Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Shoot Your Shot w/ Mya Douglas

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

Audacity is at an all-time high & the Saints are here for it! Guest co-host, Mya Douglas, is believing God for her kingdom husband, Youth Anthem Conference 2022, & NEW romance novel! Plus, find out what the bestie SJR is doing this year to target the lingering impacts of trauma. Sis, the idea that your healing is connected to another woman's breakthrough may feel completely out of bounds. But lean in & learn how to pivot! Mya coached listeners toward being obedient to God and becoming disconnected from the outcome. Issa wig-splittin’ moment for the girls! Email [e-mail] to be featured as a guest co-host or to ask ya girl SJR for advice! Then score some freebies at HelloFresh.com/WomanEvolve16 + Headspace.com/WomanEvolve + Skillshare.com/Evolve.

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a tea you need boundaries. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God party for me that's there all things, all things, all things. Child.

Okay ladies, now let's get information. Okay, like who else is singing with me? Now let's get information. Okay, prove to me you got some call of the nation. It's 2022 and we in this thing. How you feeling? Okay, I am on day 17 of the 75 hard challenge and chow. They definitely gave it the right name because it is a

challenge. I can tell you though for real. I am enjoying doing something that is for myself that is making me better this morning. I looked in the mirror and I said wow you are really allowing your actions to line up with the type of woman you say you wanna be. And that's been a beautiful journey for me. If you still waiting for your 2022 motivation to kick in, just remind yourself of the woman you wanna be, the steps to get there may be challenging,

but says guess what, you got this. Okay, that requires some type of intimacy, some revolutionary intimacy, if you ask me. Shout out to the folks that decided to ease their way into the new year though, I understand that take your time but make sure you don't get left behind. Okay listen so I'm excited about today's co-host. If no woman left behind was a person it would be my girl Maya Douglas. She is that girl. She is making it her mission to help women tap into bravery and we love a

brave woman. She even got brave on this podcast and told me her business. Ryder Maya, what's up, friend? Let's get this going. Hey, girl. Hey, what's up, girl? How are you? I'm good.

How are you? Excellent. I'm a good lady. Hey! That's Ryder Maya. that's a writer, Maya. That's how I know her. Yes, that is indeed her. How are you?

I'm doing great. Thank you. How's your new year? It's going well, my mom just got over COVID praised the Lord. And that was a big thing for me. Because she's back home in Philly and I'm in Atlanta. And I couldn't get to her, but she's good. Thank God for brothers. That is amazing. I'm good. I don't do nothing else. Come on now is your time to stand up. How many brothers do you have? It's just me and my brother

one, my mom's side and then my dad I have three sisters and a little two sisters and a little brother. Is there a full family to pull from. Well, it's different because we have different fathers, but I do, in some ways, yeah, I do have a full family to pull from. So, yeah, that's me. Well, thank you for doing this with me. I know we're gonna have a good time

because I see all of your tweets. So, this is gonna be fun. We're just gonna have girl talk, get to know one another, see what you're dreaming and hoping and all of those things. Yeah. I'm excited. That's gonna be fun.

Let's do it. Let's do it. 2022 is off to the races ladies and fellas, because I know the fellas be chiming in. And I am here today with Maya. Maya, can you tell me like, do you have a 2022 goal? Like what are you leaning into, pressing into believing God for manifesting?

What's going on for you in 2022? Yes, ma'am. So I actually, in the fasting right now, I'm doing the day of face and day work and I said, God, when I'm done, into the month, I once, my kingdom has been, that's a goal. But more, I'm more excited about this youth conference. I'm doing back home in Philly and at my alma mater at Stanford University in a two day conference. And I'm just so am to take back the city for Christ. I mean, you see, and I'm sure you've heard what's going on

in the city. We're losing kids to murder, even with the fire that happened in Philadelphia. It was just heartbreaking. So this is a big deal for me. And then lastly, I'm putting out my next romance novel. So I'm ready. Come ready. Okay, you guys, you got things popping. Is this your first time hosting an event?

