Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - A Harmonious Life w/ Tatianna Merritt
Episode Date: August 9, 2023W.E. could either hope for a well-balanced life or truly achieve one! Here to share with our listeners how to maintain harmony is guest co-host Tatianna Merritt. As a wife, mom of four, content creat...or, and influencer, she tells of the constant need to retreat and seek peace through Christ. Our girl SJR kept it real and said even the "good" things threaten to distract us from who W.E. have the potential of becoming & Sis, W.E. felt that for somebody! Tuning into this episode will have you hanging onto individuality and prioritizing your faith, so go ahead & get into it! This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/EVOLVE and get on your way to being your best self!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
God can't bless you for tend to be or who you compare yourself to.
He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you.
I feel that for somebody.
You don't need no itch, it's a unique boundary.
What?
I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation.
All I need is a God fighting for me that's there.
All things, all that says all things all things all things
child
girl listen one of the things that i be struggling with i don't know if you struggle with them is trying
to be consistently balanced in every area of my life if i'm working out i'm not eating right if i'm
eating right i'm not working out if things are good with the husband, the kids are falling apart.
Things are good with the kids. The husband is like,
girl, where are you? I haven't seen you. And forever, where's the girl that I met in 2014?
I lost her. I don't know where she is.
Worrying all of the different things that I am balancing often make me feel like I don't know where to start.
I don't know how to start. I don't know if I even have what it takes.
And yet, I take a deep breath
and I remind myself that consistency is achievable as long as I have my priorities in check,
which means that I had to learn that putting myself as a priority is not a betrayal to my
priorities. Oftentimes, we are so busy trying to figure out what to prioritize that we don't
even consider that we need to be prioritized first.
I remember the first time I ever took his vacation.
So my husband has this tea time that he goes on and to a moment where he goes, he recalibrates,
he gets into the presence of God, he spends time by himself, he's an only child and so
he needs time to himself to recalibrate.
I wasn't an only child, but I need time to myself in order to recalibrate.
I'ma be honest with you.
The first time I told him I was going on a staycation,
I was really jumping fly.
I was really trying to be like,
you know what?
You are about to see just how much I do around this place.
You are gonna miss my absence.
You are gonna recognize who I am
and why it is so important that I chain myself to this house baby girl
I was gone for only a couple of hours before I was like I don't know if I'm ever going back
partial custody me please I will see these children every other weekend like I cannot you what is this?
Let's just start over
I realized that what I needed more than anything was to make prioritizing myself a part of my daily, weekly, and your routine.
How do I take five minutes in each day? How do I take an hour out of the week? How do I take a couple of weekends out of the year to take a minute and check in with myself?
When we recognize that it is not betrayal to check in with ourselves. Everything in our lives become better.
It seems weird because we think the only way that it can continue to grow is if we're present.
But the truth is taking a minute to reset allows us to re-enter our world with gratitude.
It helps us to qualify what's really a problem and what's not.
As a matter of fact, we might find that it actually helps us to save our marriage.
Tatiana Merit, learn this lesson.
I won't even say the hard way.
I'll call it the God way.
Her and her husband were going through a challenging time in their marriage.
Now, I have to tell you, on the outside looking in, this is probably a little hearted
believe.
They've got the cutest family.
She's beautiful.
They've got this beautiful dynamic.
They're pasturing.
It seems like they have everything together, but they faced a really hard
time. You would think that they got into marriage counseling and maybe they did.
You would think that they learned what was wrong in their marriage and maybe that
was a part of it too. But when Tatiana talks about this breakdown in their
marriage, she attributes the turnaround, not to what they did, but to what she did. The
way that she allowed herself to reconnect, to prioritize her relationship with God, to
remember who she was, and then from there, everything else in their marriage began to shift
into what it is today. She is a content creator and an influencer. She is in Detroit, Michigan,
but most importantly, she is a woman after God's own heart, not just for herself, but for others.
I cannot wait for you to experience what happens when you learn to breathe in deeply, journal if you need to, and to remember that you're called for this.
May have to set up some boundaries, may need to change some things, but you're still called, so girl, answer the call.
But maybe, let's three way with Tatiana first. Let's get into this episode
Hi
Hey, how are you?
