Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Digging Deeper to Find Your Why w/ Olori Swank

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Tap in as W.E. throw it back to some candid conversations between SJR and her friends! First, we’re choppin’ it up with fashion stylist, author, and entrepreneur Olori Swank! She tells how her ca...reer path took an unexpected turn for the BETTER. That’s right! At times we’re called in a different direction than W.E. prepared for, so knowing your “why” is key. Sis, what makes you bloom and feel alive? Hold that thought but commit to it. Delegation, get comfy to watch The Pajama Interviews at WomanEvolve.tv. Plus, start your FREE 7-day trial today! This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp online therapy and the Abide app biblical meditations.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 God can't bless you for ten to be or who you can care yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a two-year-old boundary. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God-party for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.
Starting point is 00:00:28 Try. Hi. Hi. Thank you for doing this with me. Thank you for having me. I feel like I know you because I'm Instagram and social media. It's nice to be here. It's nice to finally meet you too.
Starting point is 00:00:42 You too. You are like a phenomenon. Thank you. Did you know that about yourself? I like to think that. Yes, but to hear it come from someone as amazing as you as always a compliment. Like when did you realize that you that you had were working with something that was bigger than maybe you realized or maybe you always realized. Well, it's weird. Okay. Sometimes I feel like I'm this larger than life person, but then other times I feel like
Starting point is 00:01:15 I'm a very, very normal. I'm just like everybody else person. So I think it takes other people kind of telling me like, oh, you're this and you're that for me to really sit in it. Because a lot of times I don't want to think about that. I feel like when you start feeling like you've arrived, you don't keep driving. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:33 And I constantly want to keep going and getting better. And so I don't like to live in the moment of, oh, my God, you're this, or you accomplish this. I'm always thinking about how I can be better, how I can project to everyone else for them to be better And not so much think about myself all the time. Yeah, that makes sense So like at what point did you realize like things are shifting for me like if people aren't familiar with your story Like I know you now, but I don't know what it cost you to be who you are now
Starting point is 00:02:01 So like tell me like what is your story? Okay? um I started off, well I want to start my story at the University of Georgia. Okay. So I'm at the University of Georgia. I'm going to school all year round because I probably from the age of two had always said that I was going to be a neurosurgeon, but I'm going to be a brain surgeon. I'm going to be a doctor. I didn't have any other careers that I wanted to chase, I just always knew. And so when I was at UGA, that's what I was studying for. And I wanted to get multiple degrees at the same time.
Starting point is 00:02:34 So in order for me to do that, I had to go to school all year round. So I never took a summer off. I graduated and when I graduated, I said, you know what, I have all these degrees. I've been in school this entire time. Before I go to med school, I'm taking a year off. I'm not gonna do nothing.
Starting point is 00:02:50 I'm not gonna study. I'm not gonna do any coursework. Like I'm literally just going to take a year and just hang out. And so I moved from Athens to Atlanta, which I'm originally from, and got an apartment and was literally just hanging out. I realized now that what I was doing was networking,
Starting point is 00:03:09 which a lot of people don't realize that you don't have to be at a networking event to be networking. You're always networking. So I'm networking, I'm meeting people, one day I meet the VP of A&R for Give Records and he says, I want you to style my artists. And the first thing I said to him was,
Starting point is 00:03:26 I don't do hair. I didn't even know what a style this was. Like, I didn't know that was a job. I didn't know people got paid for that. And so he says, dress her how you dress and we'll be fine. So I'm like, okay. I left the conversation thinking I was doing someone a favor.
Starting point is 00:03:43 I still didn't think it was a job. I still didn't think I was being offered some opportunity. Until like an hour later, the accounting department at Sony BMG, which owns Give Records, they called my phone and they're like, we need your EIN number. We need nowhere where we're wearing this budget too. Can you send us an invoice?
