Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Character Development in God w/ Sarah Jakes Roberts

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

You do know two intentions can run parallel to one another, right? Take, for instance — what the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good. During some one-on-one time with SJR, she breaks down scripture, shares how to maintain our character in times of calamity, and speaks to moving in the power of God. This week’s advice segment touches on friendship breakups, so chile if you’re in need, pull up a chair! Not only does SJR share her Spring Break plans, but GUESS whose viral TikTok videos have been her guilty pleasure? Press play on this episode to find out!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You don't put those inside of you, do you? This is a show about women. I mean, you do? Yes. Finally, a show about women that isn't just a thinly veiled aspirational nightmare. It's not hosted, not narrated, we're just dropping into a woman's world. I found out when my dad was gay when I was ten. We were in a convertible on the 405 freeway, listening to the B-52s. Looking back, I should've

said this is gay. This is already all gay. Listen to finally a show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone in our country has a voice. It's something that says not just where you come from, but who you are. Welcome to NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, a collection of podcasts and a celebration of the hosts in journalism who've always spoken truth to power. Our voices are as varied, nuanced, and dynamic as the Black Experience, and stories should never be about us without us. Find NPR Black Stories, Black Truths on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Every Thursday, my newest venture is educating you on how to win financially. Even better, I'm going to teach it in a way that, well, you can understand.

I'm going to meet you where you are and take you where you need to be. We all might have different starting points and end goals, but as long as we have the desire to acquire financial freedom, it can be done. Listen to Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant every Thursday on the Black Effect Podcast Network. I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi there, I'm Bob Pippman, Chairman and CEO of I Heart Media.

I'm excited to announce a new season of my podcast, Math and Magic, stories from the frontiers of marketing. Our guests this season show us big risk can yield big rewards like Rob Riley, the creative head of one of the world's leading advertising firms. I try to create environments where anybody can say anything without any judgment.

Listen to a brand new season of Math and Magic on our very own iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Vanessa Bayer and this is my brother Jonah. And we are so excited to have you here the latest season of our nostalgia theme podcast, How Did We Get Weird? Not only do you get to know me and my brother, you get to know the stories that made us the absolutely rad people we are today. Like you, Jonah, who's a music person and also a mental

health counselor. And you, Vanessa, who is an actress, comedian, and I think you even wrote a children's book. Wow. I sure did. Check out our episodes where we welcome hilarious guests like our friend Andy Sandberg. That's it, that's really it! And Queen Casey Wilson. I really went cart before the horse. I said, I think I have an opportunity to interview Linda Caprio.

Oh my God. As a high school student. Plus legendary sisters Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar. You would pull the bag out and then we would eat all the leftover chocolate chips, which was a lot. Then you'd roll the barrel up the hill and then one of us would get inside the barrel and they'd push you down. And we've also had an amazing guest like Mike the Miz, Jason Isbell, Kerry Brownstein and

Corin Tucker of Slater Kinney, and many more. And you do not want to miss out on our funny segments like Change.Dork, and congratulations, you played yourself. Congratulations, you played yourself. Listen to our podcast, How Do We Get Weird on the iHeart Radio App, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Can you maintain your character when life isn't going the way you plan? I did not wait until I felt secure to follow what God called me to do.

Our faithfulness is tested in the ways that we respond to the things that seem inconsequential. Is your faith one is going to end at the point of conflict or are you willing to go down with the ship? What's up? What's up? This is Sarah Jakes Roberts. You are listening to another episode of the Woman Evolved podcast. I am so grateful to be back at the desk with you. How are you? It is March. We are still celebrating women's history. So excited about all of the posts that I am seeing on social media.

Friday we had International Women's Day and I am just so full from seeing women honoring other women, seeing the fellas get in, honoring other women as well. So what's up to you ladies? I hope that you are doing something so fresh, so new, so innovative for you, for your family, for your community, that it will one day be historical. And just for the record, that could be as simple as taking a little nap.

Baby napping in a world where they say we got to keep on hustling is historical. Don't feel the pressure to make history. Just be yourself and I bet you're going to do something historical. How are you? What is going on in your world? Let me tell you, so I am in and out of the gym, in and out, in and out, in and out. I did two weeks strong, my legs are sore, next week is spring break. Here's my problem. If I do not do one specific workout,

I do no working out at all. And I'm trying to break that curse. I'm trying to break that curse off of my life. So I'm going out of town for spring break with my girls and I have every intention of packing a jump rope, you know, doing a little body weight video online. I have to stay in shape. I cannot keep starting from ground zero.

It is showing up in my body and I do not enjoy it. What are you all up to? What's happening in your world? What's happening in your internet, in your web? I'm trying to think, oh my gosh, okay, so let's just catch up. I watched Risa Teaser on TikTok. I watched her show, I watched the series,

I binge watched it, had it in my ear, played it from the playlist. I know some of y'all say, I don't have time, I don't have time. You all are not better than us. You all are not more responsible than us. Maybe a little bit, maybe a little better, maybe a little bit more responsible.