This is not. So the first time, I just have to say, thank you so much, Paces are for being obedient because sitting under one LA 2018 to 2019. I remember guys saying, you know, when I send you back home, you're going to birth your own ministry. And I say you under this to see that you can do it with style and do it with transparency. And so this is my first one was girls anthem 2019 and I

hosted 20 young ladies Chick-fil-A spot today. Come on Chick-fil-A and it was so amazing. So this will be the second one but it will be co-ed and it's like I'm expecting 400 so it's just so different from just 20. So I'm excited. Okay so how did you go from you know I feel like I should maybe be starting a ministry something that's geared towards helping people To identifying specifically like I wanted to be for young people like is there a connection between your own life and your own journey? And why you feel so passionate about what you're doing now? Yeah, I so my love of writing was Young Adult Writing. And writing Young Adult, I would write these stories

like about young girls and single parent homes and young guys who felt like they were missed it and they didn't have any placement in life. And so I just said, when I was featured on Good Day Philadelphia on Fox, I remember her asked me this question because I had the conference. And I just said, I this question because I had the conference and I just said I want to be What I wish I wish I would have seen when I was young in church Hmm, and I think so many young people are crying out for God yet. They're not looking for God the way our grandparents

Shubby down our throes or our parents They're looking for him in a fresh new way and so yeah, I'm passionate as someone who was touched that for, I'm passionate about seeing the young lady who was molested, like, break free from that. So, yeah, it definitely ties to my own life and just wishing that we had amazing youth ministries when I was young growing up at Philly, but it's still like just this disconnect. I feel like now there's like everything for kids

and the married couples. And there's somewhere between our kids are kind of getting lost in the shuffle Thank you so much for sharing about your story and your journey when I think about the new year I think about all of the women who are making a commitment to say you know what? I really want to learn more about myself. I really want to unravel some of my own pain and trauma I found an amazing trauma therapist for myself because I'm at a stage in my life. I'm like, I wanna understand how my series of traumas are showing up in my life

and that feels so powerful and empowering. How did you go from whoever we become when we experienced trauma, right? You mentioned that you got molested to transitioning into something that is transformational for other people because so many of us, we just get stuck in the pain and the shame and the frustration that the idea that it could be used

to help someone feels completely out of bounds and yet you've been able to make this pivot. How did you do that? Yeah. You know it's so fun you talk about therapy because shout out to better hope. I'm not trying to plug them because I know you already. That's right.

That's why I remember. I remember in 2020, a granite I was essential. So I was a banker. My mother and I were both a central. I was still living in Philly and I remember I was going through something with my agent, my living area agent. I was hoping to put out my first little great book. And we just cannot see eye to eye.

And so when I got the email, it was like, you know, if you don't get this dress right, we're going to have the part ways. I said, so let's just part ways. OK, good. You're not going to just boot me out. I'm just going to leave because I heard the Holy Spirit say, just walk away. And in that, he was like, go to therapy because your husband is coming.

And I need for you to heal this wound. And so I was like, well, you know, it was actually a young lady who touched me and she, you know, she didn't know any better. She was a kid, you know. So what I asked her, I was like, God, I thought I forgave her. What's the big deal?

He said, you did, but you didn't heal the wound. And so you can't, the ministry had already had its first event. You can't go any further. You'll start bleeding when everyone that you pray for, if you don't tap into that. And so I went to therapy and I walked through those things and tried to understand why was it that, you know, my mother didn't come rescue me.

And why was it that I had these different layers? And then when I was able to understand the generational bondage of people saying, what goes on in this house stays in this house and understanding that I didn't need to be upset. I just needed to break through from it. I applied therapy Joyce Meyer, Hill and the soul of a woman. Oh my goodness, when I tell you anyone who was going through healing, let guy

heal you the way he wants. Do not assume it's going to be just therapy. I would listen to that audio book at night and cry myself to sleep. And God was like, I'm healing you in your tears. Don't even worry about it. And so that was the first step. I made the pivot because I wanted to make sure that these young girls that I wouldn't bleed on them

in the process of healing for my own wounds. If you're anything like me, then it gives you great joy to tell your kids we have food at home when they ask if they can eat out at their favorite restaurant. Peaceful plot twist. I always mention that it's going to be a Hello Fresh Night. America's number one meal kit saves the evening and saves me some coins. Hello Fresh is 72% cheaper than a restaurant meal of the same quality.

