Wonderful! - Ep. 31: Pisskid Paradise

Episode Date: August 3, 2016

Yes, we're doing another episode of Rose Buddies ONE CALENDAR DAY after the last one. We just have to talk about the events that transpired during the Season Premiere of Bachelor in Paradise! Which is to say: The whole thing was kind of a trainwreck! MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe, maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the best of it, and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love, one man for my whole life. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is Rose Buddies.

I can't believe we're doing this. We're back. Again. Did you miss us in the last 24 hours? Two days, one week. How were the three meals you've eaten since the last time you heard us talk about this fucking franchise? What did you have? Cereal or

yogurt for breakfast? That sounds good. Lunch, maybe did you go somewhere exotic or did you just take the Hot Pocket route? And then dinner, I hope you got your protein and your carbs and a good veggie in there. And I hope it was drizzled with a delicious sauce because that was the only meals you've eaten since you were this hot. And maybe breakfast. Maybe breakfast if they get up early.

It's just unbelievable. This is not a habit we plan on keeping. It's not a habit we could survive sustaining. Although we did just find out that Bachelor in paradise will be two nights a week yeah it's true but we will be doing one show yeah don't get ahead of yourselves folks we saw a lot of people say like a lot of podcasts coming no no no we couldn't we absolutely couldn't it's gonna be hard enough just watching the fucking thing four hours of my week are you kidding me opposite i'd say griffin and i we've been married two years we're still kind of newlyweds we don't want to spend oh how many hours would that be so four hours watching potentially take the 525 600 minutes

two more hours podcasting you would divide that by like six and that's the amount of time we've spent watching this franchise well no i'm saying that if we did two podcasts a week we'd be spending approximately six hours with the bachelor franchise i just got chills it's it's too much it's far too much this week we did three hours yesterday two hours today that's a fiver and then two hours of recording that's seven hours thank you Thank you. Thank you, ABC. Thank you, Chris Harrison. Thank you, Elon Musk. That's not your name, but fuck. This is just, it's untenable. It's unconscionable.

It's unsustainable. We just watched the debut season premiere episode of Bachelor in Paradise season three. Breakdown what Bip is, my love, because this is our first season of doing a thing about it. And now it's time for a breakdown. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Did they harmonize? You have really shown my hand here. It's very hard to harmonize.

Thank you. Yeah. Let's stop the podcast. This is all I wanted. Okay, thanks for listening to Rachel and Griffin Deconstructing Music Composition Theory. Rachel proves a point. Episode 31. Bachelor in Paradise. Okay, because Rachel is not

going to do it. It's a show where past contestants on, oh, it's too late, Bachelor in Bachelorette all get together in a beautiful place in Puerto Vallarta. Puerto Vallarta? That's right. Puerto Vallarta. Puerto Vallarta? That's right. Puerto Vallarta.

Well, Vincennes says that, but I'm not sure that's actually where they were. It's somewhere beautiful in Mexico. Yes. It's like on the... On near... You know, where all the nice beach stuff is, like near Chichen Itza and all that jazz. Playa del Carmen. We've been there a couple times. We have.

Y'all, it's cheap as hell to go on vacation in mexico i don't know if you know this but they got really really high quality resorts uh cheap flights but i mean yeah the resorts aside like the flights are cheap as hell get down there go on an adventure do some exploring anyway um this season features mostly folks from the last two seasons of the show, which is smart because I feel like this year has seen a lot of growth for this brand, a lot of new people. So you don't want to pull from like old, old, old seasons. And I feel like they did that in the last Bachelor in Paradise. Like half the people in the last Bachelor in Paradise, I did not know.

You got to describe the show, though. How does it work? Every week, either the men or the women are in control and at the end of the episode at the end of the two-hour episode the whoever's in control gives one what each person gives a rose to somebody on the other team and the people who don't get roses go home and then it switches every week two new people for the party that is not in control comes in so that there's competition there there's always an odd number there's always a yeah there's always a different number of of people uh but based on the based on the the genders um and so yeah there's no money at the end there's no stakes really except for some it's just a free vacation

we used to say that more marriages had come out of it until sort of the dissolution of um marcus and lacy marcus and lacy who got married in mexico and apparently didn't do the paperwork here in america yeah late there's a big scandal about how they did a whole wedding on bachelor in paradise and then lacy split and they never made their marriage legal in the states and now the bachelor franchise acts as if they never existed and only talks about Jade and Tanner. Jade and Tanner, a beautiful love story. They're almost as beautiful as Jade and Carly. God, I'm so glad we get to talk about Carly on this podcast.

She's so important to me. We're big Carly fans. But let's get into the mix with what happened on this episode of Bachelor in Paradise. I think there's a lot to talk about, a lot to discuss. So I know that we have a lot of Rosebuddies fans that have not been with the franchise until this past season with JoJo. So a lot of these people may look unfamiliar to you.

I recognized every single one with maybe the exception of Izzy, who was on Ben's season. Her whole point is that she's unrecognizable. She was gone. She was gone first episode, right? Yeah.

She got eliminated episode one. She seemed nice though. Yeah. Uh, so first, um, we get introduced to a handful of people through little packages that have been made to remind us who they were.

And these packages are so full of like winky jokes to the franchise's past. Like it's, and the franchise's past. Like it's, and by franchise's past, I mean things that have happened earlier this, in the last seven months of this Gregorian year. Because Ben's season started in like January, right? Yes. Yeah, January. January. Oh, also, we should mention, even though neither of us watched it the little opener they do yeah we

were coming in hot uh into watching this episode i i arrived home a few minutes late we'll have some some thoughts on it it was making dinner it's some good good love boat show but yeah they they set up a really nice tone for the show um we'll talk about that next time let's get into we see we see the twins we see emily and hayaley. Hi, Emily. Hi, Haley. They make it a point in this package to talk about their differences and how they're not exactly the same. I have a different nose, one of them says. Yeah. I have different eyes, one of them says. I don't know why people think we...

No, you're very... You are very similar. ABC's whole thing about, like, which one is she? It doesn't matter, is kind of grotesque. And we should maybe mention, regarding the twins, in case we forget to talk about it later. Yeah, let's do it. In this show, they are a package deal. Which only happened once with Ashley, I, in the last season of Bachelor in Paradise.

And her sister. They were a package deal. Yeah. Those poor women. Those poor, poor women those poor poor women so if you let's say you pick emily and you want to keep emily um then automatically hayley gets to stay too what if somebody else wants to pick hayley though like is it so unbelievable that two men would find love with each of them yeah it gives them an interesting do they waste their rose that week because they

could keep another woman safe like it gives it gives them an interesting strategy uh as a pair because then really only one of them has to be secure each week but at some point like they did with um ashley i and her sister i imagine they'll they'll stop making that rule i i liked the twins all right in Ben's season. I thought the treatment of having twins on was, again, kind of strange. Although I will say in this episode, they were some of the more lucid people. Well, remember when one of the sisters really went after one of the women on Ben's season? She went after the, not Claire, the mouth one.

