Wonderful! - Ep. 29: Robby Stealins

Episode Date: July 27, 2016

Haha, we're having a super great time watching and talking about the Bachelorette this week. What a wild post-season, full of twists and turns that definitely DON'T defy human reasoning and logic! And man, what a lighthearted, well-intentioned Men Tell All, where absolutely no dickheads were given 75 minutes to barf their garbage on camera without reservation. A SUPER GREAT TIME. MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the bachelorette and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love, one man for my whole life. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hey, this is Griffin. Hey.

Sorry, go ahead. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is Rose Buddies. So today's episode, we're going to talk about season three, episode six of Boy Meets World. It's a new topic of this podcast, and we're doing kind of a change. I know you probably thought we're going to start with the pilot of the whole franchise. No, we're going to do it in media res.

Anyway, season three, episode six, Topanga gets her first monthly. Her first monthly? Yeah. Go into more detail on that. Well, Rachel, nobody's really quite sure what causes this. Most scientists agree

the moon. What about Corey? How's Corey? He gets his first monthly as well, but the boy version. Now I know you're curious. Yeah, I am. Have you seen the movie Junior starring Arnold Schwarzenegger? Of course I have not.

Okay. I don't know why you didn't come prepared for this lecture then. This was a trying week, I would say. I don't know why you didn't come prepared for this lecture then. This was a trying week, I would say, for anybody who is both like the rat bags and piss kids are only becoming worse. Yeah, like they're somehow, like I thought, I looked at that bag and I looked at that kid and I said, that's the most rats and piss you could fit in those two containers. But they find new ways to surprise me every week. And then sometimes the rats get in the piss and people come in and they piss on the rats.

They do like a little parfait. So this was a double week. First, we had the Fantasy Suites date with... Which is usually fun. Which is usually pretty fun. This one was... It's the cliffhanger. Yeah, it was the resolution's the cliffhanger. Yeah, it was the resolution of the cliffhanger.

And boy, we talked a lot of just straight jazz last week, huh? That ended up being completely wrong. Why do we fall for it, Griffin? Why do we keep falling for it? We practically have advanced degrees in this franchise. And yet somehow... Anyway, we had fantasy suites. And then today, just now, we just got finished watching the boys tell all.

And they told all the things. And it's just a lot of it was dedicated to just the Chad show. And it was just really. And we knew it would be. I know we would be. But I didn't expect it to get the full-blown fucking Ron Howard Hollywood treatment that Chad got. Yeah, he got a lot of setup, a lot of props. Pre-roll.

Like, okay, anyway, let's dig into it because it's a meaty convo topic. I'm hanging on the edge of the cliff last week. Ah, baby, I can't believe I have to hold on to this cliff for a full week. Help me up. Hand me a carabiner. Hand me a pitton or python. Nobody's really sure how that word is said. So the men stood quietly in

that airplane hangar for a week for seven days while we all waited for the episode to resume when it cut back they all looked very pale and like all of them had pissed their pants like of course they just messed they'd use all those fake suitcases and trunks around for for toilets for toilets so anyway they've they had like a little toilet prison that they were locked in so last week ended with jojo having a meltdown out on the tarmac uh this episode starts luke returns to the hangar after confessing his undying fucking cowboy love which is the best kind of love that there is. It's the best kind of love. I give you 100% pure love from my heart every day, baby.

We wake up and I do my little dedication to you every morning. That's true. But I will never be able to give you that good cowboy love that you deserve. No. I was talking about the expressions that Luke has. I mean, he's definitely a stoic man. I was going to say, you mean none? But he has this kind of haunted seriousness

that is a little hard to look at. Yeah. But also inspires such confidence that he's not going to mess with you. There's a seriousness, but also an extreme reckless handsomeness that combined. Like, I don't, I really, he's not hard to look at in that, like, he's unpleasant. I mean, I don't know where, I don't know which features to really gaze upon.

Exactly. Yeah, there's a lot going on. There's so much going on. So we thought last week when JoJo tells us, the i've got to send luke home we thought oh oh there's no way they would show us that if it was going to happen and so the rose ceremony starts jordan first rose which by the way i want to go back and watch all the rose ceremonies because it's always jordan i feel like it's like you remember that season of um uh burning love where the woman was the bachelorette and every time they did a rose ceremony she'd just be like blaze blaze blaze come get i feel like jordan is the blaze this season

uh jordan robbie which we were a little surprised about i think because we thought robbie's ex might have topped the the list of issues for her. Yeah, I don't know. And then it's down to Luke or Chase. I think... Well, Chase, you've had a good run on the show, buddy. Yeah. I think Fantasy Suites next week. We know things are hot and heavy with

JoJo and Luke. Who does she want to bring to that Fantasy Suite? Turns out it's Chase. Turns out she would rather have Chase in the fantasy suite. He's her fantasy baby. Not the guy who, like, she, like, feels up all of his butt cheek meat. Yeah. As often as she possibly can.

I guess she's already had the fantasy suite, huh? She's already bought the cow and got the milk and sold the cow. Boy, that cowboy love. So she eliminates Luke. I am in San Antonio when this happens. Griffin is in Austin. He probably heard me from San Antonio yell no at the top of my lungs. You probably heard me yell no, too.

I was upset because, first of all, like, we were so desperately wrong. Yeah. We were so enormously, first of all, we were so desperately wrong. Yeah. We were so enormously, hugely wrong. Yeah. But the other thing is that you and I, we are now out of our fantasy league. Yeah, we are out of the running. We had fucking Chad, Luke, and Jordan.

How did we lose? This is a topsy-turvy-ass season the bachelor at starring jojo fletcher um so jojo is very very upset to say goodbye to luke just a lot of sobbing luke is too but it's hard to see it's harder to see it you know i mean luke is like this is not supposed to be happening i thought you wanted this too i'm gonna miss you him saying this is not supposed to be happening i wondered if there was like an element of like no you don't understand this literally isn't supposed to be happening there was a deal we had a deal um he says you know i could have proposed today um and jojo is upset and she's like what if this was a mistake and I'm thinking Jojo you wouldn't have cried like this if you said goodbye to Chase

and she doesn't but okay so she just it's just like I don't understand I don't I don't understand how this season is wrapping up I don't get it if

Luke is not the second place dude, like, I just felt like I got, I understood this show to the point where I could know who the top three were gonna be. Definitively. Nothing about Luke changed. Luke was the same the whole time.

And last week we were talking about, like, it's crazy that they did this act of, oh, she's gonna send Luke home, because that would mean that, like, she's only sending the guy who said, I love you last home. Well, Chase hadn't said it either. That's a bonkers, I guess that's true. Yeah, really, really weird. I feel like I have no idea. I have no idea where the season's going to end up.

If it actually does end up with her getting engaged to jordan i will be i will be shocked i will be shocked at the amount of brand building that went into the jordan rogers 2020 experience to have him then be relegated to the the winner of the show the winner's circle which is a cool circle because it's also a toilet hole that you stand in and get flushed down the relevant sewers. Well, that's not fair. Isn't that fair? I would say a lot of bachelorette couples are still relevant. For sure, definitely. Sean and Catherine, not counting them.

Oh, dude, fucking Des and... Chris. Chris, yes, dude, for sure. Caitlin and Sean. Caitlin and Sean. Just everywhere all the time. Oh, dude, I was just reading about Sean's new... He does fitness.