But let me tell you, it was quite the story. I was very intrigued. I, like most of you, like when I saw it, and I saw it was 50 parts, I was like, there is absolutely, positively, no reason why this need to be 50 plus parts long. There's no reason for it. Baby, when she got finished telling that story,

I understood it because I would not just want to skim over like some of the things that she told in that story. I would want you to know every single, when I say every single detail, I would want you to know every single detail because there are just some things that are like you would not believe what I went through. You wouldn't believe it if I told it to you. So big ups to her. Lots of things happening in her world, in her life. And I just love to see a woman living out fully what the enemy meant for evil God meant for good.

Like period. I don't even know, like I don't know what she was. Well, I do know what she was. One of the things she worked for, parole or in correction office, in the correction office. Let me tell you something. I don't know if she realized how gifted she was

as a storyteller, as a writer. Maybe she did, but she didn't have a pathway to get there. When she got finished telling this story, I just believe that there was so much affirmation in gifts and talents and opportunities that God knew all along. I tell this story all the time about when I was pregnant as a teenager

and somebody came up to me and they told me I always knew to expect something like this out of you and your girl was devastated. I was just like, what is, what energy am I giving off? What's wrong with me that this is something that people would expect from me. It made me question myself, it made me doubt myself. And even as I began to really develop a relationship with Jesus, really begin to seek righteousness

and to get my life together, you know, I still wondered, like, am I good enough that that no longer exists? Like, have I gotten to a space where that no longer exists? I started wanting to evolve and I'm like, okay, I started Woman Evolved, but like I don't know if that, like am I, whoever that was where someone looked at me and expected something like that from me, like am I still that girl? And when I was worshiping, why am I, okay, yeah, when I was worshiping right before the very first time Woman Evolved ever went on tour, I was worshiping right before the very first time Wombin' Evolve ever went on tour. I was feeling all of the inadequacy,

all of the feelings of just insecurity and instability. And just for the record, you know, I was going anyway. Like the tour was planned, it was already out there. I did not wait until I felt secure to follow what God called me to do. I did it unsure because there was something undeniable that was happening whenever I preached, whenever I shared my heart for God with women. There was something just undeniable where people left and they were like, I want to know who God is.

I want to trust God. I want to get back connected with Jesus. Like something was happening that was beyond how I felt. And so I was going on tour to create these environments anyway. And so I'm working on that. I'm working on that. I'm working on that. I'm working on that. I'm working on that. I want to get back connected with Jesus like something was happening that was beyond how I felt And so I was going on tour to create these environments. Anyways, I'm worshiping. I'm like God Jesus holy spirit. All of y'all come here. Let me talk to you real fast

Because I just don't feel like I'm the girl who can say anything to these girls Like I just don't feel like I have what it takes. And in my worship, I just heard God say, I always knew to expect something like this from you. And those words have taken on a brand new meaning for me. And there is something so powerful about us getting to a space where what the enemy meant for evil, God shows us all along the way. I meant it for good. I don't understand what the big fat ones are. You don't put those inside of you, do you? I mean, you do? Yes. This is a show about women. Okay, so I just reapplied my lip gloss after eating a delicious lunch. We are headed back now to European political systems class at Baruch College. Woo!

Finally, a show about women that isn't just a thinly veiled aspirational nightmare. That's it, that's actually the name of the show. It's not hosted, not narrated, we're just dropping into a woman's world. It's like reality TV, on the radio. I found out when my dad was gay when I was 10, we were in a convertible on the 405 freeway, listening to the B-52s, and looking back I I should have said, this is gay. This is already all gay. Listen to finally a show on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Everyone in our country has a voice. It's something that says not just where you come from, but who you are. Welcome to NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, as a voice. It's something that says not just where you come from, but who you are. Welcome to NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, a collection of podcasts and a celebration of the hosts in journalism who've always spoken truth to power. Our voices are as varied, nuanced, and dynamic

as the Black Experience, and stories should never be about us without us. Find NPR Black Stories, Black Truths on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm John Ho Bryant, host of Money and Wealth on the Black Effect Podcast Network. I'm an entrepreneur and a businessman.

Some would call a thought leader. Now, every Thursday, my newest venture is educating you on how to win financially. Even better, I'm going to teach it in a way that, well, you can understand. No unexplained theories, no mundane lessons, no using 20 words when two will do. I'm going to meet you where you are and take you where you need to be. I'm giving you straight talk, relatable stories, and life lessons through my own experiences and the lens of others. We're not just talking about why financial freedom is

important. We're focusing on how you can achieve it too. We all might have different starting points and end goals, but as long as we have the desire to acquire financial freedom, it can be done from the streets to the suites. Listen to Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant every Thursday on the Black Effect Podcast Network. iHeartRadioApp, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, it's Angela Yee, host of Angela Yee's lip service. If you listen to my podcast, you know I love making space for women to be themselves. That's why I'm excited to be part of Women Take the Mic. iHeartRadio's celebration of the women who make music, influence change, and create culture. be themselves. That's why I'm excited to be part of Women Take the Mic, I Heart Radio's celebration of the women who make music, influence change, and create culture. All month long, your favorite voices from Talk Radio, Music, and Podcasting will highlight the remarkable achievements made by women and discuss the most significant issues facing us today. Search Women Take the Mic to listen to a collection of international women's day episodes from I hearts top

podcast, including dear Chelsea the psychology of your 20s and live service. It's a great way to support women and discover your new favorite show head to I heart radio dot com slash women's day for more and listen to women take the mic on the I heart radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get to a podcast. Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. to know their HRD status, to not pass it on to me. To dreams achieved. Or still yet unfulfilled. From people who have made it.