Grime good. Yes, I'm good. How are you? I'm tired, but I'm good. Oh my I got tired on lock
But I'm glad we're finally able to do this. I see your comments, you're
constantly just supporting the work that we're doing. So I'm looking forward to getting
in to know you. You too, I appreciate this this moment. This is wonderful. So thank you
so much for having me. My pleasure, my pleasure. So you have to tell me, I get this question
often when people are like, how do you balance it all? Before I ask you, whether or not you're even balancing it all, I want to know, like, what are all of the
things that you are trying to balance in your life right now?
Gotcha. Yeah. So, so much, mommyhood of four babies. Okay. That's a lot. That's enough. Right. Myself. Yeah. Being a wife to my husband,
ministering, work within the ministry, being an author and just all that comes with that,
navigating my health, my sanity, my household, just so much friendships, family, it's just it's
a lot of aspects to life, to me.
Have you found that most of the time there's one area that feels like more out of balance
than the others and that area is, it all depends on what's happening
in whatever season you're in.
Exactly, yeah.
So for me, I have this thing of mom guilt
because there's four babies,
four little people that want my attention.
I get mom guilt, I feel like I don't give each child
enough time and that bothers me.
And so I try, I mean, I just try my best.
I don't even know how else to put it.
I try my best when they are home to give them the time
that they deserve my oldest daughter.
She wants dates with me.
We're still working on doing that.
But yeah, I think mommyhood, me is one of the biggest and then also time
with my husband. Because when the kids are gone, it's going to be me and him still.
Right. Like I still got to like you when they're gone. So how old are you?
So those are the two. So the old, this is 10. Her name is Lillian. Then I have Christina.
She's eight.
Andrew, he's six.
And then Alexandra, she's the baby she's four.
She's our little miracle baby.
Wow.
So that's every two years.
You got to meet a new little person.
Every two years.
It's like as soon as my body was starting to snap back,
got pregnant again.
Wow.
Okay, so now you're trying to balance all of these things,
well, also figuring out who you are and being married.
You have to tell me when you can tell
that you are out of balance, like your life,
like it feels like it's one thing after another
and nothing is working the way that it should.
What is the first thing that you do?
Meditate, go straight to God.
So for me, worship is huge.
It helps to like just usher me back
into the presence of God.
Because for me, like,
that's where I found my consistency
in hope is in my time with God,
in my pain from three years ago when I was going through a really bad time with my husband, we were talking a lot of divorce.
And so that's where I found that consistency to him, that he was the groundwork, he was the source to help me along the journey of life and having to navigate and figure out all the habits of things in life
outside of him, like the practical thing. But, but just realizing that like he just wants that
intimacy. And for me, that intimacy is what helps make everything make sense and just taking one day at a time because when I try to think of
everything as a big picture it freaks me out. Right. Like it gives me anxiety. I start to get nervous
and so it's like literally I'll just take one day at a time and at the end of the day I'm like
Lord thank you. Yeah. Thank you for getting me through, because it's like, I mean, as you know,
it's just so much happening.
We deal with so much.
There's so many aspects to our life.
Okay, so you mentioned that this happened
at a time when you were going through
a difficult season with your husband.
And I'm struck by that because I feel like
I've had moments in my marriage where we were going through a hard time
and I realized part of the reason why we were going
through a hard time is because the pursuit of a happy home,
the pursuit of a balanced home,
the pursuit of painting this picture
had prioritized itself over me having God as the foundation in my life.
One hundred, God is like my filter.
And it's so interesting because like I know that there are women who desire to be married,
there are women who desire to have children.
And then there are women who have those things and they desire to have more intimacy, more
alone time.
And I think part of the reason why we end up like on the other side of these fences,
once we actually achieve the thing that we want is because we recognize that what I
wanted can be distracting from who I am at my best or who I have the potential of becoming.
