Wonderful! - Ep. 46: Crazy Frog!

Episode Date: November 18, 2016

We're talking about a blissfully brief Men Tell All episode of The Bachelorette Canada this week, and preparing ourselves emotionally for the season's upcoming finale. We're going to miss you, Canada. Desperately. MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the best rep and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love, one man for my whole life. Hi. Three, two, one, and... Hi, this is Rachel McElroy.

Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is Rose Buddies. This is the only podcast. It's the only podcast. And you think I'm fucking lying. Look at your app. They're all gone. Your Welcome to Night Vale's, your cereals.

I don't even know if that one's going right now. This American Life, This American Bye, it's gone. Because they just, they up and deleted all of them. Stuff you shouldn't know anymore buy it's gone because they just they up and deleted all of them stuff you shouldn't know anymore stuff you'll never ever know is what they changed the name of it to and it's only on the deep web because everybody heard this bachelorette canada game so strong and they were like you gotta let you gotta get out the industry click ira glass click surely there's not room for anyone else anymore there's not there's certainly not room for other bachelorette canada podcasts because this couple in austin texas is talking

about a show in canada that hundreds of people watch canada the austin of earth that's a new podcast it is a little bit complicated so on rose buddies we talk about the bachelor bachelorette for family of products, we talk about the Bachelor, Bachelorette, Family of Products, and this week we're talking about Bachelorette Canada, which you should not hate on the viewership of. We do not have those types of numbers. We just assume it's not as big as the American one, so nobody watches it because if you don't get American eyes.

But it will be. It will be if we have anything to fucking say about it. Well, and if wonderful hosts like Noah and fantastic bachelorettes like Jasmine have anything to say about it. Oh, these two. Noah, we've given some shit. And I don't even think it's shit. We've just said he died in a bus crash or something and now he's a ghost. We just said that he's more ghost than human.

Right. You did such a good job at this, Mintel All. It is such a, it is such a it is such a by the way we're talking about mintel all for bachelorette canada sees s s1 e10 uh and i i know we've given him some shit but this is a tough job doing the mintel all and he locked it the fuck down let me let me just give you a stat that shows what a pro he is. And this would have been enough here. Did you count how many times he was touched by a corporeal object or person? No. I'm saying that episode starts, he welcomes us, and within the first two minutes, he says,

journey twice, happily ever after, and hot seat. Like, that would have been enough. He could have been like, thanks. Yeah. Thanks for watching. That's everything. You just came here to watch a person on tv started out two minutes already hit all the keywords absolutely um and

then just and then just wouldn't let up do you think that chris harrison is doing who wants to be a millionaire now just because he got so obsessed with the idea of putting people into hot seats like he just like has this fetish now of putting people in seats where they are under a lot of like, um, stress to perform. I think there's something about the show that makes you good under pressure, you know?

And I think maybe he got addicted to that high. Maybe. I think he just likes people, putting people in dangerous chairs. I think, I think starting out before he was a host, he worked at like a death row somewhere and he did like the the electric chairs he worked at a death row somewhere and yeah

did the electric and he did the electric chairs and he would put people in it and be like how's that seat he would say pretty stressful seat isn't it that's what that's his character okay kind of like the bad guys in green mile you know what i'm talking about you know what i've isn't it? That's his character. Okay. Kind of like the bad guys in Green Mile. You know who I'm talking about. You know what? I've never seen the Green Mile.

I know. We've talked about this. You don't like jail movies because you get so scared. No, I like Shawshank Redemption. You just think you don't like Shawshank Redemption. You just think like all these people. I've seen all of Orange is the New Black. That's true. So the men told it all you would think they would keep some of it to themselves but no they were very generous with it

and this was a good men tell all dude first of all 45 minutes in and fucking out hey america you watching it was efficient hey abc you're watching you're watching that w network because they've got it figured out a lot of people on that stage wouldn't even hear from no you know that's fine though didn't need to some of them we heard from a little too much yeah um a lot of familiar faces up there we got jp the naked boy we got um thomas so seductive thomas with the hair toss he knows he knows what we want we got david who got about 14 seconds screen time yeah uh and kyle my boy kyle my big tall just beautiful kyle beautiful planetary man just like worked in a joke dunked on david so hard because oh we'll get to it but like so many so much fun can i say something that is very fucked up okay i'm gonna miss this show me too and the

cast i'm gonna miss these people that's i've never felt that about and i don't know if it's because we have crossed well it's because they talk to us directly crossed an ethical boundary we haven't really discussed. We're like, everybody on this show, if you were on this show in any regard, there are extras on this show who are now members of the Facebook community. Hey, Canada, I have a question for Canada.

Are you gonna stay with us when we leave you? Or are you gonna go away? What do you mean? We have a lot of Canadian friends now, and I'm worried they're going to leave us when we leave them. I don't know. Ours isn't voluntary.

You know, like, if this show kept running, and I'm sure it will. I mean, there's going to be other seasons. I hope we can just ping pong back and forth. That would be nice. But here's the other thing, babe. I've had such a great experience here. I kind of want to give other

countries a chance i kind of want to dip into bachelor australia i've heard a lot of good things about australia because australia also has the two women contestants who fell in love and like that's so dope and like i want to i like i want to see that you know bachelor is about to get up in japan i don't think though i think the side of the story we got is yeah they they fell in love but i don't think the show was taped as such and what i think would be fun to watch is their love story but that's not what the show was so you can see it you can see it you read between the lines i don't know um i mentioned bachelor is coming to japan which i'm very excited about i just wanted to holler at every single person in the Rose Buddies group who recommended Terrace House to me and Rachel.

