Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Reading Nicole's Fortune (w/ Witch Sutton Crawford)

Episode Date: November 10, 2023

Ever wonder what it's like to have your tarot cards read? Witch and intuitionist Sutton Crawford gives Nicole an on-air reading regarding her love life. Sutton shares her journey to recognizing her own intuitive gifts, and chats about the mystical effects of eclipses and the cosmic influences you might be feeling. Plus, she shares a chilling ghost story and teaches how to set firm boundaries with the spirit world to keep those unwanted ghostly visitors at bay.  Meanwhile, Nicole opens up about establishing new boundaries on dating apps. Write something dirty to Nicole! Submit it to [e-mail] for a chance to have it read on air. Follow Nicole Byer: See Nicole on tour! Get tickets at linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Ooh, baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I'm still single. But guess what? I don't know. My guest today is a professional, intuitive tarot reader, witch, and practical practitioner. She's going to give me a reading today, and maybe she'll know when love is coming for me.

I mean, one can only hope. It's Sudden Crawford. Hi, how are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm really good. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for doing this. So tell me when you knew you were intuitive. Oh God, since I've been little, I was a little kid when i knew i was intuitive i think everybody has a level of intuition and whether they listen to it or not you know what i mean oh absolutely i always get like gut feelings and 99 time 99 time 99 99 of the time i am correct

oh yeah your gut won't steer you wrong for the most part. Can you tell me about a field trip that you went to with your school where you saw a fortune teller? Yes. We went to a metaphysical store, and the person was an intuitive or a psychic, and they didn't really say. And they kind of grabbed my hand, and they were like, you have the gift. And that always kind of stuck with me. Oh, my God. I feel like that's like the beginning of a movie or something. Oh, totally. It's like you have the gift. And then it's like, oh, no. And then everything starts shaking. And

then the adventure begins. 20 years later. So you had a permanent residency as a tarot card reader. What is is that like a nine to five? Oh, no, no, no, no. It's it's still freelance. So like somebody will book me and then I come in. But it's it's nice to be in a location versus doing it at home. So now I just currently do it from home. Oh, OK. Yeah. Now, what? OK, so you're married. I am. And how did you did you know your husband was coming? No, God, no. But I definitely knew he was the guy when I met him. What was it your intuition? Or was it other things that I bet it was a combo. It was like a combo of the of the love feelings and the vagina feelings and the head feelings and the heart feelings. It was all the feelings.

Okay, what is also like, okay, what are the dumbest questions that people ask about you being an intuitive or tarot card reader? to read for are skeptics generally. Those are always the most fun, but they can ask some pretty silly questions, you know, and most people are really respectful about it. But you know, I get dumb questions about like, why do you believe this? Or this is clearly not real. So what are you even doing with your life? That's very, very funny. So how did you you met your husband doing a a production of Romeo and Juliet yes I mean I know gag gross how fucking like perfect well and it was funny because I was with somebody else um who was not a very nice person my gut was not steering me no my gut knew that he was not a very nice person and that he was not not the guy. But I was young, he had money. I was like, Oh, this is what love is. It's like mutual respect and vacations. And then my husband walked in to audition, because I was already cast as Juliet. And we read the balcony scene and we both cried and he walked out of the room and I was like that's the guy that's the guy right there to play Romeo not the guy I was gonna marry

and then you know we were really good for like two weeks in rehearsals but we were just obsessed with each other and then we we just it all fell apart we totally hooked up. And then my current ex came and saw the show and was like, what the fuck is going on here? Oh, my God. That's like literally the plot of Moulin Rouge, where that man comes and he's like, what is this? I don't want to invest money. You're in love. Exactly. And I always say he was like, if knows romeo juliet he's like the paris of the story like the bad one that she doesn't want to marry and that was who he was and he just he cheated on us being uh together before i told him oh how wild i absolutely fucking love that can you tell me about the ghost of the man in a top hat

yes i can my assistant does very very thorough research very thorough research i i actually talked about it on another podcast i was on yet there we used to live in astoria new york and um i just always felt this person sitting on the couch. You'd go to the refrigerator and it was behind you. The couch was in the living room. And I just always felt this person sitting on the couch in the middle of the night. And then there was this one day where my roommate was like, oh, yeah, you mean the guy in the top hat? And I was like, yes, the guy in the top hat.

Like, what is he doing there why won't he go away like and he was very non-confrontational he was he was a chill ghost but it was just very clearly there out of the corner of your eye and all of those things and your roommate saw it as well absolutely and so did her uh husband actually my God. I've seen ghosts in my old apartment, but my roommate never saw the ghost. Well, I have a I have a very, like, strong feeling that there are people who want to see them and there are people who do not want to see them and the people who do not want to see them or don't believe in it right uh generally don't and i i tried to put up a very clear boundary with uh spirits in general to be like hey i really don't want to see you unless i invite you in like if i'm asking to speak to you or see you then that's fine but like don't be tapping me on the shoulder while i'm like cooking dinner like don't do that

that's interesting because i had a friend who was like yeah you just have to tell them no thank you totally I don't want this please go away it's like any relationship it's like any relationship I don't want to see you anymore I'm breaking up with you please don't tap me on the shoulder exactly well let's get into it do you have your tarot cards? I do have my tarot cards. Of course I do. Okay, let's do a reading. Let's do a reading. Well, this is usually the moment where I would say, is there anything in particular you want to talk about? But I mean, let's get real. I'm constantly trying to figure out when love is coming for me. So truly, I would like to know about my love life. Okay, I'll take that.

