Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - The Revolutionary Power of History w/ Blessin Giraldo

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

In this episode, SJR is choppin’ it up with Blessin Giraldo, founder of an award-winning step team, actress, & model. Supported by a tribe of women to help reach her full potential, Blessin spills t...he tea on how to achieve success despite your background. The two discussed powerful lessons of their past, how W.E. get it from our mammas, & passing on generational blessings! Our girl SJR says to R E F U S E the belief that you can't hang in the places where you're called & Sis, W.E. felt that for somebody! Learn more about the dance documentary at SearchLightPictures.com/StepMovie. Then, hit up our sponsors at Novo.co/Evolve for small business banking + Audible.com/whattodo for a personal development podcast that'll REVOLUTIONIZE your life + BetterHelp.com/Evolve where W.E. encourage mental health checkups + Skillshare.com/Evolve to learn something NEW errryday!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 God can't bless you for tend to be or who you can care yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a unique boundary. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God fighting for me that's there for all things. All things, all things. There's something about having good things to look forward to and I must say being able
Starting point is 00:00:34 to connect with you all on a weekly basis is one of those something good on my list. If you've seen the Hulu show step, then you know looking towards something good in the future is what my co-host, Blessin Gerardo is all about. Sish is a multi-hyphenant with a blindingly bright future ahead of her. Let's see what's been going on in her world and what she's looking forward to. Blessin, how are you? I'm doing pretty good, how are you? I'm doing great, I'm so glad this worked out. Me too, me too. How've you been? I've been pretty good.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Pretty good, can't complain. God is good. What are you? What's the deal you win? Baltimore. Okay, so you're still in Baltimore. I am. Amazing. Okay, so I have things to do you so I was home with my girls
Starting point is 00:01:29 Friday or Saturday. No, it's Monday, it's President's Day. They were out of school. And I was just flipping through documentaries to watch and I saw your documentary and we sat down and we watched it and it was so inspiring, so beautiful. My five year old six year old daughter Ella was like, Mommy, I think we can do that.
Starting point is 00:01:48 We can start our own step team. And then so I had to stalk you to see like, what happened, where are you now? What's going on with your world? So thank you for doing this and thank you for letting me stalk you. Oh, thank you for having me and thank you for stalking me.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Or I would be here today. Yeah, when I was on that your page, I couldn't tell if you were still in Baltimore and that but yeah, it seems like you have a lot of love for your city. I do I love my city. I like the travel as well, but home is where the heart is. I love it. When I talk about having power in your history, what is the first memory that comes to mind that makes you think about power in your history? Even if that memory doesn't necessarily seem the most powerful. I would have to say cleaning the house on Sundays with my mom and sisters. I'm just seeing the dynamic of family and love and self-identity. That was like my first experience, like my first hand experience came from family. Wow.
Starting point is 00:02:53 And my mom. Wow. And after telling your mom, she seems like such a full presence. And I can see how, so it's so funny even looking at you like and it's not like I even know you right I watched your documentary once I'm like you look like your mama. I do I get better live I get that a lot. Can you talk to me about how the roles of the women in your life have helped to shape who you are today and the way that you think and show up in the world? Oh yeah um without the women in my life immediately like my support system today and the way that you think and show up in the world? Oh, yeah. Without the women in my life, immediately like my support system,
Starting point is 00:03:30 everybody needs support. And without my support, I probably wouldn't have been able to do it alone, specifically from like my mom and Miss Dolfad. And a few of the ladies mentioned in a documentary, it took a entire army to help me finally see, your full potential. And that tends to happen a lot with like different people, owning your own power, even discovering your own power.
Starting point is 00:03:54 So my family and my sisters, of course, my sisters and the staff at the school. And people that really just saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. They really helped shape me and was a major support growing up. So you got to lean on the people around you to get to where you're trying to go. You know, I was thinking as you were speaking about how our village plays such an incredible role in being our first interaction with power. And that first interaction with power. And that first interaction in power is generally borrowed power, right?