Shit. Olivia. Thank you. I'm sorry. I called her the mouth one, everybody. I know that's not great. And,

yeah, so we know that they're capable of some, some kind of nasty, nasty stuff. It wasn't nasty. They were trying to, like,

you know, be champions and fight off the big bad of the season. Well, but, yeah but yeah um kind of gross when they did it who else was there uh nick hi nick we know from andy season and from caitlin season can i say something yeah this fucking dude's getting handsomer you know he knows what works for him i looked at him and i thought like i didn't think this before but before i was kind of mystified by how he was runner up twice. Yeah. He made it very far in the show two times.

I was like, he seems all right. He's very quiet and he has a lot of bad accessories. He looks great. In a summertime outfit. Mm-hmm. This is his first time in Paradise. And weirdly enough, again, one of the more lucid, maybe even like, he kind of was fulfilling the role of audience surrogate, which you know I love that like he he kind of was fulfilling the role of audience

surrogate which you know i love that he was kind of like male carly kind of like male carly carly i love you so much you're my angel uh we meet jubilee from ben season we don't meet jubilee we are reunited and it feels so good um i was really excited when she came on everyone called her jubes i didn't know if that was just a few people, but it seems like everybody does. She's so delightful. Yeah. And so she says she wants to, you know, she wants to relax and learn to be more fun and try not to get in her own way. I don't think she has a sour face.

I feel like people were trying to start drama with her and she was just very real and people weren't down for that in ben's season yeah no that's i mean that's for sure it uh evan um he gets his own little package he shows that was not intentional sure it wasn't babe uh he shows us the ripped shirt and then we get to see him shirt shopping for a similar shirt it's just like if that's the dude's whole storyline is that really the robust character i hope he works it into like all of his conversations i mean they only brought him back to deal with rod clearly right i mean well that's a little cynical he has things to offer he tells us the viewer that he has his quote mojo back i think that's actually true because he was much more entertaining in this

episode of television than he ever was in um we get to see rod rod has what i called a threat montage in which we see all his low lights all these wonderful threats and then they try and build him up again by showing his adorable dog pumpkin thatkin, that is a Maltese-Yorkie combo. It kind of goes hand-in-hand with what happened after the final rose of this is the new Rod. This is the new sincere Rod. Hey, this is my chance, guys. You should know that I am also interested in marriage and love. I'm instituting a new, we'll call it a penalty for the show.

We talked about this while we were watching the episode, and we think it's a good idea. Yeah, it is good. Where anytime we say Rod's real name accidentally, there's a domestic violence shelter here in Austin called Safe Place. Yes. And I think we donate like 20 bucks to them every time we say Rod's real name. Yes. Okay.

Because it could get bad real quick. I'm stone cold sober right now. I have not had a Bev. If I was as tipsy-turvy as I was last night, I think the bill is going to be quite big. And it may be me because in my notes, I do not refer to him as Rod. So I may accidentally read his real name out loud.

We get to see Lace. Yeah, hi, Lace. Lace is from Ben's season um we may remember her because she drank a lot and uh kept saying am i crazy i'm not crazy i don't mean to seem crazy kind of a kind of a harmful depiction i thought in that season i like looking back i don't know why i remember it this way but I remember thinking she was weirdly kind of sweet and just a very, very big weirdo. And they tried to cast her as a villain, and it was not a look that fit her at all. She was kind of a frontrunner in the beginning.

Ben seemed into it. And then she said maybe a few unfortunate things about the other women, but ultimately she sabotaged herself by being way too drunk yeah and she appeared in that the weird after show not the after the final rose but like the talk show that they did um yeah uh after each episode which is gone now um and she talked about how like she's getting it together and cutting back on the drinking and you know really finding herself and she seemed to really self-aware and seemed to be telling us the viewer hey i watched it too and i know it was a mess yeah but uh this opening montage was her like pouring out her wine and doing yoga for a second and saying fuck this and then getting the

wine back out and starting to drink it so it's like that's not i that's not ideal yeah i mean i think that she wants to have a sense of humor about herself, but she's not exactly a funny person, so it's difficult. Yes, but I mean, outside of that, I think there was a moment in that after show of genuine kind of embarrassment and regret. And not that I'm not, no tea, no shade, I'm not judging a person for drinking or whatever. And I don't even think that was the big problem.

I think the big problem is that she's just kind of an awkward person that is, like, cast into this weird, like, bad girl role that is not fitting at all. And anyway, it comes out again in Bachelor in Paradise, and it's a bit uncomfy. Daniel gets his own intro. Daniel will learn, and we learn this, would say in jojo's season but he is a master of the simile and metaphor uh and so even in his package he says um that he's back uh and that you can't keep him away like herpes um and that he has high standards

and you know that that if he were to lower his standards it would be like an eagle settling for a pigeon and that's just the beginning he said what's better than an eagle i guess a pterodactyl and that was actually maybe the only simile that really stuck. I guess that wasn't a simile as much as it was an illusion. I don't know. You're the one with the 10 English degrees. And then we meet Amanda, who is also from Ben's season. She's the mom who had the two adorable daughters. She came in fourth, right?

They made it to hometowns, and Ben met the kids, and Ben said, Eliminated her at hometowns. Yeah. She's very sweet. I'm glad she's back on the show. And Ben met the kids and Ben said, eliminated her at hometowns. Yeah. She's very sweet. I'm glad she's back on the show. And then it is time for Chris to welcome us, the viewer and the contestants to Bachelor in Paradise.

Hi, Dad. It's good to see you show up, my man. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of a trade-off in that sometimes he welcomes them and we get to see that welcome. And sometimes people just come down the steps. But it's just kind of a one-by-one situation. Sometimes they do a fucking parody of Jurassic Park for 10 minutes. The one thing I noticed is that when he was welcoming the contestants, there were very, very loud birds in the background. Yeah, a lot of wildlife this time of year down there.

And by this time of year, I mean, I don't know, May? I don't know when they were doing this. Yeah, we were trying to get a sense of the timeline. It had to be early summer, right? The easiest way to get a sense of the timeline was how much the contestants knew about Rod. Because they would start to reference Rod activities, and then i would be able to think okay well it must have been at least this far because they just talked about they all seemed delighted by rod and that made me think because we were delighted by rod the first maybe like three or four episodes and there was a point

in the season where we were decidedly not delighted by rod i think i don't know that they ever by the time bip started i don't know that they had gotten out of the house because they kept referencing the hitler mussolini convo yeah and that was when they were still in the house it was definitely this this tv show is coming in fucking hot i know that much i would not be surprised if during the men tell all which is where like the guys first start to like talk about the the the show um and like kind of winky like i would not be surprised if by the time when men tell all happened that was like a week after bachelor in paradise wrapped i think i think this thing's coming in real real hot from a production standpoint like a week after Bachelor in Paradise wrapped. I think this thing's coming in real, real hot from a production standpoint.