We've watched a little bit, and we already love it. Oh, my God, Terrace House. It's on Netflix. Terrace House, boys and girls in the city. And it's like, I am with you. I also live in Terrace House. What is great about Terrace House is they have this cadre of real-time watchers on a couch. Which is very Japanese programming.

That is not uncommon, having a crew of people who talk and comment on stuff as things are happening. But what they'll do is they'll show maybe seven minutes, and then they'll cut to the peanut gallery. And the peanut gallery adds so much value so good it's like six funny adults and one 14 year old boy prince who like this 14 year old boy king who like nobody knows why he's there and they only ask him from time to time like so what did you think of that scene he's like i'm just under so much pressure and it's like he's so cute um sometimes they'll be like they're like i really don't like how that cast member said that and he'll be like i totally like that i like the bad ones it's like damn boy king i like your shit terrace house anyway

i want to talk about it i know we have a lot of other stuff we could do like after this is over and we hit the weird period where we've just had a baby and I don't know what we're doing with the podcast. And it's, like, the holidays and everything. Yeah. But I just wanted, I can't not tell people not to watch Terrace House. Yeah. Two seasons on Netflix. Check it out.

Let's, it's, we've gone for eight minutes and we haven't talked about anything that's happened on the show. Okay. That's fine. It's going to be short, right? It was a short, it was a short little episode maybe i don't know okay so um the way mental all works if you're just joining us uh is that there's a lot of clips i would say like 40 of the show is just clips from the season you've been watching uh it was weird because it's a short episode right this was 45 minutes and also the they were recapping things from nine episodes that's how long the season has been this is

episode 10 but i will say there was stuff we forgot i mean there was stuff that i tried very hard to forget like the seth kiss and well a few kisses that just didn't quite make it across the 100 yard line into the touchdown zone just line just they started to be kisses they started to be real touchdown kisses and then and then it was it was what is a touchdown kiss you know like a kiss that happens but like not if you have jasmine at the 90 yard line like no this kiss is not going to the touchdown you came out when chris didn't get didn't get to the smooch he got that shit shut down shut down um yeah so we so we get some of the big the big moments uh and noah starts in right away kind of asking like what was that about uh which is what i'll call this segment what's that about uh so first we see seth

with the awful kiss that jasmine did not like and so noah is like hey seth what was that about uh and seth was like oh i was really nervous and i felt really pressured i don't normally move so quickly to the kiss but i i did in this moment and that's what you were singing uh and then we see david do the top that moment where he performs a song and then like stands up to all the other guys and it's like hey guys top that and noah's like he was hey david what's that about he was so equivocal even now where noah was like noah asked the hard fucking questions y'all he put the text to these boys and like was like david so were you here to promote your music

or did you actually come here to find love he's like you know i just love music so much like performing for people makes me so happy i was like bad bad answer bud yeah he could have he could have said um no i was here for jasmine but instead he's like well i really like music for people makes me happy and this was when k Kyle had his great, great fucking goof because David was like, but I do, I just wanted to know, like, I apologize and I wish I could get it through to her. And Kyle was like, and so I've prepared a song. What? It was good shit.

Yeah. He could feel the tension in the room as David is kind of fumbling the response and he just comes right in and says, all right, let's see that a one and a two it was good it was very good um there was a boy there was a boy i didn't remember named andrew who was who always had to get a fucking always had to get a fucking hand on the ball i always had to get in there and just let me put andrew's stamp on this one was somebody that stuck around but added almost nothing and we didn't know anything about him and then tonight he really he really wanted to bring he was he was very some energy scott farkas's crony from

christmas story um yeah well there's one every like there is man or woman tell all who shows up and is like, I'm an important cast member. And you're like, no, you're not. Yeah, he really wanted to play a big role. And so what happened was they started talking about this Toronto clique that formed, which included Drew and some of the more kind of alpha males, as they call them. And some of the more kind of alpha males, as they call them. And so Noah is asking about this Toronto clique. And Andrew decides to pipe up and say, oh, yeah, well, you know, I mean, it's like anything. You know, you're just drawn to people that have, you know, the same interests.

You know, like some men aren't going to cry on national TV. And Chris is like, why would you even? And while he's talking, Andrew leans over with a Kleenex and tries to hand it to him. And this joke, y'all, like, nothing. It was so fucking brutal. Like, he leans over to hand it to him, and, like, nobody... Everybody has sort of the same response, which is just like, really, dude? Really, dude? Well, yeah, and Noah's like, you know, is it funny?

Like, is it funny? Is it really a joke? You say you're joking, but, like, you try to hand him a Kleenex, and he's like, I know, is it funny? Like, is it funny? Is it really a joke? You say you're joking, but like, you try to hand him a Kleenex and he's like, I don't think that's funny. Is it still a joke? And it just cuts to Andrew who's just sitting stone faced like, oh no, my joke was bad. And then they go to a break. Yeah.

