Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Saved Girl SZN w/ Brittany White

Episode Date: September 29, 2021

Creator of the Saved Girl Summer Manual, Brittany White, is bringing the heat to every season! Sis is kickin' it with SJR & proving that as women, W.E. can be all the things! Boughetto at 'Club Wa...lmart', content in the middle of waiting, balanced while shifting identities, & affirmed as women by our younger selves. Why did SJR put on the whole armor of Iyanla: Fix My Life to read us our rights? Shortly after, Eve tried to drown Brittany's homework, but Mary understood the assignment! This episode explores how to honor your calling & jump into action, so tap-tap-tap-in! Support our partners at Noom.com/Evolve + Try.Scribd.com/Evolve + Rothys.com/Evolve. Tell them W.E. sent you!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 God can't bless you for ten to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a tea you need boundaries. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your validation. All I need is a God party for me that's there all things, all things, all things, child.
Starting point is 00:00:30 So no judgment. This is a safe space, right? You all love me no matter what. I have a confession for you. Okay, breathe in, breathe out. Part of my prayer includes asking God for Megan the stallion's knees. I have not given up I don't care what anyone says about it. I want Meg's knees with my saved girl spirit. That's a my prayer life That's what I want, okay? And you know if you're honest that you want that combo too
Starting point is 00:00:58 If nobody else feels me though, I know my co-host Brittany White does. Brittany White is an OG delegation member. Y'all remember her? She came up with the Save Girls Summer Manual. Well, sis slid through the podcast and graced us with her Save Girls Summer presence. Now, the question is, do you think we cut up or none of the above. Let's listen and find out. Not the originator of the saved girl summer manual. Ew. How are you? How are you?
Starting point is 00:01:37 I am good. How are you? I am doing well. It's nice to finally meet you and not just on my DMs in Instagram. I'm mama. I made it. Yes. Okay. So you had the saved girl brunch. How was it? It was awesome. Like I took a lead and God didn't let me fall like from the food to the activity to the work to the mimosas like everything was good. Oh I love it. When we got that manual we were just like blown away by the work
Starting point is 00:02:21 and creativity you put into it so thank you very much for allowing us to put it on the podcast, but then to also continue to let it grow blossom and touch the lives of women. It's and it's like a whole thing now. Isn't it like a whole thing? Yeah, it's a whole movement. I'm looking to do it year round. I'm gonna bring a little bit of summer to every season. I love it. Where are you from? I am from Virginia. I'm actually in Hampton Roads, Virginia. Okay. One in Wraith. Actually, I'm in County Hall. I didn't really count it as a book. I called it a real DC, but it's not a real DC. But that's in the anal focus area. Came out here from school. What's an old estate? The whole of the Marine and Gold.
Starting point is 00:03:06 And that my husband and I been here enhancing those episodes. You love it. It's okay. It's okay. It's different. I want to do it for my area to be like, she ain't rep but you know, I tell you, but it's okay.
Starting point is 00:03:28 It's definitely I have you know aspirations of getting out of the country, but it's not a nice place to raise kids. Okay, so Brittany, are there any moments when you are in your life day to day where you're just like, you know what? I know better, but I am not about to do better. Like I am making a decision to put on my eave hat. I am not in the mood. I am not feeling it. And if so, when is the last moment? What was the last thing that happened
Starting point is 00:03:56 that made you put on your eave hat? It made me put on my eave hat. Ooh, um, put myself out there. Probably. Okay, so, um, it would probably have to be the other day. If you know, just like in the, um, I am a part of team. Like walk, I love warm work. Okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:04:23 It's my happy place. Okay, well, there's a pause right there. There's a pause right there. Can do you have a target by you? Is there, you just choose Walmart over target? There's a whole, there's division in the delegation over Walmart versus Target. So you must have a nice Walmart.
Starting point is 00:04:41 No, actually it's not. It's not, and it's crazy because my friend just said and she was complaining. She just moves our area and she was complaining about how she hates this Walmart. So to be honest, I am a little boogey, don't let the bundles in to make them not in food. Okay, amen. Walmart is. So. I have a question about Walmart.
Starting point is 00:05:04 It being your happy place. What happens and what does it do for you? Because it's just, it's relaxed. I can get lost in Walmart. It for one is everything. They have everything. So I go in there for one or two items and then I always end up with a shopping cart full of stuff.
Starting point is 00:05:24 But it's just those days because you know I don't go out and get out anymore, you know as a mom and a wife for some days when I get off work You know, it's I had to come home or and I just kind of just walk around And just just picking up stuff that I know I don't need but it's on clearance I mean, I live for a good a sale. And I just end up with a lot of stuff. So now don't get me to say I always I do dress up.
