Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Reigning While Waiting w/ Myleik Teele

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

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Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 God can't bless you for ten to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a tea you need boundaries. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your validation. All I need is a God fighting for me that's their all things. All things, all things.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Try. I'm going to be honest, one of my least favorite things to do is getting on the phone. Text me. Please send me an email, send me a pigeon, DM me. Do not call me. What I hate even more than being called is having to make phone calls, especially to like customer service or trying to get a solution in airline, whatever it may be, I dread the period of waiting on the phone while hoping to get a solution. There's always
Starting point is 00:00:59 these moments where you're on hold and you're like, I hope the call doesn't drop, I hope the call doesn't drop, or you get into this space and you're like, you know what, forget it. I'm gonna hang up, I'll figure it out online or I will try and figure this out tomorrow. But then there are other moments. Moments where you have full bars of service, your phone is completely charged
Starting point is 00:01:18 and you don't have nothing but time. In those moments, waiting is like a competition. I wish you would put me a hold for 20 minutes. I don't have anything to do anyway, and I am going to make sure I get the answer to this problem. When we learn to posture ourselves in a position of confidence while we're waiting, it is hard to be shaken.
Starting point is 00:01:41 But it's challenging to get to that place because there are moments where our anxiety gets the best of us. We don't know that the solution will be worth it or that the destination in the end will produce the result we had in mind, and so we lose our position in those moments where we're waiting. This week we're talking about having the hope to rain no matter what is happening going. And I don't mean R-A-I-N. I mean R-E-I-G-N where we maintain our crown, our confidence even when there is uncertainty about where we are presently located. There's a woman in the Bible her name is Ruth and
Starting point is 00:02:21 Chao. You got to read the whole Bible. you'll find it. But if you read her story, you'll see that her life experienced a major transition, the type of transition that should have sent her back to who she used to be. She should have shrunk. But instead, she made the decision while she didn't know where life was headed to still maintain her position. I don't know what you're up against, but I want to encourage you to continue to reign even while you are waiting. Don't allow the
Starting point is 00:02:49 transition to change your position. Still trust that God has a purpose for your life. Trust that there is no hope in going backwards that the only hope that you have right now is waiting with faith and trust and consistency that led you to where you are right now. One of the things that I love about my leaked teal is that she has allowed us access to her life as she has undergone transition after transition. She is evidence that once a queen, you are always a queen. Her resume is beyond impressive. She is the host of a podcast, Mai Tachu. She is the founder of Curl Box, but most impressively, she is a woman on a journey who has invited other women to be a part of the highs, the lows, the victories, the lessons, and the blessings that have shaped who she is. I'm so excited to mind her business with you.
Starting point is 00:03:45 So let's get into it. You are one of the most inspirational women that I have the opportunity of following on social media. And I think part of what has I really drawn me to your story, your journey, is watching this evolution of you, you have been generous with sharing with us where you are and giving sage of your life without apologizing for having changed. Like it's such an invitation to join me as I discover what my true
Starting point is 00:04:21 good in this season while also honoring that that was just as much my true five 10 years ago as this is my truth now. So like tell me a little bit about like how you decide to cultivate what you share, how you show what in social media and knowing that there are so many people connected to your story. You know, I, I'm the youngest and I have a brother and my brother and I are four years apart. And so we were always sort of just like distant our our our entire lives. And I just wished for a big sibling, a big cousin, someone that could show me the real part of life. You know, because you get to see this sort of romanticized
Starting point is 00:05:10 version, you get to participate in the fantasy, but I really was like, I want somebody to show me how things really are. And so I share sometimes hesitantly, because I know that people need a free reality. Okay, so I have to, I want to find, like, I want to ask this and then I want to fix it if it doesn't come out the right way. But I feel that from when I first started journeying with you, listening to your podcast, watching
Starting point is 00:05:42 you on social media, I felt like one of the things that drew me to you is that you were so direct. You came off as like, so, and I loved it because I am, people tell me I'm not direct, you know? I've been around in the bush, but it's not like, I know I'm being around the bush and it's just how I communicate.
