Wonderful! - Episode 24: Ratbags and Pisskids

Episode Date: June 21, 2016

Let us sing the final stanza of the song of Chad, and be done with it. Who will fill the power vacuum left by Chad's bulky, protein-infused frame? The answer is, of course: All of them, in their own way. All the boys are Chad, now. MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the best rat and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. I'm not going to, that's not in the show. We're not going to start every episode like that.

In order to get to Griffin's microphone, he has to kind of saddle up. And I like to introduce myself. You like to razz me a little bit. Just a little razz attack. I like to introduce myself right when he's mid-saddle. I'm going to take it from the top. And action. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy.

Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is Rose Buddies. It's a podcast about The Bachelorette right now. Sometimes it's about The Bachelor. Sometimes it's about Bachelor in Paradise. Or it will be now. Sometimes it's about The Bachelor. Sometimes it's about Bachelor in Paradise or it will be someday. Sometimes it's about a bunch of trash in between. But it's always about our love. But it's always about our love.

It's a very masturbatory podcast where we talk about how in love we are and we're just like, deal with it, world. It's just us. We missed you guys last week. Missed you real bad. I was in E3 not watching reality television and i got the shakies from it the shakes and i hated it we did when you get back we watched are you the one literally like i dropped my bags and rachel was like shut up shut up i was like baby i love you i missed you and you were like shut your mouth and you turned on that you took you you served

up some ato for me which which is Are You the One? Season 4. And based on the first episode of Season 4 of ATO, I'm going to say, yes, you are. ATO Season 4. Yeah. Because the shit is hot so far. It's a good app. It's a good app.

I definitely recommend tuning back in to that one. It is the same night as Bachelorette. I think it is on immediately afterwards. So you could ostensibly extend your viewing parties by one hour it was the same time now 10 9 central really interesting yeah um anyway bachelorette was on this week let us sing the final stanza of the song of chad sir chad went home and he there was a bit of a teaser. And I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this because it kind of seemed like,

obviously Chad was like, I'm going to find and murder Alex. And by the way, they cut the cliffhanger of the last episode and made it seem like he went to the house where Alex and Jojo were hanging out, where he was going to act a real asshole. You're right, I forgot. When in all actuality, what really happens

is he goes back to uh the boy zone where the boys live and before he arrives though we get to see a nice little memorial service they have for chad yeah uh wells leads the service and they fuck this was good scatter his protein powder like ashes into the wind that shit had me rolling yeah sometimes those boys they do something that gets me genuinely they had james taylor on guitar too like it's not just like funny for bachelorette it's like the concept of somebody having a protein ashes burial at sea is like genuinely funny the good wells wells literally said farewell sweet prince as they threw his protein ashes i

like that wells which makes me 100 convinced he is not going to get much further in this show i know um little did those boys know that that uh chad could smell his protein being scattered to the wind being pecked at by owls who were getting like it really just created a sense so he could find his way back you know that shit's gotta like ward off like bears or something right bears hate protein i don't think that's true love berries honey honey neither of those have a lot of protein in them picnic baskets picnic baskets my wife my wife a yogi bear do you like that yes perfect that is the movie america's way my name a yogi bear my wife yogi bear i'm a justin timberlake uh whoa wait let's get turning to mario a little bit or perhaps wario what is justinberlake in there? He did the voice of Yogi Bear in the 3D Yogi Bear movie.

Oh my gosh, Griffin. I think, or he was Baby Bear, whoever the younger one is. Boo Boo? Doobie Bear. Hey, how was the bachelorette today? So Chad shows up, walks into the house, says, you know, JoJo seemed to hear from all the guys, you know, that there were issues. And I guess she thinks I'm too intense.

Never says the, never actually says the words out loud. I lost the two on one and I'm going home. Yeah. Like some, some dudes are like, what's up? And he's like, what's up? Back at them. And, and he kind of, he comes at it almost like he's ready to be reasonable. He's like, you know, I just, I felt backed into a corner, you know, and I just.

