Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 42: Friday Bonus & 'Gonna Go Water'

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

We’re back to finish the week off in style with more of your wonderful email comments and questions. First up though, a quick gripe about intimidating members clubs and late-night UFC matches. But once that’s all sorted, we read out a message reminding us about the phrase ’gonna go water’, offer some advice to a listener struggling to get used a very wanted yet unexpected pregnancy, and help out a British listener living in New Zealand but thinking about returning to the UK. Thanks for all your messages - keep them coming at [e-mail] Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome to the world for now, we're doing a bonus ep Hope you're good and you have got some pep in your step I'm trying to start the bonus ep, Tom's looking at his phone Yo sorry, sorry, sorry my guy, yo Hitting the zone, hitting it free, this is the only place I need to be Oh nice, nice Welcome to the bonus episode of the war for now recorded straight after the main episode. Yeah, still still by the way still absolutely fucking free basing from what

was an incredible energy. There's a lovely energy. I mean, you mispronounced it by accident. Then I tried to go with it. I don't know. I don't. I've announced it like one of those really posh people you get in a nice store. I've got such good other day Other day other side, you know, it's so posh they sound like they're from a different place You're moving from off a big line I'm from a cloud don't know where I'm from. I know from her You know how people talk about shops being dead? Yeah.

Or the shopping experience is dying. I do think the experience you have when you go into like a shop that has expensive clothes in has contributed to that. Yeah. Because it's just horrible, isn't it? Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

You feel so judged. Marseilles, by the way, in keeping with that, there's a, yeah, there's a, I won't name them, but there's a quite well-known, I guess it's a members club, right? So has it. Yeah, I mean, yeah, there we go. I was given a membership there, it's something I've, you know, got back. I find myself going in there like literally I'm going to the school bully's house whose parents are also going to pick at me and be horrible.

I feel like walking in there and as soon as I walk in there it's like, oh what's this fucking piece of shitty toilet paper doing there? Like fucking being crap. Do you think part of that is the chip that we've got on our shoulder? No, I think part of that is inherent snobbery and people that believe that they're social standing no matter where they are. Some people are born with this incredible confidence no matter where they go and what they do they can look down their nose at you and make you feel like an utter piece of shit and that is utterly like,

That is this utterly like it's I would say it's one of the most horrific experience like yeah, it's a horrific experience is very fucking middle-class of me, but yeah, it's The way you hate yourself you're starting to hate what you come on do hate myself for saying that but yeah Yeah, it's like I find myself just literally shrinking and feeling sick to my stomach when I go and I feel like so myself just literally shrinking and feeling sick to my stomach when I go in and I feel like so inherently judged. Even worse I'd say by the way when you go in with your family and you feel even utterly more judged. I've never been in with my family actually. Yeah I have but it was yeah. My dad just got mad and my dad said this is disgusting. He said let's just go somewhere. He hated it. Lisa went for the first time the other day. She was on like a little girls night thing. Yeah.

And she went for the first time. I think she found it quite, but then she'd not been before. So I think when you go for the first time, it's a little bit. Yeah, but I, I mean, you're a member, right? Yeah. I find it like, I don't know. I just don't find, there's some of the staff there,

but I should say I love it. Staff are fine, aren't they? No, man. Some of them are this this you know It's the way you get spoken like I look maybe is an air of chip on the shoulder There's a lot of times where I go in there and I feel like when you're looked up at someone looks you up and down and you feel you know, like You know when you scratch a house party when you're a kid and so I'm like, yeah And you'd be there and like exactly what you're saying is you indicated here. You walk in and go, oh my God, we're into so and so's house party.

And then someone go, what are you doing here? Hmm. Who invited you? And you're like, oh, we just had it was on. So we popped in. Oh, right. Yeah. This house party is so fucking lame.

Tom Davis is here. It's like, that's how it feels. Right. When house place so fucking lame Tom Davis is here. It's like that's how it feels right when I go to fucking Okay, that's that's two minutes of us getting our memberships revoked. Okay, should we do some emails? This is from a non As in a non. Yeah What they are recently but oh, mmmour me unsurprised. Hey y'all. Hey y'all. So back in the early days of the podcast, Tom argued that if you said I'm gonna go water when talking about going swimming,

the person would know that you meant swimming. If you remember, he was supposed to do the secret test with Jamie Redd that, but it wasn't executed as planned. So anyway, fast forward to the latest episode, someone signed off their email with about to go water or words to that effect. And you both had no idea what he meant by that. Thus proving Rom's point. Sorry, Tom. Love you both.