He's got a new brand of like... He does fitness stuff. Fitness towels that he's invented. Yeah, I was just reading he did a really erudite interview on... No, dog. Yeah. When you win the show, it's fine. Like, you get married. Sometimes you get married and have a baby and you're the show it's fine like you get married sometimes you get married and have a baby and you're in love and happy forever and no shade but you're not

you're not on that nick v train of the second place boy who's gonna be on this show until he dies yeah who's just gonna keep accidentally ending up on the show um anyway we've anyway we have a lot of we have a lot of television show to talk about they go to thailand uh and they start off the thailand adventure with robbie uh in a market they're looking at foods uh making yuck faces it starts raining and so they go get foot massages that looked dope actually yeah i feel like if i was ever bachelor which that would be a weird like my life would have had to have taken some pretty weird twists and turns um but i think i would be like all right for this date massages uh and then people like again didn't you just take susan on a date? Like, yeah, I did. This is important to me.

This one, we're going to make sushi. Didn't you make sushi? Didn't you make sushi? Yeah, shut up and play Pokemon with me while we get rubbed and eat sushi. Which is actually, that's how Griffin and I spent our first seven dates, I think. That's true, because I'm a kindergartner. Who likes sushi and massages. Yeah.

That's true, because I'm a kindergartner. Like sushi and massages. Yeah. One thing you'll see on these week post hometowns is that everybody debriefs their hometown and talks about how happy it made them, which is what Robbie does. And all the guys do. I don't remember anything about Robbie's family. They also talk about how, oh, Robbie's mom was the one who was like, hey, you should know the rumors. Oh, right, yeah.

Okay, now I remember. Because Robbie and JoJo debrief and say, I feel really good that we had that confrontation where we really worked some stuff out and it went so well. Here's the thing about Robbie. He is very, very, very into JoJo, and he's very, very vocal about how into JoJo he is. More than Chase is capable of saying.

Yeah. And far more than Jordan wants to say. Exactly. Robbie is always making a case for himself. And even on this date, he's like, you know, you should know that I'm honest. Because, for example i told you i loved you way back when we were in uruguay like he's like saying like of course look i i have proof yeah that i'm an honest person because i said i love you way too early first one yeah um

uh so then they they do more kissing. It's raining. And then nighttime comes. Robbie shows up in white pants. Uh-oh. Is that okay? You know, he wears white pants a lot, I've noticed. Do you think he's just showing off, like, how clean he can be? I couldn't wear white pants.

I would get, like, barbecue sauce on them somehow very fast. But I think there's boys that have a certain skill that they just like... You know how they say you're supposed to put a napkin in your lap when you eat? Uh-huh. There's people who do that every time. Yeah. I'll do it if I'm at a wedding or something like that. But who can remember to do it every time?

I mean, I usually do. Yeah, right. I would notice if I was dating one of Professor Xavier's gifted children. I mean, it's not always I don't have like a cloth napkin in my purse for all occasions. Well, no. Usually it's just a piece of

paper towel. That'd be gross if you just had some nasty rag in your purse that you used to mop up barbecue sauce and then put it back in the purse anyway tell me about robbie's fucking night moves i would love to see i would love to hear about that man's sexual exploits well jojo and robbie sit down and jojo starts off saying you know this is this is the night that i told ben that i was in love with him um which i thought you know that's a weird commemoration yeah and then she she's talking to him and he pulls out a note

that his dad snuck into his jeans hold on wait okay I should mention you were watching this by yourself in a hotel room in San Antonio I was watching it with a big old rowdy group and for my friends I picked up indian

food i didn't really do anything um but i missed i missed the part where he said his dad snuck a note in his jeans yeah yeah he pulled it out of his pocket okay but please please we can't blow past this i know was he wearing the jeans when his dad fucking Oliver Twist like Fagin's boys like pickpocketed him. I think he said I didn't feel it or anything. Like I think there was a suggestion that somehow the note ended up in his jeans without him knowing.

That's the best fucking little dad sneaky crime. I wish at this point the Bachelorette somehow had footage of that. Oh, my God. Release the tapes. Release the dad. It's like night vision footage of him like sneaking through the hallway.

Frame by frame. He's like on the fucking ceiling with suction cups. So Robbie has Jojo read the note and the note says a number of things like, Robbie, I can tell you're in love with her. Don't get down about your ex. You'll never see me coming. Oh, and by the way, there's leftovers in the freezer if you're hungry tomorrow when you wake up. I stole your wallet again.

I'm sorry, but you've abandoned your ninjutsu training. And this is the only way I know how to punish you, son. There's another note in your bedroom somewhere. You have 10 minutes to find it. It'd be fucking great if Rob was like, anyway, let me pay for dinner. And he reaches down to his wallet pocket and his dad had like snuck a smoke bomb into his white pants. This is embarrassing.

My dad ninjutsu'd me again. I hate my assassin dad. And so Robbie says, Jojo, you can keep this note and anytime if you like doubt us or our connection, you can read this note and know that the person that knows me best

could tell that I was in love with you. It's weird. Bad gift. Weird and bad. Weird and bad. Then immediately go from that into the Chris Harrison invite into the fantasy suite.

Because nothing gets me lubed up more than knowing that. I wish he reached into his pocket and he's like, wait, I have another note. And this one's from Chris Harrison. Wow. People are just getting in my jeans fucking left and right. And my jeans are so tight.

My jeans are very tight. But the pockets are really big. These are JNCOs that I had hemmed in significantly. Did any other jean company make a large pocket jean? I feel like we give a lot of attention to JNCO. There had to be JNCO knockoffs, right? There had to be like... What were they called, do you think? I mean, Levi probably had

like the... The circus tent? The Levi's tent legs. And then there was the Oshkosh Bagosh elephant pants. For kids. For kids, yeah. But adults could have fun with them, too.

And then they also made, like, elephant pants-sized rompers. What if it was, like, Oshkosh B'Dam? Because it's for adults. Oshkosh B'fuck. It'd be their big pants. You are going to be swimming in this romper. So they decided to go to the fantasy suite.

And Robbie starts calling her Joelle in his camera interviews. This has happened a few times now. And only here in the postseason have people started to call you JoJo is a child's name. And I'm in love with you. So it's time to leave behind. I'm really excited to spend more time and get to know Joelle he tells the camera I've seen her vagina now so I'm going to call her Joelle

is that a transformation word? that's what it seems like and Jojo who has sworn to us the viewer and to the camera that she's not going to say I love you to any of the guys after what Ben put her through. So she tells Robbie, I do have strong

feelings for you. That's about as much as we get. But she tells the camera she's in love with Robbie. Yeah, she does. At this point, she says to the camera, I am ready to say that I am in love with Robbie. Yes. Which is buck wild. Robbie?

Yeah, I don't know how it happened. Robert? I think all I can gather is that he just, he gives her that sweet love. It is nothing against Robbie. It is more of a knock against his show. Because when she told Robbie's mom, it came out of fucking nowhere. I know. I think I'm in love with Robbie.

What? Yeah, when did that happen? When? How? When did it happen? This is bonkers. I mean, it's like, I think it's the power of suggestion, right? He said super early, hey, by the way, I'm in love with you.

And then maybe just whispered it in her ear a little bit every day after that like hey he uses ninjutsu ninjutsu training by the way i'm in love with you put a love veil over her eyes and and at first she was probably like oh that's crazy and the second time she's like that couldn't be crazy and then the third day it was like well he seems pretty sincere and the fourth day it was like maybe well, he seems pretty sincere. And then the fourth day it was like, maybe I'm in love with him. Yeah. That's probably how it worked out. Who was next up?

Oh, they probably had a sexual evening. Next morning, they're in bed, shoes on the table, there's plates of food. Shoes are on the table? Yeah. They do this thing sometimes where they show the bachelorette's shoes as if to suggest she must have taken them off because they're the shoes from the day before. Or that they got boned so hard that the shoes were flying off in a comical manner. Neatly on the end table, Robbie's shirtless. And yeah, that's the end of the date.