And when your life is hijacked by good things, these are blessings. Like the
marriage hopefully is a blessing. The children are blessings, but they can still be distractions
if they keep you from your core and connecting with God. And it was hard for me to not feel
like I was betraying my husband or betraying my children by saying at the end of the day,
like I need to get some time with me and God so that I can
be who I know I am in God and then everything else can adjust around that. So that's like, that's
I'm fascinated by what you said. Absolutely and you know so in my pain of dealing with that situation
with my husband, I got to a point where I was like I don't know what to do. I think I'm doing all the things right, and God made it so plain and simple.
Like you said, just come back to me.
I just need you to spend more time with me.
And let me tell you, he told me, he wanted me to wake up early, you know, to get in a quiet
space before everybody woke up.
And for me, I don't like to wake up early.
I am not a morning person.
So I had to be really intentional, right?
So I put my alarm on.
And sometimes I had to put two alarms on.
Because at first two days, I was like, I'm not waking up.
I'm tired.
My injury, it's also like, it's summertime.
So the kids don't even have to be up.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
Now I can sleep in.
And God, now you're telling me that you want me to wake up.
You know, I don't like to wake up early.
So on the third day, my alarm goes off.
I'm like, okay, I'm going to do this because I've exhausted all my other possibilities that
I think, you know, what could help in my marriage.
It wasn't working.
It wasn't switching nothing.
So I went outside.
I just had my phone, had a notepad, had a pan.
And I just started to like, my eyes just kind of opened up.
I was taking in the fresh air.
I was, you know, just listening to the breeze.
I put on worship and then that's when, you know, I was ushered
into the presence of God.
And he was able to speak to me clearly.
And everything he spoke to me is just like,
I just started jotting down.
And for me, so journaling for me is huge.
It's, I'm able to take everything that God is saying to me.
And now, like, visibly see it.
Because sometimes we can hear, but then it's like,
we forget about it.
You know, it doesn't sink in.
And so in these moments, I'm journaling.
And now I have proof.
Now I have all these words that God is reminding me.
He's encouraging me.
He's uplifting me.
He's giving me that hope and that power back that I had lost in that situation.
He had given me that peace back that I had lost.
You know, our home at that time was not peaceful. So, so for me, like you
said, same thing, having him as a core is crucial. Wow. And at that moment, it's like things
started to change. I started to see myself differently. He opened my eyes to just to realize that I'm not perfect.
And I actually need some work to do.
Which is crazy.
Yes.
Right?
Really?
Do I really need to work on my work?
Surely not me.
I can tell you all of the things wrong with him.
But why is this about me when it's him?
Right.
Nothing is wrong with me.
I'm perfect.
But no, but yeah, so he was able then in those moments to do a work on my heart.
And I was able to deal now in that situation in a totally different way.
I was being now consistent.
I was like, okay, God, you gave me peace yesterday.
I'ma come back out here again, do the same thing. So I was consistent for like 31 days journaling
and having all this.
And there was a shift.
And the work that God did through me,
my husband saw, and in turn, he shifted him.
You know, something, whatever God did in me,
and I can't even fully express,
I don't know, you know, whatever God does with our hearts. He was able to to work on his too and
By the grace of God we standing here today going on 13 years. Wow
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp
Over the last year my life consisted of a series of transitions, and what I know for sure
is that the path of least resistance isn't always the one to take.
At first, I couldn't tell if I was going in the right direction, but sometimes in life
we're faced with tough decisions, and the path forward won't always be easy.
That's why I lean towards therapy when tasked with difficult decisions.
Hear me clear, sis.
Talking to a therapist can support you
during those seasons of uncertainty.
So if you're interested in giving it a try,
I want to recommend BetterHelp Online Therapy.
It's professional, affordable, convenient, and effective.
Having benefited thousands of people thus far you do not
want to miss your opportunity to be in the number. Designed to help you move
forward in life better help will match you with the right license therapist
based on your personal preferences. All you have to do is fill out a brief
questionnaire. You know you could use some guidance. We all can. So let therapy be
your Mac with better help.
Visit betterhelp.com slash evolve today
to get 10% off your first month.
That's better H-E-L-P.com slash evolve.
That's such a blessing because I think that
people marriage is challenging, right?
It is.
Someone is just all up in your stuff.
Like they're watching your decision making,
they're questioning your decision making,
they're seeing you win, they're seeing you lose,
they're telling you, they're coaching you when you've lost.
