Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Strategy of Discernment w/ Milan Harris

Episode Date: April 27, 2022

When it came to making her dreams a reality, Milan Harris understood the assignment! Sooo, what God-given strategy did she dabble in to become the founder & CEO of a luxury streetwear brand? Chiiillleee, the gift of discernment! You see…knowing every role in the business is one thing but being sensitive to divine instruction—bing bong! As a faith & fashion trendsetter, Milan shares with SJR & the Delegation her process of bringing ideas to fruition. Sit tight for testimony-time in the sanctuary, followed by an advice segment you don’t wanna miss! Sis, hit up Shop.MilanoDiRouge.com ‘cause W.E. heard they got drip for sale + social network with the girls @WomanaireClub or @MamanaireClub! This episode is brought to you by Noom & ShipStation.

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a tea you need boundaries. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your validation. All I need is a God party for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Try. One thing I love about the delegation and woman evolve is the fact that we dare to challenge ourselves to live without limitations. Okay, so we make it nervous doing this, but we ease our way into where God is calling us. But I love when you all share how you're putting action behind your faith. I think that's also one of the things that drew me to Milano D. Rooge's brand and social media presence. Her name is actually Milan, but her go get it attitude coupled with the belief that God has her back is the reason why we are familiar with Milano D. Rouge. If you're not familiar with Milano, one, I'm happy to

make an introduction because you are going to find this episode so helpful and impactful. And two, by the end of this episode, I think you'll be following her on all of the socials. Let's get into it, shall we? all of the socials, let's get into it, shall we? Hey, gorgeous. Hi, honey. How are you? I'm good. How are you?

I'm doing great. Thank you so much for doing this. I'm sorry we had to reschedule last time. No problem. I'm looking forward to this. I know we've interacted on Instagram, but I feel like I get a chance to get to know you and I know, of course, our listeners will too, but I'm just looking forward to a time with you. Yes, I am too. I'm so excited. Okay, Ms. Milan, let me tell you

something. You are out here doing big girl things on this here Instagram. I love following you. I love seeing the work that you do. And I cannot help but recognize

how much strategy goes into how you put your hands on your body. And I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm I love following you. I love seeing the work that you do. And I cannot help but recognize how much strategy goes into how you present your work and your brand

and how you share on the platform in general. So I wanna ask you, what do you know about strategy now that you didn't know when you first started building your life and your brand? you didn't know when you first started building your life and your brand? I feel like I normally just do what's natural to me, you know? I feel like I don't wanna be controlled and I don't wanna, I'm so organic with my content, you know?

And I really authentic to myself and my brand. And I think people really dig that. Especially now, like people want authenticity. Yeah. Did you? I people who want authenticity. Yeah. Did you? I think that's the best strategy. Yeah, I love that. I feel like that's part of the reason

why so many people kind of gravitate to see me. Like I wasn't trying to like do anything to like gain a platform. Like I didn't have growth strategy for your social media or marketing for your social media. I was just out here sharing the lessons that I was learning as I was learning them.

And I think I felt a responsibility to really be intentional about the platform. Once I realized it was a platform, but I kind of figured it out like afterwards. Like when was the moment where you realized you know what like this is something that is bigger than me? Like I'm really resonating with women, especially mothers, because I know you do a lot of work with mothers.

And when did you decide that this is something that I can really begin to change the world with? At the age of 23. It was the, I say song I was here. Yeah. And that song, it meant so much to me. It was my 23rd birthday. And I was like, I don't wanna just exist.

I don't wanna make the world a better place because I'm in it. And literally, I just started to align my steps. And during that time, I wasn't the most positive person either. Like I would get in fights. I was like, I'm gonna be on girl from the hood. So I was just figuring my stuff out.

But when I created Milano Divuge, and I was at the age of 23, I had set big shoes for Milano so that I can grow into them. So I changed my way of thinking and it changed my life. So I was like, I no longer want to be negative. I want to grow into this

positive person. I want to grow into someone that's going to motivate and inspire people. And every day I just followed those steps and eventually I grew into that person. So it was just a transformation. Okay, so you will have to break this down for us because what I hear you saying is that

like you discern that there was an opportunity for you to show up in the world differently. So I want to ask, you said that you switched from, I don't want to think negatively anymore. I want to think positively. Like, what were some of those negative thoughts and where do you think they came from? And then I want to ask about how you changed. It was like growing up and fully you, the environment that we grew up in, it was like, if people just was like a crab in a barrel city, you know, just the hood part, it's like a crab in a barrel city. So people just want to bring you down. This is the way of thinking is like, if you're networking, they consider it

