Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Table Talk w/ Anthony O’Neal

Episode Date: February 9, 2022

Chiiillleee, ISSA special edition podcast series featuring the fellas! The first to pull up a chair & cop a seat at the table is national best-selling author, motivational speaker, financial expert, and podcast host Anthony O’Neal! This week W.E. talkin’ preconceived roles for women (tuh), the depth of a power couple, Black men’s mental health, & so much MORE! Bruh, will you support what God has created her to do? And Sis, can you be entrusted with his vulnerability? Delegation, grab a few good Josephs. Then press PLAY as SJR & Anthony revolutionize the dating game! Connect with the homie at anthonyoneal.com + Follow his socials @anthonyoneal—easy on the DMs miss ma’am! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp & Audible.

God can't bless you for tend to be or who you can care yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a unique boundary. What? I don't need your lights. I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God fighting for me that's there for all things.

All things. All things. Child. So you know that scripture about God doing a new thing. Well, something pretty revolutionary is happening at the Woman Evolve podcast this month. We're inviting men into the chat to get their perspective on life and just all of the things.

Okay, don't worry, it's still girl time. We're putting the men in the hot seat and it's always and forever a safe space for us to learn and grow. And what better way to revolutionize our perspective than to communicate with others that may be different from us. I can't see you, but I feel like you're not in an agreement. And I love this for us. Okay, last year I was on my book tour. I did an incredible interview with the homie Anthony O'Neal. Check it out on YouTube if you haven't seen it.

We had so much fun. I knew we had to have a part two, but on my turf with my home girls, let's go. Anthony O'Neal, true or false, you are afraid of what's going to happen on this podcast. You can tell me, you can tell me right now. Absolutely, a boy is nervous. This is woman evolved.

This is not brother's evolved. This is woman evolved. That's a man is going to evolve from the woman evolved podcast because we are better when we come together in exchange thoughts and ideas. Do you agree with that? I agree. Sarah, I watch your podcast just so I can learn better. When it comes to ladies, I'm rocking with Sarah

just so I can learn. So listen, some of my answers you may be shocked because I may just repeat what you would say because I've been watching your podcast. Okay, so I have a question for you. What is one stereotype? What's one belief that you held about women may be growing up or for most of your life that you feel like you're beginning to shift or change as you are exposed to more women or do your own work and research by listening to the Waimini Ball podcast.

Man, she's starting off hot. Yeah, I think that to put myself out there, now that I'm changing, that the definition of a woman sitting at home and not really doing nothing has evolved, has matured that, listen, we are both, we may have different roles, but we're just as equally as important.

So it's like, we both are gonna bring something to the table that may be different, right? But we're both just as equally important. And I've always thought that a woman should just stay home and the old school tradition of the Baptist, the Baptist way of growing up, that a woman can't lead, a woman can't do this, woman can't do that, it's demands responsibility.

And as I'm evolving from listening to woman evil, I've learned that no, absolutely not. Ladies can come to the table and lead. Ladies can come to the table, lead, and then learn how to work together with the husbands. I've always thought strong ladies who are leaders can't really love their husbands because they come to the table with this mindset. But as I'm evolving, as I am maturing, as I watch you grow over the last year since we've

met and just seen what you and your husband are doing, seeing what my parents are doing, I'm like, yeah, I need to let that go. I will tell you, when I first met PT, he told me that the hardest part of our marriage was going to be him knowing how to lead me and me learning to be led. Because when we did me, I was, you know, I had bought my own home, I had a career path,

I was taking care of myself, I had a vision for my future. And the difficult part about marriage and relationships, especially these relationships that are like foundational to your identity, right? Like I'm not talking about someone you're dating. But when you begin to merge a life with someone, there is a level of collaboration where you do have to take

on a person's strength, which may mean that you don't have to show up as strong in certain areas and that you also have to make up the difference with them and I had to learn to allow my husband's space to lead me. And it would be simple things that I never even thought of like walking ahead of him in the hall. Like he would be like, if I open the door, you don't just take off wait for me to get in front of you. And I was like, oh, until. Let's go PT. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yo, let me tell you something Sarah that PT taught me and you taught me. I don't remember where it was. I wasn't there, but I law don't want you to do something online, right? And one thing I learned from PT was I've learned how he knows

he's still the man, he's still the husband, right? And he lets you win. You did something that was so small, but I was like, yo, son, when you got done preaching, PT came on stage, you ran to your man to embrace him to hug him. And I was like, yo, son, she just ripped the house. But the first thing she did was she loved her husband.