So I'm using just a standard 78-card tarot deck. It's just that I like the more modern ones. I like that they're a little bit different. So, you know, there's a classic. Oh, really? Yes. Yes. They said yes.

Sorry. Who? Who? Who? Who said yes? My gut said yes sorry um who who who said yes my gut said yes i don't know source said yes okay great i love it i would be so upset if it was like no no no stop don't you can't tell her shit she can't know okay so uh nicole what you get here is you get a major arcana card, a minor arcana card, and a port card. And I'll just explain that very briefly. Major arcana cards are like the organs of the story of your life, right? The big stuff.

And the minor arcana card is the day-to-day stuff that kind of gets you to the big sweeping themes of the story of your life. That is the major arcana card. And then a port card is just like in a deck of cards, page, knight, queen, king. And these are usually an aspect of your personality or somebody else's personality. And they all kind of have a prescription, right? Like if it doesn't sound like you or someone you know, you're like, oh, is this helpful? Is this useful? How do I balance that? How is this detrimental? And then I want to start with your court card. Okay, because it could be an aspect of your personality. Now I do have to admit, I listened to one of your shows and you did say that you consider yourself a bit of a people pleaser. Oh, I am fully a people pleaser. And I am in the midst

of learning how to like, in the moment, if I feel a little grumpy, but I'm out with friends to be like, hey, in the moment, I'm feeling just a little grumpy. And the first time I did it, I was in Vegas and it was so hot. And I said it and all my friends were like, oh, OK. And I was like, well, this is liberating. I no longer have to smile. I can just be hot and sweaty and upset for a little bit till we find air conditioning. So I'm really trying to inject that into my life. Yeah. No, it's amazing. But you're wild, too. Wouldn't you say that you're a wild person? I do. Yeah. I mean, I do like to have fun.

Yeah, I mean, I do like to have fun. I will make a decision truly right in the moment. And usually it's a choice that other people wouldn't make for themselves. But yeah, I do think I have like a rather free spirit, even though I do love a routine. Okay, okay. But you're not somebody who's gonna be like put in a box, I would say, like are controlled. No, no, no, no, no. I don't like that. No, nobody does. Okay. So I mean, some people do, but it's not my vibe. Okay. So what we get here is we get the Queen of Cups or the Mother of Cups. Now this is your court card. In every deck, they're all kind of artistically represented different, but they're always going to be the same kind of idea. And this court card means are the interpersonal relationship members of the court, right? And cups are about love, and emotions, and intuition and creativity. Now, the Queen of Cups is, I would consider them a

people pleaser, but it comes from a very specific place, right? Somebody said it to me the other day in a session, I was reading for somebody and they said, I would light myself on fire to keep you warm is the phrase that the Queen of Cups uses. So I'm not saying that you necessarily identify with this person, but they fill other people's cups before they fill their own, right? They're constantly trying to take care of everybody else's emotions. They're constantly trying to take care of everybody else before they take care of themselves. They're very sensitive. They're very intuitive people. But that's the thing is that they will like try and fill from an empty cup because they want to take care of people. Like that's their main goal is to take care of people before they take care of themselves.

Does that sound like anybody to you? It sounds like me. I mean, it's, it's, yeah, they're definitely a people pleaser, but it comes from a really genuine, loving place. And that's what I really like about the Queen of Cups. It's just that they need a reminder that it's like, how are you going to fill from an empty cup? Like you have to take care of yourself. Right. So this like I need air conditioning moments or right. It's like, yeah, previously you would have just walked in the thousand degree heat forever and just been like, I'm fine. Yeah. With a smile on my face being like, I'm OK. Yeah. But yeah, I'm trying really hard to just be like, no, I don't feel fine. And I don't want to make everyone happy right now. Yeah.

Which is a really hard thing because you feel like you're letting people down. And for I just yeah, there's something in me where I'm like, I just don't want to let people down. Yeah. Well, you want you want everybody else to be happy. Yes. Because when other people are happy, then you can be happy and everybody's happy and everything's nice and good. Exactly. And yet we find, you know, sometimes you're exhausted or hot and you want to go inside. And it's like the honesty thing ends up being more helpful to a queen of cups.

Right. How do I fill my own cup before I attempt to fill other people's cups? when you look at this from a love aspect, honesty, although scary, because you're worried about what somebody might feel about you not taking care of them before you take care of yourself is helpful, right? It's helpful to be honest and fill your own cup so that you can attempt to show up better for yourself and for everybody, right? Okay. So we get the queen of cups there. Your major arcana card, right? This like big sweeping theme of the story of your life is the moon. And it's absolutely one of my favorite cards

in the whole deck. The imagery is always a moon, but there's wolves in it. And you see there's a white wolf and a black wolf and they're not mirror images of each other, right? They're two different wolves. This is a very complicated card, but the one thing I want to say about this is the idea of not being put in a box and not being controlled. And when I say wild, it's like wild, intuitive,

divine, feminine, right? Where it's like, I am this wolf inside and I'm not going to let anybody control me. And it's moments where you are like, on vacation, you're like, oh, I should go skinny dipping and I don't know why and I'm going to go skinny dipping, right? The moon kind of talks to us in that way, but it is very much about kind of the mysterious darkness and wild intuition that we have inside of ourselves, right? I mean, I want to talk to you about that, right? Because again, this idea of not letting somebody else control you or not letting somebody else judge you, right? Because the biggest thing with the moon is I am going to listen to that part of myself and I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks about it, right? And I'm certainly not going to judge myself when I say I'm going to

go skinny dipping or I'm going to do whatever it is. Right. So it is a con it's a contradictory two cards to have. Right. Because the queen of cups is like, I got to take care of everybody else. And the moon is like, fuck it. I'm going to do what I want because my gut is telling me to do it so talk to me about that I mean I mean I do like to make sure everybody is happy but I also do like to be like let's do this like I guess the best example is like my best friend Sashir doesn't she's not a water baby I'm a water baby I love water. And we were in Hawaii, I think. And there was a water slide. And I was like, come on, I know we're adults. But like, I think a water slide will be really fun in this moment. And she was like, I don't know. And I was like, please, come on, you'll watch me go down. I'll be fun. And then she did go down.