She tells us the camera, you know, that she's in love with Robbie, that she can't believe that she's in this position where she loves multiple guys and that she has three guys that she's, quote, goo goo gaga over. Wait, so she specifically doesn't say she's in love with three guys. She says she's in love with multiple guys, but that she likes all the guys. Yeah. Goo goo gaga. Multiple guys, but that she likes all the guys. Yeah. Which is bad enough to know that like, sorry, Shaz. Because you know Jordan's not the goo goo one. He's not the goo goo doll. You are, Shaz.

Next up was Jordan. Jordan meets Jojo at the shore, takes a boat, and they decide to go on a hike. A very, very sweaty. Very sweaty. Very sweaty hike. Very moist. A lot of stairs on that hike. A lot of glistening and a lot of reflections of the skin.

They go up this big hike, and then they go down into a cave. At this point, she has to put on a jacket because she's not, and again, no shade. But she says, I have to cover up my shoulders because I'm about to go into a temple. And like, but you're also like wearing like kind of a bare midriff dealie. And I don't, I think it looks fantastic. Everything looks fantastic on you, Jojo. But I don't understand how that one thing is allowed and the other is not at the temple. That's true though.

That's true with a lot of holy sites. When I went to the Vatican, I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and a religious official looking man tapped me. I had to go into a gift shop and buy a shirt that said chow chow instead of Coca-Cola so I could go into. Is that what they call Coca-Cola in Italy? No, it's just like a novelty shirt. It's supposed to look like Coca-Cola, but it says Chow Chow. Man, I bet you that gift shop makes a killing, huh? I know, yeah.

But what I was saying is you probably didn't put that shirt on and then roll up the belly of it so that your bear major was still showing. And then like a cardinal saw you and was like a-okay yeah i love that belly now we're now we're doing it um they were they couldn't kiss they could not kiss and this happened to this happened like a couple seasons ago maybe i want to say emily's season where they like went to some i think it was more recent than maybe it was where they weren't allowed to smooch maybe caitlin um she's like oh this is good you know that we're not kissing because now we can really I think it was more recent than Emily's season. Yeah, maybe it was where they weren't allowed to smooch. Maybe Caitlin. And she's like, oh, this is good, you know, that we're not kissing because now we can really connect emotionally. Now I can really put the screws to you without having to worry about getting smooched.

And she does, man. Like, I admire the fact that JoJo is just not letting up with Jordan Rodgers every single time they have a date. It's like, yeah yeah but do you really say that because ben ben told me all the right things too and then uh he broke my heart so really i think this is just that here's the thing i noticed i don't know if you noticed this so with robbie they didn't even talk about the upcoming week yeah but with jordan she's like so my family's gonna be here you know like you know next week my family's gonna be

in town he's like oh well tell me about your family and she talks about her family she didn't do that with any of the other guys no and she also asks jordan something that she doesn't ask the other guys which is what do you what do you see for this upcoming year yeah which is the fucking slowest, laziest little slow ball that she could have heaved and rolled even in his direction. And he says, you know, I don't know. It depends on a lot of things. It could go any way, really. Yeah, she's like, I've done long distance before.

And, you know, I know that you might have to travel a lot. And he's like, no no i don't have roots right now which i think is good clearly not getting what she's trying to say and then he's like so you know i could be wherever you need to be but it gets him it takes him so long to get there i don't know in a job interview you wouldn't say where do you see yourself in the next year god i don't know who God, I don't know. Who knows what tomorrow has in store, right? Carpe diem.

Love you, Bohem. Really don't like to commit to anything. Really like to keep all of my options open all the time. Could walk out of here and an asteroid lands on me. I've been thinking about designing a new wide pocket jean. I'm thinking about these jeans, okay? Hear me out. They're like JNCOs, but you hem them in real tight.

Has all the functionality of JNCOs, none of the flutter. They're real wide everywhere except the ankle. And so I think there's a huge market for these. Sinbad and his fashion is really coming back in a big way. It's like Sinbad pants, but in denim. In denim. It's like a denim Sinbad and his fashion is really coming back in a big way. It's like Sinbad pants, but in denim. In denim. It's like a denim Sinbad pant. But something formal.

It's like a formal denim Sinbad pant. And I think that's just what we're going to call the name of the company. Nighttime. Yes. They go on a nighttime date um and this is when they have their big talk about the next year um jojo says that she's nervous about his lifestyle jordan says he doesn't need a home base uh and j Jordan's like hey you know what I want to spend my life with you and that's when Jojo's like well that's what Ben said yeah I love it

and Jojo's like well how do you know and Jordan's like well how do you know and she's like no no no I want to know how you know and Jordan says I have a feeling when I'm with you that I've never had before and any number of other things just kind of saying, this is different.

I know. I'm a better person. I like you. That kind of thing. It's so weird that she is giving him, she is like vetting him. Right? She's not vetting the other boys. No. And if it was all... Even I'm

starting to think, I know that you don't trust him but i don't even remember why anymore i don't just trust i don't she just keeps saying uh he seems too good to be true and it's just like wait why don't you say that about robbie it's because robbie said robbie is so fast to dish out the i love you stuff. And here's the thing why I think she trusts Robbie is because I think she very, very, very, very badly wants to end up with Jordan Rodgers. But is afraid that Jordan Rodgers isn't like here for it. And I think this may go and I'm not romantically invested in this season of The Bachelorette at all. I don't think none of this shit's cute. But I think the fact that she's vetting Jordan Rodgers,

I think it takes it like one step past kayfabe, where it's not just like them telling the story for the show. She's asking questions that you would genuinely really like to know the answer to before you get engaged to somebody that you might actually really like and well and that's the process right like there's such a time sensitive pressure to it that she's like hey man hey man it's real soon now yeah she's not doing that to the other guys no so like she doesn't give a shit what the answer to that question is for the other guys no so like she doesn't give a shit what the answer to that question is for the other guys you know what i'm saying which makes you think like she like either she would treat jordan the same way she treats robbie and not get into like the

logistics of life and stuff like that um and then like they get engaged and who gives a shit what happens after that but the fact that she is like asking those questions makes me think like i think jojo actually likes jordan a lot and it's kind of probing him to see like if he's down to clown irl outside of the fiction of this television show yeah um so they go to the fantasy suite um jojo tells us that she's also in love with jordan uh and then the next morning same kind of thing breakfast Jordan's not wearing a shirt and then Jordan tells the camera

something like got everything I wanted that was oh man that was so bad he didn't tell the camera that worse Jojo says did you enjoy last night and he says I feel like I got everything I wanted. Which, in the room, I was watching it, and I was standing next to Chris, and Chris was

like, that is the most selfish thing I've ever... Did you enjoy our sex experience that we had last night? I mean, I got everything I wanted, so yes. Did you enjoy our first night that we ever had together as a couple privately without cameras being on us? Like ever in the history of our lives? I mean, I got, I came. So sure, I definitely did. He maybe didn't come, but like, come on.

That answer is so selfish. Maybe. I got, hey, work for the joe row maybe what he meant was like you know i got the time that i wanted with you i got every time that i had wanted all three minutes of it's just like it's a really that doesn't have to be awful i don't think it's a really busted even if the intent was good the way he said it was the most busted shit ever. And the fact that they showed us that as the viewer makes me think that they recognize that too. So JoJo says, gosh, I'm in love with two guys.

Could it maybe be three guys? And then we go to Chase. Which is really how you want to approach any romantic encounter, is with the mindset of, let's see if we can't make this a hat trick. Let's see if I can't make myself fall in love with a third man tonight. That's what's so weird about Chase, and what makes the whole situation so confusing, is that it doesn't seem like she's in love with Chase, but she's really open to the possibility.