job. And Philly they call it job. So it's like, you don't want to network, you don't want to reach out to people because you don't want to be seen being, you don't want to be called job, you know, or you don't want to be called, um, out your name. But it's just a stagnant mentality that I had to realize like, I want more than this. Someone, I cannot listen to the opinions of someone where I don't want to be, you know? Like, so I don't mind, like, I just want to grow and just being on Instagram and help me realize it was much more than my circumstances. So I seen girls with businesses, I seen them buying their own cars, I seen them getting their own houses and coming from where I'm from, the only girls that had those luxuries were getting their own behalf of men.

So I didn't really see women doing their own, their own. But once I got on Instagram and I was seeing that I'm like, okay, this is obtainable. And once you see it, you realize you can have it, you know, you realize that that can be yours. So that was my goal. I literally decided like, I don't want this life no more. I want to create my life. I want to create my destiny.

And from a lot of the books, it really saved my life. I literally create a brand that everything that I love, I incorporate it in it, everything. Like, or at, we have motivational quotes. I love talking to my friends and sending them daily quotes. I have fashion shows. I love putting on entertainment. Every fashion show I have, I have a poet there because I love someone that speaks life and say you they can understand your circumstances. So literally everything with the brand, I just tied in my four personality and this is why I literally

love everything I do, you know. Okay, so someone would say, you know what? This city is toxic, this environment is toxic, it's this crab and a barrel mentality. And I get these messages, all of the time where someone is saying, you know, I'm gonna move, I need to get out of this environment, I need to change the way that I think, but what I hear you saying, Melon, is that you stayed in the same place physically, but mentally

and spiritually you you expanded. Because you didn't think, you didn't think, at least at the time that the only solution was to move. Because if you move and don't change your mindset, then you really didn't change anything. How did you know that you could do it without moving? So, my mom, okay. My mom has like, I always been a believer in Christ.

I've been saved since the age of 10. So like, because I had her, I always knew what could be. And it was just at the age of 23, it was like, me realizing like, what do I want to be? You know, so just having her there to help me see like, the vision and you really can't, me like you said no matter where you go If you don't change your mind set your life really won't change So it's about changing who you are first and changing your mind and how you think and how you perceive things

That's the first step and then from there so many doors has opened up for me because Some people don't have the opportunity to just move to another city. You know, right? And even if they do, they'll go to the same another city and attract the same people because their mindset hasn't changed. So you have to change your mindset and get mindset will change your life. Okay, so 23 is young to just decide like, I'm going to start this business. I'm going to throw everything I like into the business and I'm gonna put all my eggs in one basket.

And yet it seems like that's exactly what you did and did it take off immediately? Did you have to take some classes? Did you have to read some books? What did you learn? Like how do you go from I'm gonna change my life? I'm gonna start a business. I'm 23 years old and here it goes. So yeah, I did take classes.

I was actually in college during this time. I went to college for entrepreneurship. I didn't finish them, but I planned to finish it for my son. But I was at college for entrepreneurship, and I was in my make-or-economist place. And something just clicked for me, like, I want to do more. I want to do more.

And it didn't just hit it didn't just happen. I literally, I started as a hairstylist while I was doing here. While I was building my Lana DeRouche, I had to be, I caught myself a stylist. I really wasn't a stylist, but I caught myself a stylist. I had to be a model for the brand. I had to be the photographer.

I had to be a videographer. So I picked up all of these little traits along the way. And ultimately, these things helped me along my journey because now I know the basis of all of these little, of all of, I know the basis of every role in my company. So like when we're on set, sometimes I have to fix them out on here. When we're on set, sometimes I have to work

with the videographer to edit the photos and edit the videos. So I know like, I know exactly how long it's going to take you to edit this. And this helps me. So I'm like, no, it's not going to take a week. You can get this done in two hours, you know, but it literally helped my journey. But it wasn't overnight. Every day, I remember, I remember when I started, I used to hear people say, you got to put it in 10,000 hours.

Like, you got to put put in 10,000 hours. Like, you gotta put in 10,000 hours. And now, November 11th, 2022 will be my 10th year. I feel like I put in my 10,000 hours time 10 hour every single day on my own, on the couch. Even when I was getting my birth, I was working. I never stopped. Okay, so you remind me of myself.