Sometimes you're taking credit when you win
in those moments where you want to say it was all you
and you can find yourself
in marriage becoming territorial over what you have left. Like we've already combined this, we've already combined that and this is what I have left. And yet learning this dance of
when you win, I win and when you lose, we lose. And so how do we grow it? It can be so challenging.
Yeah, it's a team. It's a beautiful team.
But what I love about what you said is you're taking ownership of your role in it, your need for
growth. And one of the things that I think is so important for women when they're going through
any relationship challenge, not just marriage, any relationship challenge, is to first come to a
place where you identify your role in it,
whether you were complicit and allowing it to happen or aggravating and pushing it to
happen.
Like, what role do I play in this?
And what boundaries do I need to create in order for this to not happen again?
How do I self-south?
How do I give myself the thing that I am demanding this person?
Give me.
And I do think from the, we get to qualify whether or not we can engage with the person
in the most whole version of ourselves.
So I want to know like what is one thing
that you feel like you discovered about yourself,
that you have had to pay attention to moving forward consistently
in order to keep your marriage functioning at its best standard.
Honestly, it was just tapping into the I call it or God gave me it the inner her
Which is is him it's his spirit that dwells within us. He he created us all unique all different
But with him in us, I mean, there's nothing that we can't do. The thing is that we will read the scriptures, but we won't fully believe
the scriptures, right? It's like it's just reading pages. And so I got to a point where I allowed the scriptures to speak to my inner her like my
soul, like just deep within me to where I resonate and I believe every single thing that
is in that word.
And that came from the intimacy with God.
There's no other way around it. There's a boldness that came.
There's a confidence. And let me tell you, I don't know what I'm doing. Do you know, I'm saying,
like, who really knows? Like I said, we take it, we take our days day by day, trusting God that
the doors that he's open, you know, he's going to see that he is glorified. And so I just,
I just trust him. That into me see helps to catapult your fate, catapult your boldness. And,
and so I just trust in that in every area and every aspect of life.
that in every area and every aspect of life.
And in dealing with my husband, like I realize we're all flawed.
Okay, there's not one person that is not flawed, right?
And we all need grace.
And so just gets to the point where you're like,
you know what, I need grace daily.
So now I need to extend that grace to my husband. I need to allow him to walk his
journey out the same way I want him to allow me to figure this thing out. And now I'm
able to love you. And I think it just comes to the point I just got to point I just want
to love the way Jesus loves. That's it. Point blank. Jesus, can I be more like you?
Yeah.
That's it.
Every day, help me to be more like you.
Cardicy of stylish day bowling,
your girl is known to serve a look or whatever.
So what inside scoop can I give the girls
when it comes to must-have wardrobe essentials,
sculpting
body suits.
They are the firm foundation your waist has been searching for.
And recently shopping for a new body suit, I decided to finally give skims a try and
it's totally worth the hype.
The feeling is like no other shape where I've worn before.
It's so stretchy and soft that you'll forget your wearing
get. With sizes available and extra extra small to 4x, SKIMS is a solution oriented brand
creating the next generation of underwear, loungewear and shapewear for everybody. I love
their contouring bodysuits and think everyone should experience this level of comfort.
The fits everybody collection of body suits are lightweight,
form fitting essentials that stretch to twice its size.
They are sold in a range of cuts and fits along
with nine core color ways and limited addition seasonal color.
Since you've got to give them a try.
Believe the hype, this collection has over 90,000 5 star reviews for a reason.
Schemes fit everybody and more best-selling essentials are available now at Schemes.com.
Plus, get free shipping on orders of $75 all at Schemes.com. After you place your order,
be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select one evolve in the drop down menu that follows.
So it sounds like leaving space for individuality in your marriage has also helped for you
out of kind of heels. So I'm wondering, yes, as you've continued to add label after label
to your life and to your many roles as a pastor, a wife,
a mother, an entrepreneur, you continue to add these different labels. How do you hang on to your
individuality and not allow it to get lost in the sauce of who you are to other people?
I love me. I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you. I love you. watch a movie. I love to go out,
have dinner with my girlfriends. I mean, you know what I really love to do and I haven't done it
in a while. I need to get back to it. It's salsa dancing. Ah, fancy. Yes, girl. You better salsa dance. We love to see it. I need to get into it.