That sentiment has been said on both sides of the aisle a lot this season of, I really wanted to be in love with you. And it's like, you've already said you're in love with two guys. Why would you want to be in love

with three guys? That's going to make your job much harder, but not only that, you know what it's like to be in the losing end of that situation. Yeah. From the last season of the show. Yeah. Like, usually there'll be a thing where the bachelor or bachelorette will say, you know, we just haven't come along as fast as my other relationships. Yeah. Usually that'll be a reason.

Like, not like I was waiting and waiting and waiting to fall in love with you but like i recognize i'm further along with other people i'm gonna say goodbye i love other people more not i wish i loved you more but i don't know how that like how do you do that that's such a weird way of thinking about human connection not just like reality show love but like man i really wish we were better friends yeah it's a weird way to break up with somebody just like you know you must have fucked up somewhere

because I wanted it real bad we went out to dinner a few times and we saw a couple movies and you know we spent the night and I tried to fall in love with you every single time and she said like what's wrong with me that I didn't fall in love? Nothing. You're not insufficient in some way.

Anyway, what's up, Chase? Chase. Hopefully you haven't spoiled what's going on with old Shaz on this episode. Shaz up on a motorcycle. They go to a fish market and all of a sudden. Okay. Shaz. I'm calling him Shaz because he's not chase anymore he's quote extra playful he's ecstasy he's on ecstasy i'm not

kidding chase was on like mescaline or something i hadn't seen this man smile or laugh at all the entire season. And now all of a sudden he is just going for it. Hop on my scooter. Did you see that monkey? He's trying to drink himself up. Little puppet routines with the fish. And he's just, they're excited about monkeys and Chase is just, he's giddy.

He's just a giddy man. And it's unsettling it's it's really really genuinely very strange to watch this guy like if he had this much personality like the entire i can't even envision what that would have been like that would have been really rough to watch i got like a real keanu reeves bill and ted's vibe is that that's a really good way of putting it. It didn't necessarily feel like this is a side of Chase we haven't gotten to see. It was more like

I have adopted the persona of somebody that has fun. It was really, really, really weird. This is what a person that has fun is like. I don't want to be mean to Shas. It's just like you can't for eight weeks or however long have this fairly dry personality.

And then in your swan song, in your final hour, be weirdly bubbly. Man, it was bizarre. Yeah. So they have a kind of a beach date. They go in the ocean. They go in the ocean. They sit in the sand. And then they break up. This is something you see a lot on the one-on-ones is there's a daytime and a nighttime.

And so in between the daytime and the nighttime, they go back to their respective rooms and change. He cracks open another vial of whatever. respective rooms and change. He cracks open another vial of whatever. And while JoJo's in her room getting ready for the nighttime date, Robbie shows up. Oh, Robbie. Says he's missed her and that he's thinking about her. And then he says, quote, country clubs and coloring books.

What does that mean? I think it's something they talked about, their future together. That's a shit future. What they wanted, that he's ready to get down on one knee and that he wants it to be all country clubs and coloring books is that different from paper airplanes and blueberries i guess so yeah i mean it just it sounds like something really white people say. Yeah, you just want to be a super rich, super white couple with an artistic child? Or is it an adult coloring book that you're going to fill out while staying at a country club? That's a really weird thing. I don't know.

We don't get any context. I completely missed it. So now you're catching this first wave of anger from me hearing this dumb, dumb thing. Yeah. He basically, he's reminding her, I love you, I see a future together, I think about our kids and our exclusive membership to a country club that we'll have.

And also coloring. We're going to color or something, I don't know. And so JoJo's like, hey, thanks for stopping by. And that's kind of Robbie's moment. He throws his grappling hook up the chimney and zips away. I'm obsessed with this idea, by the way, that Robbie's family are all like ninja assassins. And then JoJo looks down and all of a sudden like...

Her pants are just full of notes. What the fuck? There's like 18 notes in my pants. He fit a coloring book in my pocket. He fit a coloring book. This is so weird. Suddenly I'm a member of a country club. There's a contract in my jeans.

I own a timeshare at a country club. A timeshare at a country club? I didn't even know that was possible. So there's, then we go back to Chase State. It's nighttime. It's dinner. Chase says, hey, after today, you know, I just, I had a really good time with you. They do the fantasy suite card.

They're both on board. They get back to the fantasy suite. Chase says, hey, I just want you to know that I, you know, I've been scared this whole time. And I want to say that I'm 100% in love with you. And I know the burden that sentence carries. But I do love you. Which I wrote down because that's a very common way of phrasing that. Yeah.

And Jojo starts to get very, very nervous, excuses herself, and then goes and sits out, like, just out of eyeline of him, and just gets really nervous and upset. Just centers herself. She's like, I got this, quote, overwhelming feeling of doubt right after he said it. Has there ever been a

situation where somebody said, I love you, and then the other person left for a trip and then they came back in and was like i love you too you know how great would that have been i'm glad that you gave me that moment to really compose myself i was so excited by your proclamation and i was trying to think of the nah dog that ain't no nah shaz when we looking, the camera is set up so that we can see JoJo having her panic. And like over her shoulder back, we can see Chase behind the screen door sitting in the room just like, uh. Putting some weird dropper on his tongue.

Just a re-up and just a buffer for what's about to happen. No, yeah, she comes back in and breaks it off. Says, I don't feel the same way. Yeah, I needed to take a moment, and when you said that, I just didn't feel the way I expected to feel. It's like the same thing that she told Luke and James Taylor and Alex. This has happened a few times now. Tell me you're in love with me.

Oh, wait, I don't love you. times now tell me you're in love with me oh wait i don't love you it's like a it's like an even more it's like an even more brutal ax man method where the ax man will at least cut you off before you got like kayla the day kayla was gonna profess her love she's like he was like nope ready to do it but i just want you to axed. She doesn't give him that level of civility. Just like, yes, give me the love. I will use it as a whetstone against

my blade. Axed. I'm just saying. She learned from the best. Well, but she didn't though, because she did it wrong. No, I mean, she's doing it right for her. Oh, okay. So Chase is immediately upset. He's incredulous.

He just says, oh, my God, I just said I love you, and now I'm skewered. So now love equals get the fuck out, and you didn't give it a chance. And JoJo's response to that is like she is also kind of incredulous like when he says so the when he says that specific line about so now love means get the fuck out she's like chase like no dog like that's not there's a weird like battle of the um not guilt trip or whatever but like neither of them handle this energy especially well. Yeah, he tries to walk out at that point and she chases him.

Ha! Oh. Yeah. She chases Chase and he's like, none of this makes sense. Holy shit. I'm sorry. I just I was thinking about verbs.

Robbie's name literally is like he's like a stealthy little robber. And Chase gets chased. And Chase gets chased. And Jordan Jord Jord

Keep going. This is good. this is good this is good joe yeah he and then luke luke luke luke um he you would say like oh luke it's luke like look like look because he always has that look on his face. Yeah, he's always got that Luke on his face. Jorn. Jorn. Dan. So Chase is really upset.

The Robbie one is really good, though. What are we going to name our stealth assassin son? Thiefo? No. Robbie? There it is. Steelers? Steelins? Robbie Steelins is my name. Oh my gosh, that's good. Robbie Steelins for next Bachelor.

So Chase is really upset. Jojo doesn't want him to leave upset um he mysteriously has a beer suddenly in his hand that was great he opens it as he's getting into a van says guess this is my fantasy suite and then he jerks off right there and it's the weirdest part of the whole episode griffin no he doesn't. He says, he does say that, you know, I can't believe I just said I love you. It's like pulling your pants down and getting kicked in the nuts. And then he said, that gives me a

great idea. I'm Chase Pursuans. Oh, God. Now watch me go. And then he sings Fantasy by Mariah Carey to himself. Like, master baseball. Drinking a beer in the back of a car in Thailand. And that's legal. It's all open container. Like, totally cool.

So don't even worry about it. Okay. Okay. So now it's rose ceremony time. And we think, and or know, that it's just going to be Jordan and Robbie. And JoJo also thinks that.

