Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Pace Your Emotions

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you can care yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a unique boundary. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God fighting for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Child. I want to ask you a question as a part of the Lost and Found series for the Woman Eball Podcast. And during this podcast, we're just interviewing all types of women from different walks of life about their journey and evolving to where they are now in the different times when they found themselves lost and how they came out of those moments and what those moments taught them about themselves. And so I thought I would kick off this interview by asking you, when is the last time you truly felt lost what was happening in your life and did it

like come to you by surprise. Most definitely. I think that being lost is always a surprise because you're so sure that you know where you're going. And especially if it's some place that you've been before and you think it's going to be that you're going to get there the same way, back the same way. And when actuality, each time you're lost, it's a different experience. I would say most recently was when I got so sick and had to have that emergency surgery and I'd never been so afraid, even in childbearing, that afraid of what was really going on with my body. I was so, so afraid. I was so, so sick. And didn't know if I was going to come out of it. And I didn't know if I was going to come out of it. And the last time I felt like that was giving birth to Dexter and I looked at my mother

who was holding my hand and I said, I don't think I'm going to make it because the pain was so excruciating. But I think that that's what really underlines being lost is the amount of inks and fear and questions that nobody can really navigate that course for you but yourself. And so what turned into something that could have been very, very, very horrid for us as a family. God kind of helped me find my way and the doctors find out what the problem was and it not be something that was malignant or something that was going to change my life completely.

Yeah. So, yeah, that was lost because no one had answers for me. So when we were on tour, we did the refuse to lose tour in February. And one of the ladies who we honored as a Hail Mary in Chicago actually had experienced a brain aneurysm. And it came on unexpectedly. I think she said maybe she had had a couple of headaches before then, but really nothing that seemed unusual or alarming.

And then she had this brain aneurysm and one of the things that she wanted Dr. Anita ultimately to kind of help her navigate was this idea of her body betrayed her, right? And I think one of the things that even I think we as women kind of experience as our body changes and shifts and evolves with life is this idea of the body I once had has betrayed my confidence and self,

has betrayed my ability to show up in the world and believe that I can do so with confidence and I'm just thinking about, you know, you having that surgery and, you know, this maybe idea that, you know, my body betrayed me once, is it gonna be trained me again? How have you learned to really talk back

to that storyteller if you have it at all, but that narrative that can exist in someone's mind when they've had an unexpected trauma to their body. Well believe it or not my youngest daughter Sarah often tells me when I'm saying something to rockatory about myself or about my situation or about my life, don't talk to my friend like that. And so I learn to stop speaking negative thoughts about my body is unevolving. It is unevolving and the insecurities that I had as a younger person I realized now was a real blessing. You know, I thought it was a big, uh, uh, yips or whatever.

And then I started uneven. And I'm like, gosh, I was really, I hadn't going on then. And so I've learned to, no matter what state I've been, I've had to learn how to be content, particularly with myself, which is my biggest critic and my biggest friend. Yeah. You said something. I kind of want to write down.

So this podcast, we're going to put it on our YouTube. We're going to put it obviously on our podcast channel. But you said something that I think is really something people should take note of is this idea of don't talk to my friend like that. And that being the tool that you end up using when you have these negative self narratives or you know these uh, serrations that guide your mind. And so if you're listening on the podcast or you're watching

this on YouTube, one of the things I want to challenge you to do is to make sure that you write down that narrative that you need to counter your insecurities. Because if we don't have a narrative to counter those insecurities, then they have the opportunity to have a solo, okay, when they should at minimum have a duet. If we can't get rid of you, then you're at least going to have to share the stage with what God says about me, what my confidence and the highest version of myself says about me. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Absolutely. It's all what I say to myself, you know, as I think of myself, so am I. Yeah. And people, it seems like there's always a hater brigade that'll come by and affirm, you're right, you know. Yeah. You know, and so I had to even start blocking out the naysayers and stop even depending on people that really, really love me to affirm me. I had to do it for myself. And that's really, really helped me. It's what I say to myself ultimately that matters.

