Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - The Celibacy Choice (w/ Kel Mitchell)

Episode Date: November 24, 2023

Comedian Kel Mitchell (Kenan & Kel, Good Burger) joins Nicole to explore his evolution from teen heartthrob to youth pastor. They delve into the merits of building romance on the foundation of friendship, the transformative impact of three years of celibacy on his relationship, and the art of mastering conflict resolution in partnerships. Kel recounts an unforgettable wingman adventure, plus, Nicole dishes on a juicy juicy couple's argument she overheard.   Write something dirty to Nicole! Submit it to [e-mail] for a chance to have it read on air.Follow Nicole Byer: See Nicole on tour! Get tickets at linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Ooh, baby! Welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, tries to figure out why she's single. Or I was trying to, and I've given up. Now I'm just talking about love with people I find interesting. My guest is a two-time Emmy Award-nominated actor, comedian, and youth pastor.

You know him from iconic works like Kenan and Kel, all that, and Good Burger. The long-awaited sequel, Good Burger 2, is now streaming on Paramount+. Oh, I'm so excited. I get to talk to Kel Mitchell. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. What's up? I'm happy to be here.

Thank you for having me. Thank you for doing this. This is exciting. So wait, you're from Chicago? That's right. South side, Chicago. My whole family lives on the south side, so I've probably seen you a couple times just walking around. No, I don't know.

Yeah. How long were you in Chicago? Oh, man, that's where I got my start. Like, I started out in theater in Chicago. It was something to do. My parents tried everything. I was a bit of a class clown. So they were like, we got to have you try something that's positive.

And I got into theater at ETA Creative Arts Foundation on the south side of Chicago. Shout out to Renako Jahi, my drama teacher. And yeah, that's how I got started acting. I love that. What was the school name again? ETA, Creative Arts Foundation. And so they put on theater, you know, plays and things like that on the south side. And they were just amazing plays.

And my family, we used to go there all the time. And then one summer, my parents were like, hey, yo, you should sign up for the kid like uh you know showcase and we did like a whole thing for the summer we learned dance and katherine dunham technique and tap dancing and acting and i just fell in love with it like oh this is where i need to be and then i just started doing plays there yeah well i love it and then you auditioned for all that uh your sophomore year of high school how did you find out about the auditions i always wonder how people before you get like an eight or unless you had an agent and a manager but i'm like how do you find out about shit like that or stuff like that i can i curse because i know that you are Christian and I don't want to offend.

It's all good. Be you. Okay. Let me see. Oh, so then I was doing theater at ETA and then I started doing theater in downtown Chicago. So I started doing Goodman Theater, Victory Gardens Theater. And I remember I did a play called Eden where it was about a West Indian family that went to America and it was really deep,

but it was really cool. It was a great, great, great thing. And I got, you know, noticed by a lot of people and, you know, I was in different newspapers and magazines and then I got an agent from that. And so I got an agent.

I started, you know, going on many different auditions. Chicago is a little different than it is now as far as, like, television. Like, back then it was, like, more commercials, infomercials. So, we're, like, in TV movies every now and then. So, when all that came along, it was this, like, sketch show for kids. That was big because I had already been, like, going on auditions and things like that. Not to, like, get on TV, but it was just, like, a thing where, like, this thing is working.

They told my parents, this boy got some but yeah I auditioned for you know all that it was a nationwide search and I mean back then it was you know no Zuma that like that so they were literally scouting city to city for kids and it was like the Avengers of every funny kid in the United States. And I went up against them and battled it out and got in there. Can you tell me about your audition? Did you forget your monologue? Whoa, yeah, you know that, huh?

I did. I had finals at my high school. And so I had finals on the brain. Never forget a monologue. But I went in there and I just had a brain fart and so they were like hey do you want to you know like go practice it go outside come back in I was like all right sorry we did it practice it came back in but I knocked over some of the like equipment because you know we talked about like 90s like 90 94 so it was a big vhs like big old camera i knocked all that down uh i did it funny though in the way that i like tried to like put it back together and they thought that was hilarious they

were laughing but i thought like oh i ruined this and i came back in and they were like do you have any impersonations and they thought i was gonna do like celebrities like that's what I guess all the other kids are doing uh but I did like my funny uncles and my coach at my uh school and then I would do all these different things and so like within that audition it was born in that audition because that was something that me and my cousins would do when we watched like say by the bell and all those different shows we were like how would they talk on the south side of Chicago and it was was like, yeah, let's go over there. So we were doing that. And then I did my coach in there who was very, very mean and always mean to kids.

And so that's how Coach Creeden was born in there. Like, shut up, sit on the ground. So that's, you know, in two weeks went by, I didn't hear anything. So I thought I didn't get it. If you know how auditions, kids know how auditions go if you're listening. But I remember a call. My mom picked up the phone and she was like, huh? Say what now?

What happened? What's going on? Thank you, Jesus. And we flew to L.A. for the second round of auditions. And that was the Avenger part where I had to see all these like kids that had been on TV and stuff. But I went up against them and got in there. they've been on TV and stuff. But I went up against them and got in there.

I really love that. I like when people do things that are so like unique to them or authentic to you. Like you're like other kids did impressions of celebrities and you're like, I did impressions of like people I know and things I thought was funny. Like doing what I think Saved by the Bell on the Chicago South side is, is just inherently funny. And I love that. I love that you had that intuition as a kid.

Like, I feel like that's just like, you fell into doing exactly what you were meant to be doing. That's what's up, man. It was, yeah, man, we just had so much fun in there. And then for that, cause I was just talking to Keenan about that. I'm like, for now, you know, Good Burger coming out again with part two, just to, you know, from that, even those moments, because a lot of people think about the movie and this is part two, but I think about it being on, you know, all that in 94. It's just like the blessing and, you know, people still enjoy this character. Like, it's cool. blessing and you know people still enjoy this character like it's cool it's really funny and you honestly are such an incredible performer i my favorite thing is seeing people that i think are very funny on television and then seeing them in person because we shot in front of um

if you guys didn't know i'm in good burger too that's right but we shot in front of a live audience and sometimes downtime they're just standing there but like you entertain them in the downtime and it was just really magical to watch and it was very clear that everybody in that audience was like a big fan of you and a big fan of good burger and like you just truly gave them what they came for, if that makes any sense. Sometimes people are like, nah, I'm tired. It's a down. No. But you were just like, you know, I don't I just I really loved it.

It was really it was so nice to watch. Oh, man, I appreciate that. You killed it, too. You're amazing. Y'all got to check it out. She did a great job in it. You know, I always I told you I told you there. I told you me and my wife are fans of you.