And says, well, but the roses still have to be accepted, so I'm going to do the ceremony. and Jojo also thinks that and says well but the roses still have to be accepted so I'm going to do the ceremony and she starts telling Jordan and Robbie like it's it's just you two sent Chris home and then Chris doesn't do anything

doesn't do anything of course as is his custom this season and the past four seasons. No, he does show up. He does kind of welcome the guys to the rose ceremony. And one thing I thought was funny is Chris talks to Jordan and says, Jordan, how you doing? And Jordan's like, oh, I'm really confident now because of our alone time. And Robbie says, yeah, it was really good to have some time off camera just to fall more in love with her. And Chris says, oh, you're in love.

I just think, hey, Chris, welcome to the party. Hey, bud. Robbie's been in love for like a month. For like, yeah. Where have you been? Anyway, Shaz shows up. Anyway, Shaz shows up. And this was the Shaz that I'm more accustomed to seeing.

Like, very low key. Well, the dudes, it was interesting to see Jordan and Robbie, because at this point, their reaction was just kind of like exasperated, but in this kind of defeated way. Like, yeah, I expected this. Yeah, this is the show. So Chase just wants to say, hey, I feel bad the way we left. I admire you. I'm not mad at you.

And I didn't want it to end that way. My heart's still open for you. And I wanted you to know that. And she's like, hey, thanks, more or less. And then he gets up and walks away again. And a monkey follows him, which I thought was fun. It was a very sad little scene. And then she just jumps right back into the rose ceremony.

Flings those roses. Says Jordan's name first again. Yeah, has to. And then Robbie's name. Jordan, then Robbie, huh? Everybody's real sweaty. Oh, yeah. And there's some more monkey shots.

And that's the end of the episode. Monkey shots should be the name of this season. Just because it's all, even when the monkeys weren't involved it was just all monkey shots right i don't know there's something metaphoric in what you're saying that i don't get it's fine that's what metaphors are for you don't have to really define them they don't have to mean anything pigs in the castle pigs in the castle he's in the barn what's the one we learned tonight it was so dumb i've tried to like forget it from my brain please don't please sometimes you choose apples when you should have chose pickles. That was actually.

Yeah. So anyway, that was that. And then there was a teaser for next week's episode, which let's not get into it. Let's let some magic still be in it. Got checked because like we're about to go into Mintel all. So like this was really the substantial story development part of this. Like, I just don't know where it's going. I don't know that I particularly, I don't really care.

I don't think about this for now. I mean, I do care in the sense that, like, I really don't think Jordan's going to get it. And it would be weird if he did. Yeah, I'm already thinking Next Bachelor, honestly. Like, I'm thinking, is it Luke? That would be weird television. Like, obviously, they built him up so much.

But then I remembered they built up Kayla, too, and then pulled her out when they found another more exciting Bachelorette. I mean, I said this a while ago. I don't think Luke would be in it. I like Luke a lot. I don't think he'd be in a special. Maybe it'll be Robbie. Oh, God.

I don't. I don't. I feel like I don't know anything about Robbie except he's very, very into JoJo. I really don't. And that he- Well, and then the extra. That's like it. That's not a lot to go on.

No. JoJo like revealed herself to be like a very emphatic and like pleasant person in the last like back half of Ben's season. I don't think, I don't think that any other dude really had that going for him except jordan who's like been kind of pleasant the whole time unless they pull a juan pablo season and they go way back in the roster i mean and pick somebody like wells it's like the only guy like i really find enjoyable and unique enough to like have an interesting narrative in their season other than like I am handsome and that's like it.

Is Wells as beloved nationwide as he is in like the hardcore Bachelor watching? I think he is. Okay. I think he is. He's got thischat account where he does little recaps of the episodes but he's on he's on bip right in wells on bip i think so yeah okay so anyway anyway let's talk about this men tell all because fuck it was so gnarly for most of it men tell all here's what we know going in We know there's going to be a lot of Chad.

Like we know that's going to happen. What we don't expect is what happens, which is before the mental even starts. We see Chad all in black whistling, walking out of a like a black car into what they've set up to appear as his own private trailer with a star on it that says Chad. Like, they fucking, like, canonize him. Like, they give him, he gets a cut scene. Yeah. That's, like, supposed to make him look like this larger-than-life character. And, like, we're going to get into this real hot and heavy,

but, like, I get that they're trying to make a television show, and they need big characters on this television show and chad was a very very big character on this television show but he's also a genuinely like out this is me outside of like bachelor critic like storyline critic griffin he's a really shitty dude. Yeah. With like genuinely harmful elements about him. Yeah. That ABC was not only like allowing to blossom in this mental all, they fucking like celebrated it. Mm-hmm. And encouraged it and made sure that like there were plenty of opportunities for this shit to go down.

Yeah. They cut. So the mental all, just as a reminder for those of you that to go down. Yeah, they cut. So the mental, just as a reminder for those of you that don't watch the show, they bring back all the cast-offs and give them an opportunity to ask questions of JoJo, to rehash or get closure on any outstanding conflict. And there's a live audience. Yes. And inevitably, somebody in that live audience is going to stand up and interrupt things yeah that happened this time too but

chad got this like superstar treatment that was so fucking gross because like at the end of the day he is like a a kind of um like him at the very least, emotionally abusive person. Every time I watch him, I just turn to Griffin and I say, what happened to Chad? What happened to you? Chad seems to be modeling a type of behavior that could only be learned. Like, he must have had somebody in his life that was just awful. That's all I can think. It's so weird. that was just awful. That's all I can think. This isn't like,

it's so weird because talking about him like this, I feel like it's only serving to like build the Chad character brand of oh, he's such a bad boy. I don't think he's TV's bad boy. I think he's like a genuinely shitty, abusive dude

that ended up on a television show. And then- He's not like. I think he's like a genuinely shitty, abusive dude that ended up on a television show. And then he's not like Sawyer from Lost, who's like sketchy guy with a heart of gold. No, he's like a he's just like a provocateur made manifest. And like this garbage shit he does has extended well beyond the confines of the television show to further build his brand as a villain. It's weird. There have been purposeful villains on this show before

and then they get kicked off the show and you never hear from them again. Unless they end up in BIP or whatever. That hasn't been the case with Chad who's gone on to do heinous shit. Yeah yeah he seems to actively work at continuing to be awful and that's like his character yeah and it's such a shit like it's the wildest most um transparent double standard in that like he calls out and he does

it during this mental all he like calls out everybody for being there for for being fake like oh this guy's a radio dj this guy was entertainment group this guy's all these people are here for other reasons where they have like these brands are trying to build fuck off dude you are bachelor villain chad you're very good at being bachelor villain chad but don't fucking pretend like that's not why you're here and what you're doing and what you're doing outside of the show yeah you're still on like you're on twitter and instagram building the bachelor villain chad brand boy that's a that's a stable that's a stable industry if i've ever heard one yeah uh so they show a montage of all the different conflicts um of course the stuff with chad stuff with alex um derrick the non-chat complex i forgot how like hard those were to stomach because some of them were like clown town baby they kind of start out

with alex um because alex at first has a lot of issues with chad and then suddenly he has a lot of issues with derrick um he just seems to kind of keep finding fights. At which point Wells kind of succinctly says, you know, Alex is a veteran. He seems to feel the most comfortable in conflict. And, you know, and it's more a reflection of his experience in the military. Santa Claus Nick confronts Wells and says, oh, you're saying that Alex feels the most comfortable in conflict. How is that any different than Chad?