When I first started Woman Evolve, I just got this revelation. And at the time I was just sharing my story, started Woman Evolve, I just got this revelation. And at the time I was just sharing my story, but Woman Evolve was really me saying, like I want to be intentional about this platform that God has given me about these women who are connected to my message. And I was like answering the customer service,

I was editing the videos, I was taking the pictures, I was editing them, I built the website, I did the Photoshoposhopping for it Like you sound like me and I that philosophy of don't tell me it's gonna take a long time because I don't need to have the skills You have and I can get it done in less time like I live by that and I need to stop I need to stop Cuz I'll be out here looking at people like Yes, I was production everything. Now we got fancy production and license stuff girl.

I was turning these cameras on. Now it was dark, it wasn't well lit, but it was live on YouTube and here we are. So I love a woman who knows how to get things done. What has been like the most, I'm gonna do everything project that you've ever worked on and do you regret it? everything project that you've ever worked on and do you regret it?

It was my one of my first big fashion shows. I know it was regretted but oh my god it was exhausting. I stayed up for 24 hours straight and I was like oh no we got to build a team. Next year we cannot do this. I was so exhausted but it was such a beautiful feeling like you seeing everything you watch everything come to life. And then you're on that stage and you see everybody in the audience. And it came from my idea, a concept to an idea to an infarition. It was just like, wow, but it was a lie. Oh my gosh. Okay, so I can't decide whether or not I want to ask you about how you built your team

or how independence keeps us from asking for help. Which one do you wanna talk about? Because the good thing about like I can do it all is that you can do it all, but the difficult thing about I can do it all is that it doesn't always make room for other people to come into your world. And most of the time when we ask for help

it is because we are exhausted. So which one do you wanna talk about first? I can't actually it is because we are exhausted. So which one do you want to talk about first? I can't actually answer both because that was me. And first it was that I independent, I can do it all. And I was really scared because my line of duty was just my baby. So it was like trust the other people to come in and what's your baby, you know?

But I looked at it like a heartbreak. Like once you get your heart broken, are you not going to love again? I said, yeah, I'm gonna love again and I'm gonna continue to try. So I was like, okay, it's okay. It's not the end of the world. So I literally decided, like, I can't do this about myself.

And in 2014, I literally started slowly hiring people and some of those people met my worst fears. They did exactly what I thought would happen, but I'm happy that they had my early because it showed me, like, okay, I didn't die. Like, I heard someone do. And I realized I cannot grow to the level that I wanted to be without a team.

In 2016, I have opened up my first flagship store. And I had hired a team and I put my check in the Bible. In March 2016, I put a check in the bible. I said, this is the last check. I'm gonna pay my stuff. I'm gonna build my team. And I didn't cash that check. I literally just focused on growing my team

because I knew I did not wanna work in my store. I wanted to grow the brand. I wanted to grow Milano to be a global brand. And I didn't cash that check until March 2017. But by the time then, I cashed, my brand was already good enough, and it was needed months on feet that I had the money, you know? So it was just good.

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of the Noom Weight Program. Stop waiting and sign up today. That's n-o-o-m.com slash evolve to start your free trial today. Where you were afraid when you first started making hires because I was afraid, I must speak for my own behalf. I was afraid when I must speak for my own, for my own behalf. I was afraid when I first started hiring people because I didn't know about someone's livelihood, depending on something that I was still getting off

of the ground. And I feel like there are so many women who find themselves at that stage where they're like, I'm maxed out, I'm doing everything that I can, but I don't want to hire someone because I don't want them to dedicate their life to building this thing, their livelihood rather to building this business that is still getting up off of the ground.

If you were afraid, what would you say to that entrepreneur who's like, I'm at this crossroads and I need to hire someone, but I'm also afraid that I won't be able to keep them on if I hire them? I would say, you got to hire people that you trust, they can understand your vision and they I would just be so honest with them, you know, because like when I first had a hire and I told my girls like I'm not sure how much money we want to make but so if you

need to keep your side job, keep your side job, but like I have faith I'm going to work hard for us and at the time I didn't have new kids, but I looked at them as my team. Like my team, I looked at them as my family. Like I had to work hard for them to eat. So I just made it my priority. Like every day I'm posting, every day I'm working hard

because I gotta make sure that these people eat. And I want them to be able to leave their job because they were so passionate about my line of divorce. Like I was. So I think you just gotta to trust in your team, be honest with them, because you don't want nobody to leave a secure place to work for you,

and you really can't provide them security. So I think honesty is the best policy. And then just work hard with them, like ex-Nomferd Feebick, I feel like the people that's on the ground got them, they know the customer, they can get you the best advice and just be open to so many suggestions.

