Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Woman Evolve Replay: The Power to be Unhinged w Sarah Jakes Roberts

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

Previously Recorded Before starting this episode, W.E. ask that you proceed with caution. ‘Cause somebody proved themselves to be a sacrificial lamb in motherhood, but even more so on this here podcast. Tune in to hear how SJR was able to strike a balance, and release the fragrance of who Jesus is in the busyness of life. Now…the advice segment is where things went from 0 to 100 real quick! Especially after the girls wanted to throw that thang in a circle. SJR discussed the power of the body, and encouraged those who devote themselves to serving others to acknowledge their own needs. Repeat after W.E. — I give myself permission to let power move. Then do us a solid a pre-order your copy of thepowermovesbook.com!   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I give myself permission to let power move. I wanted to be on a record saying that I don't think we should be outside twerking. Where is Kate Middleton? I know y'all don't care about the Royal Family and I won't be honest, neither did I. I also said what I said and it's out there. If y'all never hear from me again, this podcast is what did it. Welcome to the Woman Evolved podcast. This is your host, Sarah Jakes Roberts.

How are you doing? What is happening in your world? Today's episode is going to... I want to prepare you before you even settle down into this podcast to let you know that this week's episode is going to be called The Power to Be Unhinged. Turn to your neighbor and say, The Power to Be Unhinged.

All right, are you ready? Because listen, I've had a very long week and the week is not over. It's Monday when I'm recording this. Yesterday, I preached at the Potter's House Dallas. I preached a message called Hazardous Conditions, which we'll get into it. Saturday, I flew to Dallas from Los Angeles

because we did Hey You in Los Angeles, and we had a phenomenal time with the women at One Online. We are still planning to host it in Dallas in May, but everyone who is in Dallas is currently working for the International Leadership Summit and they weren't able to have it in March. So Hey You is supposed to be every other month. Let's talk about it. Hey You is supposed to be every other month. And so January, March, May, July, were off in September, up in October, the last one for the year. So when we couldn't do it in March, May, July, we're off in September, up in October, the last one for the year. So when we couldn't do it in March, we were like, well, let's just wait till May.

And I was like, no, that's going to throw the schedule off because I'm, because I, because once I said it, call it being made in God's image. Once I said it, I want it to stay how we said it. And so we tried to do it early. Oh, we were going to do it March 8th, but my mom had knee replacement surgery. And so we couldn't do it March 8th. And so I was like, can we do it the 15th?

But the 15th was like the week leading into ILS. And it was like, there's no way we could pull it off. Then the next week is Easter. And I was like, well, can we do it in LA? Like, low key though, I've been trying to make it to LA because I am usually in Dallas on Sundays. I'm holding things down with the girls throughout the week. Can we do it in LA? Like low key though, I've been trying to make it to LA because I am usually in Dallas on Sundays. I'm holding things down with the girls throughout the week.

And so I haven't been able to go to Los Angeles, like the church that birthed my ministry, okay? And so I love them. Some of them probably don't even know who I am at this point because I haven't been there as much, but I love going there when I get to Chance too. So we had Hey You in LA on Friday, my girls were on spring break. So Monday through Thursday, we were in Orange County, we did Disney, we stayed at a hotel,

we're by the pool. And so I was determined to not be consumed with the fact that I have to Hey You on Friday and I would like to preach a message and I like to sit down and study for hours on end. And then I'm also preaching on Sunday in Dallas with the travel day in between. And I like to sit down and study like for endless amounts of time when I'm studying for a sermon.

And so we spent the week in at Disney or like four days, four or five days at the hotel in Disney. And you know, I wanted to be present with them. I did not want them to feel like, yeah, we're on spring break, but mom's on her laptop. She's got her Bible out. It doesn't feel very fun. So I'm in the pool.