She loved her man. She didn't go to the audience to love them. When he came on stage, she embraced her husband and he set and watched back. And he set back and watched you win, watched you inspire. I was like, yo, okay, PT, let her win. Let your wife win, set her up to where she can do what God has created her to do, let her shine.

But then also, ladies, learn how to make sure that your man knows he's still the love of your life, that he is still a partner of yours. And watching y'all to listen to woman evolve, I was like, okay, I am evolving because I'm watching PT who is a monster, right? Really step back and let and and help his wife win. And then I watch you step back and I'm like, okay, yeah, so y'all, y'all keep evolving over there because y'all evolving all of us. It is it's such a dance because in those moments, I'm showing up strong for other people,

but my husband is intimately aware of my own vulnerabilities and insecurities in that moment. And so when we get finished and it's like, okay, that message went over well. Like, we were able to like really allow God to flow through me in that instance. For me, running to him is like taking my cape off and saying, man, we did that.

Like, it's our celebration because we know exactly how much that moment costs. And it's difficult to be in partnership with someone who doesn't see your win as their win. And instead, they see your win as competition or your win as another reason why they don't have worth their value. And I think the only way that a couple, especially a power couple, can come together and see one another's strengths as equal benefits to one another is if they also know the cost of that strength, the weakness and the vulnerability connected to it.

And that's where a lot of power couples end up having friction because I only want you to see my strength. I don't want you to see my vulnerability. Sarah, Sarah, Jake, Crippers. I'm just saying. No, but that's real. It's because men, we've, I think it's because men, we get around each other and we don't really teach each other how to be vulnerable with each other. And so then when we get with our spouses, when we get with our partners, I'll be willing to bring to the table

of just strength. And then pretty much what we're doing is lying to ourselves and we're lying to you all. And we're teaching our partners that our feelings don't really matter, that our weaknesses don't really matter. And I think that's false. And that's something that I'm doing.

You know, I've embraced my vulnerability side, but I'll be honest. That is hard. Yeah. It is hard to be vulnerable, especially with a woman, because let's be honest, when I am dating, most ladies are attracted to what they see. They're not attracted from the weakness, from the things God is still working with me on.

So when I expose that, the very first thought I have is, are you gonna like, are you gonna judge me? You're gonna run from me? And so, but now I'm starting to, just, even with my team, you know, just the other day, I was a little emotional because I moved to DC and I'm like, yo, I'm just, who this is weird? This is different. And I was like, yo, I'm just, who this is weird? This is different. And I was like, yo, we've never seen you soft for it.

I said, but we love it. And they felt like they can get closer to me as a team because now they see a side of me that I've never exposed before. And so now as I'm practicing it, I'm looking forward to finding that one that I could be like, yo, man, I feel a little, I feel a little weak over here.

I feel a little, a feel a little weak over here. I feel a little soft, a little vulnerable. But still be the man, don't get it twisted. What? What is so good? You were doing so good, I was so proud of you. So, why? I still gotta be the man. You can't be like, you know, you can be vulnerable,

but hey, listen, listen, I'm a man for a reason. Yeah, okay, listen, first of all, you've said a lot here. Let's break it down. I need to take a note. You've said a lot here. Let's start with number one. Okay, the idea of just showing strength and relationships, I think, is something that women can relate to as well.