That was it. It was fucking brutal. They laid this dude low. No place for hate on Mental All. No. Noah creates a very safe environment it's true except for andrew who got fucking destroyed yeah um well you know what it is i think it's it's because noah's a sensitive guy you know and he's not gonna he's not gonna put up with this

this bro club yeah i mean when the for when the moon is waxing for 15 days, he's a ghost. That's my new, that's the only way I can. Okay. That's the only way I can sort of rationalize it. So, super moon. Oh, my God. He was, I guess he was very corporeal. He was the most here he's ever been.

That would make sense. Yeah. So, then we come back from the break and it is drew's turn this let me say drew is wearing some denim jeans and a white sport coat and i just thought have a little respect for the process drew everyone here is in a nice suit um drew does the drew does not do a very good villain performance no at first he comes out and he's like yeah you know people people you know some people hate me some people love to hate me you know uh and at first you're kind of like okay this is what villains say yeah you're doing it

right but then noah kind of asks him like you can't fake you know you can't edit this you can't fake that everybody genuinely wanted to know whether you were there to find love or not well he also said we can't edit around some of this stuff that you said we can't edit around you going to the producer and being like seriously uh and i i made me wonder if drew had like said some shit about like it was a bad edit uh but drew was like no i did say all that stuff but um i hit a point where i just uh didn't feel like she liked me and so after that point i was just there to help my career well and yeah and the pettiest part was that Drew was like, I won two group dates. And when other guys won group dates, they got one-on-one time with her.

But I didn't, like, get hardly anything at all, you know? And it was just like, it was just clear she wasn't into me. In Drew's defense, the group date rewards this season were all over the fucking place. It's like, oh, you won the football game. Come with me to this cabin for three straight days and one of them is like oh you won the football game well everybody is going to come and i'm not going to spend time with you despite the fact that you specifically won the i'm going to give the rose to somebody else and i'm going to go on a date

with everybody else but you yeah that's true but you don't i mean you don't complain about it no you just apparently stay on the show out of spite on bachelorette you're not allowed to hate the player or the game no it's just the rule no because if you do you've lost and you look petty and that's that's how he looked um uh but yeah drew drew is just makes it clear like i was trying and i was here to find love until morocco morocco is when i stopped trying and while he's saying this chris is making all these faces and immediately he turns to chris and he's like why you look like you took six adderall and now you're looking at me weird and he says that and like no laughter no response it's so many like nobody's buying it nobody wants

any of the nastiness it was this beautiful utopia that they've created at this mintel all where like the nasty boys try to like say a mean joke and everybody's like oh which like is it is the polar fucking opposite from this last mintel all when rod shows up and is like fart noise and everybody's like give him a show give him two shows i know like nobody was fucking having it this is this is a key cultural difference between our our great land and the great nation of canada but the thing about drew is true also kept apologizing he apologized for the shit he said he apologized to chris he apologized uh yeah but nobody like knew whether to believe him yeah everybody was like i don't know if that's true or not but okay yeah uh and so chris so the camera kind of shoots to chris because chris is like having a little fit about drew's

um about drew's reactions and chris is like well you just keep changing your story it doesn't make any sense. Like at first you're saying I was there to find love, but then you're saying, well, but then I stopped trying and then I was there for myself. And like what you're saying now doesn't match with what you told Jasmine. And then Drew does this weird moment where he was like, well mean like are you really gonna go on national tv to find love like yeah that was because uh uh noah asked him like so do you really want to be the next bachelor he's like yeah because like it would be cool to like have 20 girls just like try to you know come in and but but at the same time like there's this thing it's like are you really gonna

go on tv to find love and it's like yeah dude like are you really gonna go on tv to find love and it's like yeah dude like are you really gonna go on survivor to try and find idols and vote people yeah yeah yes yeah are you really gonna be on a tbs basketball broadcast to play basket yeah that's what you would i think that's actually what you would it's like he wants to be part of the machine, but then also wants to be above the machine. You know, like, oh, I want to be the Bachelor. Sure, who wouldn't? But then I'd be the Bachelor. And oh, is that cool?

I don't know. Is that okay? There's this weird melange of villains gotta build typical bullshit mixed with what seemed like sincere apology, or at least, like, feigned apology, which is still, like, you're going on TV and, you know, apologizing a lot. And, like, mixed messaging. Just, like, not knowing the right thing to... Yeah, which is why people don't know whether they can trust his apologies. Yeah.

Because clearly he hasn't figured out whether or not he's sincere um and then they do a bit with drew and chris like diving into that sweet sweet drama again and chris explains that the beef for him started with this um altercation that was not on tv this little little behind-the-scenes peek. So try to recap it. After a rose ceremony, the boys hadn't cleared the set yet, and some of them started eating craft services off this table, and somebody on the crew came up and said, hey, if you guys are going to eat that,

please leave some for the crew, because that's technically their dinner. And Drew apparently freaked the fuck out on them. And so, like, there was a lot of discussion about this. More than you usually get about anything that wasn't on camera. Because Drew owned up to it. Oh, Drew owns up to it. And, like, if it happens off camera, typically this show pretends it doesn't fucking happen yeah um the

fact that uh chris harrison brought up rod like shitting on the hotel staff uh during bachelor paradise is like that that kind of stuff no joke is like it was unprecedented because when you bring that stuff up it breaks the magic yeah i'm thinking that you're seeing into these people's like real real lives but they talk about it for a while. And like, uh, Chris claims that he's like cussing, cussing these guys out,

cussing out the crew, this one particular crew person. Yeah, and talking down to them. And talking down to them. And Drew's like, no, I didn't.