Well, well, well, the master has become the people or whatever the teachers. Yeah, look, you know what? I still maintain that in that situation. How can you possibly still maintain it? How can you possibly still maintain it? Because I believe in things that I've said before and I'm quite firmly even if I know that they're true. Listen, I still think if you, I think my argument back then, and I'd have to listen back, then that would be the first time I have ever done that, but it would be that if the indication is, I'm going to water, would be that you'd almost be.

No, but that's not the phrase, it's I'm going water. I'm gonna go water. I still think, I don't know, I still think I know what someone's saying. I think in that connotation on an evil. What I will concede is if you were next to a swimming pool You could just go I'm gonna you didn't got say war if you just point to the swimming pool. Yeah, but I'm trying yeah, okay Yeah, yeah, but the phrase doesn't work. Yeah, you know what?

I've said a lot of stuff on this podcast a lot of it has been true Like, you know, let's not fucking forget that I was the one who said that at some point robots would run McDonald's that's happening There's a lot of stuff. I've said I've said about the espresso thing with George Clooney. He's now back down He doesn't do the espresso anymore. David Beckham does right? So it's a lot of stuff that's happened out. He's not back down Yeah, he's not back down the robot McDonald's thing Is fair to say egg on my face. I Dismissed it but DNA in typical DNA dog poo. They're doing that. That wasn't your idea I said about it, man. I said someone should fucking do it. You go back. No, it wasn't me nothing

No, somebody emailed in Suggesting it. Well, okay. Yeah, but I Okay, yeah, I agree that the iPhones a a good idea. Oh what hold on a minute hold on a minute look who's got a bit of foresight. But anyway the phrase doesn't work but but look the robot thing you were right and I, in typical owl-ish fashion, went in two-footed on you in that and I've got to concede. Yeah. You made a good point. Thank you.

Oh by the way, forget to next email. You're a UFC fan. Yeah. Last night was the UFC. Incredible. Well yeah, I mean last night was a week ago when people listened to this but yeah. Oh yeah. Incredible. I'm sorry. I was saying incredible card? I will say slightly far from you know, one thing I found frustrating is It's in Manchester, but we then but then they were doing it as I get it's it's an American Network and it whatever but it was like I'm such a stupid time this morning five. I was Leon Edmonds fight

I was just watching this morning on repeat, morning on repeat but I think he came out about 5 or 6am right? Oh my god. Have people been there all night? Well, I mean you can imagine what people are like if they're there right? You're going right through it, you're not fucking in. You're not setting your alarm and getting up for it. I watched I was I would say an amazing card Paddy the baddie for was incredible. I thought great great out from him Aspino is insane best heavyweight on the planet is phenomenal now. I Thought Molly did well. Yeah, I thought it was a good card Leon. I felt for I love Leon. It was top guy Yeah, me too. Yeah

I love the UFC. By the way, I'd say that it's, have you been, you've been to watch UFC, haven't you? No, never. I went to watch one of the original UFCs at Wembley, and that was before it was massive, and it was like, there was no policing or security there. There was just literally more fights in the audience

than ever, and it was terrifying to be at. It was like one of the most, so just blokes doing cocaine and fighting and laughing it was in style. We left early anyhow I've subsequently big to quite a few things, but there's the I'd say it's If it's better than boxing, I don't know. There's a real charged energy to it's a lot of fun There you go, this is you see bright don't actually get a podcast out of that, okay breakdown, hopefully we get a podcast out of that. Okay. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self care non negotiables? It's hard to make time for the things that

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Mom, Dad, you should shop Amazon for back to school and save some money. See, I'm currently obsessed with superheroes and need all the superhero stuff. Superhero launch box, superhero backpack, but next year it'll be something else. Maybe dinosaurs? I don't know. I'm not a fortune teller. But I can tell you not to spend a fortune and shop low prices for school on Amazon.

