Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 43: A Holiday Owl & Tearaway Toddlers

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

We’re talking… early morning sharpeners, growing too old for slang words, getting rusty, the Owl’s family holiday at Center Parcs, paint-balling panics, a triumphant Swan at the bowling ally, hotel restaurant rivalries, naughty toddlers, Olympic successes, more on those Art Attack rumours and a bizarre message from listener. Then, in a turn to more serious matters, we also discuss Facebook racists and share some thoughts on the recent shameful riots. It's all of life on the Wolf & Owl. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Vitamin Water. So much of what the world is obsessed with starts out in New York City. It's a place full of style and character that has something for everyone. With a range of flavors to meet any kind of taste, it's no wonder Vitamin Water was born there. Colorful, flavorful, anything but boring, Vitamin Water injects a daily dose of vibrancy into a watered-down life. Grab a Vitamin water today. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic.

Hi there. Still no. What about, hello handsome? Ugh, who knew you could give yourself the ick? That's why Bumble is changing how you start conversations. You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur?

Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred? They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast or body parts get severed and served Bring your weak shit where the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows

Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear's a huff and puff and a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing its head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Wolf and Owl. How are you? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Hey, friends. Hey, listeners. Yes. Hey, unfortunately on Zoom, although I have after my, uh, you know, one of my hobbies of laying into the both of us for what we do. Yeah. And shit.

Quite a few people have said to me, don't be said down on yourself about the zoom episodes I mean the zoom They've been our bread and butter haven't they and then all of a sudden I got I got into a studio There were some snacks and I started to get ahead of myself to him and I apologize You got boozy boy. Hmm. Also, I think the last zoom episode helps on the fact that a lot of people seem to think that I Had a massive load of birth before I had yeah, I mean I last dream episode helps on the fact that a lot of people seem to think that I had a massive load of birth before I had. Yeah, I mean, I didn't help that. No, no, but you did seem very buzzy. I mean, that particularly that clip, we're talking about eating me three or four times a week or whatever it is. I can't even paraphrase it. But also, I mean, it was we did record that like, fucking nine o'clock in the morning It would have been insane thing to have done a line Well either an insane thing or absolutely the perfect thing to do in the morning

Yeah, but if you start on the if you start on the GAC at 9 a.m. It's a long day Yeah, I know it's a bit like it's a bit like intermittent fasting isn't you shouldn't start your gap You'd wait till midday at least so you better Yeah, I call it a gap gap where you just you sort of allow your system to have at least. So you better. Yeah, I'd say yeah. Four bites in. Yeah, I call it a gap gap, where you sort of allow your system to have at least 12 hours without it. Where do you have your last bit of gack at? Like 1 a.m.

I will sort of go, I'll probably, genuinely, if you're talking about being out and about, then all bets are off. But if I'm at home just watching the Olympics, midnight really, is sort of when I sort of have my last little hoover. And then. Unless the javelin my last little Hoover. And then-

And then it's the javelin runs over. Yeah. And then it's sort of real, yeah. Sometimes if the sprinting's happening, then obviously I'm all over it, do you know what I mean? You go into bed, babe. No, no, no. I'm gonna watch the BMXing.

I'm not. You can watch. Oh, that's a nice bit. Have you got enough gag or do you need me to order some more, just like, oh. No, no, no, I've got enough. I'm gonna have enough two lines and I'm going to come up and sleep. I'll put some valium by your bed.

I was thinking, as a 46 year old guy, there must be some sort of event which a lot of people go for. If they did gaxing at the Olympics, I'd be the best at it, I think. Do you fancy a bit? Lacer, do you fancy a bit? Lacer? Do you fancy a bit? Yeah, but also Charlie can't stay up till midnight talking to you because you haven't got any fresh air. Speaking of Charlie, I might have another quick bump, actually. That's what we name the boy after, innit?

That's what we named Charlie. Charles, King Charles. It's a mad thing, isn't it, all the names for that, like in drugs in general. that's where you start feeling old when you hear someone say, call a drug like, you know, smoking. I feel like an old man when I say smoking weed. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It's you know, it was really pretty when we when we

when we film with the boys from people just enough him. Like they have a dialect still now which makes me feel, they're like five years younger than me, some of them less than that. But they talk in a way that I'd say things and I automatically felt like the geek or like a dad driving them to a nightclub. The worst thing is where you start to try and use words that they're using. The worst thing is where you start to try and use words that they're using. That is when you know you've gone full self-conscious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also if you misplace it. I don't mind misplacing a really clever word,

but actually they use the word bait quite a lot. When we're writing together, they tell me, yeah, if that character does that, it's a bit bait. And I'm like, oh, that sounds quite cool when you say that. So then sort of like, at the end of that week, I sort of tried to use it and I could see them sort of look at themselves like I was a really bad sort of like middle school teacher.

I was thinking about getting Nando's, I was gonna go extra hot, but I thought that's a bit bait. What? My dad went through a phase, I can't remember if I've said this on him before, of using words that he liked and just putting them in like, yeah, he loved the word obsolete for a while, so he just used it in all different scenarios. And I've sort of done the same thing over time. I like a word that I just think I'm just going to absolutely, it's like a pair of trainers that you buy. I love when I get a word that I say, I'm going to absolutely fucking cream this word as much

as I can. Yeah. I'll be honest with you, I'm distinctly unsurprised if that's a hobby of yours or a habit rather. I feel like there's part of me when I wake up this morning and I've got myself ready to do this podcast, I say get myself ready, set the laptop up, put the top on, that I thought maybe I do need to have a bump because I've spent the last week at Center Parks. Wow. I did the, I did no work at all, really, because I was just on holiday.

