Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Strategy of Information w/ Caline Newton

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

Last month on the podcast, a bunch of baddies reclaimed their power! Now W.E. finna strut into April with a revolutionary strategy! And leading the way is our girl Caline Newton, a certified financial educator & personal finance strategist. Sis, if the math ain’t mathin’ in yo life, TUNE IN for all the deets! SJR & Caline are droppin’ gems about cryptocurrency, financial literacy in relationships, gender equity, entrepreneurship, tithing, & so much MORE! Chile, Eve gave her two cents during the advice segment, but glory belongs to God! Is there a correlation between your brokenness & being broke? Are you robbing Peter to pay Paul? Swing by CalineNewton.com for The B.O.S.S. Blueprint E-Bundle, a system to overcome financial difficulty. This week’s episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com/Evolve + Zocdoc.com/WomanEvolve + CatalinaCrunch.com/Evolve.

God can't bless you for tend to be or who you can care yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a unique boundary. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God fighting for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Chai. April is Financial Literacy Month. Women openly discussing finances or sharing information to help each other's financial progress is revolutionary and I could not pass up the opportunity to help us maintain that back after it's secure. Today we get to talk with 25-year financial vet, Kaylee Newton. Get your notebook and pen out. This is about to take us to school.

And your bank account is going to thank you later. Let me just say this. This conversation is for everyone. Whether you're making more money than you've ever seen and you don't know what to do with it or you're making so little money that you don't want to see it at all, there is hope, there are goals that you can still set

and there is progress to be made. Let's get into this revolutionary strategy for your money. Miss Kayleen. How are you? I'm doing great, how are you? I'm doing great. How are you? I am well. I am well.

I got the best news ever today. My mom went into hospital. Sunday and she's being released today. Yeah. Oh, there's a blessing on today. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. How are things for you since with the world opening up?

Um, things are good, things are good, we're back open. Um, so, you know, it's just dealing with what it is, you know, just getting back to normal, getting back to normal. Whatever that is, whatever that new normal is. Well, I am so excited that we get to have this conversation. You have been such a blessing and just an incredible presence. Not just in my life. I was a little bit jealous when I found out in the life of my friends too. When Jason was like, oh my gosh, I love Kaylee. So I was like, wait a minute.

I thought I was her favorite. Now I'm sharing her. I don't know how I feel about that. And Shawn, everyone, they love you. Yes, I'm Shawn. Yes, yes. It's enough of me. I can share all of you. You can share all of them. Okay. I'm holding you to that. I'm looking forward to this conversation. For the month of April, we are talking about revolutionary strategy and we want to talk about

having a strategy for different areas of our life. But I felt like a great place for us to start is to really have revolutionary strategy for the information we receive. I think that that is so important. Oh my gosh, we are inundated with information every single day. But I don't feel like we ever take the time to really ask, what is the strategy

I have for the information I receive? Am I gonna pray about it? Do I need to do something? And I think one of the things that I've been seeing just repeatedly is just how the economy is changing and shifting and the gas prices are going up. And I think that it produces like this fear. But I'm wondering with you, Kaylene, what type of revolutionary strategy do you have when you see information about how the economy is changing and shifting? And I'm asking you this, my listeners don't know this, but I'm asking you this because you have financial literacy on lock.

And I just want to know how we supposed to deal with these gas prices. What are we supposed to do? So the thing about it is you need to just exhale. And I'm not just saying that because a lot of information can bombard us and just take us off track. And all of that information doesn't necessarily have anything to do with our personal situations. And so, one thing I like to say to persons is, finance should be personal first. So, when you look at the overall strategy, you have to make sure that you're making the decision that best or gives the best result for you and your family. So that's the number one strategy you exhale, you pause, and then you start to look at your goals and align

your money with your goals. Just because information falls in your lap, it doesn't mean that that information is something that you're supposed to act on. It doesn't mean that it's something that you're supposed to apply to your own life. You mean to tell me that sometimes we're catching information and we need to be minding our business or at least qualifying the information to say,

how does this apply to my life, does this apply to my life? If not, I need to get it out of my system and out of my brain because it's just taking up space. Yes, it's just a lot of noise. Just because it comes from experts doesn't mean you have to listen to it. So you have to really get rid of all the noise, get rid of all the clutter in your mind, so that you could be intentional and focus on what is best for you. So you are on point when you say that, ladies. Okay. Let's reverse engineer this because I want to know how you came to a place where you started getting a strategy for your money in particular. Like, were you just born this

way? It was always in you or did something happen that made you say, you know what? I need to get serious about this money because this money is getting serious with me. So it's a combination of everything that you said. So it was my environment that I grew up in. I'm thankful for my mother who had certain strategies, especially when it came to savings. And then education was part of it. But the number one thing that really got me here

and gave me this expertise was experience. I experienced it all. I was at the point where I didn't have. I was broken. I was broken. And then I was at the point where when I started to get, I just spent, spent, spent, spent.