I think she went down twice. I think I went down three times. And then she was like, thank you for pushing me to do it. It was very fun. And then I was like, okay, now we're going to walk through a waterfall. It was just like a waterfall in the pool. And she was like, that I actually really don't think I'll have fun with. And I was like, but you had fun on the water slide.

And then we walked through the waterfall. She was like, I hated that. And I was like, I know it was bad. But you did it. But you did it but you did yeah and um like we were in Bahamas and we're like we we like a lot of the same things but I do push her for like more of adventure things like I don't think she'd been on a jet ski before I was like let's get on a jet ski um and then I had never had a massage because I don't think she'd been on a jet ski before I was like let's get on a jet ski um and then I had never had a massage because I don't really love people I don't love touch I don't that's not my

love language uh-huh um so like she got me into massages and it it helped me allow people to touch me and that was like a not a boundary it was just like a wall I had up that she helped me you know pull down a little so yeah like I kind of push her to have fun in ways that she doesn't think she will have fun do you judge yourself in those moments ever what do you mean when I'm like let's go on an adventure yeah like are you like oh god maybe I'm pushing her too much or are you like no let's do this yeah no because I'm like she'll have fun like there is very rarely I actually I don't even think there's ever been a time where she was like that wasn't for me and I actually really hated it and I don't ever want to do that again like usually it's like we had a lot of fun and then

I'll just like make up stories sometimes when we go to restaurants and she'll just jump on board and so yeah like I I'll on on a whim I'll do something and she'll be like, yes. And I have other friends like that where I'm like, let's go to Vegas this weekend. I figured out how to get us free rooms and they'll be like, oh, okay. And I'll be like, and we'll do this and I'll figure out this and I'll figure out this. I'm terrible at planning, but I'm very good at like corralling a group of people to do something fun. If somebody else wants to like take care of like the actual, I'm good at broad pictures.

I'm not good at details. Sure. I mean, I love it. Do you, because this is so much about the moon is among other things, showing up authentically, right? How you can show up authentically, even if it's the dark, the dark wolf in there, the darkness inside of us, the inside of us the the all those dark things inside uh you know not wanting to walk in a thousand degree heat not go back into um the air conditioning those parts of ourselves do you find that it is harder to do

that in relationships oh absolutely because i i really have only dated people who I don't think genuinely like me. I think they get sick of me real fast, which is fine. I'm, I am a lot and I know that. But the last relationship I was in, I did find it a little hard to be spontaneous or to like do stuff with them because I was like, I don't know if they want to do it. I don't want to like overstep. It was like one of those things where it's like, do you want to go to do you want to go eat? And I'd be like, yeah, what do you want to go eat? Or do you want to stay inside? And I'd be like, well, I guess if you want to stay inside. But like in my heart of hearts, I'd be like, I would like to stay inside. I'm actually very tired yes if you wanna if we want to go out later this week let's

plan it but I never said those words out loud I would just like do things that I thought that they would want to do yeah it's because the queen of cups is in there being like I'll just fill your cup yes and then that'll be better. And it's like these moments where you're like, I see myself on these vacations, I see myself with these friendships, I see how much people adore me when I'm this wild thing that is the moon. And how do I then apply that to relationships? And frankly, you don't want to be in a relationship where somebody doesn't love that wild, crazy part of you, right? So it's like, they're not even worth your time. But it's this very interesting thing where it's like, it's so easy to apply that in my friendships or at work, for example,

but it is way harder to do it in a relationship. Yeah, I think it's because I know that my friendships aren't going away. I have like a solid group of people in my life that are like some of the most amazing, caring, giving, beautiful people that I know. And I know they're not going anywhere. And I know they accept me for who I am because we've all been friends for so long. Even new friends, like I've made a new friend this year and I love her so much. And I know she's not going to go anywhere and I know she's going to be in my life for a while. But with like a partner, I'm like, well, this I'm a I'm a very anxious attacher, according to Instagram, my therapist and a book I have started. So I am not anxious in relation or in friendships, but in relationships, I'm like, this person might

go away, whether I like actually like them or not. That's the thing. Like, whether you actually like them or not, it's like, you need somebody who's gonna love that wild part of you that does not want to change you, that does not judge you. And that does not put you in the box, because you're a fun time, says the moon, right? Like, the moon right like i'm wild yeah great okay so then you're clearly a very busy person would you agree with that yes very very busy very very busy okay so you get queen of cups the moon and you got the seven of cups i do find it not surprising that we have all cups cards because again those are about relationships and love and intuition and creativity right so we pulled none of the other suits in the tarot just cups and we're in a love podcast so obviously

that's very on brand uh the seven of Cups is about having a lot going on. You're like, I always think of those people who are spinning all the plates, like on the Lawrence Welk show. And they're like running from the plate, running from the plate and trying to keep them all in the air. And the Seven of Cups is like,

hey, it's time to choose a cup, right? Focus on one thing at a time. Stop trying to do 10 million things at the same time. Because if you try to do 10 million things at the same time. Because if you try to do 10 million things at the same time, inevitably, either none of them get done or all the eggs get burned. You're cooking seven eggs. And it's interesting because I'm always like the seven of cups can change. It can be like, this is when I'm focusing on work, or this is when I'm focusing on myself,

