Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 52: Friday Bonus & A Padel Match

Episode Date: September 20, 2024

We’ve finally gone and followed up on one of our promises and had a game of Padel. Earlier this week, Rom and Tom met up with Jill Scott and Jonathan Andrews for a doubles match at the O2 Padel Social Club. So standby for a full report on their game. We also discuss soppy text messages, a Jonas Brothers concert, Wetherspoons toilets, Tom’s over-enthusiasm, invites to christenings, painted nails and having a bad nights sleep worrying. And there’s even time for us to answer a few of your emails too - it’s one bumper of a bonus show! Thanks for all your messages - keep them coming at [e-mail] Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Fuck their censorship, let em see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill never sheep's clothing dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing all your ears are half a puff and expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Okay. Yeah, Yeah.

Yeah. Welcome to the war for now. This look, let's get this out in the open. This episode nearly never happened because close rough. Well, I text you this morning and I said, should we not do it? I've had cerebral night and then you said, yeah. And when you said, look, man, if we're going to monetize this properly, we've got to get these bonuses out.

And I said, crap. Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know what I said? I said, bro, if you don't think you've got it in you. Yeah, actually, actually, let me read this because I want to know, I want people to know what a great. First of all, we had a bit of a, okay, I'm going to read the last two texts we sent to each other the last night just to know how soppy we get.

I said, bro, it's an honor to be your friend. And then you replied, bro, the honor is mine, man. Right. Have an evening. Had you had a drink at that point? No, I'm not drinking at the moment. No, I noticed that the other day. I mean, we'll get on to that later. I noticed that you didn't have a drink which is, uh, then then I said, bro, can we skip the bonus

thing? I've slept shite and you said, yeah, my G and then I said, is that okay? You want to get one in and you go, bro, if you're feeling rough, don't stress it. G you want to wait till eight and see how you feel, which I took to mean just fucking put your finger out and do this episode. I've been excited about this episode. And then here we are. Yeah. And actually there is a reason there is finger out and do this episode. I've been excited about this episode and you know why. And then here we are yeah and actually there is a reason there is a reason to do this episode it could have waited no it couldn't have

waited till next week I was about to be very passive aggressive there because on Tuesday night we finally did one of the things that we never do which is do something we said we're going to do. And that is... Which was an amazing thing, right? Tom Davis, Romashrang and Afen, Jill Scott, Jonathan Andrews, celebrity hairdresser in case you need context for him. Yes, hairdressers to the stars. Hairdressers to the stars. And me. Played Paddle.

Oh, you know what? I so enjoyed it, by the way. Yeah, me too. I enjoyed it as a social thing. I loved it as a game. Arguably, we showed ourselves to be, you know, it was no surprises as how bad we were, right?

Well, okay, let's put this into context. Jill Scott is a professional athlete who was achieved at the highest possible we were right? Well okay let's put this into context. Jill Scott is a professional athlete who was achieved at the highest possible level right not in paddle admittedly but still they've got something about my most sports people right. Jonathan has regularly played paddle right. Also Jonathan by the way it should be said is although not a professional sports person I've known Jonathan a long time, he's one of those people who he'll basically, he'll go, I played five a side yesterday,

and you'll go, oh cool, who did you play five a side with? And he'll reel off like, you know, 10 ex-professionals or current professionals that he plays with. So he plays five a side at Vig, and then as a golfer, he's an, so he's naturally a very good sports person. Yeah, I mean it

does sound like we're laying down a lot of excuses here but I'm rightly so because at one point to give an indication of how we did dear listener basically there were lots of rallies that happened and then after those rallies Jonathan or Jill would go I think that's the best rally we'd have and we've had and then Tom and I have to point out that we hadn't been involved in that rally at all. Or one of us hadn't. Like at one point you were involved in a rally and I was very much a sort of spectator.

Also I'd say that me and you had two different ways of playing on the basis, mine was playing with a lot of power, so much so that we played, shout out to the Paddle Club at the O2, great place. We paid for it by the way, it was playing with a lot of power so much so that we played shout out to the paddle club at the O2, great place. We paid for it by the way, it wasn't a comp, it was, well Jonathan paid for it. I've paid him back now. I have you, he's not giving me his bank date, I owe you the money. And I managed to, with how I was hitting the ball, hit the side of the O2 and lose four of his balls, four of his, we started with 10 balls, I lost four over the top of the.

There was one point midway, I thought they'd have to stop the Jonas Brothers concert because of the sound coming from the tennis balls pinging off the side of the fucking O2. At one point, I returned a quite innocuous shot, and Jill went, oh my god, well done, Rom. That's when I realized that I've really lowered her expectations. And then late on in the thing I said, Jill, how am I doing? And she goes, look, it doesn't matter, I

still love you. Which I think is another indication of that. It's quite a sort of gaslighting game as well because at times you think you're playing you actually start thinking you've got the hang of it a bit and then you'd hit a shot so bad that it goes out like it doesn't even go sort of up and straight it goes somewhere off the side of a racket and off the side of it. I played so many impossible shots and I don't mean that in a good way. I mean that in a how the fuck did the ball go in that direction off the shot you're playing way. So there's two comedians as well there was quite a lot at one point and I didn't reference it at the time because I didn't want me and you to feel any worse. There was a there's like about eight guys at one point who had come out to watch us play paddle and we're all just watching and laughing yeah did you did you clock them yeah and there's a couple of guys that turned up

just to watch and then started playing because I think they thought there needs to be one decent game of paddle being played in these courts and they played by the way they were like security guards playing in shoes yeah I know they were they were not dressed for paddle but then just thought I mean look Shirts and trousers. They look like the Jonas Brothers security guards who are like, let's just show them how we do what was embarrassing for me was that I just done League of their own and so They'd given me like there were some tennis shoes They'd give me for this BT that we did and so I wore those so I look like I'd specifically