Don't think you know it all. You don't want to be the smartest person on your team. That's a word. I love when our team like gives me feedback because my perspective is limited, right? I've been a mom for most of my life. I'm married and we're doing things for woman evolve. And if we only have my perspective, then we're only gonna reach people who can identify with my experiences. But when we all collaborate, we have an opportunity to meet the needs of every woman. And so I love having diversity.

A lot of times we think about diversity in terms of having different racial or ethnic representation on our teams. But diversity also comes in different lived experiences. You need someone who understands the rules, South. You need someone who understands city life. You need a single one. You need a divorce woman.

You need a widow. We got to be able to pull from everyone. I have a question for you about work life balance. Like what does balance look like for you? Does it exist? So you know what's so crazy? I was doing an interview and I was explaining my process and the interviewer was like, it doesn't sound like you're balancing. It sounds like you're harmonizing because you letting everything flow. Like,

balance is like this. Like you trying to make it work, right? But when you harmonize and you make it everything flowed one together and I was like, I like that. So like with my son, I literally try to have everything around his schedule, you know, or have him around my schedule. I try to make everything, I work all the time. I'm on calls all the time. So it's like my little 15 minute break. Let me read to you. Let me go outside, let's go for work.

I just try to harmonize it into it. So it doesn't feel like I'm trying to force it, but rather it's just flowing together. I love that. I'm still in that. Yeah. I think my bio says something foolish like Sarah J. Swaroper to expertly balance it business family.

Every time they read it I cringe because like does anyone expertly balance anything? I'm changing my bio. I harmonize. It's going to help me become a singer. If I can harmonize my life, I canize. It's going to help me become a singer. If I can harmonize my life, I can harmonize these vocal cords. It has becoming a mother changed you. Absolutely. Oh my gosh. I took my head off to moms. I had no idea that just running a business and becoming a mom is just, it's just superhero. I had no idea what mothers want to even stay a home mother.

It's just, I took my health off to mothers. It definitely changed me. I think one of the biggest things my son did was he made me think about ownership. Like in 2020 when I had him, I was going really well with Marlano, but everything was like materialistic things and just traveling. And it was like, I don't have no ownership Like what do I have to pass down to him?

So once I had him I had a man May in August I had purchased my first store. I had purchased my first building and then from there now in 2022 I have 12 investment properties But it was like I have this money in a bank. What am I going to? I had to learn so much stuff But he forced me to want to learn it because it's like, what am I going to pass down to him? Your money is no good in the bank anymore. Money is depreciating the value all the time.

So it's like, let me invest. And I just went here first and started investing and just building. I did my will in my state. It's so many things I didn't think about. But with him, he just forced me to think about it. And it just changed my life further. I'm so blown away about how intuitive you are.

I mean, I think that you're the perfect person to talk about discernment, because though you're speaking about it in a way that comes so naturally and easy, I think that's just a reflection of how gifted and talented you are, there are some women who are listening who are like, I don't know that I could ever think on that level. Like right now, I'm just trying

to make ends meet or right now, I don't know what I want to do with my future. And yet you have this gift and ability to receive an idea and act on it seemingly without fear of the risk connected to it or you're not deterred by the risk connected to it. Have you always been that way? I have to be honest. It was like, I never think about what if I fell, you know? Because I'm not from that about them. It was like, you either try, you never lose, you know?

You either win or you learn. So it was like, even if I fell, like I never lose, you know, you either win or you learn. So it was like, even if I felt like I'm not defeated. So I never thought about like, what's, what's going to happen? You know, like if this doesn't work, it had to work. And if not, this is going to launch me to somewhere else, you know, so I'm not afraid to start. And this is how I look at it. Like, what is my dream?

No one made me want this dream. I wanted this dream on my own. So I work like I wanted. Like nobody one made me want this dream. I wanted this dream on my own. So I work like I wanted. Like nobody's forcing me to do this. I don't have an alone clock to wake me up for my line of duty. My line of wake me up.

I'm fueled by my dream. So I think people just got to figure out what makes I'm happy. You got to do what makes you happy. My line of wasn't making money for the first, I didn't see money. We were making it, but I didn't see money for the first three years. Because I was in a cycle, I didn't see money. We were making it, but I didn't see money for the first three years. Because I just, I was in a cycle, I didn't understand it.

