Wonderful! - Ep. 36: Three Proposals and a Funeral, Kind Of

Episode Date: September 7, 2016

It's here! Finale day is here! We're wrapping up the last two episodes of Bachelor in Paradise, which were basically like a four-hour-long waterslide of douche chills and genuine romance. FOUR COUPLES ENTER. THREE COUPLES LEAVE. Okay, well, they all leave, but one of them leaves very, very sad. MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe, maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the Bachelorette and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is Rose Buddies.

I believe in a thing called love. This is Rosebuddies. I believe in a thing called love. Just listen to her. Because I just saw six to eight hot bodied singles just put it all on the fucking line. Neil Lane. Neil Lane. Was a busy man. Somebody removed the mummy gauze from Neil Lane and pried him out of his sarcophagus,

pried him out of his biopod, and that biopod jelly stinks to high heaven, folks. So it's no easy task. What is this voice you're doing? It's the voice I use when I talk about Neil Lane. I couldn't decide in there if he was like a some sort of mummy or some sort of like um alien creature that lives in a slime tank but one thing's for sure he knows diamonds uh i prepared a reading oh good that i've been thinking about all day please hit me just to kind of summarize our time in paradise okay good are you Are you ready? You're not holding any paper or anything like that. I memorized it.

Okay, good. Now hit it. We've run, we've jumped, we've swam, we've played, we've rode and gone on trips.

But the thing that will last forever are our dear friendships. That's really good, baby. Rachel went to school that will last forever are our dear friendships. That's really good, baby. Rachel went to school for putting words together in a pleasant way. And I also watched a lot of Salute Your Shorts. Well, I didn't want to put you on blast.

I was totally willing to. Do you know how much I love you? Is that like I know you just plagiarized and I wanted like. Well, it's past tense. So really it's kind of like it's like a vincenne remix of the yeah uh our our dear friendships and then ugg is like i just came donkey lips is like i just came that's pretty good thanks it was a pretty good donkey lips is a very marketable skill we watched the finale of bachelor in paradise just now and let me tell you i'm kind of riding on a little cloud i kind of have a little cloud and it's just for me and you can get on the cloud if you want to

but i don't i mean it's a cloud i don't know if it can support the weight of two humans so i want to set some context please when we first started watching bip the concept of a proposal at the end was pretty ludicrous. Like, I feel like nobody that participated in the show expected it to happen. And when it did, it was just kind of like a, oh. Oh, okay. Okay, so like Marcus and Lacey got engaged and it was like a little surprise of the season. Are you sure? If we'd been doing the podcast back then, it would have been like, but it's the joke show.

Yeah. This one's the joke show. This isn't the marriage one. It's the joke one. And then Jade and Tanner got engaged and had their wedding on ABC. And all of a sudden, this season... It's now a fucking assembly line. Everybody has to go out on that platform and propose.

Or just fucking leave. Or leave, or get out. Which certainly did happen. Don't waste our time. If you're not ready to get engaged, get out. There were a staggering number of engagements, and I don't want to spoil it at the top. I think we should go.

Well, yeah, we still have to talk about Monday night's episode. We also have to talk about Monday night's episode. But I just want to put it out there. I'm on a cloud right now. I thought it was a great ending and a fucking really, really, some nasty problematic shit aside, a really fucking fun episode of tv and even like kind of a good out like even kind of like a weirdly at times tasteful outro for this show which is like unheard of okay okay so monday night's episode uh the serious couples are kind of talking next steps of like where this is about to end you know what's to happen with all of us.

Lace and Grant, Jen and Nick are having these convos about, do we see a future together? Surely, nobody else is going to arrive. No, was it just one? Was it just the last? I can't remember. I can't remember if it was just one woman who came in Monday. It was just one.

It was Tiara, the chicken enthusiast from Ben's season that got eliminated night one. Not to be confused with the other Tiara who was pretty awful. Not Tiara from Sean's season. Yeah. Man, this poor, I can't imagine a sadder. I love that we're talking about a franchise in which there have been two contestants with the name of Tierra. And one was a nightmare and one was a chicken and dude. Here's what I want to know.

When you're in the wings waiting to go into this show, which are we for sure it's 18 days? That is the shooting schedule. I've seen it confirmed multiple places, including Reality Steve. And that the production schedule is 18 days. That's just a super not long time to get married and proposed and engaged.

Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Who was it that started saying engaged? I hate that. Why can't it be proposed? Use it in a sentence. How would you prefer? Oh, this is my girlfriend, Rachel. Oh, I shouldn't say girlfriend anymore.

We're proposed. No, that sounds weird. You don't think so? It's like... Proposed is something you do, and then engaged is like a state of being. Engaged is something you do, though. I'm just saying, saying the reason I propose. Yeah, but you didn't engage to me.

No, I proposed to you, which is all the more reason why we should be called proposed. Engage? We've been engaged. I engage you in conversation. I engage you in physical contact. Proposed doesn't indicate an outcome, though. Proposed is something that can happen independent of whether or not it's successful. But it's like... To say we're proposed

implies that no answer has been given. I guess it's true. Like, you know, this television show has been proposed for the fall. Yeah. We don't know for sure whether it's been picked up. And ABC engaged it. We did just get confirmation.

Bip season four. It is in the comments. Yeah, what a weird. We watched all of After Paradise for this big announcement they were teasing. Not recommended. And the announcement was that they've been renewed for another season. Cool. And then they immediately polled the viewers at home to find out who they wanted to see on next season of Bip.

Okay. So, serious couples. Anyway, Tiara arrives. and there's nobody left at this point um and so she walks down the stairs nick goes to talk to her and they're trying to kind of set up like oh is nick you know is nick playing the field why is he going to talk to tiara yeah um but no he just convinces tiara to give his her date card this is this is the one him and jen this is the point i was trying to make earlier 18 days right while you're in the holding cells is that another resort hopefully somewhere and you just kick it and you're not on the tv show but you get to like kick it in a nice resort

because maybe maybe tiara has a nice little setup if it's just like not that if they make you fucking fly down to mexico to be on this show for 16 hours like still though that means that she potentially spent like two weeks in a hotel just waiting for her call if it's a nice hotel if it's like a nice resort in like playa del carmen or something like that that might by herself though fuck it yeah bring a nice book. That's how Hamilton got wrote. I guess so. I mean, not exactly though. Not exactly like that, but kind of

like that. I meant to say like a nice book on vacation. You never know what happens. So, the date that Nick and Jen go on is another kind of carnival setup. And so there are games, there are rides, there is a kick... go on is another kind of carnival setup. There are

games, there are rides, there is a kicking... not a kicking booth. One... Ten bucks, please. Get the fuck out of here! Boom! No, you would pay to kick the person in the

booth. Here's $10. Yeah, I'd kick that. No, it's a kissing booth that both Nick and Jen participated in. You pay your $10, and then the man who takes your $10 is like, oh, excuse me, I have to go on break. And his old grandma walks in and is like, are you sure? Are you sure about this? Wait, are we still talking about kicking or kissing?