Starting point is 00:05:51 I know where my body, know my vagina pain. So I mean, I'm always dressed appropriately, but I do have a soft. You know what you fix me though, because when you said Walmart has everything, because Target be
Starting point is 00:06:03 trying to act like it's super, but it it's not it's not super. There are some things that are hit or miss at the Target grocery section but Walmart does have everything like it literally does. You got me on that one I can see it now and if you because you have to stop by the store in the way home so you might as well go somewhere where you can walk around and grab something you don't need and then grab the groceries at the same time with a good excuse. It's a good excuse. It's really close. They closed up from when we were kids. So yeah, I need to get
Starting point is 00:06:35 a lot more and Walmart but I was cool. You do. They have up their game but I would say get them back to my last, um, even moment because Walmart, you know, they do have a policy, which they don't have a target when they do, you know, check your receipt. If you have something that's not bad, and there's a lady now that works at the door and most of them don't care, but she's like top light security. So she was stuck. Yeah, she actually checked to make sure you had the item like on there. And I wasn't too, you know, kind of, I was in a brush and I
Starting point is 00:07:11 was like, really, you know, she was doing her job, you know. I love that. That was my last. The people being extra, the top flight security, like, and you want to say, like, I know you're just doing your job, but you are also in my way. I'm not saying you want to go to and see if you see a paper towel with an on my review. It's like, I've heard it and I have to honor her, you know, taking her job seriously. Apologies, Ms. Mayo. If you didn't, Ms. Mayo. Oh, that's good.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Sometimes you can make it up. You can't, and I make that decision sometimes. When I am out sometimes, like places that I frequent often and like I just don't have the hat, how are you in down in my spirit the way that I know that like I could get it to stand out as a Christian and a believer it don't just, it's not there. It's real like, okay, can we get this over with?
Starting point is 00:08:07 But I do try to do better the next time I hate going to the grocery store with my husband because my husband's going to talk to people. He's going to be kind with them. And then I'm like next time I come and I have in my AirPods and I'm not saying anything, they're going to be like, where is your husband? Because you are not giving what needs to be gay. What's wrong with you? Exactly like that.
Starting point is 00:08:27 My dad is the same way. He goes out with us somewhere. He is that type of person to be like, hey, man, how you doing? Like you're, you know, care a whole conversation. I'm like, I'm just trying to get hold of. I completely understand that feeling. I get it. We're all eaves and progress, right?
Starting point is 00:08:46 In process. We're all processing this eaves spirit on out of us. And sometimes we're still working and other times we've mastered it. And I am grateful. I feel like I've mastered it this summer. I've talked about this all the time. We went from having childcare to having no childcare.
Starting point is 00:09:07 I'm used to just once childcare gets there, I can get in my rhythm, I can get dressed, I can do what needs to be done. The kids don't start school yet. I've had to really work with myself on being more patient with them when they're hugging me and I'm late and I need them to get loaded up in the car. So I'm still mastering that, but it feels like I'm getting better.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Have you mastered any of your e-behabers where you're like, I absolutely don't do this anymore. This blinks, whatever blinke is. I used to work through it, but I've come to a place where I've mastered it. whatever blank is. Like I used to work through it, but I've come to a place where I've mastered it. I think, just like the example that you made, I'm definitely a work in progress. And especially like I said with the kids and with my husband and learning to be more patient,
Starting point is 00:10:03 learning to compromise. Like it's one thing that is this COVID, the coronavirus, and it was definitely helped me to sit and have more patient, especially with the kids, because we think about all that we have going on and how hard it is on this. Sometimes I have to say, I'm like, it's hard on them too, you know, being here. So definitely learning to have more patients with the people, you know,
Starting point is 00:10:26 that are in my home. But there's one thing to go out in the world and, you know, laughing, joking, be nice with everybody else, but just to have more patience and to be that same, you know, kind of first have the same energy. Yeah, keep that same energy at home. Okay, so I'm I'm going to give deep for a minute. I have a question for you. So you're talking about being more patient, especially when it comes to like, you know, the husband and the children at home. And I am wondering, how do you feel like you transitioned from, you know, I don't know if you were a single mother and then got married,
Starting point is 00:11:02 or if you were married and then had children, but how did you transition into having a life in which you are obligated to other people while not becoming resentful that being obligated to them may mean losing parts of yourself? Oh, that's a good question because that's something that I've recently, I think I'm still working on that transition because when I met my husband, I was so young, I've been with him for almost 15 years.
Starting point is 00:11:37 So, I'm all the time, like, well, you took all my 20s, I think you took all my 10s here. But, but I love him now, he's my own city vibe. But that transit, like we were married, we had our kids and for a while, this city commuted a little transit, like I did kind of lose myself. I didn't know how to balance being a Brittany and Ready White and Vermiliner Trades, you know mom, so that's something that even in the past few years, I had the kind of, when you say being resentful, I was kind of resentful to her myself.