When you got 20 guys coming at you, it's like sometimes the only way you can respond is with physical violence. All right, dude. And so Jordan steps forward and says, hey, man, you know, I understand why you might feel that way, you know. And it seems like he's trying to kind of reason with him. And he's expecting that Chad might want to apologize for any behavior. And Chad does not want to do that. Chad is not there to apologize. Jordan does the thing where he's like shaking his hand.

He's like, I just want you to know that, like, if we did anything to, like, come at you or treat you in a way where you felt like you're being disrespected like i get how that can be and i'm sorry that you feel like squeezing my hand really hard is intimidating and then he like touches his face he touches jordan's face at a certain yeah chad like gets up in his biz again chad really wanted to get in a punch fight very very badly and i've reached a point now where it's just unequivocally no no matter how many delightful things he does most of which is off the air like get by the domain names of all the boys and have them

redirect to his Instagram page where he lets hashtags fly can I read the hashtags? so story broke today just now, hot bloid scoop which is appropriate because this is a very bloid heavy episode Chad Story broke today, just now. The hot Bloid scoop, which is appropriate because this is a very Bloid heavy episode. Chad posted an Instagram of himself and Robbie's ex-girlfriend in a canoodle pose.

Which is amazing. Like, that's bananas that you orchestrated that. Just like, hey, Robbie, what's up? Look at me. I got your old girl. This young woman's name is Hope Higginbotham of

New Hampshire Higginbotham Oh, delicious. Can I tell you something? As somebody with a last name that was often made fun of, I shudder to think... Like Hope Higginbotham? I shudder to think what you would have said about me.

I mean, you know. While you look for that, I will say that while this convo with Jordan and Chad is going on, Evan decides he's going to make one last pitch. Just one last, please let me just get in there real quick. He literally says, do you have your wallet on you? Because you still owe me a shirt. And Chad at this point, like, I'm, I, fuck Chad. For real, though.

He's a big, shitty idiot. But come on, dude. Like, Evan, I see, I see the petard that you are hoisting yourself on. It is not worth it. Big ups to the, who was it in the Rosebuddies? Somebody in the Rosebuddies group started a GoFundMe account for a dude to get. Oh, no, My phone just died. Oh, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

Do you want me to get my phone? Yeah. Babe. Where is it? I'll go get it. I mean, I know where it is. I'll go get it. Okay.

This is making up for last week when you spilled a drink on the floor and I had to clean it up for you. Oh, can't move on. All right. Let's turn to the Bloids. Bloid Talk with Griffin and Rachel, Us Magazine, or perhaps US Magazine. Bachelorette's Chad Johnson

kisses fellow contestant Robbie Hayes' ex-girlfriend in PDA pic. I guess they were both holding blackberries or something while they were smooching. Yes, he's definitely kissing this young woman who is apparently Robbie's ex-girlfriend, which is savage. Undeniably savage.

What's more savage is this crazy salvo of hashtags at the end of this picture, where he talks about how happy he was to meet Hope. He doesn't directly rub it in Robbie's face, but like, come on. Uh, tags her, Hope Alverda,

on Instagram, and then, hashtag, the bachelorette. I'm not gonna say hashtag every time, because there's 30. And then, hashtag the bachelorette. I'm not going to say hashtag every time because there's 30 of these fucking things. The bachelorette. The bachelor. The chadchiller.

Bachelor nation. Bachelor Monday. Bachelor Mondays. Reality TV. Reality show. Reality TV star. Reality TV shows. Reality shows.

Reality TV stars. Bravo TV. MTV. ABC. Joelle. Reality star. Reality stars. TV show. Hashtag follow. Hashtag follow me. shows reality tv stars bravo tv mtv abc joelle reality star reality stars tv show hashtag follow hashtag follow me hashtag love hashtag dating show hashtag love i'm pretty sure he repeated a couple of those yes maybe maybe not that's a lot of you're really casting a wide net there mr chad and i don't know who

you're like expecting to like draw in with that particular why did you tag bravo tv like bravo you're gonna love this shit dog my shit's not on your shit but you're gonna love it i bet anyway that's the chad chiller he's gone now he left the house without fighting anybody he did like a fucking well no because we gave ourselves physical fight points did we for well not this week okay yeah wait okay yes in this i'm in this instant on this night he didn't fight anybody despite the fact that once again those those producers and editors at the bachelor made it seem like he was gonna fucking kill everybody in the house no all he did was go in and he shook somebody's hand really hard. And then he said, I'm out.