Yeah, kicking. Okay. Could be kissing, too. Okay. I'm not ageist. And then they go see a fortune teller. And the fortune teller tells Jen there's like a tarot card reading. This is one of two times that they go in on mysticism this week.

So Jen, her cards say that she gives more than she receives in relationships and that her partner Nick is hesitant and has one foot out the door. Which like... Meanwhile, I'm at home and I fucking like

turn over like a hologram Blastoise card onto the coffee table. I'm like, you fucking said he's the bachelor next week so it's not gonna work out yeah cross my palm now do you want to say do you want to say what you made for your friends this week for my from for my friends yeah i made a blueberry crumb bars um it's nice i never cooked with shortening before it's very exciting um yeah it's blueberry crumb bars with a uh their choice of cinnamon or vanilla ice cream i went with cinnamon and i think it was the right call i did too um yeah they turned out pretty good okay so literally literally every card in this fortune was like

he's going to dump you he's going to dump you he's going to dump you he is going to dump you he's going to date 27 women in january he's going to dump you. They have another talk. They'll have several of these talks throughout the week or what is most likely 48 hours where they talk about how they have a lot of esteem for each other and that they are there for each other and they're hopeful and that Jen wants to keep moving forward and they make out. and that Jen wants to keep moving forward, uh, and they make out. Um, but it's just like, there's this, Nick is guarded and he's got a wall up and he's holding back.

I didn't, I barely fucking watch this because it's a double edged sword. I was so excited to hear that Nick's going to be a bachelor from that point on. He was basically him and Jen. That's dead to me. Cause I, you, I don't know how that's going to end.

It'd be, although it would be the craziest move ever if they did get engaged and they showed up in the after show and was like, yeah, we broke up. It's just not how it was going to happen. Yeah. So there is one couple in Paradise that is brand, brand new, and that is Brett and Lauren H. So this comes out of nowhere yeah so brett and izzy have been kind of connecting but then lauren h arrived last week izzy you remember left or basically told vinnie like i want to check things out with brett and vinnie left yeah so brett feels

like he has a better connection with lauren. And so he tells Izzy that. Izzy immediately has, just coincidentally, has a revelation that she regrets breaking up with Vinny. And it's just, you know, it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that she's just been dumped. She just suddenly realizes, oh, wait, you know who i shouldn't have let go i made such a huge huge mistake i mean i didn't make a huge mistake i just i just realized that i should get back together with vinny yeah so she is packing up to leave she's on the beach and evan yells from a palapa, go get Vinny. Go get your Vinny. And she yells back from the beach,

I made it to Vinny. I was like, you weren't fucking two days ago. Yeah, I know. This is a new thing, Izzy. And so we see Izzy in the car. She's calling Vinny. She's telling Vinny, I quote, chose to leave paradise.

No, wrong, lie. So I could get back to you and I'll go to Florida tonight. I made a huge mistake. I want us to get back together. And Vinny. Puts her in a fucking straight jacket. And just the perfect, perfect move says, you know, when you told me that you weren't interested in me, I immediately, you know, flipped a switch. And I am done.

And my feelings have gone out the window. And that was the end of their conversation from what I can tell. And then Izzy has them pull the car over. This is weird. Izzy has them pull the car over and says she's going to be sick. And they keep showing the empty car seat a lot. They're showing the empty car seat a lot. So much so that the camera's actually filming outside of the window.

The car's passing by. And I was worried they had this camera filming the empty car seat because they wanted a shot like a car hits their parked car on the side of the road like i was really nervous but that was what the shot seemed to entail but nope just went to commercial it was just they were trying to they're trying to heighten the drama so they're showing her standing outside the car kind of collecting herself drinking water and they keep cutting back to the inside of the car and you're thinking why are they showing me an empty car i mean i guess it worked i was very nervous But for a thing that, like, definitely did not happen. Thank God.

I mean, that would have been horrible. But, like, man, it was some weird, weird cinematography. Also, DJ Vinsane. I feel like I would have had any sympathy for Izzy because she did seem pretty upset there at the end. If she hadn't, like, fucking straight up lied to Vinny in the call. Like, I just decided time to up and leave. But also, more insultingly, she lied to me, the television audience, who just watched what happened. Like, I just, that thing that the person holds,

that has the shiny glass on the front of it, that captures moments, that captures moving images of moments for people to watch later. And I'm one of those people, and I saw what happened. And you lied to me. Yeah, she clearly seemed like a woman who had pursued something that she thought she could get. And when it didn't work out, she decided to go back to something that she made clear she didn't want. And Vinny was not fooled. It was an okay

moment. It was. And so, then we cut back to Tierra eating fried chicken on the beach. This was the craziest thing I've ever seen. Which, you know, they had a little fun with because she is the chicken enthusiast. She's the

one from Ben's season who just talked about how much she loved chickens, actually brought a chicken with her to the mansion. Had to be episode one or two. Yeah. But I guess she has no problem eating fried chicken until they had a little fun with that. She's a holistic chicken enthusiast. Here's what I'd say, babe. I'm a chicken enthusiast.

I ate chicken for dinner today. And you know what? I often do. I often find myself eating chicken. And you know what? I often do. I often find myself eating chicken, and I'm enthusiastic about it. Yeah, but if we had a pet chicken in our house, would you still eat chicken? Yes. Yeah? But it's because I think I would enjoy actually having chickens.

I think I would like that. I know people who have chicken coops, and I look at that and think, that's very cute, and I think I would really get get into that i can't imagine my life without eating chicken i really like it i'm not a big red meat fan you know this about me i do know that about you pork i could take or leave it chicken i always down for some chicken because it's like yeah it's meat but it's not gonna make me feel bad after eating it physically because it's like a fun, flirty light meat. Unless it's that dark meat chicken and then anything goes.

You can put them in the buffalo sauce. What is happening right now? There's so much stuff you can do with chicken though. Yeah, but our podcast isn't about chicken. It could be. We should have put that up as a poll option.

Do you want Rachel and Griffin to do a podcast about poultry? Yes. We could call it Chicken Buddies. Chicken Buddies. That's not really anything, though. Chicken Nugs. Chicken Nugs.

And it would be me and you as little chicken nuggets? That's horrifying. Yeah, I don't like that at all. That spooks me a little. Just like our chicken nuggets, but with our faces kind of coming out of the edge of it, like the Necronomicon. No. I don't want to talk about this.

