Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - The Revolutionary Power of Authenticity w/ Alexis Skyy

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

W.E. dunno who needs to hear this but…live your ugly truth in a BEAUTIFUL way! Our co-host Alexis Skyy is doing just THAT by stepping away from the social media reputation & into her authentic self. Keepin' it a buck with the Delegation, she shares of falling prey to human trafficking, toxic relationships, & depression. SJR says that your story shouldn’t begin where the pain invaded your soul & whew chile, wait a minute! In connecting with God & healing from trauma, our good Sis is evolving into a position of power! Press PLAY to hear Alexis’ message to young girls, followed by relationship advice. Then, claim your sponsorship offers at Noom.com/Evolve + ShipStation.com use code EVOLVE + Skillshare.com/Evolve. Tell ‘em W.E. sent you!

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a tea you need boundaries. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God party for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Try. We're fresh off inviting men into our safe space and I'm glad we did. And it sounds like you all were glad that we did too because I saw the comments and the socials you all loved hearing from the men. So we're not doing that again. This is March. It's Women's History Month. And all month long, we're gonna be talking about revolutionary power.

Revolutionary power is not necessarily the type of power that makes us always feel strong and courageous, but it's knowing that we're reaching for something more meaningful and powerful. That is exactly what Alexis Sky is doing. She is a love and hip-hop alum and she's also a woman on a journey of evolving. I am so honored that she chose woman evolved to share her heart, her scars, and her hopes

with. Make room and make space in your world for Alexis Sky, this is a version of her, you have not met yet. Okay, so for Waman Evolve, each month, we have a word of the month. So this year, 2022 is the year of the revolution. And for March, which is Women's History Month, we're talking about revolutionary power. And I feel like this is such an interesting subject because women often find power in things that drain them or power in things that feel superficial. And it takes a lot of intentionality to come to a place where you desire or hunger authentic power that isn't shaken, that isn't ego or pride, but feels like confidence and humility. It's this dance. How would you define power? I would define power just pretty much on how you make it and how you use it. My power, I feel like,

I don't, I feel like God gave me a gift and I didn't really know my purpose and I realized after a while I just kept doing the same things and I'm like okay what is it why am I this girl why am I Alexis guy what is my power and I blest my power is to help other young women that look up to me they don't know my story but help them get through self confidence just self worth loving them themselves and I realize that power now. So that's what I mean, like defining the power. Sorry, I'm a little nervous. No, no, that's fine.

But so I just realized my power now. I didn't realize how power I am and how much people I touched just by speaking to them what my story. So that's what I mean by power. Alex, you are so beautiful. And I think like on the outside looking, and I think most girls are like, she's, she's bomb.

Like she got everything. I'm in the gym trying to get. She's got goals. It seems like she's moving towards this career. And yet you say you just found your power, your sense of identity. So I want to ask you, you know, because this is woman evolved.

So like we're all women on a journey evolving. Who were you before? Like what did you think your power was in? So I think to be honest, I'm a Jew all the way real. I becoming a Lexus guy. It was so much that came with it. I didn't know like people were booking me for events and I'm just known as like the sexy sex symbol and I just was so tired of being known as that girl because it's so much more to me than just

Standing in a club being sexy taking pictures like I have a story behind me. I'm as I'm human I'm just everybody knows I believe I have pain like and I just felt like I got so tired of being known as that person. So I just really just need to get entuned with myself and who I really am. And really let people know there's another side of me. So that's the journey that I'm on now with people seeing this other side. Other than being half naked on Instagram or being in a club, I'm a woman, I'm a mother, I want to be a wife. I'm just like everybody else, but not saying unfortunately because Alexis guy made me who I am today. It's just that

many people got to see me in a different light. And this is who I am. And it's kind of hard once you have that like label put on you. It's more so like, oh, it like the sky she's just a IG girl like I'm more than a IG girl so. Oh they're like so many different things I want to talk about because I feel like and you know what I'm like I feel like right now I let Instagram overtake my mindset I let Instagram control when I wake up I let it affect me so many different ways. I will wake up and be scared if I'm being a blog today Or somebody's gonna be attacking me or my daughter Instagram has really like controlled me like a robot and I had to really just take a break from social media and Do a cleanse because at that point I was allowing that to win

And so once I realized listen, I got to get up and not care what these people think and be who I am And that's what I'm doing every day and now they're looking at me like my god This is new Alexis. No, you guys are not understanding the path. I am this is always an excess But this is you guys never accepted it Okay, so I'm gonna give you a multiple choice you get to pick which question you answer I I'm gonna give you a multiple choice. You get to pick which question you answer. I either want to know who is Alexa's guy, the version that no one gets to see. What is this story?