Starting point is 00:12:11 I had to kind of like, forgive myself because I was blaming myself for like, all these things, like a mixed battle, and I did do because now I have these, you know, people that I have seen were responsible for, and God has really been dealing with me like this, forgive myself, and that you can still be, you know, all the things Now I have these people that I have seen that's the most possible for. God has really been delivered to me like to forgive myself and that you can still be
Starting point is 00:12:28 all seen, you can still be a wife, you can still be a mom, but that's not just who you are the first. There's so much more. I'm learning to find that, that valid. So it's been a journey, like, definitely a journey. It's a bit of a journey, but definitely a journey. I love how carbs can make everything alright.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Need a break, but no time for a vacation? Eat carbs. Celebrating exciting news? Eat carbs. But you know who doesn't love carbs as much as I do, my waistline. For years, giving up carbs has been difficult, but with the help of NUM, my relationship with CARBS has gotten better. NUM uses a psychology-based approach to help us change our mindset for good without demanding
Starting point is 00:13:13 a whole new lifestyle. I like how easy the NUM app is to use and how the program is customized to my personal goals. Join me and start building better habits for healthier long-term results. Sign up for your trial at num.com slash evolved. That's in oom.com slash evolved. Take the stress out of evolving your health and become empowered with num
Starting point is 00:13:39 and their cognitive behavioral approach, focusing on the why instead of the what, as you change your relationship with food. You don't even have to make a drastic change to your lifestyle, and all you need is 10 minutes a day. Start your trial today at noom.com slash evolved. I don't feel like there is enough conversation about women who are married and women who
Starting point is 00:14:06 have children feeling like in the process of building this goal that so many people are aspiring to, that they feel we often feel like we've lost ourself in acquiring this beautiful picture. And you know, I feel like it's a worthy conversation because I already know that they're like women listening right now. And they're saying to themselves, like man, I thought I was the only one or I've been feeling guilty
Starting point is 00:14:38 because I am grateful for my husband. I am grateful for my children. But also I feel like I've lost myself. Like I have no purpose and no identity outside of them. And even envious of single people who have the liberty to do and be whatever they want. And then you guys, single people who are like, I want a husband and I want kids.
Starting point is 00:14:57 And the mayor of women like, Chal, you better enjoy your single time. And me. And I have some of the little stuff of them all, some of them like, girl, live your life while you don't have a husband and don't keep. Like, I make it almost sound like a bad thing. They're like, no, it's not bad. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:15:15 It's not a bad thing. Really, it's not. But it's just so much more when you have to think about, you know, somebody, you have a husband, you have kids. So it definitely makes it a little more difficult, you know, do certain things. And you do have to deal with that guilt of I'm trying to do these things. But you know, am I still being a good mom or still have time for my kids? I'm still being a good wife.
Starting point is 00:15:39 So it's definitely, definitely a problem. I feel like I just, I went through, so when I first got married and moved to California, I feel like I went through years, a few years of just being resentful. Like I didn't have my family around, I didn't feel like I had purpose, like I just felt like I was getting lost and something.
Starting point is 00:16:00 And then I feel like I kind of swung the pendulum in the other direction where I was so fulfilled by what I was doing with my work and my career that I did not, and I was so protective over it that I didn't have any room for compromise, where it was like, no, not gonna do it. And I have to say no, and I have to have boundaries, and I feel like I'm just now finding the middle
Starting point is 00:16:23 of being able to show up for them, but to first show up for myself. And I feel like this is so crazy because it's part of the reason why I changed the podcast is because I still wanted to show up in my purpose, but I didn't want to be absent from my children while doing it. And I couldn't continue to sustain the podcast
Starting point is 00:16:43 in the way that it was and be present for them. And so this way we get to like record multiple so I can have more down days with the family, but that finding the middle ground has helped me so much in realizing that I don't have to choose, that if I am willing to be still enough and sensitive enough to what my purpose needs versus what I want it to be or what I wanted to do, that God will create provision that will allow me to do both. Do you think that women can have it all. I really do. Just like you stated, if you are really walking in your purpose and following the vision that God has to you, he will make provision. He will make you, you know, the resources and give you the necessary things so that
Starting point is 00:17:39 you can be a white and that you can be a mom and you don't have to compromise. That's one of the biggest things that, you know, I want to show them that you can be a mom and you don't have to compromise. But that's one of the biggest things that I want to show them and that you don't have to compromise any part of who you are. You don't have to give it up. And God is just really, He's been showing me that as well in this season that you can still, you don't have to be resentful, you don't have to feel like, you know, I'm this style or I can't do whatever, whatever.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Because I'm married and I have can't do whatever whatever because you know I'm married and I have kids but he's saying you know he's showing me every step of the way that you know I grow like I choose you know I got you and I got your babies and it's funny because now the things that I'm doing that I want to do he's even like my kids I was involved I'm able to involve them so you can definitely, definitely have that all. So my question for you is how do you move from, I'm resentful and moving from resentful to purpose? Like I can move from resentful to purpose
Starting point is 00:18:35 if purpose is the next step. But how do I move from resentful to content, even if purpose is not the next step? Because that to me takes real faith. It doesn't take faith to move from resentful to purpose. It takes faith to move from resentful to content. And that is the kind of faith that God requires all of us to have before we can move into purpose.