Starting point is 00:04:01 All these things I've never heard of. Like I'm fresh out of college. I'm like, I don't know what these numbers mean, these acronyms, but I told the lady I said, I mean, there's really something I'll give you a call back in an hour, and in that hour, me and Google were BFF. I was looking up every single possible thing I can find on how to be a stylist. I didn't even know what to charge at the time. Like little things like that, I had no idea. I just kind of had to figure it out. So long story short, I ended up creating an entire business
Starting point is 00:04:31 in seven days. Like I had everything from, I had filed my articles of incorporation to get my LLC together. I had a business bank account and a PO box. Like I was a positional. I was a positional. I was a positional. and a PO box like I was Yeah me and Google we figure it out and I've been styling ever since then I don't want to make it seem like it's been this easy trajectory for me like stuff just kind of took off
Starting point is 00:04:57 I had to figure it out and my first client was a major artist on a major label and after that It's like okay, what do you do next? Like, how do you run a business? How do you get more clients? So I almost had to take a step back and actually learn the business. I had to test with certain people, which test basically means work for free.
Starting point is 00:05:18 To get my portfolio together and all this other stuff. And as my business started growing, and as I started working harder more consistently, I started to build this kind of brand and people started following me. And like, I would be somewhere and someone would say, oh my God, I know you're following on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:05:37 And I'm like, it was all weird to me. Like, how do you know who I am? Oh, I just love you. And so it took a while for me to really realize that my brand was growing. I think this is also before Instagram was even a thing. So everybody was really just on Twitter at this point. But as I started to realize the impact I was having
Starting point is 00:05:58 on other people and how I was inspiring other people, I started taking my branding more seriously. I started being more open on social media, showing people behind the scenes. Like it's not just glitz and glam, but you actually have to work at this. And now we're here. How did you overcome feeling like you did not have what it took?
Starting point is 00:06:22 Because so many people tell me like, you know, I wanna start a business, I wanna do this, I wanna do that, but I don't have what it took. Because so many people tell me like, you know, I wanna start a business, I wanna do this, I wanna do that, but I don't know where to start. I don't have any mentors, there are any people in my life who are gonna be able to help me. And so I'm stagnant, but I really wanna be moving. But you kind of like self-motivated yourself into action.
Starting point is 00:06:42 For me, I think I've always been someone that just goes for it. Like I'll do it scared, I'll do it broke, I'll do it. Like I just, I'm a solutions based person, I'm going to figure it out. Worst case scenario, I'm a try, fail, cry, pray, and then try again. So I've just always been that person. And so when this opportunity came to me, I just kinda went for it. And then on top of that,
Starting point is 00:07:07 I also didn't even see it as what it was to begin with. I really thought I was doing someone a favor. And by the time I was in it, because I don't like to quit, I'm like, I'm just gonna figure it out what's the worst that can happen. I either learn something or I learn something. And so I just went for it.
Starting point is 00:07:25 See, I'm totally that way. Even if that means I'm in over my head and some things, I mean, that's all right. I'm learning how to swim. Well, it's fine. I'm fine. Why are you coming out in my legs and everything I'll be fine? But I just wonder, is there anything in your life
Starting point is 00:07:39 that you don't just go for the way that you do everything else? Because I have found that sometimes we have that momentum in certain areas of our life. Right, and then not in others. Yes. Oh, it's getting deep. Yeah. No.
Starting point is 00:07:58 You know what? Maybe interesting people. Mm. I think sometimes because I'm very, I'm super genuine. I don't like to lie. Like my dad taught me at a really, really young age. He's like, you know what,
Starting point is 00:08:13 if whatever you are, be that and tell people you're that. Like, don't lie, just be who you are. And I think growing up, I've come across so many people who weren't as genuine as me. And I was naive for a long time, like if people say, oh, I'm this way, or I do this, I'm like, oh, you know, people don't lie. And as I got older, I think maybe now I'm not as trusting of people.