Where's by the way you? Yeah yeah you look very fucking New York paddled you look very cool your paddle attire was sick bruv. Like if I was to look at you when I turned up I was like okay this guy paddle wise he's like yeah he's flexing hard like you know like when I play golf I like to push it I looked to you as a paddle player I was like yeah he's the he's theing hard like, you know, when I play golf, I like to push it. I looked at you as a paddle player, I was like, yeah, he's the coolest looking guy out here. Until actually, until you saw me play my first shot. Yeah. And yeah, it was bad. And we had six tennis balls at the start of the 90 minutes and we were left. We actually had 10, Jonathan told me in the end.

What? 10? Yeah, four of it. So we. 10? Yeah, yeah, four of us. So we lost nine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nine. And listen. Oh, I was saying, wait, yeah. And you're sitting there listening to this. I don't know if you're on the train or in your car

or just doing your job. And you think to yourself, but aren't you in a glass box? Isn't it nearly impossible to lose to the balls yes it is but we managed to lose nine over the course of 90 minutes one every ten minutes went missing forever as a result of us playing. Well to be fair I think I lost four within the first three minutes because I hit those shots that everyone got paid to me. I thumped over the sort of... Well, Tom did the classic comedy move of like getting ready, getting in position. And then his first shot went into fucking space. It was absolutely...

But you know what? I've got to say, I fucking enjoyed it. I can see the... I mean, I enjoyed it to a level. You enjoyed it so much that you went out with Lisa and played... You went out with the Swan played you know the swan and played literally the next day well I'd already booked that in actually because I've been talking to the swan about I've been talking to the swan about playing paddle she was a bit reluctant because she's She tried to play tennis when she was younger in it. She had her fingers burnt

Literally the coach thought she was so shit. He put her hands over bunter burner no she just hated the experience. Lisa's always struck me that she's got like a quite sporty vibe to her. She has got a sporty vibe I don't know why she denies it I don't know if it's to make me feel better but she has got a sporty vibe anyway so we went and had like an actual paddle lesson the next day at Paddle Hub Crawler and the guy like basically coached us. He sort of helps us with like back end. Can I ask, was after you had the actual coaching, because we were sort of, you know,

Jonathan loved him to death. Jonathan was very much like, I mean, you had a little rally with Jonathan beforehand. We then went into the sort of the mix of like, okay, this is a game now. By the way, to give that rally context, that you just said you were having a rally with Jonathan Whoever invented the word rally would be turning in his grave here in at use in such a way Because but but you had a couple of practice sort of hands and so to speak

Yeah So when I turned up we were so good But also mean you were told it was a game from the off and We should say by the way that Jill and Jonathan incredible, but also Jonathan got very competitive at one point when when he worked out that you were you a dual 3-1 up in games Yeah, then he said that he turned it on. Yeah, he turned out so much so that on his own We went from 3-1 down to fourth or three and I think I hit the ball like three times. It sort of made the game more interesting in the fact I gave you guys points.

Yeah I mean look 90 seconds after you arrived and played paddle for the first time you're involved in a competitive match. Yeah. I mean that's quite accurate isn't it? Yeah. But look I'm gonna say this again not say this again say this I will play paddle again that was fun. I loved it. I really loved it. Yeah I like you know what for me what I'm really excited about is it could be me and you've got a hobby now together. Yeah there's a couple of embarrassing things that happened in the paddle lesson the next day. One the guy sort of, so we had a coach, really nice guy called Alex. Yeah, nice name. What are your names of your kids?

Yeah, yeah, not named after him, if that's what you're interested in. I've not met the guy till yesterday. But to give you an idea of what he thought about us, he sort of watched us swing in our rackets a bit, and then he said, do you know the names of the strokes? And I said, that's know the names of the strokes? And I said, that's based off seeing us sort of how we handed ourselves. And then he said, I said, what?

Do you mean like specific jargon? And he goes, no, like backhand and forehand. He didn't think we knew what backhand and forehand was. Wow. Okay. But based off what we did. Then, like he like pinged a load of balls at us, like, maybe a hundred or something, like we took turns to do backhand and forehand. And then he gave us these tubes

to clear the... Have you seen these tubes where you just, like, put it on the top of the tennis ball and it goes up into the tube and then you can tip it out of the basket? Yeah. I'd never seen them before. He handed it to me. It's so embarrassing. And I said, what do I do with this? And he looked at me. Oh, god. It was so. Oh, god.

I know. He just looked at me, and he actually demonstrated. He goes, well, you just put it over the tennis ball, then you press it down, and the tennis ball goes into the thick. And then I said to try and cover my embarrassing. It's sort of obvious, isn't it? And he went, yeah.