Starting point is 00:18:59 And I feel like that's just a message that everyone needs to know is that you may not be able to go from I am resentful, I am angry, I am upset, I am so happy and I'm so thankful that everything worked out. There is this in between walking on water stage where you don't know is sis about to drown and I go back to being bitter and yet God is there with us in those moments teaching us and guiding us how to come to him. But how did you do it? What were your steps? So listen between prayer and therapy being home.
Starting point is 00:19:39 Being home, doing this pandemic, there was a point where the job that I'm working on now, they had put us on for a little. So I was at home and really was nothing with time on my hand. And so I had to kind of make a decision, like, am I going to sit here, just back, or am I going to get to this point, like you said, where I am, since even where guy has me now. where guys may all. So just really praying, growing in my relationship with him, going to therapy, because I'm a big advocate for therapy and working on some of those issues that I had, you know, a full of resentful or angry and the unforgiveness, that helped me to kind of, well, I mean, this middle stage, or call it the wilderness before I got to the promised land to be consent, even in that season.
Starting point is 00:20:32 And knowing that God had a plan for me, even though I didn't know what it was, I couldn't see it. I'm like, okay, let me be consent because I know he has something better for me, bigger than I can ease it. I'm angry. So I found for me when I was going through my resentful season that connection with my husband came difficult. Like we still had our routine. We were still showing up. But like, I didn't, he couldn't ask me for no more than that. Like no more extra beyond that. And it took me some time to be like honest with him about how I was feeling.
Starting point is 00:21:15 Because I didn't want him to feel like I was diminishing what we had or that I was bailing on what we had because we both gone through divorces and one of the hardest things when you go through a divorce is to vocalize something that is affecting you without communicating that you're leaving the person, right? Because there's that underlying fear there.
Starting point is 00:21:37 How did you create and or have you maybe created an environment where you can have that level of transparency and vulnerability with your husband while also like preserving the security of your marriage. So that's something that we actually are working on if getting to that point, we have that communication and that transparency because this would be like completely transparent. Like we're, I call it being a, like we balance each other out,
Starting point is 00:22:15 we work, but I'm more of a talker and he's more of a, you know, I'm that I don't want to talk so much. So learning how to communicate and you know, let him know those feelings, like you said, without dismentation who he is. And that has been a process. And that's another way that, again,
Starting point is 00:22:32 Ferris helped me to even learn how to communicate better. Because I'm a very emotional person. And I just put it all out there and had to learn that if not how he, you know, communicate. So you're going to accept it. You know, the way I mean, I mean, I hear that way, but it's coming out, you know, he hears something completely different. So that's something that we're actually, you know, working on now.
Starting point is 00:22:50 So I know how to communicate and be transparent because sometimes that's hard for me to be transparent. Like I like to keep a lot inside sometimes because you're used to being a strong one or the funny one or whatever, it's hard at some time. Be open so there's something that you know gotta be able to deal with, you know, transparency, especially with, you know, my husband, like, I need to be open with him. But that's a work in progress.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Okay. So you help me because I feel like I would, by no means say that I've mastered it, but I feel like I've become so much better, so much better than I was. It may not be like the best, right? But I'm a lot better than I was. And I feel that many women listening are in marriages, but aren't experiencing the beauty of marriage that everyone has sold
Starting point is 00:23:48 us on because they don't have maybe a safe space yet in their partner or maybe they haven't learned to have a safe space within themselves to invite their partner into. Because I found it so curious that you said, like, you're so emotional and you just kind of like, let everything come out and he doesn't communicate that way. But on the same hand, you also say that you're transparent, that you struggle with being transparent. So a part of me wondered, like, is it like, what's coming out? Is that just noise, but the real issue you haven't yet gotten to or you keep to yourself. And yeah, is that what it is?
Starting point is 00:24:29 Or when you're emotional, are you being transparent in those moments? Oh, I think it's a little bit of both. Sometimes because I do hold for my team, when I finally let it all out, like everything seems to come out. And with us again, working on it because he's so different than I am
Starting point is 00:24:55 in any process of different. So sometimes because he doesn't receive it, I think he should, the network calls me to be like, oh, I think he's that kind of, let me not be so open the next time. I love to mentally escape into a good book. It gets tricky though, when I don't have time to sit and read for hours like I prefer,
Starting point is 00:25:19 or the in-between stage after I finished a great book and I'm ready to dive into a new one. I love that with Scribd, I have instant access to millions of audiobooks and their thoughtfully curated editors' picks. Now I find myself listening to books while I'm exercising cooking or outrunning errands. All for just $9.99 a month with Scribd, I have the world's most fascinating library right in my fingertips. I want you to try it. Right now, script is offering our listeners a free 60-day trial. Go to try.script.com slash evolve for your free trial. That's
Starting point is 00:25:58 try.scribd.com slash evolve to get 60 days of script for free. You can listen to ebooks, audio books, magazines, and so much more from your favorite device. Forbes calls it Netflix for books. Try it out and let them know as they are sent to you. I feel like I'm like learning on the spot while talking to you because the beauty of conversation is that like you can see your scenario and someone else's life and you're like, oh that's why I do the things that I do. Because I'm big on holding it in and then popping off.