Minimal. Minimal, yeah. He's a couple of emails or whatever, but that's it. And then I did my Radio 2 show yesterday and I felt like because I hadn't sort of been gigging or doing whatever My brain was slower man. Really like like, you know, you know when you're I just think it takes a little bit of time for you So I just feel like when you're busy doing gigs and stuff like that. You'll just match fit aren't you? You're primed in the pride. Yeah yeah, and then when I like

Started the radio show yesterday, I was like, I don't sort of feel like not ready to talk to the public. It was just like, it took a while to warm up, basically. Also, even the conversations you're having when you're on a family holiday are different from the ones that you... Even if you're just in a writing room or a green room or whatever, naturally the chat's a bit more comedic, innit? Yeah. How was Centre Parks, by the way? a bit more comedic, isn't it? Yeah. And that, yeah. How was Cineparts, by the way?

How was Survive at Cineparts? Cineparts was magical. I had a great time. You love Cineparts. You're a big advocate of Cineparts. Well, it's not that I'm particularly a big advocate. Oh, by the way, do we need to say add, or was it all paid for, or? I paid in, by the way, I paid more than in full,

because there's a couple of fuck-ups that I want to talk about, but... Oh, wow. But let's just say, not only did I pay the full price, I'm still waiting for some money back for that shit. But anyway. Wow. What, they messed up? Yeah, basically, there's a couple of books.

I don't want to go in too footed in case we've just done an ad that I've forgotten about. Do you know what I mean? It's going to go on after this Centerparts pull all their sponsorship. But no, we had a great time at Centerparts. Lightning can't strike twice, three times with that. Yeah, it can't strike a fifth time with that can it?

No, it's not a major thing. It's just that there's a, we were messing around with the bookings for activities as during the week, like changing our minds and then going, let's pull this and do something else. And then a couple of times I paid for shit and just because it was like sort of done in a rush on the website, I paid for a couple of activities that didn't come up. That's in like a paper.

Well, you didn't go to them or you didn't book them properly or? No, well, I don't think I booked, I think there was like a glitch or something or the wifi went funky or something. So it took the money, but I didn't, the activity. What's the wifi like at Center Park? Cause you're in the woods man.

Pretty good, pretty good. Really? It's pretty good. It's like if you've ever walked through the woods and thought I really want to be outdoors and in nature but also want to be able to Google who's the- We'll find out what a flower or a tree is. Yeah, we'll find out who the worst ever defender was

for Arsenal or whatever. Do you know what I mean? Like then it's hand it. Igor Stepanov, I'd imagine that would be the answer. He's up there, he was definitely up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should have had you with us. What a horrible trip that would have been.

No, it was really good. It was an amazing time. Did paintballing with the kids. Wow. There is something about doing something where you know your kids can get hurt, because obviously paintball hurts. Yeah, yeah.

I felt like, it was me, Charlie and Alex. Sorry, not Charlie. Charlie was too young. Me, Theo and Alex went to do paintball. Lisa and Charlie went off to do roller disco. Lisa, by the way, quite the roller skater. Really? Interesting when you find out sort of.

It's a really hot thing, roller skating. I still think even now, I think we're sort of like, it's a real, cause we're eighties boys. Yeah. Did you hear, I sort of had a bit of a thing, what about skating? I still think even now, I think we're sort of like, it's a real because we're eighties boys. Yeah. Did you hear? I sort of had a bit of a brag tonight. There's a bit of a brag. Yeah. Yeah. My wife, right. Yeah. She's pretty. Yeah. She's rather.

Skates nice. Yeah. She's pretty slick on the wheels. Pretty nice. Nice on the floor. Pretty bad on a pair of skates. But it was amazing, man. We had a great week. We did went bowling. So hold up, paintballing? Were you on the same team?

Yes, thankfully. But they made you like, so they gave me a safety talk and then they made you pull sticks or pick straws, whatever the fuck you want to call it, to see what team you're on. Thankfully. Did you pull rank? And did you say to the guy, look, I need to be with my boys? I can't shoot my kin? I let it go randomly. Luckily, we just ended up on the same team anyway. And I just became very worried about the boys. I don't know how to teach you.

Were you in the fact that you take a paintball for them? Yeah. I don't know if I'd take a paintball. I'd think about it, though. Definitely think about taking a paintball. No, in all seriousness, I knew the paintballs hurt. And so I had this bit of my heart that was feeling a bit worried about,

I didn't want them to get a, I didn't want them to get paintballs. But did you, was there any of those helmets who took it ultra seriously, Blake? Actually, do you know what? It's fun, like it's, that's exactly what my fear was, right? So I was being a bit of a sad sack on the way over there,

going, I don't know about this. And then like Theo and Alex go there. But they were pumped, I know those folks. They were buzzing for it, they were buzzing for it. But I just thought, if it's a load of people, not like us, but what I mean is just people that have just gone to just have a go at it, then it's fine. If you're gonna get some like, you know, it wouldn't happen at Centerparts,

but the absolute worst is imagine you turn up in a stag day with doing it or something, do you know what I mean? Like absolutely, absolutely horrendous. So I'm just gonna do, should we just do exclusively headshots? Yeah. And obviously the young ones are more difficult targets,

you get extra points if you caught one of them. You know, that was what I was worried about, but thankfully it was just like, it was regular. There's a couple of teenage lads, but as always, and I'm saying this as a parent of a teenager, teenagers, this whole reputation they have for being like shitty kind of antisocial, whatever, it's just bollocks. Do you know what I mean? Like every single time I've come up against you know touch touch between your legs there's a table here and touch touch with sorry god that would have been if that was what I thought was an idea of a joke. Fucking end the podcast now. Fucking the week at Cineparties got to.