So, yeah. Thank you. But but yeah, no, I just I told you, I told you there, I told you me and my wife are fans of you. So, yeah. Thank you. But but yeah, no, I just wanted everybody to enjoy it. You know, you could see the love that they were giving us. And that's what I'm all about. I want everyone to just enjoy and have fun. And then, you know, you see that on screen. You see like the fun that the crew had, the audience had every day.

And yeah, I'm happy to be there. I just have that joy. Like we're doing something that, you know, we've dreamed of doing, you know, a job that we enjoy, you know. And hey, why, you know, you don't have a screw face doing that. I agree. Also, you guys treated your crew so nicely. Like sometimes you pop in to do like a day on something and you're like, yikes, they had a tough time. Ooh, nobody's happy.

But like the crew was happy to be there. And I think I was there like the last, last day. And I asked one of the camera operators, I was like, how many days do you guys have left? They're like, oh, no, this is the last day. And we're like kind of sad about it. And I was like, oh, very rarely are there jobs where people are like, I don't want to go. But yeah, people, I don't know. It seemed like such a fun time.

And then I watched the trailer and I was like, God, this looks like so much fun. I can't wait to watch it. Yeah. Y'all check it out. Good Burger 2. Good Burger 2. So wait, you said you have a wife. I do.

When did you meet your wife? Beautiful, beautiful Asia. Asia Lee Mitchell. How did you meet your wife? Beautiful, beautiful Asia. Asia Lee Mitchell. How did you meet Asia? How did we meet? That's my best friend. So we met. I a friend of mine was actually a security guard. He was a Q-dog. Right. Still a Q-dog. You know, anyway. So he would he would put on these like talent shows for the kids at Compton High School. Right. So he would do that. So he was like, I need a celebrity to come in and actually host it.

And it will have celebrity judges and you host. And I said, dude, I'm there. I love giving back. So I went there to go host this. And then they also invited other like celebrities and local celebrities to come. host this and then they also invited other like uh celebrities and local celebrities to come so there was this young lady that was a local celebrity that was a hip-hop artist and was like amazing on stage and just killing it and had a whole like crew and a bunch of people there with her like name and flags and dancers and i said yo this girl is like amazing and she's a really good rapper and I became a fan that's literally how this started this this is my wife at the time but I but at this point I'm just a fan I'm just like whoa whoa and so uh I started following uh you know her music and then we became friends as well uh because she had a clothing line and she was just like oh

i would love for you to you know rock my clothes i was like oh yeah i bet so i started rocking the clothes on like different appearances on you know some bt things and the other stuff i was doing and we became like friends every time like on the phone so like you know i would go on a date she would go on a date and then we would talk about what happened in those dates and those things, right? And we would do that, and that was super, super fun. And I remember talking, we would talk to, like, the sun comes up, you know, and about all kinds of stuff. So I remember it was one date that she was going to, and this is really cool that it's around this time. Because I remember it was Halloween, and I was watching some type of BET movie with sticky

fingers in it or something like that and I was sitting there watching it and she was about to go out on a date I'm on the phone with her and I was not going out on a date with anyone at the time I was just sitting there watching this BET movie and I'm sitting there and then all of a sudden I was just like you know what? You should be dating me. I don't even know where you going. Where you going? Where you going? Right.

And so she told me, boy, she was going, but it messed her whole date up. Right. She had me on. She had me on the mind. Right. So did whoever that guy is. So it ruined his whole situation. She got back, called me. And then we started talking about us actually dating.

And then, you know, us actually dating and then, you know, us going out and yeah. I love that you ruined that date. I did. You ruined that man's chance. He was like, why isn't she into it? I've been a gentleman this whole time and she just seems like her mind is somewhere else.

It was with you. That's right. Oh my God. more else it was with you that's right oh my god when when was the moment that like both of you were like ah I think we're in love oh it was a lot a lot of those moments because remember like we started off as uh started off as friends and the cute the cute the beautiful thing about it is that we secretly were in love with each other, both of us, but not saying nothing. You know what I mean? And I remember it was a lot of those moments, but one that resonates so much is because we both discovered this at our reception at our wedding, right? So there was a time where when we were just friends, right? And she was doing an event

over in Long Beach and we got on this like ferris wheel and when we got on it it was going up you know really really high and everything and we got on there together and it shook right so when it shook she jumped in my arms right and when she jumped in my arms i had like this vision like for real though but i had a vision like i was like yo this i think this is my wife like word up even way back then i was like this it just hit my heart and it was funny because i'm talking about it within a reference then my wife was like i felt that same thing when i was on the ferris wheel at the same time when that happened and i was just like there it is look at that we're meant to be together there it is

I love it I have trouble dating I've been single for so long but when I hear stories like that I'm truly a hopeless romantic some days I'm like oh I give up but then I hear things like

that and I'm like oh I can't wait to be on a ferris wheel with somebody and jump into their arms and be like. That's so cute and so romantic. Yeah. Would you do you think being friends with your partner before you start dating is the key to like a good relationship I do you know what I mean I really do because you really get to understand each other you know and she and what's funny about it is that she knew so much about me at this point and like the whole thing is like with you know with other relationships I was in dating and all that stuff that I've been through and I knew about

her you know because we were both very open about the relationships that we were in, which was cool. And then now to know each other on that level and be best friends and be good friends and then continue that friendship within being married is such a such a great thing. Like she knows me. I know her so very well. such a such a great thing like she knows me I know her so very well and um you know and I loved it because in prior relationships you know you bring somebody around and be like oh man you got to bring her around or that person come you know what I mean but my wife is like everybody's like super excited you know what I mean and it's like uh it's so cool like you know just us together uh it's super awesome you know it's a friendship. But I think that does definitely help. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I want that. I want a best friend who's also my partner. It just seems fun to be like, ooh, I can't wait to go home to my bestie. You know, I went to dinner, but like I can't wait to tell my best friend what happened at dinner.

Yes. That's us all the time. Like we're always talking. Great conversations. You know what I mean? That's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you, when, okay, so what was your proposal like?

Did you plan something or was it low key? What was it like? I definitely planned something. I was like, this has got to be awesome. You know what i mean uh but my wife uh she's a planner and everything is like you know like to the t she knows everything right so it's like it's hard to surprise her right so you got to work on it so uh what i did was was that um i said a whole full day planned right and so uh we had a breakfast plan that we were going to go to.

I believe it was Marmalade. I think that's where we went for breakfast first, yeah. So we went there, right? And I put her in the car, and then I went and hit the switcher box for the electricity in my place. So I turned it off and made sure all the lights didn't work i'll explain later why i did that right so then i get uh in the car we have you know marley then we went to a drive-thru because it wasn't a lot of it's not a lot of drive-thrus

uh out here in la so we had to drive out far and we're like yo let's go to drive-thru movie because we're like a bunch of big kids and we're like it'd let's go to a drive-thru movie. Because we were like a bunch of big kids. And we were like, it'd be cool to do a drive-thru movie. And we found one. I think it was called Tiki something. That was like drive-thru. And we saw a double feature. Bridesmaid was part of it, which was cool. So we saw the movie.

