Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Your Relationship Needs a Song (w/ Keith Robinson)

Episode Date: June 21, 2024

Comedian Keith Robinson has faced two strokes that have affected half his mobility and speech. He shares with Nicole how he experienced a stroke after taking Viagra on an airplane ahead of a date, his crazy run-in with the police,  and his advice on why every relationship needs a song. See Keith Robinson's new special, Different Strokes, on Netflix. Write something dirty to Nicole! Submit it to [e-mail] for a chance to have it read on air. Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Oh baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where Meena Kullbhier has been trying to figure out why I was still single for so long, even though you could come in my washing machine and tell me that it was a fabric softener. My guest today is a hilarious comedian and a staple in the New York comedy scene.

He was an announcer and sidekick for the Wanda Sykes Show. His new special, Different Strokes, is now on Netflix. I've heard so much about him and I'm so excited he's here. It's Keith Robinson! Yay! I can't clap, so I'll do this. Hey! Listen, clapping is overrated, who fucking cares?

Okay, Keith, let's get into it. Absolutely. Are you single, dating? I am, no single, yes. I'm single. Single, single, single. And are you like looking or are you happy being single? Right now I'm happy, single. And are you like, looking, or are you happy being single? Right now, I'm happy being single.

Now, I'm... cheerful a little bit. Okay. Um, I like to ask all of my comedians that I have on this, um, do you have chuckle fuckers? When you go touring and you're doing shows, are there ladies who throw themselves at you? Not throw themselves. Chucklefuckers, when you go touring and you're doing shows, are there ladies who throw themselves at you?

Not throwing themselves, or making themselves available. Oh, I think that's throwing themselves. No, I mean, since I have my stroke, definitely, so I don't call them talk with them, you know. But they ain't let you know what they want and all that, how they want it. What they want and how they want it. I feel like that's like throwing yourself.

But I mean, making yourself available. I kind of like that. Right, making yourself available. Can I ask you, you've had two strokes. Yes. And the second stroke was you were on a plane to see a friend and you took Viagra before landing and then when you got off the plane you had a stroke?

Yes, I went on a flight, I don't know, went to Arizona, they get laid, Period. Let's leave it at that. It's not shortcut or anything. I went there specifically to get laid. That was a girl that I've been known for years. Number one for years. I was made available. We were supposed to meet in Vegas. number one for years and was made available.

Like we were supposed to meet in Vegas because I was doing a show at the company selling Vegas. We were supposed to meet there, but then on March the 16th, everything shut down. And then she said, well, when can we see each other? And it happened November. Right there Thanksgiving. Because nobody, no family was getting together

because of COVID. Mm-hmm. So, I decided to give this girl that I've been wanting to get for damn near 20 years. Ooh, it's a long time. All right, that's why I took the opportunity. I wasn't going like, so it would stop me.

Forget what I deserve. And believe me, I got what I deserved. And believe me, I got one of these in the room. Did you make it to this lady? Well, here's how it went down. Right. You know, you fly a lot. I had first class. First class, they give you all a drink to one.

I'm drinking. Bam, boom, bop, bop, boom, bop, boom, bop. I'm twisted. The pilot makes that announcement, you know. 20 minutes left in the flight, get everything together. So, of course I'm doing the math now. I'm low and drop and I'm still doing the math.

20 minutes left, it was 10 minutes to the girl's house. Total 30 minutes. Well, what takes 30 minutes to kick in? Viagra. Now pop me a nice blue boy. A sweet blue boy. But when I got off the flight, I'm feeling a little dizzy.

I'm like, what's going on? You know, my leg is not, you know, I'm still walking and to get my own work. But I'm like, oh, my vision's blurry. I mean, I don't know what's going on. When I call, I don't panic. I'm a grown man. Grown men do not say it.

Okay. So I just know, you have to make that decision. Should I go to the girl's house? Or should I go to the girl's house? Or should I go to the hospital and live? What was the decision you made? It's for a man. It deal with a grown man, what you think? You went to the girl's house?

Yeah. And then did you go to the hospital like directly after or did you wait even longer? No, I waited even longer. Keith! When you're having a stroke, your right side goes, well, the core one side and hits on, and the brain and it hits on.

Mind the sector, my right side, my arm went down, my leg went down. But guess what was still on. Ooh wee, that dick was still working. That third leg said I will rise up. That Viagra. That's a really funny commercial for Viagra. You might be having a stroke, but you can still stroke.