It is absolutely. Teenage boarder humor. Yeah, yeah. Touch wood, I think you know what I mean. That we're in a forest full of trees, you couldn't touch anything. You didn't have to put your hand down your shorts. But no, it was great, man. It was great.

We did bowling and the swan, who's normally absolute shit at bowling, for some reason got into like a purple patch, beat the whole family. This is what I think is slightly great. Practice, practice, practice. She's been sneaking out of the day and practicing. I respect that more than anything I've ever heard about the swan. Well, do you respect this? She took a photo of the scoreboard. I actually do respect that, yeah.

Why? She's creamed you. She's creamed you and she's been the underdog. For you, you're a fucking, look, you've been posted. By the way, I can tell you fancy yourself as a king bowler because you've been posted. You've done some fucking sick stuff in your life, right? Some incredible stuff. There's been more bowling content on your page recently than any of the work that you've done. I'd have you say you promote your bowling career more than you promote your fucking this podcast. You posted four videos recently of you bowling and bowling backwards. So I can see you're a flamboyant bowler.

No, that was we were having a boys day out. Lisa had gone like, Lisa, so it's a release of God, the word to release a god Lisa got out separately. That's what I'm starting to wonder now. You know, she got a bowling coach. And so I was just having a laugh. I was saying, we'd let's just try and get some cool bowling videos. And then they came off. So then I posted them with regret. I'm not going to lie to you.

You know what? It's a nice sign of your parent that there is like, OK, boys, let's get some cool bowling videos. Just get that doing some cool bowling because you are smashing strikes like nobody's business. And then and then the kids are going away. I bowling you would sound like that. Yeah, boys. Yeah. Yeah.

Make sure you get dad, yeah? Dad up. So I'm gonna get this one. Can I do a video? Why don't we just keep it to the people that can sort of, they know what they're doing. All right, son. Maybe in a couple years.

Shut up Charlie. Charlie, go and get dad some vegan sausage rolls. Stop crying and get the iPhone running. Idiot. I should have brought a tripod instead of you. Had a wonderful experience in the Starbucks at the Center Park. Oh, yeah, this is beautiful. This is wonderful experience in the Starbucks at the center park. Oh yeah, this is beautiful.

This is lovely. Going to Starbucks, boys want some, whatever, whatever you get in Starbucks. I asked for a coffee. Well. They said, what's the name? Said Ramesh. Get the coffee, on the cup, the owl.

What a moment. What a moment, What a moment. What a moment. That is a sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet taste there. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? It's hard to make time for the things that keep you healthy, but being consistent with self-care is like working a muscle. And when life gets crazy, that muscle keeps you strong. Therapy is the ultimate self-care,

and BetterHelp makes it easy to get started with affordable online sessions you can do from anywhere. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com to learn more. That's betterH-E-L-P.com. I had a lovely moment yesterday. Actually, yesterday we were at another hotel in London. Went for a bit of food, for catch-ups with some friends. I should say that Carinthia went to the garden there, very nice.

As I was paying the bill, the guy said, how was it, sir? I said, it was lovely, thank you. Lovely, beautiful meal, thank you. My grace on this and other things to get onto, grace was a lot for everyone else in the restaurant. Sort of should have just gone, we should have gone to our usual,

like a Wagamama's or a Pizza Express, but yeah. And he went better than the Langhams. Oh, oh. And I was like, spicy, sir, spicy. And he just gave me a little wig. I thought, wow, yeah, yeah. I will say the Corinthians are suffering. And the Corinthians, by the way, Grace behaved in a way that

like she literally was sprinting. She was like she should have been at center parks. She was right, there's people there on a Sunday having like nice afternoon tea, people. And she was uncontrollable. She's got to an age now, she is no fucks given. Yeah, I kinda like that age. Yeah, it's a nice age to extend if you're not like

six foot seven trying to control her. And also, everyone in there made jokes about the fact that I have, like she's just got me wrapped around her finger. She ran behind the bar at one point and tried to just grab bottles of drink, which hopefully is an indication of who she's gonna turn into. I don't know if I like that age.

But, well, we're, I don't know, so when, the last time I did at the Edinburgh Festival was when Charlie was born. And we got Andy and Rich, no it was Andy and Tom Packman who used to work for Off the Curb and he still works for Off the Curb. They took us out for lunch. Andy Leach? Andy Leach, yeah.

