Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 51: Oasis Investigations & Despicable Rom

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

We’re talking… the Oasis reunion gigs, big blags and fake fans, a dinner party investigation, an imaginary Knight Rider car, Diggerland dads, household chores, birthday meal delays, gendered hobbies and Rom’s mysterious Despicable Me disappearance. Plus, more of our ‘conversation starter’ role plays - and this time we’re a at a busy house party and the horse races too. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee, up to five percent off orders and five percent uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get uber one for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Yo, yo what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves, then podcast a body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler, that ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows, have the crowd witnessing the murder like they're rolling with a gang of crows

Fuck their censorship, let em see the whole thing, they stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear's a huff a puff and a huff Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing its head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Wolf and owl inside the place, I the please tell your friend the wolf now inside the place we know Honey, oh my gosh inside the place at the Spotify studio

Oh, we should have got changed because we've done two episodes in a row Romesh Tom wolf Ow does it ever like you know like with the not change what I keep thinking like when we do these in the studio We need to bring like a change of clothes. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I know I mean you could take up you got a t-shirt Yeah, yeah, I do but there's no putting one of us getting changed. Yeah, but I just make my parker up and go Oh, by the way, that's what yeah. Well, did you get crazy about the IASIS thing? No, because it's not I'm not a big enough. I think Oasis are great. Don't at me. Mm-hmm. I love them I think I was sort of Nebo. Yeah, but I'm not big enough fan to go see him. I know I look so Actually Tom I'd go as far as say it's my duty is duty

The duty of casual fans like myself to step aside and let the hardcore Oasis fans go and have their fun. What I've noticed is it's, so there's a weird thing that happens isn't there of like, I've got friends now who are talking about spending thousands of pounds on tickets, which I'm not going to do. It's the same people. High beasts. Yeah, who went to the Euro final and were obsessed, you know, we've got to go, it's

a moment in time. I love Oasis. We've got to go, it's a moment in time. I love IASIS, some of my happiest memories of big gigs that I've gone to, concerts, IASIS, whatever. But I just couldn't, there was people when I was on holidays just sitting on their laptops and they spent a day like getting tickets. It puts a lot of pressure on that gig, doesn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. Do you want to know, my plan is I mean I'm undermining it now Wait for the gigs to happen. Yeah, talk some people and then in years to come I'll have enough stories to pretend that I went have you done it before? No, but it was something I considered because I sort of thinking about like but not genuinely considered But like if you think about what what what those people want from going in the year ice final Yeah, what they want from going to the Wases gig to say yeah, it's to go. I was there

Yeah, it's possible to say that without going that's all I'm saying Yeah, but you know that happens there was like I was brought to my attention recently about that guy that June the atrocity remember years ago in Paris the terrorist attacks and the guy who ended up pretending he was there I mean listen look for full disclosure disclosure we're back to back here on these episodes. The last one went quite dark, we went to the toilet had a coffee, Tom here at Spotify kindly got us a coffee and we're like should we go into this lighter? I started off talking about Oasis, now he's talking about the fucking Paris attacks. No no no but my point is if someone who lied about getting there and then he got found out. Right. And my point like... No one's gonna investigate whether you went to

go and see Oasis or not are they? I think it's just a big old egg on your face if they find out you weren't there. How do they find out? I mean obviously you could go back to this episode of the pod. I'm saying like in a sliding doors thing where I didn't have a podcast and I just did it, who's gonna stop me yeah that's true yeah but I mean imagine the gigs not happen yet but just like all right let's do it that's right we're at a dinner party you're there with Lisa I'm Martin Quinn who you know I've just moved out of that big plot of land you got next to your house I've just moved in there with my wife okay Celeste yeah well let me tell you

this very unlikely we'd be at dinner together But okay, so my Romesh your comedian. Yeah, you're you right you're there please everything about me is the same I'm I said this on the podcast No, you've got so this is a point where you like Martin has knocked around at yours He said I've just bought a big pot of land. You've seen the house been has been built. Yeah, this is in ten years from now. Okay. Oh pot of land. You've seen the house has been built. This is in 10 years from now. Okay. Oh thank you for both coming over. You both look amazing. Lisa, you look gorgeous. I did mention I was vegan, didn't I? Yeah, yeah and we have an asparagus fiasco for you. Fiasco? Yeah, it's Celeste makes it. It's actually

homegrown asparagus from our garden. I don't know if you know, as we have an allotment here. We want to talk to you about the irrigation you've got set up there for the asparagus, actually. Well, that's for another day. I think let's keep it as simple as we can. I couldn't help but notice your new tattoo there. Is that Liam Gallagher? It's not new, actually. I got it about eight years ago. Oh, really? Because do you remember they did those gigs? Oh yeah, yeah we went didn't we?

We had a great time. Yeah, I still actually, I went. Well at least it didn't come with me, I went. Is that true, really? Oh wow. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. I didn't see you as being a big Oasis fan.

I'm not a massive fan, but it's just. Oh that was one thing that really annoyed me in Celeste. It was these half-baked fans who turned up kids who just sort of like jumping on any kind of high kid I was in my late 40s oh yeah I can see obviously now you're 58 59 so okay the dinners later than I thought how did you find the gigs did you enjoy them it's just amazing isn't it to sort of be I, you know. I thought it was life-changing.

I think amazing is an understatement. I don't know if it's life-changing. I mean, it changed me in a way. I got the tattoo, but. Well, I guess the thing for me is when they started playing Live Forever, it just made me think, huh, you know what? Maybe that's true.