Did all this fun stuff. Had lunch again and all this, right? And so I'm going back home. It's dark now. And I walk her in and i have her go in that place first my place first so she goes in and she's going from light to light like nothing's working the switches aren't coming on what's going on and i she comes back into the living room and i'm on my knee and the uh ring box had a light in it.

And so I was just like, you are the light in my world and the light and I see you and then that's how I proposed it. Oh my god! That is so beautiful and cute and I like it so much!

Oh! Oh my god, that's so sweet. I love did she cry she did she did and we hugged it did you know it was it was it was awesome because the only light was literally coming from that ring because everything was so everything was dark and you know the light coming from her and everything from smiling and stuff so and me smiling so that was cool i love it so much. Yeah. Just to go back to after you got all that, did you, you were 15. So when did you start dating and did the show affect your dating? Yeah, definitely. When I was younger, I want to say I was dating before I got one before I got on that I remember my my first

date was when I was I want to say like eighth grade seventh grade okay around that time you know what I'm saying uh I had a um a uh older older uh sister that chaperoned me on my first date, which was funny. So she chaperoned me on my first date. Because the girl I was talking to, you know, I was just like, oh, no, I don't want my mom or dad to take me. And then, but my sister was like super cool. She was like, you know, salt and pepper and all that stuff back in that time. Like she had cool jackets and all that stuff.

And she had her boyfriend at the time and they were like, oh yeah, you just come with us. And I'm like, oh, that's fun. And so picked up, picked up the girl

and her boyfriend allowed me to get in front of the car and was like, you know, like I'm driving but we were all going in the backseat.

But yeah, yeah, that was, I remember that one because that was like one of the first dates so that was super funny. Did girls throw themselves at you?

Because I feel like, so I call them chuckle fuckers for comedians. It's women who go to shows and they're like, I don't really care what you look like. I just want a funny dude. Did you have girls be like, oh my God like lift up their bra for you to sign like were they wild like that yeah they were it got pretty wild like when all that came out yeah definitely you know it was and you know and i was it was wild you know what i mean and it was fun because we ended up being like the heartthrobs and you know i was on uh teen beat and all that stuff tiger beat you know magazines and so oh my god i remember those magazines that's wild do you have any old copies i do i do i had the s curl and

i was just like are they framed or are they just in a drawer i think my mom has them uh you should frame them because it's iconic and only a certain generation remembers them. So like if you have them up in your house, like just put them in the bathroom. And like you'll just every time you hear someone new go in your bathroom, they'll be like, oh, my God. I think I posted one with me and Kenan and we were in, I want to say, Fat Farm or FUBU outfits. And it was just like the Jason Penny type of picture. Yes, yes. We were just like really posed and it doesn't look natural at all.

Nobody is comfortable. And they had the font like, yeah, Keenan killed the fresh teens. Yeah, but I remember like girls, it was wild. I remember one that I remember that Keenan and I, we went, you know, some double date to one of these, like, amusement parks. And the girl just attacked me. And, like, the ride, like, the little ocean ride that you go through, it was, like, the small world type of thing. Yeah. And it was a part where it gets dark.

And it was just, like, she just, hey. Oh, my. That's terrifying. People are scary. Was there a girl who wanted to meet you and then she had an asthma attack? Oh, yeah. You know about that? Oh, that was funny.

That also happened. That was at Disney, I think. All the kids were there. And they were like, run to the trolley. about that oh that was funny that also happened uh that was at disney i think we were all the all that kids were there and uh they were like run to the trolley because they have this private trolley for celebrities and so we're running to the to run into the trolley trying to get away and uh there's like a crowd behind us of screaming girls and they were running after us and everybody got a trolley i turn around i said i'll just sign just one and the girl is like starts hyperventilating and but it started off you know like i was oh she's just excited she's like oh kill kill oh i didn't wait

and she fell out like literally right there on the ground and I'm sitting there holding her hand waiting for her oh my god that's wild

it was wild she fell out it was like it was wild but that's scary because you're like I don't know

what these people are going to do and then it's like they don't attack you they just almost kill themselves by having an asthma attack that's wild

she's okay though everybody she's okay you're listening no girls They don't attack you. They just almost kill themselves by having an asthma attack. That's wild. She's okay, though, everybody. She's okay. You're listening. No girls were hurt in the making of your stardom. Stardom. Yes. Kel, real quick, we have to take a break. We're back okay can you tell me do you and asia fight at all are you do you like do you get into

disagreements and how do you resolve them deaf uh disagreements yeah i think every relationship has disagreements you know what i mean but what's cool about us is that and this is what i love about my wife she's 100 100 real and i love that and then you know even sometimes where it's accountability and i'm like what and i'm like how she but it's like i love it because you know it keeps you on your toes keeps me on my toes and conversation is key in any relationship every time someone asks us about, you know, a relationship, I'm saying conversation. You know what I mean?

Make sure you have a conversation, keep it 100 with one another, pray with one another. You know, that's a big thing. And then also, you know, have your own time of prayer too as well on certain things. So even before I have something that's going on or it is a disagreement, I take it to God first because I want to make sure that I'm coming into it with kindness and I'm coming into it

with thinking about both sides, like how I feel about it, but then also how she feels. Because a lot of times in relationships, you know, when people are in a conversation and they're listening to someone, they're just thinking about the next thing they're listening to someone uh they're just thinking about the next thing they're going to say before that person finishes you know what i mean and it's not it's not like that with us it's really like yo i really want to hear you know uh what you have

to say and i want to understand it and i digest it and you know and be able to uh us come back to a happy medium uh together you know what I mean? And I think that's what's important. You know, that's definitely what's important. Sometimes you got, sometimes I got to keep it 100, like, yeah, I was wrong. You know what I mean? Or she go, yeah, I was wrong or whatever.