I became a consumer. And so I got myself in so much debt. And then one day that weight was, I was just tired of all that week. And I said to myself, I said to God, what can I do? And that's when it all came together. And so it's not just one thing that caused it, but it's a combination of, as I said, my environment, my education, and my experiences that made me say, I need to get serious about my money so that I can be able to be more impactful in the world. And so that's where it started.

Okay, Kaylee, you said I was broke and I was broken. Oh geez. We gotta talk about that for a minute. Cause broke is one thing, broken is another. Do you think that there is a correlation to sometimes, sometimes I know that there are often a lot of I mean gender plays a role in our pay inequities education plays a role systems and environments plays a role. But do you think that in addition to those variables that there is a connection between being broken and broken

or at minimum, being broken and becoming a consumer, becoming someone who spends in order to make themselves feel better, talk to me about the connection between our emotional, spiritual, mental state and the way that we spend money. There is a direct correlation between our brokenness and being broke. Wow. Because our emotions, especially if there's a weight, there's a heaviness with those emotions, you're trying now to fill a void. And that void now, in order to fill that void, you start to consume whether that's food, whether it's material things, whatever it is, but you need the tool of money to make it happen.

So now you're using your resources to fill this void. And the void could be depression, it could be anxiety, it could be bitterness, resentfulness, whatever it is that you need to now try to forget or pretend it doesn't exist. You now have to put this perception on like everything's good. And so you spend your money so you could look good or look the part. And so there's a direct correlation. And it's not only through experience, they even now teaching it that there's a direct correlation and it's not only through experience, they've been now teaching it that there's a direct correlation between how you feel and what you do with

your money. And there's a quote that I love. It says, look around you are looking your clutter. There's your money. Wow. And so when you look around, is there an easiness in your environment? Is it clear or is it very cluttered with things and you are distracted? And when you look at that, you're going to say, and then start to feel or look at how you're feeling.

And then you're going to be able to say, oh, this is why I'm doing this because I want to make myself feel good. But in reality, it's just a false perception of feeling good. That's so good because I'm thinking about how we often spend money as a distraction, whether it's, I'm going to go out because I don't want to sit at home by myself or I'm going to spend money on my friends and my family because at least they'll come around or at least I'll be able to have connection with them. But what I have learned in seasons of like taking financial fast or just saying to myself

listen, I'm not going to spend as much money eating God. I'm not going to spend as much money ordering in that I have to sit with the decisions and choices that I make. Like I eat healthier when I don't order in, but there is an ease, there's just an ease that comes with ordering in, or there's a comfort that comes with ordering some of my favorite foods, and I feel like

it often just becomes a distraction. The currency of this world literally allows us to flow in whatever numbing, whatever healing or false healing that we think that we have access to through currency. What do we do to break the cycle? How do we stop this? It's not easy and it's not about stopping a cycle because unfortunately, especially where you're at, a lot of these habits grow with you. So it's all about being fully self-aware. You have to be aware of who you are

and where you are, where you're at, and why you do what you do. Because you talked about this numbing. Because that's what it is. It's a distraction, it's a numbing. And it's not something you need to be on a journey in order to rewire or to reset what you do when these things happen. So there has to be an awareness. You have to be able to identify what, what, what emotions come up in me that cause me to do this with my money. What environments do I have to ensure that I stay away from

so that I don't misuse or misappropriate my money or use it for that reason? So you have to now identify these things and that is more, that's hard. Because it's like a mirror moment, you're seeing yourself as who you actually are. And so the one thing you must do is be self-aware. And then you need to put in boundaries that causes you to be able to handle the situations or be prepared when these situations arise. And so that's the two things that I would say from an immediate standpoint that you have to do. So you have to recognize yourself in that moment. How do you define being financially literate? Financially literate is just understanding your finances and knowing what best to do based on what you have. Okay. and knowing what best to do based on what you have.

And so that is what that literacy is all about. A lot of people think it's about having the zeros behind the dollar. No, because you could have a million dollars, and if you still are financially illiterate, and your expenses are a million dollars, you're at ground zero. But if you're an individual who may have 25,000 or 30,000

and your expenses are 10,000, you're at a net equity that's better than the person who's making the million dollars. So that literacy is very important so that you could understand how to maximize the money that you have. could understand how to maximize the money that you have. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy and Chow. We're better for it because life can be full of stressful, okay? It's the unexpected stressors that throw me for a loop. Having access to therapy, especially online, is very convenient and helpful.