Maybe this is a moment that will live forever. Did you think that? I don't, well, I guess so. I mean, I was quite drunk at the gig, so I don't know if I... But you were singing along to Live Forever, I can imagine. I was singing along to a lot, to all of it, really. Oh, right, yeah, yeah.

I mean, some of it, they played some stuff that I didn't know, like Full Disclosure, you know, Hands Up. You'd know Live Forever is one of their biggest songs? Um, yeah, I know Live Forever, yeah. So you sang along to Live Forever? I don't think I did, no. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, I'm not really a singer-alonger, to be honest. Yeah, yeah, I don't think you're invested enough in the gig if you're not singing along. Well, I guess different people have different ways of kind of attending a gig, don't they? I kind of just sort of throw my... Did you wear a parka? Um, no, well, it was sort of rainy wasn't it? So I did wear a parka there I think, but I don't think I kept it on for the duration.

If you're asking me if I tried to look like Liam, no. Hmm, oh yeah, yes, yeah. Sorry, is this an investigation? No, no, no. You were showing off that you were at the gig. No, no, no You were showing off that you're at the gig No, no, but you asked I'm trying to piece this all together. You have a Liam Gallagher tattoo, but then you say you're not a big fan of Oasis it's no what happened was I wasn't a big Oasis fan. Like I was a obviously Oasis are an amazing band

Yeah, and I was lucky enough to get tickets to the gig So then I went to the gig and then it was such a great gig that I ended up getting the tattoo my problem would be as you're aware because you are a neighbor these houses are not cheap and I wouldn't want to spend nearly seven million pounds on a house and a plot of land to find out I'm living. First of all can I say if you paid seven million pounds and I don't want to upset you if you paid seven million pounds for a don't want to upset you if you paid seven million pounds for a Property next to ours and you got fucked. Yes, but I'd be even more fucked if I was to find out I was living next door to a liar

What is it you're sorry what is it you're accusing me of well the trouble is You were very invasive around the Live Forever questioning. And I know as I spent 42 years in the army, the reason you were being evasive is you weren't at the concert. If you were at the concert, you'd know that they didn't sing Live Forever. Now, you had thought this. That's why you didn't want to be too specific as to name any of the songs that I was questioning you about, because you don't remember any of of the songs because you weren't at the concert. And I think you've got this tattoo of Liam Gallagher as a conversation starter, much like a lot of the other tattoos I've seen you show off about on your numerous chat show appearances. I think that you are

a philanthropist and I think you are a lot of it. Philanthropist is a massive compliment. What else are you going to say about me, an intellectual? No, far from it. Now, if you could finish up your Asparagus Fiasco, Lisa, you're more than welcome to stay. Martin, do you mind me asking you a couple of follow-up questions following this sort of, you don't mind me saying, quite front-footed interrogation with regards

to whoever I attend in this concert. You, you're conducting this chat in the manner of a man that's sort of indulging in a role play that he knows what the agenda of is. Well, you know, because what I would say, Martin, if I could put to you, ordinarily, if somebody said, did you go to that gig? You go, yeah. You would then you would go, wasn't it a great gig?

And then the other person go, yeah. And then you move on. I, for some reason, which if you don't mind me saying undermines the experiment completely, you've decided to really push me on very specific details. I think in the scheme of this, if it was a role play, and I'm completely in character now, it would be a short role play if I was to say, did you go to that gig and you was to say yes, the character of Martin is an intellectual one, it's also someone who spent 22 years in the army.

Not the 42. No, I spent 20 years in MR5. Martin, might I put it to you that If if I am the big lie there accused of you of maybe we deserve to be in the same cell in the liar prison Because just a few moments ago You insisted that you spent 42 years in prison and in the course of a few minutes 20 years has dropped off your time Yes, but Yes, but I spent 20 years in the MI5, in the intellectual division of spying. The intellectual division of spying at the MI5. Yes, spying in inquisitive minds.

Martin, I'm going to ask you a question. And I'll accept whatever answer you give me. Has anyone diagnosed you as being emotionally stunted. I know you can leave your asparagus fiasco and you and your wife can leave and if you see us over the garden fence I would endeavor you not to say hello. Listen let me tell you something for nothing. If I happen to see you over the garden fence I will firmly look the other way Martin. Can I say that first of all the asparagus fiasco was a fucking shambles and might I say to both you and your wife you're a pair of horrible

See but that you've got to be careful if you're going to mount up into a light as big as the ice thing because you could get fat yeah yeah but I don't feel like look and also you've got this cool disposition of sort of like a happening hip guy Like if you are like gonna go into sort of toe-to-toe with something that big that could undermine everything that you stand for Also, by the way, if Martin was to listen to back episodes you were talking about showing off the other day about your Eminem and Snoop Dogg Shouting and Dre and you would you would sing it along so my might be, he is a singer, he likes music. Well, I mean, look, it's okay, but possibly, what I could do, say for example, I decided I wanted to create this illusion

that I went to see the Oasis gig. I could in the next week or so, or the next few, whenever the gigs are happening. When are they actually happening? Next year. So in the lead up to next year, I could start going, fucking hell, you're not going to believe this.

I've actually managed to not going to believe this. I've actually managed to get tickets to Oasis. What I'm saying is, if I really wanted to make this work, I could build it into the. There's a boy at my school like you who basically told everyone he went to Disneyland when we were kids. So for two weeks over summer holidays, he didn't come out and play.