I'm splashing. I went into it knowing that I was just going to be a sacrificial lamb of motherhood. Someone knows what I'm talking about. Have you ever been this sacrificial lamb of motherhood did someone else on the time Have you ever been this sacrificial lamb of motherhood like where you have just decided like most of the time? Y'all get on my nerves, but I'm not gonna let you do it this week this week I'm gonna be the mama see on TV this week I'm gonna be the mom who the arts and crafts nailed it homemade me Nara is that who is that? No, it's Sarah because I have decided to be that mom. That's how I went into spring break.

You want me to get in the pool with you? Let me change into my bathing suit. I'm getting, you want to splash around? You want to run life? You want to get on my back? Let's do it. You want to stay up and cuddle and watch movies? I'm your cuddle buddy, okay?

So unhinged, I already told you. And so I was very present. And let me tell you, God did what only God could do because I was studying at the end of the service, at the end of spending time with them. I would get on my laptop, get on my phone, and I would study because that was the only time I had available. And so we had Hey You.

I preached a message specifically for women. It's called On the Front Lines. It was powerful. I felt like it was powerful. You should watch it. Check it out. And then Sunday, I preached hazardous conditions and I thought that that was a powerful sermon as well. And I felt so, I had to go into my feelings wheel. I went on to my feelings wheel because I was trying to, what is this I'm feeling? I've never, I turn this down. Okay. What is this I'm feeling? I haven't always felt this way.

What is this feeling? And so I went, I think I had something on my teeth. Okay. So I went onto my feelings wheel and it started off with happy. And I was like, I do feel happy. And then the second tier was like proud. And I'm like, I think I feel a little proud, but I be, I be careful by feeling proud of stuff that God really empowered me to do.

Cause like, I don't want to take anything credit that only God could do. And then I went out and it was triumphant. Oh, Holy Ghost. Because you know what happened after that? Second Corinthians was brought to my mind. Second Corinthians 2 verse 14, I feel it right now. It says, now thanks be unto God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge and every praise in every place.

I said praise because a praise was in my spirit because I felt triumphant because I was able to release the fragrance of who Jesus is. Not just when I preached, but when I was with my kids too. I got to show them the love of God through me. I got to show them the patience of God, the joy of God. I was able to release the fragrance of who God is for, not just through the sermons for Hey You, or for the Potter's House Dallas,

and those who watch online, but also just in my role as a mother, I wanted them to really have a good spring break. I wanted them to experience joy and that scripture stood out in my mind. And so, yeah, this episode though is unhinged because I was present with the kids, studied for Hey You, preached Hey You, flew to Dallas, preached in Dallas, collapsed me and my boo celebrated our 10-year date-aversary. And then Monday we came around and I was like, boo, you got a podcast on Wednesday. Triumph that. And I don't have a plan for it, but I do have some unhinged things that I want to say to you. So we're going to call it, The Power to be Unhinged.

But can we talk for a minute? You all please go pre-order Power Moves, Ignite Your Confidence, and Become a Force. I am so proud of this book. I did an interview today. That's why I have on makeup. But I did an interview today about the book. And the person had actually read the book.

Sometimes when you do interviews, people are doing so many different interviews with so many different people that they haven't actually read the book. Sometimes when you do interviews, people are doing so many different interviews with so many different people that they haven't actually read the book yet, but this person had actually read the book. And as a result of them reading the book, we had a great conversation. She got it. So when you hear power moves, most people are thinking about businesses that make blockbuster deals or someone who did something so strategic. I'm thinking about Monique Rodriguez, who we're going to have on the podcast,

who sold My L Organics in a power move deal. So people who are making these big power move deals. And to be honest, I think most people are like, one, I'm not in a position to make power moves, or two, even if I was, I'm already tired making my life move. So I can't make power move and my life move. I got you.

Because power moves is not just about doing things in the earth that feel big and important. Power moves is about allowing power to move through you. And this week I was so happy because I saw power move and my expression of motherhood and then move again and my expression of just speaking to women and then move again as we made it through the airport with a flight delay and power was patience in that moment and stillness and trust in God that I wouldn't be delayed, that I would be able to preach the message God gave me.

And then I saw power move on Sunday and then just my anniversary. So power moves and being sensitive and attuned to the moments where power is moving so that you can move when power moves. I slept for an hour after church. I went to see my mom. I went to say goodbye to someone who is transitioning out of a role.