Starting point is 00:04:29 We've borrowed someone's sense of confidence. We've borrowed someone's sense of love and identity until we find our own. I feel like for me, when I look back over my life, there's a lot of power in my history. My parents have shown up in incredible ways to help others, my grandmother, like it dates back for generations. And yet I feel like for me, I went through a season where there was a disconnect where I could see the power in my history, but I didn't think that it was inside of me. I didn't feel like I was ever empowered by that. Have you ever felt like I see the power that's maybe happening in someone else's life?
Starting point is 00:05:05 I see the power that I'm supposed to have, but I haven't quite figured out how to connect it with my identity. Yes. Of course, we all have those moments. But in that moment, I just had to look in a mirror, look in a mirror and really figure out, okay, what am I great at? What do I feel like I'm great at? And identifying your weaknesses and your strengths. Sometimes we may consider a strength or weakness, a strength and it could be a weakness. So I would just say really take that time, look in the mirror, know that you're great. We aren't created to become something great. We're born great. We're born into our blessings where we just have to identify them.
Starting point is 00:05:52 We have to see them. So I would say really look in the mirror and know like, I got it going on. You got it going on. And again, borrow. Sometimes greatness is borrow. So don't be afraid to look around, find some role models, see some people that are doing the things you want to do or heading in the directions you want to go. And again, make a plan, be realistic and know that it's a learning process. So take
Starting point is 00:06:17 it easy on yourself. What's the greatest lesson that your histories taught you. To be resilient. To be resilient. To know that it's never too late to start over. It's never too late to try again. And resilience it builds character. So I feel like I'm like really strong and resilient. So that's something that I lean on and use in my toolbox whenever I need it. I'm like, okay, the punch is a comment. Well, we gotta keep it rolling. So yeah. I love that resilience. I feel like that's something that a lot of women
Starting point is 00:06:56 have leaned into in order to survive and to make it. And I also feel like we're learning to lean into like vulnerability. At the same time as being resilient, and it's like on one hand, I need to walk around with the shield so that I can take the punches when they come. But on the other hand,
Starting point is 00:07:12 I also have to have this outlet and this space where I can assess the damage and figure out what's happened to me along the way. And I feel like the power, the true power in our history doesn't come from those moments where we came out beating our chest. I really feel like those moments where it was hard to sleep at night or we were crying
Starting point is 00:07:31 ourselves to sleep at night or we felt confused and surviving those moments have made us the most powerful. What has been one of those moments in your history where you felt like, you know what? I didn't think I was gonna make it or I cried myself to sleep every night or I wanted to cry, but I was so out of touch with my emotions,
Starting point is 00:07:48 I couldn't cry anymore, and yet here I am and I'm breathing again. I would have to say, when I was a senior in high school, when a lot of my peers were taking the next step or the next leap, and I'm like, it's not happening for me. I don't see it, but I want it. So it was a lot of dark nights.
Starting point is 00:08:11 It was a lot of self-reflecting. It was a lot of talking to God, rerouting a new plan. But if you stay strong, stay in the game, know that it is a phase. And with every storm that will be sun again. So just stay strong as you possibly can. And again, take that time to reflect and know that it will be over soon.
Starting point is 00:08:34 It will be over soon. As you see in the documentary, I had a problem with my GPA, but I continued to focus on the end goal, which was to go to college. And being though, my GPA wasn't as great as everybody else's, it sucked. It hurt. It was dark nights, it was some tears and some crying. Maybe some jealousy.
Starting point is 00:08:53 And that was something that I had to, again, look in the mirror and self-reflect, be realistic, know what I did and didn't do. And to take that information and self-reflect then to create a change. Start changing the little things that you can control, which for me was doing the homework, showing up to school, being present, being in the moment, and eventually that helped me get into a program called Open Arts, which was, well, Bridge E.D.U, which was a low GPA program that helped students segue into a university. And that was just my route, so just making sure that you are in the moment and that you're not afraid to go through that storm so that you can't see the sun at the end of the road. One of my favorite things about the women connected to woman evolve are the variety of businesses you all have.