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If you haven't already, go to hello freshresh.com slash Woman Evolved 16 and use code Woman Evolved 16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts. Man, that is so powerful. The intentionality that goes into healing. There are so many of us who end up feeling like I can't afford to heal, right? Like my life is barely hanging on by a thread as it is. And if I open up this trauma, if I open up the past, I'm afraid of what I will confront in the process. And what I hear you saying and what I feel like other women need to understand is that at the end of the day, that all you can do is find more parts of yourself to love, more parts of yourself to embrace so that you can show up more fully in your life.

And that's one of the things that I felt like I've been working on it with my own therapist is I just want to show up in my life fully. I don't want to be afraid that I can't handle another heartbreak. I don't want to be afraid that I can't handle failure all because I've got all of these things crammed in the closet. Instead, I want to trust that I'm brave enough, resilient enough, vulnerable enough, humble enough to live and not just survive. And so many of us in 2022 are making it our mission

to say, you know what, I want to survive. I don't want to just show, I want to do more than survive. I want to thrive and I want to show up as all of who I am. Can you remember a moment where you felt like, you know what, I'm showing up differently. I'm showing up more confidently, more courageously than I have in the past. And I know it's because of the work I've been doing.

Yeah, I think with this, a perfect example when God called me back to Christian Moments, I was like, I'm done. God, I wrote 14 books. I ain't a millionaire yet. What are we doing this for? I'm over it. And so writing storms of love, I remember like being fearful because I didn't understand what the Lord was doing. And I remember him saying, all of your other romance novels, yes, you wrote them, but you weren't the one that you are now. You're healed. And so I decided like, I'm going to show up to this computer every day and not worry about the publishing process. And I remember he's

talking about that with like one of the whole. I can't worry about who's going to buy it, who's going to see it. And whether it's going to be a bestseller or not, I am concerned about what that is doing through me through this book. And so I was show up every day for a whole month and just pound away at the Keens and the fact that I wrote it in a month is just amazing. But pound away at the Keens and say, God, I am a different woman. And so even if you're just showing me that even the way I'm writing on these pages reveals how healed I am because what I wrote before, it wasn't like it was a negative romance novel, but there was so many different layers of pain versus now this full woman,

you know, Ellie, my character and this guy, Jeremiah, coming together and they are healed and God is able to, you know, present them to each other, which is what I believe he's been doing in my life. And I think one other thing I would say is that, you know, women from Philly are known to be aggressive, which I just put up for the research. I don't receive that. I have to spare the gentleman's as Justice Judge Galician's 520s said, but it was different for me when the Lord told me to plant the seed with the man that I believe is my husband.

And I was like, God, I don't want to do this this way. Wait, we know him already. You know the man. I know what to do. You know I don't love him. And like, literally guys crazy, like amazing. How it came to me in the text. And he was like, I want you to watch this YouTube video.

He was like, that's him. And I was like, really? I was like, it's YouTube God, this is crazy. And he was like trust me. And when I tell you like since September 2020, I have had dreams, confirmations. We, it's been crazy. But the way I presented myself, I'm so used to,

you know, and Philly, we just do what we gotta do. I go up to a guy and be like, you cute, you my man, what's up? And so, this time, energy, energy, it's time to play games, yeah. You'll be long to me. Yeah, but in this season, God was like, if you can be intentional and show up, they're finally entrusting me that if you plant that seed

and you send that message, I'll have them for soon when it's time. And so I think those were two examples just this year alone where I just had to show up there. Fully, I had to release the outcomes of God. Like I couldn't be upset that he didn't respond right away. I was like, no, he's doing what I told him. Pray, fast about it.

Don't respond until God tells you. So you told the man, he, your man. No, I ain't say those words. What do you say? I don't think women should ever say that. I don't think women should ever say that. Okay. Hold on, hold on.

I want to, okay. I want to hear what you said. But why do you say women should never say that? Because I believe that even if God told you, a man is your husband, you have to wait for God to reveal it to him. And I think that in that you're showing God that you trust him to reveal it to him. That I think that in that you're showing God that you trust him to reveal it to him,

that his heart will be so tethered to God's heart that he won't miss it. And so we can't get in front of God and say that, but I do believe in kind of like you do with P2, you take me to dinner. You know, I believe that you can present yourself as Ruth did in Room 3. She presented herself.