Do you know what I mean? It has. It does. Oh my God. And in the morning, I could barely walk. They called the ambulance and I went to the hospital. Damn, that's dedication. That is dedication to getting it.

Man, we do this all the time. Mm-hmm. Like, I would go in Philadelphia, I live in Philadelphia, and the project, Richard Allen Housing Projects. Now, this girl always wanted to come to our house at like one in the morning. Mm-hmm. Now, you go to Richard Allen Housing Projects This girl always made it come to our house at like one in the morning.

Now, you go to Richard Allen House and project at one in the morning, there's a 99.5 chance you'll get robbed, beat, or worse. But that little percentage is all I need. That was left. And I still want it. I love it. You look in the face of danger and you go, nah, I'm gonna get that pussy. I'm gonna get it. I might get stabbed. I might have a stroke. Yes.

I'm gonna fucking do it. Yes. See, Maybe, maybe. If you had that type of dedication. Honestly, hands down, all the years I've done this show, the funniest thing anyone has ever said to me. Maybe if you had that dedication and look in the face of death multiple times. Maybe, maybe you would have somebody. That's so funny.

Oh my God, Keith, have you, have you been married at all or no? No. Do you think you want to get married? Is that a thing in the cards? Yeah. You know what? Is that a thing in the cards? Yeah. You know what? I have kids and I have a couple of grandkids. I'm good.

Okay. All I needed, right? This is what I needed. Receipts. And that's one thing you gotta go for. Get yourself some receipts to show that you are here on purpose. And your receipts are your kids.

How many kids do you have? Boy and girl. How old's the boy? Boy is 30. Is he single? Oh, well, yeah, yeah. He is? Yes, he is.

Where do you live at? Let me in your family. He's 30 years old, how old are you? I believe I am 39. 39? All right, that's good. That might be too old for him. Ask him, show him my face,

be like, she's kind of youthful. Yeah. She's a youthful spirit. His sister's around 39, 40. Okay. You know, so, you know, yeah, definitely. Let me in your family. Absolutely, Nicole Robinson. Definitely. Let me in your family. Absolutely.

Nicole Robinson. I like it. What is one of the worst dates you've ever been on? For me, now this is a question I pose to a lot of women. I said, was I wrong? Okay. Now, this girl, I was in New York, she's in Philadelphia.

She had beat me, that's how long I wanted her to have beefers. She beat me. Now I said, look, I'm all coming to Philly. I damn sure better get some. Okay. All right. Okay.

She said, sure. Okay. I'm like, all right. And right around 92, 93, it was. Being one of the sacks for the war mates. I throw a wine up, man, and here we go. You know, I'm doing the thing. I do the thingy thing.

You know, I went to the store, got my condoms, got everything that I needed before mine. Now, I drive to Philadelphia, and back then, 91, 92, Red Lobster was popping. So I go, Red Lobster. Of course you did, I love Red Lobster. Got those nice biscuits. Those cheddar bay biscuits, ooh wee.

Mmm, garlic shrimp. Yeah, she was eating them. Everything she could eat, she was macking. So I said, oh, so, right, we want to go do them or something. She said, no, no, I got actually belched there. I got a headache. I'm like belched. I got a headache. I'm like, oh, you got a headache? Yeah, I think my period's come on.

All right, so I know, I know what's going on. I'm like, oh, you got a headache and your period's gone. Wow, once you order dessert, and I'll be right back going to the bathroom. Oh no, Keith. Drove back to the bathroom. Oh no, Keith. Throwback to New York. Oh no. Left for Assetting.

Was I wrong? Nicole, was I wrong? Okay. You know, it's tough. Okay, yes, I think I was wrong. It's tough. Okay. Yes. I think wrong. But here. Okay.

Here's the thing. It's like she doesn't owe you sex, but then you don't know. No. Okay. So she agreed to it, but then she changed her mind. Everyone's allowed to change her mind, but also, you don't owe her dinner. Right. So...

Yes. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. Nobody owed each other anything, and then both people were disappointed. What was it like living with Wanda Sykes? It was great. All we would do is play video games all night. What video games?

What was outside? Sonic? Nintendo. Okay. We played Nintendo all night and day. There's a bunch of Nintendos. And were you living in, where were you, you were living in Jersey at the time with her? Woodbridge, New Jersey. Oh, Woodbridge!