We started a hospital based violence intervention program called the IV Project and it stands for interrupting violence and using young adults. To those who have been left behind. But no one talks about the survivors of the gun violence and the numbers rising because the gun violence has risen. Politically. Financially. Emotionally. Politically, financially, emotionally, spiritually. This is where we are.

This is Black Land. And one of the things that my father said to me before he passed away, it's almost like a prophecy. He said that I would be helping men. Listen to Black Land on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast. Or wherever you get your podcast. Radio app, Apple podcast. Or wherever you get your podcast.

When we truly begin to recognize that there are two intentions running at the same time, it helps us to understand that even though there is one plan that is more visible, there is another plan working. You know, maybe it's undercover, maybe it's under the radar. Oof, I got chills even thinking that like, ugh, okay, so you know, I don't know if you guys watch

like the little action, the little action movie. Everything gonna be little for me. I don't know why that little, little, little, little. Anyways, some little action movies where there's like this intense mission going on and the only way that they can survive the mission is if they start flying under the radar. There are moments where God's plan and the enemy's plan are taking turns under the radar and sometimes what we see so clearly is the enemy's plan. We see the way that he's seeking to kill, steal, and destroy our lives.

We see the way that we have been damaged, broken and abused. We see the way that we have eaten from forbidden fruit and can't access God or feel so ashamed that we can never experience his presence in the way that we were intending to. And yet all while that is happening, there is also the reality that God's plan is flying under the radar. Our job in really having faith in God's plan for our life is to get to a place where we trust that even though we can't see it, that God's plan is working under the radar. And I feel like what we experienced with Risa Tisa was this radical swap of all of

a sudden God's plan throughout her whole experience that was working underneath the radar is now so visible. When you have access to moments like this, whether it's your moment or another moment, or someone else's moment, you have to be willing to take note at how God works. She was going through all of that stuff. Even when she she told the video she reminded me of myself because she's like listen there's nothing you can call me that I haven't said to myself. So she has bought into the enemy's narrative about who she is and now my prayer for her is that she will buy into God's narrative about who she is that I still have a plan for you, that I still have good available to you, that there is still an opportunity through your testimony for

you to experience healing and growth and development. We have to make sure that we are allowing God's plan to speak as loudly and as clearly as the enemy's plan because he got a microphone. It's giving megaphone out here and God's plan is sometimes a whisper until it becomes so loud, so undeniable that we have no choice but to surrender to becoming powerful in God. It's one thing to become powerful in your own strength, in your own might because someone else gave you influence. It is another thing to become powerful in God and when we become powerful in God, it may not be as visible as us becoming powerful

in our own strength and our own talent, but when it does become visible, there is no denying on a soul level that God is with you and God is for you. That was a long intro. Usually I'll just check in on y'all, but we was catching up. I was telling y'all about Risa Teeth.

I was trying to figure out what else was going on on the internet. I can't remember. Y'all leave Shannon Sharpe alone. I have to see what else. I be on TikTok for research, okay? I'm on TikTok for research. I am not on TikTok because I have nothing else to do

as a responsible podcast host. I consider it my duty to understand what is going on the interweb. All right, y'all already know what it is. We are going to have a little question. First of all, the question isn't little. It's a long question. And you know what?

I like it because when I say I want to mind your business, I mean, I want to mind all of it. Send me your question to podcast at wamnevv.com. I love to hear your voice. I love it when you send it to me in a video and I have an opportunity to see your face, to see your hand movements while you're telling me the story. But I know some of you all are like, I want you to mind my business, but mind your business at the same time. And in that case, you can send me an email. When you send me the email, I will not mention your name. You can send that email to

podcast at wamenevolve.com and you can tell it like a T-I-E is and I will share with you what I know. In the multitude of counsel, there is wisdom. So I'll share mine. Maybe someone else will write in and respond if you have a similar situation or they have some wisdom or insight that I missed. Email it to me podcast at womenevolve.com. Let's listen to this week's question. Since November, my best friend and I haven't spoken because of a party that she wanted to have for Christmas. Before I get into the detail, at one point we both had all of the same friends, which

was only five of us. When I entered my second year of college I backed away from everyone because I realized that I no longer needed to be surrounded by them and it served me no purpose. Everyone is cordial, no drama or anything, we just no longer communicate. So the only person that I communicated with was my best friend. We've been best friends for over five years now, long story short. She got mad that I didn't want to attend a party, petty, right? Because I didn't want to be uncomfortable in that situation surrounded by four other people I no longer speak with

and haven't had a full conversation within like two years now. In another message, she said, she said, my own best friend can't even be supportive and that I never want to do things with her, but are always with the people I met while on campus, which are my roommates. Right there, I almost went off, but I didn't respond because I felt like she was questioning my loyalty and the person that I am.