I can't rehearse it. A conversation that I'm going to have with somebody else. I can't rehearse it because I am basing my thoughts and theories on what I feel that they're going to respond or how they're going to approach me. And so I can't really have a dress rehearsal for an upcoming confrontation. I'm not a confrontational person. I hated it. It takes too much energy for me to get back to who I really am. My baseline is not confrontational, but I'm not a sucker. Oh, right that down. Yeah, right it down. Yeah, that's true.

You said something about your body dissolving, your body's unevolving. So I guess the antonym to evolving is dissolving. But if you think about it, come when I feel something on this, you can't evolve unless something in you dissolves, right? So if you're going to evolve into confidence, then your insecurities have to dissolve, right? So I wonder if you can share with us the last time you really felt a certain way of thinking, a certain way of being or believing that had to dissolve in order for you to evolve. I can think of something, but I want to hear what you have to say, but I'm thinking even about your home collection and how you really had to come to a place where you took it by the horns and you said,

no, I'm going to ride this thing all the way out. But that confidence had to come at something dissolving. What was that fear? something dissolving, what was that? Fear. Yeah, fear. And I don't deal with rejection well. And so when my first launch didn't go as I had purposed it to go,

I immediately started feeling rejected. I thought my product's not good, or what is it? What is it? When actually it was the fact that I really hadn't put myself wholly into it, that I had kind of hit it, patty cake, that it, but if you're going to really ride a bull, you've got to grab it by the horns, you know?

And like those mechanical bulls that I've never done that, but it seems like to me, the way that you don't get tossed off is that you anchor down and you hold on, no matter how fast it goes or no matter how bucky it gets, you just make it up in your mind that you can get your rhythm and you can really ride this thing out. And then also hope differs makes the heart sick. And so I was low key trying to get a little depressed about it. And because it was 60, I was 60 when I tried to launch it at one of the largest meetings we had and it like totally flopped.

And I couldn't understand at all. And so I thought, okay, well, it's still important to me, the significance of home, my message, my mission, my vision. None of that has changed, but my approach to it had to change. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Do you ever feel like your brain is getting in its own way? Like, you know what's good for you, but you just can't do it. That's me when it comes to worrying about things I can't control or uphold in boundaries with the people I love.

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So I talked about on one of our active eight messages. I talked about the one that was actually last week. I talked about in order to discover your purpose, you know, I think dad actually says that he's, you know, find your passion. If you find your passion, then you'll find your purpose. But I talked about how the root word of passion ultimately means suffering. He says that you find your passion, if you find your passion, then you'll find your purpose. I talked about how the root word of passion ultimately means suffering. If you find the thing you're willing to suffer for, then you'll find your purpose in that because most people will give up when the suffering comes.

If you're willing to suffer through it, then you discover purpose. As you were saying that, I thought about how you were willing to suffer through rejection and suffer through fear so that you can ultimately really lay hold of your purpose, can you just share with us how important it is that we don't give up in suffering? And I think more specifically, when to know when it's worth suffering and when to know when it's not worth that suffering. Wow. When you said that, I started thinking about, they're suffering and then there's long suffering. You know, and so what we might attribute to being suffering is something that we're being very, very selfish about or self-centered about. But long suffering usually involves your relationship with some other person.

And so if I can suffer on my own, then I can assist someone else in their suffering. And everybody wants to be there for the party, but nobody wants to be there to clean up. Right, right. And that's bad. That's an actual, that I know an allergy. That's an actual factual. It's so true. Yeah.

And so I was always the person that didn't mind being the one to clean up. Yeah, for sure. You know, it doesn't matter to me. And I could put it up and I could take it down. But when I want to involve everybody, then I have to look at it from their preview because maybe they weren't raised or they weren't,

they're not wired the way I am. I am a loki, a party animal. I love parties and entertaining and it doesn't have to be for me. It could be for anybody. I just really like people to be happy and have a good time. And so suffering teaches me to serve others. It teaches me, it has taught me to serve others because they don't know any better.