K. Good chat. Amazon. Spend less fortune and shop low prices for school on Amazon. K, good chat. Amazon, spend less, smile more. This is from a very confused panda. Okay, all pandas are confused. It's in their nature, right? What do you mean, they don't know how to get it on or whatever? No, it's still quite confused pandas. If you look at pandas, they've got a very confused ilk to them.

Out of all the bears, they're the most confused. I've never looked at pandas. Yeah, you've never... Pandas are bear, right? It's definitely a panda. Yeah, a panda bear, yeah, yeah. You've never looked at a panda and thought he's got any clue what's going on.

He always looks like he's fucking deliberating. What animals do you look at that you think they've got a clue going on? Polar bears always know exactly what's going on. Bear-wise, we're talking about all animals. Just bears. I think kangaroos have got a positive fucking idea of where they're at in the world. Most dogs. I'd say all cats. All cats are very fucking decisive in what they're doing. Panda bears, I look at and go, it's got a fucking clue this guy. It really is an honor and a privilege to be interacting with a mind like yours.

Do you know that? And I mean that. Thank you. I really do mean that. Okay. Hey, Wolf Al Et Al. Love the pod. I'm very grateful to you both for your refreshing honesty and sharing your friendship with us

lowly listeners. I'm not sure how to write this, so please bear with me. I have a compilation of chronic health conditions that mean I'll be likely on chemo for the rest of my life. My latest health episode impacted me gynaecologically. After a particularly brutal time of it I was advised I'd not be able to have children. My husband and I started the ball rolling with the adoption process. I stopped taking my pill because what's the point?

No price is guessing our current situation. Miracle of miracles, I am pregnant. I suppose I need a reality check please. I'm pretty sure I'm still in shock but I feel like I'm not as excited situation. Miracle of miracles, I am pregnant. I suppose I need a reality check please. I'm pretty sure I'm still in shock, but I feel like I'm not as excited as I should be. I feel like I'm letting the adoption community down. There's such a need for loving homes where I live and our homes won't be available for them anymore,

at least for a few years. I know how blessed we are. I know this is an incredible, beautiful, wonderful gift. So why do I feel so guilty? Much love and respect to you and yours, a very confused panda. Tom Davis. Well, number one, congratulations on that.

And number two, I hope that your health is better. I can somewhat identify with this a little bit because, and I've spoken on here and spoken at other places, me and Catherine were told that we wouldn't have children just before COVID, which is probably the hardest thing that's ever happened to me, to both of us really, and then like for the journey we were on and to have Grace makes you feel, yeah, it's like, you know, the best thing in turn has ever happened to me. But there was times during that journey where it didn't really at times feel completely real.

It didn't feel like, you know, felt very difficult at times. We obviously, we went through surrogacy, so it was like a sort of, at times you feel a little bit, I don't know, yeah, like it's a different process. And I think when you've been told that you're not going to have children, like you sort of, you make a way of, you become hardened to the fact that that's not going to happen and you sort of sometimes fool yourself

into thinking that maybe you tell yourself you don't want children or you go down the adoption route or whatever, but you, there's a sort of click in your head, like almost like a switch in your head that sort of, and a lot of that's done to sort of give yourself a sort of a mental armour really. And I think then when something like is happening to you right now, it's sort of, I think when you, especially listen to what you're in,

I think when you've been through things like you have and you've gone through so many health problems and that all feels so sort of you can start feeling that like a sort of big invisible fingers just pointing at you picking on you out of nowhere and you're getting constant knocks. When something good happens you're almost constantly just waiting for like a negative like it's very hard to feel positive when you when you when you when you're forced into a situation emotionally and mentally that you're dealing with a lot of

sort of angst so when when something good happens you can almost go you know what's this happening what's what's almost what's the what's the kicker to it. Look I can only speak from like it. I can only speak from, God willing and everything will work well when you have your child, the feeling will just be the most incredible wave of positivity. It will be like nothing else in the world. I actually hope that when that happens, you know that you're worthy of that and you deserve some happiness because it feels like you're worthy of that and you're both, you know, you deserve some happiness because it feels like you're going through a lot. But life isn't, you know, I think we all make the misconception of that we all think that, you know, that sort of, I don't know, there shouldn't be pain. I keep alluding to it, but you know, we've just recently

lost someone very close to me and Katherine and in that time it's really hard to sort of, because you go through quite a lot and the perspective is constantly easy to sort of get sucked into a thing of like, why is this happening to us and why is this going on? And it's easy to sort of point fingers and it's easy to try and blame thinking that you're the only people at times that any hardship is happening to. But I think actually good stuff happens, bad stuff happens and enjoy it, the smiles when you can and hopefully when those tears come and when the hard times come in most know that they're only in passing and at some time good stuff will happen as well. So anyway, I don't know what, you know, in the end, I think I lost my route there.

