Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Exhaling Gratitude w/ Joan Leslie

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

You are in for a finger-snapping good time with spoken word poet Joan ‘Lyric’ Leslie! Sis rolled up on the podcast, adjusting her crown like the QUEEN that she is! Eve looked at her wrist & had time tuhday, so W.E. came in clutch with a rescue. Find out how our guest co-host is exhaling gratitude & why the God she serves is petty. Wanna co-host or need advice? Then shoot your shot at [e-mail]! No cap, but our girl Joan is a gift! She shared with SJR the cost of fulfilling a purpose-driven life with the 'Joy' of the Lord as her strength & liiisssteeen...tear ducts on weak! 'Tis the season for a healthier you with tasty, easy-to-prep meals, so swing by Noom.com/Evolve for mindfulness eating + HelloFresh.com/WomanEvolve14 for up to 14 FREE meals & 3 FREE gifts. Tell them W.E. sent you!

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a tea you need boundaries. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God party for me that's there are things, all things, all things.

Child. The theme for this week is exhaling gratitude and I have to tell you, I am so, so grateful for the conversation you're about to experience. You know, it is that time of the year and once we start thinking about those we've lost, maybe people who we thought would be around for this season, but they aren't here.

Jones testimony, her story, is gonna help you make it through this season. You're gonna wanna share it with everyone, you know. It speaks so much to how those who are no longer with us are yet still alive through us. I am high-key obsessed with her and so grateful for the time that we've been able to spend together. I don't want to withhold this joy from you any longer. So here's my co-host Joan Learick Leslie.

Well, good afternoon. How are you? Ma'am. Ma'am. I'm a maven power for you. You better give us puff. Is this a twist out of braid? Is this a wash and go? How do we get this puff up here looking the way it's looking?

This is a finger coil situation. This is a finger coil. Ma'am, you're wrong. I finger coil this puff for you, ma' maim and it's giving the definition for me. How many days old is this finger coil? We're on day three. It's giving the definition is there. It's like it's like you've been sleeping like this like you told the steam don't try it. How are you? I appreciate you. I am great. How are you today?

Excellent. Excellent. Thank you for doing this with me. Thank you for having me. My pleasure. Where are you from? I'm originally from Harlem, New York, but I am living in Atlanta, Georgia now. So you may hear that New York come in at some point.

Let's talk about it. Do you have like a New Yorker attitude? Like are you like that New York come in at some point. Let's talk about it. Do you have a New Yorker attitude? Like are you like a New Yorker? When I'm in my Eve day, yeah. I just like how my Eve is home. When is the last time Eve the New Yorker got together? That's how we're starting. Yeah, we're going to go right for it.

The last time, what I hours is that a festival, which is why my voice is not what it usually is. Kirk Franklin had us thinking a lot. I was just looking at a video from that yesterday. Can I tell you, I want to be Kirk Franklin concert like a stand, like I stood the entire time. Like I love a Kirk Franklin concert. Okay, but tell me, tell me about Eve. Eve showed up at the Kirk Franklin concert. Not stop.

Tell me. It did. If I was leaving, I was not stop. Yeah. I was leaving. I was leaving Kirk sections and goes to another part of the festival and a young lady who I bumped into accidentally. She looked back at me before I could, you know, like I could say, excuse me, I'm sorry, didn't mean to. And she looked like she was ready

to share some unkind words with me. And yeah, that face you just made? Yeah, yeah, yeah, my head did something very similar. And I didn't have my braids back to Sarah. When I have my braids, I'm a different girl. Braids were ready. So the pump, I had to keep it cute and saved. So it was just, you know, but I caught myself, but it, I definitely looked over like,

oh, you know, and I got to catch it. I got you. Yeah, it's not pretty. It's not how I'm going. But you grabbed it right there. I liked the way you grabbed it. Let's talk about the way hair changes our attitude. Let me tell you something.

The other day, I was in my braids because that's what's underneath this week. And it was probably about 3 PM. It was prime e-behavior. It was 3 PM. I told Ella, I was like, you need to go upstairs, put some clothes on. She was like, you still got on your bonnet,

I'm confused. And I'm like, Did she do it like this with her hands? No, but she does give confusion face. But you used to have on your bonnet. And I'm like, is she doing like this with her hands? No, but she does give confusion face. But you used to have on your bonnet. But you're not my mother. I'm your mother. And you need to do what I told you to do.