Starting point is 00:08:38 So I kind of, it's like, I'm like this anti-social socialite. I got love everybody. I'm spreading this anti-social socialite. I love everybody. I'm spreading off good energy to everyone, but to really, really let people deep into my space, I'm like, I created this amazing bubble for myself, and I don't want nobody to come in and start messing stuff up and breaking things and moving things around. I did this whole podcast about how we build walls
Starting point is 00:09:04 when I think we should build gates, which means that we still have this distance between ourselves and other people, but there's also like a keypad, like an access code. And when you speak the same language that I speak, or we share the same vision about, you know, life, love, God, then I'm able to let you closer into that. So I'm able to qualify and not just block everyone now because I don't want to make this deep, but I just see where the conversation flows. But I think that so many women have been able
Starting point is 00:09:37 to become successful, but they're also very closed down within. And so my goal is to represent like this leather lace kind of community where I'm leather. Like I can get the things that me and Google can figure out how to start a business, but I'm also lace and I have this vulnerability
Starting point is 00:09:56 and this sensitivity. And I don't think that our world celebrates vulnerability and sensitivity a lot. But it's the only way that I feel that we can experience inner growth. I love that leather and lace. Leather and lace. Yeah, that's dope. Yeah. So where's your lace? Right. I think that's something that I'm definitely gonna work on. I think this conversation alone has inspired me to want to find the balance and destroy the wall and build a cake.
Starting point is 00:10:30 I like that, yeah. I had to work on that, like even within my own marriage. And I think for me, it really rooted from this idea of like not wanting to be criticized ever. Cause I was always just kind of like throwing spaghetti on the wall to see if it was sticked.
Starting point is 00:10:45 You know, so everything I did was just like me trying something. And as I got married and allowed my husband like into my heart and into my space, he would ask me questions like, well, why do you do that? And I would immediately become defensive because I've been on the defense my entire life. And I think that in order to let him in, I had to be willing to not see his questioning as criticism and to also see that I am better when I have other perspectives. And I think that's the other reason why we have to let people in is like sometimes we, not sometimes when the right people are in our life, we have a better world view in perspective, but it's just so challenging when you've been hurt
Starting point is 00:11:27 or disappointed by people in the past. That wasn't a question, it was just me talking. Yeah, I'm like, that's good. And I agree. I agree with that. I definitely think we need other people's perspectives. We can't see all angles. So we kinda need people to have our best.
Starting point is 00:11:45 And it's hard when you've won though, because you like, I saw a definite make-up. Yeah, I'm not sure. But I still made it to the other side. But we could always be better. So yeah. What do you think is like the greatest lesson you have learned from the beginning stages
Starting point is 00:12:02 of your career to now? The one great is probably most consistent lesson that you've learned. Self-discipline is everything and consistency is vital. A lot of times when people don't make it to where they want to be, it's not because they're not as smart as the person next to them or as rich as the person next to them,
Starting point is 00:12:24 it's because they're lacking an element of self-discipline in my opinion. I know that there's been times in my life where I'm like, I should be doing so much more, I should be doing better, and when I dig down into the root of my issue, it's that I wasn't disciplined in what I was doing or I wasn't being consistent. And I find that a lot of times, if you don't really check that and acknowledge that, it'll cause you to want to be jealous or envious or bitter when it comes to other people. And I think I tweeted something the other day
Starting point is 00:12:59 where I was just like, you can't have what you won't build. And in order for you to really, really build something solid and to have what you want, you have to have this self-discipline to work on the days that you don't want to work. Be ethical in times where you could easily be doing something else. Like I think a lot revolves around just being disciplined. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. What I know for sure is working with the right therapist can help you find your most authentic self. I've been in therapy for some time now and after doing the inner work, I'm feeling like the highest version of myself these days. Therapy is an effective way to set boundaries,