Whether you're busy or just not ready to meet with someone in person, better help can help you take care of your mental wellness. Better help is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy. Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Womany-Bove with Sarah Jake's Roberts listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash Evolve. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash evolve.

Okay, so I have a question because I can remember, especially after I first got divorced, that the extent of my financial literacy was I'm broke. Like, I know what my money is and I know what it ain't. And right now, your girl is broke. So what do you say to someone who's listening? And they're like, oh yeah, I'm financially literate and I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I know that that money is not enough.

How do we get out of this whole of, I'm working my butt off, I'm getting up, I'm doing what needs to be done and I still feel behind financially. I want to ask that. And then I want to flip it about people who are making more money than they've ever made but are still not as comfortable. I want to ask that. And then I want to flip it about people who are making more money than they've ever made but are still not as comfortable as they want to be.

So let's start first with financial literacy for me is that I am broke and it ain't a joke and I don't know how I'm ever going to not be broke. Well, you know, that's the one thing that people think is the hardest. And so I like to use myself as an example. When I first started to work, and I got my qualifications came out of college,

my first job I was making $150 a week, and I had a loan, an educational loan that I had to pay back that was $600 a month. Wow. And I told people, do the month. So if you make it 150 a week, I used to be thankful for those five week months because then I got an extra week because the four week months took all my service. I understand, but being broken, it ain't no joke.

But what I did say is I didn't like that feeling. I didn't like being there. And I knew I wanted something different. What you have to understand is start with small steps. We want to do grand things and see big dollars in our account to say we're doing something. All you need is every week put $5 aside. And don't look at it.

Start to just see how you could be more creative in your shopping. The number one thing that takes our money away is food. Whether it's grocery, or whether it's going out to eat. So start to look at ways that you could also re-be creative about it. So whatever is on special, that's what you eat for the week. Yeah. So if chicken on special, you eat and check in at ground beef on special, you eat what you eat for the week. Yeah. So if chicken on special, you eat and chicken at ground beef on special, you eat in spaghetti. You have to now just be more focused and intentional about how could I put those coins aside, those pennies aside and stack it?

Hmm. Instead of looking for these grand gestures of I need to put a hundred dollars, I need to put a thousand dollars on a saving account. So if you broke, still write everything down. Everything you spend your money on, the first thing you should do for three months is track every penny you spend. Now a lot of people think they know what they spend because they look at that bank account and there's no money there.

But you're just doing things out of just automatically just doing it. But if you write down every single penny you spend, even if it's a stick of gum, do that for three months. And then when you do it for three months, look back at what you did. Now you're not trying to fix anything in this three months. Just look back at the end of three months and then you're gonna be able to say, oh wow, $100 I was spending on snacks that I don't need. And then you look at something else and you see, oh wow I went into target for two things and I ended up coming up with 100 things. Yikes. Because what we do is we train ourselves to think that everything is a need. So when we say I need this, I need that.

So mentally, even when we have challenges with our money, we're not going to really get out of it because we justify everything we spend our money on. I don't make that much anyway. So how could I save anything? I don't like what you're saying. It feels a little rude and personal. When you say we train ourselves, no, no, it's not like a need, but it's like, I bought this dress.

I already have the dress and the shoes are just $35. Like in the shoes and the dress. And then I'll actually use the dress because right now I'm wasting the dress So I really need the shoes so I don't waste the dress you telling me that that's not that's not the math a math And is what you're telling me Math a math a math Because what's happening is if you had three dollars and you had to pay two dollars for the dress and a dollar for the shoe You now have zero dollars, right?

But if you had three dollars and maybe you just bought the dress, you'd still have a dollar, you just bought the shoe, you'll have two dollars or if you bought nothing, you'd have three dollars. But my dress would be so lonely. What about, okay, so I have a question for you. What about these children who, you know, you wanna give them things. And for some of us, his parents like legitimately, know it's maybe not a need that they need the new shoes. And maybe it's not a need that they need these toys, but maybe we feel so guilty for the things we can't give them

that we do wanna at least give on this one thing that is not a need. Where is the line between, I want my children to have what I didn't have or I don't want my children to see just how desperate or how destitute we may be. So I do spend on things that I don't need, but it's so that my children don't see how in need we are. So here's where you have to have very straightforward conversations with your children. Statistics say that by the time a child is eight years old,

they've already developed an understanding on emotion around money. So even if you say nothing, they're still able to adapt it or absorb it from their environment. Even if you say something, then they're able to try and figure it out for themselves to based on even interacting with other children. And now you have online where there's overstimulated with so many different things. So what the best thing to do is to try to find a medium, still have the conversation, I'm not saying that you

shouldn't, you should deprive your children, but start to teach them about goals and then meeting these goals and then also teaching them about prioritizing the goals. And so you would say to them, it's not a financial priority at this time. So not now doesn't mean not ever. It's just now showing them how we're gonna get from where we're at to where you wanna be or what you want and what we're gonna do in between so that we can make it happen.