Starting point is 00:06:01 So when I came into this stage of my life, where it was evident that like you're moving into a larger leadership role, you need to be clear, you need to find your work, like you literally became a mentor to me. And so that is, I think my initial connection point with you, but I feel like you have started engaging. I will say before it even became a thing, like soft girl era, and then we started to see you really tap into before that was like the term. So like have you noticed,
Starting point is 00:06:30 am I picking up on something like has there been a shift and like what do you do to be that shift to? Yes, so I started to like, you know what I mean? It's like I cranche a little bit because I can go back and listen to some podcast and look at some content and I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, I'm so moved, we direct. But I think becoming a parent, Sarah, becoming a parent has really allowed me to see the inner child and people when I engage with them. And so I would say that that is probably what has shifted for me is that like when I see my kids throwing tantrums or I see them struggling and I realize that this person didn't have a caregiver
Starting point is 00:07:17 in their life to help them in these moments. Sometimes the way that they're behaving, it's that inner child. And so I think that's what started to like soften me. And then the sort of a hot was like, if I'm treating my children this way and I'm making all this room for them, why am I so tough on myself, you know? And so I think I started to like, soft life myself. And so becoming a parent has been a gift for sure. I mean, it's hard work
Starting point is 00:07:45 but I think that's what I started to see in my audience like oh my gosh I want to be softer with them like I am with my children and myself. Did you feel like you were like betraying who you were by shedding the skin that you no longer needed. Cause I don't know. I feel like when I don't know, when you become known in a certain when your your your your delivery has become known in a certain community and you begin to shift. Like do you feel I'm just even thinking about because I get a lot of women that I feel like I want to enter into my soft grow air.
Starting point is 00:08:26 But we do draw a lot of confidence from independence, from being tough, from being strong. And so having let go of the pride, there is a legitimate pride, a confidence, a resiliency that we believe is cultivated from having this tough exterior. But also, I want to say I need help and I want to be able to depend on other people. So did you have to navigate Illinois? I'm going to have to be trained who I was to step into who I'm becoming. So you know I'm going to be super frank with you. I spent probably a calendar year. I spent a calendar year working with my therapist I spent a calendar year working with my therapist around this idea of like I was resisting. I was trying to go back, you know, I was resisting the change in my life.
Starting point is 00:09:16 And my therapist, she held me at her stand two things. The first thing was I was in survival mode. She was saying to me, you are not in survival mode anymore, you know, and I realized that that sort of tough exterior, that hunter, that go get it was I was seeking safety and security, but that was coming off like getting the bags and you know, I got to get to the bag. I got to hustle, I got to grind, but I was trying to get to a place where I was safe and secure and the truth of the matter is that I am safe and secure now and It is really hard to transition. It is such a process To not believe that you have to stay that way or to for us to believe that life truly is steps that like we are not Designed to grind forever that like we do something to get
Starting point is 00:10:05 somewhere and then we get there. It's not that we, and that this has been the hard work for me. I'm not giving up because that's really how it feels. I'm like getting up at 4.30 and I'm not doing this and doing that. It feels like I'm giving up. And so it has been a transition of getting out of survival mode. I think something else she also helped me understand was that panicking and resisting the change was blocking my access to all the creativity that got me where I am. And so she's like you literally cannot access your tools when you are in this state of panic which which I was. Yeah I was changing. That had changed. That is, I feel like that's that. Like so many layers to it that's where the idea
Starting point is 00:10:50 is like sitting there. Yeah. Because survival becomes a permanent state and it should not be. Yes. Survival is a waiting period until we get to a place where we're healing up to really start walking in recovery, restoration and living again but survival has become such a permanent state for so many of us
Starting point is 00:11:13 and we attribute our success to it. We attribute our work ethic to it because we act like the gun is still up against my head. And I don't have this gun up against my head. They will also have the same passion, but I still have the work ethic. So I have to live, like, I was talking to my kids the other day. Like you have to live like your one no way for not having anything to eat. Like that's my view of the lid.