You keep saying I have a story. What is your story? Or I want you to talk about shedding the skin of who you used to be and living boldly in who you are now. Multiple choice. You get to choose. Okay, I choose the last one. Okay. So the skin that I'm shedding right now, so the older Lexus, I will say,

I'm like, I said, I use party a lot. I use to smoke. I use to drink. I use to just be dating and just doing things like, I shouldn't be doing. Not living in the right, the right path and I just started realizing, like, God, wipe me clean, wipe me clean because I wasn't living in his papers, I wasn't living the right way, I lost everything. I went to my businesses to the point where I was at rock bottom and I had to stop and think

like sometimes we take things for granted and we don't realize it like I'm having all these bags and just drooling and this and that but yeah the money's coming in but it's not clean money and that's why I'm not being blessed because of all the dirty money that I'm collecting so I had to stop and think he was just grabbing left to right to the point where I was just like I had nothing left And I didn't even have me left. I was just what is happening? So that moment I stopped I prayed I asked God like what is it that I'm doing and he spoke to me and he said you have to remove Remove everybody. So I had to move friends family members just Just environments and I started removing and he started replacing

what better. When it changed me as a person. So every day, I might have lost this, but something else better came into my life. So I would say maybe October, maybe October, that's when everything really hit me. I suffered a real, real bad depression. I was eating. I gave me like 15 pounds. I just want to give up. I didn't care no more. I don't want to do anything But I knew I had a daughter and I knew I couldn't give up on her So at that moment I was like, you know what Alexis? I need to get to myself together. I just started praying praying praying I lost all my businesses and at this point like what do I have left? God? What is my purpose? What is what do you want me to do? Like I felt lost. I didn't know what to do anymore

But all these people I get on Instagram all day and they praise me and they don't even realize what I'm going through or what I'm feeling or what direction I'm lost just like you. But you guys, I keep it together for you guys because y'all think this is what I have to do every day in order to be a life-sized guy. So at that moment, I was like, you know what? I'm about to just be where where really am. I'm about to let them learn where really am. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of hiding behind this. And I just went for everything I wanted. I started manifesting. I started praying. I asked God to, you

know, you never got as a selfish guy. You can't pray for them. And you have to ask God to send the right man in your life. So I started praying. I asked him to send me the right man. I asked him to bring me on the right path. And everything just started flowing into my life the right way. I'm still currently hosting events, but I'm slowly getting out of that.

And I think he gave me a power in the woman's branch. So instead of me having to go to the clubs to host, I'm not going to be doing brunches, helping women love on themselves, self love, and mental health is super big. I suffered from depression, so there's a lot of women that suffer from all these things, so I just want to be able to help every woman that I can. So this is where I'm at with everything now. So now this is the new axis. I'm still Alexis. I'm just in a whole different path. Okay, so I kind of lied to you because I said it was multiple choice,

but maybe I should have said, you just get the tools which order you answer them in because I want to know. I want to know about the scars. I want to know about who you were before we knew Alexis guy. I want to know about those things that you don't want to share

because let me tell you, that's where all the power is. That's where, let me just say this, because I, I'm not gonna leave you out there by yourself. Yeah, girl, that's what we came to do. This woman evolved, we came to go deep. I'm gonna go deep with you. I'm not gonna leave you out there by yourself.

I'm gonna make sure that there's a floaty within reach. But I wanna say this, I think part of the reason that I've been able to connect with so many different women is because I told the ugly truth. And nothing changes. Oh, no, someone told me this. What's from the heart reaches the heart. And it's one thing to want something and to believe in it. And it's another to really walk it out. And I know that you have walked it out. But if we're going to go grab those girls who are still on that journey, we got to go back and find our own steps.

