Wonderful! - Ep. 42: Now That's What I Call Music! Vol. 3

Episode Date: October 20, 2016

Alright, so, this one goes off on some WILD tangents, but we think they're worth pursuing. When not talking about the chart-topping hits of the late 90s, we also dive into this week's episode of The Bachelorette Canada! MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the best of it, and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love, one man from a whole lot of people. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. This is Rose Buddies.

Welcome to a very professional episode of rose buddies we've we've gathered here in our high-tech recording studio this is where james taylor not that james taylor the real one recorded his famous album girl i'm feeling it tonight we've we've gathered here we paid two hundred thousand dollars for the studio space what are you doing right now i just started explaining our surroundings. It's sick as hell. They got big old golden records up on the wall. No idea what that's about.

Normally you would tell people what the show is about. Oh, right. I just wanted to explain first the weird place that we're at, that we paid a lot of money. Why would we pay $300,000 for this space if we didn't want to tell people about it? Anyway, this is a show about The Bachelorette. Canada? It's important you know what country the TV show is from.

It's The Bachelorette, and it's Canada, baby. From now on, should we say The Bachelor, United States? I think it would probably be good and non-America normative if we explain. This is Bachelorette USA edition. I feel like you're coming in kind of rusty this week. You a little worn out? I'm a little bit worn out. We started watching the show at like 5.30 or so and I'm stone cold sober, which

is not good for me. Uh, and we are also trying to get this recording in under the wire so we can go watch the debate, which I also very much don't want to be sober for. Yeah, that's a good point. So I'm a little antsy. I'm a little panicked. We'll find the groove, baby. We always find that groove.

Well, and I'm sure being in James Taylor's recording studio. It's giving me the yips a little bit. Cause know what's weird look right he's fucking right there don't look directly at him but he's right he's like in the bathroom actually he's got the bathroom door open and he's just watching oh so his recording studio is structured like ours and there is also a bathroom yeah in eyesight the our my office door is closed just enough that i can't see that beautiful uh that's what's wrong what do you mean we're in james taylor's recording studio yes shit oh baby i broke the illusion improv 101 it's been broken people thought we were really in jt's studio you gotta commit to the bit hey Griffin. Hey guys, that's me, James Taylor.

I just wanted to say you're really here. What is it? I'm a Civil War general. I've seen horrible things out on that field. Fire and rain. Can we start the show? Over. Can we start the show?

Over. Today we watched episode six. Can you fucking believe only episode six of The Bachelorette? And we're down to seven guys. After today, we're down to five boys. Yeah. That's bananas. I haven't seen any teaser for Hometownss but i'm really hoping that is part of the canadian tradition as well i hope so too i can't imagine they would eschew that that would

mean we have at one more episode of five boys hometowns of four uh the the fantasy suites i'm imagining they do that although i don't know what the decorum is for that in in the great we have like four episodes left tops i don't and i don't know if they decorum is for that in in the great white north we have like four episodes left tops i don't and i don't know if they do a mintel all or anything like that we have not been good stewards of watching like the bonus the the main show we haven't been watching the after show although i'm barely interested in watching that for the bachelor bachelorette usa edition so yeah um let's hop on into it it was a fair some of the dates this week were just like wham bam thank you ma'am just like in and out yeah there like weren't activities gone are the cirque de soleil dates where they you know do a little

performance and take in a show and no none of that now it's just like drink this drink do you are you just here to party or what sit on the ground for seven minutes for seven minutes don't fucking talk to me i love you um i want to have the kids with you i want to have the kids with you don't look at me sit perfectly still i love you man i'm gonna get up and talk to this guy don't talk to each other don't talk to each other just look just look no talk or touch let's get into it okay so the episode starts we're in morocco seven guys and a bunch of them are sitting around talking about how they haven't had one-on-one dates which i think is interesting weird out of these seven boys three

of them haven't now the show's moving at a nice clip. That's true. So maybe that explains it? It seems weird, though. Yeah. That a bunch of the guys that did have one-on-one dates are not around. Are not there anymore. Anywhere anymore. Yeah.

So Noah welcomes them to Morocco and announces that there will be a two-on-one this week. I forgot to pay attention. I don't think there was any interaction between... There wasn't. It was the same like, Noah, when he entered. Although they did seem distressed when they found out there was a two-on-one date, which would intimate that they heard him say there's a two-on-one date. Can I tell you?

So I was doing a little research on Noah. I know this. I was in the room while you were researching. Well, no, this is a separate occasion. How many Noah deep dives have you done? So Griffin and I were watching particularly troubling episodes of Walking Dead. Yeah. And usually after those episodes end, I need a little palate cleanser before I go to sleep.

Walking Dead tap by like 930 or else the dreams folks, they're too spooky. So I started watching Noah Kapp videos on YouTube. This is real. Yeah, which I would recommend. They're enjoyable. And then the other day when I was looking for an image to post in our Facebook group of Noah himself, I found an interview in which he said that he believes his role on the show is to be Jasmine's, quote, guardian angel.

Interesting. Which I thought was an interesting choice, right? Guardian ghost angel. Yeah. Her invisible, like angels in the outfield, invisible to everybody except Jasmine and helping her do like sick ass baseball plays. Yeah. That movie still gets me so angry i've never seen it

i don't think it's a fun wait is christopher lloyd that one i have seen it oh okay why would you lie to me well because i get that and rookie of the year confused because they came out around the same time and uh what was the other there was rookie of the year uh little big league oh i never saw that one that was where the kid became the gm of a baseball team so many baseball themed kid movies and sandlot was around that time too what was going on uh angels in the outfield christopher lloyd plays an angel and there are several other angels that help this the the angels baseball team cheat as if god in heaven is just like yeah go down there and cheat for him for a while.

Well, I bet they had a good reason for cheating, though, right? Yeah. Were they winning money for a children's hospital? Yeah. The angel Gabriel, the archangel Gabriel had 20 Gs. Here's what's whack about that movie, and I'm sorry, but it just gets my hackles. They make it to the world series at the end and the angels are like sorry we can't help out in the world series those are the rules

so it's happened before it's happened so many times that there's rules i'm picturing little elementary school griffin mcelroy sitting in the theater going what i mean it's bad enough they've been cheating the whole time there are rules we can't do. Does that mean that every time one of the teams that makes it to the World Series is the angel cheating team, and the other one played it straight, and of course they're going to demolish. They're going to crush them, because they haven't had the crutch of angel cheating on their side the whole time.

