so nice to meet you. Let's take a picture. I don't want to know about your husband's penis though that's really wild yeah i think people are very repressed in a way where when they see something that opens their
Starting point is 00:59:16 eyes a little bit they're like well gotta tell this drag queen about my husband's dick and it's nice and i like it this drag queen will love it uh yeah i think people just start losing their minds a little oh absolutely they and they say whatever they want to say all the time like it if you're in drag they almost don't see that you're a human because you're like a character and they they you all their secrets. And I think that's drag magic. It's magic. I do think it's drag magic. Okay, Jujubee.
Starting point is 00:59:50 Yes. We have come to the end. I could talk to you forever. You're delightful. I think so, too. I need you to come on Queen of Hearts, first of all, when you're ready to date. I would love to. I think that would be very fun to go on a blind date with somebody.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Okay, Jujubee, do you have anything that you would like to promote? Honestly, Queen of Hearts is something that I've worked on. It's huge for me, but I'm also going on tour with Peppermint. We're doing a live music tour. You can get all the information on Peppermint's website. Why not yours? Because this is Peppermint's baby and I was like, I want to do this with you.
Starting point is 01:00:31 Oh, okay. It's this nice collaborative thing where it's going to be two people who love music, who are just out there with the live band and we're singing music that we wrote ourselves and it's going to be chill, it's going to music that we wrote ourselves and it's going to be chill. It's going to be R&B and it's going to be
Starting point is 01:00:48 all about love. It's going to be so good. I like that. That's going to be fun. What's Peppermint's website? Peppermint's website is, I think it's I don't want a single person to come see this. Hold on. I'll look it up. I'm looking it up right now peppermint
Starting point is 01:01:10 it is uh you can get tickets at peppermintonline.com okay perfect you'll love to see it okay jujubee thank you so much for doing this thank you thank you so much for doing this. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm going to rehearsal now for Drag Now Musical. I love it. Well, wait for me to finish the episode, and then you can fucking go. You're good. No, you're good.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Okay, if you like this episode, you can like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe. Give me five stars on iTunes or Apple Podcasts, whatever the fuck it is. And then if you want to write me a nasty little message hitting on me, it would be a dream. I would love it. You'll send it to whywon'tyoudatemepodcast at gmail.com.
Starting point is 01:01:52 Mars, my producer, reads it. Please don't send her dick pics. She don't want them. Okay. This person said, best pickup line you will read today. Let's bump tacos. It's short. It's to the point. Okay. bump tacos. It's short. It's to the point. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Thank you. Bye-bye. That's it for Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Byer. Why Won't You Date Me is produced and engineered by oh, the sweetest woman I know, Marissa Melnick.
Starting point is 01:02:21 It is executive produced by other wonderful people, Adam Sachs, Joanna Solotaroff, and Jeff Ross. Thanks for listening. I love you. Thank you so much. We'll be seeing you next Friday with a brand new episode. What a dream.
Starting point is 01:02:35 What a dream. Ha ha ha. This has been a Team Coco production.

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