I don't want to talk about this scary podcast. I'm scared of the podcast now. Okay. Well, I know what'll make you feel better. So if we talk about Chris Harrison a little bit. That will make you feel better. I do want to get to the bottom of a mystery real quick, though. What happened to the chicken enthusiast? Because I don't

remember her leaving the show. She leaves at the rose ceremony. Okay, good. For some reason, she decides to stick around to the rose ceremony, even though there's nobody that will pick her. Zero percent chance. Yeah. I didn't remember that. I thought maybe she was around while all the proposals were happening. Just fucking eating some bw3s like nice uh for those of you that don't know bw3s everybody knows what bw3s is that is not anything that i grew up with

really it was buffalo wild wings and nothing else where'd you get your buffalo wing oh that was adorable say that again where'd you get your buffalo wings? Oh, that was adorable. Say that again. Where'd you get your buffalo wings? I didn't eat buffalo wings until I was older. It was not something we had in my household. Anyway, sorry, Chris Harrison, what did he do? Chris Harrison. So this is when Chris Harrison starts really putting the pressure on saying, hey, if you are sticking around, you better be able to say that you are ready to be engaged and so he starts saying you know over this next rose ceremony there'll be some tears you know take it all in and he kind of shrugs

he's like i don't know what do you want me to say you know what it is he just doesn't he's just ah christopher it's christopher it was not a great yeah he seems at this point to be kind of checked out uh and and maybe i don't know if he has reservations about this approach but there is this new pressure it used to be at the end of bip you would only stick around if you wanted to continue the relationship outside of Paradise. Right. That used to be the big push at the end was like, hey, break it off if you don't think you're going to continue after we leave Paradise. This season, it was break it off if you aren't ready to get engaged. Yeah.

Which just seemed absurd. And it just put an unreasonable amount of pressure on them. Sure. So what do we deal with in this cocktail party? So as you'll recall, going into this ceremony, we don't know whether Wells is going to pursue Jami, Shoshanna, or Ashley I. And so at the cocktail party... Actually, I said something along the lines of this,

this rose ceremony is basically all designed for Wells. Like Wells is the only person making a decision right now because everybody else is locked in. So then there's this kind of hustle to get time with Wells. And Shoshana realizes that she just got there too late. She's the other one that came recently. Yeah. And so she kind of walks up to Wells and says,

you know, I just don't think it's going to happen between us. Like, I'm really interested in you, but it just doesn't seem like it's getting there. She doesn't want to fight for other women. Well, she tells us. She doesn't tell Wells this, but she says, I don't fight for guys. I don't fight for love. I don't fight for love.

And it's like, this is the whole show that you're on. Yeah. And I think she's kind of surprised at how quickly Wells is like, yeah, no, that's fair. Thanks for coming. It was great to meet you. Yeah. And so she gets kind of upset, but she leaves right away before the ceremony. It's just like, all right, this isn't going to happen for me.

right away before the ceremony. It's just like, all right, this isn't going to happen for me. So at the rose ceremony, all the regulars pick each other. So Josh Amanda, Nick Jen, Grant Lace, Evan Carley. Brett gets up there. And we think, well, Brett sent Izzy home. I guess he's going to pick Lauren H. He instead gives a speech, says that he can't give his rose out, and apologizes to Lauren,

and just says, you know, I didn't find anybody. I'm not going to fucking propose to you. We've been here for 16 days. And so he gets in a car and he leaves, which means Lauren H is going to go home. And then Wells gets up there. And at this point. Everybody in the room we were watching with was like, we all were like, oh, it's Jamie probably, right? Like, it's got to be Jamie.

It's going to be Jamie because his relationship with Jamie has been relatively uncomplicated. But Ashley has made some good plays over the past few days. And suddenly. Some good plays? Well, so she she sports center that shit for me she has worked very hard to have rational conversations with him in which she says hey you know like i just would like to get to know you better i would just like us to spend more time together okay and so he thinks that she's like a little more breezy maybe than she actually is. The other thing could be like he's not going to propose to any of those women. So like maybe this is a producer.

All this to say Wells picks Ashley. Yeah, right. And says I want at least one more date with you. Like that's all he's wanting to commit to at this point. I don't think we talked about Ashley I's Snapchat story. Oh, yeah. She went in on Snapchat.

Can you briefly summarize it? I don't want to spend a lot of time. I know because it was like a 60... Ashley, Ashley, you know I've had words about you in the past. And this is maybe my most important criticism. You can take the heart and it's really easy. you can change the length of your snaps so you don't have to do 64 second long snaps so you're like okay so kayla and i had lots of conversations where

she would tell me things about you like no you can do like so many fewer 10 second longs anyway um she basically said that a lot of people there did not like kayla and that kayla straight up told a lot of the women like it's not that big a deal to me to propose to get engaged to jared and then break it off to jared like that that ain't no thing um i i don't really like him all that much but i'll do it for the do it for the do it for the show um and her thing was if if you need evidence of that in the show um just look at that one weird scene that we brought up where kayla walked up behind lace to like check on something and lay said like I can't fucking stand that girl. Um,

and like, apparently a lot of people felt that way, but they didn't want to give Kayla that at it. But more importantly, it was more important to them that Ashley, I couldn't seem right. Like Ashley, I couldn't have, it would to show that stuff of Kayla's and to show,

to, to give her side of the story, any credence, it would mean disrupting the narrative about Ashley. I just being this like obsessed woman who is like, just trying to destroy this relationship because she is obsessed. I mean, I'm totally not saying that is gospel,

but it is. I get that. And I get why that's version the story benefits Ashley and I. And it wouldn't surprise me that they wanted to build a narrative around her being crazy because it's very easy to do. They're fucking like four different TV shows. But I will say it reminds me a lot of Jubilee in which, you know, she would say something either joking or being kind of yeah you know real uh and everybody would choose to interpret it negatively because they already were suspicious yeah i that that that makes sense too but i feel like it's only i i think actually i said plenty of all like awful

awful awful shit like calling shoshana a russian hooker and like all that stuff that this i'm not saying it exonerates her but um you know fair fair fair shake fair dinkum as the australians say wait what fair dinkum i think australians say fair dinkum where are you getting this from yahoo series no really i think fair dinkum is like an australian can i google it real quick yeah i'm just surprised that you would list yahoo serious as a citation fair dinkum used to emphasize that or query whether something is genuine or true it's a fair dinkum aussie wedding yeah so is your source really Yahoo! series? I can't tell you where I

learned, maybe from Zubu Mufu or some like, I don't know, like some Like a Dunkaroos commercial? Like a Dunkaroos commercial where like the child bites the head off the kangaroo and then the headless kangaroo is like, fair dinkum! Anyway. Anyway.

It's a fun little language thing that our friends at home can use. It's like an educational show. Yeah, for sure. Like, it's a lot like Zubu Mufu. Please don't make me Google Zubu Mufu as well. No, I just always heard it said Zubu Mufu. And you're really emphasizing the zoo. Zubu Mufu.

Yeah. It's a little different. It couldn't be less important. Okay. So, Lauren, H, Jami, and Tierra all go home. And we get a nice little cut of Ashley being so excited about the rose that she eats a rose petal. And then she says, I can't believe I'm on my way to having a boyfriend. Man, what a bummer.

Yeah, I... Aren't we all on our way to having a boyfriend? Isn't anybody in that situation on... Yeah, it's a show where you're technically... When you were flying to Mexico, you were literally on your way to having a boyfriend.