At what point do you say, all right, that's enough suffering. I think after I've stepped over the puddle so many times that they made, like they made the puddle and I've stepped over it, I've walked around it, I've suggested that you mop it up, I've refused to mop it up myself and that's when I'm maxed out on suffering. In that message that I was telling you about, I said that you can qualify the suffering based on the salvation connected to it, right?

And I just think about Jesus for the joy that was set before him. He endured the cross, but the salvation that was waiting on the site was worth the suffering. I think we are unwilling to suffer when we stop believing in the salvation that's on the other side.

So I think that if you're in relationship with someone and they're willing to suffer to be in relationship with you, because listen, relationships are gonna have some element of suffering in it, right? Like even God given parenting, marriage, friendships, there's gonna be an element of suffering. Oh, look at this. You're gonna get your feelings hurt, things are going to turn out the way that you want them to

But when the salvation what you offer me is greater than suffering you give me then I can take the balance of suffering Now when it ain't nothing but suffering And I'm only like him. I am not him. And I don't know. I am Christ. Like majorly, majorly. When you were talking about your line, you mentioned something about like low key going

through a depression because it didn't work out. And I just thought how brave and courageous it is for you to say that you were low key going through depression I wonder if you're like me so sometimes I don't realize I was going through depression until I'm out of the season Because in the season I think I'm okay, but then when I look back on it I'm like man, I was depressed like even after my pregnancy. I like No, I'm pretty sure I was depressed, but what let me know that when I met Taree and you kept telling me that you hadn't seen me smell like that since before I was a little girl.

Oh my god. Oh my goodness. I mean, it was like when I light up my Christmas tree for the first time, I saw you. It was like, look, she's back. She's back. She's back to being whole and allowing her self-the-permission to be happy. And it was just a beautiful, beautiful thing. It wasn't something that you had to paint on or think about it. It was just automatic. And I thought, if he makes her smile like this every single day, that would be amazing. Or if he makes sure that she smiles more than she cries, I can work with that a little bit.

But I don't want too many tears. Not alright? Help. But I think to you, when you said that though it made me realize that I must have been going through a depression for a few years, I mean. For a few years, a few years, even the way that you would work out and start adusing. And it was almost like you were self-flagulating yourself. You know, to me, it felt like you were just flogging yourself. Like, I'm not this, I'm not that. And it wasn't true.

It wasn't true. Everything that you are now was always inside of you. You just needed to have permission to come up out of that horrible pit physically and naturally. Yeah. Yeah. And you talk about suffering as a parent sitting there and watching that. I'm thinking in someone listening to this podcast right now, it's probably watching their

child go through a tough season. I got a question from a lady in Denver and she was telling me that her daughter just doesn't listen to her no matter what and she doesn't agree with the way that she lives, but her daughter doesn't listen to her and I she lives, but her daughter doesn't listen to her. And I asked her how old her daughter was. She said 35 and I was like, well, you know, at a certain point, you just kind of have to let God take over and allow her to learn on her own. But how do you deal with watching a child go through a suffering season. Well, as a member, a certified card toting member of moms United, I don't care how old you

all get. I humbly submit my suggestions to you. Sometimes at the risk of being an interfering grandmother or an interfering mother-in-law or what have you, I always have an opinion whether I'm voicet or not. I always have an opinion about the well-being of my children, but at a certain age after you've wrestled with the same thing over and over and over with your child, there comes a time where it's not like, have it your way, it's that, okay God, I'm going to get out of your way. And I always pray, let them come to themselves without grief, because I don't want it to be with sorrow. Yeah. Yeah, because the blessing, so the Lord, make you rich, but and it's not just monetary wealth. It's

rich in your soul and in your spirit and in your mind and in your heart. And so, and so and and it's not supposed to be with sorrow. It doesn't add sorrow with it. So if you're on the path right now, whoever this daughter is that be maybe a little bit rebellious right now, it's not supposed to be with sorrow. And I can't spank you anymore, but I'm telling you the Holy Spirit is got a paddle. Oh my gosh, that'll whip you right in line. So no, but I think that idea of the woman being able to really sit back and let God get her together. Can you remember like maybe the first time or maybe even the most recent time where you just know for sure like God checked me on that? I'm trying to. Ooh.