I've never been told that by anyone, I'm always the person that people run to even when I'm facing things on my own. I felt like that alone told me all that I needed to know. Everything that I've tried to do with her and the friend group back then for fun and for success was always talked about, but moves never happened and sometimes everyone would be together and I would be the only one who was told nothing about it whatsoever. I guess her seeing that I do things with the people I've met in college made her feel a certain way. It is crazy that I was caught unsupported because

I've always been the only one who was always there for her in every obstacle. My response was, if you don't want to accept the fact that certain environments are no longer for me, then I don't know what to tell you. She responded, it is what it is, I don't care no more. It has now been three months since I last spoke to her and before this situation, I kept getting this feeling

that God was preparing me for a new season. I started letting go of a lot of things and backing away from people. I'm only 20 years old and I feel like this area that I'm in is a part of me growing. I've always been really mature for my age and God is allowing me to see things for what they are and not what I want them to be. I've never been the type to not make moves when it comes to my success because I know that I am on a mission so I can't just talk about things and sit around like it's going to come to me. I have to do what God is telling me ever since I've backed away from so much. I've changed in so many ways.

I'm not the same person that I used to be. I don't hold the same conversations that I used to hold. I'm growing so I know that if I'm not around people who are doing the same then this is probably how they would view me as well. But I feel great about this version of myself and my college journey is coming to an end. I've always been a church girl but being able to actually be in sync as I get older makes situations a whole lot better. There are times when I want to text her

because that's my girl, but at the same time I get a feeling that's like just leave it alone. So Sarah, girl, what should I do? Friendship breakups are absolutely positively horrible, especially when you are at this stage in your life where you can begin to feel yourself shifting in the direction of more intentionality of purpose of getting really serious and when you begin

to shift in that direction and people are not moving at the same rate in the same pace as you're moving in it can be very challenging isolating and lonely. I know this very well, and I think that one of the things that we have to do is really let things be what they are. We have to be willing to ask ourselves, am I forcing something to be something it's not, or am I shrinking to fit into something that once was? And if you are shrinking to fit into something that once was, you can maintain the friendship and lose yourself, or you can dare to stand in the fullness of who you are

and risk the friendship changing. I have to say that in my experience in having circumstances like this, and I have had quite a few, especially from adolescents into my 30s, that one of the things that I had to be careful of was not weaponizing my growth, not using my growth as an excuse to down someone else. Giving someone else the space to be on a different path, at a different pace is something that we do not talk about enough.

And while it is true that sometimes people walk away from us and sometimes we have to walk away from people, if we do so thinking that we are somehow better than them, then we end up just becoming prideful instead of compassionate to where they are in their journey. The reason why I believe that exercising compassion is important is because at the end of the day we may be in a situation where we are in the same rooms where our path is aligning and just because we can't grow together now doesn't mean that there won't be a season in which we can connect again and one of the things that I learned is that there were so many instances where I knew that I was growing in a

different direction of someone and made the decision to demonize where they were in order to justify us walking away from one another. And when I demonized where they were, it didn't make me feel any better. If you really want to get over, get over quote unquote, a friendship that has no longer, that no longer, that no longer has the ability to serve where you are, then my suggestion is to leave that friendship

with gratitude, to be thankful for the time that you share together, to honor the role that that person played in your life, while also honoring where you are now. And you never go wrong with honor. You do not need to demonize them in order to walk away. And do not need to demonize them in order to walk away and if you have to demonize them in order to walk away, I think it's a sign of immaturity within itself. To be able to say you know what I really didn't need that friendship, it helped me survive

college, it helped me get through this and that person was a good friend to me then but for who I am now that friendship no longer serves me. To say goodbye with respect and honor is the greatest gift that we can give that person as an individual and child of God while also honoring our growth. It's not always easy, but when you create boundaries, you begin to really understand who is supportive of your growth and who is just not a good fit for you right now. And it takes a lot of courage to identify that and make a decision based off of what you see. As many of us we identify it, but we don't make decisions based off of what we see and we just end up internalizing the knowing that something is no longer for us and then just move on pretending as opposed to activating what we know.

And you cannot reasonably expect for God to give you more clarity, more vision, more direction when you don't already move on what He's giving you as a knowing. Our obedience is not just saying, God, yes, I'll do whatever you tell me to do, but God, I will pay attention to the knowings that you put in my spirit and I will make decisions and I will adjust according to what I know. And I feel like that's something that many of us could benefit from activating even more. I was just about to send a message. I was going to screenshot a message that came to me

and send it to someone else. And I just thought the Holy Spirit just be like, don't do it. And it seems like it's so small and so minuscule. Like this doesn't have anything to do with the sermon. It has nothing to do with ministry, but what it does have to do with is me being obedient even to the things that don't seem like they matter.