And I slept for an hour and then my husband came home. He surprised me. He's supposed to be out of town. So he surprises me with a date and I was so excited. And he knew I was tired. So it wasn't like I had to pretend like I wasn't tired. He knew that I was tired. But even having the acknowledgement of like, I'm tired, but I want to do this anyway.

There used to be times where I would go and be resentful or I would not go and then be ashamed that he went out of his way to do something and I turned it down. But we were able to strike this balance of, you know, she's tired, but she's also excited because it's our 10-year date anniversary. And so there are no rules. Like I picked up the phone because I needed to send something to one of our team members in the middle of dinner. I was like, I'm going to put the phone down because I know we're on a date and I don't

want to be the girl who's on the phone on the date. He's like, there are no rules. There are no rules. Just be free. I want you guys to get this book so that you can experience an existence that does not have expectations and rules that you would just allow yourself to move as power moves in your life. This episode, we just going to kick it.

All right. I'm going to mind your business still. I have a question from someone that was sent in and it's unhinged. So it goes with the theme of the podcast. And when I say unhinged, I mean it's unhinged. So let's hear it. Hey Sarah, my name is Bree. And my question for you is,

how did you find sisters to match your fly and fresh face? Meaning that you're always super fly, your perspective is fresh, but you are of the faith. I just feel like a little puzzle right now because the state of my friendships um are rocky i feel like i'm always reaching out to certain people for those connections or i'm avoiding other friends because i'm in a space where I desire committed, healthy, reciprocal spaces. But I'm not one for the things that pull me away from God. Well, not too far at least. And let me explain this is what I mean. If we go out and y'all drinking, y'all drinking. But if we go out and we twerking,

we twerking. So I guess I'm kind of looking for friends who want to pray and fast and read the Bible and dig into the scriptures and uplift each other and encourage each other, hold space for each other, get therapy together, but still twerk. I don't know how to explain it, but culturally, I feel like my ancestors be like, it's okay to twerk, but make sure you're praying and that you're close to God.

That's the only advice that I can truly think of and I'm sure other people have some. So without like losing yourself and striving for perfection, but striving to grow in Christ with friends who are also trying to grow in Christ because I find that many people are either or. Like they're all the way in the world or something. Okay, thank you for listening. Bye. Did I tell you that this episode was unhinged? Like someone is literally probably wondering like, how is Sarah going to answer this question?

And you've never seen someone beat around the bush the way I'm about to beat around the bush. Like Mike Tyson couldn't beat around this bush the way I'm about to beat around this bush, because I want to tell you what I hear her saying. I know what she said, but what I hear her saying is, how do I have an authentic faith that doesn't have

superiority, judgment, or the spirit of religion connected to it? Is it possible? I want to say foundationally that I do not believe that twerking and the forms that I have seen it is outdoor behavior. Oh God, I know. Logging off. Logging off. You know, let me go deeper before you judge. You know, for me, the way that my life now, I want to tell you perspective, my worldview grew up during purity culture, had a kid at

14, respectability politics steeped in them. Okay, so take this with the grain of salt if you'd like, but I just want to offer, and my husband definitely not in that shake that tail territory publicly. Heavy on the publicly. I think that there is something to be said about giving a woman the freedom to experience and express the movement of her body in the context of her mirror, okay? Because... I'm probably failing at this because at the end of the day, I think it is important that a woman be able to express the full dimensions of what it means to be a woman.