Like a month since they wrapped shooting. So Amanda comes out first. And then Nick. Then Jubilee. Jubilee is kind of saving herself, she says, for a contestant. But does not say who. At this point, she doesn't say who it is. Yeah. And then they're all talking. she says for a contestant but does not say at this point she doesn't say who it is yeah uh and then

they're all talking and they're already starting to talk about rod and then uh evan starts to come down the stairs and jubilee says quote it's the penis guy the penis guy jubes you made me so happy and like in a behind the scenes thing, she's like, I've always called him the penis guy when I was watching the show with my friends. And now I'm going to have to break that habit and begin to call him Evan. Jeeves, you're so wonderful. And then they all comment, oh, he looks so much better in person. Like both her and Amanda are like, oh, you know what?

Seeing him in person. It is striking how great the women are on this show and how like shitty so many of the dudes are i'm not just now figuring this out but i feel like this this first episode of this new season was when it was the most striking and they're not all bad like can i tell you that that's why i never did online dating because i was pretty sure oh no that's the internet no No, definitely. I'm just saying like, it's just horrible, man.

I think a lot of it too is how contestants manage alcohol, which you will see, especially in VIP, is that there's nothing going on. They have a bartender. So kind of unlike the Bachelor, Bachelorette franchise

where I think they're kind of mixing their own drinks. They have Jorge. Jorge, yeah. Who mixes the drinks and offers a friendly ear. Jorge is kind of the puppet master of the whole thing, huh? Because everything that happened on today's episode could easily be laid at Jorge's feet. And I'm not saying that to, like, divert blame from the people who should take the

blame for this. Yeah, but people should have been cut off. People should have been cut off by Jorge. And he knows this. No, I take that back. Jorge's a flawless angel, just like Carly. I know, he's wonderful. He's wonderful, and everybody who fucked up fucked up of their own volition, because they're shitbirds. Vinny shows up. Vinny!

DJ Vincennes. And I think Vinny's gonna be a real bright star in Bachelor in Paradise. He seems like a good guy. Is it DJ Vinsanity or DJ Vinsane? DJ Vinsane. If you Google DJ Vinsane, you will discover just a treasure trove of wonderful things about Vinny. I'm going to get some samples of DJ Vinsanes ready to go go up like to sort of punctuate like our good good jokes okay uh next carly uh comes up to chris harrison says hey stranger um and carly references quote the worst thing in the world that happened last time she was on

bachelor in paradise last year her and kirk had a kind of a surprise breakup and then Kirk ended it, totally blindsided her. Y'all, it was horrible. And then she wrote a song called Blindsided. She has always been so great. Like, I have really liked watching Carly because she's the ultimate audience surrogate. She's like, she is so incisive. Gives real good commentary.

She's so good and really sweet and really, really funny. Her brother was Zach W., so it's like insane that these two siblings, it was DJ Van Sane that these two siblings were both on the show at a certain point. Well, yeah, Zach was a contestant maybe on Emily's season. Anyway. But yeah, she was on the last season of Bachelor in Paradise, met this dude. They dated the whole season. The season and were so tight and then the last episode the dude just like pulled the rug out from under her and it was it was genuinely hard to watch because carly

is extremely likable and i will say that when nick showed up and nick had been on two seasons chris said hey maybe third time's a charm and And then Carly showed up and Chris was like, hey, maybe second time's a charm. I was like, well, Chris, you can't. It's kind of a double standard. You can't keep doing that. But yeah, Carly says, you know, I'm not going to settle down right away. And then she says, quote, we're going to test drive some cars. So she's not looking to

find an immediate match the way she did last time with kirk dj vinsane i'm on his soundcloud page now good good good he has a 28 minute and three second long song called i just came that's what i've been trying to tell you about remember i made that reference earlier when we were talking about dj Vinsane? Oh my God. Can this be our opening song? I think it's 28 minutes long. You just want to leave this running? I'm feeling the beat a little bit.

Ooh! Goodbye, DJ Vincente. Oh, so, if people want to check that out, what's the name of that song again, Griffin? That song is called I Just Came. It's got a good beat oh that's so nice thank you dj vincente for letting us use that sample i paid500 for that. Then Grant shows up.

Grant is from JoJo's Season. Handsome. That jaw. Is he the fireman? He's a fireman, yeah. Yes. He's got a lot of tattoos, and I didn't know that until he took his blouse off. His blouse. Daniel arrives next.

Grant makes the joke when daniel shows up he says quote hide your wife hide your belly button so that was good why wait why daniel was the one that uh poked uh was it evan's belly button i i if i were going i would say um don't let him cut your hair off while you're asleep, women. Stay woke. And Daniel pretty much immediately starts complaining about the women. Says, there's nothing here I would touch. You know, it's all poodles and Yorkies. You know, he loves the... It's...

Daniel hits it hard, man. Daniel goes hard in this... Well, everybody seemed to really love it when Rod was a dickfish. So, like, what if I juice it? And this happens every season of Bachelor in Paradise where somebody rolls up and is like, now I'm a bad boy.

Well, no, Daniel... I mean, this is kind of not that different. Daniel was kind of a dick during JoJo's season, but he was so clearly overshadowed. I think Daniel represents kind of a classic Bachelorette villain in that he's kind of a douche. But what he says is offensive and misguided, but he doesn't seem violent. He'll never hurt anybody. Yeah.

This is how villains used to be but he also has this like complex like the scutt farkas toady complex of just like hero worshiping the genuine piece of shit and and then like not really acting on that yeah admiration uh sarah shows up sarah is from ben season two yes she and she was also on bachelor in paradise last season yeah um i mean it's important to mention sarah has does not have two complete arms um which comes up later and i just want to mention that yeah like it can i say something the show actually i think handles it fairly i say handles it like it's something that they have to dance around but like yeah it's it's this fucking show like the only reason i'm bringing

this up is because it's the bachelor bachelorette like it's it's astonishing that this show doesn't get extremely gross about it i think she tells us in ben season that it was a birth defect yeah so she's lived with it her whole life um but yeah it comes up later so i thought i'd mention she's very, very sweet. I was actually super proud of her this episode because she really stands up for herself. And really everybody else in the house when nobody else in the house wanted to do it. Yeah. Yeah.