And I was like, you do need to go put on a wig though, because it's giving raggedy parenting. You have one a house coat and a bonnet. And it's a smooth 3 p.m. What's wrong with you? Who hurt you? Is what I needed to ask myself. You're the adult, you're the adult here and I support the education.

And I didn't mean to make you my counselor, but speaking of being the adult, last night, here we are, last night Ella was avoiding bedtime and you know, I'm like Ella go to bed. That's at this point, I've lost all of my feelings box. You know, I try to use a type of parenting that I didn't experience where like your feelings matter, you can communicate back to me.

That's where I try to function. But around 9 p.m., now I've turned into everything that raised me and I'm like, if you don't go get in the bed, like I told you to get in the bed. And so she comes and knocks on my door again. This time she wants to talk to her father. She's like, that can you pray with me?

Like, what are you gonna say to that? And I'm sitting there looking like, you can pray by yourself. See, if you really had oil, you would pray by yourself. But I'm gonna, I wanna let her pray with her father. I go downstairs, I came back up, he's like, just so you know, Ella asks me to pray for you. She's loving.

Love it. Love the Ella asks you to pray for you. I would finish it. Evidently, my husband had finished his prayer. And then at the end, he was like, she goes, can I just add one thing? God, can you please have my mom to start saying please? Because when I tell her to do stuff, she's like, you didn't say please. And I just...

Please sit from... I don't... I just... From her mouth to that ears, you know, just be with me the her prayers. These are her prayers. And keep your relationship with God personal as and don't include me in it. How about that?

I love it. No, I love this. Thank you for doing this podcast with me. We're gonna have an incredible time. We just gonna sit up. We're gonna have Girl Talk. And we're gonna talk about your leave behavior. When you have

Your braze you turn into Eve is that what I hear? It's just easier Wait, tell me you have to break this down. What do you mean it's easier to be Eve with braze? It's just easier to you know have that attitude that This response this you know the response you know, have that attitude that, because this response, this, you know, the response, this, when you're throwing things back and things are moving, when there's a weight on you and it moves. Right. Right.

I just feel like it adds emphasis. I need for my point. This, the puff is, it's more innocent. It's more professional. It's no one is expecting that you behavior when it's, it's unassuming. But when the braids come out, they think they can get all versions of this no one is expecting that you behavior when it's unassuming. But when the braids come out, they think they can get all versions of this here of Black Girl and they can.

And they can and they will and I'm glad to deliver. Okay, so I have a question for you, Joan. When is the last time you gave someone a pass? You know what I mean? Like where you was like, you know what? Like I know you gave me a pass. You know what I mean? Like, were you was like, you know what? Like, I know you gave me the festival, but I mean like an intentional, I have the braids, I could give it to you if I wanted to,

but I have decided I'm not going to. Mm-hmm. So, someone's son was in my direct message, as the kids say, that the DMs, they said it's my son. And he wanted to debate on a topic that I had no interest in debating on. So gracefully, I looked at the comment and said, I don't have any experience in this area. I can't speak on this topic, but you'd be well.

And I hope someone who can answer this question for you does. But it was something real. It was all the walls that's there. He was asking questions that you know how. You heard, I heard the testimonies that people share on this year's platform. Yeah. I've been a witness.

So I dodged that. But he behavior, if I had my brain,. So I dodged that, but he behavior, if I had my braille, but this was three weeks ago, I would have told him how I really felt, which was, don't be coming in here with that knife for you. Who has the time? Who has the time? Not me, but on that day, I literally did not have the time.

So I just left it. Where was it? You know, Joan, I feel like I want to keep you in my back pocket and just pull you out. When, because what I like about your reading, and you do have on your glasses, so it is a read, what I like about the way that you read is that it is not, it's still giving classy.