Which I thought was kind of an interesting point, is that Alex and Chad do have a lot of similarities. And Luke. Luke was a, there were three veterans on this season. Yeah. Maybe more, I think. Well, not the fact that they were veterans but the fact that alex and chad both were constantly in conflict with

somebody in the house over something yeah except alex's wasn't as assertive like alex would you saw in the his last episode that he was on when he gets like the double rose with um with uh uh oh my god i can't believe i forgot the folk singer's name james taylor i guess the double rose of james taylor he's like fuck it i shouldn't be here this is a pity rose she doesn't want me here but whatever like he didn't say i'm gonna cut their arms and legs off and throw their torsos in the pool yeah no that's true i'm not saying that alex is as bad as shad i just think that there were a arms and legs off and throw their torsos in the pool. Yeah, no, that's true.

I'm not saying that Alex is as bad as Chad. I just think that there were a lot of similarities there. Um, Alex was definitely the most like, um, confrontational person in the house other than Chad. Yeah. And one thing that Luke says in response to all of that,

he's like, yeah, you know, I've seen a lot of people in the military that can react certain ways in conflict and just become very responsive. And he's like, you know, but as you get more maturity, you know, you can make a choice on how you proceed, which just kind of, again, draws distinction between Luke and the other guys. Like, Luke was just very much like. Just chill, man. Like, hey, I'm an adult and this stuff you guys are doing doesn't make any sense to me.

I bet that probably, like, fed into him thinking he was a frontrunner as well. And, like, fed into his, like, shock that he got fourth place. Because, like, for the most part, he did stay above, like, the baby town shit that every other guy in the house got into. Yeah. So then the guys start talking about Chad again. Daniel's saying everyone's too insecure. Evan talks about steroids again. Ali says, you know, we really did all kind of gang up on Chad.

And Grant's like, oh, well, clearly there's a problem if everybody's against one person. And then Wells finally says, we're not going to keep talking about Chad when he's not on the stage. Wells, God. Like, Wells is the voice of reason. Like, the only person saying. Actually, JoJo had a really, really, really, really good way of dealing with Chad. Yeah, she has a good moment. But.

So, Chad comes out. Literally an hour and five minutes of this two hour long episode is all people talking about at least chad at least maybe more so yeah so chad comes out on stage uh and immediately they talk about the fact that chad has been seen and communicating with both grant and robbie's exes And he tries to play it so cool. It's like, yeah, we're just talking. They're just nice ladies. Yeah, they're nice ladies.

I just feel like they were treated poorly, and I just wanted them to know we weren't all bad. Both of them got left by somebody to be on the show, and I just wanted to come and say, all of us on the show, we're not bad guys. Hey, that's a fucking crazy motive. Yeah. Your boyfriend's dumped you to go be on this television show,

so I wanted to come and tell you that all of the people on this television show aren't that bad. That's a really important lesson for them to learn, Chad. What the fuck are you talking about, dog? Yeah, it's super strange. I'm a missionary for the heartbroken exes. For these 20 men that I

fucking despise. Yeah. So then Nick B stands up and tries to he like takes off his shirt and tries to challenge chad to get in a fight which is just embarrassing that's not how you do it and daniel daniel makes this joke like this is how we settle things in america i guess which i thought was funny just like violence so he's violence with you Americans. I'm excited for Daniel to get a chance to shine in a bit. I know.

I feel like that fool is made. I mean, don't get me wrong. He's the Zodiac killer. He totally is. But I think he's got some fun. He's got some fun. Yeah. He doesn't seem evil to me.

I mean, he definitely is a Zodiac killer. He's definitely killed. But. Sure. And so, yeah. And so, Chris Harrison kind of diffuses that thing like we're not gonna let you two fight on stage because that's the thing you came at chad you're you were never going to fight chad you're like oh you're all empty threats chad so here's an empty

threat and chad said we're just both wearing dress shoes we're gonna fall over it'll be embarrassing and the audience laughed good work You just fed into the Chad monster. So Chad runs through very quickly in his interview with Chris Harrison just a litany of things that he thinks are true. First, he thinks JoJo ditched him because she recognized that she couldn't look good by keeping him, that he looked so bad she wanted to get rid of him so she could continue to look good. That the other boys poisoned her mind. He says that he thinks Jordan just wants to be famous,

and that in conversations with Robbie's ex, Robbie has apparently threatened his ex and said you can't talk to anybody about anything. Or else I'll come getcha, he said. Yeah. In a weirdly like, weirdly gleeful way. And everybody's like, okay, yeah, has apparently threatened his ex and said, you can't talk to anybody about anything. Or else I'll come get you, he said. Yeah.

In a weirdly, like, weirdly gleeful way. And everybody's like, okay, yeah, you just make it up. And everybody's just like, shut the fuck up. Yeah. I want to give a special commendation. Can I give a little gold star? Yeah. I'm going to give a big gold star to Grant. Because, like, Grant was one of the,

he apparently had been seeing Grant's ex, and Grant did not rise to this. Robbie wasn't there, right? Robbie is one of the final two. So he was not at them until all, um, Grant was there with this dude talking about how he had basically hooked up

with his ex and what a, what a great, uh, woman she is and how Grant, like the most, a very real goading right that is like goes way way way way beyond this television show they were both on grant fucking cool as a cucumber gold star yeah he just kind of he just reacts enough to let us know that he thinks this guy

is ridiculous and and and but he doesn't he doesn't for example remove his shirt and challenge him challenge even when the guy's like you know how long did you hey uh grant how long did you guys date again grant fucking cool as a cucumber didn't even go for it grant gold star two gold stars my man and then while chad's still on stage there's this weird jfk moment where they're like, hey, roll the tape of when you ripped Evan's shirt and you said that Evan pushed you and that was why you ripped his shirt. And so we watch this tape first in real time and then in slow motion to identify whether or not Evan pushed Chad. And Evan gets really weird. Evan's like, roll it again. Roll it again.

Back into the lap. One more time. It does. It's so, I don't want to fucking talk. It's so stupid. Like, he looks like he's really forcefully trying to wiggle his way past Chad. And then Chad fucking chokes him

while he's hugging a woman. Like. Yeah. But the audience is like so on chad's side like there are people wearing chad t-shirts yeah there are people wearing chad chiller and i wanted to like interview them like yeah remember when he threatened to murder a man oh i love this card what a what a wacky what a wacky remember when we threatened to um uh uh after the television show was done you you threatened to murder a person?

I fucking love this guy. I think because Chad has said some things that are funny, like he has a sense of humor. People think maybe he's like a wrestling character of just like a, oh, Chad just loves being the villain. He's entertaining us. just like a oh chad just loves being the villain he's entertaining us um they they detach somehow and think that that he's just really playing this fun character for us as the viewer and we're so grateful for the fun that we have when we watch him but like bray wyatt doesn't talk to the new day and it's like haha yeah guys when we're done shooting wwe, I'm going to come to your houses and kill all of you. Yeah, no, the veins don't come out of Bray Wyatt's neck when he feels threatened.

He threatens to convert them to his weird swamp cult. That's as bad as he gets. So Chris asks Chad, does he have any regrets? Chad says, no, 99% of it I don't regret. He says, do you not regret of it I don't regret. He says, do you not regret saying you're going to kill Jordan Rodgers? And he's like, you know, I said, I didn't say what I was going to do when I found him. Maybe I give him some candy and the audience laughed.

Like, the funny thing, we have to talk about his humor. Because we definitely, like, bought into it in the early days. And it definitely, oh, my God, it escalated so very, very, very quickly. Where, like, the first episode where it definitely oh my god it escalated so very very very quickly where like the first episode where it started to surface it was like this guy's really talking truth and in the next episode he was like choking dudes and being a piece of shit um i feel it like really abusive people like the most dangerous abusive people are likable. Oh, for sure. Because if he was just like a raging asshole with no redeemable qualities, and he was just this white hot ball of rage that wasn't capable of saying funny shit from time to time, like nobody would be talking about him.