I just, I hadn't eaten for seven hours. And, uh, I saw this food and I said, I said, we don't get paid to be here, which is,

I guess, true. It is true. Yeah. Contestants don't get money for being on the show that's crazy uh and you guys do so and i haven't eaten in seven hours so i'm gonna eat your food and then somebody was like and then you told them to shut their fucking mouth or something like that and chris stepped up to him and was like hey don't talk to this person don't belittle this person and that is apparently where the beef started which is like now it makes sense you remember like they this fight lasted three four five episodes and all of a sudden there was beef between them nowhere and it's because chris like talked like said like hey don't fucking berate this person while they're doing their job

um well and here was what was interesting is that drew drew kind of owns up to it but he doesn't agree at first with the way it's being portrayed and then when the guys corroborate on chris's story drew's like well it shouldn't have been chris that said something yeah he said chris chris said you don't talk to people like that shut your mouth and he said that you don't talk to people like that. Shut your mouth. And he said that, you don't do that to me in front of, like, 15 alpha males. That term was used so many fucking times this episode. I know, it was. And my skin grew out. My skeleton started to, like, come.

You saw that? Like, out of my right arm, my skeleton was like, is it okay out here? I was like, no, no, no, no, no. It's not okay out here. He said, you shouldn't have done that in front of a bunch of alpha males. And so Noah was like, so what was the right way for him to tell you to stop berating a crew member on the show and he said you go and you get kyle and you tell kyle you tell kyle this kyle can tell me that kyle can tell me that you're not because you're not that guy and it's like dude you just set up chris to dunk on

you and sure enough chris is like if i see somebody being shitty to somebody like that i'm gonna say something whether it's televised or not, and, like, standing ovation. Like, Drew, you fucked this up so bad. First of all, that behavior, like, sucks. That's crazy. Like, you corroborated it. Basically, everybody else did. So it sounds like you were a fucking nightmare.

If anybody's going to tell me anything, it's only going to be the seven-foot-tall man. Yeah, the big alpha males. gonna tell me anything it's only gonna be the seven foot tall man yeah the big alpha males and it also makes me think that like that temper tantrum he threw after getting kicked off that i thought was like straight up uh you know kayfabe it sounds like no he was actually kind of a fucking asshole yeah um and and to to like own up to that and then let chris come in and be like step in like he's batman like hey how's how's your rivalry? Pretty bad, I think. Yeah, there's a point while you're watching the mental all where you kind of see on Drew's face that this has gone horribly wrong. And he knows, oh, like, there's no redeeming myself now.

Okay, so at this point, Drew tries to apologize to Chris. And he's like, hey, you know, I watched the show. I didn't know you took it this hard. I'm sorry. And I really didn't mean for it to be that way. Talking about when Chris tattled on Drew and then had like an emotional breakdown after that. Drew was like, I'm sorry you took that so you took that so hard i wouldn't have gone so hard and then there's this weird moment where it does seem like drew is being

sincere and so chris is like you know i i thank you you know i can't always tell but i sense now you know that you're being genuine and then as he says genuine, Drew likes almost like he's correcting him says genuine again. But maybe maybe Chris didn't say it right. Or maybe like he thought he was extending this olive branch. And because Chris didn't accept it fucking at face value, he was being like rude or something like that. But it was just like, yeah, man, it's like I can't tell if you're being genuine. And he was just like genuine. Because like, sorry, what was that?

Andrew almost like he felt bad for getting caught. was like nothing man go ahead and fucking andrew behind him is like yeah man get him they pull away to go to break but everybody's still miked and you can hear noah and chris kind of debriefing what just happened this was weird noah's like oh man, man, it's uncomfortable, right? And Chris is like, yeah, there's always all this, like, laughter and jokes happening. And it's like, you can't tell what's going on. Like, is everybody else seeing this? And Noah's like, yeah, everybody else is seeing this. This is like while the camera's panning away,

like going to a Canadian Charmin commercial or something. So then we come back from break. And this is the Lonely Hearts edition of the show, where you're going to see Thomas, you're going to see Kevin, and you're going to see Benoit, and you're going to see all of them have their hearts smashed. You know, and everyone's doing their best.

I thought it was weird that Kevin got included in here, because theirs was such a, like... It was so amicable. This was the scholars on the mount, just like, I don't want you. I don't want you either. such a like it was so amicable this was the this was the scholars on the mount just like yeah i don't want you i don't want you either yeah like they have like a uh like a high level discussion about why they are not compatible and that's it and then like no tears yeah she just abandons him to die she gives him a tibetan sky burial and like that's it. Yeah, and so Thomas gets, like, a few seconds, and Thomas is like, yeah, I was surprised by how much I felt for her, you know?