Oh, sorry, guys. Spoilers for Angels in the Outfield. Oh, they win the bigfield oh they win the big game oh they win the man that's the biggest spoiler of them all that movie came out in 1994 tough shit okay okay all right so um noah leaves the card and thomas goes to read the card does no performance at all. I was stoked. I was so psyched. Just gets up and reads it.

He says something like, all right, let's just get to it. Like he was quoting me last week. I was like a father unto a child. I think the dudes are probably all pretty worn out from the travel. And maybe they're just like, they're not feeling as hammy. There is a sort of casual camaraderie between these boys that i was really into um and they were just they were kind of ribbing each other uh remind me to bring up what happens on the two-on-one date somebody says something that's like wow that's brutal but it's also really funny

and everybody laughs at it so like yeah it's weird to watch this season where obviously drew's kind of an abrasive ding dong but there's nobody who's just making the experience miserable for everybody else, and so everybody's just kind of palling around. Fuck, that's refreshing. Oh, man, is that nice to watch. That's true. That's true. So it's a solo date, and Benoit is the recipient.

Who has not been on a solo date before. Yeah. And he's really happy to have this opportunity and kevin who captain canada um starts to set a tone that he continues throughout the whole episode where he's just grumpy he's just kind of a grumpy well benoit you know it could mean that she's taking you out because she's not sure about you and she just wants to make a decision and maybe you'll go home and benoitoit's like, whoa, okay. Benoit, there was a lot.

There's a long segment at the end of the episode where he tries to teach Jasmine how to say his name properly. Benoit, it's like a soft U instead of an E. Anyway, Benoit is like saying like, well, I'm glad I'm safe from that two-on-one. Because the two-on-ones come in. And they're like, you're not safe. Yeah, nobody's safe. Nobody's safe. There's seven people left. Nobody's gone home on a one-on-one because the two-on-one's coming yeah and they're like you're not safe yeah nobody's safe nobody's safe there's seven people left nobody's gone home on a one-on-one day that's crazy uh so benoit meets jasmine for a night on the town um but first they get dressed up in a montage that i imagine is drastically cut short yes they're standing in like a clothing

space and he tries on maybe two or three things and then they go and that he puts on a fez and she's like end of montage i don't think it's a montage if there's two cuts um but this whole date is her talking about how she just likes that he's up for anything she calls him a french firecracker i'll say this i'll say this about this uh television show and this this version of the television show uh and especially this episode these dates establish the um the story of the date and like the character of the person on it and holy shit do they stick to it like oh benoit he's just down for anything but he's silly i don't know if i can trust him to be more serious and then just like

repeat that yeah and that's his role this guy's sort of a loosey-goosey traveler and this guy's more dependable i don't know which one's right for me hit that shit over and over and over for 20 minutes i'm not even necessarily saying it's a bad thing but it was like well and it may be indicative to jasmine is a really good people reader you know like it seems like pretty quickly she can figure out what somebody's all about yeah so that may be part of it my favorite date of this episode was the final group date which just because like i feel like it didn't stick to that because by the end of the two on one, I was just like,

Oh my God, just, just you've made the same argument for both of these boys three times. I know. So after they have their clothes, they go to a restaurant. It looks like they have kind of the whole floor of the restaurant. And Ben was just happy to be there as he is happy to be anywhere at any time.

And as if they heard my conversation last week about eating somewhere and then having performers come to your table, which somebody in the Rosebuddies group left a very nice Facebook comment explaining like, hey, it's uncomfortable for us too. You don't have to stare at us. Yeah, we don't expect you to be a rapt audience. Which is fine. Like, I get it. But as if they heard me have that conversation last week and my own personal anxieties with the subject, two belly dancers come in to do their belly dancing.

One was more belly focused. One was a belly showing dancer belly the other had a tray of candles on her head yes so she was more about carefully moving so that the tray and candle stayed there benoit says that he loves this very sexual moroccan dancing yeah belly dancing has always seemed like the kind of thing where it's like i don't know i feel like you're not supposed to maybe comment on that because it does it's it's not oh man i'm really in the i'm in the tall grass i went with griffin to a was it a greek restaurant the mediterranean place the mediterranean place yeah and there was a belly dancer and it's fun to watch griffin navigate terrain like that,

because he wants to look but doesn't look, but wants to look appropriately. It's a great place here in Austin called Farrah's. Farrah's, yeah, in North Loop. It's in North Loop. It's good if you live here. It's good. They do hookahs and stuff.

They have a big outdoor area. It's nice. Yeah, it's fun. And the food's pretty good. And the woman who owns the restaurant does belly dancing she comes out and this dude like drums and she belly dances and like i look and i appreciate it but i also like um this is not necessarily me struggling with whether or not like you're supposed to be like wow how sexual this is like i'm trying to eat my kebab and i literally can't i like it makes me kind of uncomfortable to i think that's just that's probably just me but i don't think i don't

think you're supposed to say when the belly dancer's belly dancing be like wow very sexual i feel like that is a sort of a cultural breach that's just been law that's just been wall though and yeah i guess in his defense later on jasmine eats a piece of watermelon and he goes yeah eat that watermelon and it's like yo come on you're a maitre d you work at a restaurant are you just horny constantly like oh what did you get oh we got the the bruschetta oh the bruschetta eat that shit yeah awesome rock. Squid ink pasta, huh? Nice! So Benoit suggests that they get up and dance with the dancers. And then they both kind of play at learning to belly dance.

And then, can I balance the tray on my head? And Benoit's like, no, I definitely can't. And then Jasmine's like, let me give it a shot. She did. And this is when Griffin started... I actually said a silent prayer. He was hoping against hope. An angel would fly in, just fucking swat the tray off her head.