Starting point is 00:11:38 But that's a lot of pressure when that's not your reality. And when that's no longer your reality, I do think that it feels like, and I wanna lose the hustle of the momentum, but you're saying that you're actually gonna miss the creativity and innovation assigned to where you are right now, you're gonna miss the abundance that comes after survival.
Starting point is 00:12:00 If you don't let go of the mentality that you're barely making it and explore what all is available to you That is it that is it because I kept saying to her Well, if I don't want to do these things or if I don't want to I don't want to operate like that But I feel like if I stop operating like that. I was like and this is just straight facts I was like I'm gonna have to sell my house She's like no, you're not and I I was like, I'm gonna have to sell my house.
Starting point is 00:12:27 She's like, no, you're not. And I'm like, yes, I am. And just her helping me understand that I have gotten myself, I have worked myself to a place where I can sort of like, like my pay will never be what it was when I first started. You know what I mean? You have experience, you have started a business, you have done these things.
Starting point is 00:12:49 You're like, and I need for you, like until you can get out of this mode, you will not, I couldn't see or believe it. And the crazy thing is that in a one year, I was like, all right, I'm just, she kept just wanting me to relax. Like, you make a plan and now I want you to relax. So I started relaxing.
Starting point is 00:13:10 And you know what? I was just saying that with the attitude, so I started relaxing. I started too because she would say this and I'm like, this woman does not know me. She does not know. She doesn't know. She just knows my financial situation. She does not know. And I was like my financial situation, she does not know. And I was like, you know, I was panic panic and she every week, she would say that. And
Starting point is 00:13:29 so finally, I mean, it took me months before, like at least six or seven before I could trust her. I said, you know what? I'm gonna relax. I'm gonna relax. I'm going to have dinner ready for my kids. I'm going to go for a walk every day. I'm going to to do some of the things that I want to do and money continues to come in. Bill's continued to be paid. Vacation still continues to be continued to happen. You know, it's like my lights are not going off. No one's taking my car and I'm like, wow, I just didn't believe it. And so that to me I feel like is the real flex of like what are we doing all this work we are not going to enjoy any of it. Do you think that had you kept moving at the pace that you were moving at that you actually would
Starting point is 00:14:17 have done in the opposite instead of keeping or growing it that you would have run the rest of losing it? I do. I do because I think that I would have gotten very tired, very burned out, uninspired. You know, I do think that, I don't know. I just don't think that we are designed to do the same exact thing forever, you know? And so I, I don't know, I feel, I feel called to different work,
Starting point is 00:14:47 but I feel like the work that I now feel called to, I don't know, I don't know that, I used to feel like people wouldn't relate to it or care about it because it's not like grind, you know? It's not that. And so I don't know, I was like, can I really say that? Do I really wanna say that, you know, it's not that. And so I don't know, I was like, can I really say that? Do I really want to say that, you know? But I do, you know? It's almost prophetic though, the way that God continues to like grow you and attaches people
Starting point is 00:15:18 to your growth because you were honestly about the grind and the hustle thing before that was like the design guys, before that was the move that everyone was making. You were getting the back before people were calling it through the bag. That was your building your own business, the warehouse, the shop, the sales, the people post like mindset already done that. It had been done when people were doing it. And now even with the soft growth thing, like people were still on that when you started transitioning. And so I think really being sensitive to what you hear
Starting point is 00:15:50 in any given moment, because I do think guys giving you like insight to continue to blaze that trail. And it does feel lonely. And it does feel awkward. And it's a post-it bill that way, because you are the one who's gonna teach everyone else how to follow when those footsteps and find that balance. And so even when you look at the net ministry, like this conversation at balance and rest and achievement and success being able to live in the same