I'm from Middletown, and then Woodbridge had the fancy mall that was like 20 minutes from us, so we would always drive up to Woodbridge. Yes, we got to Woodbridge all the time. I love hearing about comics when they're younger and how they used to like live with other comics that we know and shit like that.

Because it is such a close, tight-knit community. And there's just so much love. Like, my friend Matteo Blaine has spoken about you so many times. And I just never had the chance to meet you because I've been bopped out of New York and stuff. But yeah, I just, I love how, how close the comedy community is. Oh, yes.

It's like after one and less, Patrice O'Neil, O'Neil. Oh my God. What a dream. So, That's incredible. It was me and one,

and then it was me and Patrice. Patrice was so funny. Did you play video games with Patrice too? Of course Chance football I Don't Understand chess it looks like an intellectual game. Like whenever I see people in the park playing it I'm like, oh my god, they all must be so smart and I simply don't get it

well You know in jail they play a lot of chess. Mm. Now, at that park, Washington Square Park, it's a lot of common, first of all, but some of the Russian chess players come there and they play. And I played a couple of them. I lost every time.

They can really, really play. You, I just want to double back to something you said a second ago. You said, oh, you play a lot of chess in jail and then in Washington Square Park. How many times do you, how long did you spend in jail? Yeah, I went to jail. I got like maybe four days, two days, whatever.

But my brother spent a couple of years in jail. And everybody knows that jail, everybody got that jail, everybody got that chest worn out. Mm-hmm. Something to do. I spent one night in jail and nobody played chess with me. The last time I got arrested was when Rachel Feinstein and Kevin Hart.

That was the last time. That was like 99. What were y'all doing? Drawing smacks from a gig. and Kevin Hart. That was the last time, I was like 99. What were y'all doing? Drawing smack from a gig. They were both opening for me. And we're driving back to New York. And we said, where to, we want to drive you off at.

And she said, I'm just gonna go in the store. Let me out in the store. So I'm thinking, wait a minute. She don't want us to know where she live at. Wait a minute. You know, we all get friends and all that. So me and Kev, I said, Kev, turn the lights up and go for an old bed. We're gonna find out where she lives.

Kev! So Rachel comes out, she's walking down the street, and me and Kev start screaming at her from the car, come here white girl, we're gonna teach you a good lesson. Kev! Yeah? Kev! Cops didn't see us I guess, and they pulled me and Cav over. Uh huh.

And they go to Cav license registration. Cav go um and ran away when a cop had you something. Uh huh. And you go um. You probably don't have what they looking for. Dumb cab did not have his license. So they said, we're going to arrest you and we're going to tow this car. And I tell them that's why I come in here.

I have more experience with police. You know, I come from a long line of cop fighters in my family. So I'm like, what? It's my car. And so what? I said, my damn car. I got my license, you ain't gonna tow shit. The cops said, get out the car.

I step out of the car and grab my wrist. Press against the thumb, I'm moving around. You know what I mean? When they go again, and they all start jumping over. The cops just start jumping. I'm throwing the cops all over the place, right? They take this shit out of me, full of pepper spray out,

shaking it up, I'm like, fuck pepper spray. I eat it. I eat pepper spray, right? They don't like four cans in my face. I'm like, I can't sitting in the car scaring them. I love that you're like, I have more experience with the police. And then they're like, they kick the shit out of me and they pepper sprayed me. Well, yeah, yeah, well, you know, I've been through.

Uh-huh. So they take Kevin, take me to the hospital. When I come back, Kevin's all dis disheveled. Now what happened? A homeless guy had wrestled cabs to the ground and took his potato chips, right? And he said, they're good. He used the two of them, potato chips. And I'm like, what? The cops, they let him go. So in the morning time, about nine in the morning, dumb Rachel comes in. She comes in with a cheeseburger.

She asked me at the front desk, can I give him, I know he's probably going, it's sure, give him something to eat. She give me a cheeseburger, I'm ready to tear this cheeseburger up. But stupid Rachel like, look inside the burger. I look inside the burger, I look at the burger, there's a note. We gonna get you out of here.