So what's your story? OK, so I'll start my left home at 15. Wow. 15, 16 years old I was run away. Um home was my mom, my dad, my grandmother, one of my parents. Okay. I was turning around 16. I had a great family. All of women, my mom was single mother. She worked, she took care of us, she was an amazing mom. I just was rebellious. She worked overnight.

She didn't really like, not saying she didn't have the time, she was just providing for us as a mother should. But I just was rebellious and I ran out into the streets of Atlanta and I got caught up in a lot of things that could have took my life. I was kidnapped. So, and I was held hostage by Millill, and I was part of a human trafficking.

So I was sold off to certain people at a time. I actually had a book written about it, but I didn't really think people took me serious because they were like, you're lying. And I was so scared to even open up about that story, and I wanted to just help younger girls, because I was in the club dancing at a young, at underage, being sort of different men and being raped and humiliated at a young age. So that happened, and then I started dancing, and that that became my life because that's all I knew.

That's what I was taught. You know what I mean? I was all I knew and my parents didn't know what was going on because I was just gone. You know what I mean? They didn't know. They each tried to find me but they didn't. That was in the beginning stage of my life. And then like I said, our dance for about three years and I got stuffed up in that life. And then, like I said, I danced for about three years and I got hooked up in that

life, like drugs, alcohol, pills. It was just so much happening. And I just broke it. I was a broken soul. I was just completely broken. And then I met a dude and he took me out the club. He kind of changed my life. And I feel like that part of my past has affected me through everything else because at that point, it was just like I'm so used to all these men just like taking and using and abusing that I would just go back the same type of dude so it just became a pattern in my life literally.

Same type of dude, It toxic and abusive. If it wasn't one thing, I was in another situation getting beat on. It's that. So I wanted that for years of my life. And then I had my beautiful daughter. And I was in LA. I had my beautiful daughter.

I had her at five months. I wish she was 24 weeks. she was one pound four ounces. I almost died having her. She was, she's really my miracle. She's a miracle baby. Doctors told me she was going to walk, she wasn't going to talk, she wasn't doing anything and my daughter is doing everything. And at that very moment, that's when I knew, I never, it's not like I didn't believe God, but that's when I knew God, I knew God was real. I wasn't into God, I should have been. But when I got on knees and pray, when the doctors told me she started breathing, I prayed and I cried and I screamed out to him and I realized, you know, there's a God.

And at that very moment, I got connected. I said, the doctors told me she wasn't going to do all these things. I was just in fear. Like, what did I do to deserve this? And what did she do to deserve this? And she started walking. She started talking. She's talking too much. And all this was through prayer. And but even at that moment, I did get connected with God but here I am still living this life that I shouldn't be living I'm still doing the same thing so it just became a repeating cycle for me and I'm just going after relationship after relationship after relationship after relationship and I'm trying to figure out what is wrong with me like am I like I don't know which one am I not healed and my not did I not like old the past so

I feel like where I'm at now I don't want to say I'm a hundred percent healed because I'll be lying to myself I feel like I still have a lot of past dramatic things that I'm holding on to but I'm trying to heal In every way possible, but that is pretty much my story from the beginning to now I probably left that a little bit of apart to it, but it gets deeper. Becoming healthy and understanding the why behind certain food choices is an approach that I think we all need. Thanks to Noom, Wade's cognitive approach,

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of the noom weight program. Stop waiting and sign up today that's's in oom.com slash evolve to start your free trial today. You're like me in that when someone asked me my story my initial thing is to like tell them okay I got pregnant when I was 13 years old because I feel like people want to know like when did your life get off track? And I've been doing a lot of inner work to really come to a place where I understand,

like, my story didn't begin where the trauma met me, my story didn't begin where the pain invaded my soul. And I think that when you've been marked by trauma that you find yourself identifying with the trauma and not realizing you were a person before then. Do you think that you've been able to reconcile with why you left the house at 15? And this isn't from a place of judgment, because I'm going to share, so I'm in therapy, like, you know, most, I think everybody's in therapy these days, especially after the pandemic,