And so for me, I just said, yeah, so, yeah, women don't do that, please, because it gets scare of man all because he, you want him to choose you. That's the power. Let him choose you. Sarah is all up in my world. She is. It's okay. It's okay. So I simply said, you know, hi, we had a few casual, you know, conversations, be in the event of past. you know, conversations, the enthusiasm and the past. And I just really feel strongly, you're attractive, but your pursuit of purpose is more attractive. And so, if what you feel in your spirit is similar to me,

I think you respond favorably. And I would love to get to know you offline, but please pray about it. Here's my number with Kingdom of and I signed off. You better. Yes, I better. Amen. One thing that's important to me is genuinely checking in with those that I love.

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Try it out for yourself and get out of that blood and get into some chow at headspace.com slash woman evolve. Okay, so you sent it, but you're also walking through the process of disconnecting from the outcome. Like you're just being obedient to what you're supposed to say and leaving it out there. How do you do that without feeling like pressure, internal pressure?

You know what I mean? Because I think a lot of women are like, okay, I'll take this leap of faith, I'll do something like that. But at the end of the day, they do want their response. They don't want to feel rejected. And so how do you navigate this?

Like ups and downs, ebbs and flows. Or do you have a place that you're anchoring yourself in? So I remember when I sensed it, and I had like a little bit of a, it was November 28, 2020, and I had like a little bit of two. And the Lord was like, oh, it was funny. You feel some kind of way because you're used to guys sweating you. That's what you're used to. You know, I grew up where I couldn't even,

I have, say right, I have four different bus stops I got off in high school. Because I knew which guys would be on what corner. I knew who was going to be out. And so I was sweating, you know? And so God is like, you're used to that. And so it took you three months to send a message. So, you can't get home a couple of weeks. It was like the second week and I was hurt.

And then, I remember, just, I kept throwing it back the guy like, oh well, no response to me, he's no, you know, we get tough, no response to me, he's no. No response is a response, you know. And then, eventually, the Lord said, why don't you just do what I tell you and just keep praying for him. Show me that you realize it. And even as I'm assigned to Hollywood, you know, I've written scripts and I've submitted scripts and God is like, what

do you do? You don't hover over the seed. You release it. I know writers who took them three years before a film came out and they submitted their scripts. So the Lord was just preparing my heart and saying, this is what it looks like to stand for your marriage. When you get in it, you'll be standing and praying for a long time for something to, you know, really, like come off of your marriage. So I will admit that first like six months,

I was really like not anxious, but I was like frustrated. And then I just leaned into it. And then when he had my girlfriend from firm, I was like, okay, you out here talking about him to other people. And now you got me really wondering, what is up with this guy? Why him? And so I will admit that it was rough in the beginning,

but I found myself in the place of saying, you mind your business. Don't worry about a peace praying for you. You just do what God told you to do because you're showing us something about this in the process and think about how he will feel when you guys finally connect to know that she didn't just randomly choose me on Instagram. The Lord sent me her in a text and then she just so happened to decide to send the DM. So it's rough. It is rough because it's been since I sent that date November 2020, it's been a minute.

And for some women, you would get discouraged and think that you were wrong. But I say that the pursuit is in God's hands and the timing of it is in God's hands, not mine. So are you, can you date other people while you wait? I'm asking for a friend. No, no. Because see, oh my gosh, it is funny,

because that's going to be my question for you at the end, is that I believe in creating a safe space for a man before he arrives. And one of the things I've even been doing as someone who went to Stanford University, I had a lot of male friends. I have been, like, I have not communicated with many men over the last year,

because I believe you prepare for for they show up. And as women we always want a guy to create a safe space for us, but what are we doing to create that space for them? So I'm not dating anyone, even some of my homies. I'm like, yo, bro, I love you, but from over there because I can't keep covering you when I need to save all this energy

for the man of God that's for me, you know what I'm saying? So I don't believe you should, I believe you should wait for you guys to. Okay, but what was your last name since we ended now? I want to know because I don't want you to forget. I don't know, I have it, but I was going to ask you like, it's two questions, but how do you create it? How did you create a safe space for PT? And so, Okay. Is that okay? Don't want to answer it now? Now that you told me, I'm like, wow, that feels like a moment.