Cool, dude. Chad, I got the impression that Chad is just kind of a dumb-dumb. And like, he kept trying to do shit, but then he would start trying to do shit and then realize he had no end game for the shit he was trying to do. Well, what was interesting,

so when he's trying to explain himself to the boys and say, you know, listen, like when guys come at me like that, you know, I just, the only thing I can think to do is get physical. And at that point, I just wanted to be like, Chad, what happened to you? What did happen? I mean, other than the fact that, like, you spent your whole life getting big to fight people, and then you get very angry and no one wants to fight you.

Like, is it just, is it steroids? Or did something happen to Chad? You know, like, what was Chadad's dad like there's a lot we don't know chad's dad was a nerd that bullied him he like was like playing dnd all the time and chad would be like papa canad's dad was a boner doctor named dr boner he loved two things bullying his son and warhammer 40 000 tabletop strategic rpg games this is a rich fiction you've created it's a lot i mean you wanted to know the dude's backstory no i did all right so when chad's dad invented cyber bullying and he would

cyber bully his son on his ti 8000 calculator every day we pop it out to like do some algebra homework and his dad will have left him a little game in there and he plays he solves the maze that his dad made in his calculator and he gets the end he's like fucking jock dummy ha ha ha love dad he's like i'm never doing math again i'm only gonna get strong and try to fight people all the time all right p chad rip chad we'll see you on bachelor in paradise i can't fucking believe that uh what if he has a full-blown turnaround full-blown conversion he won't it'll be he'll get treated exactly the same way that cailon got treated which is that he'll get iced out of any lady ever picking there was one woman that was into cailon and then cailon shut it shut her out and then nobody would go on a date with cailon and so he went on a fucking date with himself

i remember this i i just i don't see chad faring well on on the bip i hope they eat him alive here's what sucks though is he's got a he's got an amazing body that his nerd dad like made sure like he he had like a super great bod and so like there could be somebody there who's like well who who likes just a little bit abusive assholes well yes but who also wants to just have a little bit of just fun you know fun in the sun maybe somebody who wants a fitness routine yeah

no Chad can't do that with anybody else Chad will have Chad will allow somebody to hang on to his ankles while he pulls himself up onto things anyway rip Chad anyway so Alex gets back from his date with jojo and the men literally lift him on their shoulders they present him a sheet of cupcakes it was like the wedding scene in fiddler on the roof like they were dancing in circles

around him in a choreographed number they chanted slayer of the dragon and lit a roman candle in the indoors which is not cool in the bachelor at hangout spot which was like a resort in pennsylvania don't light a fucking roman candle indoor you boys you can't do that there you're in a hotel you can't light a roman candle indoors you can do that at your own house if you want to burn it down, but you're at a nice resort. In, uh, what was it called? Nima? Nima colon PA. Nima colon PA. Maybe the rules are different out there.

We don't know. They're more free. That's for certain. So then we go into the cocktail party. And this is kind of a weird assortment of activities that happen a lot of stuff goes down and i want to talk about this because i feel like it defines the tone of the rest of this episode and potentially the rest of this season of the bachelor in that chad left a kind of power vacuum

he turned it he split chad split himself up into seven horcruxes that were then imbued inside of the boys. Because all the boys that were left, I made the point that there were almost 30 boys when this thing started. And everybody was just hands down focused on what a shithead Chad was. And that's fair. He's a big shitty idiot. But statistically, a lot of those other boys are also going to be shitty idiots. a lot of those other boys are also going to be shitty idiots. And now, like, there was a conversation that I think, like,

Evan and Derek and a couple other people were having, which is, like, everybody's looking for a new Chad, and then Evan proposed maybe there would be mini small Chads. Yeah, mini Chads. Mini Chads, which is, like, kind of accurate because this episode sort of made everyone we watched with realize that the only people left are either complete fucking ratbags or just absolute piss kids. Explain to me the difference between ratbags and piss kids. There were, um, alright right to put names on them uh alex got very hostile this episode uh not in the way that chad did um but just got really upset about the things that some people

were doing uh with no provocation whatsoever at least no provocation that made it in the edit of the television show the bachelorette that we all watch every week on ABC. Well, and this does intensify in the second round. Yes. But this time we do get hints that there is some hostility. There's some hostility. There's hostility towards Jordan because we'll talk about this in a second. Jordan gets the first solo date.