And then he basically came back and said he'd spend two weeks in Florida. What a great two weeks for that kid, by the way What a result Can I can I okay? I do want to say something. I am that kid really in a way I Not to that degree, but I used to just make up shit to try and make kids like me. Yeah, I told I told I Told everyone in like me. Yeah, of course, we all did that. I told everyone in my school that I had a night rider radio control car that talked. I didn't, obviously.

How old were you at this point? Seven or eight. So I said, I've got this night rider radio control car. And they said, oh, what does it do? And I said, it looks exactly like the car. and it's got like the like it looks like it Yeah, it talks and stuff and then they go and what does it do that kit can do they didn't ask us aggressively They went like Martin. Yeah They got a what can it do and I got it shoots out like a little laser and stuff like that

Do you know how mad is this one? I told kids at school that I had a laser gun at home that shot out lasers. This is when you were at school? Yeah, I was probably a little bit older. I was probably 12 or 13 at this point. You went down to the reception. Have you seen that?

Where's Tom Davis? Oh, he's walking around the junior school telling you when he's got a laser at home. I think you should probably be on the right to, yeah but I had a similar thing of like yeah that small things but not something as big as I'd for two weeks I'd completely f*** it in. Disneyland was a big one wasn't it for our age? Yeah. As in like if you went to Disneyland that's a f*** that's a huge step. You were the Don Dada. Yeah you were like social standards could just increase you could fly up the ranks. I never got close to going

We I didn't get on a plane till I was 16. No, I never yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you've been that have you been is that? Yeah, I've not I would hope now you're not still relying on your parents to fucking take you. It's within your grasp Kiddo is something that might happen. Also, I don't know if it's got the same sort of like... Mate, magical. No, no, but yeah, but has it still got the same... Cachet? Yeah, cachet it's got.

No, I don't think so. I think you're taking Grace to Pepper Pigland. Yeah, we've been to Pepper Pigland. Good. I said that so braggily, didn't I? No, I know, I quite liked it. I like it when you get Big Dick. Big Dick about Peppa Pig.

It was alright, it was good. Yeah, they liked it. Have I talked to you about Diggerland on this? No. Oh my God. Go on. So when we were doing a tour down in the West Country, there's a Diggerland down there. I take, I think I was saying to you during the day with Grace and Catherine. So saying Grace, she enjoys cars, she enjoys diggers, trucks and stuff.

So we take her along. It's an absolute fortune to get in. Right. And then when you get in, it's like insane. It's just basically like a field with diggers. Yeah. No, but what I love the most, right, is you had men of our age, fathers, who it clearly sort of transpired who wanted to be there more than the kids. There's not a lot for kids to do that, if I can be really, really honest with you, but the dads were then like, there was one dad, for example, me and Catherine saw and he was, he'd been in the digger for about 40 minutes and his wife went, come on, John, seriously, come on.

We're getting, we need to get the food, kids some food. And he went, you're going to ruin the whole of the digger experience for me. And he, he, he'd taken off his jacket and he was just in a t-shirt. Like doing a job, I suppose because I worked in that sort of environment for a long time, I know quite boring is just to sort of like be lumping about stuff or you know, it was a brag off work if you could get to work

in a digger. But it was quite interesting just to see it became quite a sort of like toxic environment around these men. So you wish it's not with Diggerland? Oh no, no, no, Diggerland's Diggerland. No, no, but it was what it did to a lot of like toxic environment around these men. So your issue is not with Diggerland? Oh no, no, no, Diggerland's Diggerland. No, no, but it was what it did to a lot of the men who were there.

Like a lot of the kids were queuing up to get on things that men were on for ages, like picking rocks up with a digger and putting them into a box. That seemed to take over quite a lot of the time. It was quite, yeah. I've had, do you ever, so what I deliver to my relationship is minimal, yeah? Really?

What I mean is- I think you're, really, I think you're- Sorry, I don't mean that. What I mean is, what I deliver at home in terms of contributing is minimal, right? And so- What are you, do you have chores in the house? No.

Really? Yeah. You have like a list of things that you do in the week and a list of things that- No. Wow. Okay. Okay. It's bad, isn't it? It is really bad, yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to try and help out here. What we need to do is get Lacey on the podcast one day. She would fucking eviscerate me. All right? Anyway. I love the way that you are trying to help out. Do you cook? No. Clean? Be honest. I'm being, yeah sometimes. What cleaning? Sort of tidying up and stuff.

No but like toilets, hoovering? Hoovering sometimes yeah. Okay, okay that's not too bad. That might have been an exaggeration. Bins? You do the bins? Sometimes. How often do you do the bins?

Look, I'll be honest with you, we've moved on to a very uncomfortable area of conversation. You doing the bins sometimes I'm gonna say they we've moved on to a very uncomfortable You moved on to it. Yeah, no, but I didn't I did more fucking money to I feel like I'm back at Martin's out Anyway last night. Yeah, we for, it was Alex's birthday yesterday. Wish I'd known. Okay. So we went out to eat, right? Yep.

Restaurant if he's choosing. Cool. Where did he go? Wildwood. Oh nice, nice, nice. Yeah, yeah. Theo, our eldest, he had like a dance class down the road. So the plan was we drop him off at the dance class down the road. So the plan was we drop him off at the dance class,

we go to the restaurant, chill out there for a bit, one of us goes to get him, and then comes back. So Lisa said, why don't you look after the other two, I'll go get Theo, bring him back. She goes, can you order him this food? I can't remember what it was, can you order him this food? Yeah. I can't remember what it was, but anyway, start her a main course, right?