You know what I mean? And then that's just the beautiful thing about it. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's actually really good advice to, I don't even know if you realize you're giving advice, but you like people are thinking about the next thing they're gonna say and they're not actually listening so it's like if you're in a fight with someone maybe it's like before you form what you're trying to say be like what i think you're trying to say to me is this so you

like get it right and there is no misunderstanding and then you can make a response. Kale, that's really great. I was walking my dog yesterday and my neighbors were outside their house screaming at each other, screaming. So we're recording this a little earlier. I know it's closer to Thanksgiving as you listen, but this was Halloween day. And this man was like, I i'm gonna get the haunted house set up and she was like but our kid doesn't want the haunted house she told me she was scared of it and he was like what do you mean she really wants and she goes this haunted house is for you

it's not for her and he's like for me what do you mean and then then they went into him going you are miserable you are fucking miserable and he's like fuck you fuck they're screaming outside and then she was like if you think we're gonna have a full thanksgiving and go to paris the next day you must be high you must be high and i was like oh my and i was like if they look at their cameras i am spending a full five minutes going back and forth in front of their house because i was like this is juicy but also i i didn't realize people spoke like that to each other in real life i thought that was like heightened for movies and shit i could not believe it i was like oh my god and when he was like you are miserable i was like what i think he's actually saying is

you need to play more and get get behind this haunted house i'm trying to make and then she was like you you are not helping me with thanksgiving and we have to travel and i was like should i knock on the door and be like i think i understand what you guys are trying to say to each other right yo it's watching that is always wild or hearing that yeah people it was nuts but it sounds like what it was now what it sounds like was a build-up yes and we we talk about this all the time in asia where it's like you know to talk about what it is in the moment you know what i mean how you may feel or find a moment within it don't let too much time go by because it's from that conversation it almost it literally sounded

like she was holding on to that you know what i mean and then it was just like pent up aggression yeah it pits up you did this you did this you did this you did this and now let you have it you know what i mean it's like no no no no no like you know just talk about it you know what I mean especially when you have uh kids as well you know what I mean because you know you're not getting a lot of sleep they got whatever they got going on you know stuff like that and it's the thing about it like talk about schedule everything even with the kids like we have them their schedules we talk to them we talk about you know what's going on with them how they're feeling we have real conversations you know what I mean so even with the kids yeah yeah yeah I was

like oh my god is this kid home and then I was like also it's 11 a.m and neither one of you are at work I think your lives are okay but I think that's great I think it's great to like just constantly communicate. And I have trouble in the moment being like, I'm a little upset about something, but I'm really trying to learn how to go, hey, I don't really know why I'm super upset right now, but like, I think I'm a little upset. I'm still cool to hang out,

but I'll get back to you with my actual feelings soon. Yeah. That's cool though. That's that honesty though. You have that honesty within that because you don't want to say something within feeling weird that, you know, you might regret later.

So you taking a moment is good too. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Taking a moment is, is great. You know, uh, I remember,

uh, I sometimes like, cause I have a creative mind. I'll get to like, just yeah. You know what I mean? So I'll come in from a creative meeting and I'll come to the house and I'm yapping like, cause I have a creative mind, I'll get to like, just yeah. You know what I mean? So I'll come in from a creative meeting and I'll come to the house and I'm yapping like, yeah, but I didn't even ask like, Hey, do you have time to talk yet? You know, cause she was working on something and you know, she'll let me know.

She'll be like, Hey, can I finish this first? And then I could do that. And before it used to be making me like, but I gotta, I gotta get it. Now, but now I'm like you know what that's real she got stuff going she got something let me take a second yeah i dated someone once where i would do that a lot i would just like come in and like just like dump my day on them and not ask them about their day and i it was like the first like real relationship i had been in and i didn't realize i was doing that until they were like hey just so you know you come in and

you just kind of really talk and and i was like oh i'm sorry and then i just had to like practice coming home and then being like hey how, how was your day first? And then maybe like start making dinner or something and then go, hey, can I tell you a little bit about my day? And then it's like more of a give and take. It's, I feel like when you're single, you're like, it's just me. And then when you start dating someone, you're like, oh yeah, it's me and someone.

And I have to accommodate that someone because they're living a life too. Yeah, it's ongoing. It's an ongoing thing. It's learning and someone. And I have to accommodate that someone because they're living a life too. Yeah. It's ongoing. It's an ongoing thing. It's learning one another. You know what I mean? And when you get that, it's like it's work.

It's a beautiful work, though. Do you know what I mean? Because you're working on, you know, learning. You're working on sacrificing. You're learning on, you know, having empathy and not just thinking all about yourself because we sing when you know you should sing you're just oh baby it's me i don't got another care in the world right um just to double back like you and keenan essentially kind of grew up together so was it nice to have someone there who was going through the same things as you?

Yeah. I mean, I feel like I always tell people because we didn't get on like when we were like on TV when we were like five. So we did have some, you know, because we were about 15, you know what I mean? 15, 14. But it was cool to be relatable on that end, you know, because he was, you know, from Atlanta, from Chicago. Our parents were, you know, similar. Our moms, same height, same thing, like that. And it was cool to, like, be able to navigate through life at the same time, you know, while dealing with being in the public eye, too. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I did in the public eye too. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Being in the public eye, yeah.

That's an interesting point because someone who starts in television at five is a huge difference from someone who starts at 15, which is a huge difference from someone who starts at like 30. So, yeah, as a teen, what was that like? It was deep because it was a shift. You know what I mean? Because I had, you know, life was going, you know, how it was in was deep because it was a a shift you know what i mean because i had you know life was going you know how it was in the shy you know uh and then now people starting to notice you know

who you are um it was a thing of i got my friends that are on the show that are in florida because we started on florida and then i got my my peoples i grew up with in the shy uh and then it's the navigation of the people that just want to take advantage. Meaning that I just want to be your homie because who you are on TV, but I don't really want to know the real you. And so that's a that's a real thing where it's like you have to navigate. And then also within dating, that's a real thing, too, that you have to navigate to navigate too because people wearing a certain face that they're really are not they're not being who they really are you know what i mean so that can that can be very uh very difficult you know when you're you know uh are in the public eye as far as like

trying to be in the dating scene and doing that too yeah what's the worst date you've been on the worst date i've been on i want to date I've been on? Mm-hmm. I want to say, well, I don't want to say worst because then people might be like, remember, be like, ooh, he talking about me. He talking about me. No. Or the wildest date. Okay, plus. Or a memorable date where you're like, I can't believe this is happening.

No, I'll tell some crazy ones. So I had one where, well, I'll tell two. crazy ones so i had one i had one where uh well i'll tell two so one where it was this girl sweet girl pretty girl sweet but uh after the date i'm walking her to a car because i'm a gentleman you know i like to you know walk people to the car right so i walk into a car and everything falls out like i'm talking like you know uh nuggets mcdon McDonald's, just all kind of stuff. All kind of stuff. It just threw me off. And it was just like,

ah, no. Oh, dang. Yeah. You went on a date with a Hamburglar. That's so funny to have chicken nuggets fall out of your purse. That would happen to me.