Like you strike me as the kind of person who starts the emails with to whom it may concern or as previously stated, like it is giving, how did you become this way? Have you always been so diplomatic in your reading? Because some of us need lessons because I am either fully holy ghost kindness or you have now gotten on my last nerves. I don't have no scriptures for you. Like all you got is me right here and like it's going to be raggedy And I want to be more like you have you always been this way

You know, you know, I'm not always I'm from Harlem, New York Preventra five Harlem New York There's a difference. There's a difference. Okay, not we didn't have no doggy parks when I was there. Okay. I don't know. We had all of the noodles. You know what I mean? Check it. The good count. Okay. That's what we had. But I'm definitely not always been this way. As I said, Sarah, I will say it is the career that I chose has definitely given me a professional voice. That I have to, you know, I have to use often

it's giving me a professional voice both audibly and over email. I love a good italicization and, you know, I love the bold, the key text that you know that I mean what I said and I'm not here to waste your time. So don't waste my, but you know, you can say it in such a way that you could even throw a smiley face in that. They allow you to put the emojis in. Give that a four. It's Tabitha Brown, your spirit animal, because.

That's hilarious. This is because you are actually, you are my spirit. Oh, Lord. That gives me hope. Maybe I can't see myself because you make me want to be better, like better, different, more, more than this, different. And you make me want to be better, like better, different, more, more than this, different. Do you make me want to be myself?

Oh, yes. And I go like, yeah, so that's all we got to, that's all we got. So that's like code switching. Like you have, do you do some, is that, is this where we're going? That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is.

Yes, I love this. Okay, so tell me about the first time you realize, like, I'm going to have to, because this is very important, because I try to tell people, like, I'm balancing this line of, I want you to be authentic, but I don't want your authenticity to rob you of opportunity. And if you aren't willing to develop your language and recognize what is effective in the rooms that you're in, then you may miss out on legitimate opportunities because you weren't willing to change your language. Do you, what do you think about the culture of code switching the necessity of it? And do you think that there is a space where you should be able to just come the way that you are into professional environments and they should have just like

where is the middle road? I personally think there's a version of myself in all of those rounds. There is a professional Jones that can speak at the board meeting. You know, that can speak with people who are in the sweet of these big companies. There's an authentic version of that Joan. There's also an authentic version of the Joan who can key key on the couch while you know watching way into a tail and the key key turns into a cry and a testimony. Sorry, sorry, sorry. and the key key turns into a cry and a testimony. So it's our right.

And there's a space for us to show up as our authentic self, everywhere we go, as long as we're going into the right room. And I believe that for every room, I answer. And I want all the women that I do community, I'm in community with to see it that way as well. So we never feel like we're putting on, you know, the whole walk into every fire that's our lifestyle.

You know, the same way we would dress up to go to church, that's going to be different than how it would be if we, you know, if we went to a festival, festival is there to my mind right now? Yeah. I love how carbs can make everything alright. Need a break, but no time for a vacation? E-carbs. Celebrating exciting news? E-carbs.

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Start your trial today at noom.com slash evolve. I love that because what I hear you saying is that there are dimensions to authenticity. Just because you are authentic with your family members doesn't mean that that is the same authenticity that you need to take into work. And I feel like giving ourselves permission to change is difficult when we have family members who are like, why do you act different when you're over there or why do you speak different when you're in this space? How do you navigate people having to embrace different versions of who you are?

Oh, they love it. My friends are the biggest support system when it comes to that because they see me in my most raw form. They see me in my home and then they'll see me answer the phone because my boss just called me or because I have you know someone who's really important on the other line and they'll don't shuffle in the background but they know okay that's the work called and I'll never forget I was in the car with my dad one time and he said I got off the phone and he said I just love your professional voice. Now this is my father who raised me right and who knows what I sound like when I'm just a baby. But he also knows what I sound like. And I'm talking to the president of a company that I have to work with for my big girl job. So they all get to see all versions of me and I'm fortunate that they embrace it. Oh, that's so good.