He really wanted that tray to fall over. I didn't want her to get burned, obviously. Jasmine is my girl for life, and you know this. But it would have been extremely funny if the tray had fallen down and then there had been a minor panic on the set as they tried to extinguish a bunch of small fires what's a safe outcome for that though like i'm sure there's a fire extinguisher there's a there's probably a um a producer who's in charge of safety who like has just off off camera like holding a fire extinguisher yeah when we made them a bim bam show there was a there was a guy who like has just off off camera like holding a fire extinguisher yeah when we made them a

bim bam show there was a there was a guy who like was in charge of safety on the set he was not always standing behind the camera with a fire extinguisher but i think they're like what's happening today oh he's got a bunch of candles on his head i'm gonna have a fire extinguisher ready today yeah uh she does not drop the tray she does not broken um yeah and this is when she kind of wants to get a little bit deeper with benoit because it is always like so fun and sexual but it's not she didn't know anything about him to this point she kind of treats him like a stuffed dog that magically came to life and she's like he's so crazy i mean he brings that energy you know like he's he's down for everything that's his like tagline just kind of like a horny

toy uh and so he talks about how he wants a family and how he's he's fit and she is fit that's the thing he can't even he was like i want to have a family and i want to have i want to do activities with them because i'm i'm uh in good shape and you're in good shape it's like you can't even talk about like first of all i want to rachel can i just say i'm really excited to have a son with you um i just really think we're gonna do a lot of activities what what does that mean well you know sports i want to do walking i want to do sport activities with you and our baby because you're so fucking fit like he can't even like say things about having a family without being like by the way still horny for this one um And anyway, this is enough.

At this time, Jasmine just wants to have a conversation with him where he's not, you know, being goofy. And this is enough. And so they kiss. And I noticed she very deliberately curates this kiss. A lot of manual manipulation grabs his face and kind of pulls him in and then kind of pulls away yes and controls the duration and intensity she also later on he kisses her without this hand guard and she kind of just gives him like 20 percent gives him like the right corner and then turns away smiling.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, you know, you got to teach people how to treat you. Do you? And that is what she's doing. Yeah. You haven't heard that expression before? You have to teach people how to treat you?

Uh-huh. How about, no, looking at me. I'm the boss. See, that's dangerous, Griffin. Why? Because then when you don't get what you want you feel as if the person has you know betrayed you exactly and if they do they're cut off who is this character you're doing right now me the boss uh so benoit gets the rose he does there's a lot of debate among the boys you keep

getting cut yeah the dudes do not think he's gonna to get it. Yeah. I want to apologize. There's a very noisy cricket outside of the window. Really, really goofing up our baseline. I don't imagine it's being picked up by the mic. These are sensitive... James Taylor has extremely powerful, expensive mics. Each mic costs $100. And like a cricket farm.

And he has a cricket farm. Yeah. Which is weird. And a big old pot sort of operation. Okay. James Taylor, he just likes to party. Yeah. No, I mean, I believe it.

So then it is time for the next date card to go out. You know that song, Would I Know Your Name If I Saw You in Heaven? That song's about like partying with drugs and just like losing your mind on that's eric clapton sweetheart i know uh james taylor wrote it for him no i made a whoopsie i said the wrong guitar man didn't i how devilish okay um two-on-one date card goes out and we start speculating we think it's going to be drew and somebody um just yeah just because typically and this is the way it's worked in past seasons they pick somebody like this past season it was rod and alex and it was basically like that's a layup that's easy yeah it's basically like i have serious doubts i feel comfortable sending this person home i'm going to give them one more chance but i'm going to make it easy on myself yeah but in this case she picks

mike and thomas well somebody picks mike and thomas um oh you don't think she picked them i mean who's to say who can who can say um she does seem to be under duress about it yeah she's she's bombed the whole time and the date is no kidding gang the pits yeah so this is everyone starts talking about how they're opposites how mike is is very you know stable yeah they call him a homebody. And then Thomas is kind of the nomad. He's, you know, traveling all the time for his international modeling. And so they recognize... I thought he was just in Canada.

Oh, no, no, no. See, that's where you'd be wrong. He's an international model. That just means the different provinces in Canada, right? No, no, that means... You're telling me this guy... Multiple nations. Weird.

Uh-huh. I didn't even know... Multiple nations. Weird. Uh-huh. I didn't even know those people existed. Yeah. He's like Tyra Banks, sort of. He's basically exactly like Tyra Banks. Oh, do you think he's the next host of ANTM? I don't know. ANTM?

Is ANTM back? Not that I've noticed. Okay. We need to do some research. I think it's back or back very soon. I don't want to tell tales out of school. I think if it were back, we would know who the host was. That's a fair point.

Okay. So anyway, so this is where the guys make kind of a fun joke. Oh, yeah. On Mike versus Thomas. It was Captain Canada who says, well, this should be interesting. It's the face versus the body. And all the guys like crack up laughing. It was the same. Everybody's the face versus the body. And all the guys crack up laughing.

Everybody takes it in good jest. It's one of those moments and it's like I like when people become friends. And it doesn't happen that much on this show anymore. Sometimes it does. On Bachelor in Paradise it happened. It's really sweet and nice.

Well, it's like those summer camp friendships. It's like really sweet and nice well it's like those summer camp friendships you know it's like carly and jade you know and like these guys just being comfortable enough with each other to just like it's a face versus the body like simultaneously saying mike has an ugly face and thomas i guess has a bad body it was uh i don't know it was i thought it was very pleasant. So their date is in the desert. And... There are flashes of Chris Soules leaving Ashley, I, and Kelsey both to die in the wastelands. Yeah, that was, oh gosh, the Badlands? I think it was called the Badlands.

Yeah, because Kelsey was a proclaimed expert on the Badlands, and Ashley was not familiar. She needed that knowledge to survive and chart a path home. And so Jasmine comes in on a camel, and then the dudes each come in on a camel. They each have, like, a guide, and they are not talking for the first part of the date where they're writing. Yeah, like, not just the guys aren't talking. Like, nobody is talking. Nobody's talking.