Shout out Andy Leach. Good guy Leach, shout out Leach. And Tom Packman's a very nice guy. Shout out Leach Master. I don't know Tom Packman, I can't, I'm not going to start shouting so I'm going to have to admit. I'll take your word that he's a good guy but I'm not going to. well Tom. Patman's is a lovely guy. He's sort of off the curve Yeah, sure. He lives in a mom look. I'm not sure I can shout leachy leachy's an absolute

What what you see in the bully did to shout out for Tom Patman? No, but you shout you shout somebody that gave you a wink when they handed you a sandwich or something in a shop But Tom Patman doesn't get any love fair enough I mean some Patman on know if I meet Tom Pacman he's very positive about you I don't think he will be now I mean he listens to the podcast I'm not going to foot on him it's you you're just like you're Ike of Leachie who deserves a shout out a shout out and then you're like oh how about Pacman how about you? Sorry sorry you and I are friends right so if I vouch for somebody yeah if I've out for somebody that should be my word even in the mafia

You could I just say yes you're keeping the kid The moment he's not a made man right you've actually him I don't know I can't such it What if I shout him out and then about weeks time someone walks past me in his chair goes of Tom Patman mugged me last week. Yeah. All right. Christ, oh, yeah, but you were shouting him out on the podcast with Romesh. So sorry, I didn't know that that would happen. Okay, well, sorry. Tom Patman's fallen on hard times.

When did you last speak to him? We don't know what Tom Patman's become. Me? I spoke to him, well, look, the truth is, I spoke to him two days ago because he had a fire in his flat. And I just got in touch with him to sort of make sure he was all right.

But... Oh, well, You're an absolute prick! Yeah, look. That's... No, fuck him. Tom, if you listen to this, I know you've had a difficult week, but fuck you from Tom Davis. No, I didn't say fuck you, but it's a different thing. I'm not shatting him out, but I do feel bad at Pacman's and the Far East. No shouts to Tom Pacman because you worked it off the kerb before Tom could make any money off you so sorry mate you don't get a shout out. By the way what sort of fire was it? Apparently

well apparently the air conditioning unit at the back of the block that he's living in sort of went wrong caught fire and so he's lost a lot of shit. Anyway shout out Tom Packman only from the owl the wolf refuses to shit. Also look I'm not shouting out but I'm saying I hope shit comes right for you Packman. By the way Tom just to give you this is a guy that will shout out Coca-Cola all right. Anyway last time you were at Edinburgh, we started dressing like that. Yeah, last time I was at Edinburgh, so Tom Packman and Andy Leach took us out for lunch.

And we went to Nando's and Alex was sort of at Grace's age, right? You know, he was around that. And he ran, the way, the behavior you're describing about Grace is exactly what Alex was doing in Nando. He's running around, going to other people's tables, sitting at them, just running around, you know, as much as we could do not to stop him

from taking food from other people's plates. Oh no, no, Grace tried that, an afternoon tea. Yeah. So much so that Andy, in a roundabout way, suggested that it put him off having kids for a while That is that is what? Displayed in that but I gotta be honest I respect it. I love it. You know, I love that I adore that side of her. I think it's an incredible thing

But yeah, she's like, and like every time that I sort of say, cause she's a lot, Catherine goes, she's your daughter. She's your daughter. That's you. Cause Catherine's a very respectful person and there's an air of me that's probably, got the vibe to me as well.

Yeah. To be fair, if I'm honest with you, I don't think it was that long ago that I would have been running around doing that sort of thing. Yeah You're a rebel. Yeah, I'm not prankster in me. Yeah as a prankster in me. Um, have you um, how much have you got into the Olympics? Parsley watching I do know what I actually I know you posted about it alongside all the bowling stuff, but um, I Enjoyed the BMX in I enjoyed all sort of bike stunt stuff. That was good. That's good.

Oh, the women's rowing was insane. Us against the Dutch. That was phenomenal. Yeah. Did you see the men's triathlon? Oh, yeah. Oh my God, that was fucking insane. How mad was that? That overtake Alex Yee? But the fact that he heard Alex Yee, he heard his coach or his mentor in the crowd shout something. I know. Yeah, like anything can happen, was it? Anything can happen.

That's like the end of a movie you're watching in real time. Unbelievable. That got a lot of coverage, but did you see the horse riding as well, like when we won the gold in the last jump? No, I didn't see that. Like England, it was in Great Britain. It was insane, bruv, like insane. And the guy who won it got the best score of the day.

His dad won the gold at the 2012 Olympics with the other two guys. Can we beep out some say in England there? Yeah. Uh, it's really symptomatic of a lot of issues actually. Really symptomatic of a lot of issues, actually. Um... Um... Talking about Edinburgh, do you... I was at Edinburgh in 2012 doing a really cruddy show in the back of a pub.

Do you know what upsets me about that? Can I tell you what upsets me about that? I was in Edinburgh in 2012, right? And you know what slightly upsets me? That's two people that were going to go on to be the best of friends in the same city. Just didn't ever, just didn't ever happen. Could I tell you why? Why you were playing?

Tell me the venue where you were playing. In 2012, I think that must have been the year of Paterson and Ranganathan. So that would have been the White Horse. I think. Oh really? So you were playing Free Fringe? Yeah. what are you

suggesting? Okay let's get into what this narrative is. You basically you're trying to make out like you're a grassroots performer that's kept it real and you're like what you about says oh yes we were doing it on the free fridge and all you bougie establishment fucking pricks, Aeternites, who are all doing the big venues. Is that what you're a little... No, I thought you were a bigger noise than that at that point. No, I didn't do my first solo show till 2013. Oh, so a year after.

So, yeah, I mean, actually, White Horse, where is the White Horse? White Horse is, like, right down from the mile. Like, it's sort of towards, I don't really even know the geography of it, but it's like down towards, down towards Arthur's Sea, I wanna say, maybe that's where. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

The place we, oh, I know the one, yeah, yeah. I think Sterling had a show there one year. Maybe. Maybe he's in there. Yeah, maybe he's erased history, French appearance out of history like you did mine. I was doing a show with Dan Schreiber from the podcast No Such Thing As A Fish and we were in the back of a pub and it was, it should never have had anyone performing.