I was so, it was bad, man. What did Lisa do? Did Lisa know how, what it did? Well, as he said that to me, I heard this noise and I said, Lisa, it sounded like you, I know I might not be completely right, but it sounded like I heard the sound of your vagina drying up, is that?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. completely right but it sounded like I heard the sound of your vagina drying up is that would I be accurate you know um one of my favorite things about being there, because obviously we play, the Jonas Brothers were also playing, obviously a bigger game for them, a bigger gig for them, the Jonas Brothers, it was one of their birthdays. Nick, I think it was Nick's birthday. Don't want to get any trouble with any joke. But I went to the bathroom in the Wetherspoons before we played. But might I say by the way a great place the social part of social club could really do with some toilets it's quite straight no haven't they've got to be used a Wetherspoon once okay I said yeah that's quite sort of

strange going in in all your sportswear to a Wetherspoons on a sort of Tuesday night with a load of jokes but anyway there was there was a lot of Jonas Brothers fans in quite nice to see quite a lot of couples out groups of women Groups of friends. There was one guy in a Jonas Brothers t-shirt Had a full sleeve tattoo and he was absolutely leathered like he was about to go watch go What's that? I'll still top them. He was so fucking pumped and loud in the Wetherspoons and this was what time did we start playing? We started playing at five right? Yeah. This was like five o'clock. Yeah but he's that pre-gig listener right? Yeah but on your own at a Jonas Brothers thing just being absolutely peppered. Like it was like he

was like you know when you guys are football you might have a mate or you might see someone go fucking no he's not gonna make the game hmm he won't make the game he won't make it yeah he's they're not gonna let him in I've actually not been let into a Jonas Brothers concert because you're too drunk and too rowdy he's like he was what he'd been waiting for years and years for this he was so fucking***ing pent up. I would love to have to be that excited about anything actually. Really? Yeah I mean. No no no. I mean like he's really looking forward. By the way shout out to the Jonas Brothers fans because I'll tell you what I've seen some gigs in my time Jonas Brothers fans I looked around and was like you know what you

are absolute all of your credit aside this guy to the Jonas Brothers and everything they stand for right. I sort of wanted to let them know that but I couldn't walk around to them all individually and sort of say well done, like well done for you. Can we just, can I just stop you there a second please, right? Because a lot of the time on this podcast you throw out sort of open comments like this and I leave them unchallenged, okay? Right. But you've just gone shout out to Jonas Brothers because we were at the O2 the night of the gig

and people were walking around with Jonas Brothers. Just can you explain to me why is there a credit to the, and I'm sure they are, but I just wanna know how you've led, what's led you to that conclusion? Just, I think because I was just very like respectful in the nature, they were very sort of like, at one point I turned to like six of them, right? the nature, they're very sort of like, at one point, I turned to like six of them, right? I said, Excuse me, if you know where the

paddle social club is, and they said, Oh, we're not from around here. I said, Oh, I don't know if you'd seen it on your journey. And they said, we've literally just got here. And I was like, Okay, enjoy your concert. And they said, enjoy your game of paddle play well. Oh, that's nice. I mean, that's like a nice interaction. I would say it's a weird decision. When I've asked you game of paddle play well oh that's nice it's a weird decision when I've asked you for a bit of evidence to use a made up conversation as your as your backup

It's an interesting decision, but fair play to you. I worry right now. I've got a genuine worry that I've had long COVID or I've got early stage of something else going on. And I've started to actually, like since you've made that whole sort of Donald Trump joke, that I've started to become more and more like Donald Trump. What makes you think that? Well, I had a conversation, I can't remember exactly the conversation I had

with the Jones Brothers fans. And now you say that, I'm like, I don't think it, like it was more like, do you know where the Paddle Club is? No, we haven't seen it before, see you later. Yeah, obviously that's how a conversation would go. But what you've done is you've invented a conversation. It's the equivalent of going, they dogs, they're eating cats, they're eating dogs.

But this isn't worried out for me. Why is it? It's not a worry. The only worries you got caught out. Yeah, but also, like if I was to have stood like a Donald Trump, like how he stands on stuff, then I start becoming, you becoming, I'm running for prime minister, and I've got a load of fucking mad ideas, and fucking, it's crazy, bro. Well, look, okay. Also, I watched a clip, by the way,

of myself doing stand-up the other day, that's unusable, because I swore so much. It's not unusable. Well, no, but you know what I mean, you watch it and you just think, oh, it seems so dumb watching it, when you just swear like every other word. Yeah.

I actually was quite embarrassed. You're sort of describing my career, so it's very difficult for me to comment on this. No, but that's my boat. People call us out on this. Also, by the way, another thing I've been called out, where I've spoke to you about this before, I'm getting quite a lot of messages

from people who seem to think I'm having cocaine before shows. Cocaine? Yeah. I'm getting quite a lot of messages from people who seem to think I'm having cocaine before shows. Yeah. Coke, sniff, whatever. Bit of the bugle. Bit of the devil's dust. Why do they think you're doing that? I don't, I've apparently like, yeah, put something about my energy or stuff. Like, number one, this has been recorded at fucking 10 to 9.