I feel like we spend a lot of times talking about the people who aren't able to do it, which I think is legitimate because not everyone has that level of support. But how has, this is like a two-fold question. Like how has having that level of support made you more grateful for who you are? That's what at Womany Bob this week,

we're talking about just like exhaling gratitude. So like, I guess if you could say anything to those people who have given you permission to bloom and grow and to switch and to be off and to be on, what are the words that you would say to them that would be just you exhaling your gratitude for them. I would say thank you for allowing me to be human. You know we as black women don't often get the space to be human when we step outside of our houses right. We we take our bonnet off, we do our

hair and we show up in the world it's who the world expects us to be. But I'm so grateful for the people who say, girl, if you come downstairs with those jailbrains, and this girl that is holding all the highest press red, we still love you. You know, it's important that we all find people who love us from the time we wake up, and so the time we go to sleep, because we get those different versions of ourselves,

and we give those different versions of ourselves and we give those different versions of ourselves to the world every day. So it's nice to have that affirm. So Okay, so when I said it's a two-fold question, do you feel now a responsibility to create those spaces in your own relationships? Like, do you deal with intentionality or is it something that comes organically? And I think this is important because a lot of times it's like I want to be the friend that people can feel human with but sometimes I can be judgmental or you know, like my advice is unsolicited and I don't create space

for people to be human. Do you have to intentionally kind of bring yourself into the awareness that like I want to be a safe space? So I have to be aware of the things in me that could create, you know, limitations for where people can allow me to walk with them. That is a great question. You know, I would say it starts with me being brave enough to show up as vulnerable, me allowing myself to show up as human.

You know, I was the girl who was class president for all four years of high school. You know, when I got to college, president of our Black Student Union, I just have always been kind of the face of the things that I'm involved with. So you have to put on a face. You have, when you leave your college dorm and people know you're the president of an organization, you have to carry yourself a certain way. But when I became a real adult, right? Once I had to start form of my own friendship, nobody cares what was on your resume in college, right? The first time or the first season when I really just said, I'm human and I'm going to show up as this flawed individual who is not always worried about what people are thinking about me. The people I started to trust with that person is, you know, those

are the people who I've kept around. So the first step for me, I guess it would be, it would be brave enough to take the cake off and say, all right, these are people I trust to see me as I am and that gave them the courage to do this thing. Okay, John can take her cake off. Where's my hanger? You know, like when can I do the same? Okay, John, because you strike me,

have you done the Anya Graham test? No. Okay, I'm not really well versed at it, but you kind of sound like mine is a number three. I'm an Anya Graham number three. You gotta look it up. It don't mean nothing, but look it up anyway. It's like a personality test.

I'm looking at it. That's gonna make you feel like, oh my God, I am seeing, but also you don't know me. And at the end of the day, God defines me. It ain't nothing. Okay, be clear, but you should also take it. I'm still taking it.

I think mine is a number three, which is an achiever. And just hearing what you said about being, you know, the student body president in high school and black student union in college, you strike me as an achiever, as someone who really prides himself on their ability to go after a goal and make it happen. How do you balance being an achiever,

but also not falling into the trap of being the strong friend, because you also talked about vulnerability, and oftentimes we feel like I can only do one or the other. So if I'm gonna be an achiever, I can't show any weakness, but then that vulnerability is necessary because we are human. How did you discover?

I don't know. I wanna, because I just know there are people listening who wanna take off their cape. Like how did you discover those people? How did you discover the way in which you allowed yourself to be human, even if you were achieving and doing well in other circles? So again, great question.

I think for me, so I write poetry and that has always been the safe space for me to bring my vulnerable thoughts. If I'm on stage performing, no one sees the process that it took to create this piece, right? And the critique I got on a lot of my work in the beginning was, well, you are who we thought you were. You know, these poems are all as funny and charming as we thought you were. But it wasn't until I really started writing about who I am when no one's looking who I am. You know, that would surprise people that I started to get a different reaction. And I had women come up to me and thanking me.

You know, they were thanking me for telling their story. And that's when it hit me. This is bigger than me. If I continue to operate over here, I'm just affirming all the things that I'm putting on social media. I'm just affirming for people with my highlight real is, but if I'm sharing with people,

yeah, I've been in love before, my heart has been broken. And this is how I look with my heart has broken. Those are the types of poems I started to write. Those are the stories I started to tell. And I saw women come to me. And then even come to me and say, we needed that. And I'm grateful that you share that story. So I know I'm not alone.