or this is when I'm focusing on work, or this is when I'm focusing on myself, or this is when I'm focusing on friendships. But it's when you start to try and be an octopus to do all of those things at the same time that something suffers or whatever it may be. But it's, it's almost like I'm too busy to have a relationship. Anyway, I'm spinning so many plates that it's like, I got I got enough to do like, it's like that seven of cups moment where it's like, well, if this were the priority, then you take the cup, right? You go after it. And when it's not the priority, you take the other cup of, you know, taking care of yourself or taking care of your, your career or whatever it may be. But it is saying like, you got to focus on one thing at a time to, to get the thing that you really, really want. And it is, it's about focusing on

filling your own cup so that you know that the person who eventually comes isn't going to judge you and isn't going to leave because they think you're, and I'm putting this in quotes, too much, right? Like whatever that is. It's like, I fill my own cup so that I have somebody who knows how amazing and wild and fun and adventurous I really am. And I don't have to worry about that, right? I don't have to be concerned about the fact that they think XYZ about me, because I don't give a shit what they think about me, which I know you don't. But it's in the relationships, you're like, but why? Why care? Right? It it's like why care what they think about you yeah I think in like my heart of hearts I'm like yes the person should accept me or

whatever and I shouldn't care but I do I deeply care because I want you to like me because um I'm a nice person and please please please just like me And it's not like a desperate. It's just like a thing in me. Maybe it is desperation. I don't know. My mother used to say men can smell desperation from a mile away. And I'd be like, so I'm stinky. And does that mean they love me? No, it's not desperate. If it's the queen of cups at all, it's because your need to take care of other people trumps your need to take care of yourself sometimes. So it's not a desperate thing. It's more like, I'm here to take care of you and show up for you. And it's like, well, you got to fill your own cup too. You got to, you know what I mean? So that you come from a whole cup.

Yes. Fill it, fill it, fill it. Regular and leaded. Real quick, we have to take a break. And oh, we're back, son. Okay. So do you know when love is coming to me? Because that reading did resonate with me. I felt like it was pretty spot on when i pull my own cards i i pull a lot of cup cards um i personally don't know the the cards as well as you so i have like my little book where i read my little book and i'm also pretty good at reading cards for other people and it's really interesting whenever i read with whatever deck i read with whatever little uh uh thing that goes with it that explains the cards, it never tells anyone. I never tell anyone something they don't already know. Oh, absolutely. It's funny. I think that's why tarot cards are so

fascinating because really, to me, it's what it's doing is it's pulling out of your brain what it is you want to talk about. So, you know, people will be like, well, I knew all that. But thank you, because that was very transformative and amazing. But also, I knew that. And I'm like, I know you knew that you just needed an external, an external person to tell you the things that you already do. Yeah, I don't know if I've talked about on this podcast. But one of my favorite readings was a friend of mine who is just like an old friend from back home and is notoriously one of the most annoying people I've ever met in my whole life, but I love them. And they are always in people's business. And the cards were like, mind your own business. You start shit with people.

You need to just focus on yourself. And everyone who is in the living room with me was like, wow, that's him. That's him. He's got to stick to his own shit. And I was like, ah. So then I read everybody's cards and they were all like dead on just like, I love tarot. I have a deck. My favorite deck is, it's called a Dawn Aquarius deck. And when I bought it, I was like, do you have a Virgo deck? Do you have a Dawn Virgo deck? And they were like, what are you talking about? And I was like do you have a Virgo deck do you have a Don Virgo deck and they were like what are you talking about and I was like well this is Aquarius and like that's the artist's name and I was like I've never been more embarrassed um sorry and it's funny because I have two other decks that like don't speak to me the way that this one deck does oh totally yeah it's

really it's very in cards are interesting they are. They all have a kind of personality onto themselves. Wait, to go back to your question of when, right? Oh, yes. I do not believe that cards do that exactly, right? Because I believe that we all have free will. That's the biggest thing that I love about tarot cards. But the card that I pulled for you was judgment, right? Okay, so the way I

describe judgment is, let's say you've taken your final trip on the wheel of fortune, right? And you go wherever we go, you go to heaven, you trade your soul to Anubis, you decide to reincarnate, right? And who's Anubis? Do you know the Egyptian God? Oh, he's like a dog. God. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I do know Anubis. it's like the underworld god yeah yeah so uh so you trade your soul however you believe the end comes and whoever is there says did you do what you were supposed to do in this lifetime right did you did you heed your call to judgment and i always feel that calls to judgment could be massive i want to cure cancer they can be specific i want to have a family i want to cure cancer. They can be specific. I want to

have a family. I want to be a professional tarot card reader, whatever it may be. And they can change and they can evolve and all of those things. But sometimes when you're heeding that single call, the other ones aren't as important. And so it really comes down to a question of what is the call to judgment for you right now? Like, what is the most important thing that you are saying to myself, I have to do this, right? I have to be the most famous person in my town. That's what you said. Right? I have to be known or I have to be the best comedian, whatever. If that's the call to judgment right now, then that's the call to judgment right now.