I would be like, I'm sorry. I was keeping them for later. It was like, no. And it was like, it was like, you know, trash and different things that was in the car and i remember i was telling that to a friend of mine and they were like but yo you you you think she might she might be living in her car

and i'm like no she wasn't no she wasn't living in the car man she wasn't doing that but it was just like this whole thing uh and then another one is like, because like wild, you know, hookups and wild stuff. I remember my homeboy called me at like, I want to say like 12 a.m. He was just like, yo, dude, the girl I've been dating, she in town. She had a friend house. My car acted up. Can you drive me there? What?

Okay. So I was like, I'll drive you there. He was like, yeah, here's the catch, though. It's like, it's almost to Vegas. What? What? I was like, what? Almost to Vegas? We in LA, man.

And I said, but, you know, this homie looked out for me like this girl. I said, all right, we can go to Vegas afterwards. We'll turn up. I said, okay, cool. So I go there and do this, get there. He's like, yeah, she got a sister. So you just keep her company. So I'm like, all right. He's smiling the whole way when we driving up there a couple hours you know so we get there and he was

right he was like the sister was cute she was cute the sister was cute uh but we get in there he go into the room with the girl like the door and i'm there stuck with this other girl and all the pretty went out the way because she took off her jacket and it was like she had band-aids on and she was talking about these like crazy adventures that she had that was a little that was a little wild

then she was talking about her baby daddy that likes to come to the house no no no and he liked to come to the house and he mad that he'll be over there because a friend be bringing people over there i'm trying to get the homie to wake hey bro yeah yeah we gotta go back to la yeah come on out come on out but yeah just crazy escapades you know that's wild have you ever seen the movie zola know that's wild have you ever seen the movie zola zola no i haven't it's based on a twitter thread of a exotic dancer who goes on this wild adventure with this white lady that she meets

um and they're both strippers and she just does like things just keep happening like a dude who's gonna come to the house who's mad at who hangs out there and that sounds like like the sequel to Zola that's so funny she's covered in band-aids she's like my baby daddy coming he's not gonna be happy that's that's so wild she's sneezing coughing

I'm like what is what's going on she said it was a dog bite oh no it was wild it was wild that was a funny one. Oh, no. It was wild. It was wild. That was a funny one. But yeah, we were getting to all kind of craziness with crazy dates and crazy things. I love just saying yes to wild things.

And I love that you said yes to driving halfway to Vegas. Yeah. Because here's the thing. That was around when, because I had been married before. And so I had a divorce and then I was single. And so shout out to everybody that's single because that world is crazy. Try to navigate and find out. So it was just like, hey, I'm out here.

I was at the, you know, going to the clubs, going to the, everywhere, the clubs and all that stuff. Different dates, in and out of different relationships with girls. And so it's crazy. Like, I understand, like, you get weird people. You know what I i understand like you get weird people you know what i mean your dates are weird you know and so uh but yeah it's so i'm so happy i i met my beautiful wife because now i'm just like i ain't gotta deal with all that and then we hear i hear like my cousin's stories and my friend's stories that you know are looking for you know uh someone and they tell us about their crazy single life.

And I was just like, oh man. So we're praying for your sister. I already know her name out there. Oh, thank you. You gonna find somebody, girl. You gonna find somebody. Oh, I hope so, Lord. This might be too personal.

You don't have to answer it. Is co-parenting with your ex hard or was that an easy thing to come to? Yeah. I mean, I feel like that's always a difficult thing to do, you know, but if you stay really consistent in your parenting, your parenting style, it works, you know, and then the kids will be able to, you know, say, hey, when I'm over there, this is how it goes. I'm over there. This is how it goes. When I'm over there, this is how it should go. You know what I mean? I never thought of that, that there's different rules at different houses. Yeah. Oh, shit.

That's wild. Yeah. And then you just kind of have to adjust and be like, oh, okay. So I guess you don't do that here either. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why I always say it is difficult.

It takes some praying. Yeah. When did you become a youth pastor? A youth pastor. I became a youth pastor in that. Well, officially in 2019. But I had already been doing it since 2016. And so I had always been out, you know, giving motivational speeches to kids and juviums and high schools and different things like that, just telling my story. But then I remember it like so clearly I was praying and that, you know, God was like, look, I want you to preach. And I said, well, whoa, hey, you know what I mean? I was like, look, I want you to preach. And I said, well, whoa, hey.

You know what I mean? I was like, how am I going to do that while also being on TV? Because at the time, I had a show called Game Shakers. And I was like, how am I going to be doing this while preaching at the same time? And I went to my wife and I said, hey, babe, I'm going to do this. I have no one to talk to that I know that is a preacher and also acting on or in the entertainment business and I was doing stand-up at the time too and she was just like hey she was just like you be the first you be the first you could do it and I tell people all the time it's not easy you know what I mean because I've been doing it for years now and it's

not easy then you know we tell people youth pastor they think like i did something like online thing and then i'm giving good burger weddings and no no no this is this is for real for real like i'm there every sunday i'm already like after i get out the phone call with this you know i gotta figure out uh you know setting up for sunday you know it's also all week being and uh i'm constantly talking to my teens and my youth and praying for them. And yeah, man, like I said, it's so on the thing. But all my ups and downs are like God was always with me. You know what I mean? And helping me within my faith. So for me, say no would be just wrong.

It's how I feel. And so for me, all the blessings and things that I am getting is because of the me being obedient to him and into the call and do it. And it's a blessing when you see, you know, teens or you say, hey, man, I got a lot of what you said, Pastor Kale. That really helped. You know, I prayed about what you told me to pray about. You know what I mean? So, yeah. So I grew up in the church and my our pastor ministered so much and did so much.

Don't you do you feel depleted? Because I feel like stand up gives so much. It's like for an hour you are giving people like it's you're giving yourself to people and you're making them laugh. And I know I'm tired after shows and then working on TV and then also ministering because that's not just a Sunday thing. That's a multiple day thing. Do you feel depleted ever? And then on top of the,

do you feel depleted? What do you do to like fill your cup? Okay. So definitely that's a real thing. Yeah. So I'm glad you, glad you know that. Cause yeah,

you do feel like that, especially when you're giving yourself and you're hearing, you're opening up spiritually and you're also hearing other people's stories. You pray for them. And it does, you know, it can get to a point where you get tired. But there's strength that, you know, helps me out with in praying, meditating, speaking to God, you know, it's a spiritual strength that I get where it's just like, okay, you know, let me go out and do this. One thing that I do do all the time is that I get up at like every day at 4.30 a.m. And so I get up at 4.30 a.m.

4.30 a.m., right? You said that so casually. The sun ain't up. Nobody else is up. 4.30 a.m. 4 30 a.m. Right. You said that so casually. The sun ain't up. Nobody else is up. 4 30 a.m. Oh, Lord. That's why. Because nobody else is up. And it's like, I got to be able to like, get ready for the day and prepare for the day. How am I going to respond? How am I going to show up as a dad, as a father, as a husband, my business, all these different things. And then I work out after that uh my

wife's working out another part of the house too she's working out and she's talking to god and then we get you know the toddlers get up our babies get up and so and then the work how old are they they are uh six and uh three six and three they're young yeah six and three six and three so you gotta imagine you, you got toddlers. And then my older two, they're older than 23. And yeah, 23 and 22, 24 and 22. Yep. Damn.