Okay, so... when you were flying to mexico you were literally on your way to having a boyfriend uh okay so things escalate by the way between this this commercial break some like crazy shit happens and like by the time they hit the ground the next morning chris harrison runs up and is like y'all ready to fuck like it's literally like chris harrison like you need to really think about this relationship next morning time to fuck yeah chris harrison chris harrison here's my theory so my theory is that they only have a select number of rooms available for people to use as fantasy suites and he's really been given the pressure of like you gotta narrow this pool down man not everybody can go to a fantasy suite and so he's like well given the pressure of like, you got to narrow this pool down, man. Not everybody can go to a fantasy suite. And so he's like, well, but I just told them yesterday that they need to be serious. And they're like, well, you need to go out there again and you need to make sure it's more serious. Because he comes to the palapa and says, you know, if you're not serious, you should go home.

You know, tonight is going to have a fantasy suite you know and and i just need you to take this seriously uh and so everybody just feels this like extra pressure of like i shouldn't go to the fantasy suite unless i'm considering getting engaged well i mean mostly it is the men break off into a group of the women break off into a group the men are it's straight up summer love and happened so fast like the men are talking to wells like ashley i is a virgin i'm going to like talk like a regular human would talk like that would probably add some extra pressure well well well that would probably add some extra pressure to you like did you see what i did there it was like it was like greece but it was also

like wells name a little bit really good i do like that the dudes were basically like Greece, but it was also like Wells' name a little bit. Oh, that's really good. I do like that. The dudes were basically like, yeah, I bet it would add some extra pressure to do that on a TV show, knowing that you are going to take this woman's virginity. You should probably be pretty careful with that. Just kidding. They were like, you got to do it for the good of all mankind, Wells. You got to do flower. Well, Wells is like, I don't think you stay a virgin for this long and then go on one date and decide to give it up.

That's it. Ashley is like, I went on one date with him and I'm ready to totally give it up. Do we want to talk about the- There's a mystery word. Yeah, the bleep. There's a mystery noun where Jen- Ashley is talking to Jen and Carly. And they're all talking about fantasy suites.

Jen says, would you sit on his bleep? Yes. And this was after a line of questions like, do you like him? Yes. Do you think you'd hook up with him? Yes. Would you sit on his bleep? And she takes a beat and she goes, yes.

And then they all start cracking up laughing. And we everyone thought she said the c word this was a fun if you watch the group of friends i'm curious to hear what you thought she said because everybody thought that they heard her say the consonant so they said the c word referring to a man's pee-pee. Yes. And... We had one friend that disagreed. One dissenting opinion. Well, we started thinking, like, well, she responded

so quickly. So, it couldn't have been, like, intercourse because she's held off of that so long. What else could

they have bleeped out that she would be more cavalier about? And one of our friends was like, oh, face. Face. It was face. Face is what they said was face, face was it.

Which none of us necessarily believed, but it was kind of fun to think it was one of the two. It was so nasty. There have been a couple of times, you know, it's a show where some grown folk stuff happens from time to time. I feel like there were a couple of things, like a person asking another person

if you would sit on their face, and it's like, what's up, ABC owned by Disney? You're going in. I love it. What's up, Buzz Lightyear? Yeah, what's up, Buzz Lightyear? I sit on your face. And we're on. No tea, no shade.

Go for it. I'm all about that sex positive stuff, but ABC, you have abc family is one of your things well last season in paradise we got the hand job with joe in the in the water and this season we get the suggestion of face sitting how how wonderful so anyway all this is to say wells wells basically says the fantasy suite is fucking completely off the table. Yeah. And Ashley is saying, I totally want to go to the fantasy suite. And Welles takes Ashley. I,

and says, you're down. And it's like, if this thing goes to fantasy suite, like I definitely don't want to do it. And that tells me like, I probably should call it off. Well,

well, says this really smart tactic. So he decides to talk to Ashley. I, and he kind of takes the lead on the conversation. And he just puts things out on the table that aren't given, but he decides to set them up that way. So he's like, you know what, we're not going to get engaged tomorrow. And Ashley's like, No, of course not. And he's like, you know, and it's not like we're gonna, you know, have sex in the fantasy suite, because I feel like that goes against both of our characters and she's like yeah no totally not uh and he's like i

just i just don't think we're there yet i don't think it makes sense for us to be there and actually seems really upset and like so can i kiss you one more time rolls her eyes a lot and says can I kiss you one more time? She rolls her eyes a lot and says, can I kiss you one more time? And then that's more or less it. Kind of like... Yeah. And Wells gets in a car and leaves. And then Ashley shortly after gets in a car and leaves. Yeah, very little fanfare. Yeah.

So now we are down to kind of the serious couples. Chris comes out again and is like, getting ready to go on your dates. I'm going to watch you fuck so I know that you did it. He's like, it's daytime, you know, and then after these dates, you know, it'll be a night together, you know, and just wanted to remind you guys.

And then they all kind of hug each other because this is the last time they're going to be all together as a big group. And then they all go on their dates. And the first date we get to see is Grant and Lace. And they're kind of out on the town. They pick up a Grace bracelet in a little market on the street. And then they walk by a tattoo shop.

Which we kind of knew this was coming because it was in the preview for this episode last week. It showed her saying, like, we got tattoos and now you're rethinking this? Yeah. But they got big fucking tattoos right on their wrist. And as a man with a wrist tattoo, let me tell you, it's hard to hide one of those things. You get lots of questiones about them. So it's not really a place where you get a thing that 50-50 could. Well, to be fair, though, they got the word grace tattooed on themselves.

Like, there's an easy out on that. I don't want the word grace tattooed on my body. I don't want the name of any grace tattooed on my body i don't want the i don't want the name of any virtue tattooed on my body hope why don't you have hope on yourself justice um i'm just saying it's better than him getting the word lace tattooed on his arm and her getting the word grant tattoo sure no i'm not arguing against that there's't get me wrong, babe. There's lots of bad tattoos I wouldn't get. Most things, I wouldn't get tattooed on my body. I would say there's 0.0001% of the things that you could get tattooed on your body,

I would actually even consider it. I guess what I'm asking is, should we get matching tattoos? What, a Grotchel? Grotchel. Or a Rakfin. There's no real good way to do our names. We've struggled with this. That's true.

In fact, it was a huge wedge between us early on. I know. And I'd like to talk about it with our listeners. Chris Harrison sat down with both of us and we're like, you know, if you can't come up with a couple name, then you should probably break up. Griffle? How would you spell that? G-R-I-F-F-E-L. That's really

heavy on your name, though. Says, yeah. Rackafin. Rackin. Rackin! That's not good. So, Grant gets the tattoo first, and then they make it seem kind of like Lace

is stalling, and at first it seems like maybe she's not even going to get the tattoo, which is what they love to do with Lace. It's like, is she going to do it? Is she not going to do it? Maybe she's not going to do it. And then she gets the tattoo. And she's funny during the tattoo thing the whole time.

Just like, ah. The guy's trying to distract her. He's like, oh, so have you had fun in paradise? Oh, we haven't even talked about the tattoo guy yet oh the tattoo guy has a very fun style of dress the tattoo guy um is named chaps and he he is a large man and he is wearing a button-down shirt with only the top buttoned like a cape and his whole naked belly is exposed this is a great look for a lot of reasons first of all i think it's an extremely functional look absolutely i bet it's super super humid there and like that dude's just gotta like rock that style just to

survive i think he pulls it off i think he probably has has some tats on the torso that he wants to be able to show off at a moment's notice. Like, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So him and his wife, I guess, run the tattoo shop. So they're kind of like a testament to love in the real world, which is nice for them. So they get these Grace tattoos, and it's very...