And she goes, and can you just let him know that he's coming later? I said, yeah, of course. I'm sat with the other two, she gets up, and Charlie goes, what should we order? And mum goes, dad, Mum, you don't call her mum? Oh my God.

Lisa goes, Oh my, this could be quite a big story, yeah. Lisa goes, dad knows what Theo wants, right? She goes, don't you? And I said, yes. Then she walked out and I realised I didn't know what Theo wanted. You're joking. No.

Also, on top of that, Lisa didn't have her phone, right? Right. For whatever reason. So she was going to be gone going to get Theo. I sat there and the kids looked at me and they go, so what does Theo want? Well, also, what did Lisa want? I knew what she wanted.

That was fine. So she said, what does Theo want? I said, I don't know. And then Charlie said to me, but just now, a couple of minutes ago, mom said, I said to mom, what does Theo want? And mom said, dad knows. And then she said, don't you? And you said, I said to mom, what does Theo want? And mom said, dad knows. And then she said, don't you?

And you said, yes. So now you're saying you don't know. Jesus. What did you do? To wait. You didn't, I'd have scoured the menu and had a guess. No, it's better to wait than to guess wrong. Yeah, but then also knowing how these systems work. Everything is in a military

Timings, right? So when Lisa gets back It's like have you ordered the food because we need to get to this place after we need to get home because of you know What time we talking at eight o'clock now at this point? So this is about half seven Yeah, so and also wild would by the way, brilliant restaurant shout out all the wild words in the world But sometimes those kitchens can be slow if it's busy in there on Wildwood. Okay, what would say about Wildwood? I don't want to throw Wildwood under the bus.

Not busy, but slow. Oh wow. On that particular, this particular evening. So it took a long time. Now I don't know if Kat ever does this to you, but Lisa sometimes sort of throws little Passage kind of comments out to the family, but everyone in the family knows it's a critique on my dad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay? So we're sat, the food comes, we look at our watches as we're finishing main course, it's like, bloody hell, it's like coming up to... And obviously it's Alex's birthday, so it's imperative you have... And it's their first day of school the next day. And it's imperative also you have dessert for a kid's birthday, you can't go there without cake or...

Well that's the problem is the plan was leave the restaurant and his birthday cake was going to be the dessert and we're going to open all his presents. So we had another activity lined up for one of the... You're talking another hour there man. Yeah, exactly. Birthday cake, what, 45 minutes of present opening? Yeah. So then Lisa goes, it's getting on this mill, isn't it?

I guess if the food had been ordered sooner, we'd probably be out of here sooner. Because when you came to meet me that time, you were so late. When? When you met me at Christmas, it was so... That was a fucking... No, no, no, but it was... Lisa, I remember then, made some sort of...

Because I think you'd picked the route. So there was a sort of like... You just make sure Anyway the long and the short of it is I Need to be better. Yeah, but what did can I just ask what they are bet fear had like some sort of burger? How the fuck do you know that because he's a age right? You know just gone Yeah, because he's at his age, right? You'd have just gone... Yeah, but he's really into his steak at the moment, so I was sort of deliberating between... Gaines, is he on the Gaines?

In his little bit, he's looking a bit beastly at the moment. Yeah, he's got a vibe of that one. He's a quite broad guy. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Quite a broad dude. He's a jock. Is he a jock?

Quite a broad vibe. No, not... Yeah, but he likes his football, right? Yeah. And he's good at dancing. He's an all-rounder, isn't he? Yeah, although I said to us once from the other when we were on the holiday. I Was having a lot we're having a long chat about like what his school what his mates were like and stuff like that I was under the impression that now in 2024 if you're a 15 16 year old kid

You can do dance and stuff and it's fine. I thought that was the whole thing there. It's not really. Oh really? Well, it's fine as in his mates don't, he doesn't not have friends because of it, but they do riff him about it. Yeah, can I just say though, that is jealousy, isn't it? Is it, or is it like, there's certain things, even now, I just think there's certain things

that boys are supposed to do and girls are supposed to do and like that is just how it is. Yeah, I don't know, I think there's an element of jealousy to that though. That's not my opinion, but I'm just saying, the perception, fucking hell. Don't let this be the thing that'll go down. But it's weird because Grace is now signing up to do ballet, dancing and all that sort of stuff.

Yeah, as girls should do. Also, I'm gonna take her to football on a Saturday morning, do you know what I mean? So she plays that as well. And I think that's kind of, that's what, it's good to give them as many different experiences. Some things will stick, some people won't.

But I did think, do you know what? I was basing this completely on, it's 21 Jump Street. Right. I was basing the fact that kids have evolved. Oh, what, when they did the one strap and all that shit? Yeah, yeah. I do think that is true. I do think that is true to a certain degree.

But what I'm saying is, he still gets a bit of banter about it yeah yeah so it's not come it's not completely like it's just normal not it's not normal what I mean is there's a comment you know it feels like there might have been a moment of a day's it when you're gonna keep up with the Or... do more boy stuff. No, I wouldn't. Come on. Come on. Come on, who you talking to, man? I wouldn't have been as subtle as that. I've banned him.

So it's nice that we've got a bit of time on our own, see ya. Would you say you're a boy's boy? A man's man? Do you think you're a lad's boy? A man's man? Do you think you're a lad like your old man? Like your old dad? But Dad, you're shit at everything. Yeah, but I'm shit at men's stuff. That's the difference.