And Jasmine's telling us a lot that, you know, that she can see a future with both of them. That they're both so different and represent very different sides of her personality. Get this. One of them, kind of like a rock-solid homebody. The other one is all loosey-goosey traveling around. And she says this, like, maybe four different ways. To them, also. Like, you know what I like about you is that you're a homebody i i don't want to spend a lot of time on it gang

because it's it was more or less all that happened on this date she was very upset she was sitting with them uh they don't eat anything they don't take in a show this is really really tough i really like the two of you a lot and i don't want to send either of you home. It's all business. And we've seen that more with two-on-ones lately. That was the way it was with JoJo on the two-on-one. Like I found a location. All three of us are going to sit here. I'm going to take each of you away

and then I'm going to make a decision. Maybe they did that because it is genuinely like, I'll never forget. There was a two, I will forget who was on it, but there was a two-on-one for a season of The Bachelorette where two boys were eating with The Bachelorette. And nobody was talking. And one of the guys was like, oh, I love this. What is this, Quinoa?

I love Quinoa. Oh, yeah. I'll never forget that. And nobody corrected him either. Nobody corrected him. It was so uncomfortable because it was already uncomfortable because there's two on one day. And then he just bricked one like that. And so she, yeah, she starts out.

She sits down with both of them. She already says this is really, really hard. She's already seems to be kind of upset. And so she pulls Thomas away first. And they're really struggling with the wind out there. So Thomas is fashioned. It's like we're struggling with these fucking crickets, James! They're so loud, James.

They are very loud. It's October! And it sounds like summer camp outside. Thomas, the reason I brought up the wind is because Thomas is rocking a side pony. Well, it wasn't. Thomas was rocking like a man bun. Yeah, probably. The wind turned his hair into a wind sock.

And then all of a sudden, dude had a side ponytail. And it was not a great scene. It was really distracting for griffin it was they were having like a very sincere emotional conversation and every time he would turn profile it was straight up y'all like uh saved by the bell like style side ponytail who is the who is the girl on saved by a bell kelly kapowski side ponytail thank you you're welcome more of a boy meets world man and i don't think dipenga ever pulled that one no i don't think so either um so then she talks she talks to thomas she's like i really like that

you travel he's like i travel and she's like i think it might be hard to start a relationship like that i'm like well that's i disagree with. Well, so Thomas talks about how his life is very unstructured, but that he has very strong feelings for her. And she says, you know, that she feels really connected to him, but is having trouble figuring out how her life would fit with his. And he's just like, you know, I really want to take this with you to the end you know i i feel like there's really something here and i would hate to miss an opportunity because you know like you're you're really special and and it seems to be like he's really he's got his a-game going yeah no you know he's saying all the right stuff but i'm saying her argument was kind of weird and that was i it's hard to start a relationship in this loosey-goosey like traveling place that's fair and then settle down afterwards and it's like i disagree i think that's how you

i think that's why they call it settling down like you do do the the you know intransient you know well but he's i mean he's talking about leaving the country for i don't know how long modeling shoots go but that's her whole that's her thing is like she's got the word explore tattooed on her hand like that's her whole thing and that's always been like something she's been into about i don't know i don't know i'm nitpicking just yeah i guess i guess you know that initial stage of a relationship when you're really excited about somebody and you want to spend a lot of time with them to kind of miss that and immediately go to the hard part you know um so then she goes to mike and makes the alternate pitch which is the thing i like about you is the thing that scares me is that you're so dependable.

Yeah, Mike gives a really good reason, I think, for why he is the way he is. You know, he talks about how his mom was sick as a kid. And as a kid, that was a real bummer for him. And, you know, he would have to choose to spend time in the hospital. And kind of the one time that he decides to go to this pool party. She ends up passing away the next day. And it's kind of in that moment, he decides,

you know, I'm not going to be selfish anymore. You know, like it's stability is really important to me and being dependable. Did you take that story as, let me be careful here, him like cash in some sort of chip to like make a point. Cause this, this, I didn't get that. It might I'm going to be careful here, him, like, cashing in some sort of chip to, like, make a point? Because this, this.

I didn't get that sense. It might be about to get kind of weird. But, like, this is the first time that somebody's told a story on this show that I was like, oh, that happened exactly to me. And, like, I thought I was going to be pissed off. But, like, I feel like I was like, oh, no, that explains literally everything about why you are the way that you are. Yeah. No, I mean, I don't know what prompted it. That was the only thing that was weird is all of a sudden he's telling this story immediately after Thomas has delivered this A-plus performance.

And so it was weird to see Mike be like, here's my game. But it didn't feel that way at all. Yeah. He, I mean, I'm sure what she did is she asked him, like, kind of like, you know, why are you like this? Or like, you seem to be such a homebody? Or, you know, where does this come from? And we just missed that question.

Because the way he answered felt very honest. And it's weird to like, I mean, And it wasn't a cocktail party either. Yeah, that's a good point. Like, that kind of shit happens at cocktail parties all the time. Where it's like your death row, like you've got to get in that last. By the way, Jasmine, I know tonight is the last night you might spend with me, so I want to let you know that I have donated a kidney to my sister.

What? Yeah, it was, it was, i was worried about mike but i mean it just seems like she was she was very very you know sympathetic to his story because she went through something you know similar very recently yeah um i just like mike so much i know me too uh she picks up the rose and walks over to thomas and i think yeah this is a weird that's happened before on this show because i remember seeing that in a different season like they become so task oriented they're like now i have to give out the rose so i'm gonna pick it up now and then wait i have to do the part where i don't give it to this person but i have it in my hand because the goal

is to give it to somebody so here it is but not for you yeah it's cold dude yeah it's harsh because there's no part of your brain that thinks like is she gonna walk over with that rose but give it to the other guy you see her walk over that rose and you think like oh yeah but as soon as she sits down next to thomas she starts crying i want you to know that I think you're great. Okay. Bye. And they're like, oh, okay, he's not getting it. And he's a little upset about it. Understandably so.

Because they did have kind of a nice moment, you know? Yeah, sure. Their date, as much as we kind of dragged him for the original soundtrack, it seemed like they got along pretty well. Yeah, he seems like a good guy. And I think he's starting to worry because he does say, like, I didn't realize that my lifestyle

would be such a huge deterrent. You know, but I guess... Yeah. I guess that it is. I don't know. You know, it's hard for me to feel too bad for him because he's an international model that travels the world.