Yeah. You started over. You were done. You were done. And you said, better get two more. Yeah. And it's like with my youngest, and honor they like they have so much energy you know what i mean they're super excited you know what i mean and so it's like you gotta

you know prepare for that with the toddlers and then also you know being a pastor working in business pr meetings interviews tv show all that stuff and yeah by the grace of god you know it's really the lord you know what i mean me Me getting up, working out, being healthy. That's important. You know, just really me and my wife, my beautiful wife. Like, I really will say that because we're a team and working together, you know, and what she does, what I do, and working together and just making sure it's cohesive, you know. And at the end of the day, you know you know like we go like a lot of times i tell people like we're doing good burger too people were partying and stuff was like that i'm

like nah you know what i mean because you know i gotta show up as as ed you know what i mean to give this like energy that's like super super fast super super you know what i mean and there was also where it's like i need to rejuvenate i get get up at like 4.30 a.m. and getting ready for my day and my mind. What time do you go to sleep? So, okay. So we try to get to bed like around 10, 10 o'clock, 10 o'clock, which is good. So we get to bed at 10. The kids go to bed at 8 o'clock.

Yeah, like 7.38. Yeah. And so then we have our time to kind of like go to bed, get everything going. But yeah, it works. It works for me. I'm sure that's not for everybody because that is very early. But it works. It is.

If it's times where I have to do something super, super late and I have to adjust, you know what I mean? super super late and i have to adjust you know what i mean but it but it keep but the consistency of of doing that to renew to renew my mind i put out a a devotional book called uh blessed mode and uh that came out in uh 2000 no 2020 and so i put that on 2020 i wrote it during the the pandemic and it was literally me saying it was a devotional book and it was about this, like preparing for your day, commanding your morning, commanding what you're going to do within your morning. Our mouth is power. You know what I mean?

And so a lot of times we're carrying all the baggage from the day before, all the craziness from the day before, the negativity is letting that go, getting up early in the morning, you know, choosing joy, know you were born for a reason and going after your day and so I wanted it was a thing that I had to do uh all the time you know to get myself ready get myself ready so I wanted to share that with others because people like you get me to do a book and I was like I want to do a memoir I want to do like a devotional because I feel like I want people to get up and know that they're beautifully wonderfully made by. They can go after whatever dream they want. Let's go do it. And I wanted it active. And so like, I would put like a prayer there, a story about my life, you know, a Bible verse. And then at the end, a call to action where you

have to do burpees or you have to do some pushups or you have to do something, forgive someone that you never forgave at your job, all these different things so yeah it's a fun book man it was uh it's still out now and you can go get it bless mode everywhere yeah i i like that i'm doing this book right now called calling in the one which is this lady she has you do a bunch of like exercises and she claims at the end of it you will find your partner and i'm a stalemate because this lady's like i need you to draw a portrait of yourself and cut out empowering things from a magazine i was like ma'am this is too much work but i will say i just need to hunker down and do it because i believe in visualizing stuff and i believe in manifesting the things that you want. And then I do think that

book is good for people who have trouble with getting self-motivated to do things. Because if you have something that you have to do in the morning, you're like, this is what I've committed to. It really does affect your life in a great way. Because anytime I put a routine in place, I'm like, oh my God, life is easy. And then I fall off because I got ADHD place I'm like oh my god life is easy and then I fall off because I got ADHD and I'm like I don't know what are we all doing I'm asleep till noon so maybe I'll get that book maybe that'll be good for me yeah uh real quick we have to take a break you seem very positive. Yeah. I like that.

I do a lot of interviews where people are like, how do you stay so positive? And I'm like, I don't know. I like to smile. I like to laugh. And sometimes I'm sad. But for the most part, if you get sad, you just kind of smile. And then, I don't know, life gets a little better. Yo, it's,

the thing about it is that, you know, cause you know, a lot of times, even with comedians and within comedy and stand up, cause I did that whole thing.

So I totally understand, I totally understand it. And I remember when I first started doing stand up, shout out to you because people would just stand up. It's, it's deep. And I know it is. know it is and so it's tough and the crazy thing about it when i first got started i was just going up there like oh sketches and all this different stuff and

that wasn't it you know what i mean it's like you really you gotta get up there and you gotta have where the people relate to you tell your story keep it wanted and so uh i went through the treasures i went to all the you know the workout rooms i would sit there with the list saying oh The people relate to you, tell your story, keep it running. And so I went through the treasures. I went to all the workout rooms. I would sit there with the list saying, oh, they're going to let me up. Like I did the whole thing for a few. So I got to a one-hour set. But I said all that to say, when I started headlining and doing those things, what was funny, because around this same time as I was doing stand-up,

and I was going through a lot, Wow, a lot of ups and downs. You know, oh, my goodness. And I was going through a lot. But it taught me a lot because I was being very open on stage. You know what I mean? Within things, wherever I was just coming from and being on stage. And then with them finding that joy, making people laugh because laughter is medicine. You know what I mean?

It is that. finding that joy, making people laugh because laughter is medicine. Do you know what I mean? It is that. But then being backstage and also hearing all the stories from the comedians of all these people that have got on stage and gave all of themselves to make someone laugh. But then they were all going through hard situations in the back. And I don't think people really understand once they put that mic down what they actually going through in the back.

It was like a therapy session in the back you know what i mean and so it's like doing that for a few years and under understanding that and then uh i remember praying you know with with some comedians at a time too about certain things we were dealing with in the back and it was it was weird how it's like that catapulted me into you know me being a full-time preacher because when i started doing it it was just like it's like literally the same thing almost where it's like you're finding that joint and there's people that are there that are dealing with a whole bunch of stuff but you're saying look i relate to you i know what you're going through i've been there you know what i mean i know what you're going through but then at the

same time it doesn't come from a you know you're not ending it on a dark place you're ending it on joy because you want them to walk away with joy and knowing the love

that God has for them so but yeah yeah I get it here's a question this might be too deep but how do you keep your faith in like dips in dark times and stuff

because I did I grew up in the church and then when my mom and my mom was very religious and then after she passed away I was like well and people be like God only takes the good ones and I was like well that doesn't seem nice that's pretty rude so I just kind of stopped going to church and whatnot and uh but yeah how do you keep your faith man in the dark is that a Is that a dark question? No. No, that's a real question.