Starting point is 00:16:19 place, which I totally think is helping our culture, Black culture in general to have restoration. Yeah. Because whether it is what we experience from the inception of this company, this country to what we've done when building our companies, like we only know work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, yeah, they afraid they afraid and I'm like, do you know what's staying afraid does to your nervous system? You know what I mean like when you are like I'm one I'm one check away It's not eating I'm one this I'm one that and I was just like my nervous system cannot handle this Okay, you tweeted something the other day you said except in your season and life is not giving up You said this does not mean you're done striving your way it's a way not the way. And then you said you can tell by my post what I'm working through it. I can't tell and now I want it. I want to put the clues together but I don't see them.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Okay, okay, you know I um so I'll start backwards when I said, my way is a way, not the way. And I think that I was so rooted in that I know everything and I know what's best, you know? I feel, I felt like that, I did. And even I felt like that, obviously for myself, like I know, maybe I don't, you know, maybe my way is just a way and there are many ways to be in many ways to get there, many ways
Starting point is 00:17:54 to live. And so I do feel like I am exploring other ways. I am open. I'm so open. And then when I talk about acceptance, I'm just having a really hard time. You know, I grind it a very long time. I mean, since I was, I skipped the first grade, like all of my life since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to dominate, be the best, you know, and I don't feel like
Starting point is 00:18:21 I'm the best in many. I don't feel like I'm the best in a lot of areas right now, you know. And you see your peers doing things. And so I see people that I used to hang out with doing things. I don't get invited to some things anymore. And I really am just like my leak. You, you don't want to do that. You're not doing that because you're not working to be in that room. You are working for a lifelong relationship with your children.
Starting point is 00:18:59 You are working to really give yourself what you needed as a child and you are working to trust that you can rest, that you don't have to be showing up on social media. You know what people have to be working every day. You know, trust that trust that you can do that. You know, and that trust that you can do that, you know, and that doesn't make you lazy. That doesn't mean you have given up. That doesn't mean, you know, that people we want to be seen, you know, and it's like, well, I'd be seen. And it's like, maybe not. Maybe now right now. So that's, I don't know that just felt like, yeah, that's I don't know that's just about like yeah, that's not like such a word because
Starting point is 00:19:47 I don't get accepting when you said you're not doing the work to be in those rooms like what you are working towards is a lifelong relationship with your children and really understanding that sometimes you have to choose. Do you think that's fair to say? Like do you feel like sometimes you you have to choose? You do. Sometimes you do and I don't know that it'll be this way forever, but I can tell you. Right. Based on a lot of the research that I you know I could I get all into these things and they spend that like the first five years
Starting point is 00:20:25 of your kids life is when 90% of their blood is like setting up. And that even if you, like if my kids went off to live with another family, they would have that wiring, that like, you know, that those, the regulation, the tools and that sort of thing. And so I really want to be the person to help like get their brain coding so that by the time they're five, my son just turned five
Starting point is 00:20:51 last weekend. And it's not like I'm like, okay, I'm done. But it's mostly like, okay, you know, I can start to do some other things, but I have a two and a half year old who now who also needs me. So I want to get her that time as well. And so it's a little bit of a delay, you know, I feel a little bit and so I'm okay with that,
Starting point is 00:21:10 but I do, but you do, I am choosing, you know, I am choosing. And that's hard. Did you say you wanted to read more this year? Listen, I'm not minding your business just holding you accountable, but since I get it, adulting is raggedy and life barely gives us enough time to pick a book, let alone read it. But since y'all are my homegirls, I've done the prep work. Now all you have to do is pull up on the Waman Evolve Book Club.