And heeding that becomes the most important. And then eventually it's like, I have to have a family or I want to have a partner, right? That's another call to judgment. And it's like, it's a, with your seven of cups, it's like, it's okay to be spinning one plate. You know what I mean? So it's like when that call to judgment is like, okay, it's time. I want to have a family or I want to be married or however you see love. I want a partner. That'll be it. But maybe right now that's not the call to judgment. Maybe you're busy being a boss. Maybe, but I mean, this will sound very cocky and I do think I've said it before. I don't really worry about my career because I like I know things will fall in place for me. I work hard and I like do I do things behind the

scenes that like people don't realize I'm doing. But with love, you can't orchestrate love. You can orchestrate a career. Yeah. Any career you want, you can put things in motion to do what needs to be done to get what you want. And of course, luck has to happen with some things. Sure. And I've been very, very lucky and I'm not stupid. But with love is you can't one plus one it to get what you want. You can't. And I find that to be the most frustrating. So I'm like, how does one focus? Like, how do I focus that cup?

How do I focus on love? I mean, I think it goes back to filling your own cup. Stop being the queen of cups for everybody. Stop taking care of every like and we're going to go to partnerships. Right. Because you're like, I'm really learning this lesson in regards to my friendships. It's like, okay, I told them I didn't want to be outside anymore. And they respected that and responded really well.

What does that look like? And then it comes into your relationships. It's like, maybe the next person you date, when you decide to be that version of yourself, right? They're going to be like, God, that's so hot. I love that. I love that you're telling me the truth. I love that you're speaking up for yourself. I love that, right? And they end up respecting you more for that. But judgment is like, at what point does this become the thing that it's like, if I go tomorrow, and I weren't trying to

get this, I'm not heeding that call. And love is fat for you I don't know but it is really it's a it's a big deal of being like oh I have to try every damn day to get this thing I don't even know how to try I do okay so I have this like new rule on the apps where because I'm back on the fucking apps I really teeter-totter. Like, if you only listen to the podcast every now and again, if you skip episodes, you've heard me go,

I've given up. I'm back on. I've given up. I'm back on. I don't feel like dating. I was in a relationship. Now I'm not. So it's like,

I'm truly all over the place with love. I've never been in such a, like, chaotic state with love. But also, I feel like something is in the place with love. I've never been in such a like chaotic state with love, but also I feel like something is in the air this month that feels insane. And it's not, I like, there's just some like October has been funky. Oh yeah.

I don't know if it's been funky for you, but like just everyone I've spoken to is like, oh, I am in a, the Valley, a Valley of my life waiting for a peak or a hill or something other than this low. And I don't feel like low, low, but like I feel just like a huge like a dip. Oh, no. A dip in the spirit. A hundred percent. No, we're in. I mean, I know this is going to come out in November, but we're in eclipse season right now,

I know this is going to come out in November, but we're in eclipse season right now, which is always extremely challenging because eclipses are these insane times where, you know, fate kind of goes at its own pace and it's usually sped up. And it, you know, eclipses make us kind of look at the dark parts of ourselves and shine light on the things that we don't like about ourselves. And eclipses inevitably do that. So yes, no, October has been insane. October has been insane. Will it get better? When does it get nice? It gets nice after the 28th of October. Oh my God. It gets nice again. We're recording this on the 19th and I don't know if i have seven more days a week more of this in me my goodness you can do it but being on the apps going back to judgment right it's like being

on the apps even though the apps suck i i have to say that i've never had experience in them i'm lucky but very lucky right i'm very lucky but it's like that is a way to show up to the heating. The call of judgment of love or partnership is trying your damnedest to get the thing right. It's like, OK, I'm going to get back on these apps because this is something that I need. This is what's important and I want it. I'm going to get it. And no, it's not a mathematical equation. But inevitably, when you're taking care of yourself and showing up as, as authentically as humanly possible, eventually, you stumble upon somebody who really likes that. Boy, oh boy, when also my little boundary with

the apps right now, I don't know if I've mentioned this, but like I swipe until it doesn't feel good because I've had friends and people come on the podcast be like, oh, it just like drains me. It takes time. Like I'll be on there for like an hour. I am never on the apps for an hour. I'm on them for five minutes or less. As soon as like I'm swiping and I'm not matching with anyone and I get sad about that, I'm like, well, that's enough for today. We'll try again tomorrow or the next day. Because let me tell you, I just it is devastating when you are swiping yes to people that you don't find very attractive and they also do not find you

attractive and they do not swipe on you and you go, well, I lowered my standards for a meet and you didn't do the same. And it didn't even pay off. Yeah, it's devastating. And then everyone I know doesn't have a single friend because I've been like, hook me up, whatever. And I had a reading with somebody recently. They were an intuitive. Maybe they were a psychic. I cannot remember what their I almost just said pronouns were.

Their title. I don't know what their title was, but they said that I was going to meet someone at a Halloween party. And I was like, interesting. I'm going away for Halloween and I'm missing all of the Halloween parties oh no maybe next Halloween oh my god

waiting on another 300 you need to get to a Halloween party this year there you go maybe I'll throw a Halloween party in like in March I'll be like it's Halloween in March. Come to my house, wear a costume. Someone love me. God, I mean, the thought of meeting someone in person seems nice. It seems nicer than meeting

someone on an app. But also meeting someone on an app, like I've just gone on so many dates that I'm like, I just want to meet somebody. So wait, okay. As it in, wait, you're an intuitive card reader and a practical practitioner. So you can't tell me when I'm going to meet someone. I'm not a psychic, man. I'm not a psychic. I can only tell you. And that's why I was like, do you feel that love is your call to judgment in this moment? Is that the call? And I know you, you, like you said, this thing about your career, you're like, I know it's going to come. That's the moon part of you. You're like, I'm wild. I'm intuitive. I know that as long as I show up amazing and do all the stuff behind the scenes that I need to do, I know my career is going to be great. I know it's going to be fine,