And I love that. That's a real question. A lot of it is because I'm the type of person where I used to replay everything. So if it's like a dark situation or something that I did or something that's going on, it would just bring my whole day down. You know what I mean? Or whole thing down. And you're getting through depression. I've been through depression.

I've been, you know, suicidal thoughts, all these different things. And it's like when I think about it now, thinking that I almost took myself out of here, you know, and the thing about it is that if I would have done that, that I wouldn't have met, you know, my beautiful wife. I wouldn't have, you know, had my kids and all these things that are happening, you know, and going on that I would have not saw if I allowed the, you know, the enemy and the depression to pull me down. Right.

And so here's the thing about it is, is that you have to find um that joy do you know what i mean because when you really look at it i tell people all the time you know like what people are saying to you like why are you happy why are you finding this why are you doing that well hey hey man this is this is what's getting me up to be able to even do what i'm doing and to do these things that i'm doing and the thing about it is is that you have to start to write down, like, you know, a lot of people, you know, you do diaries and things like that. You know what I mean?

Or they'll write down like, you know, their emotions and everything. But then also, you know, look at the times where God did bring you out. You know what I mean? Look at the peace and the joy. There's nowhere in the Bible where it says focus on your darkest times focus on your depression focus on that because a lot of the times it's really in the mindset of

us repeating it over and over again this brain becomes a cage you know what i mean and all it does is it's just like a drive of like all the things that happened that are horrible over and over again. So what you got to do is you got to renew it. You got to take some of that trash out and replace it. You know what I mean? And replace it with the joy. So start thinking about those joyous times. And some people might go, well, I haven't had that.

So how do I do that, Kill? You know what I mean? How do I do that? How do I do that? How do I have that joy? But you're breathing, right? So that's another way to start. You start it. You know what I mean? How do I do that? How do I do that? How do I have that joy? But you're breathing, right? So that's another way to start. You start it.

You know what I mean? You can start it. You know, it's all about our choices. And it's all about we have a choice to have to figure out peace and have peace. It's a choice. You know what I mean? So when you say, hey, I'm going gonna wake up this morning and i'm not gonna talk about all the crazy things that i'm doing and then do inventory of yourself too like a lot

of times it's inventory because what are you doing that's bringing you down you know what i mean i had to look at that what is it is it you know you go you go out through emotions then you go get a drink or yeah then you slip back down or is it a person that you're talking to and all y'all do is talk about all the bad stuff and then when you get on the phone you feel even worse after that do an inventory you know start doing some things that are bringing you joy that'll put a smile on your face start thinking about where you want to be that's where faith is do you know what i mean so start thinking about this life that you want to have and this happiness that you want to have. And how do you get there? What are the steps? Just like we were talking about planning. You also have to plan spiritually too,

where there's a consistency. It's a growth that happens. It just doesn't happen overnight. Didn't happen overnight with me either. It's a growth thing because I've had many conversations with God like, hey, amen. You know what I mean? What's going on? What's going on? What is this life? Come on. But then he goes, but then I started to look at it like, oh, this happened, so this can happen. This horrible thing happened, but then this beautiful thing happened

from this thing. You know what I mean? And when you start doing that inventory and start going through that, I wouldn't be here if this didn't. You know what I mean? And it's like oh okay you know what i mean i like that yeah also you know what on top of like working on yourselves i wish we told kids younger that they should find something they love and that should be their occupation do you know what i mean because i feel like a lot of teens and like older kids like get into trouble because they're just like, I don't really have a thing that I love. Like nobody told me that entertainment was like an avenue for me.

And had I found that out earlier, I think I would have been a happier kid. I my sister was like, don't stop telling your cousin this. My cousin loves smoking weed. And I was like, why don't you get an associates in business and open a weed shop where you can be high all day since you seem to really love it and be your own business owner. And my sister was like, don't tell him that. And I was like, yeah, but that's what he, that's what brings him joy. Like he really loves being high. And I feel like we just, we don't tell kids enough of like the different avenues that they could go through. It's like, do you love the Bible? Do you love church? You could be a pastor. Like that's not an avenue people are told they can do. I don't know.

I think we should tell people that like you should love your job. You shouldn't hate your job. You spend most of your time doing it. So maybe that's the thing that brings you joy, that sets you up for more joy in your other parts of your life. Yeah. Just, you know, be other parts of your life yeah just you know being observant of uh your kids and and what they're into you know because some people like you have a kid like you know you'll see a parent and the kid is just drumming on the you know the couch or something like that and they're like put your hands down stop making all that noise on the couch well maybe you know what i mean yeah they're into drums they're into drums and they like that you

know and so being observant of kind of like what it is that they are drawn to as a kid or as a child and you know this might not be the thing you know what i mean that they'll be doing as an adult but just finding those different things that they are gravitating towards that's positive that's not gonna take them in in the wrong direction um because you know there's other things that you can have joy for that might not be so positive so you still gotta be a parent within that uh but having it be something positive like you know with my with my kids i'm always like we're always like okay let's try this let's try this let's try that let's try this and my parents were uh very much like that too where it's, let's try this. Let's try this. Let's try that. Let's try this. And my parents were very much like that too, where it's like, let them try this.

Let them try this. And then you just see the one that, you know what I mean? That really sticks. And it's cool to see that come together. Yeah. I love that. Kel, okay.

We have come to the end, but I do have one, two last questions. Okay. What advice do you have for single people all over the world how what is your advice to help them get into a relationship oh work on yourself you know what i mean work on yourself meaning that you know you need to know okay like whatever it may be like you just say you're reading books you're doing all these different things you know what i mean and that

love you gotta love yourself first you know I mean you got to love yourself before you can love anybody else and the thing about it is that you got to let go of a lot of past relationships and past things so you don't bring that over into this new relationship that you're having because a lot of times within dating these things that I discovered too that you're bringing all this what happened and you're just in your mind emotionally not like you're having because a lot of times within dating these things that i discovered too that you're bringing all this what happened and you're just in your mind emotionally not like you're physically bringing the person i'm talking about like emotionally you're just there or you're snapped back into it it's like no no no let go of all of that work on yourself um and then you'll be ready to be able to uh bring this king or this queen into your life. You know what I mean?

And I think that that's what's awesome because ultimately, you're going to become one. Do you know what I mean? And then also, too, the reason why we're dating is because we're trying to find the person that we're going to be with. You know what I mean? So you need to take the lust side out of it. You know what I mean? Because a lot of times, the lust is in there and you're attracted to someone and then it's sex, sex, sex, sex. Because I remember I had a relationship with a girl and it was all about just sex, sex, sex.