It's sweet. Oh, I'm such a Grace fan. So Nick and Jen go stand-up paddle boarding. And Jen tells us, the viewer, that she's in love with Nick. Oops. And Nick tells us, I do love Jen. I'm just not sure that I'm in love with Jen. And when you saw that, you're like, if you hadn't told me you were The Bachelor already, I would know at that very point.

Yeah. I mean, we've known the whole time with those two. They just never had a kind of a reckless you know lace grant feel yeah uh and then the date with carly and evan is an unusual one you know imagine that uh this they're they're kind of out in nature and this this woman arrives in very little clothing and she appears covered in paint

and she's a very busty woman which I mention only because oh did you not notice that? laughing she was she was very busty laughing only because... I didn't notice. Oh, did you not notice that? She was... She was very bussy. And she...

She says that they're gonna be painting with their bodies. And Carly's just like, are you fucking serious? And she then removes her top and leads them to the area with paint. Carly and Evan both strip down to white underwear and then cover each other in paint and roll around on paper. I said it was like, I guess, spoiler alert a little bit, but it was kind of like the end of Gone Girl. Kind of.

Yeah, at the end they shower off Carly is like literally up to her neck covered in red paint and it's like it was like she should be showering with Ben Affleck yeah it's just like red liquid streaming off of her in the shower

and so that's their date they seem to have a good time couple the fact that they were managed to they managed to stay strong despite the fact that their dates included hospital another second different hospital uh and then a sweat lodge and then a nude painting excursion yeah i mean they're just i guess they did have that one date in the Palapa where he drank and it mixed bad with his medication leading to said hospital. They're just kind of a weird couple, and the longer

the season goes on, the more you kind of appreciate that about them. No, they won me over. And then Josh and Amanda have perhaps the least interesting date. Imagine that. They just go play soccer with a bunch of kids. Josh says that that's the kind of dad I want to be

is like a coach. It's like, all right. Yeah, and Amanda... That wouldn't, just speaking personally, that wouldn't have worked for me. Griffin McElroy is a coach dad. You did some sporting as a youth. But I always resented the coach because I did not understand the rules of the sport.

Because no one ever explains them to you. Did you know that? It's one of the reasons why I don't know that I would want our kid to do sports. Because I know how stressful it is because it's just like, all right, now you're on the football team. How do you play football? Just shut up. Go stand in the line. And go. Go do you play football? Just shut up. Go stand in the line and go.

Go where? Do what? What are the rules of football? I'm fucking sick. Can I tell you, this is a similar experience I had. So I played softball in third and fourth grade. And there was one day after practice, I came home and I was so uncertain about how sports worked that I told my parents very earnestly. And I remember this moment.

I was like, oh, today, by the way, the coach said that we have to sew up the holes in our gloves. And my parents looked at me and I was just totally straight faced like, so we need to figure out, I guess, how to do that with my glove and my parents were like that's that's an expression they they were probably just saying that because you guys weren't playing as well but i was just like oh oh okay of course oh that's that's a fun joke i guess we don't need to sew anything i don't remember anything else about this date uh yeah the only thing that was uncomfortable was how obvious it was a like play to be like look josh can interact with children and amanda does say to the camera like he seems really good with kids so this is

all i need i don't need this is all the evidence i need there's like 13 kids here so i'm sure two of them are like my children so we're good we're fine we're good uh and so then then we just get a quick shot of them all going to their rooms uh carly says to us uh the viewer that she feels more for evan face oh no they didn't what did they say i forgot i didn't i was testing out my mic hello check check check check We're good. What did Carly say? Carly tells us that she feels more for Evan than she did for Kirk, which was kind of a revelation, I think. And Evan says that he loves Carly, and Carly immediately says that she loves him too. And I, Griffin McElroy, 29-year-old adult man, started well up, tears in my eyes, which is cool,

because I was in a big group, big old room. Did you really? Oh, yeah. Like 13 of our friends, I would say. And they said, I love you. Because, man, it was the most earnest delivery of those three words that has ever happened. Like Evan, like...

Evan got kind of teared up. And then Carly kind of teared up. There's so many bad deliveries of it, and so many average. Yeah yeah it wasn't like i do i do love you i am in love with you and you know i you know i just realized i love you it wasn't even like that it was just like i love you like some it was like he was tearing up and then she i mean it was just like boom she started tearing up and she said back to and it felt just so real. And man, I started to tear up a little bit. Aw, Griff. Even tonight too.

Them and Grace. Aw, Griff. Delicate old flower. You're just a romantic. That's me. Except earlier when you just casually talked about sitting on faces again. We both did that. Well, but mine was reporting.

You did it as well. Mine was just stating the facts. What happened next to the TV show? I take my job as a reporter very seriously on this show. Me too. I definitely do too. I definitely, definitely do. And I heard a rumor

from my sources that she said something about face settings. Do you want to just, since you take reporting very seriously, do you want to just take over the rest of the show? And I'll just follow you. None of us went to school for reporting, so whose word are they going to trust? Mine or yours? All right. Well, you take it from here. Next up, the next couple that they showed was Grant and Lace.

Nope. The next couple that they showed was Grant and Lace. Nope. The next couple that they showed was Nick and Jen. Yes. And they went into the room and there was just fluid everywhere before they got in the room. And it's like, guys, I don't remember anything. happen uh they have another conversation again uh about the state of their relationship and how they're not looking forward to long distance because uh she is in florida and he's in california and because he's going to break up with her and it's going to be really hard to do long distance after that uh and then we go to lace and and Grant and Lace finally says, I want you to know I love you.

Get a little bit there. Not as much as Carly and Emma for some reason. Yeah. But I get it. It gets me a little bit. Cause she hasn't said it yet and it's a big deal. And, and. I did say the words.

I've never wanted anything as much as I've wanted Lace to say, I love you to Grant. Cause it's just like, man, that dude, he's just, he, he he's been he's just said it so many times and you just you just want it you know you want it to work out between those two uh and then josh and amanda talked to i didn't take any notes and that's the end of monday night and then that brings us to tonight's episode which i think we'll probably move through pretty quickly because it was literally four men look at rings yeah Four men go up and have a final confrontation and that was it. Yeah.

I mean, it does start with everybody coming out of their hotel room Right. together. Carly and Evan are in robes. Evan prepares a little

a little rhyme for Carly which I didn't write down exactly but it's like another one of his little freestyle raps. One of his good cool raps that he does. And Carly, which I didn't write down exactly, but it's like another one of his little freestyle raps. One of his good, cool raps that he does. And Carly tells us that she would accept a proposal if Evan proposed, which I wasn't sure about

until this week. I thought like, oh, they're not going to propose because it's too soon. And let's talk some truth here. We give Amanda a hard time. Well. We give Amanda a hard time. Well, we give Amanda a hard time because Josh sucks. We also give Amanda a hard time because she's moving forward with this thing without introducing her kids to her potential fiancé.