He probably had another girlfriend before he left Morocco. He said something crazy at the beginning of the episode. He was like, you know, Morocco, once you travel to enough foreign countries, it's just like you step in and you just know everything. You just know what's up. It's like, well, that's not how it works. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of a weird claim. He's just like, well, you know, if you travel a lot, then when you're traveling, that feels like home. I'm like, well...

I don't know if that's true. I rolled up in Morocco. I was like, what's up? I went to Hong Kong last year. Where's the noodles at? Oh, there's... Oh. Do you guys do the crispy duck here as well? No, you don't. Damn. Okay. Welp.

What's your shtick? I've seen Sex and the City 2. That wasn't you guys. Damn it.? I've seen Sex and the City 2. That wasn't you guys. Damn it. You haven't seen Sex and the City 2, have you? I abstain. When would you have seen that? I listened to a whole year of...

I mean, that's true. Worst idea of all time. I feel like... You feel like you've seen it. I feel like I've seen it. I've seen it more than people who have seen it, I feel like. I live and breathe that movie. We do need to watch that flick we do need to watch so long it's such an important part of my life though and it's weird you know what they this is actually very timely because sjp

came out today and so there's going to be a third one oh no oh no tim and guy if you're listening i'm so i'm so desperately sorry we you realize also, as a quick plug, I do a podcast that I've definitely never mentioned on this show before. That's for sure you haven't mentioned. Because we haven't released an episode since this show existed. It's called Till Death Do Us Blart. It comes out every Thanksgiving. And me and Justin and Travis and Tim and Guy from The Worst Idea of All Time, which is one of my favorite podcasts, and you should listen to it. We just watched Paul Blart Mall Cop 2,

and then we talk about it for about two hours. We talk about it for about the runtime of the series. If you're worried about catching up, we've done a episode. They did one episode. But their commitment is until they all die. Get on board. Yeah, every time one of us dies,

we have to pass the mantle on. Yeah. It'll go on forever, until the heat death of the universe. It's very exciting. I have no idea how to transition from that. I don't know where we are. Sex in the City Morocco, travel, Thomas is gone. Thomas is gone.

There's another date card. This is a group date. This is Drew, both Kevins, and Mikkel. The card says that. Drew, a couple kevins and mikhail the card says that drew a couple kevins uh and a pizza place i'd watch it it's if we lose mikhail i would bounce drew switch it mikhail two kevins and a pizza place well you might just get your wish okay so they don't get pizza Well, you might just get your wish. Okay, so. They don't get pizza. So.

The suitcase guy comes in, takes out Thomas's suitcase. And they all talk about, you know, the departure of Thomas and what that means. And this is when Drew starts talking about how even being on this show will help him in his sales career, and like how he's already attractive, and he goes into a room, and he networks, and people see him, and they're like, who's that guy? And they're like who's that guy and they want to talk to him and they want to learn more but with this show they'll see him and they'll recognize him right away and then he also says and i had griffin repeat this to me because i didn't capture it exactly that uh he's interested in quote mid to low level acting which i don't know i think that means like low level acting i guess it's like i don't want to

say commercial acting because there are people who are out there on their fucking grind and they're making bank i feel like low level acting is just kind of like bit bit scenes just like uh here's your coffee miss sarah jessica parker even that is like even that's a you've made it dude if you get a speaking line in a movie or tv show that's mid level at least you think so what's low level i mean like community theater probably high school theater that's the i think that's where you think drew wants to go back to high school i think now that's a tv show i'd watch uh drew says some shit dog drew like drew like yeah i'm really sexy so i walk in your room people are like i want to talk to him but after i've been on this show it's this show's gonna be great for my other real career uh because like folks are gonna walk in they're already gonna

know who i am it's like wow rarely are people who are here for the wrong reasons so like transparent about it yeah the guys just kind of absorb it i mean maybe they were filing it away like a just in case you know like if he seems to be a real contender they can they can break out this information yeah yeah but they all just kind of let him do his thing yeah uh and then it's time for the group date and so the group date is in a kind of a street market and then it starts pouring rain and then the uh the wackiness ensues it's like this one of my favorite things about this show is how they adapt to weather one of my favorite dates of all time was jojo season of of The Bachelorette, where they just lock themselves in the hotel. And they play charades.

Charades. And they just watch old seasons of The Bachelorette. Like, I fucking, that's my favorite day ever. There is no day that I can think of that brings me as much joy thinking about it than that one does. This time, they went with this strange route, which is just like, guys, we need footage. Do something. And so Drew was like, all right. And he just goes and stands in the rain

and he jumps in a puddle. And Jasmine's like, I just like that Drew can get out there and have fun. He jumped in a fucking puddle. Who is he, Calvin and Hobbes? What are you talking about? Drew was the last person I expected to really go out in the rain and jump in a puddle.

Just play around out there. He went and just played around. And then Captain Canada picks her up and carries her in a puddle just play around out there he went he he went and just played around and then captain canada like picks her up and carries her into a puddle and then twirls her around into the puddle like slams her feet into the puddle and then brings her back under the the tarp it was very much like like coco the gorilla just like figured out like oh that's how they that's how human beings have fun. I want her to have fun. So I'm going to slam her into this puddle over and over again. It was really, really bizarre.

Yeah, well, it was mainly bizarre because at this point they have not done anything. No. They have walked to like one stand. It started raining. They got some juice and then they're just standing around taking turns running out in the rain and running back uh she leads them all to um their date location which she says this is great because you'll be able to warm up because they're going to a tea ceremony place and it's like i heard that and i was like i guess so but it's not gonna tea doesn't dry your

clothes it's just more wet that's the motto for tea yeah but it's just more wet i guess so i would rather have a towel it's another t word that would be fun to have can we go to a towel a good moroccan towel place oh well there's a rich history and how they there probably is used towels you don't know there probably maybe is uh this guy shows them how to you know use the mint and sugar and pour water appropriately to enjoy the tea these were horse-sized proportions of sugar this seemed like my kind of tea i I like it sweet. Captain Canada is still grumpy. Yeah.

He just hates being on dates with other guys and cannot get over it. No. She takes Mikhail. Mikhail? You say Mikhail a lot. It's Mikkel. Shit. That was the first time I ever thought about it.