Starting point is 00:26:40 And when I pop off, let me pull out my receipts because on October 10th, 1991, when I was three years old. I was a member of the All. And he had me like, I wasn't sure. He's like, I'm not sure that they have it. Oh, trust me and did. I took copious notes. You know, I'll take your word for it, but I don't remember. I'll take your word.
Starting point is 00:27:01 That I'll take your word for it. That I'll take your word for. It sends me to the next level. I'll take your word for it. That I'll take your word for. It sends me to the next level. You will take my word for it because I wrote it down. I want it. I want it. Bring it.
Starting point is 00:27:14 But I wonder, as you were talking, I realized that part of the reason why I hold stuff in is because the thing seems small and comparison to what could be an issue in a marriage, but if it affects me, it's not small. If it's something that I bury and file away for another time, it's not small. And so, Brittany, if you're like me, you have had experiences where your feelings were made to feel small and comparison to what else was happening in your world.
Starting point is 00:27:53 And so now you've got these big feelings that you're trying to shrink into being small and then there comes this moment like a spring where it just all comes out because you've been trying to suppress it for so long. Does that feel like truth to you too or is that just my experience? No, it's definitely true. Like I'm sitting here and then I'm like, oh my god, life. I feel like I'm all, and you know, you're like, you're just in my life. So yeah, I definitely, definitely. But love it, like you get me, yeah,
Starting point is 00:28:27 you hit it, you hit it on the head. Oh, that's definitely true. That's it, like, and I'm only realizing that for myself, even when talking to you, and I'll tell you, like my examples, so, you know, like when I got pregnant, I feel like, you know, like I'm always using it, but that story really affected me. So I so much about what I know about myself and my pain and my trauma comes from that moment. And what I know for sure is that I felt like my pain didn't matter in that moment, that what everyone else was experiencing, what
Starting point is 00:29:03 everyone else felt about it and was going through was more important than me in that moment. So now, in my marriage, when I have an issue, my just knee jerk reaction is that it doesn't matter and compares into what that person feels. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. So I keep it to myself and now my husband is penalized for a pattern he didn't start, but is suffering because of.
Starting point is 00:29:33 And so let me first say, like you can never, I know you say you feel like you're always talking about that story, but you can never tell that story enough. Because it just, yeah, if you don't know how it is, it affects people like it changes by like that story. And from one church girl to another, like, to be able to identify with that, like, never stop telling that story.
Starting point is 00:29:55 But, yeah, I was, I'm the same way, and I think a lot of it has to do with how it was raised with Will, being the oldies, and the only girl, and having some of the responsibility and sitting like he said like other people have stuff going on and they're dealing with many kind of you know push myself under the rub or what I'm going through with not you know it's bad as if they're going through so you know you know you're always hit it but you can't have the words and that And it's not going to be work. So let me just, you know, the finish what I'm going through. So all of that has kind of gotten me to where I am now.
Starting point is 00:30:31 And again, going to therapy kind of working through those feelings that you're learning that my voice and my feelings are valid regardless of whether somebody else doesn't see it that way or they think it's smaller. Does that matter? Like you said, if it matters to me, then it matters. And more importantly, it matters to God. Like most importantly, it matters to God, what you've gone through, what you have experienced.
Starting point is 00:30:56 Yeah, it could be worse, but just because it could be worse, doesn't mean that it's not bad. And if you're still wounded over it, if you're still damaged, if the pain of that is still showing up in the way that you communicate and the way that you connect with others, then we can't ignore the bad even though it could have been worse.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Because God does want to take the bad and help us to see how it can grow into something that is healed and something that you say, okay, I wouldn't have chosen it for myself. I know that God wouldn't have chosen it for me, but while he is using it, if you could go back in time and talk to that girl who had all of those responsibilities
Starting point is 00:31:37 and was handling everything, I don't want to know what you would say to her. I want to know what she would say. If she felt like her feelings were too big to keep inside, if she felt like she had a safe space to let it out, what would she say? You could probably say, I just want to know that I'm doing a good job
Starting point is 00:32:09 to know that I'm doing a bit job that I'm making the people around me proud. I think that was the biggest thing. You just want to make people proud that you don't have to strive for love that I am enough. You know, just being a little girl, that she doesn't even know she would have enough. And how often do you as a woman want to say that or to hear that, to say that, to have your husband or those around you affirm you in that way. Does that happen often? That I need to hear that. Mm-hmm. Um, it does.