I think you'd see me differently if you'd see me with my kit night rider car back in 1993. Then another thing happened to me at the weekend. Okay. I went to see Despicable Me 4. Wow, okay. Now, have I told you about the Despicable Me issues that I've had? What do you mean, in what sense?

Well. Oh, okay. So three years ago, I got asked to record five lines for Despicable Me 4. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For four? For four. Oh, well, it's just come out? Yeah.

Okay. So they showed me the character, they got me to do the lines. The people from Zoom in LA did the lines left, all right? Fine. I'm going to be Despicable Me 4. They didn't tell me when it's coming out, right? Yeah. And so at that time it was all very early in the process.

So I just go... Were you doing the guide voice or the actual voice? No, the actual voice. Oh, wow, okay. So I leave, right? And I go, oh, yeah, I live my life. You don't need all those details. And then I start to think,

oh, maybe Despicable Me 4's not gonna come out because it'd been quite a while. I think like a Minions film came out in the meantime. And then I was like, maybe that film's just disappeared. And then it gets announced despicable me force coming out. All right, right And then like holy shit And then I'll get invited to go to watch like a screening of it cool. Yeah, but not as a cast member, right? Oh, just like how sometimes we get as an influence. Yeah. Yeah anyway, right so I So I just look at Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, right?

So I just look at it and I go, oh well I'm in this film I think. Unless, but I'm fully prepared that they're not gonna have me in it, right? Yeah. So anyway, then I go on the Radio 2 show a few weeks ago and I said, I'm gonna watch Despicable Me 4 tonight.

I'm to find out if I'm in it or not. Yeah. Right, because I don't know 100 percent then somebody phones in the radio show and goes you're in it you're listed on IMDB right so go fuck I'm in the film couple lines not lot but like you're in this film so anyway then I don't get around to watching Spickle with me for weeks then I go no because you know you're in it now so you go no I just didn't happen that no no no no no no it would be I can't I can't see that you're like you literally get you're like it now, so you go out and you're like... No, it just didn't happen that night. No, no, no, no, no, no. It would be, I can't see, you're like, you literally get,

you're like, I'm gonna go and watch this here for a minute. You're in it, okay, sounds like Romesh is getting on the last one. No, that's not what happened. I like Despicable Me. I love Despicable Me. Yeah. So I'm like, but whatever happened, I couldn't go watch it. And then we were on holiday, right?

Yeah. So then when we come back from holiday, we're like, we're gonna watch Despicable Me. Then a few people messaged me, going, oh, so Despicable Me, well done on, you know, doing it. And I go, OK, who was I? Was I like, what, do you remember the scene I was in? And they go, no. And then they go, who were you? Then, OK, a new story comes out. I say new story like a little clip, saying that I've replaced Russell Brand as Dr. Nefario, right?

Wow. Okay. I see this article, it says, they've kept it quiet, but because of whatever, Ramesh Ranganathan has been brought in to replace Russell Brand. He's not mentioned it, because he's obviously trying to keep it quiet, because they're trying to be quiet about it, and the studio haven't mentioned it. The reason I haven't mentioned it, I don't even know if I'm in the fucking film or not. And I didn't record lines for Dr. Nefario, right? So now I'm thinking, am I Dr. Nefario?

Have they like repurposed? That's a big part as well, by the way. Yeah. That's a really big part. Am I? That's like third, fourth lead. Yeah, but he's not in this film very much. Okay, cool.

Okay. I'm not stupid enough to think that they've somehow taken those words and made me a major part in the film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? I'm just thinking like maybe... He says the same thing every time. Also, I can't remember what I said.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I go to watch the film. My character appears, says nothing. What? His lines have been cut. You're joking? No. I don't know what people are saying, it's you and... Okay, well this is the thing. So then we watched the rest of film

Dr. Nefario appears and I got okay. Maybe this is where I hear my words Out of Dr. Nefario, you know, maybe they've repurposed Dr. Nefario speaks that's not me either And get to the end of the film. I've not heard my voice in this. Yeah, okay Wait for the credits the kids go to watch Wait for the Credits. There's all the characters. Additional voices. Oh wow.

Additional voice. So I hope not who. I'm in a list of about 20 names that have provided additional voices in this film. So just quickly for my, no, but for my records here, like who, did you not get like the character even though he'd been on, like in the film, did they not get the character, even though he'd been on, in the film, did

they not give you that character? Like, you sort of like an essay. Or you don't want to be an essay in a cartoon. That character just appears in the background. So initially, I have a conversation, what I recorded was a conversation with Gru. Right, okay. Right, just like, nice to see you again, Gru. I can't remember what the lines were, but it's like a...

Because you're amazing in Chicken Run, the second film. You can barely bring yourself to say it out loud, can't you, that's how it'll... But can I say, by the way, Grace fucking loves that film. Oh, that's lovely. It's all a lot. It's been in the house a lot, very much me. I see the character, as soon as I see him turn around...

You're like nudging... Yeah, I'm like fucking up, this is it. Yeah. And they don't say anything, the scene moves on. Wow. Yeah, I'm like fucking up. This is it. Yeah, and they don't say anything. It just the scene moves on. Yeah Anyway additional voices then I'm thinking so how can I be credited in this film if I'm not in it and then I remember That as well as doing my lines. I had to do a bit of background. I'm at a party stuff. Oh My god, so I think so that like when he the scene that my character's in, there's like a little bit of like, do you know what I mean?