And the fear of, if I let you see this other side of me, will you judge me? Will you still see me the same way? I think that women can totally relate to that. But you know what I find interesting is that when we show up in relationships and we only give our strength, we also become resentful because we feel like

the person takes us for granted because they're only drawing from our strength and not looking out for us and protecting our energy, our emotions, our resources, but we never give off the energy that we even need those things protected because we're only showing up in our strength. And so I'm wondering, have you ever found yourself resentful with someone else for the lack of your vulnerability in putting up another version of yourself that says,

I'm not an unlimited resource of wisdom or joy or resources or whatever. Like I need my cup filled to absolutely set what? Huh, Jesus Sarah, this she's going deep. This is not no regular conversation. Sarah, absolutely, Sarah, I have, you know, and I think part of that is my fault because I didn't set the stage up front. I didn't come to the table up,

French saying, hey, here I am, but here's all of me. Yeah. I've led with, yo, I'm this guy, I have this, I've done this, I've accomplished this, but I've never led with the like, yo, but I'm still fearful about this. I'm still a little nervous about this. I still have some concerns over here.

God is still working with me on this side. I did that one time, Sarah, and I won't say I regretted it because I learned how not to do it again, but I've also learned when I went to therapy, she said, hey, listen, you just did it with the wrong woman. That's it. Right. Don't stop did it with the wrong woman. That's it. Right. Don't stop doing it because the right woman will see that

and she would do exactly what she was created to do to protect that, to nourish that, and to help move it forward. But she was like, but you gotta accept that fact first. But, Sarah, I'm in a, I think men in general, this is why I listen to PT, because PT just be so strong, but it may be breaking it down.

It's like, I lead with my strength. I do not bring up my weaknesses until I know for a fact I can trust you with those weaknesses. And I do that not just in relationships, but even with my team. Yeah. Even with my family.

I cry alone. I cry with the woman who I pay to be my therapist to be quiet. I don't cry with someone who can eventually expose my tears. I'm in this season to where I'm like, yo, I'm just going to start being emotional. If I fill it there, I'm just going to be there I'm just going to start being emotional. If I fill it there, I'm just going to be there with the people who I can trust and give them the opportunity to take it and nourish it and protect it. And if they do something wrong with it, then I just know that's not the right person to be around. Because I'm in, I'm in O's era.

Well, I already know that like your DMs are going to be flooded with a lot of, I am that woman when this podcast aired because everyone is trying to shoot their shot. No, no, no, no, sir. But they're going to do is they're going to go back to the last show when you was on my show. Oh, that dude on the word, you'll be my legacy. No, I don't want you. They're going to un-send that to you.

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month that can be used towards any title of your choice, including best seller and new releases. What are you waiting for? Visit audible.com slash evolve or text evolve to 500 500 for 30 days free. You know what? I love your therapist and that she's teaching you how to open up because I will tell you PT and I have been married almost eight years, and we still struggle with vulnerability in our marriage. Because it's not like you establish vulnerability, and it's there forever,

because we have to learn to be vulnerable as our life changes. So who I was when we first met and what vulnerability was to me then, has shifted. And I think there's this embedded fear of like, if you knew that I was struggling with this, like could you accept it? Like, I'm going through a depression.

Can I tell you that? That I think I'm depressed? No, it's work. That's why they say marriage is work. Cause it's like, you're constantly having to reintroduce yourself to someone in hopes that they will still keep the same worth and value and intimacy that you had to begin with. And I told PT, PT likes to think I loud. I like to process and then share my thoughts. And he's like, it's like negotiating for

me. Like we can go back and forth. We can say whatever we want to, because when we get to the bottom line, it's the bottom line. And I'm like, but I don't want to go through all those changes. I would rather just share the bottom line. And I told him, I'm like, babe, when something happens, that is really emotional for me, it's like a tornado hits this room of my heart. And I have to close the door in order to show up.

And I feel like you're kicking the door open right now. And I'm trying to keep it guarded. And I can't keep it guarded. If you keep poking at me like I can't keep showing that. And he was like, let me in the room. I can help you clean the room. I can tell you what the damage is in the room. And I'm like, the room is closed. My man. But that's a man. No, we want, but that's him trying to protect you though. You know what I'm saying? That's him trying to get to his queen, get to his wife, get to his best thing and say, hey, let me help you. You know, I want the door back open. And I know how to get it open. But you're right, we as men, we have to be like, okay, let her just keep the door closed. But please believe we'll be on the other side of the door,

like yo hurry up. Or you got to learn to open your door. Teach me how to open the door. Wow. See, this is my issue with Sean. Is that y'all want to put on your escape, You gotta learn to open your door. Teach me how to open the door. By opening your own. See, this is my issue with Shawn. Is that y'all wanna put on your escape, but y'all don't wanna be rescued and you be over there drowning. Let's talk about black men and mental health. Yo, let's do it.