The fuck you think this Shawshank Redemption? We're going to get you out of here. It's the hospital. I had to go to court for that thing and the cops said the reason they arrested me because I got out of the car went to rush wrapped in newspaper like with a shotgun. Why would I do that? or after the noon thing, like when the shotgun, why would I do that? So I had to go on six months probation for that. Wow, all for starting to do a bit. Oh, it all started with a,

let's yell at our friend. And then the cops were like, bet, all right, we'll put you in the hospital. Finally gave me a good beat. That's so wild. Real quick, we gotta take a break. Wait, Keith, when did you get into comedy? Wait, Keith, when did you get into comedy? You've been doing it for a long time, since the 80s.

Whoa. I don't like how you said that. How you said it made me a little uncomfortable. I'm sorry, let me rephrase it. No, do it a little better. Keith. Yes? You are a comedy legend who has been around for a time we don't know.

It's like you appeared and you've just been this- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Four. Okay, Keith, you're a legend and you've been a staple for such a long time, like at The Cellar and touring and whatnot. When did you get into comedy? Wingo.

Oh! That's in 84. Okay. And what made you do it? Was it a friend who pushed you? Was it someone who was like, you're so funny? Or were you like, did you see stand up and you're like, I can do that?

No, I've seen, I've seen with your prior, and said I can't do that. It's too hard. Then I seen some other times when I can at least do that. But I want always be in my bedroom with a brush or whatever, drink to me in Stana. I didn't know exactly how I was going to do it at all. And then my friend of mine gave me this song

that just hit so hard, I had it going. And the song, it was a little gospel song, a little bit, my Danny belt, let me have a dream without being a dreamer. And then it just hit, I'm like, oh man, I was just dreaming. Well, let me have that dream without being a dream. I gotta do something about what I'm doing.

I decided to go, I looked through the help one of the nines and I seen Comedy Night at Comedy Factory around me, over night, and that was it. And once you hit that stage, hold on, you fell. But once I had the stage, that was it. It was like, I can't do anything else. I don't know any comedian who doesn't have that story. I feel like all of us are like that first laugh.

The first time you're on stage, that first time there's all those eyeballs on you waiting for you to say something and then you say something and then they laugh and you're like, I've never felt anything that feels better. I've never felt more at home. And I've never felt happier than when I'm on stage. That's the only thing that I ever could have gotten a digger to. Mm-hmm.

Because it was like a high that's never left. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I remember that me and my best friend, Sashir, and our other friend, Keisha, we would like, it was improv, but we would do our improv shows, and then we would be on such a high after them that we would just have to walk around the gristies that was above the theater,

and just like walk around the frozen food section, because like we were sweaty from performing and still on a high and we'd be like laughing about all the stuff we said. Yeah, it's like, it's magic doing it. It's magic after, it's magic leading up to it. I, yeah, I love performing. I've never loved something more than it.

That's the whole thing. And like, I'm still at the low end. I first went on that stage and boom, even when I got off, I bumped. Because I don't know about you, but being a black performer and starting out in a white room, right, made me lose a little bit of club from, you know, from where I'm from. That was the first time rock and roll, and they were playing rock and roll at the comedy club

for spring singing, Sidney Lauper, all hip to B square, and who you know is in the, I never knew all those guys. I knew nothing but, you know, earth went fire and all that. So I'm hip to B, I'm singing, Roll on in the USA. So my whole father is a champion. I won a company, I had my botulinanical, my gazelle glasses.

But then I came back, and that probably was changing me all around. So when I went to the hood with my boys, I'm like, hey, how you guys doing? They said, what are you, potsy? What the fuck? But I seen the change, I'm like, oh. And then, you know, because your language changed for me.

My language changed, you know, medicine. And, you know, I had to find a way to do black rooms again, yes, to keep it up, you know. And that was the biggest struggle with black and white crowds for me. You know, am I door, am I being real for each crowd? Am I changing things, crowds? So that was my biggest struggle coming through college.

That's an interesting duality to be like, how can I be relatable and entertaining for white people, but then keep what makes me the black person I am? I grew up around a lot of white people, so I sound the way I sound. It is what it is. And I feel like when I started, cause I started in improv,

I didn't really understand some of the references that white people were making because it's like, it is a different culture. And it's like, I grew up around it, but like my family was still black. So then sometimes they wouldn't get my references. And then when I started doing standup, it was like, okay, so she sounds that way, but also she does have references that are black.