Starting point is 00:21:42 There are two ways to join. With the Waman Evolve Book Club membership There are two ways to join. With the Waman Evolve Book Club membership, you'll receive a monthly book box that includes your book and a special gift. With the digital content membership, it's giving, bring your own book in any format, audio, digital, hard copy, and come kick it with this. Both memberships include digital reading guides, reflection prompts, a custom playlist, and access to an exclusive Facebook group. Need I say more? Sign up at Waumenevallbookclub.com by May 10th to receive June's book. As a loyal listener, you can save $5 off your first monthly
Starting point is 00:22:20 subscription by using promo code Read. That's R-E-A-D. I'm excited to have you join us on this journey and we'll be looking for you in our Facebook community. Yeah, wherever a thing for this week is like hope to having the hope that you can reign as a clean reign while waiting. And I think a lot of times when we are in these like seasons of Transition that we can go from feeling like I was
Starting point is 00:22:50 In a space of dominion. I was raining. I was ruling and now I'm in a different season and this season feels more like waiting It's not cleared with achievement. I don't have as many projects in the works. And yet, how do I still find my kingdom in this moment in my life? And I feel like that you are giving us such a blueprint that there is a way to find that crown. It just may not be in the same thing that you were rewarded for in the previous season. That's exactly it. And that's the part when I was telling you about trusting, trusting that this season and where I am right now. You know, it could be I'm planting seeds, you know?
Starting point is 00:23:31 This could be me putting seeds down for, I don't know. But it's not easy and it's a process. Like I said, it took me a year to kind of get to this place where I'm like, you know what, I'm confident. I am confident in what I'm doing right now Especially because it doesn't look like what everyone else is doing and I want to show Someone who might be in this season that it is okay We gonna be alright
Starting point is 00:23:59 Okay, so I feel like just so you know like I have enjoyed seeing the transition I think it's important as women So I feel like just so you know, like I have enjoyed seeing the transition. I think it's important as women that we do see one another being successful, that we see ourselves walking in, how are we see the sisterhood in that as well. But I do think to show the full picture of, and I can do this as well, like trusting the credibility from the previous season while you're creating equity in a new season I think is really important. I do think a woman can have it all, you know she just doesn't always have it all at the same time and those moments where she does have it all at the same time she's so stressed that she doesn't see
Starting point is 00:24:38 because she has it all at the same time. Yes and that was it. I mean I could really try to do all of the things all at once. You know what I mean? I could, but I think that that is the release that I have just given myself of like, I don't want that. I don't want to not sleep. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to always go, go,
Starting point is 00:24:58 go, or be so frustrated or my cup be empty so that I can't. This is what I wanted, You know? This is what I want it. I want it to be. I was a single entrepreneur and I was lonely and I was like, okay, I'm going to put the effort into partnership and eventually I arrived at children. And so it's just reminding myself that this is what I want it and this is where we are right now and this won't be this way forever um and I know you know it's like small kids are hard and so it's just accepted my heart right now
Starting point is 00:25:36 that's what i think it's just yeah while my parents say that of like you know it's it's easier now because you you know, I can contain them and manage them. And then once they start to, it's different, you know, it's just even just a small transition from my son being in a daycare where they send pictures to now I have to rely on him. Tell me what happened. I mean, it's never anything, you know? It's like, it was good. I have to ask questions like, dude, something that you laughed at then, did you almost want to cry? Did you make me funny? Like, give me more. Like, I spent my whole day wondering how you were. Can you give me a little bit more than it was
Starting point is 00:26:15 good? And I'm hungry. That's it. And they're just, they're not, they're not phased. And so, you know, you're right, those transitions, they're tough, but I'm glad I'm here. and so you know you're right those transitions they're tough but I'm glad I'm here. Okay so you said earlier that you feel like you are called to different work now than the work you've done in your past and so I'm wondering outside of raising that family do you also see kind of like your purpose and even your professional skillset moving into a different direction than the work that we've found to receive from you and it's so will you tell us what that is? I think I'm still, I think I'm still sort of learning what that is. I think the big job for me was to release, to release what I knew, you know? I was so resistant to like, I have to do this,