Once I realized I was helping other people feel less alone. I said the Cape got come off at nine because my purpose is bigger than this image, right? My purpose is to heal whoever needs healing and whoever my story can touch. That is so good, Joan. A lot of times, people reach out to me and they want to know how do I practice vulnerability

and one of the things that I tell them is you have to practice vulnerability with yourself. We think vulnerability is like posting it on social media or allowing our close friends and family to know about something that's taking place in us. But vulnerability begins with intimacy with self. And what I hear you saying is that your outlet did not come from people. It came from you grabbing a pen and paper and allowing it to flow through you

in a way that was meaningful and transparent and authentic to you. And I think that's so liberating for people because if you're waiting for a person to be your outlet, you may stay depressed or repressed. But if you say at the end of the day, what's in me has to come out of me and I don't know if you're like me, sometimes when I'm writing, I don't even know what's in me until I start writing. I don't even know how I feel

until I put it on paper. And there are moments when you need to figure out who you are and where you are and how you're processing and you won't necessarily be able to talk to someone to do it, but you can create an outlet through painting, through writing, through music that allows you to lay out what's inside of you. How has your art helped your relationship with God?

I'm gonna answer it, but I do have to tag you in. Okay. Okay. Not that I needed to add to it. I do just want to affirm you in this moment though. I needed to know that how I talk in general is a way I could talk to God, right? And you are someone who's voice I heard and said, hold on, I can talk to God, right? And you are someone who's voice I heard is that, hold on, I can talk to God like that. You still don't listen to me about talking to him like that?

Let's go. You know, but I had never really heard anyone who had a voice similar to mine who talked the way I felt. You talk like my homegirls, you know. So for me to hear that how I speak can reach God's ears that change the game for me. So I started writing poetry about, you know, how I talk to God. I wanted people like me or who are similar to know just because you don't pray the way pastors who are on TV pray, or the way your own personal pastor prays, doesn't mean your words are not touching God. You know, I'm the silly friend. I'm the friend in the group. You would consider the class clown who just becomes an adult and never stops.

Right? It's just, I find humor. I find humor in a lot because like being a black woman in America, it's period, right? It can be tough if we sit and think about all that we have going against us, right? I find humor in the most basic of experiences to bring joy to myself, but to bring joy to other people. And not just joy, I want to bring God to other people.

I want people to know, you can be the last plan. You can joke with God. You can say not God. Listen now. This is what you have for me. Right, right. Like I wrote a whole poem about how God is petty. You know what I mean?

There was this it. It let other people who don't consider themselves shouldn't even say, oh, well, the relationship she has with that guy she's described is one I like to have with the higher power. And if I can bring people to God through my natural way of talking for him, I've done my job. If that's two people, if that's 2000, I've done my job. Okay.

I want to hear the poem about God being petty. It's short enough for that poem though. Go for it. Yes. The God I've heard. Well you got to say it with me. I was that well. Well. Well, it's... It's... It's Teddy. You heard me right. Teddy, PE, P-P-Y, definition,

acting in favor of one's own interests, making something otherwise insignificant, something much bigger than what it actually is. That's him. Teddy. He, when God created me, he converted crack into catastrophe. To cost me and to calculus, quadratic-like equations forming square-like roots through college, college,

or into stages. Spaces that feel like victories seemingly meant to be still in void and we don't quite entirely. Questions left unanswered about emptiness and anxiety and how it feels to have the world. But no, you sacrifice it all for a little house in suburbia to sufficiently working cars, two and a half babies, and a dog or a guinea pig, or whatever those little crumps matches want,

but no, the God-aster gives me dreams, tests, trials, themes while continuing to bless the rest of my friends with all these names. Petty, I know it when I see it because I am my father's child and I can hear a smell of taste petty from corner's blocks of miles, I guess you can call it, my love language. It's like when your petty matches my petty, I readily and petal me full in love. And then the petty and me speaks to the petty in you and the bad actors, extremely petty for introducing me to you.