but my therapist takes me on this journey, and she was like, I want you to go back to when you were 13, and I'm like, eh, okay, and she's like, I want you to tell me like, what would you say to that girl? And you know, who feels like she lost her innocence, who feels like something happened to her, happened to her that she can never recover from. And I was like, I would tell her, you know,

you're gonna be okay, you'll be fine, everything's gonna work out blah, blah, blah. And she was like, but can you tell her that her innocence has not been lost? And I was like, no, because it has been. And she says, and until you can see that it hasn't been, you're gonna always be unhealed. You're gonna always be penalizing yourself

for that moment. So I went on this whole journey and basically recounted who I was before I got pregnant and realized like I was super angry as a kid. I was angry for a lot of reasons, but I think the majority of them was like, our life changed overnight. I felt like I lost my parents overnight

to this like ministry and church that was bigger than us and like, yes, they were providing and yes, they were changing the world, but I felt like I lost my identity and I was really angry about that. I think that's why I ended up loving hip-hop culture and rap music,

because so much of it was filled with anger and that's how I felt. And when I could see how angry I was, I was able to have more compassion for why I ended up pregnant because at the end of the day, I was looking for something to help me feel better. So I say all of that to say, have you been able to do that type of work within your own life yet? So go back to reason why I left.

That's a good question because I don't, I can have a reason to leave. I think, um, I think I was lacking something with my mom. I think my mom and I were lacking maybe communication. Mm-hmm. But, um, that, I had no, I just, I wanted to be grown. Yeah. You know, I was, I was seeing music videos, I was in movies. I just wanted to be grown and Once I got a taste of it, I didn't stop and it was just like, you know, I would see gal

It started from me sneaking out Going to the clubs sneak it in the clubs and I was just like my you know, my mom We lived in the suburbs of Atlanta, so I lived 40 minutes out the city So I'm in by the farms and the cal You know going to, where everything's at, I'm like, oh, this is what life's really about, and I left, and I just wanted freedom, and I wanted to be free. And so I really don't, I didn't have a reason. That's why, you know, my message for young girls is like, like, cherish the momentary appearance, don't rush leaving if I had if I can go back I would say home time was 21. I mean I mean

Lush to leave home. I wish I could back and it would have saved me from a lot of things Mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying? It's nothing out in the streets so like when I and I try not to go to your clubs because it makes me very Uncomfortable because I know what's going on. Yeah, I know what's happening and I have like a very uncomfortable because I know what's going on. I know what's happening. And I have like a, just there, not a real sister, but a little girl that I call a sister that I know that's in the club.

And when I look at her, I see me. And it's just like, it's so crazy because like, I didn't know I was that person. And I'm watching and I see it. And it's just like, I gotta stop it. I wish I can just go to those clubs, wipe them, clean, get those girls up out of there. Because it's just, it's that role. It's a dark role that you don't want to put out.

Especially in Atlanta. I think about that because you know, you still wait for Sadist Trip Club. And I think about all the time, how many like walk into the car by myself, being out there and like how, how much grace was following me even in my own folly. And you know, I think sometimes we make it seem like a person has to do a lot of work to get back in relationship with God, but the truth is that God is with us no matter where we are. We're just focused on different things.

And I think the evidence of God being with us is in the protection that we experience when we were really out here doing our own thing. And it sounds like you're coming to a place where you are embracing and accepting that regardless of what you've gone through, that your life still has value and still has purpose and can be used to serve someone else.

It feels like you're coming to this place of being able to serve other people. Is that? Yeah. Yeah, I want to actually like one of the projects that, you know, it's been on my mind, heavy. I don't really know how I'm going to start it, but I want to create a sky house for women that are being pimped for our being abused or our toxic situations that, you know, they need to come somewhere to heal and we get them together. So that's something I want to definitely do to help other women. It's just like I said, I think I need to just heal myself first and get on right path in the right journey and then I'll be able to help others because I can't help others

when I'm not fully all the way right, you know. How will you know when you're healed? I don't know, I feel like I'm going to do it now. I know I'm not fully healed yet. I will rely to myself. There's just those things I need to work on with them myself, but I don't know if I need to go to counseling, maybe I need to release. I think releasing is one of the biggest things of healing is letting it go. I've held my story for so long and then when I did, you know, let it be told to the world, it was like they made a joke about it,