I feel quite touched by that. But I wish you both well. And, yeah, I think that the things that you've been through, I think as a parent, you'll realise that they've made you tougher and they've made you stronger and you'll be an incredible parent to this child. So good luck. God bless. Panda, I agree with what Tom said. Congratulations, first of all. There's a lot to say to you here. But I mean, the two things I would say, in my opinion, is one,

there is no way that you're supposed to feel. So however you're feeling is absolutely fine. You're not letting the adoption community down. This has happened for you and loads of people get pregnant and have children and this has happened to you and it's an amazing thing. I think in my opinion and I haven't been through what you're going through but when you go through periods of hardship or periods of difficulty, you start to become hardwired into believing that that is what you're supposed to experience. And you start to think, well, I'm supposed to not be happy. And so then when something good happens, you're almost scared to allow yourself to feel happy about it because your brain is saying to you, this

is going to go wrong somehow or something is going to go tits up. So basically you look for misery or you look for discomfort with it and essentially what you're doing is a safety mechanism. It's easier to go, I feel bad about this because if you allow yourself to be happy about it then that could be taken away from you and That has happened to me and I know that's happened to Tom as well. It's just one of those things that your your brain does You just have to accept that that's happening. Do you mean and and eventually you'll get to a point where you start to

And eventually you'll get to a point where you start to reconcile how you're feeling. But the main thing that I give, if I was to give you any advice for now, would be to not feel guilty about how you're feeling. How we feel is how we feel. One of the worst things that you can do is try and just shut that down and push it down and think to yourself, I shouldn't be feeling like this. You feel how you feel. And that will change as time goes on and I hope that everything goes so smoothly with it and yeah once again congratulations.

Obviously Tom and I are completely unqualified to give you advice on this but those are our takes on it and I wish you the very best with it. So good luck to you. God bless. God bless. God bless. Tom, this is from the Loved Up Lionfish. Okay. I've been listening to the pod since lockdown when I've binged everything you've put out so far. I've been listening every week since.

Can't tell you how much joy you guys bring. I told lots of mates back home about you and a couple have even been to your live show since. You're welcome. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to make it. It's a couple of years ago, I moved from sunny Southeast London to New Zealand. I moved here to do my PhD in Marine Biology

and have fallen in love with the place. The lifestyle is so chill, it even calms the study stress. Everyone moves at a much slower pace than back home. And I always said if it wasn't so far away, I'd stay here forever, which is where my problem lies I recently met someone and we have fallen head over heels for each other It's made me question whether or not I could actually settle down over here

I'm at the age where I'm ready to start a family, but I'm not sure whether I could do that so far from home I'm also not sure if I could ever live down Depriving my mom of helping her raise her first grandkids My partner said he's happy to move, but I'm not sure he'd end up resenting it. He's from Essex originally, but has lived here for about 20 years. I'm just looking for a bit of advice on what you sweet, sweet souls would have done if you'd have met your other halves on the other side of the world. Tom Davis. This is a tricky one, isn't it?

It is tricky. It's like a game of risk. There's many variables and many moves, but in the end only you can choose. Apologies to Love.Lionfish for Tom cheapening the whole situation there. None of us could have anticipated that was the way he was going to open up his life. I would say that firstly, I think number one, you have to make the decision that's right for you and your new partner. I think when it comes to starting a family and certainly if you both got work there and you like the world and the life that you've got, I think that it becomes quite an important thing for the two of you. I will say that,

you know, on a lesser extent, you know, the one thing I certainly, when we had grace, I couldn't even fathom how difficult it was raising a child. And at the time, me and Catherine had no family anywhere near where we lived within sort of, you know, it was a two hour drive for anyone really to come and help us out. And I, and that's just two hours on the road. And that in itself was like, you know, what my shop sees, you know, it's got a lot more experiences. It, it, it, that old sort of attitude, it takes a village to raise a child. It's sort of, there's some truth to that. Obviously saying that, I think if you're really, really happy where you are, you can