Mikhail. Takes him and just like, guys, the sparks oh mikhail she i totally get where she's coming from because every time she gets ready to see him she has some kind of concern like this time she was she was worried because he was always kind of nervous when they were together and he immediately explains why that's a great thing in a very succinct way that's very convincing uh yeah they're just they're just so great they're just hitting off he's like you know i'm still nervous and i still get butterflies you know and i just

like how do you exist like if there were more jasmines out there like like we wouldn't be here right now that's an exact quote i'm not sure what that means is he literally saying if there were other jasmines i would have found them first and i wouldn't be here right now well i think i think he's saying that that she's like such a unique combination of all these good qualities that don't usually exist in one person and so he's saying like i've never met anybody like you before okay and it's incredible and she's of course just immediately just charmed by him because it's good because who isn't uh is this your number one couple is this your is this the number one hollywood power couple right now oh man i think so i think it's i think it's good

good stuff mccall or mike if you've got mi in there i think you're good to go they're both just such solid guys good boys in different ways one of them's literally solid and and interesting too not like solid in a way that is bland yes like they're they're a little safe i'll say neither of them seems to have like a, a dark side or a temper. Mike can do that mouth bubble thing. And that's a dark side? Yes. Because he learned that at assassin school.

The school for assassins. Your emphasis got kind of weird there. No, it didn't. Assassin school school that's not how i said it okay i knew exactly the words were and i just said them normally uh and so then there's there's more dudes sitting in silence and drinking tea yeah it's mikhail comments on like it's uncomfortable because like these dudes are all super into it now and so nobody's like chit-chatting at these dates because they know what's happening they're all like psychologically preparing themselves i feel like they're all thinking about like what am i gonna talk about

what can i do there's a funny bit where drew and mckell and kevin uh w are the captain canada are just sitting there not talking forever and then finally drew gets up to go to the day and captain canada's like it's nice talking to you well before he does that he puts in eye drops and puts on chapstick and then he does a lot of prepping of his humors yeah uh and so this is where we realized that jasmine is more on to drew than maybe we knew before oh there was also a bit with deckhand kevin um where she brings up that she hasn't she hasn't kissed him they haven't kissed which is really you do you that's weird for the top seven like to make it this far in and have not smooch yeah and his his big story

is that he takes things slower that he's more guarded and she respects that about him but it definitely is is kind of this is a gambit that people pull on this show sometimes it has worked out none times yeah usually especially at this point yeah they go home but it's working and i think it's like i think it's actually pretty genuine because like, essentially, if you read into it correctly, you can say like, oh, well, then he's actually serious about, about being here. Yeah. He's not doing strategy.

He's not like, I have an anecdote about myself that I'm going to drop. No. Yeah. He's not telling me those anecdotes because he's like reading me first. Yeah. I didn't think that would ever work, but it's working here. So, so anyway, so Jasmine and Drew are talking and. Well, Jasmine's not talking.

Yeah, that's the thing. So she talks about how, or she tells us that he talks about himself a lot and that everything he says is very calculated. So in this exchange, he talks about how, oh yeah, you know, I just, I want to be a dad and I want to be the coach and, and I, you know, whoever I date next, I want to be the person I'm with forever.

And Jasmine's telling us like, it's just monologue. There's no conversing here. And it's hard to tell who the real Drew is. And she actually asked him at one point, like, do you have any questions for me? And he like stalls her, but she's like, do you have any questions for me? And he, like, stalls her a bit.

She's like, this should not be difficult. Yeah. And then it is time for Captain Canada. And he kind of explains how the group date isn't really his style. And she's trying to confirm with him like are you are you into this though like do you want to be with me and he's like yeah no i'm i'm totally homesick right now and the only thing that would keep me here is you uh she brings up like is this just a competition for you because i know for a lot of guys that's not the case and he says like no i'm really into

you i would rather be home but I'm staying here for you. Later on, he does a thing that kind of makes it seem like he was going back on that and really fucks himself up. Yeah, he's just, he's a very jealous man. Yeah, which is, I do not understand

why you come on this show, my friend. You have to know what's up. I know this is the first season. Somebody had to explain to you the premise of the show. When you showed up, otherwise on day one, when you showed up, you're like, what are these other guys doing here? I don't think people, people sometimes don't realize how jealous they are until it's kind

of shoved in their face. Until you date 27 other people at the same time. Yeah. Yeah, all right. That's fair. Yeah. And I mean, here's the thing. It's gonna, it doesn't read well for Kevin.

He comes off just kind of reading like a grumpy Gus. At the same time, like, maybe it's real. This feeling that he feels. Tell me that it's real. We haven't harmonized in so long. Don't let tough come to us and pass us by. I don't know the words. It's all we have to do.

It's up to me and you. I don't know the words to this song. To make this special love. Is this another James Taylor song? Forevermore. Yes, obviously this is James Taylor. Baby, you told me that you love me. And Casey and JoJo's tell me it's real i've heard it before

but i don't know the words how do you know the words it was on now that's what i call music volume six there we go there was a time where i owned three cds and one of them was that's what i call music volume six there we go you promised me baby that you wasn't going anywhere yes you did tell me that it's real good song huh i didn't do it i didn't do a good version of it but no that was very good griffin um what else was on that one fastball that song uh the they made up their minds and they started poking. You remember that one? The Way? I think it was just called The Way.

Yeah. What other ones were on there? Oh, God. I actually think Rammstein's Du Hast. On a Now That's What I Call Music? They took all comers, man. So this was mid-90s. Yeah. So you would have been what like a like an infant i would have been

a small boy yeah are you gonna read the track listing is that what's why you got up yeah but let's keep going because we don't have time for me to read the track listing but now that's what i call music collection uh so everybody's back at the table she She has a rose to give out. Everybody there, of course, thinks they're going to get the rose. But the rose actually goes to Mikkel. And Kevin's real grumpy about it. He feels like it's a slap in the face because they're so different. And he just had a talk with her and thought it went really well. They're up to now.