And I remember, you know, after our first date, going back to my room and just being like, wow, I really feel things for this person. The hardest one, the saddest one was actually benoit um because you remember his he was a goobus um and he actually apologized for like how yeah because remember so he he was really like sexually aggressive with her yeah and he watched it back and was like i am really embarrassed and i i'm really sorry for that he was like he was too handsy and he would always want to make out um yeah and he was like yeah i didn't want to be like the drunk guy that like you know was pushing myself on her um and and they showed like the bit where he got sent home and it was his, the things he was saying were so, so sad. Yeah.

Like he's, he seemed to like really like Jasmine and not know what to do with that energy. Yeah. Be kind of like watched himself back. Like, Oh my gosh, I'm,

I am not coming across the way I thought I did. Yeah. Jasmine who shows up later in the episode, like talks to him about it. And it's like, that wasn't why I sent you home. She said, I like your passion. And it's like, you can't have liked his tongue as much as you gave it so much.

So plentiful. So generous with the tongue. Yeah. Was there anybody else in the Heartbreak Squad? No, we go to Mike next. Oh, yeah, Mike, king of the... Mike, so this is where the clips really paid off. Because I remember, Griffin, you and I were really like, we were team Mike at the beginning.

And then by the end, I couldn't really figure out why we were. I remembered why. He was a sweet, funny boy who can do the cool bubble pop thing with his mouth, and he has a 10-pack. But, well, yeah, no, I know. But it was more than that. You know, like when we got to watch the clips back, I saw like they did have this kind of sweet understanding between them that seemed really comfortable. Yeah. And watching those clips, I was like, oh, yeah, like that's what I was rooting for. Yeah.

Yeah. Mike seems to have a lot of self-awareness now because when he's talking to Noah, he's like, yeah, it's tough for me to open up and be vulnerable. And I recognize that that may have been part of it. And there's nothing I can do about it now. But it's hard for me not to think that that must have had something to do with it when she let me go. And he's like, I need to be better about that like i recognize that now it was like it was very like he seemed like he learned a lot from this experience which some people in the rosebuddies group and i see where they're coming from

like is he the next canadian bachelor i don't know god i hadn't even thought about that well it depends also we don't know how they do it this is the first season of bachelorette we don't know. God, I hadn't even thought about that. Well, it depends also who gets... Because we don't know how they do it. This is the first season of Bachelorette. We don't know how they're going to... How have they been finding their bachelors before? Fucking Craigslist. What would that ad look like, Griffin? Want to date 30 people at once.

Not even 30, probably. Probably less. Want to date 12 people at once. I have had that. Like helicopters. helicopters love helicopters have been hurt before not sure if i'm ready but willing and toned question mark yes period have strong feelings about provinces in canada strong provincial feelings um anything else i think that's it i mean but that's not i mean what would be on jasmine's craigslist listing it would be an it would have to be a novella of of just floral descriptions of traits you don't even know that

you need on your television show wait are you saying to get jasmine on the show when they were okay so when they were trying to find bachelorette right they had to write the kind of description that only occurs once in a lifetime once in a galaxy of stars uh so mike is the first person to get to share time, like, talking directly to Jasmine. Because Jasmine comes out and... Hugs Noah and it's like, it's pretty corporeal. It's like really... Well, it's the supermoon. It is the supermoon.

Okay. Yes, yes, yes. They probably didn't shoot this... Give some power. Definitely didn't shoot this yesterday, though. No, I this yesterday though no i know well maybe in canada the super moon comes earlier maybe it's closer to the top of the earth i don't think that oh no come on it might be i mean i'm not an astronomer maybe nobody is no no yeah hey yeah nobody is yeah that's like some old school Galileo shit. We know everything we're ever going to know about the planets.

And the planets that aren't planets anymore. Right. Like, not in my backyard. Remember when America had time to be outraged about things? About anything. That were just like planets that weren't planets anymore. I mean, that's a pretty fucking good thing to be outraged about things about anything that were just like planets that weren't planets anymore i mean that's a pretty fucking good thing to be outraged about right the there's not now there's eight planets what the fuck they're planets they're so big and so far away you don't get to that one's not a planet it's a billion billion years away you don't know

what the fuck you're talking about uh but this cup used to be red. That's what they're angry about now. This cup's all red. Where'd it go? Is the dress white and gold or blue and black? I don't know. Anyway, that's not the sun anymore. What? That's a way bigger deal than my cup is new and I

hate it. Right? Now I don't know what we're talking about. What is this cup? The Starbucks cup. Everybody gets so fucking angry about the fucking Starbucks cup. Oh, yeah. And it's like that, to me... I guess you're right. We do still have time to be angry about some things.

That's small fry shit. Yeah. Saying that Pluto's not a planet is a huge deal. Because it's a planet. I don't know. Earth's not a planet anymore. Doesn't impact my day-to-day. Oh, well.

It's a nice life you live i'm just over here stressing about the planets all the time we have fewer planets now the number of we are we we are experiencing planetary loss do you get up every day and just check and make sure the planets are still planets now yeah i get on nasa.com nasa.gov and it's like don't go to nasa.com who knows what who knows it's there and it's like those the people at nasa are just like we're we are thinking real hard about jupiter it's like it's the biggest one it is a planet as saturn's mostly gas so who fucking knows maybe it's another maybe it's another star what the asteroid belt is now a billion little planets that's crazy you can't do that

i'm surprised at how confident you are talking about space i would be nervous to say anything at all because i feel like my very energetic mother just served us nine pizzas well no just served us nuggets Nuggets? Nougat? Nuts? Just served us nuts. It doesn't, it's not. Anyway. Anyway.