You may not believe that, you know, you pretending to still get along with someone who you know is diminishing your growth, or you pretending to say yes to something when you really want to say no, is a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but we are tested, our faithfulness is tested, in the ways that we respond to the things

that seem inconsequential. If you are faithful over a few things, I'll make you ruler over many. This is not just about the acquisition of things, but about the character connected to the little things that God has given us. And so we have an opportunity every day to exercise the type of character required

for where God is taking us. Sometimes it's not the lack of God having somewhere to take you or the lack of having a purpose or the lack of having gifts or talents, but do you have the character and does it show up in the small things? Or are you gonna activate the character once you get to the big moments?

And so I think it's very admirable that you are activating the character that you need now for where God is taking you. And in the perfect world, everyone would adjust to that activation, but not everyone is willing to do that. And so you take the hard, lonely road of transitioning. And as you transition, do it with respect and honor, keeping your heart open to the ways that that person can grow, and the ways that God could bring someone else in your life.

Evolve. I don't understand what the big fat ones are. You don't put those inside of you, do you? I mean, you do? This is a show about women. Okay, so I just reapplied my lip gloss after eating a delicious lunch. We are headed back now to European political systems class at Baruch College. Woo! Finally, a show about women that isn't just a thinly veiled, aspirational nightmare.

That's it, that's actually the name of the show. It's not hosted, not narrated, we're just dropping into a woman's world. It's like reality TV, on the radio. I found out when my dad was gay when I was 10, we were in a convertible on the 405 freeway, listening to the B-52s. Looking back, I should have said, this is gay. This is already all gay.

Listen to finally a show on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone in our country has a voice. It's something that says not just where you come from, but who you are. Welcome to NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, a collection of podcasts and a celebration of the hosts in journalism who've always spoken truth to power. Our voices are as varied, nuanced, and dynamic as the Black experience, and stories should never be about us without us.

Find NPR Black Stories, Black Truths on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm John Ho Bryant, host of Money and Wealth on the Black Effect Podcast Network. I'm an entrepreneur and a businessman. Some would call a thought leader. Now every Thursday, my newest venture is educating you on how to win financially. Even better, I'm going to teach it in a way that, well, you can understand. No unexplained theories, no mundane lessons, no using 20 words when two will do. I'm going to meet you where you are and take you where you need to be.

I'm giving you straight talk, relatable stories, and life lessons through my own experiences and the lens of others. We're not just talking about why financial freedom is important. We're focusing on how you can achieve it too. We all might have different starting points and end goals, but as long as we have the desire to acquire financial freedom, it can be done. From the streets to the suites. Listen to Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant

every Thursday on the Black Effect Podcast Network. I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, it's Angela Yee, host of Angela Yee's lip service. If you listen to my podcast, you know I love making space for women to be themselves. That's why I'm excited to be part of Women Take the Mic. I Heart Radio's celebration of the women

who make music, influence change, and create culture. All month long, your favorite voices from Talk Radio, music, and podcasting will highlight the remarkable achievements made by women and discuss the most significant issues facing us today. Search Women Take the Mic to listen to a collection of International Women's Day episodes from I Heart's Top Podcasts, including Dear Chelsea, The Psychology of Your 20s, and Lip Service. It's a great way to support women and discover your new favorite show. Head to IHeartRadio.com slash Women's Day for more. And listen to Women Take the Mic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast,

or wherever you get your podcasts. The Black Information Network and six-time Emmy-nominated news anchor, Vanessa Tyler, welcome you to Black Land. A podcast about the ground on which the black community stands right now. From stories about salvation. And loss.

They did not love themselves enough to know their HRV status, to not pass it on to me, to dreams achieved or still yet unfulfilled from people who have made it. We started a hospital based violence intervention program called the IV project and it stands for interrupting violence and using young adults to those who have been left behind. But no one talks about the survivors of the gun violence and the numbers rising because the gun violence has risen. Politically, financially, emotionally, spiritually, this is where we are. This is Black Land. And one of the things that my father said to me before he passed away, it's like almost like a prophecy. He said that I would be helping men. Listen to Black Land on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast.

Or wherever you get your podcast. Like so many of you, I grew up in church. Some of you did not grow up in church, but you grew up around it. I will tell you that part of my experience in church, and mind you, when I was growing up It was part of the height of the purity culture. So everything was kind of about like performative relationship with God