So yeah, there's lots of, lots of things I enjoy. Have you noticed that doing
those types of things like remind you of like your inner child, like allowing
your inner child to have fun? I think it helps me even with like my own
balancing of it all. Like I think it's me even with my own balancing of it all.
Like, I think it's difficult for me to always be
and like super mom, super business owners,
super pastor, like super super super mo,
it is too much.
Sometimes I just want to be a girl,
just like a little girl having fun.
And so as you are exploring all of your roles,
I wonder like that little girl,
how does she
have fun within you and how do you honor her existence?
Oh my gosh.
Okay, so let me tell you, first of all, my mom, she was, my mother was a model, okay, my
mother took care of herself.
And so I saw this as a young girl.
I had that as a model to take care of yourself physically and internally.
So just realizing God loves me the way I am and He wants me to continue to be youthful, not to allow the pressures of every role to consume you.
To remember that there is, like you said, a young girl, there's a playful side to you as well,
and you don't need to be so harsh and don't need to be so, you know what it is?
It's being authentically you.
Wow.
The way that God created you,
you know, everyone has gifts and talents
and things that they enjoy.
And I think a lot of times we look to other people,
not as just like an inspiration or role model,
but to be them.
And that is not what we are to do.
We need to find our gifts and talents and tap
tap into that. Like the things that I enjoy is not what somebody else you know may enjoy. So
so I mean just realizing that guy has made his own different
unique and walking in that and accepting that that we are not to be like anyone else has authenticity always been something that's easy for you or have you had to really really tell me about that.
Okay, so first of all just I mean just ministry itself so I.
I would I didn't grow up in ministry I didn't go to school.
I didn't grow up in ministry. I didn't go to school for this.
I was not a natural born speaker.
I actually had a fear of speaking
that came from when I was younger.
I used to do pageants and I bombed it
with the easiest question there ever was.
And since then, I had built up this wall.
I can't speak in front of people.
And it's like once I got to a point when I met
when I met my husband. I didn't know he was a pastor. I just met a tall darken handsome man
and there was something different about him that intrigued me and I was like okay I'm going to
give this a chance mind you I had just got out of a really bad relationship. I wasn't really looking for anything serious, but there was something different about
them.
And it was just, I don't even know how to express it.
I didn't realize that what I saw in him was God, that that's what I was intrigued to.
So I didn't grow up knowing how to be a pastor's wife.
I didn't know ministry, how about this?
I wasn't even saved at the time that I met my husband.
He's the one that led me to Christ.
And I had to learn on my own.
I had to figure things out and really tap in to God
and I connection with him. and just trust what he said.
And so I what I do sometimes is I like I'll hold on to his promises that he is help me
from you know help me in the past and I'm like Lord okay if you help me then I know you
can you can help me now. So I'm just grateful.
I'm grateful because I didn't grow up in all this,
but I'm trusting out one day at a time.
The work that he started, he's going to finish.
It's scary though.
It's scary.
Yes, it is.
Yeah, it really is.
I think the fear of messing it up, the fear of disappointing someone, the fear of learning
and teaching at the same time.
It's hard.
Yeah, like, I mean, there's been times where I'm like, God, why me?
Why would you choose me?
All the people in this entire world, why would you choose me? And one day he
said to me, he was like, why not? He was like, why not you? He's like, I've put myself
in you. So now you are prepared, you know, but you got to trust me and you got to do some
work. You got to get in your word, you got to read the words so the Scriptures can come alive.
Spend time with me in worship, spend time with me in prayer.
Do your journaling and so he's given me steps along the way and I see just what sticks,
what works and helps me.
But now, after that pain that I went through
and seeing that consistency, there was a shift.
And so now I have this new boldness,
that the mess he put me in,
or not the mess that he put me in,
but the mess that I was in,
he's now giving me a message to help somebody else
who may be going through the same mess,
to know that you don't have to stay there.
You can get out and with God, I mean, anything is possible.