So Jasmine and Mike talk. And Mike just immediately gets to the question, because Noah cues him up and says, what do you want to ask her? And Mike says, well, I didn't say that i loved you um was that was that what was going on and jasmine's like oh well no no no no no like i wouldn't have ever wanted you to say that you loved me if you weren't ready and this is when mike like mike was like well too bad because i loved you and i still love you. Yeah, like I love you and you're a very good friend and I want the best for you. He says, I know it's not my job to be your protector. Yeah, and then maybe somebody else. And it's like, okay.

And he says, but I just think of myself as your very, very good friend and I want nothing but the best. Yeah. Okay. Very intimate. Very intimate. myself is your very very good friend i want nothing but the best yeah okay very intimate very intimate and jasmine ultimately says that you know that i i'm a very passionate person i'm very very outwardly emotional and you're just cautious and that's just who you are you know and i think that's just always going to be what the disconnect was for us which is still brutal every time you say it is never not going to be brutal you're too

boring yeah you just don't you're like safe you're so safe i want a danger boy like mikhail he rides a hog you know what i did think about so chris chris became very fixated on on the fact that he was weird and that was fine because jasmine was looking for somebody that was kind of weird too and i thought oh well that's that's mikhail like mikhail's a weird dude that's kind of weird couch and he was like she's wasn't looking for my kind of different i was like no looking for mikhail's kind of different yeah looking for this like shy helicopter man who turns into a helicopter when he eats spicy food the kind of wait i like that it's true that's like a great children's tv show and it was that was a show called turbo teen where a boy would eat spicy food he turned into like a sleek

sports this is like the second time you've talked about turbo teen 50th time i've talked across it about it across the whole mackerel podcast empire. How did I totally miss this show that existed? I think they only made eight episodes of it. When was this? Give me an approximate year. If I told you a year right now, it would be a fucking lie, baby. And you don't want me to lie to you. You don't remember?

See, I always think about how old I was, and then I can remember the year. I don't think I ever watched Turbo Teen. It's just a funny cultural relic. You're looking at me in disbelief. There was a child's TV show where a boy would eat spicy food and he would turn into a car. That's the craziest. I'm a boy who turns into a car. That's weird.

Where does your butt go? Does it turn into the back seats? What about Transformers, Griffin? Transformers is not. No, Transformers is not a boy. His fucking head, baby, when he transforms into a car, stretches outwards to the side, and his eyes turn into the fucking headlights.

It's, my flesh has become car. My, you know, intestines is now the tailpipe. Like, that's crazy that this flesh boy turns into a car, and his method of doing it is he eats spicy food. I've never seen an episode of this show, but what is that, like, you eat a buffalo a buffalo wing when like the bad guys come to town and vroom i'm a car well fuck they're just bad guys i can't i'm not in a car this is very indicative of the macaroy shared brain so you've never seen this show absolutely not but it has become a big touchstone for you because the macaroys as a whole no no no it has become a big touchstone for me because it's about a boy who transforms into a car when he eats spicy food did justin or travis

watch this show probably they have absolute garbage taste and they always have they always have okay okay it's probably it's probably travis's favorite show that's not true travis's favorite show is gallivant what what about boy meets world that's the second favorite show i love that show that show didn't feature any boys that would transform into cars when they eat spicy food which was always a challenge for me it's always a challenge for me when i watch we started watching tara's house it's great it's so disappointing that none of them turn into cars when they eat spicy food yeah well what can you do i mean nothing i guess there's nothing you can do okay i don't even know how to get back to talking about this show now well let

me eat some spicy food i'll turn into a car and you can drive back onto the plot is this why you don't eat spicy food it's not a digestive thing it's like because oh no it's absolutely a digestive thing okay and i do still eat spicy food okay it makes me very ill uh so now the guys that are sitting up in the bleachers get a chance to ask jasmine questions for no joke 90 seconds yeah this used to be this was an hour an hour on the american version like and people would ask a question and if the question seemed to have enough weight chris would call them up and they'd get their own turn on the hot seat uh but this is just like bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang yeah it was just like crazy frog i agree i don't know what that is either you remember

fucking crazy frog it was everybody's ringtone for a while. And it's just the guy who's like, You just made me do fucking Crazy Frog on a podcast. This is entrapment. You don't remember that? I'm going to fucking pull up Crazy Frog. I feel like some kind of space alien right now. You seem like a space alien. You don't know Turbo Team.

You don't know Crazy Frog. I feel like a real alien you don't know turbo team you don't know crazy frog i feel like a real lauralee lawyer oh babe you're supposed to remind me to book a hair appointment i'm sorry i didn't do that we've been talking about jasmine for a while now you didn't even think about the hair appointment crazy frog well it see it only has, they only have, so the Crazy Frog has also done, like, songs. But, like, there's just, like, he has his own classic sort of, okay, okay, here we go. You're going to love this. It's Crazy Frog. It's Crazy Frog. crazy frog and people people wanted that people loved crazy frog people loved crazy frog everybody listening to this podcast at home right now is like crazy frog babe do you remember crazy frog

and their their significant others like no I don't remember Crazy Frog. And they're like, oh, I can tell you about Crazy Frog. Hold on. And then they play it on their podcast. Okay. Well, I've learned a lot today. And I can't say that I'm grateful for it. But thank you.