So I've got another line of gear before 9 okay so number two it usually is an overall compensation in which I'm doing so I become more lively and also rubbish rubbish is like my drugs which makes me quite giddy still now no you are you make me quite giddy okay excited to be around you. I actually by the way, I was a bit harsh on Sam Thompson. I realised that I have messed Sam Thompson. You're like Tony Bellew and I'm like Sam Thompson. How does that, what do you mean?

I watched Sam Thompson around Tony Bellew, right? I was watching a video of them earlier. They seemed like they've got a lovely friendship. And I watched him and I sort of was like, oh you know what? Like the reason I'm probably I was probably quite harsh on Sam is because I can actually see a lot of my stuff. That's how my energy that when we were playing paddle the other day, I was genuinely like, hanging off you, like, like a boy being dumped at a disco. At one point, it was good. I felt myself and I thought you haven't almost gone. Come on on chill out just a little fair first of all that's not my recollection of how the paddle went it was just lovely to see face to face

your Trumpian made-up stories but that's how sometimes I think I'm being yeah no but if you if you if you want me to comment on your sort of cocaine adult energy, we did have a Zoom with Flo and Antonia from Off the Curb to talk about the Wolf and Owl Christmas thing. And there was, I would say, two minutes of you monologuing about something that was nothing to do with what we're talking about, without any response, because we're trying to move the meeting on. And you were just it was like you want a different fucking zoom. You just like face really close to the camera just so you know, it's kind of in the

frame. Just absolutely prattling on for like 90 seconds or two minutes. At one point, I think Flo said, should we just move on? Yeah but this is what I worry about. That is the thing, that's why I think I've not been invited to parties and sort of celebrations and christenings anymore. It's like yeah it was about a christening but he's just gonna prattle on with some other crud. And that's why now I feel harsh about, I was quite judgmental about Sam. And actually now I look at it and go, oh no, like, that's why. It's like, you know, sort of, it's like, you know, when you see someone in an outfit that you've worn about a month before and you go, oh, that's terrible. And I've got exactly that outfit

and I wore it a month ago and no one mentioned it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. There's a couple of times you mentioned Christenings now. I don't know. I don't know what you think happens at Christenings. I think you've not been to a Christening and now you're under the impression that it's like the most exclusive. I think you think Christenings are like the fucking Met Gala. Everybody's actually craving for an invite to a Christening.

And also it's a weird thing to start fucking hinting you want to be invited to a Christening. Yeah, but like, we're sort of, look, we're kind of of the age of, I'm sort of reminded of this. When I was doing League, obviously everybody, all the team that work on that show, like most of the production are a lot younger, like the runners and the APs and stuff like that, they're in their late 20s, early 30s. So first of all you feel ancient because your cultural references are so different to what theirs are. Do you know what I mean? And then you find yourself saying things like,

seeing anything interesting on the old Tiki Tok today? You know, all that kind of shit. But the other thing is... I heard you say to someone, I think when you were talking to Luke Lippner, didn't you call it the tock at one point? You know, you need to be really careful, mate, because this is happening without you even realizing now.

You're just sort of coming out with shit. Are you nervous? Are you worried? No, no, I'm not. I'm gonna ask JT for a sound effect that I can play and it's just Donald Trump saying they eat dogs every time you do something like this. No, but you were quite, I'd say that your vibe with Luke Littler was quite a cool one. No, I was nervous for Luke Littler because he's a 17 year old kid. What was insane was he's three years old, two years older than Theo and he's on that show. I thought he was brilliant.

But the point was that they're all talking about going to weddings, right? Like you have different stages of your life, where you're going to this? We're like you're going to this sort of thing You're going to this sort of thing, you know For that I went for a period of going through I mean, I think this is slightly premature in my case But we threw a period of going to parents of my friends funerals Do you know me like like you go for it? You go for a different like? Stage this is without me. I've been to I had three of my mates' funerals this year,

like of our age. So that's like fucking insane. I mean, that is early, isn't it? Not for me, not for me. I'm not long-destined for this earth, but you know, I mean, generally. I don't say that. I literally don't know what I'd do.

I literally don't know what I'd do. How hard it would be to find someone who'd actually fucking understand, and like fucking just like I genuinely think like that's my worry. I have no one to pull my card. I'd have no one to sort of like... What are you talking about? I'd without you around it the idea of what I'd be like as a person like that that's I've then sort of like oh god God, I saw sort of Tom Davis the other day. He was at Richmond Park with those shoes on. Like, he was just sort of like, I like that for you. Just walking around barefoot getting,

getting in touch with the air. My doors disowned me. Okay, so welcome to another episode of The Wolf. It's been another tough week. I called one out in Hyde Park. A couple of dogs came over and took a shit next to me. It actually made me feel like they were my kiff and my kin. And it's quite weird actually because one of the dogs had quite serious rubbish energy. It was going to be a really snooty look. I actually said, look, I'm going to admit this, I'm going to say this, hold my hands

up, it was a low point. I actually turned to the dog and said, Romish, is that you? At which point the owner felt very uncomfortable. The dog bit me on the arse and ran off and then I knew it was Rom. I worry about that. I think you without me is sort of like, you don't belong pretty sweetly. Do you know what I mean? that. I think you like you without me is sort of like yeah, you know, I belong pretty sweetly Do you mean I'm sort of no no, no, but you I think you you you just become more maybe a recluse I don't know. I am I am had a terrible night last night, which is why