It was so rowdy and so, it was a fun pub to drink in but not one to perform in right but they had the Olympics on at the time yeah and quite and also as a phenomenal Olympics for Great Britain there was a lot of time where people walk out halfway through the show to go in we were on like five o'clock in the afternoon and people just go off and just stop halfway through go oh Jessica Ennis is running so would just start getting out and walk it. It was awful. And we had no accommodation but me and Dan Schreiber. So we ended up like sofa-surfing.

How did it go? Are you still mates with him? Yeah, I like Dan. Yeah, Dan's phenomenal. Dan is a brilliant stand-up, by the way. He just didn't, I think, genuinely, I think that experience put us both off stand-up for a long, long time.

Yeah, I mean, he's doing very well now, so he's probably all right I mean thanks for vouching for him, but I don't really know the guy so I'm not gonna Jimmy you are you are I mean I admire that I respect that but the cocky smile I could tell that you're touching wood as you're doing it Shrivers a dog do you never get with Dan Shriver? I didn't get with him. I do know him a bit.

I'm being a prick. I do know him. Yeah. He's a nice guy. He's a shout out. He's a real talent. And listen, Dan, the other thing I'd say is if you're good enough for Tom Davis, you're good enough for me, mate.

You know, that's how solid my friendship is. But fuck you, Pacman. Look, listen, there's a part of me that wants to go to Pacman's house with some fucking stuff now because I'm worried about him because of the fire Yeah, and that's where I want to our friendship to start I want to turn up not gonna still go Patman Tom Davis and he'll go. Hey, man Fuck you know what you're doing here. I'm like let them the our Romesh Ranganathan vouchers for you, bro So here's some sundries say isn't it pronounced Ranganathan?

Okay, here's some bits of both for you, some biscuits, some underpants, some toilet paper from the fire, because of the fire and stuff. Yeah. Don't know what other stuff you lost. Yeah. It's an old train of stuff I'm not wearing anymore. Yeah. No, it's good of you. It's really good of you. What size are you? I'm a size nine. All right, there's a size 12. Wear a couple pairs of these socks. I'm also throwing nine. All right. There's a size 12. We're kind of pairs of these socks. I'm also thrown in. Can we sort of toilet paper? Can we can we segue to something a bit? Well, actually something we were talking about before the podcast. But yeah, well, a couple of depressing things.

One is I have had text messages from both Rob Beckett and Josh Whitacombe asking if I'm hosting the new Art Attack. And can I just say, by the way, this, like, your, um, I mean, JT arguably could have put the whole thing of you, like, we could have done a version of you actually saying you're not doing it. I've been contacted more about you doing Art Attack. Like, your idea that you talk about Art Attack on the podcast and say you're not doing it and that'd be the end of it.

If anything, it's spoiled out of control. It's made it worse, if anything, it feels like. Yeah, by the way, can I say there's a group, there's a thing on Facebook, there's a post about this Art Attack news. Number one, I'm gonna say this now, look, and I don't mean to cause any offense if I do, that, you know, and also because you are sort of,

well, you're not relaunching Art Attack, we can confirm that you're re, Art Attack wasn't as great, but like, like there's a group, right, on Facebook, talking about you being the new presenter of Art Attack and you bringing back Art Attack. The aggression and anger that's shown, Art Attack wasn't that fucking good a show.

It wasn't that great. It was a scene. There was a better art show when we were kids. With fucking, sorry, Ball's Dad was a better fucking show by a long way. That was an incredible show. What was that one called? The maths one. No, no, no. He did an art show. He had morphed in it. Do you talk about that? That heart fucking hell that's not so people's dad I thought it was so bulls dad oh god you've been on friends round Friday haven't you thank god you didn't say that Zoe Ball Johnny Ball was did the math stuff Tony Hart did the art show That'll make more sense they've got a different surname. I was for that. That was Tony art. Why did I think that? Oh

Man sorry Zoe. That's really bad. I feel terrible now. Zoe's a legend as well, I should say. She is, yeah. As was Johnny Paul. Yeah, Johnny Paul was an absolute don. He's the only person in my life who's ever made me like maths. But I was like- Well, I put it in about a minute ago.

He thought he made you love art. Look, yeah, but Tony Hart, right? Well, that was, that was a better art show. No, listen, look, look. No, it was a good show. It was a good show. It's not something for people to jump with. I'd arguably say right, people have gone into a level right and I've been tagged a lot in it because of the podcast and whatever else I've been added in. Some of the racial language and the aggression shown about, I'm like look we have a fucking far wider problem in 2024 with this evidently in the last fucking fortnight week right that's

absolutely terrifying but I would say that if you were to look at that that that page and go well this this is just this is a mere mention that a guy from Sri Lanka might be presenting our attack and the racial fucking aggression shown is that if you want to see how what where we are as a country right now, have a look there. Yeah, that is it is like it is mental and people like you're looking at people like wow, right. Someone's written saying this disgusting and you look at the person thinking, okay, someone's written something that's disgusting. And you look at the person thinking, OK, like this would just be like... Well, like two of the guys... A relatively normal looking person, like a woman who's like, you're like, oh my God. I got tagged in it and obviously there's lots of people going what the fuck do you know about art, which I think is a fair point.