Okay, let's talk about another stage of money making. And this stage is, I'm not broken, I'm not living paycheck to paycheck, I'm not robbing Peter to pay Paul. I'm actually making enough to have a bit of a cushion. Maybe it's not thousands of dollars left over at the end of the month, but I've got more cushion than I've ever had. How do we begin to reframe our relationship with money so that we can begin to have goals for the little cushion that we have or do we just, I mean, do we need to think about our retirement? Do we need to think about getting a house? Like, what do

we do with this extra so that it doesn't end up in our closet or on our table? Okay. So, let me, I want to rewind something because I've talked, I've called it a few times or we didn't really talk about it, but it's goals. A lot of people would have goals, but they separated from their money goals. And so that's where the tug-of-war comes from. So if you are an individual who has discussion, there's some things that you need to do for yourself. Retirement is definitely one of them. We have to understand that as women, especially the statistic is, I think, you live until 84 is the average age. And so even if you retired 65, you still have to live beyond 65 for another

20 some years. So retirement is something, especially if you're very young, to start to put away something for your future, right? Because we're going to be there anyway so you might as well prepare for it. Definitely if you have children, make sure you have a college fund if in fact that child is going to call it. Or even if that child has dreams of being an entrepreneur, put some funds away so you could also help them with that. And definitely don't just deprive yourself of everything. There has to be some fun money in there. There has to be something that that that gives you joy or lights up your spirit. So you have to put that money away for that. Like for me, I love to travel. And so I make sure that

I have a travel fund. And so these are the things you just have to determine what is important to you, what's important to your family, and then start putting money away for those things. Is there a percentage of fun money that we should be able to put aside? Once we've like, I've covered out my bills, I'm doing good. I have this little cushion. Maybe I've already put something into my savings. Like, how can I qualify how much money I should put aside for me to have fun? So I don't like to give these statistics of a rule of thumb, but I'm minimum it to be 10%. I'm minimum because I like to say to people, you shouldn't be working all your life just to pay bills. So the first thing you do, you tie it and the second thing you do is you pay yourself

next. Then you pay your bills. So that fund money would be about 10 to 20% especially if you're in a position where you already funded your investments, your long term savings. So about 10 to 20% is good. I have heard that you should not allow people to borrow money from you unless you expect to never get it back. Is it still true? It's still true.

You don't ever lend what you cannot afford to lose. That is a rule of thumb. Even if the person is going to pay you back, even if you have a contract for them to pay you back, have it in your mind that you're not getting it back because you don't want to now create emotional issues around this. Wow. Because borrowing and lending money is a very sticky situation. And so you don't want that to now affect your personal finances. So if you can't afford to lose it, don't lend it. Don't not lend it. Okay, so how do we start saying no? Let's talk about those people who are making more money than

anybody in their family circle, making more money than anyone in their grand circle. And now people know that make more money because you didn't go on the Italy with your fund money. You didn't buy to your purse with your fund money. That fund money looked like my rent money. So what do you do when your fund money starts looking like somebody else's rent money, but you're not trying to be you're not trying to be the one who hold their rent money or their life bill money or card note money. How do we say no? Do it? Are we going to feel guilty? Is it going to ruin their relationship? Talk to me. Okay, so this is how I set my boundary and this is what I teach my clients to. Determine what amount is comfortable for you to give away. Okay. No one knows that

figure. You know that figure. So you put that in your budget. So now when friends and family come to you and then you could also determine what you deem important to you when they come to you. Because someone else's emergency doesn't have to be your emergency or something else that someone thinks is important doesn't mean it's important to you. So once you determine that, when they come to you, you can comfortably say yes to them if you want, but when that number is, that amount is done for the month, whomever else comes after it's a no. Unfortunately, you know, I'm not able to assist you to this month.

And so now you've said boundaries. Now, if it comes to a point where you have to now just say to yourself, or have an accountability partner, or even have a time frame before you answer, whether it's 24 hours or 48 hours, don't ever say yes or no right away. Okay. Okay. Let's say to them, I'll get back to you within a day or two. Let me think about it, pray about it, whatever your conversation needs to be.