I have the tendency to elevate people in such a way that's borderline lowercase W worship, where I don't give them room for faults or failures or disappointments. And then when they do disappoint me, I immediately, immediately think. But I thought so much of you, you know, I had you on this pedestal, you know, and how could you disappoint me? And then I thought, that was your fault. Nobody told you to put them that high on the totem pole. And when I tell you that God checked me and it was a checkmate, it shut me all the way down.

When I thought, that's what you get. Yeah, leave room for people to be human and for God to be God. Oh, I cannot be little God. Yeah. I have to tell you, I think the last time I got super hard checked by God, I think God finds a way to check me like 24, 7 throughout the day. But the last time I got super hard checked,

I was supposed to be speaking at an event in Virginia and I've been going nonstop just like drop a bag turn around and move on to another city It's almost so the other day as in my luggage closet I saw my suitcase. I was like wow, I haven't seen you in a long time and you used to be the only thing I've seen But I was supposed to go and I just have never felt so close to mentally having a breakdown. I just didn't have it. I couldn't become that person who gets up at three

and catches the plane and sits in the airport and has the layover and gets in at midnight and gets up at seven and shows up at nine and preaches and gets on the plane and goes through. I just couldn't find that person. You have to become somebody to do that. And I couldn't find her down on the inside of me. And I felt like if I go, I might literally break down.

But so I called the host and I told the host I wasn't going to be able to make it. But if I'm honest, I felt a lot of guilt. Like I felt like I let God down. Like I let them down. People were tweeting me, like felt a lot of guilt. Like I felt like I let God down. Like I let them down. People were tweeting me, like we're waiting on you. Where are you? We're looking for you.

And I was afraid to, not afraid, but like I made a conscious decision to like not worship and to like not pray because I just felt like I let God down. And I think when we feel like we've let God down, we separate ourselves from God. So like of course the Bible says nothing can separate us, but we can separate ourselves with our own thoughts and insecurities.

And I just really like finally was just like, God, I'm sorry. And I'm just like a apologize. And I felt like God told me in that moment, like you think I'm into you because of what you do. And that's always been your problem, whether it's good or bad, it doesn't change who I am in your life. And when you stop trying to perform for me, then you'll

really get to know me. And I might like check, checkmate. Checkmate. Yeah, total. Yeah, because like, man, I think if we aren't careful, especially when you start entering into this realm of like, okay, now I'm doing the right thing for God, is that we think that we're doing something for him. Like this is a favor for him when in reality, it's like, I want to really dive into knowing who you are. And I don't know, I have to constantly remind myself to break out of this need to perform for people to perform for God.

I think that, you know, whatever our issue is, I feel like it shows up in every area of our life. And I feel like my issue is performance, wanting to perform for people to meet their expectations and not let them down. And when I feel like I fail at that, I just remove myself from the equation altogether instead of having enough vulnerability to really try and grow and confront my feelings and emotions and confront their expectations and move forward. I don't know, does that make sense at all?

Yes, it does, it does because to me, when you have to do what you do from night to night, to night it could very easily turn into a routine and a performance, you know? And the fact that you can step back from it, you know, I mean, you just got a distance yourself from it because you'll come home and still be performing. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. You know, and it's like I tell your father a lot of times, you just came from an auditorium full of thousands of people to an audience of one. And so the clapping may not be as loud, but it says meaningful. Yeah. Man, that idea of performance

and really bringing out of that and being willing to step back, right? Because the thing that I felt like helped me find myself, I then got lost in and I think to the point in this series of like life being this cycle of being lost and found, it is possible to lose yourself and what works well. Just because something works well

doesn't mean that you can't get lost in it. And it's so true. A lot of courage to be able to say, I know that this looks good, I know that it's impactful, I know that it is effective, but it is no longer who I am. I felt like we only thrive when we live from our core.