You blueprint, be perfectly poetic, proto-taste. It's like he sees me as something otherwise insignificant, you as something much bigger than what it actually is. And then he puts the world on hold inside of us, well, putting miracles to work outside of us, giving me just enough to stay grounded. You just enough to gain sight, just enough to pay

to share with one another to keep our teeth nice and white because let's be honest. The God-Other knows that I actually had everything. I wanted a wind client know how to ask, which is why every time I prayed to be skinny, he's like, now, you go where you are. Like he knows that I had everything I actually wanted, past the Sarah. I'd never wear any real clothes. And it gets the most cold and hot soldiers and I expected.

So he's keeping me healthy and humble. I propose and I propose. It's petty agenda for its fees, any life plan of mine, so I've learned to stop measuring love and the weight, and my own perception of time, because that type of time is otherwise insignificant, if you will. Now that I have finally found Jews, something much bigger than I've ever imagined, who also just has happens to be something. Well, man, that's not a little petty poem. That is more than a little petty poem.

I am snapping. I know people at home are snapping. That is amazing. Thank you, Pat. And brilliant and just powerful beyond measure. I appreciate you. Thank you. But I do want to return it back to you

that you speaking to God the way you do gave me the confidence and the courage to write about him. So openly, because that's how I think about my God right and when I can speak to other people in that way I know you're bringing him to people who would never reach him otherwise and I would like to think I'm doing the same for the few I can reach him. Oh my gosh you're gonna reach so much more than a few. At what point did you realize, like this is a gift, like this isn't just something random, this is a gift that can really help people. Well, when I put out one of my books about,

you know, just so one of my projects is called Love and all that fits in its place, and I really become, I'd less of vulnerability out. You know, I talk about what I'm like when I take the case off and the text messages I received, the DMs I received from, you know, from close friends who read it, let me know, okay, I have to, I have to step out of my own way to get the word out there, right? Because God wants people who were not listening to him before, say, here, my poetry, because I'm the girl they think they can relate to. They know that I watch the same shows, they watch.

They know that, you know, I talk the same way they do, but they now know, all right, now that I've got you, this is the only way I've been able to get through those dark times is because I had a god-o-trap place to encourage me through those. We're in the middle of the holidays and food is at the center of it all. Why not let America's number one meal kit

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follow recipes that also expand my palate. She's fancy! Try it out and let Hello Fresh know that I sent you that's hellofresh.com slash woman evolve 14 and use code woman evolve 14 for up to 14 free meals and three free gifts. You are like such a light. You're so brilliant. Your heart is just so warm. Like I feel it.

I sense it. It's hard to believe that like you're the kind of woman that is just like, how can she go through dark times? Like because you are just like, who shines this brightly after what they've gone through? And I just, yet I feel like, what do you want? Don't do this, don't do this.

We're talking about you, don't do this. I'm not gonna lie for you? What? What? Don't do this. Don't do this. We're talking about you. Don't do this. I'm not working. What? I mean it. Okay, we're here. I mean it. I mean it.

You just have. I appreciate you. That means so much coming from you. It's, is it expensive to be you like after like, how expensive is that like? Yeah, I think I'll up. Is that what, is that what, is that like? Is that what is that what? I'm just saying how how can you say more about that?

I think I'm with you, but I want to make sure I'm with you. I you either. I don't know, man, it just seems like underneath that light and that joy has been this incredible decision to be a light. This feels like something you do on purpose. And I have found that that level of intentionality and purpose usually only comes after a trial that said you can either let this take you under or you can choose to walk on water. And it just, this feels like a choice.

I think I'm with you now. So in March of 2019, I lost my mom to a heart attack and it was unexpected she was getting better from what she was dealing with. But that was the toughest experience, the toughest time in my life. But my mom's name is Joy. And everyone in her life knew that when she walked into a room, you know, like so she had these deep dimples and this big smile. And she lit up any room she would walk into. She would wear these sunglasses for that. She always looked like a celebrity.