Starting point is 00:27:11 or else I'll die, and it's like, you actually won't. And so I do feel like some of the work that I feel called to, you know, there is the parenting part of what I do, but I had this moment where I was like, you know, I just, when I had my son, if you would have told me that I would have a son that, you know, sort of behaves the way my son does, I just would have bet all my money that that just wouldn't be me, not me. What's that mean? What's that mean? So, you know, my son hits, kicks, I hate you, you know, he does the stuff that I was raised to believe that my kids just that you don't do that and I think the work that I have been you know what I have found out over time is that that is just basic child development and
Starting point is 00:27:58 Our society, you know my son expresses anger and our society does not like anger. You know, anger, no emotion tells us what we need more than anger and tantrums. And so I have had to really raise myself to, you know, I want to maintain my kids' access to their desires. And so some of the things that I share with some of the women and so I do like a private community where I just talk to other women is like, if you want your kid to be the person that asks where the raise or asks for the most money or negotiates or doesn't take no foreign answer they've got to do all of that work with you all of the work and it's not rewarding you know so it's like okay I do all this work with my son and is he gonna come home and thank me and tell me I'm wonderful it's not rewarding, you know, so it's like, okay, I do all this work with my son
Starting point is 00:28:45 And is he gonna come home and thank me and tell me I'm wonderful. It's like no, he's just gonna do more work more I hate you's more, you know, he's got to and so the big Half for me was I Have to co-regulate my child's I Have to co-regulate with him and the way that he learns to self-regulate is by staying calm So when he's carrying on I'm staying calm and Plenty that's a girl. That's a that's a job It is when that's not the wire
Starting point is 00:29:17 He's in your ear The ancestors that's telling you if you don't snet I know all of I'm trying to gentle parent and my daughter is definitely she's a talkbacker. She likes to negotiate and I really do try to create space for her to explore her thoughts and opinions and share them with me into all of her re-guys reaction. But sometimes the ancestors are like, girl, if you don't grab her, you can tell her to sit down. But the thing about it is like kids need to feel powerful. You know what I mean? And so they need access to their power in the home.
Starting point is 00:29:54 And you think about it for almost two decades, somebody's telling you what to do, where to be, hear your clothes, you can buy them, you have no money. And so all of that behavior comes up because they feel powerless. So what do they do? And I'll give it to you. You know? And so that's what we talk about ways to, there are ways to create. So, you know, letting them have, you know, pull out a couple clothes, do you want to choose these things? Do you
Starting point is 00:30:18 want to do the meal so that they, that starts to bring some of that down. But Sarah, I have to spend all my time learning this stuff because my wiring is like you said, like my wiring, my reflex, my first thought is not what I'm doing, you know? And I see, I see the benefit because small story, my son was on, he's doing a little soccer
Starting point is 00:30:44 and they had him on a team with kids that were too young. And because he knows his voice has value, he said to his dad, please go tell them to move me to another team at four years old. Like these, these kids are too small. I need to move. And they moved him. And I'm like, this is because he boxes with me at home. He knows that his voice has value to an adult. So he's not going to let anybody do anything or say anything because I've helped him maintain his voice. And that's not easy. And that teaches them to take up space in a world that is to make them feel small. You don't learn how to take up space.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Like I think sometimes we think, oh, I'm going to like keep you small then when you're 18, you're going to just know how to take up space. It doesn't work like that. You have to be able to take up space your entire life. And that can be, I'm just going to keep it real. It's going to be very embarrassing as a parent, right? Like my son will say, I don't want anybody talking to me. And I, and so sometimes I have to like, I'll say to, we have some company, hey, this guy,
Starting point is 00:31:58 he's kind of not talking today. Just so that he knows, I don't make him, but I had to speak, like my mom just didn't he knows, you know, I don't make him, but I had to speak. My mom just didn't play that, you know? And so trying to find some ways to navigate and be in society and have him learn how to take up space, let him feel powerful, let his voice have value. Yeah, we're not, I think especially in black families, there's not a lot of, there's not a lot of, they's not a lot of, um, they know who prefer that.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Well, you know what's funny is that's true that doesn't happen a lot in our families, but where it does happen, we see them climbing letters and having audacity that we would never have. So maybe that's okay as positioning our children to have that audacity. Yeah. It's easier for some of that audacity. Yeah. It's just to come easier for some over-of-the-shoot. It definitely does. This next generation, they're moving, you know? And it's like whether you look, whether you want it or not, they're moving.