Isn't it weird as well, like, because like that whole thing about it being in the paper you take it over from, who did take over from Russell Brand? I don't know. I, I, I, it wasn't listed. Yeah. I don't know. But then all of a sudden you've got that and then this because I'm by the way the one Show run the whole our attack thing, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You saw that did you? Yeah

No, no, no, it doesn't seem to be going anyway Because one of the way four people said to me I can't believe he's doing our attack I was like if you listen to the podcast you find out that he isn't actually yeah, but they go what podcast? I was like, if you listen to the podcast, you find out that he isn't actually. Yeah. And then they go, what podcast? They don't probably know enough. That's why I probably got the text which was going, really? To push this pod?

That's insane. I just did a voice for a cartoon and now- Are you allowed to say what it is? Yeah, I mean, I think so. I'll find out. But Rick and Morty, yeah. So amazing. Which was pretty cool.

Did you say to them when you went in, like one of your like one of your best friends It's a massive. I was very lucky that I was there. I'm not so fucking like shout my yeah, I would do the same Yeah, I mean the hence why I probably was an indispensable me for you didn't walking. I mean about a way She wasn't in it turns out Yeah, no, but also what you did in chicken run is essentially just played it in doing the impression that you do of me. That character sounds like I do in that fucking film. Grace sometimes goes, Dada, I went, no, no, it's one of Daddy's friends doing his fucking voice. And then she went, fucking.

But then I have that worry now that, cause animation, the worry about wonk is you get cut out of it and put in animations wonka as you get kind of it and put animations how can you get a got caught I worry about that till in the guy's pocket for massive but with animation it must be you're doing the voice and then you're sitting there just thinking oh man if this isn't quite right they can easy just get someone else into the mix yeah I mean often I would say to cut the part completely. Yeah.

I mean, it's only four lines. Yeah, four lines in Despicable Me 4 is pretty sick. But it was just a roller coaster, because I thought, fuck, am I Dr. Nefario? I was thinking, I wonder if they do Despicable Me 5. And you'll be the guy. Nefario makes a comeback. Suddenly, I'm the Donnie.

Yeah, yeah. As it turns out, my character's a mute. You know, they might, some people might go, that guy, he was a funny my character's a mute. You know, they might... Some people might go, that guy, he was a funny-looking character. He doesn't do anything. I kind of want to watch the film just for this character. What I can tell you is his name's Ravi. Okay. What was the voice you did for him?

I can't remember. I can't remember anything I said. Wow, three years ago, this man. It was like a... I know I sort of did it posh English, I think, is my recollection. Oh, really? Can you it posh English, I think is my recollection. Oh really, can I hear you posh English? Yeah. Martin, a bit like Martin. Gru, absolutely delighted to see you.

That's nice. I understand you've been up to some villainy of your own. You don't remember me, you remember all of the words that you had to say. No, that was, that was improv, that was improv. Well you improved in the room, that's probably why. No, I'm improving now. You know you've got like a, that could be like That was improv. Were you improv'd in the room? That's probably when it... No, I'm improv'd now. You know you've got like a... that could be like a James Bond or...

You think so? Yeah. You'd love to see me as James Bond? I think, yeah. I'll tell you who wouldn't, everyone apart from you. Including me. I'd love to be the supervillain to your James Bond. That'd be fucking sick.

Why don't we do that as a film? That'd be fucking cool, yeah. Who would you have as your M? They're banging down our door to get a film I Just shit out any idea who would you get to be your M who would be my M? I? Think he'd cast outside a type. No really yeah What Beckett what Beckett he could be as M could be what playing it as a woman? Yeah, that'd be pretty amazing Yeah, just give me like a big blonde wig like a boat like a bit. We've quite cute seeing Becky with a big beehive haircut

Yeah, I'd love that. Yeah. Yeah, I could imagine you just in that sort of like a nice you go boss suit. Mm-hmm Rolex Yeah, I'm so excited. I'll have a martini please shake and not stirred. And if you haven't got any martini, I'll just have a Bex. Yeah. Interesting to find you here, Mr. Bond. People think I don't like you, but I've often said to people, you're a sweet, sweet soul, I love you. You like you're my kiff and my kiff.

Oh, shut up! Get out of my arse, old mate. Do you want to do some, look we've got about 20 minutes, we did a conversation starters a while ago. Yeah, yeah I enjoyed those, I enjoyed them. They're not all great, but I'm just going to, there's like 250 of them. It's nice to be going through these. It's a nice sort of vibe. So this is basically us sort of trying to think of content for the podcast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually the truth is we were going to do conversation starters for this whole episode but we got waylaid. We got waylaid into it. Okay. Do you want me to just do one random though? Yeah. Obviously. Yeah.

Hey man. Hey bro. I don't know, how do we do this? Well yeah, just like, I'm like. We're at a party. Is it a party? Well like a get together. Okay, okay.

Okay. Okay. Hey man. Hey, how you doing? Mad about this one, isn't it? How do you know Kev? It's a weird one actually. Hey man, how you doing? Hey, how you doing? Mad about this one, isn't it? How do you know Kev? It's a weird one actually, sort of like...

Oh, you're his mate Romesh, right? Yeah. Oh, just someone said something about you earlier, but now I know who you are. Okay, what's your name? Tom. Tom? Yeah, yeah. What do you do, Tom?

Oh, Tommy Day, that's what Kev calls me. Is it? I'm in finance and money and stuff. Finance and money? Yeah, money and finance. Yeah, I work in a city. I don't want to say too much about it, but it's fucking fun. Yeah, no, it looks like it. You're a teacher, right?