But the point is, let me just reiterate, I am not hosting Art Attack. I'm not rebooting Art Attack. It's not even Art Attack, is it? No, there's a new art show that my production company are making that I am not hosting, okay? It's not Art Attack. art show that my production company are making that I am not hosting okay it's not art attack but what I and fair enough people think our rubbish is not an artist I'm not saying I'm nice I'm not in I'm not doing the show okay so like so I'm getting absolutely two-footed for something I've never

fucking been attached to but that's what I mean is yeah someone messaged me saying that Neil Buchanan is like a multi, multi millionaire because he sold off the, it was his idea of Art Attack and he sold off the license, like the idea for it. Yeah, I know, I bought it because I'm hosting it. No, don't, like, listen, I'm not hosting Art Attack. What I don't, if people think like, I saw a lot of comments like Romesh's and everything,

fair enough, I get that a lot. Is there anything he won't do? Fair enough, get that a lot. Does he know anything about art? No, I don't. There's an art episode of War for Now that's in the archives that you'll never hear that is testament to that.

What I don't think, the two comments that stick out that we were talking about before the podcast, one, okay, Tom doesn't want to say it because it's too distasteful. Why are they giving the darkies everything? Right? That was one of the comments. The other one, shouldn't he be hosting Curry Attack? Yeah.

Like, if you look at that, that post is about they might, this is the gist of the post. They're rebooting a show. They're rebooting a children's art show. And this brown man is rumored to host. That is what the post is, right? The insane thing is, children's art show. And this brown man is rumored to host. That is that is what the post is. Right.

The same thing is it's the aggression, even in like the ones that aren't being overly like the aggression is just insane. Like I was not, I was genuinely embarrassed and ashamed as I looked through that as where we are in 2024 as a country. I mean, look, you know, it's been a pretty embarrassing week full stop this week, but that was just like, well, that is like, you know, about getting too heavy, because one of the things I have noticed

is whenever I talk about race, I get told that I always talk about it. But I would say as a person of color, as you are, Tom, no, as a person of color, I would say when you see those rights, and I'm fully aware it's a minority of people, right? And I'm fully aware it's a minority of people that are disenfranchised, that have been misled, misguided into blaming immigration for all of the country's woes and tangentially to that, blaming people of color

for a lot of their issues, right? Get them home or get them out of my country was a chant that they were doing. Get them out. I'm telling you now, and any person of color will tell you this, you sit there and I'm a British person, I was born here, right? I sit there watching that going, these people don't think I'm British, and I now feel less welcome. You know, like, I feel less welcome in the country I was born in. You can't help feeling like that. You watch it and you go, that is,

I thought that I was a British person and you get a couple of bits of racism here and there. Now I'm watching that going, there are significant numbers of people that one don't consider me British, and there are a number of them that want me out of the country. Do you know what I mean? I fear for my mum is an immigrant. I just feel like, I know it's, I know that in, and look, I've been cheered up by seeing people sort of condemn all of this, right? And that is obviously a lovely thing to see.

But the fact of the matter is there are enough people that there are big riots going on and these people are saying we want our country back and it's fucking frightening. You know, that is the truth of it. But I think that, you know, and you saying that and speaking to other friends is like, number one, it just, you know, there's a, I feel such sadness

in my heart, just like, such sadness, because it's something that you, you know, you heard about this sort of behavior generationally before, you know, we were around, you know, and we, you know, you thought, you know, your mum and dad as immigrants, that was something they dealt with and hopefully as a country and as people, that would be something that never ever raised its head again. We've been naive to say it was never around, but seeing what we're seeing at the moment, I think the level of shame I think like

You feel watching that stuff. It just feels so and whenever I talk to any any any of my friends who have been affected by it or I just feel so sad because I just think I Think firstly is such a present bizarre thing to think like when you say you want your country back Who do you want it back from? I know it's just so bad. What's that even mean and it's like attacking a guy who's driving a fucking Uber what do you think he's the guy what the guy who's fucking out probably working fucking 18 hours a day trying to fucking feed his family it's like what you think he's the guy taking your country like he's without a doubt fucking having to pay tax. He's having to pay

everything because he's fucking working for a massive corporation. But my point is it's like the level of aggression and the level of blame. And yeah, it makes me sad when I see it across, you know, not just on the news, you see it from people that you might have gone to school with or people that you might have known over the years post something. And you think, fuck man, this is so like, how could people have got so far away from what the truth is and so angry? And And you realise that how little is needed really for things to turn in such a negative and terrifying way. Yeah, I mean like... And it makes me scared.

It makes me scared genuinely as a father. I just think, fuck, like, you know, if we learn nothing, is it, like, is this really where we're at? And is this really who we're blaming? And is this really... and what do you think? No, when I think of Southport man, I'm like, you know and and what happened there? I'm like for people to have used as political leverage. Well that I mean Frightening thing is that the trigger is so far away from what people are writing about and

And what is is like they've used that to light the fuse, you know, and it's just so depressing. And you sort of, part of me wants to be sympathetic to the people writing in terms of like, you feel like what these are are people that are just misguided and they're blaming the wrong things and they've become angry because they're disenfranchised and because they feel like shit's gone wrong for them or whatever and they want somebody to blame or something to blame or a group to blame.