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Starting point is 00:11:22 a lot of pressure going through your senior year of high school, one with a documentary crew. I don't care if you have a 4.0, like having someone document that journey and then the pressure of being this first graduating class and which everyone needs to get in college. And then you had that added pressures and disappointments of what was taking place at home. And have you ever found yourself in the process of kind of like analyzing your journey,
Starting point is 00:11:52 really being compassionate towards yourself? Because a lot of times we look back on our history and we're like coaching ourselves or sometimes beating ourselves up. But how many moments have you been able to give yourself compassion for who you were in those moments, your senior year in high school, who was struggling and handling a lot?
Starting point is 00:12:14 Have you been able to find that compassion? Yes. I was able to find that compassion, leaning on my sisters, because it was a new experience for all of us. We were all in a documentary and being from Baltimore, you don't see movie sets a lot. So it was a lot of pressure, but we really leaned on each other, acknowledging where we are, what we were trying to create.
Starting point is 00:12:36 So it was stressful, but I wanted to be transparent. I wanted people to see my story for what it was and what it is and to maybe see themselves in it and to eventually, I guess, be inspired because the feedback from the documentary was insane. I was a little nervous at first because it was a lot going on. Like I'm in a documentary, I'm trying to go to college, I'm trying to get my GPA together.
Starting point is 00:13:00 But I would just say I leaned on a lot of my peers and my family and yeah, we got through it, we got through it. So you transition, you have the documentary, like tell us what happened in between the documentary and where you are now. Now, so from the documentary, once it closed out, I went to college, we all went back to school. I was a part of a program called Bridgie DeU, which was Station at Coppen State University. I was in the program for about a year, and then I transferred in a Coppen State, and I was there for another year. And then I ended up auditioning on a leap of faith for the NYU Open Arts program, which
Starting point is 00:13:40 is where I wanted to be from the very beginning. And that leap of faith turned into something. I actually got accepted. And I was there. I was in New York. I was at NYU. I'm doing this program. Everything's amazing.
Starting point is 00:13:55 I'm in open arts. I'm taking acting classes, conservatory classes, movement classes. Everything you can possibly dream of. And then I auditioned to be an actual Tish student. So being that I auditioned and I was a bit nervous, I asked one of my instructors from the Open Arts program if she could like look over my monologue or maybe like sign off on it and she said, of course, bless it. I was like waiting for you to see this in yourself.
Starting point is 00:14:22 You just have to like trust the process. And when she gave me her like gift gifts of, I believe in you, I just had all the confidence that I feel like I need it from the beginning. Sometimes when you feel like you want to do something, you just don't know if you can do it. So from there, I got into NYU as a full-time test student. And I was at the university for about a year and a half
Starting point is 00:14:44 and I was doing amazing. I have that 3.to-student. And I was at the university for about a year and a half, and I was doing amazing. I have like a 3.5 GPA at NYU. Thank you. And then COVID happened. And with COVID happening in New York, being like one of the highest places that, you know, was contagious, I had to go home. And I was on a medical leave for a while.
Starting point is 00:15:02 And my sponsorships kind of got a little messed up or flipped around because of finances and stuff. So right now I'm currently just looking for more funding and sponsorships to return back to my academics. And in the meantime I've been working. I'm signed to a new model agency, Mars Enterprise, and it's all about diversity and inclusion and I really feel like a part of something. So from there I've been doing work with like Under Armour. Good American. I've been working with Tarry Giddy a few times. I've been doing some work in the real world. While doing that, I've also done a few projects back at my high school with Baltimore Leadership School, Young Women, where the documentary was shot. And the stunt team is still there.
Starting point is 00:15:45 It's still up and running. There's still one in competition. It's not only in Baltimore now, but nationwide. Wow. So that's amazing. Thank you. That's been such an incredible path. I wonder as you've been navigating the success of the documentary,
Starting point is 00:16:00 the success of the platform, but also your dreams and goals. Like how do you find time to balance? Like, the fact that on one hand, like, in many ways, you've arrived. Like, I bet you that like for people maybe within your family or people who are just watching you, like, you are this role model, but you still have hopes and dreams yourself. How do you balance the responsibility of arrival while still in pursuit of your life fully blossoming.