We're just walking through our house. But she didn't want people to see her facial expression because she was always looking at both legs. They were crazy. So that's really what was behind all that. So she was the original class panel. But knowing that she touched our community, the way she did and being

as a funeral, you know, you do, you handle the business of it all because I'm an only child and I'm there. I'm consoling everybody else and my mother's feeling a little because she's the light they've all lost and I now know that's a big you know I can't fill all of that but Lord knows I'm a trough so the decision I made when my mom left is back between now and what we meet again I'm gonna give the world all the joy I can both hers in mine and if the task is quite the task but she's's right there. And I know she's up there right next to God, like, uh, my baby didn't get her blessings today. So, uh, I don't know what time it is. I know if it's Pacific gender time over here, or when we have lessons

on balance. But that's what that's what I believe is behind it. That makes me emotional, like literally, like, tools. I'm gonna get locked in this. No, because, like, we're not gonna finish this. I just met your mother, like, it just the moment you said that, it's like God gave you a double portion of what he placed on her. And that's what I'm like. This is so, this is, I, I meet a lot of people and this is bigger than she has a great personality.

This is a double portion and nointing that God has given you to bring light to the world. And I just want you to know on the days that it's hard and the days that it feels like a struggle that you're making it, it's happening. Like you don't have to try to be joy, you don't have to try to make it show up. Like joy is just emanating through your pores. And it's just, I feel like I've met your mother

through meeting you. so her legacy continues to live on. You're doing it. You're really, really doing it. And I want you, no, for real. Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

Yeah. Oh, we're not keeping it together for the delegation we're just so y'all know. No, I appreciate it. Yeah, that's so special. I think that's comforting to know how much your parents can still be with you. Right. And how capable we are of keeping them alive in the earth. And yeah, I thank God for joy and Joan. And I thank God for you, Greta, that I appreciate.

Okay. We're going to answer an advice question together. All of us. All three of us. Okay. Let's see. It of us. All three of us. Okay. Let's see. It's long.

All right, but here we go. Okay. I'm in a very serious relationship with my lovely boyfriend. To put a long story short, we've practically been in love with each other since high school, but never did anything about it then. Then in the middle of his college years, he moved home and switched universities. Then we reconnected and have been in love ever it then. Then in the middle of his college years, he moved home and switched

universities. Then we reconnected and have been in love ever since that the last 1.75 years man. You did not give me 1.75 years. Indeed with a hearty amen. Okay. He loves the Lord and we've discussed marriage. He's saving for a ring. And I think I'll be engaged by the end of 2021. Yay! Anyway, that's just to give you an idea of where our relationship is. Of course, no relationship is perfect. And these are some things I'm curious what you think of.

How do we go about having a relationship with the Lord together? We both have our individual faith walks, but as we move into that engaged and then married stage of life, how do we keep our individual faith as we, as we move into that engaged and then married stage of life, how do we keep our individual faith as we as well as do it together? Like how does all of that work? I've heard you say before in your podcast that your husband supports you in business as well as in life, as well as you to him. Like how do you go about that? Going back to what I said before, women aren't

as acknowledged for their career when they're in a marriage. And I'm just so afraid of my boyfriend not seeing me as an equal through all of that too. He's a mechanical engineer. You've probably noticed a theme that I have a fear of not being seen as independent and strong and all of that fun stuff. I didn't, but I see it now. What I love about you and your husband

is that you support each other so much in faith and work that it all just seems to blend so seamlessly. I hate having to rely on people and even God at times and even though I should. I feel like that's part of the hindrance of not letting him support me and not always trusting that he wants to support me in the way that I want him to, which has nothing to do with him and everything to do with childhood trauma and whatnot. I'm sorry if not all of this is making sense, but I would just love to know how to blend your spiritual and professional relationship with your partner

and help build each other up. Do you wanna start you on me to start? Yeah, this is your well-housed, I'm just gonna support that particular question because yeah. Okay, and this is, I'm just gonna support that particular question because, yeah. Okay. This is what I'm gonna say. I think you should get some counseling. I think you should do some therapy because when you said that this has everything to do with childhood trauma and nothing to do with him, it does have something to do with him if it's showing up in the way that he's able to love you in the way that you're able to perceive his love.