But I was still working like I was becoming rich off of it because I enjoyed it. I just turned my passion into a paycheck. So I think people got to just figure out what makes them happy. What would they do if they wasn't getting paid for it? Some people enjoy cooking, some people enjoy talking to people is like, figure out what makes you happy and just try to drive that. Like, you know, like watch other people. I normally tell people to find three people in the industry that you're in or that you

want to be in and learn from them. Use them as your mentors. Everybody's like, oh, I need a mentor. I need a mentor. I didn't have a mentor. I had mentors in my head. You were one of my mentors in my head, actually. So it's amazing for me to be here.

But it's like you learn from these people and you watch what they do and then you just follow their steps. Okay, you just make me want to like go to sleep and wake up different. Like, I don't wake up different. I want to be passionate about salad. I want to be passionate about this.

And you are boosting me up. Okay, I totally relate to what you're saying though, even though we grew up in different environments, I think because I experienced my pregnancy so early and in the church culture that I grew up in, that's like failure at an early age, I really felt like there's really anything that's to be improvement

from here, right? Like I graduated high school and people's like, oh my God, you did it. I'm so proud of you because everyone was kind of like, this is going to be hard for you to win in any way. And so success to me is like, within reach because it was never something that felt really far-fetched. So that fear of failure, you know, my team always talks about how I don't dip my toe in the water.

Like if we have an idea, I basically push everyone into the pool and I'm like, don't worry about it. We'll swim. Don't worry about it. We'll figure it out. But I do think that now that my life has kind of leveled out a little bit, that I may be fear burnout. I think I fear burnout and sustainability. Like, can you sustain at this pace for the long call, right? Because now

I've gotten over this hump of like, okay, we have something, we got a foundation, we built in something. But then I looked down the road and I'm like, I want to do this for the next 30, 40 years. And I don't know if I can continue to have the energy to do it at the level that I'm doing it on now. What are you afraid of that maybe isn't related to work or is related to work as you continue to grow and evolve in your life? I think one of my series is just not reaching the expectations I set for myself or not reaching my

full potential. And another one is protecting my baby. It's like how do you protect your baby? And it's it was like the hardest thing, especially just when he was a baby. It's like I used to be just checking to make sure he's breathing. Yeah, yeah. Or like just making sure that like the right people are around him. It's just you don't, you never know, especially you hear so many stories, it's like, okay, how can I be present enough, whereas though I can make sure that he's okay. And it's like sometimes you can't. Yeah. Like you know, sometimes you can't be there. You know, some moms, the other Sunday kids that they care and they just gotta pray for the best. So it's like, how do we protect each other? I don't know, that's just one of my biggest fears.

Yeah, no, I totally feel that. And I've got three that lived in me. And then I've got three bonus babies. And I'm at this weird stage, especially with my oldest that lived in me. He's 19, he's moved out to college on dorms. And I'm just like, he's out in the he's 19 he's moved out to college on dorms and I'm just like he's out in the heart of Los Angeles and I know he's out in the streets like I know you're in the streets

and you're just like this kind of hardy kid from Dallas Texas and like people I watch the news and people are out here doing things and yet I find peace and safety and the fact that like he started with God, you know, and at the end of the day I'm going to do the best that I can and I'm going to trust what I place in him, but I realize that like there are some things that like as a parent, I can't teach, only God can guide and so I'm having to trust that. I have a question about your other fear, this idea of reaching your full potential. Do you think that you will know when it's there or are you the kind of person that once you have reached it,

the flag is pushed back a little bit? That's me, once I reach it. So this is what I say. I always say like, once I make one dream a reality, I dream some more, I dream bigger and I dream better. Like, I just never want to flu consent. But I just want to like, I dream some more. I dream bigger and I dream better. Like I just never want to feel content. But I just want to like, I want God to use me until it can't use me no more.

So like sometimes when I'm on a plane and it was turbulence and I'm like, oh no. This can't be. This can't be. Oh, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, more for me. God, God, God, more stuff for me. I know this isn't it, but it's like, I just want to make sure I'm like, we in my full percentage.

Sometimes when I feel like, this was like, I wasn't, I didn't give it my all the day. I'm like, no, I got a tap in. I know like, I got a bigger purpose for me. Like, I got a tap in. I got to inspire. I got to do more, you know?