And it wasn't until this that we consider that Carly and Evan might end up there too, that we were like, shit evan's doing the same thing evan has two kids right three three kids yeah they're older i mean still i mean that's a huge that's such a well and it's also like and i'm not saying carly and josh like yeah exactly i'm not saying carly and josh are the same people. And obviously with Josh, there's like a lot of complications vis-a-vis him being a complete shithead. And man, you should really, really, I mean, not be with him in the first place. But to do that and not even like involve your kids in the process is kind of busted. But even though I like Carly and I think she's sweet when she's not being mean to her future fiance.

It's kind of weird to like, that's like a thing that happens on the OC where it's like, I left and I got engaged to a man you've never met and you know what I mean? Yeah, like I'm an irresponsible parent. I'm an irresponsible parent. That happened. That happened.

That happened. That did happen. I'm curious. If I were a child, let's say, I'm curious, if I were a child, let's say, and one of my parents just came back from a two-week vacation. With my new dad. Yeah, I would be a little upset about it. Yeah.

But I imagine when they return, they do it very delicately. They bring lots of gifts. And then by the time it airs, hopefully, they've soothed the wounds a little bit and then so we get to morning with grant and lace grant feels kind of weird he's like laying in bed with lace and he's realizing they haven't had a lot of the conversations people have typically before they get engaged or get tattoos yeah yeah and that was lace's point lace is like well why did we get tattoos if you weren't sure? Yeah. I mean, I think Lace has every reason.

Like, at this point, Gran has been such a rock, right? Like, Gran is like, I'm going to work harder at this than she is because that's how much I love her. And then I think, man, it would be pretty scary to have him waver at the finish line. Yeah, I guess that's true. Their dynamic is kind of dependent on him being solid. But I will say, like, he's realizing, wait, we have agency here. We don't have to get engaged. His thing is not, let's break up.

His thing is, let's just go home and date and just know each other. And I've always been a proponent of, like, I find the not get engaged, but let's just go home and date so much more romantic to me because that feels so much more like a real relationship thing it's just the way they stage it like the way they stage it it's like griffin it's like when you and i went to mexico and we've this is a fun story this is a fun story podcast okay let her rip i guess it's not a bad story oh no it's a horrible story it's not a bad story right it's the worst story um all i'll say is that we went to mexico and as our first sort of trip together we've been

dating for like let me tell it the way you're gonna tell us not no that's not true okay we've been together like eight or nine months at that point yes it was the first summer after we'd been dating and we were going on a trip to mexico and it was going to be a romantic trip to a resort and so each of us had been approached separately by our friends saying i wonder if you guys will get engaged. And I had kind of thought about it a little bit, but I had also recognized that it was really early. And then Griffin, I think responsibly, wanted to kind of head it off at the pass. Because we were going to be there. It was like a week-long, all-expense-paid resort trip.

It was going to be a really, really nice trip. And I didn't want this sort of damocles hanging over rachel's head so when we got there and we were like waiting for our shuttle at the airport we were on the shuttle okay i remember we were on our way yeah i remember i remember a lot about this scene the fucking sorcerer's apprentice starring nicholas cage was on the tv which we awkwardly watched because i let off this bus trip with, I just, I've had some friends ask me if I'm going to propose to you on this trip. And you said, I've also had friends ask me if we're going to get engaged on this trip. And I said, I just want you to know that I'm not going to propose to you on this trip. To which I recognized that I had no idea how to respond because I didn't want to be like, oh, of course not.

Which you then said, I have no idea how to respond to that, and then we sat uncomfortably for about an hour. Because I couldn't be like, oh, yeah, of course not. No, that'd be insane. Because I didn't want to be like, the idea of you proposing to me is ridiculous. I kind of pulled a Wells on you a little bit. Of course it would be silly.

I know. But I did, like, I feel like my intention. But then I also didn't want to be like and why not griffin mcelroy can you look back now though and be like if you had spent that whole week like looking for me i fucking bend over to tie my shoe and you're like this is it and then it's not it and then the week's over and i didn't propose to you like i feel like it would have been kind of a bummer and i wanted us to like enjoy the trip and no no i know i just i wish i guess i wish you had phrased it differently so that i didn't feel i also wish i'd phrase it differently if you can think of a better way to phrase it if you can think of a better way to phrase it that doesn't make it sound like i'm about to propose to you that's the you know i i've

been thinking about it a lot and i definitely see myself you know what i mean like now that we're on this shuttle together shuttle watching the sorcerer's apprentice i'd love to propose to you let's get proposed together so that's a fun story i don't think i've ever shared a story that has made me that uncomfortable on a podcast before and i don't think it makes i don't think it makes you look bad i think i was trading off now i look back i realized i was trading off maybe a disappointing conclusion to the week where like we get to the end of the week and we're flying home and you realize i didn't propose um for a very um uncomfortable beginning to the week because and i will say that you did

end up proposing like i don't, four months later or something. Mostly just out of guilt. Oh, God. Griffin. It's an awful thing to say. Oh, come on. It was a goofy goof. I did have Sorcerers or Princesses playing, though, when I... I basically recreated the scene.

That movie is very special to us. It's really, really important. Justin Long, so good. The whole reason I brought up that example. the same that movie is very special to us it's really really important justin long so the whole reason i brought up that example um is we were talking about um we were talking about how couples are set up basically to feel rejected they're put in this impossible situation right where it's like well if you don't get engaged now then your relationship is garbage and it's over. And it just leaves everybody feeling super high-press in a situation that doesn't have to be.

If you want evidence of that, I think the last time that it ended up with a non-proposal, but like, let's just date, was Juan Pablo. And that was a whole different kettle of fish because he was a legitimate scumbag. But like, I feel like they laid it on even heavier. They vilified him even more, not because he was a legitimate scumbag but like i feel like they laid it on even heavier they they vilified him even more not because he was a scumbag but because how dare he how dare he not that's actually a faulty line of logic because like that whole season was such a fucking disaster

yeah no i mean in in every way haven't there been other seasons though where it's like it ends and it's like i don't want to get engaged? I remember seeing that on TV once. Yeah, that was Jake Pavelka, his first round. He didn't propose to either. And then when he came back a second time, they literally had him meet with a therapist every week on air to discuss his commitment issues as if to show like he's working on it yeah and like what he did the first season reflected a real but that one issue on his part that ended up with him and that woman and yeah and it was a nightmare really really bad

yeah but i feel like there's a season where it was like they just were like i just want to date you i don't want to get married yeah no that's happened before i can't remember the names but neither but yeah that i mean that happens it's it's a totally reasonable thing to happen i think especially in bip 18 fucking days i'm about to travel to huntington for the for the my brother my brother me tv show we're making i'll be gone for longer than 18. I can't imagine like in that span of time meeting and proposing to somebody. That's such a crazy 18 days. It's my greatest fear. That's like two Hanukkahs plus two.