And everybody's talking about Rod. And this is another reason that I think that his season hadn't finished airing because Evan is telling us the viewer like everyone's talking about Rod uh guys he's psychotic yeah everyone's so excited about meeting him because they're all thinking he's going to be entertaining and funny and Evan's like no no no like this we should be freaked out about this. There was a, I don't want to talk about this kind of stuff to cover our own asses for being so pro-Rod when the season started out, but there was a definitive turning point

where his behavior went from, this guy's very entertaining and very good at being a bachelor villain to this is a dangerous dude and a dangerous type of personality and maybe maybe it was always that way but we were blinded by like the the lens of bachelor that we usually like view this stuff through but there was a there was definitely a point i it it was certainly by if not way before the point where he threatens to murder aaron rogers brother when the show is over like

that's unprecedented and ghoulish. And there was certainly stuff that happened before it, but, like, if you didn't know by that point this was not your standard issue shit beard, then... Yeah, I think we trusted the franchise. You know, it's like I said about Daniel. Well, that was our first mistake. It's like I said about Daniel.

You know, Daniel is kind of the classic Bachelorette villain in that he just is kind of an asshole and he says stupid shit. But they learn. And that's what we thought Chad was. But they figure it out. Don't worry, everybody. They learn. The twins arrive. The guys are very excited about

the twins. And Daniel and Emily kind of immediately have a spark and they go down to the ocean and they chit-chat, and they high-five, and Haley's back at the shore with the crowd saying, oh, should I help her? Should I save her? They're like, oh, no, she looks okay. And when they high-five, Haley says, oh, Emily doesn't like high-fives.

And I thought that was kind of funny. It's also very strange. It's a special twin knowledge they have. And then Izzy arrives. Nobody knows who she is. And it's because she got eliminated night one, Ben's season. Why do you think they brought, again, which is very sweet, but like, why do you think they brought her back?

Well, remember last season, there was that female contestant that led on Joe. And she was also a night one elimination. Yeah. And nobody knew who she was. I think every once in a while they find a very attractive woman that they think looks alone. Samantha was her name. Yeah, Samantha.

They think looks alone will carry her and it usually works. Yeah, sure. So it- I wasn't getting a Samantha vibe from Izzy. Yeah. Okay. So Izzy daniel kind of want to get to know each other oh god this scene made my skeleton leave my body it literally unzipped my skin like a cartoon and ran out of the house they sit down and immediately for some reason

daniel decides uh let's talk about how old we are but before izzy answers i'm gonna guess her age so daniel says can we play this out just you and me we'll play it out do you remember the number she said i'll be daniel i have them written down are you gonna be able to keep up do you want me to be izzy and you be daniel because i know the number but did you write down all the numbers that daniel says okay i'm izzy you're daniel uh ask me how old i am uh hey how old are you 27 uh 21 25 23 25 and he goes over too he's like 28. 25. I know exactly what happened to you. He was drunk as fuck already. Did 20 Jager bombs?

No, no, no. Wait, how did you pronounce that? Jager bombs. That's been sane. Are you going to queue it up? I need to have it ready. I need a fucking soundboard. Here's what happened.

So he felt pretty- Put him in a straight jacket. Daniel felt pretty safe in his guess of 27. And then when she said 25, he realized, oh, no, that could have been insulting. I'm just going to keep saying numbers like I'm playing a game. Oh, yeah. Right? So he's like 27 and she's like 25.

And then he's like, oh, shit, how am I going to get out of this one? And so then he starts just saying 25, 21, 23. I'm just saying numbers here. I wasn't over. You don't look older. It was bad, dude. Yeah, it was bad. And it becomes very clear Izzy realizes, oh, Daniel and I are not a match.

Not a match. We used are you the one terminology just then. The show used it a couple times. Yeah, they said boom boom room which was peculiar maybe that was maybe that's like just reality tv show terminology i guess so but i it struck me struck me as weird is that maybe something people say maybe i mean there's also a lot of similarities between are you the one and bachelor in paradise i feel like when you were in college you know and you were looking to find a lady to uh you know get intimate with yeah sure uh did did all your fellows say like hey you're gonna take

her to the boom boom room griffin um you're saying like that's what they called my my bedroom they mostly call my bedroom the fortress of solitude there's a place of quiet contemplation and self-growth. Nobody buys this character. We all know that you're a hound dog. Well, this character's not for sale. Okay, so Lace arrives, Jared arrives, and this is when we find out that the man Jubilee has been waiting for is Jared.

Which, like, again, and I hate to jared's a very nice dude he's a very nice dude yes but him again every year jared is like this hot ass commodity here's my argument he but i will say he's also got he's getting handsomer like nick he's getting handsomer, like Nick. He's getting handsomer. His first season with, who was that, Caitlin? Yes. Yes. He came out in a shirt that said, Love Man, and he was a superhero. And he had a very patchy beard. Very bad beard.

The patchiest beard. The patchiest and worst beard. I think Jared is Wells 1.0. I think he is a guy that seemed relatable, that seemed down to earth, that seemed kind of not typically Bachelorette handsome. Yeah. And America loved him. I think that is Jared.

And that is now Wells. Mentioning Wells. Wells is not in this episode, although we know he is coming in in a later episode. We do. Somebody in the live feed, which got up to like a thousand comments today, y'all, it makes my whole life. Griffin left it on during the whole episode. Oh, it was so good.

Somebody said Wells slash Carly, and I ship that to the moon and back. Yeah. Holy shit, yes. That'd be wonderful. I wanted to tweet at these real people like, you two date, but that would be weird, and I'm crossing on that. Well, and we don't know at what point Wells comes in. Carly may have already found a match by the time Wells arrives.

I need her to stay mobile until my boy rolls in. And then Rod arrives. They do this whole, like, dumb treatment of, like, the Jurassic Park scene where the T-Rex vibrates the glass and like things are falling over and, and then they cut to commercial break. Like just, they,

they so horny for it. And then Rod rolls up and he's, again, he's doing this like earnestness thing. And it's, and everybody's trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. In fact, Sarah is talking to Carly and saying,

you know, maybe, you know, maybe he's like, he's like one of those guys that's like kind of an asshole but like it's actually funny and and entertaining and carly says quote that makes me sad about life yeah carly is the only person who is not buying this um it he you can watch there is a constant well no it's not constant it is it stutters but it's a constant downward trend of his like this this new earnestness that he is trying to be a sweetheart

and i honest to god think somebody said rod come on this show yeah and if you're a real sweetheart and you're a really nice dude maybe you'll get to be the next bachelor yeah it reads like that so much it does and to that extent not that this excuses anything this fucking garbage man has done but the the rod is absolutely also being exploited by this show oh which which should not have had him back in the first place like it is so we're we're gonna talk about a lot of stuff vis-a-vis rod and then fingers crossed never again um in in this episode of rose buddies but like it is it's it's unfathomable unfathomable that abc would have him back on this show and then doubly unfathomable that after what happens on this episode of bachelor in paradise they let him come back and be a part of the men tell all in a hugely in a hugely featured segment of the men tell all which is to say like 70 minutes of it and then he ends up talking again

at the finale pitching his case at the finale which the only saving grace of that is chris harrison's response to him now makes so much more sense now that we've seen this episode of bachelor in paradise where chris harrison just kind of grins and says well let's see what happens on the show bud yeah let's get to that okay okay so uh rod shows up uh apologizes to evan uh him and daniel reconnect and they they seem genuinely happy to see each other his apology was very like i'm sorry if i offended you type of shit yeah i mean it wasn't like there was it was something tearful there were no there were no bro grabs what are bro grabs do you want me to show you well i don't know if that will work for our listeners it's like a it's like a hug but you do like a definitive back back slap and it's just like bro grab bro grabs okay uh no there were none of those

and we call them grabbies for short that's not really shorter though it is you don't have to make the b sound oh every time i make a b sound like my mouth is like really and then it gets tired you know what i mean uh-huh i was dating dating a woman named Barbara once, and I was just like, I can't. I can't with this. Ben's season must have been hard for you. It was really, really hard, especially when he was dating Bubula. I'm glad she got kicked off first episode. You probably don't remember Bubula.