And now I'm doing it from this space of what is expected of me instead of the place of overflow. And so coming back to your core, I feel like being found is really about coming back to your core in every season of life. Absolutely. In every way. And people can tell that you're not trying to figure it out that this I've chosen for myself and I'm going to work it because it works for me. Yeah. You know, I think it's very important that we're able to do that. I heard a person was laughing. They said that when his wife comes home, she takes off her spanks. She takes off her brazier.

She takes off her wig. And she takes off her lashes. And she puts all that stuff in the drawer. And he's like, so do I get in the drawer? Yeah. Yeah. You know, or do I ask you, who are you anyway? Yeah.

And you're the person that I love. You're the bare face, bare butt person that I love. And all of that other stuff we have to do when we go outside, but quarantine is brought on a new routine for a lot of people. They just want to look bad every day. Just how you feel? Just how Just bad. Just how you feel. Just bad.

Look bad. Feel bad. Bad. That's like Ella and her's bad. Bad. There's this clip. I want to see if we can pull the audio of Ella leaving her swim class.

And her nanny was with her and her nanny extra how her swim class was. She said, bad. Like don't ask me else. Man, I was gonna ask you so that idea of core, who are you at your core? Like when you think about, you know, getting back to your core and teases on your losing bound cause I really feel like that's the solution, right?

When you feel lost is to get back to the core. It matters the most to you, what doesn't matter. How do you get back to your core and who are you at your core? I have to get back to my core through isolation. And I'm not talking social distancing or anything. I have to almost shut myself down with just me. Sometimes two days, sometimes I just have to do a hard shutdown and be able to get in my word, get in my prayer face and and just not be influenced by television, the news or any people. That's the only way I can find out who Sarita is. Because everything is built for extroverts,

and I'm an introvert. And so, in order for me to reestablish my baseline, I have to get along. Sweater weather is that you, ladies, I'm all for this this season but don't let this cool air fool you. You'll start laying your clothes and run up on a sweaty little secret. Remember odor isn't just an underarm thing, it's an all over thing. And thanks to our friends over at Loom, we have access to clinically proven whole body deodorant that provides 72 hour odor protection. Trust and believe it's gonna keep us fresh this fall. And what

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It comes with a solid, stick-deodorant, cream-tube-deodorant, two free products of your choice, like Mini Body Wash and Deodorant Wipes and Free Shipping. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Loom Starter Pack with code Evolve at loompodcast.com. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack when you visit loompodcast.com and use code Evolve. I can't for the life of me think about who it was, but my husband was talking about some Instagram live that he was watching and during the Instagram live.

They were talking about how important it is for couples to spend time alone during the, you know, self-isolation, quarantine season, but also make sure that they were being intentional about spending time to buy themselves. I like he just told me about it this morning and that was like when a light bulb went out for me because I'm either like working or cooking or Mom, or Why you mean you know that mean I have not just Serod and I think It kind of slipped away from me because in the littlest ways I get to have those moments when I'm in the car And I call you. I'm headed to the grocery store. Yeah, I'm headed to the office or I'm in the car and I call you, I'm headed to the grocery store. I'm headed to the office or I'm in the office. Like I have these pockets of alone time and I think if I'm not intentional about that,

then I am gonna miss out on who I am and I'll look up and I'll be off-centered and off-balance. But I think in this season, particularly, it's gonna require for us to be intentional about enlisting help from those around us And I think sometimes for me as a wife like I And I don't want to say like afraid to ex my husband But I just like don't I feel like I need to let him know it's like I have it under control

Like it doesn't even dawn on me to say like hey babe I need you to take Elleton for her night routine tonight. I just need a minute to myself I just feel like I have to do everything by myself. And I think that that train of thinking especially in a marriage is flawed because you end up resenting your partner for something that you didn't even ask them to help with. So good. That's so, so good. Yeah, I think even just taking a minute to take a bath and not feel guilty, you know, because the kitchen's not clean. Yeah, I think even just taking a minute to take a bath.