And as soon as he gets it and walks off and everybody's like, well, he many roses he's such a front runner he's not here for the right reasons he's like whoa where did that last thing come from because you definitely just pull it directly out of your ass hole like we can talk about that shit now because we've got the benefit of the on our side but that's like you're making that up out of whole cloth based on the fact that I do got a date that you did not get I mean I think chad was so clearly evil and they all could agree that he was a villain they didn't pay much attention to anybody else's you know minor flaws or or you know well that's because that's harder to do the good thing about a villain i mean it may let's talk about realistically you're on a tv show and there's a guy that you have to be around

fucking all the time that you think it's an asshole and potentially a dangerous asshole that's real it's really easy for you to talk about like this guy sucks right everybody right everybody right everybody okay everybody agrees this guy sucks that's easy what's hard is when you don't have that to define your narrative anymore none of these people have like an obvious guy named chad and chad was right they were talking about him a lot because it was easy like they have to fill some fucking screen time and i will say the producers didn't have a chad anymore and so my what i am thinking and this is not a genius insight but the producers realized chad was going to self-destruct and started working on a plan b before chad even left right and started to kind of sow the seeds of hey alex what do you think of jordan like you think hey

alex what do you think of uh was derrick the one they all were against derrick too everybody's really against derrick for like the dumbest reason we'll get into that but then later in the episode derrick like calls out like this weird group meeting where he's like I just feel like it's like a high school clique with you guys and it's like Derek who gives a fuck I feel like you guys don't want to hang out with me as much as you want to hang out with each other Derek there's some puppet strings there or fucking Evan

who like gets mad at somebody for going to talk to Jojo because he doesn't he's waiting for Jojo to come talk to him no you're being kind of a piss kid right now get in there and mix it up. I'm picturing a war room with however many producers all standing around. Chad's name has a big line through it. And they've all got the rest of the names up on the board.

And it's like, okay, what do we got with Alex? We got anything with Alex? All right, what about Evan? Okay, all right. So you're going to come at Evan from these sides, and then you're going to go at Alex from here, and then eventually we will build. Yeah. No, definitely.

That's all going on. I'm saying there's also, on the other side of the room, two bulletin boards. One of them says rat bags. One of them says piss kids. And the dividing lines are very, very clear. So rat bags are guys that are just at their core douchebags. Not great guys, maybe. And piss kids. are guys that are just at their core douchebags. Not great guys, maybe. Or guys that exhibit not great tendencies

vis-a-vis romancing and dating and loving JoJo. And piss kids are just kind of whiny, insecure men. Just dudes who aren't there to fucking play the game of Bachelor. I almost said Survivor. The dudes who are not there to play Survivor? What are you even doing? No. I think that's a fair characterization.

What worries me is, like, I feel like people who I genuinely like. Wells doesn't fit in either. I still like Wells a whole lot. You know. My boy Jordan maybe slipped up a little bit in my mind. This has all been a fucking long-form preview for this episode of Rose Buddies. Anyway, let's get back in. So there's a rose ceremony

so who gets a rose um so at this point alex already has a rose from the two-on-one right as as does and jordan has a first impression rose or not a first impression but a group date group date rose um and so who gets luke has one too right luke has one from a solo date. So who gets roses? So it's Derek, Robbie, Chase, Wells, Grant, Vinny, James, Taylor, and Evan. That means Daniel and James F. are going home. Sad. James F. wrote a poem. And let's just get a Rachel McElroy poem expert poem review.

Just break off some of that good, like good good james f is a boxing club owner right um so i don't know his experience with writing poems um for a first effort maybe not terrible yeah sure but i i don't think that was the best way for him to express his feelings for her what would have been boxing or not even boxing, but managing a place where boxers come to get totally fucking sick at their craft? Maybe just some gentle sparring? That could be fun and flirty. Yeah, I don't know. What if he'd just beaten the ever-loving shit out of Chad?