Starting point is 00:32:53 It does. Um, you know, especially when, again, as a woman, you wear so many hats, you know, sometimes you just want to hear that. I am a good wife, you know, I am a good mom. I am a good friend. And, you know, you're am a good friend and you know you're doing a good job so easy to think that you're not the one enough like I'm one of those people I'm like I always sit me doing more you know but to hear that you're doing you're doing enough you're doing this fine you're you're good so yeah sometimes I do need to hear that.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Yeah, sometimes I do need to hear that. Well, strong friend, you're doing a good job. You are a good mother and a good wife. And an incredible purpose mate, you are creating spaces for women to bring their authentic selves into the room and to feel seen and loved and valued. You are giving that space that you didn't always have. And I believe if I can give you homework, which you didn't even ask me for in a homework, but if I could give you some, what I would say is,
Starting point is 00:33:56 maybe after today's podcast, you tell your husband that while we were talking, you realize something about the way that you communicate. And it's because you suppress so much, and you've been suppressing so much since you were a little girl that it comes out in sometimes unhealthy ways. It's almost like an emotional tantrum that he's been on the receiving end of.
Starting point is 00:34:18 And you don't have to wait until it happens again to apologize for it happening. And I bet you that that would create space for him to feel trusted and safe emotionally in your heart too, because when you recognize it even outside of something happening, it helps him to see that you're thinking about it
Starting point is 00:34:39 in other moments too. So you and ask me for the homework, but if I had some, that's what I would give you. Okay, okay, I'm standing up on it. I'm going to do it. Okay, now we have an advice question. I'm gonna get that one to do it. No, right, you know, you have to, no, definitely don't.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Like Eve definitely doesn't want to do it. But if one day you wake up and you feel like, I'm feeling like married today, I'm feeling like I could just be with the Holy Spirit, then go on and see what he lays on your heart. I'm feeling like I'm gonna do it. People say, well, what I want is what I need to do. I need people to think, but you know,
Starting point is 00:35:11 this is what you need, like, girls, you're gonna work. I will tell you too, another thing that you should do if you decide to do it, is tell your husband that you need to hear that sometimes. And sometimes I question my abilities, and I question whether or not I'm doing a good job and I need to hear it. And I know you say it, you know, but there's a part of me that really needs to hear it. And so if you could help me take care of my heart in that way, I'd appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Okay. Why'd you duck-lip? Oh, you gave me duck-lips. I'm going to pay the, like, that I need to pay it. Okay, I'm getting off here. I'm getting out your business and back in the mind. Oh, okay. Thank you. Now I'll make a bow. This is now what we signed up for. When I'm out running errands or running behind one of our kids,
Starting point is 00:36:16 the comfort of my Rothies lace-up sneakers have proven themselves to be top tier. Aside from them being breathable and lightweight, I love the neutral color combo they're designed with, making them easy to pair with any outfit. You talk about Jazzy and comfortable. I love my Rothy's slides so much that even before they became a partner, I had already bought a few too many pairs. Now me and Shia are twinsies. Rothy's are also fully machine washable. Remember when you used to put your shoes in the washing machine? It's about to happen
Starting point is 00:36:45 with these. Okay? I mean, can Rothy's get any more clutch than this? Yep, they can. To help you welcome the fall season in style, Rothy's is doing something special for the delegation. That's right, they gave us the chance to share this super rare opportunity with our listeners for a limited time.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Sneakers aren't really your vibe, that's alright. Rothy's also has the best-selling flats and loafers that can pull any office look together. Sustainably made handbags and durable shoes for men and kiddos in your life. Check out their website right now. You can get $20 off your first purchase at RothEase.com slash evolve.
Starting point is 00:37:23 That's R-O-T-H-Y-S dot com slash evolve. Head to RothEase.com slash evolve to find your new favorites today. Your feet will love you for it. Okay, I have an advice question. Here we go. Okay, hello Sarah. My name is...
Starting point is 00:37:46 And we... Her name's not edited out. She put it in there so she wants to say, we'll edit it out because we don't know for sure. And Brittany's going to keep our secret. She's everything's fine. Okay, there it is. She says, I found your I found your preaching
Starting point is 00:38:06 one day of last year and to keep it all the way real, I was about to scroll past it and just hit the message. I was looking for, but something nudged me to listen to yours. I'm like, wow, what a word. I call my grandma up and she's been my rock when it comes to prayer, messages, et cetera. I'm like, I was listening to this girl, Sarah Roberts. And she's like, you know, that's to DJ starter. And she was once pregnant like you as a teen and had a similar story to yours. I'm like, no way. Fast forward.