How do you spell that? B-E-U-B-A-L-A-H. Two H's. Yeah, it's like a refreshing bubola. Yeah, he said her name once. Oh, Griffin, I wish we were having a girl. Yeah, me too. Bubola.

Bubola. That would be me yelling for her. And then I would say, like, every time I did it, I would have to, like, recover. What about when you were angry at her? Bubola. Why are you out of breath? Because it's exhausting to make bee sounds. That's how we got started on this bit.

Okay, sorry. Somehow I lost that. It's because we went on that for way too long. Daniel and Rod talk about the eligibility of the women. And Rod is optimistic. He says, hey, like, 14 guys here are sixes, and all the women are 10. And Daniel, who we know doesn't agree, says, well, I'm going to let the liquor do the driving and turn on booze control. Worked for Billy Joel, so.

Oh. Come on! That's all I get from that? It's Billy Joel. He's fine. Griffin really likes to make Billy Joel jokes. It's a good joke. This is not the firstel he's fine griffin really likes to make billy joel jokes it's a good joke this is not the first time he's done this for me yeah i mean rod kind of ruins it by by making the joke that they're going to use women as weight yeah that each of them could curl one

of the twins just two dudes like shirtless on a beach just like you're looking really good man i love your hair right now i love your hair right now. I love your hair right now. Just enjoying each other's company. There was like a good five seconds there. So Chris, now everybody has arrived that is going to arrive for this week. So Chris explains the rules, says the great thing about this show is there's no prize, there's no million dollars, works best if you just are open to finding love uh tells us that the men are in power this week uh and then the rule about the twins where if one

of the sisters gets the rose and they both get to stay and we're immediately very disappointed because like that means we have at least one week to spend with rod uh they all explore the house evan does a funny little crocodile hunter spoof with Rod's luggage and finds a meat scale in his luggage almost immediately. Which is good. Why do you need that, my Rod? Why do you need one of those? You know, actually, I heard an interview with Wells on the Huffington Post podcast,

Here to Make Friends, where Wells said that Rod was always weighing his meat because he was obsessive about his diet. Do you think he heats it up a little bit so he doesn't get listeria? I would hope so, but I doubt it. I don't hope so. I don't want anyone to get serious illness. It's not that serious, is it? I thought you just got diarrhea for a bit

and then you're good. Well, I guess, but if you're a pregnant woman, it can really, really... He's not a pregnant woman. He's a rat bag. Yeah. Well, I'm thankful for him not being a pregnant woman. Can you talk more into the mic?

I'm losing you in the waves. Okay. Jubilee gets the first date card and everybody knows that she is going to pick jared because she has made clear that that is her guy emily or hayley is very disappointed in this it is emily that's really not me being glib i promise i can't tell emily wanted to date with jared is it okay if i say like it's not me making fun of them or making a twin joke like i just i just genuinely can't tell if my no i mean they wear the same clothes and they have the same hair.

Yeah. They don't give us a lot to go on. At least Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, it's just like one of them's sporty, one of them's a businesswoman or something. I don't know. Is that true? I think one of them's artistic and one of them's skateboards. Have you ever seen a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie?

Yeah. Parent Trap? Wait, no, it wasn't called Parent Trap. I think it was called, like, Too Many Parents. I think it was called Twin Camp. Okay. I think it was called, who, me? Her?

I have not seen any of their films. They have a movie, and it's called Me or Her, huh? Huh? One of them plays Bubala, and the other one plays... Bubala. No, one of them plays bubala um and the other one plays you know one of them plays bubala and the other plays bubala it's a great film i've heard about it i've never seen it which one of us is it it's another good one see you guys can't see the poses griffin is making very good poses i hope you heard me just take. Here, let me try. Which one of us is it?

That was like me, like, slapping my legs to lean over. I think I saw a bit of Billboard Dad, though, but it may have just been the part that our friend Bristol's in. Yeah. We're friends with celebrities, y'all. Our friend Bristol was a child actor, briefly. She played Bubulus, the dark twin. Griffin.

It's not anything. Okay. All right. That's going to be your new technique to just get yourself out of any bit. That was not even a joke. It's not anything. So... Oh, my God.

We're at 42 minutes. I'm telling you, we dedicate a lot of time to this. Jared says yes to the date. I'm telling you, we dedicate a lot of time to this. Jared says yes to the date. And then everybody's starting to drink a lot. And Grant at first has something going on with Lace. But then Lace starts to sabotage it with her sense of humor, which is calling him out immediately and saying, you don't ask about me, you don't ask questions, just so you know, you aren't asking me any questions.

And so he tries to kind of play along and asks like a, I don't even remember what he asked you. No. It's just like a really kind of a general question you might find on a survey. And she's like, no, I don't ask you broad find on a survey and she's like no i don't ask you broad questions and then grant starts to realize oh no oh no this is not good oh no i'm not ready for this uh and then they take shots and then all of a sudden i guess he is ready for it well no at this point it seems like grant backs off a little bit a little bit but they definitely

they they their gravitational pulls attract each other later on in the episode. Yeah, but in the interim, this is when Rod and Lace tangle. They start to tangle, and they keep tangling for several hours. Yeah. And everybody's fascinated with it. And it's so irresponsible, and again, I can only hope it's because they hadn't seen the whole season or else they would recognize it like some of this stuff is like warning sign at first it's kind of playful uh and that she's kind of dishing it out as much as he is uh so he'd say something kind of

offensive and you'd be like oh that's gross and then she would kind of like punch him and and call him on it there were definitely a few moments where like lace would get the the upper hand on him and some of these like i guess kind of playful things but they were also like things get very bad for rod in this episode which is to say he gets scary and dangerous and now looking back like none of that shit should have been happening there's like one part where like they're kind of play fighting and he like grabs her by the waist and like shakes her in in this hot tub they're in like pretty violently and like i got it is hard for me to imagine there were people who were watching this this particularly like anxiety causing part of the show and enjoying it fucking at all because

i was legit on like pins pins and needles like very very nervous waiting for the shoe to drop here's the thing yeah we felt that way and evan felt that way and eventually the other contestants did but you gotta remember they don't know this rod they they know the rod who's kind of trouble oh i wasn't talking about like the spectators who were like sitting oh you're talking about the audience like people watching it at at home the people who are like fucking cheering him on in the in the after the final rose thing like this shit that shit was legit scary it was not it was it was it made me very very anxious to watch it and And yeah, it's got, and again, ABC, how can you have shit like that in your episode and then give this dude like the, the funny music treatment over the closing credits?