Starting point is 00:16:29 I believe in God's divine time. Like, I just just me, that's just what I genuinely believe in. Like, I know that whatever is for me is already there. I just have to trust the process, walk the steps and stay true to myself. So I know I'm in this way to phase. I'm in a growing phase. I'm constantly learning new things about myself in the industry. So I would just say, my rival is on its way
Starting point is 00:16:56 to being wherever God sees me. But as of right now, I'm just doing the things that make me passionate, the things that make me happy and you know, walking the steps that I see that I can control as of right now. Mel Robbins, a best-selling global phenomenon and one of the leading voices in personal development, is back with a new, audible, original podcast. Here's exactly what to do. It invites you to reimagine the life you want
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Starting point is 00:18:10 Her 13 topic breakdown, a power to deal with whatever life is throwing at you. Available only on Audible at audible.com slash what to do. While your faith is so strong, I feel like it's so strong. Even in the documentary, it was so evident. You talked about that church that used to sing a song that you love growing up. Who instilled that faith in you? My mom. My mom.
Starting point is 00:18:39 And going to church, being raised in the church and just seeing the power that my people had. I just, you know, it's something that's a part of who I am. It's always been a part of who I am and where I come from and what I'm capable of because in God's eyes you are believed. And I feel like despite the environment, I was born into or the amount of income my parents had or didn't have.
Starting point is 00:19:07 God has me. So I trust in His divine timing and I know that in the day He has my back. So if there's something I am passionate about with God's blessing, I can do it. Mm-hmm. That's so good. I love that. I know that you shared about your mom and still and your faith in you and then also some of the dynamics of you all's relationship that were opportunities for growth and perhaps communication and deeper connection. But I love that you've still been able to honor what your mom gave you as it relates to faith
Starting point is 00:19:41 while still having compassion to the areas where she needed grace in her own life. And I feel like that's like the complicated nature of being in relationship with people is that sometimes they're going to give you the best of themselves and then sometimes they're going to need grace for themselves. How have you been able to kind of like heal and mend your relationship with your mom. Ooh. With my mom, I love my mom. I always love my mom. I was never really the problem.
Starting point is 00:20:16 I just had to understand that she could do what she knew if that makes sense. I can't fault her or blame her for things that maybe she didn't have in her life. I had to value and appreciate the things that she did in my life, which was showing up when she could, which was being there when I needed her in the most darkest moments. My mom is always there. So she might not be able to show up on times where I wish she was there always,
Starting point is 00:20:51 because we know she deals with her own mental illness. My mom suffers from depression. She's no depression. So sometimes she's happy, sometimes she's not as happy, but me as her daughter, her is my mom. I know that I just have to take her as she is and love her as a queen of she is. And my mom is a queen.
Starting point is 00:21:06 She's very strong. She instilled a lot of my character skills as far as being resilient. My mom is very resilient. And yeah, I love my mom. So we're still working on things. We're still bonding. We're still growing.
Starting point is 00:21:20 But right now, I would say we are in the best chapter that we've probably ever been in. And we're really close. And right now, we're actually about to in the best chapter that we've probably ever been in. And we're really close. And right now, we're actually about to start like a few different small businesses with her getting more creative, because my mom is also really creative. Like it doesn't come from nowhere. Like my mom is super creative.
Starting point is 00:21:36 So yeah, we've been bonding, we've been healing and we're doing pretty good. And that's good. Can you see the pieces of your mom and you, like do you ever have moments where you're like, man, I sent them my mother would do I'm becoming just like my mother. And does that make you more compassionate? Because maybe when I look at my history and I can see, I see my mother, I see, I don't
Starting point is 00:21:58 know. I can see how I picked up on her strengths and sometimes how I even picked up on her insecurities and how they show up is so funny. Kind of I was talking to my therapist and she was like, do you think that you overcompensate as a mother because you think your mother is watching you or you would want your mother's stamp of approval or you're trying to do something that your mother didn't do. And I had to really sit with how our mothers and our relationships with our mothers show up in our identity as a woman.