This is just confusing. Oh, and she just talks about sex. This is weird, but people have come around and I think I'm just me. So I think people are like, oh, okay, I do like her. Has people come around? I have you come around to accept me in self. I think I did come around and I became more authentic

to who I was and I wasn't trying to do anything. Like I remember back, back, back in the day, I opened with a joke that I borrowed from Monique. Hers was, you ever let a guy go down on you with a strawberry in you? And I changed it to, have you ever let a man go down on you and you have a snicker inside you? I can't remember how the joke actually went,

but that was the premise of it. But then I would talk more about how you would have peanuts and nougat in your pussy. And then... The more... And I still think the joke is funny, but I acknowledge that I borrowed from Monique because I was just starting out and I was like,

I don't really actually know how to write a joke. But as I kept doing it, I learned the way I wanted to write jokes and the way that I wanted to present things. So I think you're right. I think I like came into my own and was like, no, no, I'm me and I wanna present me as opposed to what I think you might wanna see. And then there are times where I do shows

where like a joke doesn't hit and I'll literally ask an audience, be like, why didn't you like that? I thought that was really funny in my car. Why didn't you like it? Was it because of this? Was it because of that? Why didn't you like it?

And sometimes that really does help me fix a joke because as opposed to being like, no, that was funny. I'll tell it again and again and again. It's like, no, let me tinker with it. Let me figure it out. I've been helped by the audience, by comments who hate me or whatever. I've been helped because I don't let anybody say something.

I'll do my investigation myself and see if there's something behind it. They said I'm going too fast and that's something to that. So I always check myself to get better. Yes. You know, and I don't think I think that's nice. That's one of the things I like about comedy, um, because there is no limit. You can always get better. Your joke can always get sharper.

Your tag's gonna be, you can have more tags. You can have a better button. It's always improving. And that's why I kind of, like, not to bring up cancel culture, but I don't like when people talk about it or they're like, oh, you can't joke about anything anymore. And I'm like, but you can.

You just have to be smarter than the first thing you thought of. If there's something you really want to joke about, figure it out until you can get the audience on your side. Yes. Okay, we have to take one more break. Do you have advice? We're going to hop back to dating since it's a dating podcast. Do you have advice for single people? Yes. For men and women. Like for men, always. Always. When you date a lady, you're sure that every woman, every man should have a song.

A song? Yeah. If I'm dating you, my main purpose is this. Is this song. I want a song. Every time you hear that song, you think of me. So I'm gonna make sure that I song it real good. Wait, is this like a popular song, an old song?

What kind of songs are you picking? Whatever song, it should be something when you hear that song, you think it keeps the rhymes. Okay. Well, make sure I play that song for you now, then I'll solve your ass. Gotcha. So when you send it home, and that song pops on you, boom.

That reminds me of a tune. I've only had one song with one person. What? Yeah, I've only had one song with one person. What? Yeah, I've only had one song with one person and it was... Oh, what was it? Easy, easy like Sunday morning. Oh, sweet God.

Oh. Oh. And the reason why that's the song that we had is because it was Sunday morning and I sang it to them and he was like, what song is this? And I was like, it's Lionel Richie, Easy Like Sunday. And I kept singing it and he was like, there's no way that's what that song sounds like.

So then we played it and he was like, you were so far off. He was like, the lyrics were right, the rhythm was not there, none of it was there. And I was like, you were so far off. The, he was like, the lyrics were right. The rhythm was not there. None of it was there. And I was like, okay, but like, isn't it funny that it's Sunday morning and I'm singing it? So then I made that his ringtone. And then every time I heard it on the radio,

I thought of him. I still think of him when I hear it. There you go. Then you gotta get more, more guys than you saw. I gotta get more guys, get more songs. Yes, have a pack of songs. But don't sing like that again. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I almost blew my computer like, oh man. You're like, I gotta go.