Oh, I mean, that's how alex got got through that two-on-one that's a good point uh daniel uh goes out in a blaze of glory god daniel you're damn daniel you did it so good son he does a few things first he he seems kind of kind of insecure and says well i, he's confident in his looks. So he's like, it must be based on personality and so my personality must be shit. And you're like, oh. No, he doesn't say my personality must be shit.

He says, definitively, because my personality is shit. And it's like, Daniel, you're not a hundo percent wrong. And then he starts to say, none of these guys here are on my level no one's on my level and then all of a sudden you see like oh he's making a play for like a like a oh i i am conceited and and maybe you want to see more of you cannot establish that narrative

sir at not even six minutes to midnight it It's 1201. You're going home. Yeah. You can't. And then he's, but then he says something amazing about like the odds of me ending up with a girl like Jojo is like getting struck by lightning while. Shaving your face or something. And that was real time.

Shaving your face or something. Yeah. So RIP Daniel. RIP Daniel. I'll be curious to see if he ends up on Bachelor in Paradise as well. I don't know that he has the natural charisma. Also, he's definitely

the Zodiac killer. Yeah. Yeah, no. The Zodiac project was a collabo between him and old teddy cruz defo like sorry daniel i'm not gonna forget so easily your weird fuck story about cutting the girl's hair while you had her tied up yeah you you psychopath you john wayne gacy motherfucker what a season that that was kind of brushed away as if it were nothing what chad did up there was bad what daniel did up there is admissible in court yeah for the many killings the chicagoland murders i hope there's a team of investigators that were watching

that episode and they're rewinding the tape over and over again to figure out if they can link him to anything some grizzled la detective just like a day before retirement just like downing a bottle of scotch in his lonely apartment his wife and kids have left him many many years back uh and he's just not taking good care of himself he's just kind of sort of coast into an early grave and then he turns on the tv the tv to see what's going on and he makes the breakthrough he's always been wanting. It damned him. Wait, did that ratbag just say he cuts hair? Damn, Daniel.

It was you the whole time. Who are you? It was also CSI. Okay. The remaining gentlemen find out they are leaving the beautiful state of Pennsylvania. For the state of Uruguay. And they are going to Uruguay. I never know how to say that.

I say it how they said it on the Carmen Sandiego show, which is like the only time I ever heard Uruguay discussed under any... Uruguay. Uruguay. I always want to say Uruguay. I think because I definitely remember Rock and Pauly being like, Uruguay! Okay. Uruguay. I always want to say Uruguay. I think because I definitely remember Rock and Pauly being like, Uruguay! Okay. Uruguay. This speaks to both of our educations.

The warrant! Everything I learned about geography, literally everything I learned about geography was all Carmen Sandiego. I would do a Carmen Sandiego The Game Show podcast because that show was on fire. Because sometimes, like, in the end when they had to plant the different like beacons on the different countries where they would shout out and there's like a big map on the floor and then like all of the countries would be in africa and you just be like bye kid you're not winning this one because those countries are mad small nobody could and then like a kid would actually do it and you're like holy shit look at this

road scholar genius boy one year griffin and I did a tribute to children's television, and I was Carmen Sandiego, and he was a contestant from Legends of the Hidden Temple. I was a Blue Barracuda. I bought a special Blue Barracuda shirt online. Nobody knows who either of us were. People thought I was Dick Tracy. Which is fucking infuriating.

Dick Tracy, known for his red hat and coat. People thought I was Lance Armstrong, because I was wearing a bicycle helmet. I wanted every single one of them. I just went, oh, yeah, sure, Lance Armstrong. He wears two fish on his shirt, you idiot. Eleven guys left. We get a nice moment of them all walking down a boardwalk and just kind of singing JoJo's name and exclaiming about how excited they are to be out and about in this lovely country.