Starting point is 00:22:28 And then we get to choose whether or not we want to keep them. But I feel like by default, we get them, but it is by choice that we decide whether and not those character traits can stay. Correct. I agree. We all have our own self-identity even though we come from
Starting point is 00:22:45 somewhere and certain things can also be transferred genetically. So it's like, hmm, okay, this is where I come from. This is my mom, her genetics and her blood literally makes me who I am. So I would say I'm blessed and happy to identify the good things that she passed down to me like being resilient and being strong-minded and being an independent woman and just like looking towards the glory rather than like some of the other things
Starting point is 00:23:16 because being a woman is so complicated. We are some of the most important beings in the world. We have so many job titles. We have so many different things that we have to do, being confident, being vulnerable, being courageous, being loved and being compassionate. The list goes on and on and on. But with my mom, I would just have to say,
Starting point is 00:23:34 like, I definitely see the things in myself that I see her doing. Like the other day, I said, like, woo, chow. And it just came out of nowhere. Like my mom, she always says, like, woo, chow. And like, I swear, it just came out of nowhere. Like my mom, she always says like, woo, child. And like, I swear, it just came like second nature. And I'm just like, is that my mom in me? Is she definitely my mom in me? And she does this thing where she's like, like, she'll breathe. And like, sometimes I see me take the same pause. So yeah, I definitely
Starting point is 00:24:01 see her in me sometimes. Okay. What part of your mother do you want to make like a generational blessing that continues in your life regardless? Because I think when we talk about our history, a lot of times we talk about like generational curses and the curses we want to break. And I know that for you and for me, we probably have a long list of those.
Starting point is 00:24:20 But what are those generational blessings, those generational impartations that you want to stay alive, that you know, you know, start it with your mom or is fully alive with your mom? Passing it on. Passing it on. Passing on. Like the love, passing on. The leadership, being present in the moment. I would have to say, something that I want definitely to live on is the power. The power of creating your own future.
Starting point is 00:24:58 My mom never limited me. She never told me that there's a cap on my success. She never did that. She always told me to push the cap, push the limits, reach for the sky, despite what was going on in my own environment. And that's just a message that I want to continue on with the youth that comes from similar places like me,
Starting point is 00:25:17 like Baltimore, low income communities, or places that are typically deemed as being more dangerous. So whatever the case may be, Baltimore is a beautiful place as well. And I just want that to live on in every single last blessing, Cori or Taylor, and whatever city around the world. For years now, I've been vocal about the importance of taking care of my mental health, whether it was putting boundaries in place or doing mindfulness exercises,
Starting point is 00:25:47 tools I've learned in therapy have not only been beneficial for me, but everyone connected to me. When I take care of my own mind, heart, and soul, I show what better for the people in my world. I want you to be mentally healthy as well, and it's possible with better health. Better Health is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist.
Starting point is 00:26:10 So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used better help online therapy. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Woman Evolved Podcasts with Sarah Jakes Roberts listeners, get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash evolve. That's so good. I love what you said about pushing the cat.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Because even when I look at your story, you were pushing that cat going from the bridge program into the university, you constantly kept pushing that cat. And I think that that is a beautiful message for anyone to understand. Is that at the end of the day, you got to keep showing up, you got to keep pushing that cat. And I think that that is a beautiful message for anyone to understand is that at the end of the day, you got to keep showing up, you got to keep pushing that limit. And you learn more about yourself and what God has placed in you when you push the cat. Like we're not just pushing the cat for the sake of pushing the cat. We're doing it because I'm trying to uncover all that God has placed on the inside of me. And it can only happen if I remove the limiting beliefs that I have.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Do you know, like, what was your greatest limiting belief that you had to push the cap on in order to get breakthrough? I had a point where I thought I was stupid. Mm. Me too. Me too. Like, if I could admit that and I thought I was stupid. Me too. Me too. Like if I could admit that and say that out loud, I had a phase where I thought, you know,
Starting point is 00:27:50 maybe I'm not as smart as everybody else. I don't know if that makes sense to some viewers, but basically what I'm trying to say is, is I had a moment where I was a bit uncomfortable. I felt like, you know, this is who I am. I'm not as brilliant as the next person or whatever the case may be, but I'd realize that this isn't it.