Let's go there, let's go there, Sarah. Let me tell you why men have a problem with that. Why I have a problem with that is because when I did it, one time she brought it up every single time we got into a argument. So when I let her come in rescue me emotionally and then we got into another argument down the road, I was there when you went through this and I did this for you and I did that and that breaks us, that puts us back in a corner.

And I'm like, like for an example, 2000 when I was with Bishop McKiss like, right, for an example. 2000, when I was with Bishop McKissick, right? I was put in Ebony magazine, top 30 under 30 influential black men in the spiritual world, right? In the youth world. I came home to the young lady I was dating. She was 11 years older than me Sarah. And when I came home to her, I was emotional because I was shocked.

I was like, yo, and I was emotional because I was shot. I was like, yo, and I was a little fearful, a little like, yo, how is this going to? Like I was, I was, I was, I was like, yo, happy, but I was a little emotional. You know what she told me? She said, I expected that from you. So grow up. And I was like, yo, I led with my emotions. And then you come and you do this. So then moving forward, not saying it is right, Sarah. Starting, you already know what you're thinking. I already know what you're thinking, Sarah. Don't come me off and I ain't even started.

I'm just saying, it's like that's why I meant. So now I was like, when we try to open the door to invite you in, you all took that door and slammed it. You all say she, say she took that door. Thank you. I was just about to say that I felt that in my spirit because I was generalizing. So this particular young lady in my life shut that door.

And so then now I know I need to open that door back up, but I'm a little nervous because I'm like, if I open that door back up, are you gonna walk in and help or are you gonna take that door and shut it again? And that's more so of the pride and the masculine side of men because we were created to protect, right?

And so to have you all come in and do that side with us, it's a little weird. Yeah. All right, I already know what Sarah's about to say. Go ahead. No, I'm not, no, no, no, I'm just hearing, I'm hearing you out because you know what I asked God to teach me when PT and I were like,

we had probably been married a year or two. And when a woman's about to be vulnerable, she says, I wanna tell you something and it's gonna be hard for me. When a man is being vulnerable, now I'm using generalizations, cisgender relationships. Like I am making some assumptions here, but you know, go with me.

When a man's about to be vulnerable, it's already happened. Like your voice doesn't change. There it is. Let's go, Sarah. Let's go. There's no introduction. It's just you're already here in Bono. And so a woman doesn't always know that she's dealing with your fears or something that cost you something to say because you just say it.

And then we're just maybe fumbling with your heart because we didn't know how much it cost you to say what you say it. I'm sitting what's your cash up? I'm sitting with you a love offering. I'm like so serious right now. Yeah. I went I had a it's so small but it wasn't small but it was so small. Sarah I'm a grown man and in December I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. I've never been put to sleep and the dog was like we were going to put you to sleep and And the dog was like, we were gonna put you to sleep. And I was like, no, no, no, you're not put him to sleep because I wanna wake up on earth, not in head.

So, no. And I was nervous. And so I remember texting someone and I told her, and Sarah, she was like, I was expecting. So I heard it'd be like, always gonna be okay. You're gonna be all right. So I went through the whole surgery, came home, and I was thinking something nice, right?

I was saying she's gonna be nice, she's gonna be sweet. And I was like, I woke up, texted, she was like, oh, I was like, I'm in pain. This stuff is hurting. This is crucial. She said, well, dang, make sure you brush your teeth, keep brushing your teeth, keep flossing. And I was like, what?

I was being vulnerable. Where are you shopping? Like, where are you shopping? What? What? What? Something that is not them is you. Where are you shopping?

Who are you talking to? Like, I was shopping. I wasn't shopping. This is just the, this is just the homey, right? And she was a homey and I'm like, yeah, you're gonna say single. Because I was expecting you to be like, yo, man, do you need anything? Or are you okay?