But these are now creating boundaries where you don't have to say yes to everyone and you will be able to be comfortable in saying no when you know that the amount that you have allotted to give away is now already used for the month. So you build it into your budget just like another expense. I love that. Can you give me what's been like your greatest testimony as it relates to your own financial growth and development? My greatest testimony, wow, I have so many because once I became very intentional about my journey,

you now had to move through or get over these mountains. So they appear, we know how many decide to say, oh, I wanna be patient, God. What happens? Everything that can make us impatient comes our way. So one of my biggest greatest challenges that I overcame was I had accumulated over $100,000 in consumer debt.

So this was just having good credit but being able to borrow and not actually putting it purchasing assets that could make money for me. So what consumer debt is is just you have no value after you spend the money. And I was able to pay that off. Wow. By using a signature blueprint within, with less in less than 10 years. And that was with not making more income at my job, but I was still able to overcome that. So that was one of my greatest money accomplishments when I look back at my journey through all the years. Oh my goodness. I know that's going to help someone.

So this suggestion, just in case someone's like, listen, I need that blueprint. How do they find it? Is it through the work that you're doing? So also, yes, I actually have it on Pay Hip. I have a link where you can actually, the value is greater than what you're going to pay for the investment. So they'll be able to find the actual blueprint. It's called the boss blueprint.

Sorry, the boss blueprint. So that's B-O-S-S. And each letter in boss represents a part of the strategy that I use to be able to get rid of that data of 100,000. And the B stands for, and it starts with belief. So your beliefs create your behavior. And so that's what the B is. And the O is oxygen. And then the S talks about the system and the strategy and the last S talks about savings and other streams of income. And that was how I was able to overcome the challenge of $100,000 in consumer debt. Since I'm sure you've finalized your spring break plans, whether you're taking the kids

on a break or taking a break from the kids or taking a break from yourself, the Zock-Dock app is something you must have on your mobile device before anyone leaves home. Zock-Dock is a free app that shows you doctors who are patient reviewed, take your insurance, and are available when you need them. Of course, I don't want anyone to get hurt, but if it happens, I know we'll be prepared. Zach Doc gives me peace of mind when we travel

because I have access to verified patient reviews to see what others had to say about their recent visits. It's incredibly easy for me to find out where my health insurance is accepted and scheduling an appointment isn't complicated at all. You can see what I'm talking about for yourself. Just go to zackdoc.com slash woman evolve and download the zackdoc app for free. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today.

Many are available within 24 hours. That's zoc.com slash Waman Evolve. Zuck-Duck.com slash Waman Evolve. I'm curious. Okay. So you mentioned something about investments earlier. What do you think about this like crypto currency movement that's taking place? I think when it first came out and everyone was like spamming, there were all these comments of spam on Instagram about getting crypto and Bitcoin and all of that.

But then we see a lot of our friends and family that are actually investing in it and seeing sometimes some return, sometimes some loss. What do you think about that? So with any investment, you have to do your due diligence. You have to become educated about it. So cryptocurrency like any other investment is still a very good investment.

It's a very stable investment, but you have to do your, as I said, do your research to ensure that the type of cryptocurrency that you invest in is the right one and the right one for you. And so yes, in the beginning, there was a lot of spam. And a lot of that spam was real. It was, it, it, people took it out of context and they were trying to take advantage of people and the ignorance because they didn't understand it. But now, because you have more security around it, more understanding around it, people are getting,

are showing that they have evidence that it's real and it works. You now have a shift on how it's being sold or how it's being identified in the marketplace now for people. So that is a good investment, but for any investment, you must do your research. Okay, I have a random, I'm trying to use, I'm trying to bridge your answer into my question,

even though it's going to be so random, you'll be like, what, that's a crazy bridge, but here we go. So when we talk about investing in relationships, do you think a woman who is savvy with her finances becomes more intimidating to a man or is it a challenge to a man? I ask this because when you talk about being a boss, you talk about a woman really taking ownership

of all of her investments and her resources and reaping the benefit of that. I think if we're honest, sometimes we feel that that may make us less attractive to our male counterparts, especially for women who are single. How do we navigate the empowerment of women in literally every facet of life? the empowerment of women in literally every facet of life. And the, I don't, it's not a discouragement of men, but I think there's the possibility for more equality than maybe we have seen in the past when men have been considered the bread winners and the ones who provide that financial stability.

What, how do we begin to change that narrative to make space for both partners to be financially savvy? Well, the way that you change that conversation with start to with making or ensuring that your children are financially literate, and that's the girls and the boys, I think what happens is we think that if everything is gender based and we don't try to teach both girls and boys the same thing. Now from an adult perspective, I believe when it comes to relationships, especially money matters, you have to be very, very

open, transparent, vulnerable and clear about what's going on with you. And if you don't do it, that's when you now have all of these other challenges as you navigate the relationship. I think from my perspective, as a single woman, and as a boss, when it comes to those things, I love to just have that conversation. Now, I also believe in being feminine. Some women don't, you know, they feel as if the soft aside of them doesn't work either in this environment because they have so much to prove with the equality.