I was not... God didn't tell me my husband was coming. But I wasn't like preparing for someone to come into my life when I first met my husband. And I felt like once I knew my husband, I wasn't talking to other people, but people had my number. You know what I mean? I went actively in any situations, but people was checking in on me.

So once it became evident that we were going to be together and really pursue a relationship, I had to build a safe space based off of me knowing him and not assuming what would be a safe space for him because what makes a safe space be a safe space for him because what makes a safe space a safe space in a relationship is really dictated by where your areas of vulnerability trauma and securities are. So what makes you feel safe in one relationship may not make you feel safe in another relationship because when

those two people come together anything could happen and so I think that it came through sensitivity. It came through really getting to know him, understanding not just why he did certain things, but like literally how he came to a place where he made that decision on the why. Because a lot of times we see why people are that we see what people do, but we don't see why they do it. And when you understand the why, it helps you to create a safe space so that they never are triggered in that way again. Relationships are a commitment to protecting the spaces where a person has been triggered, traumatized, made to be insecure, and saying that as I do life with you, I'm not going to just step all over the places that have made you hard and rocky

and insecure. I'm going to protect them while you do the work of healing them, right? Because I don't necessarily want them to stay there either. And so I think you're doing yourself an incredible favor by understanding your own triggers and your own trauma so that when you do meet your person, you're able to introduce them to every part of you and grant them access to the places that are still undone and uncovered. Does that make you fearful though that level of vulnerability?

Do you feel like you're ready for that? Yeah, I think that I've always been a very transparent, always been an open book and even in maybe previous dating situations, some would say I was too open, like with a guy being too vulnerable because they couldn't handle it safely. And so I would be really unfair to then clam up

with the man who is the science to me when I've been so loose with the other people. And so for me, I'm not afraid of it, but the only thing that I'm a little afraid of is because I am so tough, I grew up having to be tough. And the Lord has worked on that, that would scare him off. And I just remember guys saying, he's able to handle all of who you are.

So vulnerability doesn't scare me as much as my strength does sometimes. Oh, that's a word though. That's something that a lot of women, you know, wonder, like can my strength show up in this relationship? Or am I going to have to pretend to be someone that is foreign to me? But I wonder, this is, we're going to like,

kind of go back and forth, because I wonder if your strength is rooted in trauma, or if your strength is rooted in survival, can you trust your own strength? Like, you know what I mean? That's good. Yeah, should we be dismantling this, I had to survive strength

or trying to protect it in a relationship when it maybe shouldn't exist in the first place, like just because my parents weren't able to do this or just because I grew up in this city and I had to become strong, doesn't mean that I necessarily should stay in that shape and form and then make other people adjust to it.

Is my work dismantling that strength? To me, that's real vulnerability. It's saying, this is what it's protected me. This is what has covered me. This is what made me feel safe. This is what allowed me to be successful. And yet vulnerability is saying, I'm willing to shed this skin and be someone

I've never had the opportunity to be because I feel like I can rest safely in your arms. Yes, tested. Yes, that's what it is. I agree with that. I think the strength that I had growing up and having to protect myself and shield myself from certain things and you know, dodging bullets and I mean that literally where I grew up in North Philly and just film like not only was there like this I had to be my own physical protector and I haven't my father in the home. But also having to be like my own just emotional protector. And I think to your point, with the lawyers done

with me over the last six or seven years, has really refined me to be able to understand that that strength is OK, but it just needs to be projected in the right way. So for example, I had the pleasure of being on a live with your future wifey podcast. I don't know if you've ever heard of that podcast, but I had the pleasure of being on the live.