And there's part of it that goes well, you know, there's part of me that doesn't, look, their actions are abhorrent and disgusting. And there are some people that are not doing it because They're politically might be not politically minded, but there's some people that are not doing it because they want to be part of a cause They're doing it because they just fancy getting involved in some like naughty shit But for the people that are just doing it because they feel vindicated by what's happening You feel like they just need a bit of educating, do you know what I mean? Or just like these things that you're blaming on these groups of people, on Muslims or black and brown people, you're just getting it wrong. But, you know, as part of your

things, it's not like condemning them as fucking idiots is one way to go. But the truth is, is that actually, you know, some conversations need to be had But the truth is, is that actually, you know, some conversations need to be had or just like, is there a way? It's so difficult. But how do you do that? I don't, I don't know how. But it's what it's like, you know, not to go too deep into it is like, but the least educated, most underperforming group of people and has been for generations is white men, white male pupils are usually the bottom group of most classes of most schools of most years. So their education at a young age is coming from places that we've talked

about before about the places it's coming from. When it comes to the stuff that we've seen this week, there's a massive political fucking slide to what that is, right? There's a massive political, but also there's anger. And when you see people releasing anger and you watch that being released, people just follow. And sometimes it's just the matter of following a crowd and thinking, well, actually, this is going to get rid of how I feel right now And this is gonna hopefully so There's a part of it that you think You know that a lot of them are just joining in because it's there and it's saying to do it

It's and it's silly as that sounds is it's like that morning They they could have woken up a gun while I don't necessarily feel one way or another But as things has transpired during the day and they've watched this stuff happen I don't necessarily feel one way or another, but as things have transpired during the day and they've watched this stuff happen, they feel, well no, fuck it, I feel like I wanna fucking go and throw a fucking rock or I'm gonna fucking smash up a car or,

people, and people follow it. It's what we saw in a lesser extent when that thing happened at Wembley a couple years ago and people, you know, people had turned up just without a ticket just to go and stand outside the stadium or someone was rushing the stadium because it was a mob mentality. Yeah.

And that's awful. That's terrible. And that is going to. And people will then a lot of those people in a whim will be behaving in a way that is a borne is terrible, it's awful. But people forget like I was I lived in London during the London riots. Like people were like during the London riots, people like, oh, I've got away with it. And four years later, there's a knock at the door and the police are there.

And they're like, well, you know, you're gonna lose some time for this. It's, you know, and looking at, I don't know if you, like I was watching the thing yesterday about some of the people that they've picked out for the, and there's people of, people with jobs and people with businesses are now, there was a woman I think in the Sunderland riots and she was like pushing bins and fucking,

you know, those massive like bins at the police. Within an hour and a half of this video of her going up, they found who she is, her business, and the police have raided her house. Who for what? I know. It's like, I think the thing that makes me sad is that one of the first things, you know,

I grew up in a working class area, I grew up around a diverse group of people, I grew up in a place where I like, I think, I've always prided myself on thinking generationally, like, you know, we're all in this together, you know, you're sort of, and I guess you feel people, as I've said before, I'm not naive and stupid enough to think that, I've talked about this openly, that racism isn't a thing, but I didn't think it was at the level that people would be. I know, I know. That's that. Like so openly and the thing that frustrates me most is it's so misguided and it's so, I just don't see what good comes from it, from any of it. Like the cities that sounds, obviously that says, but it's just like, I don't see there

being any kind of win for anyone. And it just makes you sad. It makes you sad. When we talk about 2012 and you think back to then and what we were as a country, which was this diverse country, it felt like a beacon of hope with people from all different walks of life who came in and we felt there's a togetherness you know Auntie Joshua, Mo Farah, whoever like people of colour who came here and were winning golds and they were like lauded as being champions and and they were like what felt like a whole new world of like hope

and then 12 years later you look at and think well what happened there like what happened where is that gone? Where has that feeling gone? And you're Olympics now. And the flip of it is you're cheering people, that you're watching people be cheered, that on the other hand, you're like, well, how can they feel welcome?

How can they feel like this is? And these people are all born here. They're all right. Most people in this country, I am, I'm not fucking, from Irish heritage, I'm not fucking, do you know what I mean? I've got as much Irish heritage as I've got English, if you're gonna be really fucking bang on a bump, more Irish than I am English, actually in my DNA. So you look at it and think, this is fucking insane.

It's insane that we're what we get. If you look, there was an interesting thing I saw someone put up, the England team. The England team without any immigration, without any immigrant at all, I think it was mad, it was like Harry Kane. I think literally that was it. That was a maybe Pickford, I think.

I can't remember exactly, but it was insane. You take that away, and that's the squad. It's mental. I mean, I think it's unlikely they'd field two players. They'd probably find some of us. Yeah but bro, it would be a good team. And I'll tell you what, you'd be happy with a fucking semi-final then.

But look, anyway, sorry, I know that the podcast is supposed to be us just chatting shit and a bit of escapism, but it's what me and Tom talks about as soon as we logged on, so apologies for chatting about that. We should probably try and lighten it somehow, shouldn't we? Yeah, yeah. You know what I love about you, Rob, is you put it right at the end, as I've got to try and sum up.

I know. Should we try and find something else? Is there anything else you want to talk about? I mean Something a bit lighter. Mm-hmm. I thought I had a hemorrhoid this week, but it just turned out that I'd sort of strain Too hard. It wasn't a full hemorrhoid. All right, so okay. That's so anything else Stubbler so With these the candies aren't positive stories. No, itubbitoe screamed quite loudly in the street.

Are we got... Oh, actually, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is quite an interesting thing. A bit of a lighter note. I got a message from a woman, right? OK. I'll read it out to you. I'm going to read it out to you.