Yes, they're trying to get me that I got hair on my face. I got it. Amen. Okay. No, I totally get that. Cause those moments, especially on the plane, that's when I be like, this is it.

You never trying to get me. You just flown up here trying to take me out. But reminding myself, like I still have work to do. I just wondered though, especially as women who I think are constantly finding something to do or a new dream to pursue once we arrive to a certain place. Like how do we celebrate the reality that, like you're at your fullest potential?

Like there's still, I think maybe the fullest potentials not a destination, it is a way of being. It is a commitment to continuing to cultivate, a commitment to showing up regardless. Like maybe that is the fullest potential and not necessarily once I have this in the bank or once this has happened, because that's always going to continue to grow.

What you think about that? Right. No, I agree. I think that you're so right about that. You know, I absolutely think, I think that's it. You know? So it's not really a destination.

It's not really of the amount of money. Because what I learned that everything that you want, I remember I used to say like I'm on a G-Wagon or I want a penthouse. I used to say I want these things. And then once you get them, it's like, no, that's not it. To me, I think what makes me happy is figuring out how to make other people happy. I is figuring out how to make other people happy

or figuring out how to help other people grow. Like, just being able to be like a, like I say like this, what I tell people, Milano Dibuj is a clothing brand, right? But I look at the brand as a vessel because some people are attracted to my brand because of the style or the coolness of it. But once they hear the story or once they start to see what Milan was about and how we inspire people to chase their dreams and stuff, it's more sort of vessel of really getting people to really like believing themselves.

So that's what makes me happy. You know, not just see, like when I see people with my brand on, it's like, wow, but when I see people wearing it and they making their dreams a reality, and they're buying their core or they're signing their mortgage or they're getting their first business started. That right there, I'm like, yes, because now you're opening up so many doors and you're creating this generation where they can believe that dreams are real, you know. So that's really what makes me happy. And this is why I use my platforms to promote that type of stuff. That makes me so happy because I feel so many people believe

that the only way that they can be effective in changing the world means that I may have to go into ministry or I've got to write a book or I've got to do something like preaching. And I realized that God has gifted so many people in so many different ways. And ministry is not just grabbing a Bible and preaching. Ministry is how you use your life to serve other people literally to minister is to serve. And so you're serving through your fashion,

when you're serving when you pick up that camera, like there are so many different ways to serve. It's about recognizing who you are in a room and the light that you carry and the ability that you have to shed light in dark places, which I feel like is exactly what I see you doing and you're feeling throtic endeavors. Tell me a little bit about why you felt

it was important to have the mom and air clubs and the woman air. I wanna make sure I'm saying the woman air club. Like what made you feel like this is the lane that I want to take up space in. So can I just tell you one thing because as you were talking it made me think about like ministry and just using yourself like you don't have to be a preacher. Right. So I remember I was in college and one of my friends, she practiced a different religion than me. And she would literally, like, she loved her religion. She talked about her religion equally as much as I talked

about mine. And then, like, we've been friends for three years. And then one day, she was like, can I go to church with you? I was like, you want to go church? She was like, yeah, I'm like, really? She was like, yeah, come on. She was like, I see what guy has been going to, yeah. And I want me to do the same at mine. So I'm like, oh, yeah, come on. She was like, I see what guy has been doing to you. And you're like, and I want me to do the same.

My mind's so I'm like, oh, yeah, for sure, because I never put religion on people. I just let them see how I operate. I never try to tell them, oh, oh, you gotta do this. Like I literally just try to let them see what guy do in my life. And I always talk about Jesus and I always pray, but I never try to make them become religious

because I am, you know? So she wanted church with me. And the pastor called the, the, the author called and I was doing something. I think her walk passed me and she was walking in the house. I just ran down with her and I breathed her in and I'm like, wow, this is God works because she was so devoted to her religion. And she literally just switched her as because she sing well, God did them out like, and she's been a Christian for like five years now, but it's just amazing to just live in there and people can see what God does and they want it, you know?

That gave me chills. Like, no, no, back to, we got to let that settle in for a minute because I don't know. We live in a different age and in different generation and culture. And I think that we have to be willing to respect the differences that exist in our friends and our co-workers. And sometimes our family members, but to trust that our light

is powerful enough to attract and to draw people to Jesus. That is the goal. I think sometimes we don't trust the light. And so we have to force ourselves on other people and force our religion. But if you stand flat footed in the transformation that God has done in your life and the growth that you're experiencing, the conviction that you're going through, it will draw people to you. And so yes, that was testimony service. And we love to see it. Yes. Okay. Now you can't see the question. Whatever it was.