Starting point is 00:28:16 I can always do more. Again, this isn't the cat. We're never limited. Like there's always more to the story. So I eliminated that thought and said, you know what, I'm not stupid. I'm not dumb. Maybe I'm a little lazy.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Maybe I procrastinate a bit more than I should. And I began to pay attention to the things I want to change. And then overall, you start to see things switching up. You start to see better results towards where you're trying to go. That is so good. I, it's so funny. I was doing this, I was having a conversation with someone and she told me she's like, I just have this feeling that you question your ability to be smart, that you question
Starting point is 00:28:55 your ability to be in certain rooms. And it like, one, I'm like, don't put me on blast in front of all these people, like, tell them, I'm business. Because I like, could not hide it. But I think people used to tell me all the time that I was smart. But I could not comprehend how someone smart ended up pregnant, right? Because it's kind of like, how do you get pregnant at 13 if you're smart? Like you know where babies come from, you still found yourself in this situation.
Starting point is 00:29:21 And so I have struggled. I mean, I think even within the last, I'm going to say year and a half with like accepting this idea that I can be smart in spite of some of the evidence that was suggests otherwise. And I think part of the reason I was able to do that is coming to a place where I didn't judge myself so harshly, where I wasn't so hard on myself that I didn't miss the opportunity
Starting point is 00:29:45 to embrace myself. And in embracing myself, I learned that I wasn't just a dumb girl who got pregnant, that I was an angry girl who was trying to soothe her pain and then part of soothing her pain, open herself up to anything that would make her feel better and that resulted in impregnancy. And that switch of a narrative has helped me so much as I step into my womanhood, because I don't want to be that little girl who's afraid to be in the rooms with people who speak differently than I am or who are more educated than I am. I dropped out of college. It was like, you had all of these opportunities to do well with your life and yet you still ended up in a bad
Starting point is 00:30:23 mayor. You still ended up waiters in that district club. Like I had this long list of things that I felt like I could have done better, but I've been able to really do the work of allowing myself to be an oxymoron where I can be insecure in this one space and confident in another. And I think that allowing myself room
Starting point is 00:30:45 to not be so perfect has helped me be a better lover of my own soul. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Its perfection isn't real. No one's perfect. We have to love ourselves.
Starting point is 00:31:03 And every phase, every chapter, love yourself, love ourselves. The same way that you felt like, I think it's also called like imposter syndrome. I kind of experienced that as well when I actually stepped foot into the Performer Arts program, but I just knew that it was always space to grow and I belong here. My story and what I bring from my experience is different from their experience, her experience, his experience. And again, God will never put you in a situation you're not prepared for. So I knew in that moment, let's turn the naysayers down and turn the value up like my own voice. You know, the best thing that I got inside, let's turn that up. Let's turn that up. Let's turn that up. That's so good.
Starting point is 00:31:45 I'll tell you, there is something so divinely aligned with who you are. And I think that it stood out to us so immediately when watching even the documentary. And there are so many incredible women who are highlighted from the Academy. But when we were watching you, like like my daughters were drawn to you, there was just something about your light.
Starting point is 00:32:07 And I do think it has a lot to do with you refusing to surrender to the belief that you're not good enough, or surrender to the belief that you can't hang in the places where you're called. And you just keep showing up. I feel that about you, that you keep showing up,
Starting point is 00:32:24 but that showing up for you isn't always easy. And nobody knows about the conversation that takes place in your mind when you show up, but you keep showing up anyway. And I'm telling you that that history of showing up is why you never have to doubt where your ordered steps will lead you because wherever it takes you,
Starting point is 00:32:43 as long as you show up authentically, you're going to feel the blessing connected to that moment that you're in. Thank you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. It's true. Now, you already know that I love the folks at Skillshare. Their commitment to expanding our knowledge, purposely living out the saying,
Starting point is 00:33:06 you learn something new every day, and they mean it. Skillshare is sponsoring this episode, and they're giving us a one month free trial on Skillshare.com slash evolve. If you're anything like me, and you're committed to being a forever student, tapping into your creativity, or you just wanna make a splash of something
Starting point is 00:33:25 new to your life by picking up a new hobby, then Skillshare is for you. I've been having fun creating social media lately. Skillshare has a class that will help me tell an engaging story in less than a minute. It's the video for Instagram with Holly Snerves and it's one that I need to sign up for. Explore your creativity on Skillshare.com slash evolve and get a one that I need to sign up for. Explore your creativity on skillshare.com slash evolve and get a one month free trial. We have an advice question that we want to hear blessings thoughts on, okay?