Doing a good work. I guess so, yeah. I am a teacher. As Kev told you that about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not as exciting as finding out some money,

but I have a laugh sometimes. Kev told us about the stag day with the prostitute. Well, that was, well, look, it was a couple of days in hospital, but it's completely, I'm completely fine now. Yeah, okay, okay. You got something to say, bud? It's completely I'm completely fine now You're saying the say bud No, I just said do you like did you like parties like this? Yeah, I like all kind of parties. I like, you know Christenings weddings 50th wakes whatever man. I thought yeah. Yeah, that's a weird selection of parties

If you weren't here, what do you think you'd be doing? Probably playing football with a couple of buddies. I'd imagine you're footballer Not very good. Actually. I'm Just trying but Kevin did say that you're not much for a sports person. Well, I mean, I mean, I play sports or casual however Yeah Kev said that you pick up sports here and there and just put them down because you're already good at them Kev's got a lot to say about me. Do you talk about anything apart from me with Kev? But yeah, you know Kev's like he's a gregarious fellow. Tell me three fun facts about yourself. Oh three fun facts about myself I

Have been skydiving seven times I've never been to Malta and I can't eat chicken because I'm allergic of it. Okay, sort of gave up on the fun after the first one didn't you? What about yourself? Three fun facts about yourself? I've got a pair of Transformers trainers that I got. Why are you reacting like that? No, nothing. My favorite, I like pineapple on my pizza. Oh Seb, come over here man, you've got to speak to this guy. Hey bro, how you doing?

You okay? I'm Seb, you must be Ramesh. Oh, we're carrying this, yeah yeah I'm Ramesh yeah how do you know that yeah no Kev said who you are so Kev's been talking to you as well as he yeah yeah yeah no no he's a nice guy Kev likes you a lot man he says you're funny what's your name again Seb okay yeah I'm just gonna go to the toilet. Oh, you're going Tom? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll take this shift. You all right mate, yeah? Yeah, Tom's a bit of a c*** isn't he?

Yeah, no, he's had a couple of beers but actually when you get to know him, he's a deep guy. He's really emotionally engaged. Oh yeah, speaking of emotionally engaged, what would you say is sort of your biggest regret in life, Seb? Probably my biggest regret in life is never learning to swim at school probably. That's probably the thing though. What about yourself?

Probably role play. Probably coming to this party I imagine. What is one thing you wish you could do that you know know, you probably never will ski without a doubt you never will Yeah, you know, you never will I'm scared of the snow and slopes Okay, but why do you wish you could do it then just cuz all the other guys do it, right? You know, Kev does his big ski party every winter. So yeah, that'd be cool. What's the um, hey, how's it going over here? Okay? Hey, hey, this must be Ramesh, right? Yes. Yeah, Kev was telling me about you. What did he say? I used to say what kind of guy you are that you are funny at university, but you try to be a comedian, but you're still teaching. Yeah, Kev's got a lot to say about me, isn't he? What's going on, man? Oh, Ramesh is just going through his phone trying to do conversation starters, figures. Okay, but then why am I doing that in the role play?

What do you mean? Hey guys, well yeah, I'm Tom back now. Okay. What do you mean? I mean, it's actual Tom. Why is it you get to be three different characters and I don't get to not be holding my fucking phone? Obviously I'm reading the conversation starters.

But in the role-play, I wouldn't, I would have these locked and loaded. Remember one and then just be, because that's what the guys are all basically saying, like, oh, fucking hell, this guy looking at his phone for conversation starts. Okay, but why are you allowed to be Seb and like the American dude or whatever and I can't even not have my phone doesn't make any sense

The rules of this a bullshit. Yeah, the rules are though you you've got hit the conversation star, okay Okay, do you want to do another scenario? Yeah. All right fine. Where are we horse racing? Okay, hey man. Good. See you again. You were at Seb's party. Yeah, yeah. Aren't you Seb? Hey man, good to see you. You were at Kev's party, right? Yeah, I was.

Yeah, shame about Kev, man. What happened to Kev? I've not heard from him since the party. He's an alcoholic now. He's in the priory. Since the party? Yeah, yeah. It was only last week.

Yeah, I know, but yeah. He went too hard, too heavy, too soon. Hey, what. Hey what's going on man? Anything interesting? Not a lot man I just thought I'd come to the races. Yeah yeah yeah. You a horse racing fan? I love horse racing yeah yeah I've got four fillies myself. Have you? Yeah yeah yeah. Lucky Jack, Apple Jack, Big Jack and Smiley Jack. All three or four. Oh, that's nice to have a little theme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was sort of just, it sort of makes you think, doesn't it, watching the horses go by. Yeah, tell me about it.

What's sort of the most, you know when you get life-changing advice or whatever that sort of sits on your head? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I don't know, have you ever had anything that's sort of like life-changing advice for us? Yeah, I guess so. Probably the biggest life advice I was ever given is never look a gift horse in the mouth when I'm thinking about horses.

It's quite literal, isn't it? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You also told Saddle up. Have you got any life advice that you remember? I have, actually. Somebody said to me... Hey, what's he doing here? Yeah, I don't know who he's with, but it's remember Ramesh from Kev's party.

Yeah, I remember him. Hi there. I don't think we ever got to your name at the place. My name's Mick McDonovan. Mick Donovan? Yeah. Yeah, how's it going? Yeah, good man. Seve, go and get me a beer. I'll deal withovan. Yeah. Yeah. How's it going? Yeah, good, man. Seb, go and get, give me a beer.