And I will tell you as a woman who has had promiscuity in her past, that I think it is also irresponsible to fall into the philosophy that, oh gosh, am I? And I've already said it. I think it is dangerous to subscribe to a philosophy that a woman can only, I think a woman, I think a woman, I think a woman should be able to know her body well enough to understand the effect and power that it has on other people in the world, to be a good steward of those effects and powers, to recognize that she is more than her body, and to also not give over the responsibility of pleasure, enjoyment to whoever her partner is. And so I think in order to get to that place in a healthy way, that it requires a perspective

on the fullness of who you are outside of your body, I will say even culturally, as a black woman, and somebody may be wondering like, what does you being a black woman have to do with this? The reality that the black body has been used for labor, for entertainment, for pleasure, whether that pleasure was sexual or leisure, that systemically in America,

that it can be very difficult to separate our worth and value outside of the nature of what our bodies can do, which is why I believe we see a lot of entertainers. Oh gosh, this is, I don't even, should I? I'm open for correction. I have a limited perspective. Whatever. I have a limited perspective, whatever. But I'm saying this, especially as a, I see now as a grown woman,

how I grew up listening to R. Kelly's music. I wanted nothing more than to act out the lyrics of those songs. And the music today has very similar themes and connotations. And when I turn on certain music, I just don't, when I turn on certain music I just don't start when I turn on music from artists that are of another ethnicity

you know I don't see it being as sexualized bodies being as sexualized as I do and some of the music and entertainment that we've come to expect from some of our faves like like in faves, present parties included. I understand the beats and the music and how we got there, but I do think that as I have grown and deepened in my relationship with God, imagine never answering the question, as I've grown in my relationship with God, I've come to see myself outside of the worth of my body, whether it's from purity or from being exploited and to really see myself as a whole person. And as a result from me, I try to be a good steward of my body by the way that I try to protect it and the way that I allow it to be viewed and taken in

from outside glances. So I will say in all transparency, I don't necessarily know that there's going to be how what's the best way for you to find the twerking friends, the friends who if we outside twerking we outside twerking, but if we praying we also praying. I wanted to be on a record saying that I don't think we should be outside twerking, but if we praying, we also praying. I wanted to be on a record saying that I don't think we should be outside twerking. I don't. Unless it's your shoulders. I will also say that when I hear twerking, I hear popped over. I, you know what I mean? Are other things, are there other things?

Are the, are the fingers twerk? Correct me. Um, whoever unsubscribed, I understand. So I want to be on record saying that. And then I want to answer what I think you're saying is how do I have these friendships that feel real and down to earth? I'm going to tell you, I believe that one of the Evolve events are probably going to give you the girls outside twer real and down to earth. I'm gonna tell you, I believe that woman evolve events are probably gonna give you the girls outside twerking

and the girls praying. I believe that they're gonna be both of them. You know what I mean? Like I think the girls are gonna be there. I think you have the girls who ain't never twerked a day in their life, don't believe in twerking it. And you have the girls who twerk at home in the closet. I believe that they gonna all be covered.

At woman evolve events, I think part of the reason why woman evolve events feel so connected is because there is a similar spirit amongst the women in the room. Additionally, I will say that you may have to really determine what kind of person do I want to be and will I be able to find connecting points for every part of who I am? Or will I have to categorize my friendships to fit certain parts of who I am? In other words, you may find friends that are just your faith friends. They challenge you in the word.

They hold you accountable to your prayer. You know, they know scripture. You can call them in a hard time. You guys listen to the same sermons. And maybe that person too is a person who's like, hey, did you see the new TikTok dance? We should have a pajama party and see if we can figure this dance out.

Even if the dance got a little pop in it, cause it's just us and we, you know, we kicking it and we just trying to see what's happening, we practicing. But there's a possibility that that's a completely different friend. That may be a work friend. That may be, you may be your only twerk buddy in this season, that's possible.

But be open to the possibilities that you are multifaceted and that not everyone will be able to live in every facet of who you are. But that doesn't mean that you cannot have connection with certain people for certain parts of who you are, but that doesn't mean that you cannot have connection with certain people for certain parts of who you are. And so, and then when you zoom out of the picture and you see all of those different connection points, maybe it did not come from one person,

but rather multiple people came together to fulfill needs socially, spiritually, you know, professionally that were important to you. If y'all cancel me over this. I said it the best way I knew to say it and I'm open to being wrong and to, from my perspective, being expanded. But I also said what I said and it's out there on a podcast now. So I'll just log off if it becomes a thing.