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Starting point is 00:14:21 Visit betterhelp.com slash evolve today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash evolve. So how do you balance self-discipline in the need to overcome? How do you feel in order to get something done versus I really do need to take a minute and think it down. For me, finding things that I'm passionate about helps figuring out my why really, really helps a lot and why is never money. No one should ever be motivated by money. You get to a point where money doesn't even motivate you if initially it did and so I think
Starting point is 00:15:07 That being motivated by money is is a terrible why but if you find it deeper why like I want to leave a legacy for my family Or I want to inspire community I want to show a little black girls that they can do it to things like that will keep you going on the days that you don't want to go Mm-hmm like my Instagram my Twitter the days that you don't want to go. Like my Instagram, my Twitter, the days I don't want to do anything. I'm like, there is some girl who literally is getting ready to give up on herself, who hasn't yet because she's watching me. I owe it to her to get my butt up right now and do what I need to do to help her. Like when you start to see things as being bigger than you, it helps you to do what you need to do on the days you don't want to do to help her. Like when you start to see things as being bigger than you,
Starting point is 00:15:45 it helps you to do what you need to do on the days you don't wanna do it. Yeah. Have you had any difficulties like connecting with mentors or other women just even like on a lateral phase as you're building your business? For me, when it comes to mentors, I have this belief that I don't even have to know somebody
Starting point is 00:16:08 in order for them to mentor me when I- And I underrate it, believe. Yeah, like I don't need your permission for you to be my mentor. Yeah. If I see something in you that I love, I will immerse myself in everything you have to offer. I will buy your books. I will listen to your podcasts. I will watch your YouTube offer. I will buy your books. I will listen to your podcasts I will watch your YouTube channel. I will attend your seminars like to me that is mentorship and so when people are like
Starting point is 00:16:32 I can't find a mentor. I'm like, sis And there's so many people now who are offering so much insight and so much information You don't need their permission to be mentored by them. And I don't feel like that really answered your question directly, but indirectly, I haven't really been seeking out too many people to say, oh, well, this person rejected my advances. Like, if I want you to mentor me, you're going to mentor me whether you know it or not. So that is really, I think that's gonna help so many women
Starting point is 00:17:08 because I think a lot of times people want a mentor, but I think what they're really asking for is counseling because you want my personal opinion about your situation. But like we've got books, I've got videos, I've got all of these different resources that can help you with the question that you had, but I think it's like that person on touch that people want. But I have been mentored, like you just made me realize, I have been mentored by so many
Starting point is 00:17:32 people who don't know that they have mentored me. Who's your greatest mentor? Ooh, right now, like today, I would say it's this guy named Grant Cardone. I don't know how I discovered this man, how I found him. Maybe I was reading something in the middle of the night, but he had this book title that just kind of struck me. Um, it's be obsessed or be average. And I was like, wow, that's an interesting book title.
Starting point is 00:17:59 So I got it on audiobooks. And within maybe the first five or six minutes of listening to this man talk I literally was obsessed. I'm like he's going after it, he's relentless and so I listened to that book after I was done with that one. I got another book from him. I started following him on Twitter, watching his YouTube. He's like 60. He had a man doesn't sleep. He bought a jet. Like He's like 60. The man doesn't sleep. He want a jet. Like, it's just, it's insane.
Starting point is 00:18:27 And I love his work ethic and his tenacity. I love that he doesn't take no for an answer. Like, it's just a lot about him that I love. So right now I would say he's my greatest mentor. So be obsessed or be average. When do you get rest? I rest all the time though. Like because so here's my thing.
Starting point is 00:18:51 I set up so many systems in my business that a lot of it is able to run on autopilot. So from the beginning, I was always like, I need systems in place so that my business is not just me. If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, God forbid, I need this thing to still run. And so I build in different ways to kind of remove myself from the business even when I'm not ready to be removed from it. So when I want to take a break, I can easily just turn on the autopilot and just chill.
Starting point is 00:19:25 And we need to talk about that. You just spoke a word. I got symptoms for everything. Like I'm constantly thinking about systems. Like I'm a nerd. So like strategy. I mean, all of my classes in college were science based. I was always experimenting.