I gotta get out of here. That was so awful. Oh my God. What is your favorite song or like, what is the most romantic song you can think of? Oh, I had a song right in my head. But it's such a beautiful song. Oh, you got to hear it. You're young, so I know you've never seen a movie called

Claw Neen. It's a song by Curtis Mayfield. But the latter's name sing it called The Minking of You. And that song hits all over, cause it's just, it's perfect for a man or a woman talking to you. Okay. You know, making them you. And I look at you in the eyes, you know what I mean? And say,

come on girl, for making them me. Hey yeah. Woo. And I, you know, that would get you, I would song you out with song new. My top three sexy songs are climax by Usher, unchained melody by the righteous brothers and simply the best by Tina Turner, because I like when people say I'm the best and better

than all the rest. And it's the I know your problem. What? Any better songs. Those aren't good songs? Not for man and woman. I'm not. You gotta get better man and woman songs

that explicitly says, you belong to me, I belong to you. But climax, we're going to the climax. You know what I'm starting to figure out? What? That you should not be singing. I'm, listen, I'm a bad singer. I'm very bad at singing. I look like I should be able to sing.

I wish I could sing. It just, it simply, it didn't, I love singing, but it's not good for me. Yeah, so do I, but you ain't, now whenever I gave you the word, you're making a mute, that's it. Oh. And when you find next man,

make sure he understand the songs. Okay. You gotta sing. And I told my tailors, you always gotta hear. When you hear the noise in the basement, don't do not go down in the messy gang. Get out.

If a man is showing you something and you hear all that noise, don't go in the mouth. Go there. Hello? Hello? Get out. Honestly, I think that's actually very good advice.

Just get out right now. It's the end of you and I. Oh, sweet. Why do you... You know the problem is, this song, it starts out great, you know, Get up and it comes to Broadway play. Get out and go home. I'm just having a nice time. Keith, we've come to the end. Is there anything that you want to promote? Oh wait, I asked all my guests this and I almost forgot. Would you date me?

Absolutely. Yes. Absolutely. Yes! Absolutely. Thank you, Keith. Okay, now, do you have anything that you wanna promote? Yes. My penis size. You're, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Okay. How big is it? Yeah. I wanna promote my Netflix special, different shows, streaming now. And then are you touring? Do you have social media? Do you have?

Oh, on Instagram, Keith Robinson, 438. And then are you touring at all right now or no? Are you at The Cellar? I'm doing work with me and Wanda. I'm going out with Wanda right now. So, touring around with Wanda's sites. Fab with Wanda right now. So, throwing around Wanda's sites, the fabulous Wanda's sites. So go to Wanda's website to figure out those dates?

Are you with her on all of the dates? This is the last three dates. Okay, then. And then I'll be around in New York for a while. Okay. And, you know, when I've been on tour with her for the whole time and you know like that and

Another thing I'm now named the fabulous Nicole Byers. Oh my god, you heard it He's gonna take me to Red Lobster, y'all. Yeah. Oh, you guys sound better, baby. I love Garth. I love Garth. Oh my God, when you're here, your family and I can't wait to get those breadsticks.

Keith, thank you so much for being here. This was delightful. If you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you could like it, you could rate it, you could subscribe, you could give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. And if you write me something nasty to hit on me to whywon'tudatemepodcasts at gmail.com, I will read it. This person said, hi Nicole, I'm a 32 year old single gay man

and I absolutely adore you. While my admiration may not be romantic in nature, my love for you is everlasting. Here's my friend date idea. I want you to dress up in matching over the top outfits that turn every head as we walk by. Let's go to Target, thrift stores, a shop where they only sell doors.

The world is our door. So let's skipity do da right through it. I promise to laugh at everything you say and do, which won't be forced. Besides, I think you're hilarious. Let's skipity doodah right through it. I promise to laugh at everything you say and do, which won't be forced. Besides, I think you're hilarious. Then we can finish the date with us hitting up an awesome bar of your choice,

where I'll be the best wingman you had ever seen. Our collective confidence will surely snag us some studs. Anyhoo, best of luck on your journey to love. Bye bye. You know, usually people hit on me, but that's nice. That's nice that this person wants to take me shopping and help me find love. Bye bye. You know, usually people hit on me, but that's nice. That's nice that this person wants to take me shopping and help me find love. Okay. Bye bye. Also, it wasn't nasty. It could have been nasty. I want nasty. I want to hear about. Come. Bye. Why Won't You Date Me with Nicole Byer is produced by me, Mars.

It's executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Leow, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, with Talon Bookings by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, and Maddie Ogden. Got a question, crazy dating story, or a dirty message for Nicole? Write it to whywon'tyoudatemepodcasts.gmail.com for a chance to have it featured on a future show. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Tee-dee-boop-boop-bop-bob-bye.

This has been a Team Coco production.