But she was like, yeah, I mean, thank you, best, we'll just keep brushing and teap, keep flossing. So you won't have this problem again. And I'm like, okay. And so here's the thing, this was so awkward to me. My dad came with me because you know, you can't drive home after going to sleep. And I told my dad that in the softest person, the sweetest person in my life during that time

was my father. And I was like, dang, how come I can't find a woman that I could be that vulnerable with and that soft with, but also my therapist told me, Anthony, you're the problem. Because you lead with strength, you lead with all of your accomplishments, and you don't lead with Anthony Bernard O'Neill Jr. And so that is something I'm starting to do now is, it's, I'm Anthony Bernard.

I'm not AO, what people call me. I'm Anthony Bernard, and I want you to know that guy. That guy who is a little kid, loves to laugh, love to travel and just go jump in the pool like he's 15 years old, who loves to read books. He's just become a little crazy nerd. And in the middle of nowhere, I would just scream in the middle of my house,

like a little kid. And I want my woman to understand that because for the most part, I am always on. I'm always serving people, I'm always helping people. And so I want the woman to be like, yo, Sarah, I still sleep with my door locked and a little night light outside of my door. As a grown man, I said it on a woman evolve show.

I don't know why I just said that. But, vulnerability, this is a safe space. Yo, listen, so I'm like, I want my wife to be in a scene, all right, cool. It's not that I'm fearful of dark. I'm just fearful of someone breaking in my house, and I don't know where they are. I can't see them, so.

I wanna be vulnerable like that, with her, but I do know it starts with me. I can't blame it on her. I have to lead with vulnerability somewhat for her to see that I want to be vulnerable. I was gonna ask you, did you have a good childhood, like a healthy childhood? I had a very good healthy childhood, but I did not,

because my mom will watch us show her the challenge. Let me say this correctly, because I don't want to get no trouble with my mom will watch the show show or the challenge. Let me say this correctly because I don't want to get no trouble. My mom, I didn't see, my mom was the strong one. My mom was the one who worked three to four jobs. I didn't really see love between my parents. I didn't see my parents as far as an expressing love.

I know they love each other. I didn't see them being vulnerable with each other. I didn't see, yeah, I didn't really see them holding hands, Sarah. I just saw my mom and dad working to provide. And so growing up, I was like, all right, cool. I need to work, she needs to work. We need to provide. But I didn't really see each side being vulnerable.

That's so, my bonus son, Isaiah told me one day when I was driving him to school. He said that when his parents were married, that he always saw them as mother and father, but it wasn't until his dad and I got married, that he saw husband and wife. And it's just crazy how our experiences really shape, you know, how we define relationships. That's what, yeah, I wanted, that's why I asked that question because I just

wondered has that been modeled for you? My parents were really loving growing up, but because they both came from homes where there was abuse. They never argued in front of us. They never had any conflict. They just would like sweep things under the rug, it'll blow over whatever, and then we'll dance around and kitchen and be fine. And so I've had to learn to express myself when it comes to conflict,

instead of letting there be this divide that can create bitterness. And so we're all learning and unlearning what we've been exposed to. So I think it's great that you're doing the work. Yeah, no, I have to. And that's something to me and my, I like how you said, bonus on my other father. So I have two step father.

I have two step parents and two biological parents. And both I love all four of them equal to white, but my father, I get my shrimp side, I get my never show weakness side for my mom's husband, my other father. He never, never, never showed emotion. Never, never, when he was nervous, we never saw it. Everything was, it's gonna be all right, let's get it done.

They never argued in front of us. Sarah, I'll be honest, I don't even know how my system, my brother got in life, because I never see them like, love each other. I'm saying, they never snuck off, it was just straight, less work, and that's it. And I'm like, wow, and so I've learned a lot of great things from my family. But then I also learned a lot of things that,

you know, I just, I don't want to bring that into my marriage. Yeah. One thing I love about Womany Ball is the community and safe space we've built with one another. I received countless messages with personal stories ranging from experiences with anxiety and depression to advice on how to settle family conflicts or work through self-esteem issues. I don't have all the answers, but I refuse to leave you all hanging.