And he was talking about that. He was like, is your strength based in masculinity? Or is it just like a different type of strength? And I was like, wow, I think before it was based in masculinity, and I think I was trying to be like hard and tough. And then now I think it has come to a place where I know how to get aggressive in my prayer closet

with the enemy. I don't need to be aggressive with those that guy has placed in my life. And so now I feel like my strength is a beautiful strength. It's the strength of a woman who has overcome so many things and so much adversity. And it could be appreciated. And I think for women who have that question,

that is like you said about our vulnerability of figuring out where it fits. It's to just remember that your strength doesn't have to be a weapon. And it can just be something that is beautiful. Most men are intimidated by strong women, but the right man for you won't be intimidated about it. I believe he'll find the way to create a safe space for it. So you don't even have to be strong anymore or ash strong. So he doesn't take away your strength, but you know what I mean? It's just like, you don't have to be strong,

you don't have to be a simple woman anymore. I wish, like, I'm the analogy queen because I have these thoughts in my head that I need an analogy in order for me to fully understand, but as you're speaking, I just feel like strength is a part of your DNA. How that strength has been forced to come out of you has a lot to do with the

circumstance and environment that you were placed in. But you don't have to force it to be a part of your identity because it's already there. And so whenever you feel yourself telling yourself, I need to be strong, you're already out of bounds because strength is already a part of you. When you say I need to be strong, what you're doing is you're adding weight onto a strength that is already there. And I wish that I could like express it the way that I can hear it. But you always say when you preach it,

I wish I could say this the way I feel it. No, since we feel you, when you say it. Because it's, I mean, you are strong, you are beautiful. You are healed, you are hold. And when you say I need to pretend, or I need hold. And when you say, I need to pretend or I need to step into this extra layer. I need to be more beautiful. I need to be more powerful.

I need to be more confident. You're stepping outside of who you already are. You've got to come to a place where you can trust authentically that the areas where I am strong are going to shine naturally. I'm not going to have to force it. I'm not going to have to project it. And the areas where I'm still growing are going to shine as well. And I'm not going to have to force it. I'm not going to have to project it. And the areas where I'm still growing are going to shine as well.

And I'm not going to allow that to change my worth and to change my value. I can tell you, having an incredible husband now and being in previous relationships where I feel like I'm going to have to be strong and to survive this, that my husband tells me I'm strong when I'm just being who I am. I'm not doing anything to try to be strong

because that strength just shows up. And so trust that the strength that is in you is gonna come out of you without you forcing it to come out. And then that way we won't end up depleted, right? Because we end up depleted because we had to push something outside of us. But if we just show up in the world authentically, I'm strong when it comes to this.

I'm still growing when it comes to that. It gives us more room to just breathe and be. and that's what it means to be a woman evolving. Yes, you've got to preach so sis, our friends at Skillshare are so committed to us learning something new every day that they're sponsoring this episode and they're giving us a one month free trial on Skillshare.com slash evolved. I've been in a season of increasing my productivity without burning out or having to sacrifice other areas of my life like family time or me time. I've been eyeing two productivity skillshare classes that I know will help me accomplish this goal. Real productivity,

how to build habits that stick and email productivity, works smarter with your inbox because, oh, that inbox is stressing me out. Explore your creativity on skillshare.com slash evolve and get a month free trial. Let's answer our advice question. And it's going to be good one because I know you helped the girls get their life together. Yes, ma'am. Hello, Pastor Sarah. I first read Lost and Found, then woman evolved. The former brought me to a realization of my weak points in relation to your story, while

the latter has taught me on evolving from the mistakes and weakness. My question is when and how do you get people, especially family, to see the person you are evolving into? Also, there's a thin line between a hurting child and a rebellious one. How do you spot the difference? Oh goodness.

I don't think that there is a difference between a hurting child and a rebellious child. I think that a child that is lashing out against the rules in their parents household, they're trying to express emotions and feelings that they can't fully comprehend. And I think to better understand them is to ask them like, why do you feel the need to continue to seek this type of freedom? why do you feel the need to continue to seek this type of freedom? Why do you need to fit in so badly with this crowd that you're willing to reject your family?

What is going on inside of you where you feel validated by the things that you are doing, even if you know on the inside that these things are contrary to who you are becoming? And so I would say that that line is actually so thin that it may not exist at all that at the end of the day, I think you got to be willing to ask some tough maybe emotional work questions with your children to figure out exactly how you can better pray and guide them and lead them. Then we'll say one thing, one thing I'm gonna turn over to my it. It is not your job to make sure that other people see the way that you are growing. Your job is to stay in flatfooted in your growth and allow time and

consistency to show you who can afford to be connected to your life and who must be subtracted so that you can continue to flourish. But it is not your job nor should it become your mission to say, look, look, I grew up here. Look, I'm maturing there. Look, I made a better decision there or you are only changing so that other people can validate you. Real change, real transformation is because there's something on the inside of you that says, I want to grow, I want to become better, I want to stretch.