But when it comes to relationships, you have to be able to have that ebb and flow and that feel when you're having these discussions. But as I say, you have to be able to have that ebb and flow and that feel when you're having these discussions, but as I say, you have to be very clear and vulnerable and transparent about what's happening. And when you have these conversations around money, you'll be surprised to know how it may show up differently in the relationship, especially if you have the same core values. Because if you're now trying to create a family, you get married and create a family, you have to pass these same values on.

So you need to be on one accord. So definitely just have the conversations. Do you think that you could be with someone who is not as financially literate as you? No. I'm thinking, and I say no because financial literacy, as I said, has nothing to do with the zeros. So, if you're financially illiterate, that's going to already be a conflict. Now, if you're open to learning and shifting from illiteracy to financial literacy, that's

a different conversation. But the short to the first question is no. Because to me, that's just like, just unequally yoked. Yeah, yeah. Let me tell you something. We'd be worried about the wrong things when we date. And we would like, are you fine?

How much money are you gonna make? Do you have muscles? You have muscles. Yeah. How many baby momma's? How far apart are they? What's your relationship with them? Not are you financial literate?

Do you know the Lord has he convicted you about anything ever? What is your mental health like? Do you have it there? Yeah. We worried about the wrong things. All you feel about there? Yes. We worried about the wrong things. All you feel about therapy. Yes. Man, okay, so if you listen and you think

of we trying to help you, we trying to help you qualify better. Listen, honey, the more that I adult, the more I realize that some things for my childhood are meant to stick with me. Having a bowl of cereal while catching up on my favorite shows is one of those things. I've been eating Catalina Crunch for a while. I love that it's zero sugar, keto friendly, with a variety of great tasting flavors for me to try. I'm not a fear of missing out kind of person, but since the Catalina Crunch numbers don't

lie. out kind of person but since the Catalina Crunch numbers don't lie, over 10,000 customers have left 5 star reviews and I want you to be in the number with us. Just go to CatalinaCrunch.com slash evolve. For 15% off your first order plus free shipping, that's CatalinaCrunch.com slash evolve. Not sure which flavor to start with, try a variety pack and check for more delicious cookies and snack mixes. Again, that's CatalinaCrunch.com for 15% off your first order plus free shipping. Miss Kaylyn, we have an advice question. I can't wait to get your thoughts on it because I think it's gonna be right up your alley.

Says, I am the mother of four amazing men, my ex-husband after the divorce, took a hand-to-off approach to their development and care. That includes not consistently spending time with them, not providing insurance, showing up for various events, not all but too many, not contributing to their education for a while. We lived on Medicaid and SNAP, and I even worked three jobs at once. My prayer has always been that God will allow the junk their fathers has to fall from them like the like the chaff of the

wheat, and that my junk will not stick to them either. I want more than anything to make to make their own mistakes in nine hours. Here's my dilemma. All of the sons are very successful in living their dreams now. And while I am certain that I have forgiven their dad for our marital problems and his lack of attention to our children, I resent him for sticking out his chest and bragging on them to everyone he meets. It's like, dude, what did you do to help them get here? Please help me put this into perspective. In my head, I know it's okay for him to be proud

and it's okay for him to celebrate them, but my heart and emotions feel discounted and unseen. To me, this sounds exactly like what you were saying about raising our children with financial literacy and the sacrifices that we make for them, but what do you do when someone else starts taking credit for the sacrifice? Here's the thing because you don't want to reinforce negativity. And so eventually, and I know we like things immediately.

We come from this microwave society that we want recognition for our work right away. But maybe in this season might not be the time for it. So you talk about forgiving the husband, but you also the ex-husband, you also need to release the resentment and just allow others to see you in your sons because eventually they will see them. And so if you're looking for the acknowledgement from others, that is going to continue to build that bitterness and resentment in you. And you truly haven't forgiven him or even yourself

because a part of your journey is also forgiving yourself. So the reason you may want that recognition is because you haven't forgiven yourself for the choice that you did by choosing the dead ad. And so that may be something that you have to release. But I am of the view that you don't need to show him up or let people know it's not him, it's you. Because eventually they will see you in your sons. And it's not him, it's you because eventually they will see you in your sons. And it may not be this year, it may not be next year, but eventually that legacy is going to show up that you were the one that supported them and gave them the blueprint for them to be who they are today because the only thing

they're going to do the more successful they become is thank God and then thank you. Yeah. I told it, man, I have to tell you. So I am raising children, we're in blended family. And I can imagine like when I imagine myself in your position and we finally get these kids over the finish line to have that partner who wasn't present come up and act like they was a partner,