You love, you, baby, you used to love crazy frog no you used to love crazy frog you'd come home from work and you'd be like so sad and i'd be like what happened you're like i don't even want to talk about it and i'd be like no no i do it for you i I'd do the whole thing. And I'd like that. You loved it, baby. Okay. And then I'd do the hamster dance.

You know what I do know? I know the banana that does peanut butter jelly time. Is that a similar thing? Who's that? What's his story? Why is it banana? Let's please. Okay, so let me just go through the questions the boys asked do it because they were slam dunks drew hobson first as this is custom and apologizes for the things he said specifically when he left the show because he knew that those

are the bad things and she's like well i don't exactly know whether to trust your apology but uh it's big of you to say that so thank you jasmine fucking crushing it well she's like, well, I don't exactly know whether to trust your apology, but it's big of you to say that. So thank you. Jasmine fucking crushing it. She's like, yeah, because you showed me so many sides during the TV show. I don't know whether you're being true or not, but like you're kind of laying yourself down in front of Canada right now. So I guess I appreciate that. And then Noah is like, I don't know why it feels natural, but I'm going to go straight from Drew to Chris.

Chris, do you have any questions? And Chris is like, you know, do you understand now why I called out Drew, you know, and made it a point to say those things to you? Because Chris thinks, as was easy to think, that he got sent home because he tattled on Drew. Yeah. Because it happened right after that and jasmine's like no no no that's not why i sent you home like it was always a positive thing to me that you said something and you were the only one looking out for me and i appreciated that so chris gets serious vindication yeah sure like thank you for i mean we gave him shit

i feel like when that episode happened because he didn't happened, because he didn't do it very well. Well, he didn't rally. He didn't follow the rules. He didn't rally a posse to like. But it's crazy that we called him out for that when it's like, yeah, that's true. He was the only person that went to her and was like. We were thinking of it like a sportsmanship. Like, you're not going to win the game now.

The Taddlers never win the game. And I actually feel bad about that. We were like, Chris, you tattled. Now you're not going to win the game now you the toddler toddlers never win the game and i actually feel bad about that we're like chris you tattled now you're gonna lose but really like you are actually telling this woman like hey this dude that is here sucks i know well so the problem is now we're like franchise wonks and we're like here are the rules what do you do oh i'm a i'm a bachelor bachelor, bachelor wonk. I'm a bachelor wonk. The thing is, is that if you are going to, if you are going to call somebody out, you need to have at least,

I don't know, two to three other people that are going to be like, yeah, no, that is true. And I agree. Yeah. And Chris didn't do that hard work. So that's why he lost the election.

God. Benoit asked if his passion was too much and this is when jasmine gets in the little burn on seth and it's like this was good if i didn't you know if i didn't like your kiss you would have known about it you saw how i was with seth and even no no it was like oh shots fired i think that was good um and then we get some bloopers oh these bloopies were good you know who these bloopies were good for kevin still still active kevin w kevin w yeah kevin w seemed to be w was super funny seemed to be a funny person which we don't get that much charisma from kevin on the show although we've seen it a couple of times i feel like in stuff like this

like in the credits bloopers that you get sometimes, I've really come around on Kevin. I actually like that dude a lot now. Cause I've been, I've been thinking about him a lot through the lens of American bachelor, where I would be like in love with him. I would think he was the best dude. I don't know if that's true,

but I also recognize that like, I have this tendency to be like, yeah, Mikkel is kind of a kind of a like oddball right he's kind of like a he's a soft boy he's a soft boy and he's like kind of kind of geeky and i love him but i think that's just because like i always root for the the soft boys the soft boys and like the you know the funny funny weirdo boys well because it's easiest to tell that they're

there to find love that's true but i also i definitely feel that way about kevin now too kevin doesn't have the tools that mikhail has kevin doesn't yeah he doesn't have like the emotional tools that yeah that he has either but like some of the stuff he's done like i see it and i'm like wow he is actually he is actually here like he he's here for all the right reasons. And I'm not necessarily saying, like, I'm rooting for him over Mikkel, but, like, I could really see it going either way, and I don't think I would be too, you know, upset or confused about it. Only if, and this is the other thing that got brought up in the Rosebuddies group, if maybe Mikkel doesn't win but becomes the next bachelor yeah i would watch

that that's actually i don't i don't know if we're gonna keep watching this show if we're not covering it on on this podcast that would do it that would get are you kidding me mikhail shy sweet little mikhail inside of his little egg that I just want to incubate him. We finally get to see him in a helicopter then, which is all that we've wanted. Yeah, he turns into fucking Stefan Urkel in a helicopter. Just him, his little shy little body just like macking on like 20 women. Oh my God, please. Shy little body just like macking on like 20 women. Oh my God, please. He's in like a hot tub with like three ladies just like trying out some material.