No, he tries to wrap it up in charm. I mean, that's why part of me couldn't help but think like, was this man raised by somebody who consistently did something awful and then kind of said something relatable? And so you just kind of made excuses over and over again forever until suddenly you realize, like, oh, this guy's a monster. And that's what's so fucked up about Chad. as a monster and that's what's so fucked up about chad and what's so like harmful about chad is that the reason why he became this character that like people talked about including us and including like everybody who's talked about this season bachelor this has been the season of chad and the reason that chad is has been so like the reason everybody's talking talking about Chad is because he is this, like, aggressive, violent piece of shit that is also, like, a funny dude.

Which is not usually what the show deals in, right? Like, the show, when they create a villain... They're just, like, a full-blown 100% evil, bad, bad actor. Not like, oh, they're a villain with some good points but the thing that makes abusers so dangerous is what made people buy into the chad phenomenon so much and that's that's like scary and that's really scary that's very very bad like on a on a broad media consumption habits level like the the what that says about us is very not good. It's wicked bad. Yeah, it's like the most dangerous thing about reality television in a way. It's just that people's behavior gets turned into amusement, but it's actually legitimately gross behavior.

Everything that happens on TV legitimizes something, right? Yeah. And this is legitimizing a real type of person who is abusive. And there are people out there in the world who are like Chad that will charm the pants off you and say all kinds of funny stuff and then be fucking monsters and get away with it. Yeah. And then to watch fucking ABC and the producers of The Bachelor parade it around and celebrate it in this men tell all. And most of the season of this show is like ghoulish. Wait, now are we talking about Chad or are we talking about Donald Trump?

Hey, yo. No. Hey. Hey. Hey. We have fun here, folks. We don't have a lot of fun, though, because this really really rough uh so wells uh ever the voice of reason says hey chad you know i really do feel sorry for you in the way that we ganged up on you and turned it into a real lord of the flies situation

i hope you take this opportunity to get redemption in paradise this summer which i can't imagine he does no i don't although i did see a commercial for bachelor in paris did you see this commercial for the pairing that chad ends up with oh yeah it's lace what the fuck it's it's poor poor lace lace no yeah well we don't know maybe that's one that's one day you know i am like it's he's going to cast a very dark cloud over the bachelor in paradise experience i don't want him well he'll go home i hope he goes home you know they have to give out roses every day or every this is the kind of shit like this is on par with the caitlin slut shame season where i was like oh boy kind of getting harder and harder to justify watching this show and doing a podcast about it because it can be kind of gross sometimes this is like that and it's this is a really genuinely gross

thing and not in like a fun this show is filth let's wallow in it way. But in a, this show is, Oh, oops. Oh no. Yeah. Can't wait for bachelor in paradise though. Fuck. We're all going to have a great time this summer. I love bachelor in paradise. Show me too.

It's such, it's such a like nice break from the high stakes of the bachelor bachelorette. And to then end up in a television monstrosity where more married couples come out of, well, maybe. We shouldn't talk about that because there's been some turmoil in the BIP post-marriage family. Yeah, just because you have a staged wedding in Mexico does not mean that you will continue to be married when you enter the mainland again. So what else happened? So we get some time talking to Luke. Luke is still upset about the way things ended.

Same with Chase. Chase is also upset. They both say that Jojo helped them learn to love again, which sounds a lot like maybe I'll be the next Bachelor. And then JoJo comes out. JoJo, and this is something I didn't know,

Chris Harrison's interviewing JoJo, and she talks about how prior to this, she had never broken up with anyone before. That's not true. Explains a little bit though if it is true she's very good at it i thought um no clearly she was not i don't think she was the least decisive like well she kept doing it at a time that seemed like three weeks late um like i'm gonna keep alex one more week and then i'm gonna wait she dumped every dude

immediately like if she dumped every dude that she thought i i don't like this dude and they're gonna get way too invested we would have been down to final two like week three that's true um the the thirsty bros on this season we're just dropping those l bombs way too way too early uh one thing about luke and chase i guess um they aren't on BIP and they're not both had these combos about like I'm ready to find love again yeah which is primo bachelor positioning

yeah and I just don't know I'm not I will I will say again the same thing they did with Kayla at the women tell all and then when Jojo got eliminated so I don't know. It could be Robbie or Jordan. But that was a one episode swing.

I will go to my grave saying the final three episode of that season. Jojo like swept America away. I know. Well, you don't think it's possible that Robbie or Jordan could do the same? Oh, fuck. No. I mean, could do the same? Oh, fuck no. I mean, but seriously though, Griff, think about how much can change in an episode on this show. Okay, no, you're right. I think, I mean, we've liked Jordan for large swaths of this season, and I don't see why he can't earn that back. I have a hard time thinking about, unless he gets jilted at the at the altar um and then like has this like she broke my heart i don't know and then that is how he becomes the next bachelor but

all the teasers we've seen kind of makes it seem like maybe he will use it his own volition i don't know we can't trust those things yeah i can't i think i think jordan would be a fine bachelor if he wins man i don't fucking know i don't know which one of these dudes. I just want to real quick say, so JoJo comes on. The guys have an opportunity to close things up. So Luke says, hey, what happened? Seems like everything was really good. JoJo says, oh, something on that last date didn't feel the way I expected to.

And Luke's like, well, should I said I loved you earlier? And then Jojo says, oh, well, you know, I like words of affirmation, which apparently is this big love language phenomenon that I heard a lot about the Huffington Post podcast that I like, Here to Make Friends. They talk about this whole love language phenomenon. I've not heard any. I've literally never heard of it.

Everybody has different love languages. And that means that you need different things from relationships. So hers is like she wants people to tell her. And so words of affirmation is like a big phrase. What's yours and what's mine? I would say my love language. It's probably just soft pretzels, right? Yeah, I need a lot of soft pretzels.

I need kind of cat-like reflex when it comes to just bad smells in the house. Yeah. I need somebody who acts quickly. I did. You came home, and I apparently have gone nose blind to the stink in the house while you're out in San Antonio, and you came back, and you came back and like something stinks and I was already lighting three candles. Yeah. I think you, I think you need somebody, you know, that just does a lot of hand stuff.

Hey, come on. This is internet. I don't know. I don't think you ask very much of me actually it's probably true i'm very fiercely independent i i just i think that my love language is absolute silence and soft pretzels that's the one that like that's our bond i think that you like i think that you like adoration that's probably true uh and you know the fact that i i laugh at i would say about 60 of what you say that seems low uh so chase chase says hey why did you bring me the fantasy suite

and she's like oh you know i just didn't have clarity and maybe i found it at the wrong time uh and then james there was kind of a threat i guess this whole season of her putting off breaking up with dudes until literally the last possible moment. Yeah, until they felt motivated to say that they loved her. And then she's like, oh, whoops. Like, she was going like, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad. This guy really likes me. This is bad.

I can't break up with him now. I'm too nervous to break up with him. This is really bad. And then they say, I love you. And she says, okay, this just reached a whole nother echelon of badness. Now I have the courage to do it. Now I have to get out. James Taylor wants to speak.

And then he's like, you know how sometimes when you're on an online dating app, you're like, oh, this one's the prettiest or this one's the smartest. You gave all of that for us. You were the whole package. I just wanted to say how much I appreciated it. He was literally saying i missed this i guess he literally said like you were a weird science mashup of looks brains humor nowhere in america is there anybody that is attractive and smart and as real as you are

and i just wanted to point that out and And she's like, hey, thanks, James. Thanks, James. And then Chad brings in one last shitstorm. Tries to, though, doesn't he? Chad's like, hey, you know, so just wanted to say I had a really great time getting to know you. Really great experience. You and I just wish you the best. You know, because we both know Robbie left his ex to go on the show. And, you know, and Jordan just, you know, his own brother won't even talk to him.