Starting point is 00:32:57 This show was brought to you by BetterHelp. Who am I called to be in this season? That's a question I like to reflect on from time to time. In changing environments, meeting different people, and facing new opportunities, I get to rethink the way I see myself. My husband and I recently had a conversation that honored a new way of being. I really needed to hear that. Since sometimes we don't know who we are or what we want until talking things through, if you're feeling like you need professional support these days, Sometimes we don't know who we are or what we want until talking things through.
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Starting point is 00:34:06 month. That's a better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash evolve. Tell them we sent you. Okay, so I want to know before we go, who is the woman in your life who has the most influence? Who you are in this moment of your life. Oh my gosh, that's a good one The woman who is most influenced who I am would probably be My godmother who was my mom's aunt and My mom was 23 when she had me needed a baby sitter in a pinch and my mom my mom's aunt said I can keep her and she loved me so much that she offered to like basically keep me forever like she babies at me up until I started school and then she became my godmother and she was 60
Starting point is 00:35:03 years old when I was born. So she passed away when I was around 25, but there was just a way that she moved around with such like such confidence. I mean, this woman was so confident, you know, she'd walk in a store and it's like, she had credit cards and she wore jewelry and, you know, she was kind, you know, but she didn't take any mess.
Starting point is 00:35:25 And I just think that modeling for me was like, okay, I want to, I want to live like that. And I want to like retire like that, like fancy, you know, the cat-a-lack, chill. I dug her life for sure. What is one thing that you hope she knows about who she is to you, that led you to seeing. You know, this is so crazy when so she died and then my godfather died, they died like back to back, like within a year. And I get a call one day that they had left me in inheritance, which is like, what? You know, these sorts of things just don't happen to kids like me. So they left me in inheritance and they spread it out
Starting point is 00:36:10 over 10 years. And so from 25 to 35 or 26 to 36, I got money every year. It wasn't a ton, but due to the interest every year, be a little bit more. And I actually, when I started a curl box, I started it with like my second to last check or something or third to last check. And I remember when I got the last one, I was like, I just hope that she knows that like her bet on me
Starting point is 00:36:37 was not in vain. I believe that she saw something in me early and I believe that she never told me that she was going to do something like this for me. And I was just like, I just hope that I have made her proud and that wherever she is, she sees the way that I'm living and it's like it's honest and it's hard and it's pure. And I don't know that I, you know, that small investment in my confidence and capital, like just blew my world up, you know? And so none of this is done on my own, you know? It's because someone like that took a chance
Starting point is 00:37:20 and bent on me in this life and then beyond. So I hope I have made her proud. I'm sure you have not only your honesty and how pure you are, but your fancy too. You're right. Yes. I was right here with my stylish Jason is here and he was talking about like this part aesthetic like the wall paper like he was the best that I've never even noticed. Now he'll go back through just her aesthetic, like the wall paper, like he was messed up. I've never even noticed that. I'm going to go back through your timeline to look at your wallpaper.
Starting point is 00:37:48 But he's like, she just gives what needs to be done. I just have to know that you tapped into the fancy. I tapped into it. Oh, I do. I'm always like, be clear. I do, I do like the fancy and she did too. And I remember at her funeral, her husband said next to me, my godfather. And he was like, he goes, you know, she left you some gold jewelry.
Starting point is 00:38:07 And so I do have to like, remember chains and rings, old school, you know, she wore Chanel perfume. And so I got exposed, you know, to the, to the finer things. I like things. Okay, thank you. Thank you. I like this was. Yes, it was. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you, my lady. This was amazing. Yes, it was. Thank you so much. Thank you. you

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