and they clowned me for it, and it kinda made me not everyone to speak off I went through, so it's like, all right, well, yeah, I don't care what happened to me anyway, so I'm also continuing to be in this girl, and being this vixen, and, because I don't care, you know what I mean? So it's just like, I want my story to be told

the right way, and I wanna be able to help the right way. Oh, that gave me chills when you said that, if you tell your story to a certain group of people, friends, family, the public and it makes you feel inadequate or it makes you feel like your story isn't valuable, your immediate inclination is to protect yourself. Like I'm not going to do that again, but I want to challenge you and maybe someone else who's listening to really comprehend and understand this concept that if you told your story to someone and they discarded it, then that story wasn't for them. But that doesn't mean that your story doesn't have value.

And Alexis, I believe that you are telling your story to the right people. Like, I know how many of all, I to the right people. I know women evolve. I know the women connected to this movement. And so many of them want to tell their story. They want to talk about sexual abuse. They experienced as a child. They want to talk about going to school and having these dreams, or stories that are laughable

to other people, but are their truth. And I feel like you even just sharing right now is going to give them courage to do the same thing. But I just want you to know that there is a space for your voice, there is a space for your story. I don't care who laughed at it in the past. I don't care how many comments there were in the past. Like those one, because I know you're like,

if your page is like mine, there's like people who say things and then there's that one comment that's like, thank you for doing this, but all we hear is the negative stuff. I am telling you, that's it, that's it. That goes back to show how I've allowed social media to control me like a robot because I'm a post something positive

and I might get 50 likes. One of my posts something sexual and like they, I get a million likes, you know what I'm saying? And then the comments, all of my posts something sexual and like they, I get a million likes, you know what I'm saying? And I think the comments, all of a read is a negative and I have to stop reading the negative focus on the positive that people are saying about me is something I'm trying to work on

but as far as like, see it Instagram. There's something about this spring that has convinced us to get rid of everything. As shoppers love it because we get to finally buy items we've been eyeing while taking advantage of the seasonal sales and as business owners, we love it because the sales allow us to make space for new inventory. Even with the influx of sales, none of us using ship station have to worry about high shipping cost. We make ship happen with shopwoman evolve and I love how easy it is for us to find carriers

that have deeply discounted shipping rates. Ship more and less time with ship station. Use my offer code Evolve to get a 60 day free trial that's two months free of no hassle, stress free trial. That's two months free of no hassle, stress free shipping. Just go to shipstation.com, click the microphone at the top of the page and type evolve. I feel like God's positioning you to be a front runner and a change that has to take place in our culture. I think we have pushed the limits to the extreme of liberation and sexuality and like I think we have pushed the limits to the extreme of liberation

and sexuality. And I think we've pushed it to the extreme. I think the pendulum went from women just being restricted and couldn't be sexual at all to like, OK, now we're going to be overly sexual. We're going to put it all out there. And I feel like the pendulum has to find a place in the middle. The only thing about when it swings into the middle

is that the front part of that pendulum gets to the middle first. And it feels like you're moving into the middle, and you just don't realize that there is so many other people who are going to be coming right behind you to find that middle ground, too. And I feel like, I don't know, I just hear Moses that God's pulling you out of it so that you can heal

and regroup and regather, but he's going to call you back to it. And when God calls you back to it, it's going to be a someone who's carrying the power of liberation, the power of being able to deliver. And you're going to have the scars and the testimony to India 19. I want to emphasize that and underscore the anointing to help a generation really find authenticity and power that is literally revolutionary for themselves and for everyone connected to them. Does that resonate with you? Yes. Yeah. You're called and I don't know if you've ever been affirmed in that. But you are, you are called.

I don't believe that there is one person on the earth who cannot be used for God's glory. And yet I realized like my own story, like your story that sometimes we go through these situations and circumstances and end up feeling like, you know what? I'm a leave that to the other people. I'm a let someone else do that. I'm not worthy. I'm not good enough.