I can only imagine how challenging that would be. So since I'm gonna let you know that the even me would be like trying to check him 24 seven, like no better, but not doing better about it. I said, like, no, how you know about his GPA? Tell me about a science teacher. I would be just reading the role. But then when I came to myself, I think the highest version of me would remind myself that they're not really who I am, who they are, because of me either, because at the end of the day, when God does something, at the end of the day,

God's going to get all of the credit for it. And I think that it is our human nature to try and prove someone wrong or to try and prove the role that we played into it to see our value in their outcome. But I am in the thick of raising like this adolescent to young adult. And I can tell you if we make it through this, it will be nothing but the Lord. It won't be my therapist. It won't be the books that I read. It won't be.

It's going to be an accumulation of God just breathing on it and saying, I'm going to protect them in the process. And so I think the highest version of you may have to stretch yourself to say at the end of the day, God did this and it is marvelous in the Lord's eyes, but that can be a little bit of a challenge. But if you ever need somebody to roll their eyes and pop their neck, come holla at me. Let's see, a fake Instagram account. We'd be like, you didn't do that.

No, no, no, don't do it, don't do it. It's killing it. Ms. Kelly, I want to ask you a question before we go. We talk about paying equity. The paying equity gap is large between men and women. It is even wider when we talk about women of color and by color, it's not just black women, brown women, yellow women.

How do we begin to negotiate for the salary that our role demands, even if it means that we're gonna have to fight for something that our male counterparts don't have to fight for? So definitely the first thing you need to do is speak up. A lot of us are intimidated to speak up when it counts. And so you need to speak up. Another thing you need to do is talk amongst yourself because there's so much privacy or secrecy that a lot of people don't

even realize that they're not even being paid what they should be paid. And so you need to now have these conversations happen with the men. So that you could be able to now show up when you do have the conversation with your boss and say, well, this is what is expected at this level. And then on top of that, when you do go to have that conversation, have evidence so that you could prove and show them, you shouldn't have to, but these are the things that you have to do in order to get where you

supposed to be. What is really yours. So you now need to give them evidence, well, this is what I have done for your company since I've been here. And a lot of us, we shy away from our accomplishments because we think that's being humble, but what it causes us is to miss out on real opportunities that we deserve. And so you just need to speak up, speak up loudly as you can, wherever you can, whatever opportunities you have, and also make sure that you create relationships with people where you can have conversations with them to know what you deserve so that you can know the starting point when you do go into how those conversations.

Okay, that made me think of something else that is less corporate motivated but more entrepreneurship based. So we've got entrepreneurs, they're setting their prices. Maybe they don't have the experience to justify higher prices, but they still feel like man, I am being low-bought or people don't want to pay the value for the service that I am providing. Like, do we negotiate?

Do we hold our ground? Like, how do we get ourselves off the ground as entrepreneurs without setting a price that we cannot sustain? Because it's not possible for our business. But also, we don't want to miss out on the opportunity to make something, something's better than nothing. cannot sustain because it's not possible for our business. But also, we don't want to miss out on the opportunity to make something, something's better than nothing.

How do we balance that? So, the way that you were able to deal with that, will definitely, if you're getting into business, and this is your only form of income, you have to be very careful that you're not running after every dollar, because every dollar don't mean it's a good dollar. So you have to definitely be confident in what your price is. So if you know your worth and you know your value, you set your price at that level. Now you have to determine when you are willing

to negotiate. So there's no one set way of how you should do it. But you have to stick by because you don't want to look to others that you're unstable. Wow. So you still need to say, this is the best viable price for my product and I understand my value and I understand my worth. And you keep it at that and you just make it. You just do the work where you're able to get persons to buy into what you're selling because people pay for results. They don't really pay for the product or the service you provide. They want to know that you say that I'm able to get what you say I'm going to get. So if your product or service is going to give that result to that person, you're going to get your price. People will pay for your worth if they get your result. So you either have to

solve a problem or create joy for someone or give them a desire. And if that's the result you give them, they're going to pay your price. So don't try to be unwavering in what you charge. Be very confident and just stick with it and then now show others what results you bring. Why do you choose to tie? I know you mentioned the 10% tithing earlier and as I tied this well, but I also know that we're, you know, as the world changes and as places of faith become less safe for some people, that the idea of tithing is not something that is universal. And yet I believe that there is a connection between the resource that I have in God's provision and I honor that through that giving. But what is your mindset on tithing and what would you say to someone

who says, you know what, I've never tithed before What is it why should I do it and why is it still relevant? So I agree with what you're saying too because I am faith-based That's who I am and I do believe that giving to God is tied into what we get back You know what we would would what would we get And so even from a financial point of view, three of the basic points that we teach is saving, sharing and spending. And that share part is what tithing is.