Your mental health is too important to me. I want you to start living a happier life today, with assistance from BetterHelp. As a listener of the Waumani Vault podcast, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com slash Evolve. As safe and private online environment, BetterHelp assesses your needs before matching you with one of their licensed professional therapists. It's also free and easy to change your counselor if you need to in the future. Better help is more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available.

With the ability to message your counselor at any time, join over 1 million people taking charge of their mental health, it's convenient, affordable, and confidential. You can join today and start communicating in less than 24 hours and anytime after that. Again, that's better help H-E-L-P dot com slash evolve. Okay, I've an advice question for us because I don't want to run out of time and I know you won't have something to say. Oh Lord. Are you ready? I think so. I'm from the Caribbean.

I've been listening to your podcast and sermons for a while now. And I'm thankful for having such a great woman breathing life into my faith. I've been a Christian for about four years now since turning 19. For the most part has been really familiar to me. I say familiar because from a very young age, I've always been different. I looked at the world differently and I never really did what the world expected of me.

Some part of me knew there was more to life than what I was experiencing and I guess I didn't realize then the call of God on my life. But I'm just not sure where I am going or what I am doing honestly. I know for a fact that I love God and I want to live my life glorifying Him, but I just don't know what that looks like to be quite honest.

I grew up singing and dancing for the most part out of the church and very recently in church, but I'm not really sure what to go from here. I haven't figured out my purpose in this life. I would really appreciate some advice on how to serve God properly in my youth and how to deal with the loneliness and uncertainty in this season. And come on, Ebony, properly in my youth and how to deal with the loneliness and uncertainty in this season.

And come on, Ebony 30 under 30 youth inspirational leaders. I'm gonna let you kick this off. How old is she, sir? 19. I'm in the kitchen. And she's, yeah, I was just, okay, she says, thankful for four years now since turning 19.

So she's probably 23 now. And then I hear she's dating someone already? Um, no. Okay, go, go, go, go, great, great, great. Yes, yes. Yes. I'm in. Yes.

Amen. Yeah, it's simple for me, Sarah. You know, I think one of the things that I'm really teaching on right now when it comes to like my tribe is, let's focus on the vision, write your vision for your life. Because here's what I learned, when you have a clear vision, it sets you up for alignment. And it's an easy yes or it's an easy no.

So when you have a clear vision for your life and you really understand where God is taking you in life, where, how he is shifting you, where is he, what's your assignment? Then everything else is real easy. You can be like, yeah, I'm gonna do this or yes, you can be in my life or yes, I can be in your life or no.

And the no is so easy because it's like, hey, it doesn't align with the vision God has given me. And so what I would recommend to this young lady, is to really sit back, right? Cut off all your lies, cut off all of your, cut off all the social media. Get off social media for a while. And really just get before the Lord and just really say, God, I am in a place of, I am

lonely. I desire whatever you desire, whether that's friendships, relationships, networking with other like-minded people, whatever that is, just be honest and vulnerable with God. But tell God, I need a clear vision. What is my purpose on this earth? Why did you birth me? What do you want me to do? And then when he gives you that, focus on that and surround yourself with people

who will help you accomplish that vision. And people who are distracting you from that vision who's taking you away from that vision, they don't align with where you're going and simply say no. And so just hearing that, I would definitely say spend some time. I had to do that. Just recently, I did, I made a huge transfer in my own personal life. And I had to get off social media for a while.

I had to stop dating for a while. When I went a life, but God said, I needed to get back closer to me. Because now you need to redefine where you're going. You need to really better understand what's my purpose for you in your life. Sarah, when I got that man, I would definitely say loneliness doesn't come up

because I know that I'm on an assignment, but I'm still, I'm content with where I'm at because I know God has taken me somewhere and I know He'll bring me my life. And we'll put her in front of that path. Even friendship too. Yeah, friendship, because I think sometimes when we're lonely, we think the answer is relationship, but it could, we are communal in nature.

And so to be able to just have good friends is powerful. I think one of the most dangerous questions that we ask ourselves repeatedly is where do I go from here. And I think that's a dangerous question to ask because we end up discrediting what here could be trying to teach us. And if every time we arrive we're reaching for what's next, how can we ever come to a place of contentment? Perhaps a more powerful question to ask is what is here?