At first they kind of set it up like they're like Rod and Lace are like this archetype of the couple that fights all the time and their fights are passionate and it's just how they interact it's like this kind of handicap situation yeah except handicap that was not the ideal like i know it's it was carly has a funny line lockhorns i don't know that it was any cap especially maybe i was pulling the lock horns although handicap i feel like didn't have a good relationship they definitely had some troubles in their marriage don't even get me started about family circus you know what was a real circus the tightrope act that these these married people had

to do to just keep this thing together that was because of billy that was because of billy and he knows what he did dolly don't even get me started um jeffy is a criminal um it's pronounced spaghetti so carly carly's kind of like wait am i crazy is that what love is am i doing it wrong and they're like carly it's not i wanted to reach in and say no, Carly, it's not. And Vinny and Izzy are in the pool with Rod and Lace while they're kind of going at it, they're kind of making out. And they're, they're watching it. And Vinny is just like, calling them tropical storms and saying, you know, this is this is bound to go bad. It just kind of continues to escalate, and then we cut to Jubilee and Jared on their pinata date. It's very pretty and fun, and there's a lot of pinatas.

They talk a lot about Lord of the Rings. Except they call Aragorn Aragorn the whole time, and it's like, no, that came out shortly after. There was a movie about a big dragon called Aragorn that had a fantasy twist, but you're thinking of Aragorn or Strider. What I enjoyed, because we always have the closed caption on while we're watching in case we miss anything, and they spelled it correctly in the captioning. So some nerdy closed captioner was like, actually.

I mean, I was also that nerdy closed captioner, so I can't throw shade. captioner so i can't throw shade although holy shit i did really i really i don't want to shit on this because it was fucking amazing that these bachelor bachelorette contestants were talking about the fellowship of the ring uh in in such detail it yeah jubilee had heard that jared was kind of nerdy and was eager to break out her nerdy credentials uh and then a clown appears this clown y'all i'm not like one of these like hot topic clowns are scary isn't that funny type of people this clown was a fucking living nightmare yeah the clown intentionally kind of sneaks up and jubilee screams and then she tells us i've been to war and back and i'm screaming about this clown there's so uh so good but yeah no real sparks from what i could tell it didn't seem

like it i mean i know the jubilee's into it poor jared he just you know he keeps i don't i don't think it's gonna i don't think we have another ashley i situation on our hands although we will when ashley i literally hopefully jubilee realizes that wasn't chemistry that was just two people that should be friends yeah because i don't want jubes to get kicked off because she doesn't find a good match you know uh so then we cut back to lace and rod um there's a point when it has escalated so much that even lace starts to get kind of freaked out and everybody starts to be like oh this guy's a douchebag he calls her the b word like a lot and then maybe and then there's like one time where in he uses some other words yeah i wonder if he i saw people trying to figure out like what they

were bleeping and it's like does it matter gang i know it's true um but apparently he says one thing once and apparently like that's it that was the time where lace is just like okay nope we're done we're done and laces um Lace is pretty drunk at this point. Chad is also very, very drunk at this point. Although at this point, Lace wants to be left alone, and Chad is all horned up, because they've been like smooching. They went to a bed,

and Lace just like walked away from the bed at a certain point. Did you say his name? Fuck, did I? I don't know. I think I did. Yeah, I think so too. We'll have to go back, but I think I said it once or

twice i think you maybe said it once anyway well well we'll add it up afterwards but we're at either 20 or 40 enjoy safe place um yeah so carly says this has got to be the shortest relationship in bachelor history because it was all of two hours uh but lace is ready to to cut her ties with rod um and rod yeah it's like you said rod kind of thinks like oh are we still being playful is this still how we're being with each other he's confused because he's a dummy and everybody's still watching fascinated i think one of the twins actually are amanda comments uh on how long lace's legs are which was weird it was weirdly inappropriate it was weird but it just kind of showed like they've made themselves a spectacle and everybody is just

wrapped following this story so there's like a weird period where they just kind of sit down next to each other and are very quiet and then lace stands up and walks away and then like it just it just pops off um yeah daniel steps in and tries to reconnect with chad uh and that doesn't go well we we see some of the like physical violence that chad does in the like said his name again son of a shit it's all right it's good cause was that one or two more times i think it was one let's say it's a i think we're at three let's put'll have to go back. Well, you'll see when you edit this. This is going to get expensive. We should not have done $20.

Well, hopefully he's not on the show much longer. Okay. Rod, we see some of the physical violence that, like, Rod was doing of just, like, slapping Daniel's hand. I'm so careful with the names now. You're nervous now. Slaps Daniel's hand away and, like, tries to swing at him again. And at this point daniel says like i'll i i you know don't swing at me i'll put your ass on the ground you're my friend but i'll i've

hit my friends before daniel tells us the audience that rod becomes a quote crazy drunk poet it's just again like we're talking about an asshole and we should not enjoy this as much as we do. Both of them are definite D-bags. But that, in and of itself, is kind of amazing. Daniel, he just, he is not the most intellectual person, but he works very hard to come up with the right comparison. Yes. And I appreciate that about him. And he falls so come up with the right comparison. Yeah. And I appreciate that. And he falls so short is the amazing thing. He tells Rod, he says, you know, right now you've kind of alienated yourself.

And you have as much chance of making out with the turtle as any of the other women here. And this is what sets Rod off. Oh, yeah. And then Rod starts to come at him. And before this, there was a horrible horrible sequence where rod is laying on like a pillow obviously pretty drunk oh yeah um in a big group of people i don't know if you have notes on this because i'm not sure what the exact like exchange was or the exact sequence i do yeah but this is this is where people start to say like all right i'm fucking

done and i think like carly says something like you're you're done here rod you need to you need to cool it and and walk away and go drink some water and emily not emily sarah says like i'm i'm i will leave the show if this guy does not leave the show this guy's an asshole you need to leave everybody here is uncomfortable with you being around and this is where rod um disparages her because she has one arm. Yeah, makes a comment. Makes a couple comments and then says that she is sucking a fame dick or something like that. And says that so many times. Says it so very many times.