You helped me remember what it was. It was about the Women Air Club and the Women Air Club. I created the Women Air Club first, and it was because the Women Air Club is the club for women that are entrepreneurs. And I created this club because when I was, even now, it's so hard to, my friends don't understand things that I'm going to, you know?

So like the advice that they'll give me is it doesn't really help for business. So this club is really for business woman where we connect, we share resources and we give each other advice because well another business woman go through that's just a testimony to show you that you can get through or if you just help you whereas though your average friend may not have a clue they may not give you the right advice. So, having this women and club, it was so essential. And another thing I did, the reason why I did it was because most women in my position, the bosses,

they are the ones that everyone lean on. They are the ones who people come to for everything. So they don't have no one to actually lean on. So it's like, they're just so build up where they don't have a release. When I started the club, I started it with a retreat. And then my retreat, I had a therapist come, I had a nutritionist come, I had someone do a yoga session with us, I had spa massage face shoes, and then I just had different workshops where we talk, we learn and we engage.

And I did it therapist because it's like we don't have no ones to talk to. I wanted us to be able to like sit on that couch and talk and really release. And when we're coming out there, I'm crying because it was like I see what you go through. I go through it too, you know. And it was just able, just a beautiful feeling being able to connect with somebody that can understand you on a level where it's, it's nothing about, it's nothing personal. It's nothing personal. It's no bias. It's just you see me for who I am and what I work to be and you help me, you know.

It was just beautiful, you know. That's amazing. And so you started Waminair Club, which sounds like a retreat that all of us want to go to, especially after surviving this pandemic. What made you decide to start the Mamanair Club? I started the Mamanair club when I was pregnant. I used to look on all different pages.

I was researching everything when I was pregnant. So I would look on all these different pages and I started following a bunch of different pages but I realized most of the pages that I was following, they were like specific, so certain genres or certain issues. And I'm like, I want somewhere that has everything tied in. And it was certain advice that like

people from the hood where I come from, they don't follow these pages. And they would never probably follow these pages, but I knew they follow me. So I'm like, okay, I want to share the stuff that I'm learning for those people that can use this a vaccine. You know, I remember watching Oprah, when my mom going up, a lot of the things that we learned from Oprah, my mom didn't learn from her mom. So the things that Oprah was sharing on her platform, my mom would incorporate that in her life.

So one of the episodes, it was Oprah was saying, like, kiss your child before you go to sleep and tell your child, you love them every day. And my mom incorporated that when I was like 10 years old. So that was like a natural thing. But has she not watched Oprah? She would have never knew that because I'm not her parents dad in today. So it was like let me use this, let me use this platform for me to be the Oprah, you know. So for me to share different tips and stuff for parents to learn because they follow me, they may not check these other pages.

But because they follow me and they see me as a represents representation for them, I'm like, let me try to be the voice for them. And with my mom and their club page, I just share different tips that I'm learning. I share different advice. I tell them, make sure you love your child, make sure you hug your child,

pray over your child, you know. My kid right now, every time he eats anything, it could be a crafter, it could be a bottle, I would say, say it up, I would say the grace, and after the grace, he'll be like, Amen! But I told him that I've been doing that since he was a baby. So it's just little things that I think together,

we can share and we can help change the narrative. Melania, you're a baddie in more ways than one. Thank you. on your and baddie in more ways than one. Thank you. One of my loves is jumping in and helping my team complete task. If I'm honest, I also love when I don't have to work at all. Like my favorite thing is to do nothing.

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Make ship happen with shipstation. Okay. We have an advice question and I can't wait to hear your perspective on it. It says, so I'm a single mother of four ages 14, 11, 9, and 7. I recently tuned into your podcast with Kandine Ellis discussing purpose. Her explanation on what she felt purpose looked like prior to her stepping into it is where I am currently. I have been single for four years now after an eight-year relationship that I thank God every day for delivering me from.

And during this time, my walk with God has gotten stronger. Although I'm still concerned with what my purpose is, God has taught me that worrying about it won't make it come into fruition any faster. But that in my waiting season, I can still be of service to others. For the past two years or so, it's been heavy on my heart to create a ministry titled that assists women and more recently, I've wanted to add men because there are a lot of single dads

out here as well, and not losing themselves, trying to find their purpose, but also not struggling with their identity as an individual. So much of our time is consumed with being a parent and doing things out of sheer responsibility. We end up losing sight of ourselves. That's been the hardest part for me. I can't tell you what I love to do besides being a mother, although I have many skills and talents.