What is here for me? Who am I in this here? There is so much to discover about where you are right now to say that what do I do next, where do I go from here? It's putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. The very nature of God is progression. The very nature of God is evolution, your body is changing right now. The earth is moving right now. So if you get stuck here, you're still going to make progress. So the goal is to max out here so that when I get to there, I'm all of who I need to be for that next stage of life. And so at 23, I don't know that I would be asking, where do I go from here?

I think I would be discovering what here is trying to teach me about who I am. Stuart this season, well, that's it. Stuart this season, well, every season, 23, 24, 25, whatever you are, you said it. The keyword you said was maximize here. And then when you maximize here, when you steward this season well, then what you're doing, you're setting yourself up to be successful in the next season. God has given you.

And God is going to see, okay, I can trust her with this. I can trust him with this. All right. Here's the next level. You can handle that well because you steward and you maximize every opportunity, every season, every relationship, everything in this season, then go to the next. You teach it good, man.

You taking words out of my mouth. You so proud of you. Do you have any questions from me, anything that I can answer, not in grilled juice, I'm gone to your childhood, your future hood, your present hood. What, oh, this is so good. Yeah, this is so good. What is one advice that you've learned over what the last few years you've been doing

woman evolved that you would tell men. So you, you, you, you had your life. And then you have all these ladies that you've talked to, you've done all these conferences. If you can come back and give us one secret from all the single ladies out there, not the Mary Brothers God bless them. We talk to the single brothers, like me. What is one advice you will give us? We're not looking for a hero.

We're looking for a partner. If I could give men any piece of advice as it relates to what I've learned about women, it is that we don't need you to be our hero. We want you to be our partner. We don't need the business to be fully successful. We don't need you to be in the mansion. We don't need the fancy car. What we desire is partnership. We want to work with you to get to wherever we are headed. And the idea that you have to arrive and then you can come get us

makes us feel like we're a trophy and what we really want to be our collaborators and partners here on Earth. That's the one piece of advice that given man. Yeah, so I need to bring you back on my show. Let's do it. Because that answer, I would say, where are you shopping with those ladies? Because those ladies are not the ladies that are coming to my show. Really?

Oh, yeah. Because those ladies are who men what? Right now, I'm having to convince men to be men. Like focus and live in your space because most ladies are saying, hey, if you're not coming with six figures, if you're not coming with at least a nice car, we don't want you. Oh, yeah, I don't know those. Let me rewind.

Yeah. Let me rewind. The ladies that my brothers are encountering within my tribe. Let me think, yeah, yeah, let me, because I'm going to say every day, show, let me, let me, we change that. Because what you just said is so refreshing. I'm telling you brothers in my tribe, you're like, where are they?

Because you're coming. I do think that I think you're a strong personality. And I think that you likely attract very strong personalities to your brand and platform. And the only thing about a strong personality and a person who's not fully developed male or female is that that strength is seen as something that you need to compete with.

And so I can imagine that a lot of women approach your platform ready to tell you all, ready to prove that they got it together, just like you got it together. And it doesn't necessarily breed vulnerability. And so I do think that balancing the strength with the vulnerability, with the growth, like you're doing now, I think cast a larger net for people who can say, okay, I can be strong in this area too, but also need to talk to my therapist about what happened to me when

I was a kid. And I think that as we balance the narrative narrative that hopefully we'll see more balanced relationships. But almost every woman I know has told me that she had a man who told her I can't really date right now because I need to focus on my career. And she's like, I want to help you with your career. Like, I'm not asking you to not focus on your career. I just want to make sure you ate lunch. I just want to make sure that you feel like you have somewhere

that we can go to the movies and we can kick it, that you take a break and not put so much pressure on yourself. Like, I've met a lot of women who want to support your dreams, but they also do want to receive and return, but they don't want to take away from your momentum. And I think that honoring that could be very powerful. That's good, because what I heard you say was was it's not that she wants to get out there and work a hundred hours like you was like, Hey, we want to partner.

And how do we partner? That's best for us. Yeah. And I really do like that. That's that's strong. All right. Yes, Sarah, I reach out to your people. All right.