That's what I call music. Ninety three, by the way. And that is not from the year 1993. There have been 93 collections of this. But was anybody really surprised mikhail like the connection there is so strong i mean i get they don't know that i know we are omnipotent we're omniscient and they're not yeah i mean they see mikhail as a nice guy but they don't recognize that she's like super into him and i think they're just starting to figure it out on this date that's fair uh so then it is time for the cocktail party and before i will say that drew does kind of throw some shade at mckell and says oh that rose was just like a participation

award that was like most improved yeah that's not how that works bud yeah so it's cocktail party the only people up for uh elimination are both both Kevin's and Drew at this point. And one of them is going to go home. Okay. Up to this point, I was like, oh, it's Drew. Because then they have another interaction where he does the exact same thing over and over again. And I was cracking up because Jasmine's reactions were just like, uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Yeah. Drew pulls her away first. cracking up because Jasmine's reactions were just like, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah, yeah. Drew pulls her away first, and she's kind of encouraged because she thinks, oh, he's pulling me away. Maybe he'll have some new depth to reveal. And he's like, I want to tell you about kind of how I came to be who I am. So, you know, I was in university, and I worked really hard at that. And then, you know, I have this job, you know, that I work really hard at. But, you know, I get to travel, and I, like, travel someplace big once a year and then take some little trips. And, you know, sometimes I'll go somewhere like crazy, like Thailand, you know. But it's like really important to me to have that balance between traveling and not traveling and job and not job.

And she starts to tell us, she's like, it feels like he is an actor. A low to mid-level actor. Yeah. He is performing and specifically saying things that he thinks are going to be strong sales points. Yeah. So not a favorable reaction to Drew. Very quickly. It was Now That's What I Call Music, Volume 3.

Really quick, I swear to God. Okay, okay. 1999. Let me take you back to 1999. And Now That's What I Call Music, Volume 3. Really quick, I swear to God. Okay, okay. 1999. Let me take you back to 1999. And Now That's What I Call Music, Volume 3. Oh, so it was late 90s. Quite possibly the greatest album ever created. Track one opens up with Smash Mouth's All Star.

Not a big deal. What's that coming around the bin, though? It's American Woman by Lenny Kravitz, followed by What's My Age Again, Blink-182, and By La Most by Ingrite and Glacius. Oh my gosh. Can you fuck it? It's Sometimes by Britney Spears. All I Have to Give Backstreet Boys, Tell Me It's Real, KC and JoJo, The Rockefeller Skank, Flatboy Slim,

Nookie Limp Bizkit. How are the first nine tracks of your album? They're the best ever! Number ten, Special by Garbage, If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time by R. Kelly, and then some shit hey leonardo by blessed union of souls the hardest thing by 98 degrees and then out of my head by fastball what the fuck is up i gots to get me this cd i gotta find it and i'm gonna bury it in the

yard because that is are you kidding me all of those one? So when you used to listen to this, would you listen to the whole thing? I would just be screaming. It's like, how is all of this so good? Just screaming. I've never had one of those albums before. Do you listen to the whole thing straight through? Because that seems like a really rough ride. You have a party with all your 12-year-old friends, and you just put it on, and you're

like, I'm done. Because this was like, I don't think I had CD-burning technology at this point. It was just around the bend. So this was a mixtape. This was like a hot fucking mixtape. That's the thing. That's what I never understood about those CDs is that it was all songs that were on the radio currently. Yes.

So you could either put the CD in or just turn on the radio. And wait. And wait for Nookie to come on. Make a phone call. So there was probably a week there where Nookie was constantly on your radio. Oh, man. And you would tune into the Christian pop station and Nookie would be there. So constant was the Nookie.

Anyway, that was a huge divergence. It was just like I had a feeling in my gut that it was the best cd ever and i'm glad i've confirmed it okay let's finish this thing yeah let's finish uh so this is the cocktail party where kevin p really steps up this is what i was trying to say earlier before i went on that 10 minute um side side trip uh is that i thought oh for sure drew's coming home and then kevin just screws the old pooch man no no i'm talking about kevin p deckhand kevin uh he has a great performance he has a great performance the other kevin pooch screws he uh kevin p talks a lot about how he is guarded um and and he he does kind of regret it and then he says this thing that i just found so endearing he's like you know i wish i had just met you in like a coffee shop i really like and we just could have sat there and talked until you know we we ran out of things to say and it sounds

like a line but i totally get that it's's not a line, though, because literally nobody's said it before on the show. Nobody's ever acknowledged the existence of romance outside of the walls of the show. So much so that when people get kicked off, they're like, well, love is dead. Like, it was weird to be like, I wish we'd met under normal circumstances and just dated. Well, and couples that leave the show together talk about that a lot. Like, it feels almost ridiculous to them that they met on the show because it's such a, like, contrived situation. And they always

kind of talk like, oh, yeah, it's just crazy that we met on the show. And I think he gets that, and she really appreciates that he's like, trying to go at this like a regular relationship. I liked that can't happen. And it was a nice moment. And then they actually kiss. And they kissed for the first time, and it was a nice moment and then they actually kissed for

the first time and it was really sweet i i found myself getting uh verklempt about it i was i was warmed yeah i'm pretty sure at this point you turned and kissed me i because i said i just i want to do this i want to be like kevin and rachel and i had our first kiss oh it's true uh and it feels weird to tell you this story but after being married for what like seven eight because i was always like no kissing yeah no i got you i got you very pregnant um but that was i come from like a pretty woman school yes where i i don't want to do kissing on the mouth only pregnancy yes downtown, downstairs stuff. Oh God.

Only, that's what she said the night we met. She says, I have to let you know something. It's only downstairs stuff for me. I want us to be together forever. I feel really good about you.

But just so you know, you will only be able to live downstairs. Yeah. In the basement apartment. That's what she called it. Of my body. Of my body.