but it's like, does finding love feel like the call to judgment right now? like does finding love feel like the call to judgment right now I feel like yes I because I have the I do technically have the time where maybe when this comes out sag will have made a deal but like we're still in a strike yeah so like I'm not working anywhere close to the amount I was. But then also maybe it's like maybe love isn't happening now because when the strike is over, maybe things will get busy and then I actually really won't have time. But I would love a partner who understands my life. And I think that is an actual very, it's a very tall order i do think i hear you but it's it's it's a hundred percent possible but i hear what you're saying that it's a tall order because you've got some of your seven of cups you got a lot of things spinning like you yes we know the

strike has been so intense for everybody but but it's like you got to. And even in the strike, I'm sure you're over there being like, OK, well, what can I have moved? Right. What can I be doing? What can I make happen for myself? And it's like loving yourself first and foremost seems to be the sweet spot at the moment so that you can heed this call to judgment of love. Oh, boy. Boy, oh boy. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing though. Like I do love myself. I, I mean, I like, I try to do things to like take care of myself. Although like in the last two weeks, I've been so busy that like, like my sleep has been off. I've been traveling so much. that like like my sleep has been off I've been traveling so much um but like I do I try to do things for myself I don't know I guess it's like keep doing things for myself and take care of me and somebody will come I mean that's I think so I think so and it is it's it's so intense

you know it's funny when people come to me to talk about love, it's one of the more interesting conversations. Cause again, I don't, can't tell you what, right. But I can tell you what the things you're supposed to be doing to fulfill what you need to fulfill on your own page. Cause you forget there's a whole other person who is, you know, getting their own tarot card reading saying the same thing and they have to meet you up at the same spot, right? So it's like they have their own wheel and their own call to judgment. And it's like, well, when does that person kind of stumble into your life? Or when do you find yourself at the same Halloween party? Or when do you swipe, you know, right or left? Which one is it? Which one's yeah? I think yes is right. Left

is no. But I always just do the heart or the X. Because I'm just like swiping seems so dismissive. I'd rather be like, yes, or no. Okay, as a practical, no, a magical practitioner, do you cast spells? Can I cast a spell for somebody? Okay. I was wondering if you were going to talk to me about this. Okay. So yes, I do cast spells. I do them very often. And here's the rule about eclipses, right? I am a witch who believes that we do not do any magic during eclipses because eclipses are going to do their own work. Hopefully you've been spellcasting or manifesting up until a certain point in the eclipse come and it kind of speeds

everything up for you. So you stop your magical practices, but you're not going to like my answer, but here's, I know you're going to be like, Oh no. Um, try again, if the key to spellcasting is surrounded with love, right? If the idea is to find somebody as a witch, I believe you never want to manipulate anyone's free will, right? So you can be saying, I am going to manifest the perfect position to be in a loving place with myself and with my authenticity and talking about what I need, right, to find somebody. But you don't really want to be like, I'm casting a spell to find this person on this date, because then you're messing with somebody else's free will. It's like, like you know i'm trying to think like practical magic right she never seen it oh my gosh well the book is

really i like i prefer the book and somebody does a love spell to get this person to love them and then they end up being this like abusive person who's obsessed with them and And it's like magic is like that. It's like, you have to stay in your own magical lane and attempt to not mess with somebody else's free will. But is it messing with somebody's free will if you're just like, whoever's supposed to come to me, come to me? No, I think that's it. That's an okay thing to do. But it's not like I want to meet them. I want them to look like this. I want them to on this date on the you know what I mean? It's like, I want to find, you know, the helpful thing to spell cast for yourself in regards to love would be like, I want to find myself in the perfect place or time to find love versus it being like,

I want this person to find themselves in the perfect time or place to find love versus it being like, I want this person to find themselves in the perfect time or place to find me. You know what I mean? So can you cast that spell for me? Yeah, girl, I'll do it for you. Hell yeah. Okay. Okay. After the eclipse. We'll do it. We'll do it. After the eclipse. So in November? Yeah. Okay. What other things can you do to like fill your cup? Well, you know, yours is not about, that's why the moon became so important because yours was not about loving yourself. You love yourself. You, that wild, you know, you're adventurous, all of those things. it's more about how you are authentic about i keep coming back to the like wanting to get into the air conditioning thing and how you do that in relationships as well it's like no i don't want to go out to dinner tonight why didn't we plan that and being totally honest with that without worrying about whether somebody is going

to like it or not who gives a shit if somebody likes it or not and if and if they like you then they're going to be like okay i don't want to go out to eat and whatever you need baby like if that's that's what you need that's what you need so i think yours is about filling your own cup in a way that it's like i know that my requests for what I need are totally valid. And if anybody thinks that's shitty of you, it's like, well, fuck them. Fuck them. They don't deserve you anyway. But how do you fill your own cup? I mean, do you pull your cards for yourself? Yes. How often? Um, like once a week-ish, sometimes more. Yeah, I always feel that anybody who has a deck and is pulling for themselves,

it's a great way to kind of fill your own cup. Because again, when you're looking at the suit of cups, it's not just love, it's also intuition and creativity. So it's like anything I can do that makes me feel creative, or anything that I can do that makes me feel intuitive, right? All of those things are surrounded by the love and sensitivity aspect. So anytime you're writing for yourself, or anytime you are doing something creative, those are ways that I think people fill their own cup. Anything that feels intuitive, anything that feels creative, and anything that feels