So, you know, good luck to you. And the audience is like, woohoo! Yeah. And Judge is like, nah. And Chris just says, you don't want to respond to that? And she says, oh, I really want to go off. And he kind of like motions like, come on. Well, do it. Fucking do it. Yeah. And she says, oh, I really want to go off. And he kind of motions like, come on. Well, do it. Fucking do it.

Yeah. And she says, no, this is what he does. And he's just here for the attention. And he's not worth it. And I'm not going to give it to him. And that shuts him the fuck up. It shuts him down. All the guys stand up and applaud.

You hear some guys yell, that's our bachelorette. And then we had a really nice moment between her and Vinny, where Vinny asked her a question. She says, oh, your beard grew back. And everybody's like, what? She's like, oh, I should explain. There was one day where I shaved Vinny's beard. And she's like, oh, and I should probably mention, Vinny was my best friend in the house. We hung out all the time.

And I think we both realized we're just really good friends. And Vinny's like, yeah, that's true. That's nice. Why don't we ever get to see that shit? And then Vinny's mom stands that's true that's nice why don't we ever get to see that well and then and then vinny's mom and then vinny's mom which is really cute it was just like you really missed out jojo vinny's the best guy and ladies he's still single um it was a really nice moment and like it was nice good lord could this season have used yeah like in any non-chad character

development in the first six episodes. I don't know. Fuck all about Vinny. I don't know anything about Vinny. This was except he cuts everybody's hair the same way. Um, yeah. Oh, and he did come back to mental all with a new haircut that looks very

remarkably similar to Jordan Rogers. Yeah. It's, it's that. Yeah. This season could have used more stuff like that. I feel so, I feel bad because we were so,

we were so into the narrative element that Chad brought to the table. Well, you have to be, right? Like, the show makes. But at the time it was because, like, I didn't think this season could give us anything else entertaining or worth watching. And now I think, like, they didn't think this season could give us anything else entertaining or worth watching and now i think like they didn't even fucking try i can't tell you anything about most of those dudes that were up there that was one thing well said is he's like you know it's a real shame

because there's a lot of good guys in this house that you just never got to know because we were just all talking about chad well and we could have had it tonight during Men Tell All. I know. But then like 70% of it was the Chad show. Men Tell Chad. The Chad Tells Chad. It was just fucking gross, man. It was rough.

It felt like watching Jerry Springer or Maury or something. It felt like a talk show that was designed specifically to rile up the audience. It felt like a talk show that was designed specifically to rile up the audience. And I don't want to harp on this, but the way that ABC triumphed this shithead, this harmful piece of garbage, and gave him this superstar treatment and these these cinematic breakouts well you're saying it like it's past tense but hey he's gonna be on bachelor in paradise which starts next week next fucking week so yeah saddle up so yeah next week we should figure this out next week monday the finale the three hour finale on monday and then tuesday bachelor Paradise premieres. So what do you think? The first two hours is the stuff. The stuff and then

after the final rose will be the final hour. You think we find out Bachelor or you think they're going to hold on? They might hold off. It depends how the season ends. It's really 50-50 gang. They very rarely now announce it after the final rose because I think they want to see where America goes.

They might though though we don't know yeah so that'll be monday and then maybe we we got to do the finale episode then yeah i think we're talking about maybe recording one monday night and one tuesday night because we can't overflow it we can't combine the end of one season with Pip with our suker we're here to apply a healing salve to your goof wounds oh man so then yeah I think we might do

two episodes next week what the fuck ever we don't have anything else going on that's not true at all we have a lot going on we have so much shit going on but you know we love you guys. Yeah. And we love each other. I want to mention one thing.

So the Facebook group is popping off. Go get up on the Rose Buddies Facebook group. We're going to try and be better about spoilers because this past week there was some stuff that went. I mean, the people who got sent home got posted, before the show even aired on the West Coast, which is like, I am 50-50 about spoilers on the internet, like whose responsibility it is. But if it's at a point where people living in an entire section of the country literally could not have watched it yet, I think that's too soon. And I want to take some responsibility for that. You know, I have to approve all those posts. And I just kind of didn't think about the time difference. Yeah. And we didn't have a policy really either.

And so I didn't know how to reject without kind of. It's also easy to forget that like Facebook is so shitty about the way that it just like surfaces things. Even if you didn't come to the group, it showed up in your news feed. It just shows up in your news feed. And it was like there was one that was a picture that was very, very funny that was comparing the three remaining contestants to Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy. It was very, very good. But it also like instantly at a single glance gave away what happened in the episode.

And if it popped up in your Facebook news feed, I get bummed out about that. So I think we decided that we are going to wait until the following day. Yeah. Just, just if you can hold onto it till the morning, we'll still have a live discussion thread. Definitely want to get that live discussion thread. I popped into that and watched it for a while during the mental all tonight.

And it's just like a real time, like comment section, just like, so we'll have that. It's so, it's so good. So like all the conversation you have there, and then're just gonna wait one one one morning but yeah as far as unique posts um that are very specific to things that just happen we're not gonna post

those and my thought instead of developing a queue of a bunch of posts that i have to approve the next day if you try and post a spoiler the night of the show, I'm probably just going to delete it because I don't want to have like a queue of 50 posts the next morning that I have to go through an approval now that 24 hours has passed. Just hold off one day. Hold on for one more day. Here's the Griffin and Rachel harmony moment

of this episode of the podcast. Griffin, you said you wouldn't do this to me anymore. They'll know that there is anymore. Wait, when am I harmonizing here? You gotta break free from the chains. I guess we could just do the verse. I don't know why I jumped into the fucking bridge of hold on.

Yeah, this is not typically where people harmonize, I don't think. Someday somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye. I don't wanna do it anymore. You called me out so hard last time. Tell that baby that you're gonna let a hundred not make you cry. How can you not harmonize with this?

There's people like bumping this in their car right now, like harmonizing to every word. Don't you know things don't change? Things will go your way. I just figured out what one of my love languages is, Griffin. Is it me harmony shaming you? Or is it me singing songs in the style of Aaron Neville, which for some reason is like 100% of it? No, that's not your Aaron Neville.

There it is. There it is. Break free from the chain. There's that 60% of jokes thank you all for listening we have a P.O. box if you want to send us stuff it's P.O. box 66639 Austin Texas 78766 I think everybody's been sending us

very kind postcards and baby gifts and stuff like that it's very very sweet thank you very much we anything else and baby gifts and stuff like that. It's very, very sweet. Thank you very much. Anything else? Nope. Have we talked about McElroy shows? There's a whole... If you like us,

there's other McElroys like us that also do podcasts. Yeah, I just kind of assume that our audience listens to the other stuff, but maybe they don't. McElroysh shows.com has all the podcasts that the mackroy family does that includes shows that i do like my brother my brother me and the adventure zone but there's shows like uh none of the other shows make you

watch a television show so maybe if you need a break other than losing the sheen which used to the short-lived but fucking brilliant experiment and television criticism losing the sheen and satellite dish uh anyway justin and Justin and Sydney do a really great show called Sawbones. It's a medical history comedy show that's fucking fantastic. Travis and Teresa do a show called Schmanners. Which is so charming.

It's so... It's just a very charming, sweet show. There's like 20 podcasts that we do in this family, and I'm very proud of our family. It's a good empire. Yeah. McElroyShows.com Anything else, baby? Nope. That's all I got. We'll see you next week.

We'll see you a couple times next week. For a double header. Until then, I'm Griffin McElroy. I'm Rachel McElroy. When you're ready. Stay with us on this journey of joy. Spoiler alert! She ends up with Soulja Boy. Right reasons. Right reasons. We've been through all four seasons. Spoiler alert! She ends up with Soulja Boy.