Starting point is 00:19:42 I was always in a lab. And so I'm constantly like that in my business. I'm like, okay, I wonder if I switched this and I start doing it this way. What would that do? And so I'm preparing myself before the day comes that I'm like, okay, I can't be here today. That's that is rich. You just reached a word. A real word. I rest all the time. People think I don't sleep. I'm like, yo, I took a six month vacation one time and nobody even had an idea.
Starting point is 00:20:10 Like I did not work for six months. I was just chilling. Listen. Okay. All right. So you said something though about like all of your classes being science and how that's kind of helped you with your business.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Yeah. Now some people would say like you went to school and you're not even in the medical field but you know was that a waste of time but I have found that God uses everything and so God used that even as you're building a career that seems completely unrelated however it's tied together. Like what would you say to a woman who feels like I feel called in a different direction than what I have prepared for and I feel like I've wasted time or money or resources so I have to stick to this instead of pursuing my passion. I think that the world tricks us into thinking we're only allowed to have one passion or one purpose.
Starting point is 00:21:01 I think at different phases of your life you're allowed to do different things and if you acknowledge that in this moment my passion and my purpose and my focus was medicine but right now it's not I think you can easily transition to something else. We all owe it to ourselves to try more than one thing. I don't think I wasted any time in school. I think that everything that I learned is super valuable, whether I'm using it right now or not, I don't believe in wasted knowledge.
Starting point is 00:21:33 I think you should learn as much as you can about as many things as you can. So I don't look at it like I wasted time. I just look at it like I've acquired more knowledge from my knowledge bank. And if you look at things that way, it helps you transition into different things because you're just constantly learning. Yeah. All right, so real fast, who in the delegation is down for guided meditation?
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Starting point is 00:22:59 Right now I have a special offer when you subscribe. 25% off your first year when you sign up for the premium subscription, but only if you take my promo code evolve to 22433. Don't wait, download a Bied, Sleep, and Premeditation today and text my promo code evolve to 22433 today to get 25% off. 3-3 today to get 25% off. You're like everything you say you present was like such confidence and authority.
Starting point is 00:23:32 That's a gift. Thanks. Have you always been that way? Um... Maybe when I was younger, yes. Middle school, high school, you know, you go through the whole bully phase. Like, I was bullied, really. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:50 I want to say, um, well, of course, the whole dark skin thing. I think every dark skin girl goes through that, um, being dark skin, my parents are African. So you get the African jokes. Um, I didn't have the coolest clothes, because my parents were very all about like, you're going to school to learn, it's not a fashion show,
Starting point is 00:24:11 like you go being your books, you come home, which you know, causes kids to bully you and stuff like that. So middle school and high school was a very weird face for me. I was like the super lame kid. And then I got to college and I feel like on the first day, everybody was like, oh my God, you're so cool. And I'm like, I don't want to get in me. Oh, thanks.
Starting point is 00:24:32 And I just kind of owned it. So it was like a little wave, I would say. Well, I admire your comment. I feel like I'm just coming into my confidence and authority. Really? Yes. I would never have guessed that. For sure.
Starting point is 00:24:48 I would never have guessed that. Ever. Yeah. Huh. I'm like learning to be more comfortable in my own skin and in my path and in my journey. I would say like within the last year I've really become like super, super comfortable.
Starting point is 00:25:03 And wherever my you know story or journey takes me but it took me like a lot of work to get there. So when I see other women like it's inspiring for me to see you like own your own your voice like that. Thanks. I have a question for you it's kind of random but because you mentioned those your parents were African. I'm just going to ask you like so we had this whole Wakanda black panther phase Where all of us wanted to go back to the motherland But I was like we wanted that cool What like what has that been like because you're right like I feel like this pride
Starting point is 00:25:42 Came at a time when it was necessary in the African-American culture, where a sense of identity was really something that we were looking for, but you've grown up in the culture. I mean, your parents being African, like, what was that like for you? Being African, they have certain values that I think are lost in the African American community. For sure. I think the sense of strong, super, super strong sense of family in the African community is a little different from the African American community. I remember growing up, me, I'm the oldest of three siblings. So I have a younger brother and a younger sister
Starting point is 00:26:26 And me and my younger brother would go at it. I'm talking about we was breaking stuff in the house fighting just Going crazy, but my dad and my mom they always said when you step outside of this house We don't care what happened in this house. You guys are a family. Yeah. No one should ever know that five seconds ago you was trying to stab him with a fork. Like, and we would literally walk outside of the house and you can't say nothing to me about my brother. Like, we're very protective of each other.