And that is the only affirmation and validation that you need to have is that I am leaning in to the direction of who I know God is calling me to be. Anything other than that is a performance and what we don't have is time for that. It's time for me. Amen. What do you think, man? I agree.

As I was studying Joseph the other day, I thought about it. Like, you know, God pulled him away from his family. Well, he didn't pull him away. They sold him. But he ended up transforming. And they said that his brothers didn't even recognize him when he started handing out food in Egypt. That's how I look at it.

The Lord moved me away from my family at the age of 27 for the first time. And I started to feel like, man, God, how come when I have events or I have stuff, my family doesn't show up and they don't get to see this woman of God that you created me to be. And God said because it's not their job to see it, you just have to be it. And maybe at some point, like Joseph, I'll send you back to save your family.

And so I think for, to pass this there is point is you do have to understand that your journey of evolving is only for you. It is not for you to get them to see it. You don't need a judge and a jury to watch it and to see what you're doing. And in fact, most of our family members can't really handle the magnitude of who we are. And I think sometimes that's okay.

I think we're supposed to be more concerned with the people that guy has assigned to our anointing because we're growing for him, but we're also growing for the assignment that guy has assigned to our anointing because we're growing for him, but we're also growing for the assignment that guy has for us. So I would encourage you not to worry about what they say or how they feel. Now, I know the journey can be lonely,

and that's kind of what I read in that question. It's getting lonely out here, not having my family support this role, but this is it like a college graduation. You know, where it's something like you really want your family to be at. You have to remember that sometimes the best growing is in the dark, when the seed is in the soil and nothing can mess with it and I can keep watering it and putting sun on it and then you can evolve and then you can go out and then eventually as there is a you'll attract the family members that are supposed to be in your life and those who are not. Because at the end of the day,

even when you're being a very person, the ones who are not supposed to see in your life and those who are not. Because at the end of the day, even when you're being a very person, the ones who are not supposed to see it, they won't see it. You know, God has to put you around people who can see you right. And there's some people that no matter how clean you are, they will still call you dirty. Mm, that is so good. I have what you said about the loneliness that comes on the journey of transformation. I think

cannot just be overstated enough. And I think that we also have to give ourselves permission to have friends for different parts of who we are. So one of my friends may help me with fashion. Another friend may be my fitness friend. Another friend is my prayer warrior. My family, I can go home and I can do all types of things. I don't have to do anything but be myself and who they know as a little girl and a young adult woman and a woman now.

Like I can show up in all of those different versions of myself. And your family may only be able to hold a certain version of who you are. That's okay. They don't have to be able to hold everything. You have to be willing to say, I'm being fed from different sources, but I'm still being fed. And so maybe you do need to get plugged into a community where you feel like they help fuel my faith. And another community keeps me on this diet and another community helps me to keep showing up and slaying these edges. Okay, but yeah, I have in different people in your life. I'm grateful that you are in my life. This was an amazing conversation. I know it's gonna help so many people.

Yeah, I'm excited. You definitely pivoted. We, I wasn't, I think, I thought I was gonna talk about my business. Yeah, I can talk about my husband. We talked about your business. That's your business. That's your business. That is your business.

It is. But I mean, the business where I make money. But if this was me, he gonna see this or something. This was not what I thought we were talking about. So that is nothing but guys. Hey man, all right. Would you listen and check your DMs, all right? Yes, please go back.

Thank you, Maya. Hope you have a great day. Thanks. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye. Maya, thanks for co-hosting with me, friend. Thank you for letting me get in your business.

Thank you for sharing with me about your life, your journey, the work that you're doing, and the courage that you are using to show up in life fully in every single way. Keep doing the amazing work that you're doing through your business, girls, and them. You're indeed shaking up the earth. I know there are a few more earth shakers listening that I would love to co-host with. So send me an email at podcast at woman evolve.com. You can also drop us a line or two at the same email address if you want me to be all in your business and you have an advice question.

Listen, I love y'all. I can't wait to check in with you. Pray for me. I hope I'm on be on day 25 when you talk to me next, but who knows? Peace out. you