So I think a big reason, though, that people feel the pressure to get engaged is one very dapper older gentleman by the name of Neil Lane. Neil Lane. Neil Lane shows up with his suitcase of diamond rings and sits down with each one of the men and displays his wares. He displays the six jars that contain his preserved vital organs. The men have to construct him. It's a team building exercise. It's a team building exercise. Brendan Fraser's there.

He's like, please don't finish building me a lane. No, no, no, no, no. And then he turns into locusts. It's a very quick scene, like with each of the gentlemen. But they do get in a subtle dig and when I say subtle I mean not at all. I would say an incredibly overt dig. Where Neil sits down

with Nick and is like hey it's you again do you know do you know anything about the special lady you're planning to propose to? Brutal, brutal, brutal. Neil Lane actually says how many more times am I going to see you in here? And Nick says, hopefully never.

And it's like, well, let me consult my tarot cards. Wrong again. And then what happens next, after the men have picked out their rings, is that each man is sent out to a platform by the ocean, which is very loud. A lot of people complaining, I can't hear the proposals. Yeah, this is not good. And then the women arrive one by one, meet Chris Harrison in the Rose Palapa. Chris says, you ready?

And they say yes, and then provide some context for how they're feeling. And then Chris sends them down to the platform. And then this is when we start getting Proposal City. Couple one, enter the dungeon. Enter the arena. Fight!

Evan's on the platform meeting Carly. Evan kind of summarizes their quirky romance and then says a bunch of really nice things about you know how he believes so strongly

in their love and can't wait for their kids to or his kids to kind of experience that the only line I remember is my heart beats my heart beats to your soul to your soul I don't know what that means but i liked it yeah it was nice uh and evan proposes and says quote will you freaking marry me then that got me dude

are you kidding me carly says yes and then they exchange final roses because they still have to can we gotta talk about burger boy still exchange final roses. Do you have a note on there in all caps, like, talk about Burger Boy? I do, but not until we get there. I mean, we can talk about Burger Boy now because he's present in all of these scenes. The pedestal that they had set up looked like a little

hamburger mouth that you might have on a Mary McCheese puppet, say, for instance. And it was sitting on, and the pedestal was like even curved. It's a round pedestal. And it was curved. With a ribbon in the middle. The shape of it even made it look kind of like a tiny torso

going up to like a comically large burger head. But like child size, like waist high burger boy. And the best part was the roses roses they had them sitting bulbs out and it made it look like two beady red eyes sitting on top of burger boy and so this whole time while they're proposing burger boy's just like waist high like genitals high the whole time like this is so sweet look at the love and then then they rip his eyes out every time. But it was the fucking fun. Like, how did nobody on making the show go like,

hey, this looks like a burger boy. It was like a puppet. Like, you just kept waiting for it to, like, open its burger mouth and, like, say, like, good luck, guys. It was so fucking distracting. That and the ocean waves. Griffin put a picture of it up in the Facebook group, if you're curious what we're talking about. I love Burger Boy. If Burger Boy, if they don't steal that pedestal and use it in every season of this show and make Burger Boy, like, a spinoff show, like Burger Boy starts grilling up some love.

Oh, man. I love you, Burger Boy. Thank you. So now it's I love you, Burger Boy. Thank you. So now it's time for Lace and Grant. And Lace is pretty nervous because her and Grant had that kind of serious talk about whether or not

it made sense for them to get engaged. And Lace gives this speech that is still kind of safe. I was expecting her to really lay it out there. And she's like, oh, Grant, you're just so handsome and witty and affectionate. And I was like, okay, well, this is all stuff that his mom could say about him. But then she kind of acknowledges that she's always running away and that he's always chasing her.

And that she loves him and that she loves Grace more. And she, like, thanks him for, like, sticking in there. So it ends sweet, but it starts kind of safe. And then Grant is kind of all over the place, and I honestly didn't know he was going to propose until he started doing it. Yeah. Because he's just like, oh, you know, it's just, I can't picture my life without you. And, you know, I think it's just going to take time for us.

And, you know, and I think, you know, I've never felt this way about anyone before. Kind of saying things that could suggest he's going to propose. There's so much unknown. Could also suggest. But you've never made me feel this way. Yeah. And then he does propose and she says yes. It was the thing.

He said something like, I love you when you're happy. I love you when you're. Screaming at me. Screaming at me. I don't want to get into the, because there was certainly enough of that during the after show of just like, so Lace is a psychopath that you generously saved. Like saying that to both of their faces, like that characterization. Yeah, and I had a big turnaround.

So I've been kind of hard on Lace because I felt like she was really immature. But I feel like what I've kind of come to terms with, I mean, I've never thought that she was a villain, but I think she's just a really awkward person. Yeah, she's an awkward weirdo. And they did this in Ben season two, trying to make her seem like a villain, which like we talked about that in the first season of the show. Like, no, she's an awkward weirdo and they did this in ben season two trying to make her seem like a villain which like we talked about that the first season of the show like no she's not a villain she's just a weird beard and she still is but like i don't and i hope we didn't contribute too much to this narrative although we probably did because we can be bad about that sometimes too of like this like taming of the shrew type thing of just like, oh, well, Lace is just fucking awful. And this guy just like broke her like a bronco.

Like, that's not, that's a really, really, really shitty way to characterize somebody. Yeah, no, and I think, and that was kind of the narrative through After Paradise is like, oh, Grant, you're such a angel for putting up with her. And I will admit that one of Grant's biggest strengths is his patience. But Lace is a good lady. You know, she seems to care about him a lot.

And they seem to be a good couple. They seem super duper in love. Like, it's great. One of the best things of the after show was they revealed that anytime there was major drama, you never saw them around because they realized that the cameras would be off them for a bit and they would sneak off somewhere and bone. And it's like, that's so great. And they were talking frisky in the after show.

It's just really nice to say. Talking frisky? Yeah. That's what we should call our podcast. Talking frisky. I do like that. Talking frisky with Griffin and Rachel. Okay, so it's time for Jen and Nick. And I don't think anybody watched this and thought he was going to propose.

I don't think anybody wants to hear us talking about it in depth. Yeah, she kind of gives the speech because they have to get up there and speak first. And then Nick really kind of loses his composure and starts crying really hard. I'm excited as Nick for Bachelor. I don't want a whole year. Yeah. A whole season of this cry because it was not good to watch.

Not that it was like, you know, I think a man, I think anybody should be able to cry whenever they want to and probably not make fun of them. But he was making painted noises. Yeah, his whole, I mean, it may have been the light at that point on the beach, but his whole face was scrunched up the entire time. And he was just like choking back tears. And he admitted that he was a better person because of his relationship with her, but that something in his heart says that he's not ready for this and doesn't want this, and that he should say goodbye. She's better than he is.

He's not good enough for her. But anyway, I'm going to not be good enough for 27 other women, I guess, next year. Yeah. Let it ride. And then it's Amanda and Josh. And they get engaged. And they get engaged, too. And he sweats a fucking ton.