I'll bring you back on the show. I would love that. And for those who are listening who want to reach into your DMs, we're going to put it in the show description. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. You don't get me in trouble because I'm serious.

I'm looking forward to it. I really am looking forward to marriage life. I'm like, man, this is good. I'm 38 this year and I'm looking forward to it. You're gonna be an incredible husband, an incredible father if that's what you all desire and you're still gonna be an incredible leader in business man because you're doing the work.

So I have no doubt that when the right woman comes along that you guys are gonna inspire us all. Goodbye, good night. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I said it when we're talking. No, I said it when we're talking. Listen, do the clip. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you.

I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you.

I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say that I'm gonna tell you. did I go on to speak? Listen, I've matured so much and grown so much since then. And literally Sarah, I just got to say, oh, what you're doing with woman evolved? Absolutely amazing. I'm sitting like, wow, I met Sarah when she just started and look at what she has evolved into and look how she's using her message and evolving all ladies.

One request though. One request. I asked this to your husband three years ago. We need a version of the men involved with the involve. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Because I think that as you all are evolving, so do we need to evolve. So we can best serve and best partner.

So the next time you do a woman evolve conference, you know, grow get one evolve. Let's all evolve together, especially this one. So we can all come out there and really just evolve and grow together. I love that. I think it'll be a great, great, great idea because I might dang. Sarah's great, great, great idea

cause I might dang. Sarah's A's Robert's the truth and I'm just like, yeah, brothers, we wanna get around Torrey. Like, how do we get around that and get that kind of wisdom and grow? And I'm, man, listen, I'll be right there in the front row. Okay, I'm y'all holding here first. If y'all don't see Anthony on the front row,

then we have to charge him up cause we gonna do it. Listen, if you allow people at the woman evolved, I mean, men at the woman evolved confidence, we would be there on the front row trying to learn and listen, you, there are a lot of men who are really like, yo, we're not trying to come to woman evolved to hollet the ladies. Let's be honest. We're coming there so we can beat, we can get the wisdom and knowledge so that when we do see the woman

because we've been around other ladies, we've learned something and we can apply that wisdom and knowledge. So if you allow, man, obviously, right? I'm gonna be sitting in front row with you, woman evolve. I'll just be up in the balcony, take your notes, and I'll piece out. I'll just, I hit you in Tory up, say, thank you so much.

Learned a lot. I feel equipped now. Okay, I'm you in Tory, I was, hey, thank you so much. Learned a lot. Now, I feel, I feel equipped now. Okay. I'm holding you to that. Not for real. Thank you, sir. Best of luck in your new city. We're praying for you.

No, thank you so much. Yeah, I need it. DC is different. I used to live in DC for, yeah, it's different. For real? Yeah. I lived in Virginia right outside of DC, but I mean, I was in DC all of the time.

So the energy is different out there. I'm in PG County. Okay. You know what PG County stands for? Prince George it. No wait, what did it get? Prince George County. Right, but were you going to say it stands for something else?

Yes, ma'am. What? Pretty girls. Oh, my love. Pretty girls. Yeah. And let me tell you, chocolate city, the DMV got some baddies. DMV is like one of the strongest woman evolved markets. what? Pretty girls. Oh my love. Pretty girls. Yeah. And let me tell you, chocolate city, the DMV got some baddies.

DMV is like one of the strongest woman evolved markets and them girls becoming out. They bad. Listen Sarah, I went to the gym day one and I literally text my system. I said, hey, when will my gym be here for the house? Yeah, I can't do it. Cause I know I could not do it in my eyes. I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest, I'ma be So. Love you Sarah. Bye.

Peace. Okay. Be honest. You enjoyed having a fella in the week. Aive didn't you? Thank you for trusting me on this one. I promise I'm not going to steer us wrong. Single ladies.

Look out for Anthony's new course. The singles blueprint at the beginning of March. Anthony, thanks for kicking it with me and the delegation. Our mailbox for advice questions or to be my next co-host is always open, so shoot your shot at podcast at womanybawv.com. Also drop us in line to let us know what you enjoyed about this episode or previous episodes. We love hearing from you. Y'all take care. you