And it is a grotesque thing to say. Yeah, so Sarah kind of, everybody's sitting there uncomfortable. And Sarah says something about Rod. Just kind of is just like, you know, I can't believe that you're saying these things to women and about women. And it's really disrespectful. And Carly claps like applauds Sarah and I think at that point Rod

just kind of snaps it wasn't until he says the thing about the fame dick which is I mean do we want to say what he said to Sarah I don't even know what it was he said he says F that one arm, B word.

Like, come on, y'all. Yeah. Come on, ABC. Really, dogs? Everybody on the beach just realized. Everybody's just like, that's it. And then Rod goes to the beach and passes out. And we get to see a crab kind of walk on and around him that was pretty

good and and and and maybe he's snoring maybe he isn't i don't know it there is a scene that suggests he is snoring very loudly again i don't know how you watch this as a television show and go oh that rod he's such a card i he's really speaking truth and you know he's got some great points and i love watching him cause mayhem the things he said are fucking nightmarish they're over the top it's not even fake villain shit it's like Sometimes it really feels like we're doing a podcast about Donald Trump. Because sometimes I listen to the words that you're saying. And I think. Yeah, okay. That's fair.

About half of our country continues to support somebody that says nightmarish stuff. This was unlike anything I'd ever seen on the show before. And like. Well, and clearly Rod has an issue with alcohol with alcoholism i mean i know that that doesn't give him an excuse to be a nightmare uh but his very scary violent despicable behavior gets to its peak levels when he is trashed and he was again to reference that curve that that downward trend there's an upward trend that aligns with that which is his blood alcohol content for sure for sure for sure yes and a lot of people talked about on the show

um before and after all this stuff happened a lot of people were talking about in the group about how his mom died and it's like that's i get i get how that goofs you up but like speaking of somebody my mom passed away when i was in in high school about to become a freshman in college. And like it's not how it manifests for everybody. And Nick says as much too. That's a shit excuse. Nick says I have friends whose parents have passed away. It's like that's a shit excuse.

Yeah. Like it definitely is the type of thing that will change your life and like have a huge behavioral impact on you but it's not a like carte blanche excuse for well that's why he's being an asshole no there's many things that you can become after something like that happens like very sad is one of the things that you can become like yeah it doesn't throw you into a violent rage there's no doubting that rod is starting from a place of general assholishness yeah uh and then it is just escalated by alcohol so the next morning um he's kind of in the room for a while uh obviously pretty hungover and then he appears and tries to act like it's a big funny

thing seems to have very little memory of what happened the night before and then chris harrison from up the hill yells come up into the rose palapa which is good um we should also mention that some of the contestants claim that he shits his pants and we get a great i need a i need a gif of this like yesterday of nick walking through the bushes, seeing Chad literally passed out on the floor, which, hey, Bachelor in Paradise, like a nursing crew, are you guys okay? Because one of the dudes like blacked out and fell asleep on the ground

next to a big body of water. And you just kind of let him lay there. No, here's the thing. This is, I'm wondering, so Chris Harrison confronts the Rod issue head on, and he references that Rod was rude to the staff and belligerent. And it makes me think that maybe that happened off camera. After, yeah. Where the staff tried to get him up and into his room, and Rod was awful to them during that time.

Rod was awful to them or during that time rod was awful to every everybody it was yeah chris harrison basically says that that you know you have been awful to everybody on this island uh and i'm gonna have to ask you to leave he says this is supposed to be paradise and it ain't yeah and you made it you put it in a living hell you put up a parking lot that's really good thanks babe it's i have to work pretty hard for for those giggles but it's worth it uh and so at first rod thinks it's lace like turns to lace like and that says so much about rod doesn't it it says a couple things first my first thought was that the last thing he can remember happening is his confrontation with lace or or scarier still his like good times with lace the pool times i say good times like they were probably good good for him i don't i don't know at what point the the the vhs tape in his mind sort of staticked out.

But I think there's something to that. But I also think it's like, says something about him that he lays the blame of all of this stuff at Lace's feet. When like, it was probably actually the horrible shit you said to Sarah. And the fact that you took a swing at Daniel. Like, you did so many things to so many people. And apparently a lot of stuff off camera of you like verbally assaulting hotel staff which why they didn't show that on the tv show i don't understand not that i like was so horny to see it but like it it it paints this a picture that i'm sure was pretty i you know true true to life well i think they had enough on rod they

didn't need to build a whole legal case against him um and rod says well i'm not going anywhere i'm gonna keep sitting here at which point dad just kind of like stands there and looks him down i i i will say instantly i hooped and hollered and i stood up because like i was very excited and then cooler heads kind of prevailed and i thought like well it's exploitative and shitty and horrible that he was here in the first place. exactly. Like,

it's great that they asked him to leave. It shows, it shows some real decision making on their part, but the fact that he was there and they created this situation, like that doesn't exactly leave them with clean hands. No, I mean, it leaves them with dirty ass hands.

Like you don't get to like make all this shit. And then after the shit has happened and been very, very bad, swo swoop swoop in there like a hero for a problem that you actually created my my only excitement came from the fact that we've been watching this show a while now and we know what it's capable of although i will argue some of the some of the rod stuff has been some of the lowest shit it's ever done. And so with this show, not as horrible as I thought you were going to be, Bachelor in Paradise is about as good as it gets.

Like, you didn't do the bad thing for as long as I thought you were going to do the bad thing, which is about all I can ask of you, television show. So at Rod's exit uh he takes a few last digs at chris harrison um because chris harrison's trying to get him off the property and and rod is is kind of like you know you don't even care you don't even see what goes on you just drink your mimosas with your robe like 100 miles away from where we are you know don't pretend like you know what's going on uh and chris harrison's like how is this helping this isn't helping i will i will say fair point though i mean it's it's weird that nobody's commented on

chris harrison's absence in the show uh universe up to this point and then it's in his dying his death rattle it's rod and then uh and then rod says uh fuck you chris harrison which for me i mean you know you're dead after that yeah you don't say that to dad uh and so we think yay rod's leaving at this at this point after we've you know got i got psyched out of my mind that chris harrison kicked him out and i thought like well the show shouldn't have him on i was still still at a net positive for this episode and as a whole this season about Paradise. Because we love Paradise.