Starting point is 00:38:30 I got a Facebook reminder. Gotta love those. And it was a post I had put up a snippet of you preaching. I'm like, how did I let this go over my head? I've heard her before. I felt God really led me to you to relate to. Let me know I'll be okay. I was 13 when I got pregnant with my first
Starting point is 00:38:45 born. I was raised in church. My mom was a leader and her husband was a leader. We were there at church at the church day and in day out. First of all, I want to pause and I want to thank you for sending the longest possible. I thank you for giving me all of the details. Okay, those of you who send them two sentences, oh no, make me stumble over my words when I'm reading the details. Okay, those of you who send them two sentences, oh no, make me stumble over my words when I'm reading the question. Make me slow down and breathe and take my time, send me a novel. I want to feel like Maya Angelou's spirit has shown up in your podcast question, make it poetic if you will. Give it humor if you will. Okay, back to the question. Some family, I was raised in church. My mom was a leader and her husband was a leader.
Starting point is 00:39:28 We were there at the church day in and day out. Some family stuff was going on at home and my mom and her husband separated. She started to find herself leaving every weekend from one moment to the next. It was every day at church to hardly going at all. I would go with my grandma to find a stable ground within my unstable life. I met this older guy, got pregnant. I was still attending church because I knew God wanted to feel stable grounding
Starting point is 00:39:53 within him on my life. I was taught that's how to do it. Everyone shunned me, leaders talked about me so much. I wasn't allowed at any of the friends I had grown up with houses, or allowed to hang out with them. I just distanced myself from the church spiral down had another kid by 17 than my last one by 19.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Their fathers and I relationship has been a very rocky journey, but we are both growing. Now I love to rap. Just like you said, you wanted to be the Christian, the humanized. That was all I thought about as well. Fast forward to right now. I'm a stay at home mom and I've been focusing these past two years on a lot of interhealing in my relationship with God. You've been a very huge impact.
Starting point is 00:40:32 I hope to one day be able to impact people's life as well. My question is, when did you take that jump into what you were called to do? When did you officially put the music down and decide to go after preaching? Let me tell you, if you heard me chuckle at the end of that when you said when did you put the music down and decide to go after preaching. Let me tell you, if you heard me chuckle at the end of that, when you said, when did you put the music down? Since it's not down.
Starting point is 00:40:50 I hold the music up everywhere I go. That's it. The music is forever up and I put the music down. I'm an artist, baby. What you talking about? OK, don't do what? No, no. Okay, don't do what? No, no.
Starting point is 00:41:10 You know, I can't even say that I put music down. I really need to tell my stories more accurately, because while I did want to be a female rapper, I had no indication that that would be something possible for my life. Like, none. Britney, the way you're not in your head is so compassionate. I love it. I love it. You know, I'm going to toss this question to Britney because Britney sent me something on Facebook. We talked about a save girl summer on Facebook and then Brittany DMed me.
Starting point is 00:41:48 And then from that DM that was somewhat comical, a joke, birthed a movement that she plans on stepping into. And I want to toss it to her because I want to hear her testimony of how she went from doing what she was doing to stepping into something that is ministry in its own way and unique imprint. And then I'll answer my question about going from rapper to preacher. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:13 So, what was her exact question? Because it was like you see it was a whole. Right, right, right. That's fair. That's fair. I love that. It was good though. And we loved it.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Okay. When did you officially put the music down and decide to go after preaching? When did you so I'm gonna change it for you. Okay, when did you put whatever was down and finally go after the save girl summer brunch like it like a real thing. So, and you know what, it's crazy because, like you said, it started out as a joke, but I'm a farm believer that when God does something, he does nothing by, you know, coincidences,
Starting point is 00:42:58 nothing happens without having a reason. So, when I made the comment and you know made the joke and you were like send them a label and I did it and you read it and it was like okay got like and I'm gonna be completely honest like at first I just I believe it's what I do with it. I was like whatever I'm that white man she's not gonna read it I'm not gonna you know and then when you have mentioned it again but somebody told you, he sent me a manual, and then he was like, okay, they told you,
Starting point is 00:43:29 so I wrote it and I did it. And you read it and God just, he showed me like, this is actually a ministry. This is a vision that I've given you for a reason. You may have thought it was a joke, but this is something vision that I've given you for a reason. You may have thought it was a joke, but this is something that I actually want you to do because growing up I always say it, like I wanted to be the type of woman that I wish I would have seen growing up in the church.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Like I say it all this time, like the just generation is so blessed because they have you, you know, they have the strategic property, we have a, you know, key issue, if we have all these things that are showing you can be, you know, funny, you can be cute, you can be, you know, all the same, forgot, and I didn't see that. But when I was like, okay, I just wanna be, you know, that type of woman, the woman that, you know, listens to, you know, Mary Mary,
Starting point is 00:44:22 but we like a little, you know, car to be here and there, you know, it's about ballet. Yeah, so when he gave me this confusion, but we like a little, you know, car to be here and there. You know, it's about ballet. Yeah. So when he gave me this experience, it's like, okay, God, like this is something that I'm actually going to, I'm going to be serious about it. And in this season, that's really where he has me about being serious, because I'm not going to lie. Like I am the queen of starting out strong and then being like, ah, you know, this thing, what I thought I'd do it.