I'm going to read this out to you because I thought... I mean, actually, weirdly, it sort of leads on quite nicely to what we were talking about in a sense, I think. Where is it? Oh, OK. I mean, actually, weirdly, it sort of leads on quite nicely to what we were talking about in a sense, I think. Where is it? Oh, OK. This woman has written... Do you dare me to scream, oh yes, Ramesh, whilst my middle-aged, white, forty-something boyfriend is making sweet, sweet love to me? What?

That's degenerately... Is that the whole message? That's degenerately... Yeah. Why have they sent you that? And the person, by the way, doesn't follow me. So I think I'm guessing she's a big fan of you. Is it Lisa? No, no, no.

I won't say her name. No, no. So that's an interesting thing. I wanted to go, yeah, I do date you. That would be a, yeah. Well, I'd love somebody to be screaming at. Well, you're at the right, mate. Well, actually, I didn't have a problem with anything until

about a week ago, I was making love to my sweet wife and she shared that Romeshie. It's one thing that- Who's Romesh? Well, the guy's just doing art, hey. He's the guy doing art, hey. It's one thing them coming to our country, but still into our fucking fucking bedroom into our wives heads

He's destroyed new book had it Yes, I thought that's good Do us a favor if you hear anybody saying that I'm rebooting our attack and I'm hosting it Can you just tell him no, I'm not. It'd be really helpful. Maybe we can try and tackle this one at a time. All right, well look. I mean to be fair, there's a part of me that's quite enjoying the whole Art Attack.

I mean, aside from that Facebook thing, quite a few people have said to me, oh wow, your mom is just doing Art Attack, and I'm like, yeah, I know, she's excited about it. Yeah, Rob texts me and he says, let me see if I can find it. Oh, I've got a little text from J2 here. Rob's texted me saying, this is quite funny actually,

are you hosting an art attack? And I said no. And then I just explained what's happening. He said, that's a shame, because I wanted to piss myself laughing watching you lay tires on a recreation ground then run up to some scaffold to see if it looks like a skateboarder. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ah! That would be sick. It would be sick. OK, Tom, I think we've sufficiently cleansed pallets, haven't we? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, by the way, just before we get into this, exciting news. After we did the studio record, which Tom and I are both in

agreement is better it's just nice to see each other isn't it face to face it's a chill it's a chill it's a nice one so we've now locked in a load of dates for the autumn you're gonna be hearing a lot more studio wall for now let's just put it that way. It's gonna be a sweet, sweet time. Well, I'm looking forward to it, baby. Anyway, Tom, take us out, my G. Yo. Yo, sorry. Yo.

The other day, I was driving home with my sweet, sweet family, and I saw some fireworks on the horizon. I thought, whoa, hold up, life. Remember the 5th of November? This isn't November. Why are their fireworks? Truth of the matter is, it was a family. We drove past them and they were just lighting up

some fireworks and enjoying themselves. I guess I wanted to see the sparkles in the sky just to realize quite how amazing the sky is at night. Sometimes when you look up, it's not really about the fireworks, it's going wow, bang, whiz, hey look, some stars. That's the truth of the matter is God or the universe or whichever way you wanna see it has laid out a carpet of stars

that are pretty tremendous anyhow. You don't really need fireworks. But that's not my point, my point is this. Why do we need a day where we celebrate with just fireworks? Can't that be any day and I'm not talking about fireworks because I think they're pieces of shit and pricks. My point is this, why wait till Christmas to celebrate people that you love? Why wait till a birthday to text someone and say, yeah I hope you're well? Sometimes, every day should be Christmas,

birthdays, fireworks day, Easter even. Shit, I don't need an excuse to eat an egg of chocolate but I can't buy one in April. Actually I can because that is Easter what I'm talking about is November. We wait so many so much of time for these special occasions to start a new you on the 1st of January. Shit bro start that stuff on the 5th of June doesn't really matter what my point is this always look forward always look round but don't wait for a special day to start, celebrate and reach out. Every day is special and we're none of them given. Really nice, really nice work.

Thank you, Jim. I felt bad about using fireworks because I actually hate fireworks. Yeah, I know you do. You really don't like fireworks. Okay, for the... How much were you across the Kendrick Drake beef Tom I saw was dipping in and out if only so I found it a bit muggy when people get really into it Well Kendrick did a song. I'm not gonna suggest that we play this song. Oh hold up before we start let the little He's trying to get oh I can't see her. You see her there? She won't wear clothes at the moment. Anyhow.

No, that's fine. Uh, we had that with us. Um, so anyway, he did a song called Not Like Us that went massive, right? Biggest song of the, biggest song of the year so far. And in that song, it's basically him laying into Drake. And I, look, I'm not a Drake fan. I'm a Kendrick fan, but I did feel for Drake. Cause I did think, imagine the biggest song

of the year so far just being played in the clubs and people shouting certified pedophile about you. I mean, I don't know what that does to your mental health, but anyway, Drake, I hope you're all right. But he has put out a song with a house producer called Gordo called Sideways and it's absolutely amazing. I really love it.

So the fact that Drake can still be putting out music, I think is a miracle, you know, without a big... not like us, Scott. So, Sideways by Gordo and Drake. JT, could you play us out with a little bit of that? I love that song. Do a little bit of chilled vibes. You know what I mean? After what has been a hell of a ride.

Yeah. Thank you so much for listening. Sorry we got serious, but we had to. You know, we tackle the big issues here on The Wall For Now. We'll see you next time. Boom. Bye If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.