If y'all never hear from me again, this podcast is what did it. Evolve. I was having a conversation with, who was I talking to? Oh, it was a part of the interview and interviews can be very, I guess, fast paced because the person is like looking at you, but they're also looking at the monitor to see the next questions to check out the time. So it's not as connected of a conversation sometimes, even though this interview was absolutely great. But we stumbled onto something that I felt like was worthy of expansion. And so I'm going to talk my thoughts out with you guys for a little bit.

So we started talking about someone who's always there for other people and they're wondering like, how do I get to a space where people don't only rely on me anymore or people see that I'm a person as well? And I was fascinated by this because this is a question I hear all of the time from people who are like, I'm the strong friend. I don't want to be the strong friend. And part of the reason why we have strong friends who don't always want to be the strong friend is that people have gotten into a rhythm

of calling them when they need them and that person has gotten into the rhythm of delivering. Maybe at the time they were able to deliver on those needs and as time has changed, as their life has changed, their energy has changed, their values have changed. They're no longer able to continue delivering on that level or what could be even more honest is that they were never able to deliver, but they stretched themselves and either way, no matter how they got there, they're at a stage now where they want to change the way that they have been showing up. She asked me what my response to those people would be. And my response to those people is, if you are in a position where you have become, will

use the restaurant industry. I used to waitress at a strip club. So there's my take on outside twerking. I've seen them all. I used to waitress at this strip club. And imagine this, if you're the strong friend, imagine that you're working in the restaurant industry and you're constantly checking on different tables. You need water?

Okay, I'll go get you water. You need food? I'll go get your food. Oh, your order was wrong? Okay, I'll go fix your order. But instead of food items, hey, you need some money? Okay, here, I'll give you the money. You need some emotional support? Okay, I'll be your emotional support. Okay. Oh, something went wrong with the kids?

Okay, here, let me call your kids and I'll fix it. Oh, okay, you're tired? Okay, why don't I pick this up? You're going from person to person, seeing exactly what they need. And sometimes you can deliver, sometimes you're overwhelmed, but that's your rhythm. If this were actually someone who was in the restaurant industry, just because they're serving people doesn't mean that they don't get hungry. At some point, their shift would have to end. They would have to sit down and they would have to ask themselves, what do I want to eat?

What's available for me to eat? What do I want to eat? What's available for me to eat? What do I want to drink? As easy as this is to understand in the restaurant industry, it's a little more challenging for us to comprehend when it comes to our emotional health and wealth and how we are in relationship with other people. You cannot constantly wait on all of the tables and people in your life without taking the opportunity to say,

you know what, I'm hungry too. And so I need you all who are people pleasers, who are need fillers, to begin to ask yourself, what do I need? Even if you're doing it while busting tables, right? There were times when I would be waitressing and I would be like, oh, when I get off, I'm going to have me some of that steak. When I get off, I'm going to do this.

When I get off, I want you to include as a part of your rhythm, a plan for what you need. Man, I wish somebody would help me with my kids. Man, I wish that I could get rest because we get so caught up in being the strong friend and taking care of everyone else's need that we don't even ask ourselves what we need. Maybe your shift isn't ending yet. Maybe there's no capacity in the world for you to have it right now,

but get in the practice of knowing at the tip of your tongue what it is that you need. I need a break. I need rest. I need a vacation. I need a good cry. You know what I mean? What is it that you need. I need a break. I need rest. I need a vacation. I need a good cry. You know what I mean? What is it that you need?

And be willing to embrace, be willing to embrace the reality that you always have a need. So if I take a minute right now, you take a minute with me, because we in it together. If I take a minute right now, and I still myself, oh, and I ask for my needs to rise to the

surface, I can tell you that right now I need rest. I'm tired. I'm on. I'll be honest. I'm tired. And right now I'll tell you, I don't have time to rest. I got to go pick up my kids in five minutes. This podcast has gone too long.