Oh, my God. He's wearing a white shirt with, like, no undershirt. And by the end of it, you can see his tan lines, like, through his drenched white shirt. It is grotesque um and then it's um then it's a montage this is a funny moment it's amanda and chris standing by the water celebrating their love or not amanda and chris uh amanda and josh and then they pan over to Chris. And Chris says, well, that's paradise. Congrats to our three couples. And then they show him nailing a sign into the beach.

Closed for the season. This is closed for the season. And then we get a little montage of where are they now, of all the contestants. Yeah, we find out Carly meets Evan's kids. And apparently get along swimmingly. They show some cute Instagram pics, or what look like Instagram pics and say they are still together. That Grant and Lace are still together and want to get married ASAP.

That Josh and Amanda are still together. And they met the kids and took some beach family, professional family photos where the kids don't look super psyched um ashley is still single she's still single and they show a bit about how kayla and jared broke up and then it shows ashley again and she's very happy and it's like great that's the end of that please god please please please they don't give us an update on wells though update on wells daniel is still single they make clear that Rod will never be the Bachelor. I'm not willing to say anything nice about this show and what it has done with Rod at all this year,

but it was at least some small thing for them to say, Rod will never, ever be the Bachelor. Yeah. I guess. I guess kind of. It's something at least. And they show the twins. Did you mention the twins?

No. They show the twins and say the twins haven't found love but they still have each other. It's like, oh, that's good for the twins. And then we get a nice little moment with Jorge. Oh, God, this moment. Jorge gives his kind of thoughts on what it takes to find love and to be a good couple.

And talks about how you need to be there for each other, to lean on each other and have fun and enjoy it. And you know that when life gives you lemon, make lemonade. He was like crying when he said it. He's got kind of a teary eye. Oh my God, I can't. I want to know everything about Jorge. Please. I do like how they, after the first season, have made him like a character.

I want to know more about Jorge. I want to know more, hey. Then there was the after show, which like literally, I don't think anything really of consequence happened. There was that really uncomfortable talk about lace like she wasn't in her room there was a really bad sort of bit when uh grant or carly and evan were out there where they like really really went in on carly talking shit about evan for like a whole block of the show um and evan was like evan i think was fairly graceful about it he's like yeah you know it was it's not great to watch that stuff but i mean i actually thought it was pretty funny

and if it wasn't me i would have thought it was really funny um but yeah oh and then she shaves us his goatee kind of on air i wanted to see like a full i want to see his nude face well i couldn't tell at the end. They brought everybody back out, maybe. Oh, I didn't look. Damn it. I had to look for it. Josh comes on, and he kind of responds to the criticisms of him by saying that he's a, quote, passionate person.

All right. I'm done. The good thing about them getting engaged is, like, probably don't have to deal with that dude ever again, which is cool. And Nick wasn't there which is kind of weird kind of a strange thing yeah like you can't you can't book your own bachelor uh and then jen is on oh god and they have her talk to a a phone astrologer uh who tells her to go out and meet somebody on the 25th or the 26th. Because her fifth house is something, something.

Yeah. And that's Bip. That's Bachelor in Paradise, folks. I obviously, bad start with the Rod stuff. Real, real bummer. But I think it finished fun. Yeah. And, you know, the Josh stuff.

I had a good time. The Josh stuff wasn't great either. But, like, those two things aside, and I still feel a little bit uncomfortable, like, saying like saying like but there's so much other good stuff but there really was so much other good stuff and it's the type of stuff that just like no other shows really got like that outro montage was like man like it made me feel so close to so many of the people that were on this show it's like summer camp yeah it's like a little summer camp deal-y. High points.

Fucking Daniel. Really, really just like was the wind beneath my wings during some very dark moments. Grant and Lace. Grant and Lace. What a great love story that was. Evan and Carly. Some weird stuff happened there. I'm more convinced

now that it wasn't like a, a fakey fake hospital thing, because he's actually talked about, like, the specific infections that he had in his ankle, and, like, the bad interactions between us. Oh, you're yawning. You don't give a shit about Evan's excuses. It's late. It's after 10 o'clock. Um, yeah, it was a good romance.

Wells doing the dog voice. Anything Wells did was very good. Please, more Wells. More Wells. More Wells. Nick being the bachelor is a good choice. I'm excited about that. Should we talk a little bit about the interim?

Yes. So, I mean, we can talk about the immediate future of the interim. We've got a lot of interim because Bachelor doesn't start until uh january or huanuary i'm assuming nicuary nicuary's not um so yeah we have what three months yes so we'll probably be able to watch multiple shows but uh we put up a poll of things people wanted us to watch and what people want us to watch is Great British Bake Off. A lot of people want us to watch Great British Bake Off.

We will not be doing that. That is not our oeuvre. We're going to do The Canadian Bachelor. Yes. Is this the Bachelorette? Bachelorette. Is this the first season of it? No. No, this show has been around for years. Okay.

But it appears, based on the website, that we will be able to watch video. This is all up in the air. We'll really need to see what happens when the show airs. I don't know the specific website for the Canadian Broadcasting Network that it is on. It's like the W Network or something. If you Google Bachelorette Canada, you'll find it. Yeah, you'll find the website. But we were able to watch all of their videos that they had on there. There was no login.

Well, we didn't watch all of them, but we gave it a shot. We clicked into them and saw that we could load them without having to use a login. So you should be good if you don't have cable. It airs on Tuesdays at 9. Not sure what time zone. But like I said, I'm'm gonna be in huntington filming so i would say probably for the next three weeks my schedules are the release schedule the show might be kind of weird because it's going to involve rachel and i watching the show separately yeah like getting

together and recording and then editing all that so it'll probably be later in the week i'll be later in the week and it'll probably be, it won't go up on a uniform day or time. Yeah, and we're also assuming that Bachelorette Canada does the same thing that they do here, which is the next day they put the show online. That's another unknown. Which we also don't know. So yeah, so all that to say, we will keep you posted. Yeah, stay tuned on Twitter and Facebook, and we will let you know,

basically, probably right when episodes are about to go up because I don't know any other way to predict it. But then in October, things are going to calm down. Be home. No more traveling. Then we're going to have a baby and I don't know how we're going to do podcasts with baby. We'll probably have to cancel it. Griffin, no.

We'll figure it out. We just have to get a weekly. Wait, cancel the show or the baby? Sorry, baby. You were have to get a weekly... Wait, cancel the show or the baby? Sorry, baby. You were not renewed for a second season. I am hoping that we will have a child that will sleep for longer than 30-minute increments and we will be able to record a show.

I'm more worried about our mental state. Just like... Yeah. Like Carly said something. Anyway, that's Bachelor in Paradise. This has been Rosebuddies. Thanks for listening. Tell a friend.

Thank you to the Rosebuddies fan that sent us a Damn Daniel t-shirt. Yeah, that's a really good t-shirt. It's nice to get some clothes. It's not just for our dang baby. Anyway, thanks for listening. We appreciate it. We'll talk to you sometime next week. Until then, I'm Griffin McElroy. I'm Rachel McElroy.

When you're ready. Spoiler alert! She ends up with Soulja Boy. Right reasons. Right reasons. She's big of all of our species. Spoiler alert! She ends up with Soulja Boy!