Paradise is good. This is something I look forward to because it is usually just such a delight. It's like all of your ships, all the shipping you do in your mind, all these characters that are interacting that have no reason to be. It's like Marvel versus DC. like it's it's it's really really great and the interactions are

almost universally entertaining and it's so tongue-in-cheek and self-referential and like it takes itself down on a lot yeah it has a sense of humor about itself and also there's like more genuine romance that happens in this show than the past two seasons of whatever preceded it combined um and so like and and i think that there was i think there was like a lot of just buck wild stuff not the rod stuff like the that was all universally very bad but the interactions that happen between the people which is another good reason that like i really hope rod is gone mainly it's that he's a harmful abusive bad person that we should not be celebrating in our culture but also because that dude is a fucking black hole for other people like you saw it in

in jojo season the bachelorette we learned more about him than the winners of the show um and there's so many other interactions that are going to happen like it's not going to get boring now that rod is gone if anything i think it's going to get more entertaining and less anxiety inducing because the people on this show some wild and crazy shit is going to happen between them so much like his exit from jojo's season where it appears that he's gone and they tease the following week uh they do the same thing with paradise and suggest that rod reappears next episode and causes a ruckus yeah you see him just like running running through the the set just like there's a suggestion that evan gets injured and that it's probably rod's fault all of this seems like it is kind of built up to be bigger than it will

actually be if it's not him in like the first three minutes before the opening title and that's it like if they if they don't kick this fucking dude off the show i'm going to stop watching it i think they definitely do i'm curious how long they let him stick around for this next episode because we don't i i think i don't think they let him stay on because otherwise we would have gotten a lot more in the in the like coming this season on bachelor in paradise with with him in it which they don't like they super don't um it's hard to feel good about dad swinging in and solving this problem that that abc has made for themselves and then in end it with a trailer for next week's episode showing rod he's back he's back and he's causing

more shenanigans you're gonna tune in for that one and then allowing rod to do like a bunch of essentially wedding crashes quotes over the closing credits oh is that what that was no but i mean basically yes okay it's this whole thing is exhausting it's completely exhausting because they keep jerking us around. They say like, oh, we are going to ask him to leave because his behavior has just gone too far. Next week on Bachelor in Paradise, Rod's back. I'm like, what? I don't, I would give them the benefit of the doubt and say that there are some folks involved in the production of this show and at ABC.

Maybe dad. I don't know. know we can hope can't we that recognize that this dude is an outlier is a good way of thinking about like he's not just like a bad bad villain oh he's good at being a villain like a tv show character villain i think there's people that recognize that rod's more more than that and the thing that he is more than that is harmful and shouldn't be celebrated and shouldn't be on a television show. And dangerous, like, not just to others, but to himself. Absolutely, yeah, for sure. I don't want to talk about Rod anymore. But, well, let me, to finish my point.

Okay. I think the problem is that there are people at ABC and involved in the production of the show who don't realize that and just think he's like the best villain they've ever had and that's why they are like juicing it to the max and unreal may be coloring our perception of that too a little i know i mean that has to be how it works like even even if unreal didn't exist we would recognize that like the creators of this show want drama and they like characters and they want you know nasty nastiness and here's a person who's doing it and if you look at it and just say like that's exactly the character i wanted then you're gonna put them in the show and celebrate in the way that abc has but it got it only takes a single

step back to realize like oh this isn't just like a character in a tv show this is like a real harmful dude i'm excited he won't be on the show anymore because i i i was yeah it would taint the whole thing i've genuinely tainted in that like the show wouldn't be as enjoyable but also like i have started to reach a point where i am morally like on the fence about doing this whole fucking thing like doing this podcast and covering this show which the the messages it is espousing is like they don't even realize what they're doing i hope they don't realize what they're doing but man it fucking sucks well yeah and the format of our show is such that we recap episodes and so we're forced to talk about this guy that we

don't like talking about so i i am hoping he is on his way out asap and we can't pretend like what we say and the fact that we're doing this podcast doesn't influence how and how many people watch the show because we have lots of people who've said i started watching this show because of you and it makes me as a human being feel bad that i might come watch this show that is is throwing a parade for this abusive jag anyway i really hope he's gone and i hope that this season is just a clean summer breeze from now on. So we find out at the end of this episode that they will be doing, as we mentioned at the beginning of Rosebuddies,

Monday and Tuesday night, Bachelor in Paradise, which means this whole season's probably going to burn out pretty fast. Yeah. Maybe like a month i think maybe all they have in the chamber i don't know so if that's the case uh then our podcast will go up on wednesday mornings thanks for changing the entire schedule of our podcast abc yeah we we try and make a professional schedule that we stick to and this really kind of threw us for a loop a little bit.

We also find out the next man coming to the house, I'm guessing to replace Rod, is Josh, who was the winner of Andy's season. Which is like, you don't see that much. That was what Ed was. Do you remember Ed from Bachelor Pad? I didn't know that. Yeah, he won Jillian's season. Interesting. And they split, and then he came back for Bachelor Pad? I didn't know that. Yeah, he won Jillian's season. And they split. And then he came back for Bachelor Pad.

So Josh won Andy's season of The Bachelor. Yes. And it didn't last super long. No, so Andy released a whole book after. She did? Yeah. I didn't know that. After her experience with Juan Pablo,

she released a book called It's Not Okay. And she talks about her relationship with Josh and how Josh was emotionally abusive towards her. Fucking great. Another A-plus gentleman in paradise. You want to pick up ABC, hold them upside down by their ankles, and just shake them? There are a lot of good guys in the franchise. There are, yeah. What about Michael Gaglago?

Michael, you know, Michael. Stagliano? Michael Stagliano. He's a good bean. One of the Staglianos is married. I think maybe the other one is two now. He's two years old? No.

He's also married. They're both married. Beans. But we got Wells. We got Jared. Evan seems like a decent guy. They're all going to be there. I know.

We'll just focus on them. Just get your shit together, ABC. Too many people are watching this show now for you to get worse. You're getting worse. You're getting worse. You're getting worse about being garbage. You're getting worse about being trash. Reign it in, buds.

Rachel, you look exhausted. I'm exhausted, too. I'm just so tired about talking about real fart balloons. Just a lot of rat bags and piss kids. Mostly rat bags, though. I could talk about piss kids at this point i would take a piss kid no give me an island full of piss kids and i'll call that paradise piss kid island um thanks for listening to rose buddies sorry thank you

thank you and sorry it's just it's just we truly hey guys we truly love Bachelor in Paradise I have confidence they'll turn it around and you'll have a really good time yeah understand it's a weird position for us to be in and that we do love this franchise very very much

and we want it to be better and I don't want us to like shy away from criticizing the things that happen in it that are just rotten. Because I think even now we're being kind of soft on it, but whatever. Well, because we're trying to make a funny show for people to enjoy. Yeah, absolutely, but, like, I don't want this...

It's hard to be funny about Rat Bags. I don't want this downward trend into Rat Bag City to, like, continue continue i think it's fine to have like okay anyway anyway thanks for listening to rose buddies um please tell a friend about the show um join the facebook thanks for lighting up the facebook group it's it's truly a treat yeah it's good times um and if you review us on it, we'd appreciate it. And we love you very, very much. We'll see you next Wednesday. I'm Rachel McElroy.

I'm Griffin McElroy. When you're ready. Stay with us on this journey of joy. Spoiler alert. She is up with Soulja Boy. Right reasons. Right reasons. Can't figure out all four seasons.