Starting point is 00:44:47 But this me a consistent within and taking that lead and God has really been providing every step of the way. That's how I know it's a diagetion. Because he's literally been getting provisioned every step of the way, even with the brunch. Like I planned it like a month, and I was so scared to do it, because I look like God,
Starting point is 00:45:09 don't have me out there looking crazy, putting this out here, don't know if I should love or, you know, everything go wrong, and your girl is working on a budget. And I don't have a lot of fun, but she did it early, that you know, from the place to people just throwing in, you know,
Starting point is 00:45:27 their gifts and their talent to make it happen. So, you know, I would say to her, like, if that's how you feel, like, just take that leap. And if it's from God, he'll make the provision, he'll make the way. But yeah, he just definitely confirmed it. Even again, I can't make you enough for even you, like putting that fire behind me. Like that was your way of telling me when you were on the podcast, I girl you. You did good, you know? Yeah, you're enough, so.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Enough and incredibly talented. I think this is a great question because people do wonder like, how do I finally step into it, especially if stepping into next means laying down a previous dream. And what I will say is like, God waste nothing. There is nothing that God waste.
Starting point is 00:46:18 And so even if it feels like stepping into this next dimension, this next dream, this next version of who you are, means that you're sacrificing something. God always comes back, He always comes back around. And when God comes back around, He always picks up the things that we felt like we needed to put down in the process. There is no gift, no talent that God has given you that He doesn't plan on using. But there are some seasons where God is like, you know what, I really need to grow no gift, no talent that God has given you that he doesn't plan on using. But there are some seasons where God is like, you know what? I really need to grow this gift so you got to put this other gift down. And as you put this other gift down, I'm going to grow you in this area.
Starting point is 00:46:54 I'm going to make you more administrative. I'm going to help you be more organized. I'm going to make you better with numbers so that when you do pick up the music, you know how to position the music to be the best that it can be. If God gave it to you, if it's a gift, a talent that God is giving you, God didn't just deposit it so that it could go for nothing, but I want to prophesy, okay,
Starting point is 00:47:15 that that gift is gaining interest, that it is in a savings account that God is going to withdraw from at the precise moment, but for now, it is gaining interest, it is becoming more. It is becoming more valuable, more spaces being made for it to be uplifted and put into the right rooms and the right situations and relationships and opportunities. So don't allow the fact that your gift is not that don't allow the fact that your gift is not being used right
Starting point is 00:47:40 now to make you believe that there is no use for your gift. And if I think we wrap our minds around that, we'll see everything growing and to just change in our life. Brittany, I feel like we just had a save girl summer brunch like, but I don't have any thing to eat. That's a problem. Or you. No, okay. There were no drinks.
Starting point is 00:48:01 No. Okay. And there was no waffles nor chicken. I don't know, so it feels like a saved girl summer something that didn't have food. Thank you for doing this with me. Thank you for having me. My pleasure.
Starting point is 00:48:18 I enjoyed it. Take care of your family. Take care of your heart. And I just know I can't wait to hear more. I know people are going to be following you to figure out when the next branch is. So tell the delegation I said, what up when I send them your way.
Starting point is 00:48:33 I sure will. OK. I'm going to call a gaysicker. Thank you, Brittany. You take care. Thank you, you too. Bye. Bye. All right, you too. Bye.
Starting point is 00:48:53 All right, saved girls is up and is stuck for eternity. What a time to be young and saved. I loved what Brittany was saying about having so much representation for this generation. But I also want you to remember, no matter how much representation is out there, it does not absolve you from needing to take up your space So we need you don't let culture try to trick you out of your salvation by making you think being saved is boring Do it your way make it creative make it relatable Because the gag is life under the blood Is up and it stuck is's lit. All right, Brittany says thank you for taking the lead on the safe girl summer front and Letting us get down with you delegation. I have a question. Who is going to co-host this thing next with me?
Starting point is 00:49:38 Is it you? Is it your bestie? You're listening right now when you like I want to co-host, but I'm way too shy I want to co-host, but I'm way too shy. I want a co-host, but I don't know what I'm gonna say. Let's not worry about it, just sign up and don't bring your dusty personality. Bring something vibrant, make it real, make it interesting, okay? If you're interested in co-hosting an episode with me
Starting point is 00:49:58 or you just want us to get all up in your business and answer an advice question, send us an email podcast at womanevalve.com. I love you and I will see you next week. you

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.