Starting point is 00:33:59 So, I want to move on from the herd of my parents, but I don't know how. I'm my mom's only child. At a young age, I question my existence and my purpose in life. I question God for dealing me these cards. My mom chose everybody over me, boyfriend, friends, family, and coworkers.
Starting point is 00:34:17 I always came last. I felt like a burden because she was a single mother working two jobs and in school. I wasn't the best in school, so I was always compared to my younger cousins. She used to tell me she wish she could give me to my father but he doesn't want me. There were days I was left alone and had to reach out to my aunts and grandma to rescue me. I used to have conversations with her and write her letters about how I felt
Starting point is 00:34:38 but nothing ever changed. As I got older those conversations turned into arguments. I never had a relationship with her and now I'm 22 and don't speak to her. Last year, she kicked me out mainly because she chose her boyfriend over me. I was homeless, sleeping in my car and hotel hopping. I had no idea what to do and who was on my side. As for my dad, when I was 10, he chose his girlfriend and her kids over me. I have no relationship or communication with him. I'm currently in therapy, but a part of me feels like I will never get over the fact that I wasn't chosen
Starting point is 00:35:06 and it shows in my friendships. I stay where I'm not wanted and try to work on relationships that don't deserve it. I have my Eve moments and I know better, but don't do better. I want to do better. I've started my own dog sitting business, found an apartment and got my dream job.
Starting point is 00:35:20 I'm doing great for myself, but this is the only thing I feel like is hindering my growth. That's, well, I want to say I'm proud of you. I'm so proud of you for pushing past that and being where you are right now in this moment. But I understand. I understand when you're when you have to forgive someone That is supposed to protect you and love you and be there for you constantly and having to deal with them Herding your feelings are almost a daily basis when they're supposed to be the person that loves you the most When they fall short of their love You're gonna going to have to pour in your cup a little more self-love. Also, you're going to have to meet that self-love with understanding and
Starting point is 00:36:13 forgiveness. She's going to have to learn. You're going to have to learn how to forgive your parents for what they did in the past and what if you move on to your future. And doing so, you're going to heal, you're going to grow as a person, and where you are in this phase is probably going to start to make a lot more sense as to where you started and the things that you had to do to where you're going and forgiving your parents is going to be one of the first steps. Because that's how we are allowed to let go of that burden. It's not for them. It's for you and your future self because you have to let go in order to grow. And that will be one of my first immediate things I would say is call your mom, call your dad, and be prepared that what they might say to you may not be what you want
Starting point is 00:37:00 to hear, but it's for you. Again, it's for you in your growth and for you to heal and for you to have that closure. So lead by example, sometimes you have to lead by example. Don't be afraid to lead by example. And hopefully they'll meet you halfway. And if not, we're fine with that as well. But we did it for us. I was thinking that idea of being chosen. I know what you mean when you say that they didn't choose me, but I just wonder if we could break it down even further and to really give that word to say, what does it feel like to feel like someone didn't choose me?
Starting point is 00:37:37 Doesn't mean that they didn't value me. Doesn't mean that I felt like my presence wasn't. It didn't add value to the room that I was in. Like what does it mean to not feel chosen because as you embark on this journey of self-love, you want to know exactly where the love needs to go. And a lot of times we say, I want to love myself more or I want to heal from what happened in my past, but we aren't specific about what happened in those moments. So it sounds like you wanted to feel seen.