Yeah. And not feel guilty, you know, because the kitchen's not clean. Right. Yeah, this quarantine period has been very, very good for us. And as much as you know, you daddy's a busy body. And he's always got to have something going on and something to do. And he's had his fill of something going on and something to do and he's had his fill of it with these interviews and international interviews and oh yes, it's crisis mode, but

when I tell you it's not bothering him, that he's not able to go to pop it, oh no, we got in the cards the other day and we drove over to Coras and just put supplies on the porch. You know, just and came back home. And then last night he told me to try to find a movie that we could watch and eat dinner and somehow my password. Oh my. My password wouldn't work. I didn't change your password. This is not this is not the time for us to argue about it. But I didn't change your password. We need to get it in so I could watch. Yes, we will screen share and now we'll send it in to you.

You probably have, it's probably sending me a code to authorize whatever it is you're watching because I need to be the most of you eating California. Okay. Yeah, it's going in wrong. In wrong. What have you guys been watching? Like have you watched anything good and enjoyable lately? Oh gosh, I like the madam CJ Walker movie.

I haven't seen it yet. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I think you'll like it. Oh, mom, you should watch Tiger King. We watched a little bit of TMZ's coverage of it, but I can't with them. You, you, you, it's really something else. You know what we watched that was good bombshell Jamar said sister Jake's I need a mask

Do you have a mask are y'all walking around with mask and gloves? When we go out yeah Yeah, I just went to CVS the other day Yeah. Yeah. I just went to CBS the other day, but daddy went to take services the other day and I made sure he had masks and gloves. Yeah, it's pretty sci-fi around these parts.

It is, I remember going to the grocery store and feeling like, man, this is really something else. You know what I mean? Seeing everyone in their mask and with gloves on, it was, and how quickly it all shifted and changed. I think we, I would think about, it's the world changes, like we're gonna get some type of warning or that will be prepared for it,

but this is the world. It's not just the US, it's the world. And they would say, I don't know where we would go because every area, you know, he said, maybe Wyoming or somewhere like that, you know, it's quite interesting. And we've been trying to send messages to our deputants and make sure that we've got children's ministry

and youth ministry available. A lot of them are so sad because they're not gonna have a prom. They're not gonna have a graduation. We had to cancel the Coutillian. I mean, I think ILS was canceled. I don't, they've got people in the dome in Atlanta is an overflow for hospitals. So I'm not really sure.

What are you doing? First off in the season, I know we're almost finished, but I just want to know, like, what are you saying to yourself during this time that's helping you to? Well, baby, I've got a low tolerance for immune systems. I don't have a very, very strong immune system. So I have to really take this seriously, you know, because if there's anything, all of my doctors say with Murphy's Law, if anything can go wrong, serita, your name is up under that list. All of my doctors have told me that. And so, yeah, well, they got to know them a little bit when I was learning. Yeah, what what I said they don't put you on a Murphy's law

I said what I said you can keep talking You know what I'm saying about what I said what I said don't say to my friend like that don't speak over my mama like that now go on with your story Yeah, so I miss y'all. I miss you too. I miss y'all. I do. The people are still in the warehouse. And I miss being involved in my business. And people aren't going to have a lot of expendable income.

So I'm trying to be very strategic and sensitive about making sure that home is home. But I just did an article that home, not so sweet home. And what do you do when being home is not safe because your abuser is there. Jean. And so I did some fact-finding up until about 1918, women were considered property of men. So there was no laws against domestic violence or domestic abuse. And so if you got a pal-p, from your husband, you deserved it. And so now men still have a lot of men still have that anger.