I'll deal with this. What do you mean deal with this? How you doing? You good? I'm good. Yeah. It's great. Isn't it horse racing? Yeah, I love it man. I've not gotten any horses I don't know if Seb told you. You're not gonna get any horses Seb's got four fillies. Yeah, no, you're saying yeah Yeah, yeah, Applejack, Lucky Jack, Big Jack and Happy Jack. Not Smiley Jack? No, no. Yeah, that's right Smiley Jack I always get their names. You know, it's like, you know, Seb's got two kids I don't get their names.

It's like, you know, Seb's got two kids, I don't even remember their names. Would you say it's a weird decision that you always forget their names, but choose to name them every time you refer to them? Yeah, anyway, what has life with you? You heard about Kev? Yeah, alcoholic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Seb, man. He always liked to party, though. Discretion was the key with Kev. That's yeah, yeah, sad man. He always liked to party though. Discretion was the key with Kev. That's why I like most about him. You could tell him his secret, he wouldn't tell anybody. Unless he was drunk. Sort of a perfect scenario, this horse racing, isn't it? But I don't know if it would be part of my perfect weekend.

If you had a perfect weekend, what would it be? Oh man, probably just me and my fiance Claire just going down to the beach, we'd probably get in my Jeep. You know, I'd put on some Paco Rabanne, she'd give me a kiss on the cheek. We'd go down, we'd spend the day surfing on our own surfboards that we brought about two years ago

and used quite a lot. And then we'd have a barbecue and just wait till the dark night and the stars were glistening. We'd fall asleep in each other's arms as a bonfire elapsed at our toes. Was Claire the brunette at the party? Yeah. She said that you followed her to the toilet. Well, I followed her to the toilet and then she went into the toilet and she was copping

off a kev. I don't know if you remember seeing that. What? Yeah, they're really going at it. Hot and steamy. But you can't do that to someone. What do you mean? Poor old Mike, you don't know, you've just heard his friends go on for an awful time. Right. Yeah, you could have a conversation start. We're just pissing about in a role play. Why are you allowed to have fucking four horses fuck me off onto someone else. What the fuck are you talking about, man?

Okay, roleplay over. That was great, wasn't it? Do you think that works? Should we do that again? I enjoyed the roleplay. I thought it was fun. I actually quite enjoyed it. It keeps me sharp with the sort of

the improvisational nature of it. And I like to create the environment in a roleplay. I think the party environment is a fun thing. It's so cool. Are you getting another one? No. Okay, cool, cool. Well, I think we're about that time, Tom.

Oh, wow. I think so. I actually feel quite sad about Kev. You know, he's obviously an imaginary character. Yeah, he's made him up, yeah, yeah. It feels sad that you had that party. Maybe channel that for your closing speech. But then it's easy to think about negativity.

It's easy to find yourself drowned in a sea of sadness. Sometimes you've got to try and find a boat. Maybe not a boat. Maybe the back of a human being that you can leap upon. Makes me think about that old adage, hey, I remember looking at the sand and the beach of my life and two sets of footsteps, but when life got tough, there was only one.

Why? Because you carried me, friend. I guess that's one of the things that we always remember and we always stick by. Truth of the matter is, there's always going to be two sets of footsteps in the sand. It's very hard not to see other footsteps in the sand. I walked across the beach the other day, looked back, and there was 40 or 50 sets.

I didn't know any of the other sets, though. It made me feel sad. Made me feel sad I didn't high-five anyone or shake someone's hand and go, Yo, what's your name, Bradley? Do you like surfing or ice cream? As life goes on, we get chances in our life to meet people. Sometimes we don't take those chances. A little bit like Ramesh at Kevin's party, stuck in a corner with his conversation starters, trying to break the ice, but he can't, because the ice is too thick. What you really need is someone to blow on the ice for him,

just melt it just a little bit. Get to know people, and the celebration of friendships are two-way street. You can't make a friend on your own if the other person doesn't want to conduct that feeling of friendship back. And that's the circle of life. Think back to Aslan, or Shere Khan,

or any of the other countries, I can't put it, the other characters from books, the Alliance and Tigers and such. But it begs the question, Alliance and Tigers friends or cousins? Think on that, will you? And while you're doing it, look across the coffee shop or the malt shop or wherever you are at someone and nod

and say, yo, take a dime on me because I'm the friend you never met peace out people really lovely yeah yeah thank you really lovely yeah really nice have you seen the guardians of the galaxy films i love the guardians of the galaxy films is that true yeah yeah i've pretty much enjoyed them so i was watching i've watched all three of them over the last few days. Okay, okay. I've seen the first two, I haven't seen the third two. Okay, third one's,

mate, you'll cry. Really? Okay, oh God. In the second one, how well do you remember it? Not most, well yeah, I've seen quite a few. I watched Fall Guy the other day, I thought that was incredible by the way. Yeah, it's a good film. There was a bit in Guardians of the Galaxy 2

where Yondu, you know Yondu. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Yondu and Rocket are imprisoned by the Ravagers. Right. And then they get Groot to get his prototype fin. And then he puts the fin on and he can work his little arrow again. And then he gets out of the cell and then they start taking out the Ravagers that betrayed him.

You remember that scene? Yeah, very much the Oasis thing that you did at the top of my head. Anyway, the song that's playing during that is called Come a Little Bit Closer by Jay and the Americans. It's a great song. JT, could you play us out with that? Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. God bless. Take care, see you, peace. Thank you. Come a little bit closer I'm all alone and the night is so long If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com.

We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.