It was really, really, the garden apartment i was like okay anyway it was nice i see why everybody's always talking about it yeah sorry i blew so much during the kit i like it had been like a really long time so i didn't i was just like ha it just came at you like that ha i didn't know like what the right are you you have to tell me how to treat you i guess yeah that's what i'm saying because in me and you did immediately like don't don't blow like that on me i was like okay well you've told me how to treat or make that noise

that was partially breathing partially excitement that's just the noise i make we have got to end this episode okay okay so anyway so you're gonna miss the whole debate so she really appreciates that he's trying to figure out if she if he's interested in her yes um and so then it's time for captain canada and he takes the initiative as much as it pains him to like go up and talk to her and starts kind of blasting her for not giving him the rose and he's very short with her like let me explain no let me explain i have an explanation for that it's like the rose is your currency and it's just if you felt like you you talked to me last then you gave the rose to somebody else and and i just like

i you know i i felt upset about that and and she's just like she does not take it she didn't take his shit for a second and she also comes back with this really great point which is like if you think it's real between us then you don't need a you don't need a fucking rose on the group date you don't hear what the rest of us talk about on these dates she's like you don't know what my connection is with the other guys and regardless of whether we've had a good conversation it doesn't mean that i haven't had that or similar with other guys and you can't throw he tries to cut her off and she's like no let don't interrupt me let me finish and she says there are other guys that i have a connection with some more than you and he's like oh okay and he stands up and he like goes tell the producer like

i'm gonna leave i think she told him she's like you can't throw a hissy fit if you don't get a rose um and he's like well you know i just am jealous you know and and then it's you know i just thought i would be open with you about how jealous i am and and she's like you know everybody's opening up here uh some more than others and some even more than you and then he just kind of shuts down like she's trying to kind of close the loop and he's not talking and then he gets up and walks away and tells the production staff like i might just leave i might just go home so here's the thing in their first conversation earlier in the episode she was like this isn't a contest to you right he's like no and then here he's like roses are a currency and you didn't give me mine. I was like, oh, okay. But then we cut away and we cut back and it's rose ceremony and he's back.

And he says, yeah, you know, I got kind of heated. But, you know, I still hope that she gives me a rose. She does. And she does. Yeah, both Kevins get a rose. And Drew goes home. Drew has like a, Drew has a hissy of his own uh his like first shot of him in the after the moment interview of him like doing his little laugh um he's like yeah i'm really

pissed off a lot of these guys are getting participation roses just because they're not as nervous as they used to be exactly yeah they're improving and so they get roses and then we get a voyeur shot of him apparently talking to a producer and being like your ratings are going to drop off after this episode um i don't know how much of that is real and how much of that is like hey you're going home do you want to do like one last villain push yeah because they did ask him do you want to be the next bachelor and he immediately said yes here's what i will say i think jerry's a pretty good villain man that this is this it's controversial to say he's obviously a dick right but i think he was for the most part a pretty harmless dick uh gosh i wish i wish canada did a bachelor in paradise i don't i absolutely don't want to spend

any more time with him but i think he was here for a decent amount of time. His stuff with Chris is really contrived and kind of came out of nowhere. But like, he he was like a douche in an 80s movie about like skiing. Yes, exactly. me whatever i want um and was talking about how obviously they're for the wrong reasons like check that box uh but the fact that i can't tell whether or not this last flare-up was like we're just walking out like pushing the camera away and holding up the finger i don't know if that was real or not the fact that i can't tell it was real or not it's a pretty good villain that was a good good good job by drew i i wouldn't want to hang out with you, but... He served a good purpose on the show. And coming out of a couple seasons with some bad villains.

Yeah, some, like, over-the-top, actually dangerous villains. Right. Or just, like, people that they tried to make villains like Lace. And she was a bad villain just because she's not. She's just, like, a... Just kind of a weirdo. It was nice. I don't know. If you're new to the show, it's nice. This is not she's just like a just kind of weirdo uh it was nice i don't know this is if you're new to the show like it's nice this is what it's usually like yeah exactly the

kind of the kind of villain that you're not personally scared of running into on the street yeah uh so that was this week uh yeah episode six uh again i think there's three or four episodes left i'm liking it man really into it yeah we got so we got sent won't read the name uh we got some nice stuff sent to us in the p.o box it's p.o box 66639 austin texas 78766 we got a package from canada we got a package from canada from somebody and i won't say the name at the network where bachelorette canada airs and it was some nice swag for the show and they let it be known that they were not an official representative of the network and that there was maybe some hard feelings maybe from a couple of people at the network that we

watched the show through illegal youtube streams and to that i would say like i swear to god guys i would buy it i'd pay for it that's how we it. We watch so many shows by buying it on iTunes and stuff like that. And I think I've checked and it's not available. We're not bad, bad pirate people. Well, this is just more complicated than that. You know, I'm sure they would make it available to us if they could. Yeah. But yeah, she's she sent us some nice things.

Yeah. So they sent us some nice things um that i don't know it was really sweet oh and uh i don't know if we put kyle kyle on blast but kyle from the show is also now in the rosebuddies tall kyle is holding court in the rosebuddies group yeah i don't think he's an admin or anything like that and i think it would probably be a breach of ethics if he were one but i will say he is probably the tallest person in the group and so he probably has some sort of broad face i looked up online we were we were literally selling him short he is six eight i think i made a joke that i thought i thought he was six five and then i looked at his bio again and he's six eight extremely tall but yeah anyway he's in the facebook group now

posted some pictures of his cats kyle thank you he's happy to8". Extremely tall. But yeah, anyway, he's in the Facebook group now. He's in the group. He posted some pictures of his cats. Kyle, thank you. He's happy to answer questions anyone might have. Yes. And he has his own podcast. Oh, he does? He does. He's just starting it. Is it about Bachelor?

Or what's it about? Well, it's like a Facebook video thing he does with his sister. I like that. I don't know. It's brand new. But thank you, Kyle. Thank you. And thank you to everybody in the Facebook group. Yeah. Y'all are the best. It's a new. But thank you, Kyle. Thank you. And thank you to everybody in the Facebook group.

Yeah. Y'all are the best. It's a really, really great community of people. We have over like almost 6,000 people now. It's insane. It's wonderful. Thank you for listening to our podcast. And we're going to see you again in a week.

Until then, I'm Griffin McElroy. I'm Rachel McElroy. When you're ready. Whoops. When you're ready. Why did it come out like that? What's that? Stay with us on this journey of joy.

Spoiler alert. She ends up with Soulja Boy. Right reasons. Right reasons. Getting rid of all the wrong reasons.