loving towards yourself. You know what I mean? Yeah. Real quick, we got to take a break. What advice do you have for single people out there what advice do i have for single people out there i mean so you said love felt chaotic right now is that true yeah okay um it i'm going back to that seven of cups thing. And it's like, single people out there, it's like, how do we? I mean, my advice would be let your freak flag fly. Honestly, that would be my my non tarot advice, but also kind of tarot advice is that like, tarot advice but also kind of tarot advice is that like i always felt confident being the bizarre freak that i am and i was lucky enough to find somebody who respects me and loves me exactly the way that i am and that the only thing I can do is show up as myself, right? And

goddess willing, somebody comes along and is like, yeah, I like that. So as showing up authentically as yourself would be my advice for people, because you don't want to get into a relationship where you're manipulating who you are for somebody. And then all of a sudden, you're like, wait, I don't even like me and I don't like them yeah i mean that's fucking exhausting being like i gotta now put on my little mask and be this person that i've crafted for this person it's awful and they probably don't like it either you know it's and it's i'm really lucky as my husband is totally the scully to my boulder, right? He is the skeptic. I am the believer. He is a total muggle, right? In a magical world. And yet, he would never, ever judge me. And he would never, ever make me feel anything other than a powerful witch. And so I know that feels a little

Hallmark card and love and light bullshit. But it's like, if I can show up as authentically, as humanly possible as myself, then I will get someone who deserves to be around me with my freak flag fly. I love that. I really do. Yeah, I like that a lot. Do you ever read your husband's cards? I have. I have. I've read his cards twice ever. Only twice? Yes, only twice. We've been together for 12 years and I've only read his cards twice. I would bug him all the time. Be like, come on, let me let me I got something to tell you. Please let me read. No, that's the that's what I'm so weird about. I'm like,

I will never tell anybody they need a reading. I always will wait. Like they have to give me the invitation. Do you ever do like past present future readings yep can we do that yeah absolutely we can do that let me shuffle i do uh my my hour long is usually um it's actually a spread that i created myself and it starts with past present future and then i end up um filling in the timeline so we basically go from your past into your present and your present into your future and i i do use oral cards for my hour longs um because i feel that they are they're like a nice cherry on top of a good reading it's like a good it's like a good orgasm with those

those like you're like oh yeah i do like to come but that's why i just love uh using oral as well as um tarot but like tarot yes tell me about tell me about your other deck falling shuffling i have to hear these say yeah. Okay, well, my other deck is, the artist's name is Dawn Aquarius. And there are these very beautiful pink cards that are very ornate and very detailed. And I think I'm drawn to it because of the detail because I'm not a super detail-oriented person.

And then I have these other cards that are like uh they're like stripper focused I can't remember the artist's name um but they're very funny cards but I like just having them but I don't use them and then I have like a traditional one from like the house of intuition that I guess I don't love because they're like traditional and don't feel specific enough to me. It's funny, there's decks that I use all the time. And then there's decks that just sit in my closet, or I can sign because I'm like, they're just not right. Just not right for me. Okay, so, you know, we get more interesting career stuff in your past, right? The position of your past, we do get the ace of pentacles. So what I always say to people is pentacles is tangible, mundane things. They represent what do I do for a living? How do I make my money? And then who is in my environment?

Where do I live? Right? So these tangible things, the Ace of Pentacles, aces are always like a gift from the universe. It's like, here, this is the thing you're going to plant, right? That the here's a new thing, but the Ace of Pentacles is so important, because it's like, if I'm growing the tree that is my life, then the tangible mundane choices I make are ultimately extremely important, but also should kind of spiritually aid me, right? Like what I do for a living and where I live and who's in my environment. These are things that become something more than just like how I make money. It's like how you show up for yourself, right? Big, big choices, right? But we get the Ace of

Pentacles, which is about, you look at the Ace of Pentacles and dumb it down. It's like starting a new job or moving, right? And that's the position of your past is this tree surrounding how you make your money and where you live, right? talk to me about that this is the moment where you talk to me about planting the seed that you feel is successfully growing right now well yeah I guess I mean my move to LA was pretty pivotal in me booking more jobs it was just like being at the right place at the right time like I was in the right place in New York but then like there wasn't really work for me and then I moved to LA and then things just like really started happening for me. When did you move to L.A.? October 2012. Happy anniversary of being out in L.A.

Thank you. I wish I could remember the actual day that I came, but I just remember it being October. Could you imagine it was today in 2000 okay um it's it's that is the seed right and and that became the the the seed that you were planting in that moment of the most important thing in that moment right so then it's like well how do we kind of of grow the tree that becomes the who is in my environment as well? Because although it's not a love card, it's not a cups card, the people that you have surrounding you, whether it be a partner or a child or whatever it is, those are people that are in your environment. But we get this kind of very clear thing in your past position of like, this is the seed that I'm planting, I moved to make my career even better and more boisterous

and wonderful and all of those things, right? So your present position, and it is interesting during the strike, right? Your present position is the chariot. So do you just push yourself all the time or do you like to rest? I mean, I do. I mean, I do like to rest, but for the most part, I do work a lot. Has it been, I mean, with the strike going on, is it, have you been pushing yourself more personally with your career or like, you know, I don't know if you necessarily can write too, right? Because there was a strike going on with that. But like the chariot is so much about like movement, right?