Which is why I sleep or like well, it's why this is textbook thing I started thinking about something just before I as my head hit the pillow, right? Yeah, and it was sort of like not Sort of like works kind of work stuff. But okay, this is really I Almost don't think I should check but do you know like I'm I'm 46 now, right? And I feel like we're getting to the stage now where you think, in your career, whenever you're planning on retiring, whenever you're planning on walking away from this,

what is it you want to have done by the time you finish? That's what my brain started hovering on as I went to sleep last night right so I say as I went to sleep literally my head hit the pillow this thought hit my head what am I like you know my big fear is that this industry or this job decides to deselect me before I deselect it right that that is the that is that is a big on-going. So then... Everyone's worried, right? Yeah, sure. But don't think about that at 11. Do you know what I mean? So then I started like thinking about it. Now Lisa, she's obviously one of the sweetest people in the world. I often have, not specifically about that, but I'll think about something and I'll sort of

be thinking about it in bed. Luckily, I don't have a lot on this week. So I wasn't that worried about, you know, sometimes when you've got to record the next day, you'll start freaking out, going, I need to get some sleep because I was going to be shit tomorrow. I don't have that. But like every now and again, I have these like spirals.

And Lisa will always say to me, wake me up when that happens, if we could just have a little chat, do you know what I mean? And like, whatever. I can't, can you imagine me waking up, Lisa, in the middle of the night? You know, she's asleep and she goes, what is it, Ron?

I'm just thinking about my legacy and what it might be. And then she'll say to me, oh, I didn't think my vagina could be any dryer after the paddle, but we're done, mate, you've done it. It's permanently sealed up. Number one, look, look, number one, look, I know Lise. Lise will be there for you. I mean, it makes me sad that that's happened

to you at 11 o'clock at night. And you know, it is, because I can sit here quite, quite earnestly and sort of say how, you know, you've got to, you have and had and will have that amazing, you've done incredible stuff, do you know what I mean? I'm not saying, I'm just sharing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, amazing, you've done incredible stuff, do you know what I mean? I'm not saying, I'm just sharing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

but I know that feeling, we'll get there, but it is like, everyone has that I think. It's like in what I'm saying earlier and what we both said about, you know, Christians becoming weddings and weddings becoming fucking funerals or whatever. And it's like, oh, you like oh yeah well father time doesn't wait for anyone and there's times in your quiet moments that's when you start fucking you

have those thoughts it's a fuck it's horrible bruv it's horrible like I've had like I yeah I mean we had a long chat conversation yesterday about it it was like I called you to pretend I was calling you about something else but called you because I was just sort of like feeling quite low. It's an incredible fucking misdirection by you. It's hard man, it's difficult. No, look the truth is it's not, look if I'm being absolutely honest it's not hard because what I mean is you can make it hard can't you? Because the other way of approaching it is you just carry on and you do your thing and we're lucky to be doing a job we enjoy.

You just carry on doing that. There's no worrying about whatever. But I think that, I mean, look, I don't want to get too deep about it, but you can make yourself worry about anything if you focus on it for long enough. Do you know what I mean? And that's-

And it's easy to watch a prick on Instagram and say, man, I go, oh know like you know don't think too much about the future just stay in the present don't worry about the past but like the human mind is always gonna slip and maneuver you into ways of like you know yeah you can have some sort of control it's fucking difficult not to sometimes slip into that place mmm so anyway, so the long and the short of it is I had a bad night's sleep last night. Okay, Tom, do you fancy doing a couple of weeks? Just quickly, can I say one thing?

Can I just say one thing? And I didn't want to bring this up because obviously we're coming out of a bit of a sort of deep chat, right? You know, you keep doing a thing with your hands, with your sleeves, you've like got your sleeves over your hands. Like, and that is the thing that people have been doing for years. I would just say...

Can I tell you why I've been doing this? It's because I went a bit overboard on my nails this week, and I'm trying to avoid getting... Look, I'll show you. So hold up, what is this? Can I just ask, the painted nails? Because I noticed this at the panel, didn't want to make a thing of it. Is that a thing that you're... is that a new thing you're doing?

No. So basically, I went and got a manicure, right? And I got clear polish on my nails, right? And then the next time, I got a couple of them done black, right? Then the next time when I went on to Greece, I got them all done black, right? Right. And then the last time I went which is like last week I just saw like some pattern thing so I just got them done but like it so but they're

quite mad and also argue I do think they look great right I mean I really like them do they look great on me I mean the question is it's quite out of character yeah you know no no no no no. Number one, right? The now thing, I think is fucking cool. You're fucking trying something new. We're all in a situation right now where we should try new things. We're all hitting that fucking time, right?

But anyway, listen, but the other thing is, one of the reasons is, new and old's been done is quite divisive, isn't it? Do you know what I mean? But why? Because men, because a lot of people, because what is it, is it no, like, you know, a lot of people, because what is it, is it no,

like a couple of like celebs have like had their, I'm not putting myself in that bracket, but a couple of men have had their nails painted and they've got a lot of shit for it, do you know what I mean? Because it's not considered acceptable to paint your nails or so. Yeah, but why? But a lot of people.

Actually, do you know what? I genuinely think, by the way, that like, something like that where you can actually make, because you know what, that's done to you, way, that something like that, where you can actually make, because you know what that's done to you, right? That's made you feel nice about yourself, right? You've had that done, you genuinely have, what's really sweet is you've gone for the polish. No, no, no, but what a lovely thing to have, right?