You do the right thing all of the time if you can't do the right thing all of the right time Then you do not have as much worth or value as other people then you do not have as much worth or value as other people, especially as it relates to your body, as it relates to your body, how you carry yourself, there was a desire to be this person who, you know, was pretty, I'm going to say blameless and constantly, I won't even say pursuing righteousness, because like the idea was like they had already arrived

and they had achieved it. I did not fit in in church because I kind of knew like, listen, I'm trying to figure out how you do this thing. Like how do you even get to a place where that is your experience? How do you get to a place where you are living blamelessly and righteously and no one was really explaining it or at least maybe I wasn'teously and no one was really explaining it,

or at least maybe I wasn't paying attention, but no one was really explaining it. It just seemed like either you get it or you don't. I took many years to finally learn that character is something that is developed. It's not necessarily something that you just get. I think part of why I am such a advocate, I guess for gentle parenting is because even the idea

that like you do something wrong, you get a whooping and you're not supposed to do it again is a little performative. At least it was for me. Let me speak about my, let me sweep around my own front porch. And as a result of it being performative for me, I never learned like why what I did was wrong. And I never felt a conviction necessarily to do right as much as I

was like, I'm either not going to do it again, because I don't want to whoop in, which I think was the goal, or I'm going to do it differently next time. Instead of the challenge of this is not the kind of person you want to become. A person who makes these types of decisions are X, Y and Z and these are the types of relationships that they lose and the type of people they attract because character is so important. We weren't breaking it down.

And so as I said, many years for me to get to a place where I'm like, okay, I need to have character development for myself so that I understand the value of integrity, of honesty, of loyalty, of communicating in a way that makes a person feel safe and being a safe place where someone's secrets are safe with me. That was something that was developed for me. It wasn't something that I just got naturally. Maybe it's with me. Like that was something that was developed for me. It wasn't something that I just got naturally and maybe it's just me, you know, but that's a part of my experience,

creating a space for other people to be vulnerable. All of that was developed through character development. And so if you are in a position where you are constantly undergoing the process of character development, I want you to know one, you are not on your own. Secondly, I want to encourage you to be intentional about understanding what type of person you want to be.

Um, you know, as I'm talking all about power moves, I'm reading it. I'm constantly consuming it and just trying to figure out how do I continue to unpack everything that God gave me when God gave me this book. But part of it really was just this practical guide to developing characters so that you can show up in the world in a way that gives you confidence and our character is developed through submission

to the Holy Spirit. So when we talk about what type of person you want to be, what are the values of the person you desire to be? I will give you an example as a mother. I guess I want to be easy to talk to, but I also want to be committed to telling the truth. I want to be a parent who can apologize. I want to be vulnerable with my children

about the choices and decisions that I made. I want to help them understand why they've been, maybe making some of the decisions that they have made. And so that requires dialogue and intentionality. And what's wild is as a teen mom, you know, raising a kid at 14 versus raising kids at 35 is obviously completely different because at 14, I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do.

Tapping that laughy-taffy, yelling if necessary. And my child, you know, very respectful, loves me very much, yes ma'am, no ma'am, all of those things. And yet like he doesn't ask me for anything. I can remember when he was maybe in middle school and I looked at his shoes, I was like, are your shoes too small? And he was like, yes ma'am,

I just didn't want to ask you for anything. I had trained him to think similarly to the way that I think that I was raised and that your needs and no matter how legitimate they are, could be an inconvenience. So if you could just keep them to yourself, unless absolutely necessary, that would be ideal. And so now even in his twenties, like I'm constantly asking him like, you know, not necessarily just what do you need, but like, how did that make you feel and making sure that I am creating a space where he can tell me what he needs without judgment. And so those are some of the things that

I want to hold near to me as I seek to be a mother that moves in power for my children. And who I am as a mother, though there is certainly overlap, may be different than who I am as a businesswoman. As a businesswoman, I want to be direct. I want to be clear. I want to be concise.

I want to be compassionate. I want to maintain a boundary. And so as a businesswoman, I want to be compassionate, I want to maintain a boundary. And so as a businesswoman, I'm having to navigate how does that show up in my decision making? The problem is like there is who we want to be, but then there is who we are in the moment when it's time for me to actually activate those things. How do I make sure that as a parent, I'm not tapping back into what feels normal and culturally acceptable for me. And how do I make sure that my actions align

with my desire and that I am showing up in the way that I have consulted God and come away with as my blueprint for an existence that looks more like him. If as parents, we are the closest reflection to God, our children first experience, what precedent do I want to set for their relationship with God, and am I taking that seriously? That is part of what I asked myself.

I was looking in Job 1, and part of the reason why I was looking in Job one is because Job was not just Chosen because of Who he was he Job wasn't just chosen as some random person in the Bible and Job was chosen Because he was blameless and upright and one who feared God and shunned evil as a matter matter of fact, one of the titles within John and Job once is Satan and Tax Job's character. And so Satan and Tax Job's character, he says, have you considered that is, you know, the Satan is roaming to and fro looking for someone that he may devour. And the Lord says, have you tried my servant Job? And the Satan said, no, okay, the Lord says to Satan,

have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil. And Satan answered, Lord, says, does Job fear God for nothing? Have you not made a hedge around him and around his household

and around all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands and his possessions have increased in the land, but now stretch out your hand and touch all that he has and he will surely curse you to your face. The enemy attacks what Joe possesses, but the attack was really on his character. The Lord says to Satan, Behold, all that he has is in your power, only do not lay a hand on his person. Oh, this is so good to me.