I got to go pick up my kids in five minutes. This podcast has gone too long. I got to go pick up my kids. But I am tired. I'd like to sleep. And I'm the only one who can pick them up. So I'm not even going to talk myself out of it, but I'm acknowledging that it is a need. I need... I can't see past rest. And maybe that's because the need is so big that I can't see past it. So because I'm in a position right now where I can't necessarily get rest in the way that I need it, God, I need you to give me rest in my spirit. To let my spirit not be anxious or worried or doubtful. Holy Spirit, allow me to have rest in my spirit and also give me strength, physical strength

to carry out what's left. And so what I know now, because I know I need rest, because I know I need strength, because I know I need strength, if someone calls me and they ask me to do something, I'm going to have to exercise a boundary because I know I need rest, that I'm running on fumes. Acknowledging your need, even when it cannot be immediately fulfilled, is not tormenting yourself with a reality that cannot be cured or changed. It is allowing yourself to better plan for the future.

It's allowing yourself to know more quickly what you need the next time someone says, is there anything I can do for you? It is allowing yourself to not just be the strong friend, but the friend who also gets hungry as well. And what's beautiful is when my need is met, I'm going to be up there pumping my chest doing what needs to be done,

because that's just the kind of girl that I am. I can be strong again, but right now I need to be empty. And that is power moves. That is power moves. That is how power moves. The most powerful thing that I can give myself today is the acknowledgement of my need. The most powerful thing that I can give myself today is the acknowledgement of my need for strength. And tomorrow, the most powerful thing that I can do might be sharing the gospel. It might be showing

up as a sister. I give myself permission to let power move. Can you say that with me? You're already repeating after me about this podcast being unhinged. I give myself permission to let power move. I'm so excited to serve you all with this, but please pre-order this book. Just do me a solid. Just like do me a solid because you love me if you love me or you like me or you stumbled across this podcast. Take a step of faith, dive into this book.

I believe that it's going to help you. I am contractually obligated to make sure that this podcast is at least 30 minutes long or to not do one and allow it to be picked up on the other end. But I just felt like coming on here running my mouth. So I hope that I haven't stressed your nerves out too bad. You know what? I should have made rest. Y'all, okay, last thing and then I'm late.

I got to go pick up my kids. Where is Kate Middleton? I know y'all don't care about the royal family and I'm going to be honest, neither did I. But I some came up on my for you page and I'm in there like swimwear now. Maybe they didn't Photoshop these photos. They didn't give me this picture in the car. And I don't care. I got other things to worry about.

Y'all not the only mature people on the phone call. I have other things to worry about as well. But also I don't have anything else to worry about. This is adulting these days. I am both fully consumed with a to-do list I cannot accomplish and also I have nothing to do. If you don't't understand that that's not on me To break down that is on you to take to the Lord in prayer so rescue

rescue Kate Period um I love you. We'll see how long this episode was If it was 30 minutes, I'm I don't I can't even because I had to break it up. So I'm going to say a prayer. If it's not 30 minutes, we're going to tack on something to the end of this and it's going to be as it'll be three minutes if it ain't because I got to be close. Okay, here we go. Oh, God, thank you. The power to be unhinged, the power to not hold it all together or to hang on, but to

let everything go and see how we flow is not something that we can do all of the time because let's be for real, we got responsibilities, we have things we need to do and we need to be very well hinged to show up in our life. But thank you God for the sweet moments where we can just exhale and let it all out and let it all go knowing that we we're gonna have to inhale again. And when we inhale, God, I pray that you would give us strength, wisdom, insight, peace, courage, love.

Sending special love to everyone listening, God. May they feel your presence, may they know you. Oh my goodness, I wish I could remember. Help me to remember Holy Spirit. I may remember it later. I pray though God that as this podcast comes to the end that they feel a little less alone, a lot more known, and almost grown. What is it?

What is it? Somebody help me. I got to write it down. All right. I love you. I will see you next week with Tops here. Tomorrow's Tuesday. I'm batch recording podcast. We have amazing guests. Dr. Anita Phillips, Tamron Hall. Like, I'm gonna be back in my bag. But right now, I am in my sack.

And that's alright.