And if you're a person who isn't used to, have never tied, don't understand it. Just understand that it's about giving. It's about giving so that you are able to receive the full blessings that come from it. And so if persons could think about that just at its basic level, then they would understand what tithing would mean to them. And it doesn't have to necessarily be to an organization or to a church or to a religious grouping.

It could just be philanthropy. It can be just outreach to a soup kitchen or to the Red Cross or just doing something where you're taking from what you have and sacrificing. So someone else who doesn't have can also now be blessed by what you have. Okay, Miss Kaylen, this is my last question and this question is for my friend who's listening and she's in that paycheck to paycheck season or she's looking at this mountain of debt or student loans and She doesn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and she's afraid because

When you feel financially like you're drowning it is hard to breathe in any other area of your life and yet She found this podcast it fell into her lab, this podcast about having a strategy. What is the greatest piece of information that you want to leave her with that will help her have a better strategy? Not just for her finances, but for her peace and her mental health while she's on the road to getting to that place where she feels financially free. the road to getting to that place where she feels financially free. I want her to, since I want you to know that this is a journey, it's a marathon, it's not a sprint. You have to take one step at a time. If you're looking at trying to get rid of it or deal with it all at one time, it's going

to be overwhelming. So you must understand that I just need to know it didn't take me one day to get where my it's not going to take me one day to get to the end of the journey. And so just take it one step at a time. And if you have to stop, you stop and pause. And then you start again, but you don't ever look back. Because when you look back, what you're doing is you're holding on to

what created the situation would cause you to think the way you think, what makes you feel the way you feel without looking forward and saying, you know what, I'm going to not let fair or let frustrations take me over, but I'm going to walk in faith and take it one step at a time. I love that I want to give one piece of bootleg. I'm not a financial expert in any means.

I don't know nothing about nothing. I'm learning and growing just like the rest of you. But I had a friend who was climbing out of some debt and she was getting really, really frustrated and we came up with this system. I'm gonna give it to you, Kaling, because you're gonna help people with this. I'm gonna give you the system. You might give it back to me.

You may say, you know what that's trash, but she was a visual person and she needed to see the work that she was putting into paying off her debt visually. And so we took a post it and we took as many post it as many payments as she had left. And each month when she made a payment, she would pull the post it also

that she could see the decreasing of that debt. And she started looking forward to anytime she'd make the payment being able to pull off that post it and getting one step closer to being debt free. So if you're one of those people who are visual and you're like, you know what? I just need to see this work I'm putting again. Because when we put in work on our bodies,

we see it in our clothes. When we put in work on these finances, like we just have to know somewhere that Sally May got that money and she gonna be all right and that I one step closer to being debt free. You may need to see it. And maybe that's a tool that can be helpful for you.

Kaylee, what you think? You throwing that in a trash? Are we good to keep it? No, we keep it now. We keep it now because that's something that I also advise people. You know, whether you're visual or not, when you're able to see it and they can play it,

you, the excitement and the momentum come. So definitely, I love the, the, the, the posted way you take away once you start to decrease. I also include infographics where you color in a block or a certain area once you pay it. And when you're done, you have the entire thing covered, you know, colored so you see that now I no longer owe this. Or you could use Mason, Jaws and Marbles and move it one to the next, you

know, whenever you pay one, you take it out and you see the Marbles going down. So whatever you need to help you, whenever, especially when it's with dad, that's the best thing to do is to be visual because now the momentum happens, you start to feel better and you start to even find ways on how you can now pay it off even faster. So that's not an atrash lady Sarah. That is definitely something that people should continue to do. Well, thank you.

We are made better because of our time with you today. Thank you so much, Kaylene, for just being such a light and sharing all of this information. You have helped our strategy become literally revolutionary. And I look forward to the growth and the testimonies we're going to receive as a result of it. I love you big. Thank you so much. Love you too. Okay, I'll see you soon. See you soon. Bye. Bye. Kaleen, thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge, pun intended. Delegation, I'm challenging you to share this with your homegirls, cousins, aunties,

whomever. It's one thing to secure the bag, but it hits different when you help another woman to do the same. Now y'all know, one of my favorite segments of the podcast is the advice question. I love chatting with y'all on social media, but periodically I like to take a break to block out the noise and excess information. Social media breaks help me to get recentered. That being said, the easiest way to ensure your question is received is to drop me an email

podcast at womanevolve.com. That's also how you can become my next co-host. Send an email with a one to two-minute video sharing why you'd be a great co-host and what we can learn from you if you were. Same time next week, I'll be here. What about you? you