None of them speak to me when it comes to it being my purpose. That's been my conversation with God so many times over the years and since. I'm exhausted with trying to figure it out. Anyway, my point is that I can't even begin to start this ministry if I'm still currently in my walk with uncertainty. Do you have any advice for me while still being a work in progress and getting started? Oh, I'm going to let you start. Well, my advice for her is you can be a masterpiece

and work in a work in progress at the same time. And your purpose may be motherhood, because like, if that's what you enjoy, number four kids, they can change the world. You don't know who, though sometimes your purpose is who you created, you know? So just instilling things into them and helping them grow and change the narrative.

That can be your purpose. You don't have to look at everybody else and think because this is what they're doing. Or I need to do more than just being a mom. Being a mom is a superhero job in itself. And you create in this ministry to show other women that no matter what you decide to do in life, as long as you're happy and you're fulfilled, that's all that matters. That's gonna be my advice to her.

That's my advice too. You know, one of the greatest gifts that we can give ourselves is resisting the pressure to engage in hustle culture when we don't know what our hustle is. Because pretending that we have one is a recipe for disaster, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. If you don't know what your hustle is, don't make one up work where you are now. Find fulfillment and where you are now. If you love being a mom, be a mom. If you love being an assistant, be an assistant. If you love working at Target, love working at Target.

Like everyone doesn't have to start a business and make millions of dollars. Not everyone has to have a six pack and be on Instagram. Like love where you are and find fulfillment in it and celebrate that those other people seem to be walking out their purpose is not a competition. I don't have to down what you do in order to big me up and I don't need you to big me up in order for me

to find fulfillment in my life. This is who I am. This is why I am. And I'm good with it and pray that everyone else finds the way to live that same truth for themselves. But I think you've got the inklings that there's something for you to do, work being a mom, help out the other parents that you have a call to and just let that be it for now.

And just know, I'll say this too, that like purpose reveals itself, that as you really embrace where you are now and you become settled in it, you'll see that like, like Milan started Milano de Ruz, she was 23, the woman air club, the mom and air club, that was all in that same seed of what she started when she was 23 years old. So work that seed and see what it becomes. That's it. That's all I got. Yes. Yes. And can I add one thing to it?

So like, even me, my child is about to be too. Whatever you start from being a mother, I would probably, like, people like me would want to be a part of it. Because we want to know like how to bake cookies or how to do domestic stuff. This is a, you can create a career from that in itself, you know, like a Pinterest line. Like you can share different cool things, because I know you have four kids,

you probably got the coolest stories that you can share with us. So just take that and own it, and don't let nobody tell you any different, because it's gonna be a line of mothers behind you supporting you because they's gonna be a line of mothers behind you, supporting you because they believe in what you believe in. So like she said, listen to Sarah,

cause you don't listen. No, listen to Milan. Join the Womener Club, join the Momma and Air Club. I'ma be in there getting all of the tips, teachers, how to make these cookies and do the things. Milan, you're amazing. I think in the world of you, you are a gift to women everywhere.

Thank you for preserving your life, protecting your life and for not protecting your life and not allowing anything to extinguish it because it is certainly making the world a better place. I enjoyed this so much. Oh, thank you so much and I definitely enjoyed it and I just, I'm just so grateful to God for even having you in my presence Because this is just a full circle moment. Like it's the blessing. Thank you so much. My pleasure I'm gonna reach out to you. I think there's something that I'm working on that you'd be interested in and it's helping Teen moms and moms in general get some of those tips and tools that you're talking about so I'm a DM me. I'm a sliding to you DMs

Okay, thank you so much. I look forward to it. Okay, take care. All right, you too, bye bye. Bye. Give me my flowers. What did I tell you? Milan is so dope, right? Okay, so go ahead and follow her on all of the socials. While you have your phone in your hands, you already know what I'm about to say. Email me your advice question or a one to two minute video about why you should be my

next co-host. Podcast at woman evolved.com. Milan, sis, friend, girl. Thanks for carving out time to chat with us. Keep giving women around the world a reason to believe that they can dream bigger dreams, your evidence that dreams can be executed with excellence. you