And then I said, okay, yeah, well, bless me celibate. We were going to be celibate, right? And our relationship fell apart. Like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like right just right there because we realized oh it was the sex that was like the thing with the two of us right the thing that y'all had in common yeah and so a lot of times in relationships people are married at that point and then they discover like years later like oh you know what i mean like why are we having all these issues because you never showed up as your true self you were just all she bad he bad you know what i mean and y'all will argue and then have sex you know what i mean so no no

take that out you know really understand you you know what i mean who you are and you'll find the right person you know what i mean we'll find our person take time you know what i mean like my my wife uh she took time for the kiss which was dope yeah that was dope though cause for me I'm used to like oh first date kiss but first this bop bop bop but being that we started off as friends we understood each other the relationships things like that so she knew all the

stuff I've been through and stuff she's been through all those things and so it was a cherished thing you know like how back in the day where it's like it's chivalry like you're literally like going you know let's back in the day where it's like it's chivalry like you're literally like going you know let's put this one i'm going to show you the world right so it was beautiful that we took time with the kids so it was a lot of long hugs and a lot of love this and when we finally did kiss it was just like whoo this is like you know what i mean like water

you know what i mean which is now i get to do this kiss every day and then us how long did how long did it take for you for y'all to kiss every day and then us also how long did it take for you for y'all to kiss it was a few it was a few days it was a few days and it was what was sexy about it was that it was just like yo I'm about to get this kiss from her but it was so dope because it was just like it was it made me feel like uh almost like a kid again you know what I mean where it's like you know you know how it is like kid again. You know what I mean? Where it's like, you know how it is, like your first kiss. You know what I mean? But it's like dating so many people and doing all these things over and over their ears.

That becomes like, oh, that's just second nature. But it shouldn't be. You know what I mean? It should be like you really love this person. And I'm really trying to say these lips should be like sacred. You know what I mean? And when you look at it in that way it's like okay and then we also uh decided to be celibate too as well so we did that and we were celibate

and we did that till we got there we were celibate for three years three years yeah and that was that was that was hard to do yeah i could imagine yeah it was hard to do but it was such a beautiful thing because now I could know my wife on a whole different level and that's what I mean like with us being best friends you know what I mean and then when we finally you know when we had our wedding and we had uh our wedding and marriage and all that stuff like that and finally be able to it was beautiful like that's what I mean like it was sacred it's the silvery is like i'm really dating you you know what i mean and but i want to understand you and get to know you see a lot of times we um it's a it's a selfish thing when people date a lot of times where it's all about them and it's the kind

this is what i want this guy person well what does that person want to within that do you really know that person all the way do you really know their reactions their feelings their their past their futures their thoughts how do they choose joy and it's beautiful to be able to love my wife in that way and understand her in that way and then boom and here's the icing on the cake now you can have sex you know what i mean that's did you wait for marriage or did you have a date that y'all waited to get to no we we actually waited for marriage we waited for marriage within that we waited for marriage and it was just like you know i had been in you know so many other so this was cool to be able to do that you know and uh and her doing that too she had been in

relationships and stuff like that in the past so for both of us this was you know something we were doing for the first time and doing it and it was just like okay and uh and to really do it and really be committed to it was awesome because remember i told you about a relationship that i did try and it just fell apart so i was already in my mindset of like but i was living my life to the point where i'm like okay straight consistency of faith straight consistency of us doing this together and that's what made it like beautiful this time around with my wife doing it and uh yeah so i tell people all the time do that it's for for women you know hey hold on for a second you know what i mean my mom used to always say don't give them the milk

you know don't give yeah when they could you know that saying yeah yeah something like that but it's just like yeah like you know what i mean get to know get to know the fella you get to know the missus interesting i think it's interesting because it's one of the like it's not for everybody but it's like maybe just take an inventory of what hasn't been working and maybe that is something that you need to try and maybe it won't work out but maybe you could do like a mix of the two where you wait a little bit but then eventually i think that's good advice i like that yeah like have you ever been hungry and you want to talk i've been hungry no i'm saying like

super super super hungry and then you you pick taco bell right and then now you you throwing up or something the same thing like you super super you know like thursday and then it's this guy and now y'all in the relationship because y'all have been that. You know what I mean? It's like, no, no, no. Take the time. Chill. It's all good.

Wait till you get home and get a nice meal. Just take your time. You know what I mean? I don't know. Yes. I can't believe I thought you were really asking me if I've ever been hungry. I was like, I have. You're like, no, I'm trying to make a point.

Kel, so I ask all of my guests this. I've only missed it a couple times. Would you date me? Well, I'm married. I'm in a relationship, so I can't. Fair. I understand. That's a very good reason as to why you're saying no.

But you're going to find yourself a good man. I know that. I would like to. You are good people. Honestly, pray for me. And I'm not kidding. No, yourself a good man. I know that. I would like to. You are good people. Honestly, pray for me. And I'm not kidding. No, you're good people. Just send up a prayer for me, please.

I will. I will. I will. Thank you. You are going to find somebody beautiful. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be awesome. I know you are. Thank you.

Thank you so much for doing this. I really appreciate it. Yeah, no problem. Thanks for having me. Thanks really appreciate it. Yeah, no problem. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Kel, before we get out of here, is there anything you'd like to promote? My book, Bless Mode, the devotional book, my adventure book for kids, Prank Day. You can get that.

Both of these books are everywhere. Books are sold. You can get it at Amazon, all over, Marginal Book. And then Good Burger 2. It's out, everybody. Make sure you see it good burger 2 nicole is in it uh it's really fun fun movie for the entire family y'all y'all gotta check it out fun movie yeah and spread love everybody it's all about love i love that oh if you write me something nasty hitting on me, if you write me something nasty hitting on me, am I saying that right?

I'll read it out loud. And you have to write it to an email address. Why can't I talk anymore? It is whywon'tyoudateme at gmail. No, whywon'tyoudatemepodcast at gmail.com. This is so hard for me. Okay, this person said, Hi, Nicole, I'm going to show up at your house

with a bullet vibe on a remote control. We're going to watch a super cut of Sonic the Hedgehog movies, only with the sexual tension between robotic and Sonic. Nothing else because Sonic is a kid's movie. It'll be sexy because it's romantic between two adults. Haha. Kimmy knows what's up. LMAO. This person is also a listener of Best Friends, and that is a conversation we had on Best Friends. So I guess you have to listen to my other podcast as well to understand this one. Okay. Bye-bye. Why Won't You Date Me with Nicole Byer is produced by me, Mars.

It's executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, with talent bookings by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Maddie Ogden. Got a question, crazy dating story, or a dirty message for Nicole? Write it to whywontyoudatemepodcast at gmail.com for a chance to have it featured on a future show. Thanks for listening. Write it to whywon'tyoudatemeepodcast at gmail.com for a chance to have it featured on a future show. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye-bye.

This has been a Team Coco production.