When I wanna, I begin on my own nerves. I wanna say this the way I hear it in my head. When the Lord says, but do not attack his person, the Lord is saying that you can attack anything around him, but keep his person intact who he is as a person. You cannot touch, but the enemy is of the philosophy that if I touch what they possess, then I will touch the person and that person will end up cursing you.

And I think it just shows us the difference in how God thinks. I'm thinking about that analogy about the enemy meant for evil God meant it for good. You know, the difference between how the enemy is looking and how God is looking when Satan is looking for a way to attack Job. He is looking for something that will ultimately affect his character because if your character can be impacted, then you will no longer be the person who can be faithful over what God has given you. Can you maintain your character when life isn't going the way you planned?

Can you maintain your character when you're losing friends? Can you maintain your character when you are under attack? Man, I'm thinking the beginning of this year, we were under such attack and I wanted to hide. I wanted to quit. And I was, you talking about going back and forth with the Lord, I was like, Lord, Jesus, oh, this may be the end for your dog. Like she just got up here, maybe it's time for homegirl to sit down.

And you know, I felt like God really challenged me. Like, are you only going to be faithful when it seems like things are protected, when it feels like things are on the rise, when it feels like things are protected, when it feels like things are on the rise, when it feels like you're checking all of the boxes, you did everything right, and you still experience calamity, is your faithfulness going to end at the point of conflict, or are you willing to go down with the ship? Because I've been faithful to you because you trust me. Because you know that if I allow this to happen, then it must be because it needed to come down or it can't come down.

Like, are you going to ride with me on that level? And I got breakthrough, and my break, gotta be talking crazy to me, I got breakthrough, my breakthrough basically came, I told my husband, I'm going down with the shit. Like, who says that? Like, I'm supposed to come out with something so inspiring, so encouraging, but how was so settled in this, like, I'm going down with the ship?

Like, I meant it. Like, why, I don't want to say Titanic me, but like, I'm going down with the ship. You know what I mean? Like, God, if I am on this boat, you called me to it. I had confirmation. I didn't ask for it. You allowed me to be in this position. And now the very place that you place me in, it feels like the sand is sinking.

I am not going to question whether or not you sent me here because I just saw too many signs. I know too much to turn my back. And if I'm sitting here on sinking sinking saying then God, I am going to trust that you have something solid in the midst of the sinking or that the sinking is just an illusion. And I have to imagine that that is how Job fell. Not that it didn't hurt him. When we read all of Joe, we see that he cried out. He got upset. He was frustrated. His friends turned his back on him. But when it's all

said and done, God ends up restoring his character, stayed in tech, regardless of what was happening around him. And that's what I want for myself. I want to have so much character that temptation doesn't get me, that calamity doesn't threaten me. And I'm going to have to fight for this. It's not going to come easy. It's not going to come naturally, but I have decided who I want to be in God But I have decided who I want to be in God. I have decided who I want to be in Jesus.

And when I make that decision, I am going to fight to stay in that place. Y'all might have to take this clip and play it for me when life gets hard. And I'm okay with that. You know, you may have to come get me when I'm sinking and when life doesn't look the way that I thought that it would, but I am committed to figuring out how to stay connected with God, no matter what. I am committed to walking this thing out for a lifetime. And I want to encourage you this week as we talk about becoming powerful in God to not look to become powerful in the media, to become powerful in your community,

to become powerful in your church, at your school, to become powerful in a relationship, to become powerful that so much, to become so powerful that it begins to border air against. But to become so powerful in God that you resemble a life that looks like Jesus, where you become obedient even until the point of death, but ultimately you experience God's glory

because you were willing to become powerful, even when it looked like you were maybe weak on the outside or under attack that you stay committed. That faithfulness is the faithfulness that we experience from God. And I feel like, you know, Paul says it is our reasonable service to return that level of faithfulness. And I am telling you when I look at the Bible and I look at what those

people went through in scripture, like none of it looked easy. None of it looked easy. I don't know why we got to this place where we were just like, this thing is gonna be easy. Like there's nothing that suggests that it's not gonna be hard, that it's not gonna break you into a thousand pieces. And so you probably wanna like child then why? Because I wanna be on the right side of history.

I want to maintain the faithfulness that God has exhibited towards me. And there is nothing more powerful than God's glory being able to show up in your life to partner with God in such a way that makes God tangible for other people. It is my profound belief that it is the only thing that will actually make the world a better place. And so why do we say faithful?

Because faithful is the gateway for glory. that will actually make the world a better place. And so why do we say faithful? Because faithful is the, faithful is the gateway for glory. Faithful is the gateway for encountering God's presence. And since you're going to be in someone's presence, like we're going to be in the presence of anxiety, we're going to be in the presence of depression, we're going to be in the presence of evil. Anytime we turn on the headlines that Lord knows is evil all over the world, like we are going to be in the presence of something. Why not be in the presence of God? And because God has asked to dwell with you, among you, inside of you, why not maintain your ability to tap into the presence of God, regardless of what other presence are around,

and allow that to edify you and to become what you are committed to. So character development begins in our relationship with God. It begins in us really understanding who we want to be in God and living that out loud. And when we begin to make those choices and decisions to live out who we want to be in God, it changes our life. It shifts us. to make those choices and decisions to live out who we want to be in God. It changes our life, it shifts us. We align with other people who are on a similar journey.