Yeah, I was gonna ask you how did that,
how did you pivot from being the one who's new
and I'm still learning things
and I didn't grow up in this,
to someone who's now feeling equipped to be a teacher
and to pull other people up from the very things that you may have stumbled in.
It's honestly just been the doors that God has opened that I know myself and no other man could have done
and trusting that.
the man could have done and trusting that. Trusting that, like I said, what he has started, he's got to finish.
So I will bring his word, do his remembrance, be like, Lord, you put me here.
So now I'm going to need you to do a special work through me.
And it sounds like you feel a special message for people who've maybe had some of your
similar experiences, is that right?
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, in particular, women, I just, I have this passion inside of me that I want women
to know how love they are.
I'm realizing that so many of us were lacking. We're lacking in
in some certain area, but not realizing that we are all lacking in some areas. So
others look to other people like, oh, you got it together. You know, you must be
doing just fine. No, there's there's a lack that we all have and it takes working consistency and prioritizing it.
Being intentional on working through that. But I really just want to help women step into their
purpose, realize their purpose and they're calling it, that they're all created on purpose for a purpose,
for a time such as this, and that there is nothing that can stop you,
but you, it's your own mindset.
And it, we need to get out of our own heads
and start getting into our hearts,
because that's where God deals.
He deals with our hearts.
Always, okay, so what is one thing
that most people think that you possess,
that is actually something that you lack.
Wow.
I mean, there's so much in just insecurity in itself.
So for me, if I am not fully 100% good at something, I shy away from it.
I don't really want to do it.
And so everybody's like, oh, you're good.
You up there speaking, no, this is something that I do
intentionally because I'm trusting God.
And I'm trusting the path that He has me on,
but it doesn't mean that it's comfortable
and that I like it,
but I do it because I know that there's, there is some sort of inner peace that is like
that God has given me that this is where you are supposed to be, but it's not comfortable.
That's, I feel like the things that people applaud me for are the things that require I lean into God the most.
I'm like,
you're okay with what?
And this once you're not like speaking,
like that's not like it just required.
Like that is the area of my life.
It takes a lot, right?
It takes everything.
It takes absolutely everything.
And we'll say you do it very well.
Well, that's God showing up through me.
When I be praying, I'm like, here we are again,
because of you.
So let's do it one more time.
Yeah, let's see what can happen from here.
And I do think that ultimately,
that people are drawn not to our gifts,
not to our talents, people are drawn
to the things that we do in the earth
that require we partner with God.
And no matter what you do,
if you're not partnering with God,
you can't really bring transformation.
People can have a good time, they can have fun,
but people walking away saying,
my life was changed, that changed my life,
that changed the way I see my world,
that changes the way I see my trauma,
that can only happen through God.
And at the end of the day,
that is the only thing worth doing.
That is 100%. There is no change without God doing a work on our hearts. And like I said, I don't know how He does it. I don't know what He does, but when we enter ourselves, we
allow ourselves to realize that we don't know it all. We can't do it all.
That we are nothing without him. That he is the potter. We are the clay.
We are putty in his hands. And that honestly, we really can not do much, only so much without him.
That's where the power is. It's realizing that we are empowered through him.
And that's what he wants us to be.
He wants us to be like little children every day.
They say time waits for no one and neither should pay day to keep your money
moving in the right direction of your dreams.
Get earn in.
Earn in is an app that gives you access to your pay as you work up to
$100 per day or up to $750 per pay period. Hear me out. There are no credit checks, interest rates,
or mandatory fees. I could have used something like earn in back when I lived paycheck to
paycheck as a young mom. Not only would I have used it to make ends meet, but earn in shines
a light on earned wage access. Friend, gain some financial momentum without falling
into debt traps. Join earn in 3.5 million customers on a path towards self-sufficiency. Believe
me when I say getting paid as you work just got easy, download Earn in today.
Spelt EARN IN in the Google Play or Apple App Store.
When you download the Earn in App, type in Womeningvolve under Podcast.
It'll really help the show.
That's Womeningvolve under Podcast when you sign up.
Earn in is subject to your available earnings, daily max and pay period max.
See EarnIn.com slash TOS for details. Earn in is a financial technology company, not
a bank. Bank products are issued by Evolve Bank and Trust member FDIC.