You've gone from a clear polish to just what is the black, right? To nail pattern, right? That tells me that you are then with the nail technician and they're doing your nails and you're looking bad at them thinking I want to go for that right yeah and that's quite an exciting feeling it's a dopamine hit right yeah then when you leave there you look at your nails you get home you show at least you show the boys everyone says fuck it if number one

I think it's brave no I think it's a fucking cool thing to do but number you feel nicer like for men we have such a lack of things to sort of do to, like, my wife will go out and get different things done like that, like nails, toes, whatever. She'll go and get her hair blown up, which is like, you know, not in 1983, but still, do you know what I mean? But she'll get her hair blow-dried, whatever.

Yeah. We, I mean, I can't get that done, that's that ship of sale, but, like, I think you should be proud that you've had something done that makes you feel like different and nice and you can go Actually, fuck it. You look at your nails and you get a bit of pleasure. Thanks I just want to come by some I'm gonna roll my sleeves up man. There you go. Look at this You should mate, you know, I was fucking cooler that looks

Genuinely, you know you now give it off very fucking I'd say like rock and roll stroke fucking Like someone who's just about to fucking drop an album that everyone in the world's gonna talk about. Thanks, man. By the way, let me just clear this up. I'm not ashamed of having my nails done. I'm not ashamed of it. It's just that I know that a clip of this might go out, and then, I don't know. I don't know if I go out and then I don't know I don't know

if I can't see I just I don't know I must have just instinctively pulled my sleeves down because I just didn't want any comment. I just think it's a cool thing. Thanks man. Would you come and get your nails done with it? Yeah I actually am saying this without any I think you carry it off better than I would. That's a nice way of saying you don't want to get it done. No, no, I'd get it done. I'd happily go and get it done.

That's just ecstasy. But I think, I think weirdly, a sort of giant with painted nails is, I don't know. I love that. I'd like to get one done. Yeah, why don't you? Well, what do you get, why don't we get on our little fingers, W and O?

That'd be fucking cool to do. Yeah. That'd be like, that's a sort of like, yeah talked to the tattoo but sort of yes something that we can mmm yeah actually for now Theo pointed out to be wolf for now is ten letters so theoretically I also put away will shout going to actually get you did you go go to get your nails done actually having a chat with someone what an experience shout Jackie, who Lisa recommended to me made a nice little chat. She

was quite nervous about doing the patterns because it's like she free handed it but you know, did you? Well, he has a steady and sure hand. Yeah, well, pick up yourself Jackie. This is serious. I'm an else guy. What can we do? All right, should we do some emails? By the way, we should we should say and I don't want to do We should also say a lot of people are going to be quite invested in a game of paddle

We should say who won the game Well, I think from from Tom insisting on that we know the answer don't we it was Tom Davison Johnny won that Yeah and Johnny won that. So congratulations to you. Yeah. Jill actually got what I love this. Do you remember what Jill is? Some of the best company I've ever had in my life. Jill Scott is. I just think she's wonderful. I like to tell you that Jill Scott is a lads lad though.

Jill Scott is the most boardy member of the group we've got now. Jill, if I was to take anyone I know with my builder mates and know I could leave them at fucking nine o'clock and go off to come home and they stay out till two in the morning, Jill Scott would be that person. Yeah, Jill Scott's a legend. She started to lose her shit a bit with you at the end, like the last... Well, I had an insistent on not, I kept not letting it bounce before I hit it and that was fucking up and she just said said to me I've given you one instruction and that is let it bounce yeah I would say that was a that was a low point in the old dynamic okay

are you ready let's go okay this is actually this looks like I'm reading it too because it's a compliment which it is this is from Felicity Just thought you might like to know that my life very nearly ended tonight listening to your podcast So I laughed so hard during the ROM Martin Oasis roleplay while taking my nightly vitamins I choked on a cod liver or capsule almost had to run downstairs to get my husband to heimlich me Led me to wonder if somebody did actually die in a similar situation If we get reported back to the podcast in question perhaps by the coroner. Have you ever had such notifications? Many thanks for what you do. Love Felicity.

Well I don't know if you've had any near-death experiences in your audience but I know this is quite a common one that happens in gigs but Ben Green, you know Ben Green, best friend of mine, business partner, director. Sweet BJ. When I was doing my work in progress for my, not the last tour, the tour before, Ben and his lovely wife Georgie came along. Georgie was heavily pregnant and they came to watch from work in progress and she went into labor directly after coming to the work in progress. What? I didn't think of that. Yeah. Fuck, that's a cool thing to happen.

So you basically, like that kid was almost like sort of, you know, born from the laughter of your school. Both, I'm responsible for conceiving and then triggering the labor on that child. Inducing, inducing. Yeah, inducing. Yeah. You could call yourself the epidural. Yeah, yeah, inducing. Yeah, inducing. Yeah. You could call yourself the

epidural. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that might be my next showtime. I don't think I'm having near-depth I think that happens quite a lot, doesn't it? To pregnant people. Like, like, yeah, I had fights at mine and I had, um, yeah, that's sort of in one brand. Yeah. And quite a lot of, um, yeah, I had fights at mine and I had... Yeah, that's sort of in one brand, yeah. And quite a lot of, yeah, I had sort of, a lot of drunk people who sort of fell asleep in the interval, so I led them and woke up as the theater was clearing out, I've done that a few times. But no, I don't, from what I remember, no real near-death experiences, only my own.