And I just want to come up against any seeds, any thoughts that exist in your mind that would make you believe that you are not good enough or that your story doesn't matter and that your life doesn't matter because Alexis, you're gonna reach more people than I ever could. You're gonna help people who would never listen to my word, never listen to my message. And literally the kingdom of heaven needs Alexis Sky, everything that she's gone through,

all of the things you've shared and haven't shared in order to wrap your arms around those girls. So if one of those girls are listening right now and they don't believe in their worth and they don't believe in their value, they don't believe that their story matters. What would this Alexa guy say to them? I'm gonna tell them never to give up on anything

that they wanna do. Don't allow one person in the room to stop your dream. It's keep going and to just get closer to God and pray and go. Yeah. How many times you get knocked down, you get knocked down four times, come back up four times. So what's your dream for your life? My dream, my life right now is like I said, just want to help the woman I see myself helping open the gates and open my arms to other women and um just that's the only one right now yeah I love that I it's crazy because I said to myself

well what do I want to be like what do I want to do and I have to really act like what is my purpose I'm more than just elected sky. I'm more than just a host. So I want to be able to help my calling and that's my purpose. And I figured out my purpose was to help other people. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to do it. So I'm going to start with my branches, start there. And then hopefully I can open up the sky house and keep going from there.

And hopefully get a some movie, get us to my acting. Hey. and keep going from there and hopefully get some movie, get some acting. Hey! Let's learn more. Now, you already know that I love the folks at Skillshare. Their commitment to expanding our knowledge, purposely living out the saying, you learn something new every day, and they mean it. Skillshare is sponsoring this episode and they're giving us a one-month free trial on Skillshare.com slash evolve. If you're anything like me and you're committed to being a forever student, tapping into your creativity or you just want to make a splash of something new

to your life by picking up a new hobby, then Skillshare is for you. I've been having fun creating social media lately. Skillshare has a class that will help me tell an engaging story in less than a minute. It's the video for Instagram with Holly, Snarves, and it's one that I need to sign up for. Explore your creativity on Skillshare.com slash evolve and get a one month free trial. There are so many things that you could probably be doing even with like outreach programs in Atlanta that are helping women who have been you know maybe they're rediscovering their purpose, rediscovering their life after

experiencing trauma or abuse and even volunteering there randomly may do a lot to fuel your passion and to give you the immediate knowledge that even though you are not healed, it doesn't mean that you can't serve because I honestly feel like healing is a journey. That's why I actually, when did you think that you would be healed? Because I'm still triggered.

Like I still have spontaneous age regression. That's what this book that I read calls it where I go back to being myself at a certain age where I'm defensive and I'm angry. The only difference now is that the adult version of me can tell that broken side of me, like, you're okay, you're safe, release those emotions. So I think healing is a dance, not a destination. I just want you to find comfort in the fact

that it's a process, but you can be used for good, even though you're in process. I agree. Okay, we're gonna answer an advice question. Are you ready? It says, hello. How do you know when to leave a marriage or relationship after infidelity?

I married and remarried my husband. The first time we were married for six years and I left because of infidelity. We remarried in 2018. I thought he had changed, but behavior is the same. That's the whole question. Whether I'm the audio-real relationship advice for me. It's probably not to be that sexy. You got to know your strengths.

I'm gonna be real. I'm actually in a different, I'm in a different relationship right now. I'm in a very good, I used to be toxic girl. I would even know how to really, I don't know how to answer that question yet. I'm still working myself. I have a good man that I'm trying to become a wife right now. You better. The Alexis, a few years ago, a few months ago, and toxic. Well, okay, she's giving E vibes. No better, but don't do better.

And we love E even around here. So I just, I want you to give it a shot, though. I want you to try and answer. Like, what is your initial immediate, your initial immediate, your initial immediate, It's no better, but don't do better. And we love even around here. So I just, I want you to give it a shot though. I want you to try and it's like, what is your initial immediate thought on what this woman should do? Okay.

Can you repeat it for me? Sure, she wants to know when to leave a marriage slash relationship after infidelity. I married and remarried my husband. The first time we were married for six years and I left because of infidelity. We married in 2018. I thought he had changed, but behavior is the same. Okay. So if she, if she left and then remarried him and he still acting the same, then I would leave. Yeah. Because that's what they meant for her. Yeah. Yeah than I would leave. Yeah. Because that's not the man for her.