I preached a message, a mirror and a model. It's on YouTube. If you haven't seen it, go check it out. It really begins to break down even further this notion of our spirit being a reflection of God's image. And when our spirit is a reflection of God's image, it should show up in the way that we speak to people. It should show up in the way that we create.

It should show up in our humility. It should show up in the way that we are confident because we are made in the image of God. It doesn't mean I always have to get things right. It means that I can apologize. And when I get them right, I can celebrate. Like it's just beautiful to have a spirit that you can tell is aligned with something that is so much bigger than you.

It is humbling and it is just transformative. So we're going to be talking as you can imagine about becoming powerful, what it means, what it doesn't mean, shedding definitions of pseudo power so that we can lay hold of God's divinity in our life. And I am excited to be your companion on this journey. If you have not, please preorder my book, Power Moves, Ignite Your Confidence, and become a force, I ask myself over and over again,

like how do I break this down? How do I break this down into bite-sized pieces that are within reach and tangible for the reader? And I believe that God's given me such rich wisdom and insight on how to get it done. I am gonna see if I can get PT on the podcast next week so we can talk about becoming powerful in a relationship, becoming powerful as a unit

without losing your individuality. I just feel like there's so much that we can unpack and I would love to unpack it with you. So I will talk to you next week. I love you so bad, which is my daughter's got me saying that. Y'all pray for me. I am raising an alpha, she's an alpha. Ugh. Y'all pray for me. I am raising an alpha. She's an alpha. Ugh.

Y'all pray for me. I hope you have an amazing week. Let's pray before we go. Man, character, okay, before I pray, I just wanna say this. A lot of us have taken on the character of our culture, our environment. And as opposed to character being something

that relates to our morality and our ethics, character has become how we play a role in environments and situations that no longer serve us. I want to challenge you to no longer be a character but to have character. If there is an area in your life where you are stuck in a role that

makes everyone else happy, everyone else comfortable, but you have no character within. You have no boundaries, you have no sense of what's right or what's wrong, you have no sense of integrity to what God has called you to do, but you have the comfort of other people's acceptance, I wanna challenge you to at least define what it would look like to have character. Once you have created that definition, let's pray about how we take what we have and allow it to flow into who we are.

Holy Spirit, thank you. Thank you for giving us a guide for recognizing that we needed more than just clever ideas that we needed someone who could walk this thing out for us. So like my mother said when I was a little girl, thank you God for Jesus. As we prepare to go about our day, God, I pray that you would highlight for my friend the areas where they need to experience growth and development, that you would do it in such a way that it doesn't make them feel shame, but rather hungry, hungry for your power, hungry for your spirit,

hungry for your love to lead them, guide them and direct them. And as they begin to lean into the direction of that growth God, I ask that you would show them signs along the way that says, you got this, keep going, keep pushing, God's covering you, He's with you. He'll never leave you nor forsake you. I thank you God for the opportunity to share what you have done in my life,

to share what I am learning in my life, to share what I am learning and unpacking about who you are. God I pray that I've said something today that has added value to your kingdom. The same way that you're highlighting areas of growth for them, do it for me too. I say that with much trepidation because I am stressed and feeling like I have something to do makes me feel even more anxiety. So I pray that when it is highlighted that I would not shun it or feel shame,

but embrace it from a place of love because that's the place in which you are highlighting it. Bless their weak God and all that they do in Jesus' name, amen. You don't put those inside of you, do you? This is a show about women. I mean, you do you this is a show about women I mean you do finally a show about women that isn't just a thinly veiled aspirational nightmare it's not hosted not narrated we're just dropping into a woman's world I found out

when my dad was gay when I was 10 we were in a convertible on the 405 freeway listening to the b-52s looking back looking back, I should have said, this is gay. This is already all gay. Listen to finally a show on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone in our country has a voice. It's something that says not just where you come from, but who you are.

Welcome to NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, a collection of podcasts and a celebration of the hosts in journalism who've always spoken truth to power. Our voices are as varied, nuanced and dynamic as the Black Experience, and stories should never be about us without us. Find NPR Black Stories, Black Truths on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm John Ho Bryant, host of Money and Wealth on the Black Effect Podcast Network. I'm an entrepreneur and a businessman.

Now, every Thursday, my newest venture is educating you on how to win financially. Even better, I'm going to teach it in a way that, well, you can understand. I'm gonna meet you where you are and take you where you need to be. We all might have different starting points and end goals, but as long as we have the desire

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Frontiers of marketing. Our guests this season show us big risk can yield big rewards, like Rob Riley, the creative head of one of the world's leading advertising firms. I try to create environments where anybody can say anything without any judgment. Listen to a brand new season of Math and Magic

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