They're losing their jobs. They're stuck in the house with screaming kids and you know, maybe they don't have like space to kind of have their own little corner. And it's just a lot going on in these homes that bothers me more than anything. What's going on behind closed doors. Yeah. And I've been trying to address that one lady told me that she couldn't afford to keep her daughter at home. So she sent her to her father. She did not know that her father had abused her, sexually abused her for years and years. So the little girl writes she's sitting in the corner in her room and every time she hears

his footsteps, she thinks it's going to start again. So I've been very, very concerned about that. There's nowhere for us to send them. The shelters are overrun and we're in a pandemic. So it's not safe in the house. It's not safe outside the house. So I ordered something yesterday for Ellen McKinsey from Highlights. It's a little kid like it's a little treasure hunt that they'll be able to work on to give the kids something, something to do. Yeah. Yeah. I think that perspective on how Yeah. I think that perspective on how this virus, this pandemic has affected so many people in ways that you wouldn't even think of.

Of course, the economy is crazy with the restaurants being closed down and thinking of people who are essential workers and how they are exposing themselves, but even like you sit down to those who are struggling in domestic violence situations or literally don't know how they are exposing themselves, but even like you sit down to those who are struggling in domestic violence situations or literally don't know how they're gonna keep a roof over their head. I think that this virus has been so sobering. I think it's late.

Because we're spending more time with our families, the earth is healing, but some people are being devastated at the same time and all of these are being devastated at the same time, and all of these nuances are happening at the same time. We have a newsletter that we write for woman evolve, and I just talked about how we shouldn't need a pandemic to know that people are just one exposure away from their life being radically changed. And then they're carrying issues that we may or may not know about, like a woman who's going through domestic violence or like a little girl who's going through sexual

abuse. I wonder as we close out, if you can offer us some hopes, some kind of faith that we can hold on to, I feel like for me, my emotions come in waves. Sometimes I feel like, I'm so good. I'm so bad and I'm okay. And then other times I'm stuck, I'm trapped. I've probably caught it. I wake up hot in the middle of the night. I'm like, is that you? Is that girl?

Is that you? Rhona, have you come for me? But living with that fear, literally, that at any moment we could have it and it could change our lives, it's scary. So I just want to know, will you speak over us as a mom and help to soothe our hearts? There's nothing like a mom.

I feel like, you know, when you've been blessed to have a good one, because I know that that's not everyone's experiences, but that idea of what a mom should be when you have that or when you long for it, what you want is really someone to comfort you. And so I wonder. Absolutely. The surrogate mom of woman evolving comfort is. Oh, it's my delight to do so. I think that it will start within yourself because you can't give out what you don't possess.

And so you have to nurture your own heart, put the mask on yourself first before you try to put it on someone else and ask yourself the heart questions. Am I okay? What's really bothering me about this situation? Is it the money? Is it the kids and their, me not being able to help them with their lessons because they don't do that anymore. I haven't been in school in 111 years.

So speaking to yourself, positive affirmations, if you got a tape among the refrigerator, that refrigerator is a demon doing this season. I want you to know. I'll be clicked now. In that room, I'm not about a demon. Yeah, you can't, you can't eat your way out of it, but you can control the atmosphere of your home. It doesn't matter if the water is outside the boat, it's when it gets inside the boat and whatever you have to do to flush that out of your mind and out of your heart, even if you're there by yourself. You know, I think about the boys and

how lonely they get. Marry's like, it's like, I can't go anywhere. I'm used to being at home, but don't tell me I can't go. So just call him. Ella used to say, calm down. It's okay. It's not okay today. It may not be okay tomorrow, but you might as well pace your emotions

and hold on to as much pieces you can, as much pieces you can because the enemies after your peace, hold on to as much pieces you can and just put it in invisible jar and pinch off of it and put the lid back on it real, real quick and let your peace reflect in the people that you have to do. I'm writing that that pays your emotions. I love that because my emotions come in like a flood and some people drown me. But remember we have the control to

paste our emotions is everything. Yeah, he just don't them out limitlessly and don't go to any unneeded unnecessary battles. Yeah. Yeah. You know, don't pick a fight and don't end a fight. You know, don't pick a fight and don't end a fight. Just let it be. Yeah, thanks mom. Thank you. I love you. Thank you for being our first guest. you