I think it's a win-win. I think he wins and he's, you know, they're in love forever. Or I get just a really fucking good strong season of The Bachelor Canada. When does The Bachelor Canada even happen? What time of year is that? I don't know. Oh don't know i don't know either uh so in the bloopers we get to see some great stuff we get to see a lot of the boys dancing which is fun including noah i think half of this season was just boys dancing for their boys which i love and then jasmine getting really nervous about having to pee all

the time i saw this i was like me and jasmine i think we could be best friends because rachel knows rachel's uh uh 37 weeks pregnant yeah and i still think i griffin still pees more than me yeah it's incredible but griffin brought up the point and i think it's a good one he works from home he never has to hold it never i don't have the resistance he doesn't have he doesn't have the muscles that that most of us have because we go out in the world and and have to hold it sometimes joking aside like all of the like the super cut of jason saying she had to pee she had this um uh embarrassment that like when we were shooting the bim bam show like i didn't i didn't pee less

while we're making a tv show and so like every time you do that you're like hey fucking 40 people who are trying to do your job right now i'm gonna make you stop while i go and make a wee wee in the toilet nothing it's there's nothing more you have to let everybody know we talked about i think we talked about 10 ones 10 yeah but like it is it's it's really humiliating to be like hey i'm gonna go to the bathroom and i'll be in there a while because it's dookie this time after the show was over did you guys all go out and get 10 one tattoos no but i would i would um i don't know that I even want to ask this question. No, you do. We don't have to go down this path.

But are there male Kegels? Because for ladies, there are exercises you can do to increase the strength of your pelvic floor, which helps you not have to, you know, it helps you better control your bladder muscles. And so I'm wondering if there's an exercise maybe that you should do. There is. To help you. They're called. Uh-oh. They're called deagles.

Okay. I'm backing out. I'm backing out. I don't want to know. Let me tell you all about it like kegels but for your wiener wiener kegels deagles you know is that where you think your bladder is yeah i mean that's where it has to go through i mean all kegels are kegels are like forming a muscle that is like hey p not get your damn hands off her. George McFly of muscles.

Yeah. And so for deagles are just, I imagine, like you just sort of learn how to flex and control your meatus. Your what? Oh, baby. Read a health book. Okay. I'm Googling meatus right now to make sure it is what I think it is. How do you spell that?

Like meat, like food, and then us, like U.S. God, I can't unload the crazy frog. My Google searches for this past fucking 50 minutes are complete garbage. Yes, the urethral meatus. Wow, Griffin, good work. I know what's going on down there. Anyway, yeah, I whip my meatus back and forth and it keeps the pee inside. So that's our show.

After the bloopers, we get a preview of the finale it's very dramatic it's hard to tell there seems to be a lot of doubt between kevin and jasmine because of their tumultuous relationship yeah a lot of meatus talk just like a lot a lot a lot of meatus talk a lot it almost sounds like you're saying migas which is a delicious breakfast well that's what they call it in canada um and and mikhail i mean things seem good with mikhail in the clips i don't know there's a lot of kevin kevin's anxiety and he's like i'm not just gonna get up and leave and she's like you have done that twice and then it shows him kind of getting nervous in front of the crew being like you know just just let him let her pick him and and whatever and i'll go on and i'll be fine like yeah there's it's it's gonna be fucking good and then they show both of them walking out in their

suits but you can't tell what time of day it is about the same time of day yeah we god i wish we could find a way to watch at night of i know it's just it's not meant to be possible well it's not like we'll run into a bunch of internet spoilers we're no i know but there's a lot of people who watch it in real time um yeah yeah anyway next week finale next week super excited it'll be up oh we gotta find a way to do it because thanksgiving otherwise it's thanksgiving and i don't i don't want to put up the finale on thanksgiving i don't think anybody wants to listen to that also i'm also putting up till death do us blart on thanksgiving we'll put it up we'll put it up the day after thanksgiving um or wednesday if we can do it people can listen to it while they're

black friday shopping yeah that might be fun no i think we i think we could do it wednesday i could get it up wednesday i could get it up wednesday night just like as soon as we record it like yeah immediately put it all shouldn't have to hear these programming notes but yeah we could do that we should also say so as as mentioned earlier i am 37 weeks pregnant yeah so this show could just fucking vanish you will of course hear from us if if the episode is late don't automatically assume that we have delivered a baby we love y'all very much and um we're gonna keep the we're gonna try and keep the feed updated um yeah we have some ideas we have some ideas for stuff that we want to do for filler

apps that are a little easier for us to do yeah um but we haven't we just ask you to be patient because i think this show more than like i've i've got stuff prepped for all the podcasts for for when the baby gets here this one's just going to be tough because we will actually have the baby in this house and it's just us yeah so uh yeah uh and also just this light i put down this blanket warning for all the podcasts this one's just going to get way less funny once we have the baby it's just like i don't think that's true it's gonna be just all all home improvement humor no no i i feel very strongly that men in particular use having a child as an excuse to dumb down their humor and make quote dad jokes and i am making a stand here

to say i will not allow dad jokes. Thanks for watching, everybody. I'm Griffin McElroy. I'm Rachel McElroy. When you're ready. It's Crazy Frog. You love to see, you love Crazy Frog. Final Rose, stay with us on this journey of joy.

Spoiler alert. She ends up with Soulja Boy. Right reasons, right reasons, can't figure out all four seasons.