Every now and again, it does feel, I mean, that was a near-death experience, but I think as a comedian, right, like however good a comedian is, right, there are some laughs that I'm just envious of, right? There are some laughs that I'm just envious of, right? There are some things that make people laugh that I'm just jealous of. And I'm not talking about comedy. I'm talking about one of your mates falling over publicly. Right? Like that laugh, that sort of doubled over.

I remember, it won't sound that funny telling it back to you, but I remember there was, we went out one night, this is years ago and I remember it. it went out one night and there was a guy that was dancing quite weirdly right he's dancing quite weird and we were outside the bar afterwards and one of my mates I'm starting to laugh talking about it one of my mates was sort of got carried away he was sort of drinking and he he went to me oh did you see the way that guy was dancing? And he started to try and dance like that guy. He fell over, seriously tweeted his ankle

and we had to take him to hospital, right? Well, Jesus. I laughed so much. Like I couldn't fucking, like I was doubled up, like I couldn't handle how funny I found it, right? It was just insane. Like as every time I think about it, it makes me laugh again.

That is a laugh that as a comedian, you would like that laugh, like getting someone to laugh like that, that's the fucking holy grail, right? Like there's one thing to get someone to laugh because they know that's the end of your joke and they're sort of punctuating it and how that was quite funny.

But a laugh like that is fucking so good for the soul, right? I've given those laughs through moments like your friend. Like I remember I used to play Sunday league football for a pub and sort of quite a lot of, so it was that time, you know, there was a group of us, we were all sort of like late teens and sort of people's girlfriends would come along and watch. And there was a girl I'd sort of really liked at that time, but she was sort of like, you know, single, she was mates with a mate, whatever, you know, one of her mates was going

out with her and mine. And I sort of thought, you know, maybe I can get on the pitch, sort of an impressor, do you know what I mean? Impressor, you know, sort of put a good, you know, so I get brought on at centre back, and the ball, someone rolls me a pass, and I sort of trap the ball and sort of do that thing that you see something centre back, so I sort of like, like lean on the ball, you know, put my foot on the top just to sort of pick my pass. And I do it and I burst the ball, lean forward and sort of stack it like it was like in one motion I basically the ball rolls I fall the ball pops right um and the

laugh that like everyone on the pitch both sides all the people watching it uh had I always just focused on the fact of how much she was laughing. I still see this person from time to time, or they're married now and they've settled down but a good person. But no matter what else I've done in my career, that's the thing where they go, oh my God, still the funniest thing you'll ever do. Do you remember that Tommy place? Yeah, I remember it because every time I fucking see you bring it up, anyone there that day will tell you that's the funniest

thing they've ever seen me do. And it's to me though it was more finally embarrassing. I wish I had a story about like a last minute header or do you know what I mean? But that is the thing. That and you know when I fell down outside Selfridges? Yeah. I talked about here I tripped up the curb and cut my knee quite badly and those builders and other people were laughing. I Worked near Selfridges. So I go past it. I get like a serious anxiety Every time I get to that curb and a step up like, you know that you know The footage of Neil Armstrong on the moon right where he does that massive step. That's like how big the step I did It's insane to watch now. Hmm. It's so fucking big to get up

What isn't that bigger fucking it's just embarrassing You just remind me my head all right, you've just reminded me something embarrassing that happened in in paddle yesterday Which I can't believe I've forgotten to tell you You know the tennis ball chip. Yeah. Yeah, you know, so like it's the long shape that I've just talked about Yeah, I can't believe I forgot this At one point near the end of the class. I can't believe I forgot this. At one point near the end of the class, I was talking to him and asking about like, you know,

booking courts and stuff like that. And I had a full tube. And as I casually sort of turned the tube over as I was chatting to him, I missed the bucket that the balls were going into. And they just went all over the floor again. Did you start it out and pretend it hadn't happened? Well I sort of tried to carry on talking as if like that was just a normal, like I meant to tip them out on the floor so that I could have a go at using the tube again. I couldn't bring myself to

react to what had happened. He must have just looked at me like, just with pity. I couldn't bring myself to react to what happened. And he must have just looked at me like just with pity. I couldn't even look him in the eye. It's so horrible. Yes. It's a low there. Anyway, do you want to do another email? Yeah, we can do bro. Okay.

Let's just do this one quickly because I'd want to know your thoughts on this. Right. Uh, high wall for now. I love the pod. It's my favorite week and I always can't wait for the next one. I don't know if you're serious about getting more listeners, we are very serious, or just being very humble. We're not being humble, okay?