always try, you can always go, let's just see, you know, this feels like a good place to raise a child, this feels like we're both happy, we're settled. I think that that's a massive thing when you're raising a child, I think, like, finding an area, finding a place that you'll really be happy in, I think. And, like, I think when it comes to the decisions of moving away, you're going to live, it has to be a real conversation between the two of you. I think that's one thing that me and Catherine have always tried to do is always have an open conversation as to, well, this is the best thing for us as a couple, and this is the best thing for Grace, and this is the best thing for you, or this best thing.

So it's always trying to have that in mind. like and there is also a massive importance I think to grandparents. I think it like as Grace is getting older like her relationship with her grandparents like you know my father-in-law and my parents is like it's a beautiful thing and that really gets more and more beautiful as they get that bit older and I certainly think that like making sure that your parents certainly if this is their first grandchild have that but they can still have that if you live in New Zealand and they can still you know those times when they come and stay with you will be ever more special. In the end you have to do what's going to be right for you both and what's right for your child and I think that's the thing and people will understand that. But yeah like you know, thank you for your listenership

Thank you for tuning in good luck, and it would be amazing to hear when this little cub Yeah emerges Loved up lionfish the the the difficult thing is Tom and I can't tell you what to do. But you weren't asking, well I look at bit of advice of your sweet sweet soul, might have done if you'd met your other halves on the other side of the world. I think had I met the swan on the other side of the world, I had a similar experience and I know Tom did with Kat, we just sort of fell completely in love with her. So I guess you've got to sit down together and sort of figure out the pros and cons. There's a bit of science to it I guess of

like working out what the best thing is for you. You haven't said whether the person that you've met has family in New Zealand or if their family's over here. But I think it's a thing of like obviously if you're in love that's has family in New Zealand or if their family's over here. But I think it's a thing of like, obviously, if you're in love, that's something you need to cherish. And so it's about sitting down and figuring out what's the best for both of you. And that's what I would have done with Lisa,

is just go, what do we think? I mean, weirdly, when Lisa and I first got together, we actually did talk about moving to Australia. Not rough, really? Yeah, yeah, it was something that we sort of considered just because, I don got together, we actually did talk about moving to Australia. Not really. Yeah, it was something that we sort of considered just because, I don't know, we sort of always like the idea of going over there. And yeah, but then because of family and friends and stuff like that, we decided it wasn't for us.

But but yeah, I love Australia, by the way. They would love you, man. Let me tell you. What you basing that on? Just every Australian I've ever met and New Zealander, worked quite a few over the years, good people, sound people. Yeah. Let me tell you, they take you. Good people, good people, sound people.

Great people, great, great people. Australia and New Zealand But anyway, I think it's about working out the pros and cons. I'd love you to go back to me, some of my fucking sum ups and just do it with that voice of a genius. Yeah, just I would work out the pros and cons and figure it out. But what I would say is, you know, don't take it for granted. Love is, it's hard to come by.

Good luck to you, loved up lionfish. We wish you very, very well. And with that, I think- I've got the jam, thank you so much. I think that brings us to the, oh God. The thing that brings us to a happy conclusion of the bonus episode, short but sweet. What we can tell you is, well, the situation is

Tom and I, I don't want to talk about this because it might not happen. No, it will happen. Tom and I have got big plans for this podcast and they're coming to fruition very, very soon. Aren't they? That's fair to say, isn't it? Yeah, I think it's big plans and also a big Christmas party. And also we'll shout out, we need to, the season's going to start soon, we need to look at the sponsorship for the football club. Yeah, and we need to find a bald guy, and we need to shout out more businesses,

and we need to choose a football team that we're gonna sponsor. But apart from that, we're right across all of the admin. Don't worry, this stuff is happening. Okay, friends, enjoy your week, your weekend, and remember, there's a wolf an hour in your corner, and they fucking love you, bro, and girl, and sister. Oh, I like that, that was great.

All right, nice one. Thanks, guys. Bye. Bye bye. Bye bye. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback, or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com.

Thank you.