Yeah. Yeah, I would leave. And I think that that's a great advice. I think that if she gave it another shot for her marriage and she tried it again, and a man is still showing the same actions, he's not the man for you. A man knows what he wants to do. A man knows where he wants to be.

And a man knows how to treat a woman. So at the end of the day, I said, he wants to treat her that way. And I'll tell you, and I'm going to just take it a step further. I think that she should leave with the intent of discovering why she went back. And I think a lot of times when we're in relationships where we experience infidelity, there is a part of us that is cheating on ourselves to be in their relationship first. So the fact that the person cheated is one thing, but we probably cheated on our standards, on our integrity, on our morals, and our values in order to be in that relationship in the first place, which is why it is so painful when that person cheats on us because it's like, I already betrayed myself to stay in this relationship. The least you can do is honor my betrayal, not realizing that healthy relationships

do not require you betray yourself in order to show up in that relationship. And so I would leave with the intent of figuring out what is it about this relationship that continues to make me drawn to it. What is it about this person that is feeding something inside of me? And I think that doing that level of work is really important for us in any relationship we have.

Yeah, I definitely think she figure out what her weakness is with him and where she's weak at relationship we have. I definitely think she figured out where her weaknesses were, you know, where she's weak at and where she's vulnerable to him and why she went back, like you said. And once you could, you know, define that, then she'll be able to be able to move on. There's nothing like being vulnerable to a certain type of person in a relationship. But when you figure out why you're vulnerable to that person and you decide like I never, like I think my turning point for me

and my most toxic relationship was me saying, I don't like who I am when I'm in that relationship. Like you don't even have anything to do with you anymore. Like I don't want you to be faithful. I don't want you to be the man in my dreams. Like I am tired of who I am when I'm in this relationship. That's all, like I said, like my past relationships, like when I met my toxic, I was always a person that ran.

I was always a person that just, once I just didn't my way with something where I felt like it was something, I just left, I left, I left, I left, I left. I never stood it out, I never communicated, I never tried to make it work. I just like, I'm out I never stood it out, I never communicated, I never tried to make it work, I'm just like, I'm out. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so, wife vibes. When you say you're working on becoming a wife, let's get into this. Okay. I'm not going to ask you about you, man, I'm not going to get into your business. But like, are you like making biscuits? What is like wife Alexa's got? What are we doing in order to do this wife stuff? Well, we just got our first home together.

And we're here now, actually currently, just went in like maybe a month ago. But I have a routine. I mean, I'm very in a bed. I've always been domestic type of person because of how my mom did raise me. Like when she was at work, I was the one that cooked and cleaned.

I have all brothers. So I was always taking care of my brother. So I genuinely just know how to gnash and take care of her man but like I said some of those years I didn't really do that. So now I'm in a space where I'm doing laundry, I'm gonna shoot, I make breakfast, cook dinner, I go to the gym, we have a little gym day and um yeah so I'm just molding myself. I don't really go out to the club party. There's no nothing in the to the club party. Um, there's nothing in the club screen anymore. I'm just thinking, you know, I'm pretty much at home,

watching Netflix, waking up, taking care of my daughter and my routine, working on business stuff, and just comparing my own in that direction. You look really happy. Thank you. How long has it been since you've been this happy? Like, is this the happiest you've ever been? In a while, yes. Hmm. I want to speak for a moment about the women who have shaped you and molded you, whether you're closer than or not. So, like, who are the top three influential women who have helped you in your life.

Like family members or just anybody? Anybody? Well, you're one of them. You don't have to say that. You're one of them and you might not believe me, but I post your messages on my... I literally watched all your messages Mom and For sure your messages helped me and it's touched me and it actually made me stop and rethink about a lot of things One of my favorite ones is how to prepare for your next. That's my favorite

Yes, so you're one of the persons there my mom She definitely is a very strong hard working woman and my grandmother. Yeah, amazing. So, what is a generational blessing that you have from your grandmother and mother that you're passing down to your daughter? I think how we care for our kids, my mother and my grandmother, they've cared for, like I said, I came from an amazing, I'm Caribbean, my family's Jamaican. I came from a Jamaican household, so they were very strict, they're really, you know, especially being the only girl, but they just had a nurse, a care for us, love on us, and this is

the same thing with my daughter, I'm blessed to even have that. So, and it sounds like even though you went through all of the things that you went through that your mother and grandmother were a safe space for you. Can you talk a little bit about that journey and navigating tough seasons with your parents even though you're an adult? Yeah, so no matter what I've done, I know I could go back home and call my mom, my grandma. They never gave up on me until this day. My mom argued like sisters.