To give you an idea of how not humble we're being, on League of Their Own, I'd been giving Meeks some, Big Meeks some shit about his podcast. He told me that he went to Look to give me some shit about my podcast with Tom said he couldn't find it on any of the charts right so so that gives you an indication of of where we're also in the studio but it was brought up uh the whole show the audience which i'd imagine a big rubbish fans i mean you're a host of that fucking it's a juggernaut of a show

a big Ramesh fans. You mean you're a host of that fucking it's a juggernaut of a show. And Meeks is one of my favorite people. Meeks is hilarious. Me and you both made a joke about Meeks being on podcasts and whatever. Big laugh of recognition wasn't there? Big laugh. And then Big Meeks went what about your podcast? And we went yeah the wolf it out and he went did anyone here know that Tom and Ramesh have a podcast to silence? I don't know what more we have to do. Well, be better at doing the podcast and be sort of bigger. Yeah, I mean, that's what you do. Deliver better content would be the answer to that. Anyway, I don't know if you're being serious about getting more listeners or just being very humble. But I know I didn't find your podcast podcast because your thumbnail on iPhone podcast is not your faces instead of your wolf and owl personas. Food for thought. So there you go. Do you think we should do like a modeling shoot and change that

thumbnail do you think? I don't think we should do a modeling shoot but it raises a good point doesn't it that people don't notice us doing a podcast. They think it's like some sort of superhero podcast. And what I would say is it does both things badly, right? Because if you don't know it's us and you might be interested in our work, you wouldn't click on it.

If you did think it was a superhero podcast, you'll click on it and be disappointed. So, not ideal really. Well, there's been two episodes in the sort of 400 odd that have been sort of quite superhero heavy. Have they? Which ones? When we talked about Marvel and shit. Okay. But how did you just like come up like two episodes out of the 400? Like how did you pull those numbers so quickly?

Well I can think of one specifically when we talked about in depth about the fact that you were stunned that I hadn't watched any Marvel movies at that point. Can I? Okay, why are we talking about this? Can I just, sorry, I've interrupted you, but I do want to say this really quick. Actually, what was the other one? Sorry, I interrupted you. This is really bad. So that was, we talked about me watching them chronologically, right? Yeah.

And then there was another one later on down the line where I actually mentioned I had sat and watched quite a few Of them and we talked about them again. So there's that's it. There's when I say to that we might We've you know, I don't know. I be more anyway. The point is this is not a superhero podcast What I will say is that I recently rewatched Avengers infinity war which in my opinion is the best is up there with the best Marvel films, right? I Can't believe how good it like there's so much amazing shit that happens in that film I think we've been desensitized to amazing shit happening in films that film is incredible I've not watched it I've not watched it what yeah I've not like I would say I've seen it twice in the cinema like it like the first time I go and watch it again with

You if you want to go and watch it Can I be absolutely honest full cards on the table why haven't part the reason I've watched it yet. I auditioned for it So which part did you audition for? I think it's a part like one of the villains in it. Oh, I know the part. Yeah, I know the part when you watch it I audition for the bar man in it, right? It's actually really iconic fucking cool. Yeah I know the part. When you watch it. I auditioned for the Barman in it. Right. It's actually a really iconic fucking cool scene. I didn't get it. Another one. I think I know the part. Is it like, it's one of Matthew McFadden's like guys in the computer bit.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why you wouldn't have got that part. I can see why I didn't get the fucking Barman because the part But guy plays a bar was fucking good well, what I'm gonna say to you now some is this I Think I'm an alright actor. Okay, I'm fine. Okay Why what I do think is I'm terrible at self tapes? Okay, that is Me and you that that is at self tapes. Okay that is just the whole thing of going hi I'm Ramesh Ranganathan, I'm a comedian, actor and writer and I'm auditioning for the part of blah blah blah in Deadpool. Thank you. Okay here we go. And then you hear Lisa at 11 30 at night utterly pissed off

reading the opposite lines into me. Yeah you know what what we get is Catherine, I'll be doing a drama. We should talk about this in depth next time. I was doing a drama. I was doing a drama once. It's a bit of Mindhunter. You know Mindhunter? Yes. The Netflix show.

I was doing it and I was through to the last two. It was during Covid. I don't know, pre-Covid, sorry. For whatever reason, I ended up having to do a self-tape, like they wanted to see another scene. So the sender's saying, like, can you try and do this in the next 24 hours? And I was like, shit, yeah, I was filming the next day,

so I was like, Catherine, we need to do this. What followed was me doing the lines, which were quite serious lines from one of the main serial killers in this, right, to Catherine just absolutely pissing herself behind the camera. And I was like, then having to try and cut round her laugh yeah I mean the number the number of times I've done self-tape and Lisa said I can't look at you while

you're doing this so I'm doing the lies of someone who's who's facing away from me because she can't bring herself to look at me yeah it's bad we should we should do a full episode yeah we should doests. Yeah, we should do, because I have got so close so many times to something cool. But can I also say, visualization has not worked for me, because I've got really close. And I've gone, right, I'm going to behave like I've got this. Not telling people.

I'm going to behave like I've got this part. I'm going to believe I've got this part. I'm going to imagine what it's like to turn. I'm down to the last two. I'm gonna believe I've got this part. I'm gonna imagine what it's like to turn I'm down to the last two. I'm in I've got it. Well, that's I'm gonna behave the universe just has to catch up and then I Didn't get that Anyhow, I need to go I've got a pretty serious game of golf to go and play. Okay. All right Listen, I love you. Thanks man. I love you too Okay, all right. Nice one.

Okay, listen. Thanks, man. I love you too. People love. Until next week, friends. Take care. Bye bye. Tom's brought it to an end.

Bye bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback, or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. Thank you.