The chariot is so much about like movement, right? How I get to the things that I want and success ultimately and how I move my body to physical space to get what I want. And the chariot can be exhausting if you live in to chariot a lot. You're you should that is like the whole thing is like charioting, charioting to here, charioting to there to get to what I want and success and all of these things. And so that's why I was curious. I'm like, are you somebody who likes to live in the chariot all the time? Or are you good with the chariots balance? I think I live in the chariot a lot of the time because I like I do like to work. I like to be busy. I like to be doing things. Right now I'm touring until the end of the year. So yeah, I'm like, I'm pretty busy. and it's part of your ace of pentacles over here it's like i charioted myself to a place that was gonna allow me to work even harder work smarter work more get it get it get it get it get it get it right um was the was the strike really frustrating to you with the chariot uh your momentum of the chariot yeah there was like a chunk of time where like it was just like oh so like nothing is happening uh there is no movement and there's nothing i can do there's truly no avenue to get

what i want right now did your environment feel like it was a nice place to be during those times where you couldn't chariot as much like your home yeah yeah it's it's that's why the ace of pentacles becomes so important right it's like the place that you live and what your environment looks like becomes so paramount to making sure that you are a happy healthy version of yourself right um but i like that you go on vacations. That's a good thing to have with the balance of your chariot. I try. I try to get away when I can. You got to. You have to. Okay, so the position of your future, we do get the Knight of Swords. And this is a court card. Again, you got another minor, major court card. So the Knight of Sw of swords let me talk to you about the knight of swords

the knight of swords knights are how do i reach my goal right how do i get there and then the active quality through their suit with which they do that and swords are all about your mind so the knight of swords is a perfectionist they are uh really brilliant people but they are bloodthirsty at getting to what they want. And they push themselves really hard to get there. And they are very mathematical. It is like they're a GPS. It's like if I put in the coordinates, I know how I'll get there, when I'll get there, what it looks like getting there, all of these things.

And it's not the best when it comes to love, by the way, with the Knight of Swords. Okay. Because it's like, okay, I can, I know exactly on the timeline how this is going to happen and what it's going to look like. And it's like, you'll never know. You're right. That's what you said. It's not a math problem. You're like, if it were a math problem, I could solve it.

But it's not. Right. Do you identify with the Knight of Swords? Yeah. problem you're like if it were a math problem I could solve it but it's not right uh do you identify with the knight of swords yeah I mean uh I I don't know if I'm a perfectionist but like I am like hard on myself with a lot of things or my therapist is like hey chill out yeah you don't you don't got to be like this so yeah yeah, I guess I do identify with that. Okay, I'm just going to go out on a limb. Does it frustrate you that your knight of swords is so good at getting what you want

career wise and yet the knight of swords is like, wait, why isn't it a math problem? Like, why can't I just have the coordinates to getting into a relationship? Why can't it just be clear like this? I put in the work, I'm amazing, and I get it. And then love is like, well, that's very frustrating. It's not the same way. Yeah, it's incredibly frustrating. Well, so the Knight of Swords is very interesting, because it's like, they're useful to you, right? If you're trying to finish a project, or if you're trying to, I don't know, balance your checkbook, do people do that anymore?

Do your taxes, right? The Knight of Swords is going to be very useful to you. But the Knight of Swords is not very useful when it comes to love, frankly, right? That other part of that pentacle that you planted. Because it's like, I want someone in my environment with my pentacles. That's part of the tree that is my life, right? So the Knight of Swords is like, okay, well, if I just figure out

exactly what it's gonna look like, then I'm gonna get there. And it's like, you'll never know exactly what it looks like. And that's what's so magical about magic. I mean, truly, that's fine. I know, I know. But that's what's so amazing about magic is that trying to logic something that you can't logic is, uh, kind of kills the vibe. Right. And that's why when you look at the tarot, love is a different suit than your mind. It's not logical. It is. It's not a logical thing. It's like,

it's just not logical. So the night of swords is useful to you, but if we boiling it down to love again, right. Since we're on a love podcast, it's like trying to figure out what it looks like. Even the timeline thing. And I know that,

I don't know if that's like naturally a question you ask but like when well when's it gonna happen right the knight of swords is the part of you that's like well when's it gonna happen it's like i can't give you a date i can't be like this day that's what i want i mean maybe some people could say that they can do that but I just I think they're full of shit all right well maybe I won't meet someone at Halloween probably not anyway Sutton thank you so much for doing this um I do ask all of my guests I've forgotten it a couple times because I'm forgetful but But would you date me? Absolutely. Thank you. I date you. Thank you. Sutton, do you have anything that you want to promote? Oh, just myself. My website is Sutton Crawford dot com. I am Sutton Crawford on the gram,

the Instagram. I'm pretty casual. You can either email me at Sutton Crawford off of my website, or you can actually DM me on Instagram. And I offer a multitude of different kinds of readings, 30 minutes, an hour, three card polls, which I'm about to record one after I have talked to you right now. And I'm here to talk about anything that you guys need to talk about. So Sutton Crawford dot com. Perfect. I love that. And if you like this podcast, you can rate it five stars on Apple podcast.

You can leave me a comment there or whatever. But if you want to hit on me, you can write to me at why won't you jam me podcast at Gmail dot com and I will read your nastiest. Come on. This person said, Hi, Nicole and Mars. Thank you for including Marissa. I'm a gold star gay, but I'm going to break my 30 year streak with you. Going to eat your pussy like a pro, running my tongue deep into your valley, bringing the rain like the God I am. Your rivers will run. And as you get nice and wet, I'll work my finger in and making you scream my name. Barney, the friendly D.

Yeah, enjoy my big purple dick as I breed you until you have a vagina rose. Ew. Is that a thing? Did I mention I'm gay? Okay, Barney, you want my vagina to prolapse? That's not nice. That's rude. Bye-bye. Maddie Ogden. Got a question, crazy dating story, or a dirty message for Nicole? Write it to whywontyoudatemeepodcast at gmail.com for a chance to have it featured on a future show.

Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye-bye. This has been a Team Coco production.