Starting point is 00:26:59 And I feel like growing up watching other families, I'm like, are they really just gonna go against each other like that in front of all of us? Like we're outside, like what are you doing? I think that would be the biggest one for me, the Wakanda thing. It was kind of fun for me, honestly, because I feel like when people would think
Starting point is 00:27:23 about Africa in the past, it was always like thoughts of poverty and all these things that were like kind of incorrect. I feel like Wakanda gave people African Americans, it gave them a sense of pride for Africa, basically. When in the past being from Africa was like, oh, like, oh my God, like, do you guys have houses?
Starting point is 00:27:48 Do you live in huts? And it's like, there's some pretty big houses in Africa. Like it's amazing. And seeing the whole Wakanda movement and how proud everybody was, I personally thought it was dope. Like, I liked it. I'm like, great. Like now all us black people can come together and be happy and have pride and feel like we
Starting point is 00:28:08 have culture because I think culture is important. Culture is so important. And I think that for me as an African-American, we've always felt like I was just like on the outside looking into the African experience, was like no inside about like my ancestry and history and like where I was from so I think that's cool They say to African parents like really care a lot about education Did your parents care when you went from Want to be a neurosurgeon time want to be
Starting point is 00:28:38 Okay, so African parents really only believe in like a handful of jobs. You're either a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, an architect, and sometimes a teacher. Anything outside of that is not a real job. It's just like that, that's not a job. So when I first decided I was pursuing fashion styling, I actually didn't think I would be doing it for as long as I was doing it. I thought, you know, I'm taking my year off,
Starting point is 00:29:04 which my parents are cool with, because I graduated with honors, like went to school on a full academic scholarship. Y'all don't owe nobody no money on my behalf. Like, let me have my year, and they were cool with it. And as the year ended, my dad was like, so you wanna school next semester? And I just kept saying next semester.
Starting point is 00:29:25 And I said next semester to the point where I was like, I'm not going back. And having the conversation with him, I remember just being in his living room or something and him being like, so like you've been saying next semester and I'm like, look, I'm not going. That's that.
Starting point is 00:29:43 And I know you want me to go because you want me to have a stable I know you want me to go because you want me to have a stable job and you want me to have an income and be able to support myself. Here's my bag statements. I make more money than a doctor. You can leave me alone. Like literally, and he was just like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:29:58 But I was not expecting to get to go that way at all. But I think mentally I have prepared myself. I knew what he was going gonna be coming at me with. And before he could even toss all of that onto me, I was just like, here's the facts. You can leave me alone now. And now they're like my biggest fans. I have them blocked on Instagram and all of that stuff.
Starting point is 00:30:17 They still find ways to do that. Why are they blocked on Instagram? Because all of them are daddy and my comments, like, oh, no, I'm good. Don't come over here talking about some, yes, go. Stay at home, stay off my pace. So you had to build your confidence in what you were doing before you could go against the grain
Starting point is 00:30:33 of what everyone else wanted you to do? Yeah, I did. And I had to prove to myself that I could do it. And on top of, I can do it, I had to prove to myself that I would be committed to it. Because before that I mean I was trying a bunch of things. I'm like okay you know maybe I can be an event planner and I'm like hmm now I don't think I really like this. Like and it's hard for you to justify that especially to a parent if you're not committed and if
Starting point is 00:31:02 you haven't decided to be committed to that thing. And you just knew because how did you know that that was the thing you were gonna stick with? Because I wanted to do it for free. I didn't want to go to sleep because I felt like I was missing out on being able to do it. Like it made me feel more alive. Whereas other things felt draining and tiring. And like today people are like winter next vacation. I'm like, I don't want to take a vacation. Like, why do I have, I feel like I'm being forced into taking vacations.