What I love about how we started this conversation, when I asked you, what is the first thing
you do when everything is out of balance and you feel overwhelmed and you said I start
with meditation because the only way that we can consistently determine what we need
to prioritize, determine whether or not we need to create a boundary, what we say yes
to or no to, has to come from a place of center.
My husband wrote a book called Balance that really centers around this topic and
Making sure that we can discover that place of balance through meditation through sending out centering ourselves
It's how we learn to show up for other people. So I commend you for knowing that innately
I think the first thing I do when I feel overwhelmed and out of control is try to go to bed because maybe is that meditation? Maybe. I don't.
Kind of.
In a way, you can quiet.
You know, in solitude, resting.
Yeah, that's a form of meditation.
Tatiana, who is a woman in your life who has been most instrumental in helping you learn
how to prioritize.
Girl, that's hard. There's so many. Okay.
Oh, Jesus, there's so many. Okay.
So I'm going to say, okay, so there's two. I'm going to say my mother.
Okay.
Because she's so good at like taking care of herself, you know, having her friends group,
you know, being with her husband, being 100 for her kids.
And mind you, she's a woman that came from another country,
like her first language is not English.
And so her faith walk just in that,
married a man from the States,
and trust in that, leaving her whole world,
and her whole life,
coming to the US, barely speaking any English,
going to school to learn English,
just like her faith walk, all of that, and seeing that it is possible and her prioritizing just like
just everything was huge for me.
And so our relationship, my relationship with her from when I was a little girl to now
has always been so close, so tight, very loving and encouraging,
just unconditional all the time, but very honest.
But her prioritizing just every,
all the facets has been eye opening for me.
Yeah.
I love that you said she was honest.
I don't hear that as a trait that we,
a lot of people with often
because I do think that there is something about being honest
and knowing what you're getting from someone
that builds a sense of integrity and trust in that dynamic.
What's one thing?
You think it's gonna hurt?
Yeah, even if it's gonna hurt.
Yeah, you know, try and put a little anesthesia on there
but certainly make sure the
person gets it. What's one thing that you hope that your mother knows about the impact
that she's had on your journey of womanhood?
Hmm.
My God, you try to make me cry girl.
Yeah, she has a dear place in my heart, but honestly, it's just thank you because she,
to me, is the epitome of unconditional love.
I don't remember even in my childhood ever having any, like, any much discord with her.
She was always hands on and pleasant.
And like I said, just loving 100 and it rolls into now
with our children and how present she is
and how hands on and how much they try to
she tries to get my children almost every week yet I swear if my kids could live there they would.
And so I would just say mom thank you for.
Your unconditional love showing.
God's love in a human form. Wow. To give me an example of how now I
need to show that same love and grace to everyone else, even while you're taking care of a family
and yourself and you're working and learning a new language and becoming a citizen of the United States
and you know just all her journey and her faith walk.
So just thank you Mama.
Mmm, beautiful.
She sounds like an incredible woman and she is.
Yeah, that she gave birth to an incredible woman.
So thank you, Tatiana, for spending time with us.
Thank you, girl.
Thank you.
I look forward to hopefully meeting you in person one day.
If we get to connect on the socials a lot,
but this was hopefully the beginning.
No, I need like a real life hug.
Yes.
I need that real connection.
I'm a happy one.
I'll meet you and me too.
I love a good hug.
I'll be good. I'll be good. Thank you. You take care. I. I love a good hood. I think good.
Thank you.
You take care.
I hope you have a good day.
I will.
Thank you to you.
Bye.
Bye, bye.
Okay, girls.
So we all want to know when is the staycation booked?
What are you going to do to interrupt your daily schedule so that you can make sure you're
making time for yourself?
As a matter of time, we really want to mind your business.
I want you to send us a video or a picture of you taking care of you.
Just snap it selfie, send it to us at podcasts at warmlybob.com.
We want to see how you are consistently prioritizing you, your relationship with God, so that you
can show up for the people in your world.
I so enjoyed this episode and I hope
you did too. We'll be back next week talking all things consistency, all things evolving, all things
in the presence of God so that we can become everything we're meant to be. We'll talk to you next week. you you