Starting point is 00:38:03 It sounded like you wanted to feel worthy, that you wanted to feel valuable from the people who are supposed to instill that in you. And they weren't able to do that. And I think if you look at what you need it, that you'll see, that they likely had no one in their life who was doing that for them. And sometimes we want from people what they don't know how to give us, because they never received it themselves. If your mother never felt worthy, if she never felt valuable, if she never felt like she was the sun stars in the moon, then she can't give you what she never had. That doesn't mean that you don't have access to it. It just means you have to embark on the journey of choosing myself. I'm going to find myself valuable.
Starting point is 00:38:39 I'm going to believe that because God placed me in this earth that my life adds value wherever I am. And to really, by faith, lay hold of that paradigm shift and allow it to change the way that you show up in the world. And there is something powerful to bless and point about you giving that gift to your mom, even though she wasn't able to give it to you. If there's enough growth and comfort within that relationship
Starting point is 00:39:06 for you to show up for her in that way, that's a beautiful way to say, you know what, you couldn't give it to me, but I honor you, I love you, you're worthy, you're valuable, you did a great job with what you had, and you can create generational healing in your family regardless of the history that you all have had.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Those are my two cents, What do you think, girl? Love it. Blessing what's next for you. What can we expect for your dreams, for your hopes? How can we pray for you? How can we encourage you in this next season of your life? In this next season of my life, I would just say that I'm still learning, I'm learning more about myself in the industry and exactly where I see myself in it. But I would just say that you can always pray for guidance, you can always pray for me when it comes to protection, protection and yeah, grounding, but I would just say that to support me right now, I am currently still looking for financial support to go back to academics at NYU. Other than that, I'm still a part of an agency and a modeling.
Starting point is 00:40:18 You can pay for coverage with that and stand on a divine path. And other than that, I'm still doing community work in Baltimore and I'm looking to expand to other smaller cities. So we can also pray for God as for God to direct me in the right cities that where I'm supposed to be. So that's just a few things that I'm currently working on.
Starting point is 00:40:36 And step is also being in the works of being redone by Disney. So that's pretty incredible. So you're gonna see the step story on the big screen again. Sometimes you're beautiful. Well, one involve wants to donate $5,000 towards your academics. So you tell us where to send it and we'll make sure that you have at least more funds in the bucket so that you can continue your education. We believe in you.
Starting point is 00:41:00 Thank you so much. Like that. That means a lot to me. Like that means so much to me. Going back to my academics is one of the first milestones I ever decided to really tackle. And having that chapter being still open is just something that I know that I'm capable of closing it. But it's just like this blessing, this money that you just gave me is gonna go towards my school and I'm just wanna say
Starting point is 00:41:21 I'm so grateful and thank you for having me on the show. Oh, well you gotta tell us, because I know the delegation, they're going to be other women who listen, they're like, hey, I want to sew into her academics as well. I don't know if you have like a go fun me or a cash app, like how can we get you closer to your goal of getting back in school? Yes, you can cash up me at Blessed Beat. Well, money sign, B.B. Joroldo, you can also email me at BlessedCG at gmail.com and you can title it, School Link Inquiry. And from there, we will talk to me and my agent about our further next steps on what you're interested
Starting point is 00:42:00 in covering because there's a lot of different steps with housing and books and electives. So yeah, you can just contact me via email. I'm also on LinkedIn or you can follow me on Instagram at Blessing Jorolda. Okay, beautiful. Thank you, blessin. Take care of yourself. Thank you so much. You too. Bye. Bye. Bye. Listen, your name is perfect because this you are a whole blessing. Thanks for chatting with me today and allowing us to dive into your life.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Delegation, you can be a blessing too by co-hosting with me or submitting an advice question. Sharing our stories is how we bless each other and do our part to not leave another woman behind. If you want to be a co-host, shoot me an email with a 1-2-minute video to podcast at womanevolve.com. Tell me what makes you a great co-host and what can the delegation learn from you. If co-hosting isn't your thing but you have an advice question, send it to me, same email at me. Alright, we got you. See you next week. you

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