Starting point is 00:31:34 I'm like, I don't want to take a vacation because I might miss something over here and this is what makes me feel happy right now. And when I realized that there was something that existed that could make me feel this way, I'm like, oh, this is my thing. I don't leave tired. I can be on set for 23 hours straight and still be pumped and ready to go the next day. Like I'm so happy to be here. Like this is a blessing. This is an honor. Whereas other things I can be at for 30 minutes and I'm just over it. I'm ready to go mentally. I'm drained. I'm tired And so I think the way I figured it out if something makes me feel alive and happy. That's my thing Yeah, that's your purpose. Well, your purpose for this season. Yeah, so tell me like what are all your current purposes?
Starting point is 00:32:21 Because that I know you're not just a stylist what all do you do? Okay, so Lord, all right. Fashion styling, written some books. I'm so excited about my latest book though. My children's book because all these parents keep sending me videos and pictures of their daughters reading this book. I wish I had one with me, but.
Starting point is 00:32:42 I meant to bring mine because the girl's doing it. Do I? I have one, but it's fine. So the book for me is great because I wanted to inspire young girls to follow their dreams because I think as adults we kind of kill kids dreams without realizing that we're doing it we kind of put fear on them like don't go there don't touch that. And so doing it, we kind of put fear on them. Like don't go there, don't touch that. And so they grow up just kind of triveling a little bit, but I wanted them to have this book in their language
Starting point is 00:33:12 that they can understand. Like you can be who you wanna be, you can do what you wanna do. I teach workshops for people who want to create and develop their e-commerce businesses, make passive income. Lord, I do the most. The most.
Starting point is 00:33:32 I do the most, but those are my big ones right now. What did self-care look like for you in this journey? I think self-care is what I wanted to be that day. So if I want to go to the spa today and call that myself care, then that self-care is what I wanted to be that day. So if I want to go to the spa today and call that myself care, then that self-care. If I want to read a book and sip some tea, that self-care, if I want to have a conversation with my mom or go to brunch with my friends, like that self-care.
Starting point is 00:34:00 I think self-care is just being aware of yourself and what you need at that point in time. I'm working on my self-care is just being aware of yourself and what you need at that point done. I'm working on my self-care game. It struggles a bit. I think is it because you pour into other people so much that you forget about you? I mean, probably, because I just want to see like everyone be well and when everyone is well, then I feel like, yeah, but then sometimes not everyone be well and when everyone is well then I feel like yeah but then sometimes not everyone gets well at the same time.
Starting point is 00:34:29 That's a whole way to come. And then it just becomes a thing. So I'm like working on that and I feel like because I have so many responsibilities that I just want to like see everything eat tight. Yeah. I had a phase like that at one point, but I realized I can't pour from an empty cup and if I try to pour from an empty cup, I'm doing a disservice to the people I'm pouring into. So that's how I fix the aim out. So that's how you make your life better. Okay, so one last question, then I will leave you alone. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:08 If you could go back and tell yourself in, gosh, that high school, middle school, awkward stage, something that you know now, what would it be? And put a B question in there. What would you hope that you're self 10 years from now remembers? Let's go back and go back.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Okay. If I had to go back and tell myself something, I would probably say, live in the moment and don't stress out so much about the future. And then 10 years from now, I hope I remember the deeper purpose of everything that I'm doing. What is the deeper purpose of everything you're doing? To make the world better, to really help other people who can't help themselves.
Starting point is 00:36:00 I don't think that anyone's life is complete until they see it connected to every other life that's on this planet. And I think you just treat people differently and you handle yourself differently as a result of that. Yes, I agree. Thank you. Thank you. This was awesome. Thank you. you you

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