I think that this has all of those things that you're asking, like those things just kind of work out organically, like what are you praying for? You're in one another's life. You see areas of their life where you could maybe pray for him and he can pray for you. I mean, professionally, you're sharing dreams. You're asking him to support you in certain things. Can you pray with me about those are things that just kind of happen more organically. What I'm concerned about is your fear of not being seen and how that is showing up in

this idea of not wanting to be in a marriage, even though your life is progressing in that direction. I think you should be honest with your partner about what it is that you're feeling. Like I have this fear, I need to work through this fear. And I'm not ready to get married until I acknowledge what this fear is and how it shows up in my life. Because I want to give you the best version of me.

Oftentimes we make mistakes in relationships because we enter into them. Knowing we've got our wounds, knowing we have our baggage and just thinking that they'll figure themselves out They don't just figure themselves out. It takes work. We roll up our sleeves We acknowledge them. We see how they're changing our lives our paradigms the way that we speak up how we love how we receive love This isn't just going to go away and because you see that it as an issue and a hindrance in your relationship

It should be taken seriously and allow him to join you now and praying for deliverance and healing in those areas while you seek the advice of a therapist to help you understand that childhood trauma. But don't plan a life that cures your childhood trauma. Plan a life that sees your childhood trauma, acknowledges your childhood trauma, and then build from this

space of healing. We're not going to just cut off this version of our life from when we were a teenager and say that doesn't exist anymore. It's going to show up. And because it's going to show up, you need to be able to have control and authority over it. Ignoring it means it has control and authority over you. So don't allow this to become just a secret that you hope goes away with time but address it head on and ask your partner to join you in being a part of that mission. You still gonna leave me out here by myself? That's what we doing. No, no, I'm with you. I'm with you. I thought that was great. Of Definitely great advice. I would just take this time to get to know you. And I think that goes along with you, you know, advising that she speaks out out

and for links. Once you fall in love with who you are, there's no way you're going to, you know, worry about if this person who wants to be your life partner is a monster or the right. If you love this person and you've worked on and that this person who's coming into the marriage, you have to trust and believe that this person's going to follow suit because you've shown him how you love yourself. So that's all I would add. I love it. Now I have to ask you, John, before we go, do you have any questions for me? We've been, I've been picking your brain and learning about you. Is there anything that I can share about my life, my journey to help you or serve you in any way?

Everything you're doing in terms of telling your story is super-affarming and want us to answer the advice questions that people have, you know, other folks have brought to you so that I can continue to, you know, to get your testimony and get your insight on those that they arrive, pass it there. If they arrive, I will throw mine in the photo. Well, that's it. That was our only advice questions. If you don't have no questions for me, then we can just like wrap this thing going up. Okay, yeah. I've got the advice I got from you

to this from through this last question is advice that I think I can definitely take with me and that I know the delegation can as well. Oh, I love it. Thank you for being plugged in. Thank you for sharing your light. Thank you for sharing your light. Thank you for sharing your art. It is amazing and beautiful.

If people want to get plugged in and hear more of your poetry, more of your spoken word, how do we find you? On all platforms under Joan Lyric Leslie, Lyric is my stage name and everything else is on the website, HarlemzoneLyric.com. I love it. Thank you so much, lyric. Thank you for sharing your light with us. We're better. Thank you so much for your time today and for this whole platform.

We're bringing us closer and I would love to think that when I get to heaven, there's a delegation corner. I see you in the VIP section. Oh, come on, Be Happy. Bye. Thank you. Bye. I tried to tell you there was a shift, something happened. I feel like there's some joy, like Jones mom's joy.

Just peeking up in your own soul right now. I don't know what you're going through or how difficult this holiday season may be for you is, but one thing I know for sure is this. God is always sending us signs and winks that He sees us, that He's holding us close and that we're not in it by ourselves. I hope that this was one of those signs for you.

Thank you so much, Joan, for just sharing your light with us, for helping us get through this season and making it a little bit lighter and the midst of some of the grief that we are experiencing. Saints, it's a wrap. Okay, but wait a minute. Before you go, you already know the deal. Podcast at warmnivov.com, send your advice questions,

put your name in the hat and become my next co-host. Let's keep evolving together, holding each other accountable. You're stuck with me and there's absolutely not a thing, not one little old thing you can do about it. See you next week. Weep. you