My grandma raised me more. It was more like a mother figure to my grandma. My mom beat bump heads a lot, but I love her dearly. But I love the fact that I'm always, it doesn't matter what I do. I probably wake up into the worst thing in the world. My mom still opens those doors for me and ask her I don't she still just gives me the best advice and I don't think she she's never once judge me. I could say that. Wow and your grandmother she she she my grandmother

You're my girlfriend. She's like that my grandma has a jacket accent. So she'll call me and she starts cursing him Jamaican Without my grandma down my back. It's all I love my grandma actually helped raise my daughter. My daughter has special needs. So My grandma she actually lives in New York and I just moved to Atlanta. So I'm letting her finish school But I said in New York for two years and my guys helped me raise her um, and I don in New York for two years and my God has helped me raise her. And I don't know what it is. My God just has this power in her and she's helped my daughter's drive so much and she's have elated her and she prays over her every day, runs her down with milk and she just keeps

her in church and Sunday's my daughter prays. It's crazy. She's like literally prays every day before bed. She starts singing Jesus loves me every day. She is literally anointed and she's literally a girl Okay, so all right. I'm I'm almost back to let you go But maybe somebody's listening and their daughters like on a path or granddaughters on a path And they're like I just want to rescue or I just wish you would listen to me And they're like about to give up on her.

You have this incredible testimony. Like, can you tell them how do I continue? How does someone continue to show up for a daughter whose lifestyle they may not agree with, but they don't want to lose her altogether? Like how can they become a safe space so that when she does want to change and transform, she comes to them first. I think giving up on your child is the wrong way to go because parents, the number one thing,

especially with teenage young girls, communicating with your child, there's a lot of young girls that don't know if they're gay or they're straight. You don't know what they're suffering. You don't know what type of depression that they're dealing with. So speaking to them and every day asking them, are you okay? Is anything you want to talk to me about? type of depression that they're dealing with. So speaking to them and every day asking them, are you okay? Is anything you want to talk to me about? Even if you don't like it, still accept it.

That's my biggest advice. You might not like the fact that your daughter likes girls, but at the same time, don't bash them for it. Don't make them feel like, you know, they already have to deal with the outside society. Don't make them feel like they can't come home and feel like home and they're safe, haven't. So always speak to your kids,

always love on your daughters, always love on your sons and embrace them and just pray over them. That's my best but my best advice to pray over them. If you don't like it, ask God to remove it, ask God to show them a different, show them a different light, show them something else other than what they're doing. And I know my mom prays over me every day. I know she might not agree with everything I do and everything I say. Like I said, we argue like sisters, but I know she doesn't give up on me. No matter how she might, you know, hold her little grudge for like two weeks and my dad's been to me, but we'll be back so you can. Oh, I love it, Alexis. Thank you so much. Thank you for this time to get there.

Thank you so much for having me. This is a great, great opportunity. And I appreciate you for even having me here. This is a great, great opportunity. And I appreciate you for even having me here. This is really like one of my dreams. So the world is not going to have any choice but to take you seriously. So keep showing up in your truth and in your vulnerability. And I can't wait until you get the feedback from Waman Evolve about how this podcast has helped them.

You're a blessing already. You don't even know it. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. Take care. Thank you. I'm waiting for another video. I got you. Bye.

Shout out to Alexis Sky for letting the delegation see a side of her that the world has yet to see, but will soon become well aware of. She's no different from the friend you have that's evolving, that friend that is you, you know who you are. The one you should nominate also to be my next co-host. Send me an email with a one to two minute video to podcast at woman evolve.com and let us know what makes your home girl or yourself a great co-host and what can the delegation learn from you. I'm interested in being a co-host and what can the delegation learn from you?

I'm interested in being a co-host, don't even worry about it. You can still send us your advice question. Use the same email so we can mind your business for you. See you next week. you