It looked nice. What a nice country. Then we find out Jordan is getting a one-on-one date. Which pisses everybody off. Yeah. And so then we get like kind of an interspersed date with jordan not a lot of time on this date because i think the producers are pretty confident that us as the audience know jordan jordan's gonna win the fucking season but here's the thing like

yes like they were on a boat and she was like tousling his hair and like they're both in swimsuits swimsuits just like kissing and playing with his hair and it's like oh okay he's then he is the one who will win the thing they're looking at seals they put on wetsuits uh meanwhile we cut back to vinny and vinny's wearing a fedora yes and he's been doing some investigative work so he got he found the warrant! He is cutting the dude's hair and passing around an InTouch magazine. And the InTouch magazine has an exclusive interview with old Chad, that's JoJo's ex, that we find out about in Ben's season.

Yeah, in Ben's season, he was the one who left her flowers on the hometown date, like right before Ben got there, and upset JoJo a whole lot. And the magazine says, via old Chad, that Chad claims JoJo was never interested in Ben, immediately started dating Chad again when she got home. Was dating Chad during Ben's season is what he claimed. Yeah, and then only broke up with him to go on the show

and didn't really care about finding love. And the guys are all passing this magazine around and speculating as to whether or not this is true. This was the most meta, like this show has gotten about addressing the Bloids, right? Yeah, I mean, how did he get that Bloid in? I feel like the narrative that was going around our group is like, well, he's cutting everyone's hair.

And it's like, are you suggesting that anytime somebody is cutting anybody else's hair, magazines just fucking appear? Have you ever been in a haircut scenario where there weren't magazines yes yes you used to cut my hair in like the backyard of our house you remember magazines wouldn't just fall from the fucking sky like kati with a chance of meatballs um do you think i mean do you think that a producer slipped it to him? Maybe. It happened on that show. It happened on that show.

Unreal. It happened on Unreal. I don't know why it couldn't happen here. By the way, how's season two? We haven't watched it yet. We are not lifetime subscribers. Yeah, don't tell us, though, because we don't want to know. I heard it's hot.

I heard it's good. I mean, I'm sure it is, but I don't want to know. Yeah, so the boys are getting a little yeah they're all nervous nobody's getting like really upset nobody's like jojo you broke my heart but they're seriously considering it as if it's like a reputable new source i mean it's in touch they're one of the better boys um so then jojo continues her date with jordan they have dinner uh she confronts him about yeah an ex this that she has talked to this was weird and bad and honestly where a little bit of the shine came off the old jordan apple yeah jordan jordan immediately gets defensive oh i

don't even know. First of all, okay, we need to address this, too. It came out in the Bloids. We're going to be talking about the Bloids a lot this episode. It's just how we're going to do it. It's the Bloid episode, yeah. That JoJo was saying that she knew Jordan was going to be on the show. Like, when he got out of that limo, she knew he was going to be coming out of that limo because it started to make the Bloids that Jordan Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers' little brother,

is going to be on this season of bachelorette so jojo knew before they started shooting that jordan was going to be there but she did an interview she was like i don't really follow football so like it didn't get him any like bonus points or whatever i think jordan's ex confronted her because jordan's ex is in dallas right that is the thing in that boy interview judge you didn't say oh and by the way i met one of his exes and we talked about Jordan. Because, like, that goes a bit above and beyond. Beyond just like, oh, I saw it breaking the news that Aaron Rodgers' little brother is going to be here. And so when he came out of the limo, I wasn't surprised.

To, I fucking vetted him? That's a little, that's like. I think she was confronted. They both were in the Dallas area. I think the girl saw her at an event and was like, hey, just so you know, I went out with Jordan. He's not what he says he is. But how, I don't know what the gap of time is

between people knowing that Jordan Rogers was going to be on the show and the show beginning production and Georgia not being able to have that conversation. I don't know. I don't know how it went down, but that's like, that's a lot. That's a lot more than you usually, than anybody gets with any of like the contestants on these shows.

I mean, true. To not only know that somebody is going to be on the show ahead of time, but also. But a lot of times they get a phone call mid-season. Sure. Right? Yes. Okay. So this conversation is kind of gross.

Jordan starts to like blame sports. And he's like, you know you know this this woman was on the roller coaster of my best and worst moments and i and i just was really trying to be successful and and jojo's like oh well did you cheat on her he's like no no i no i no i didn't um but he clearly is on edge yeah he's very kind of hostile's like, I don't even know what to say. I don't even know what to say about this. She was like, I wish I could know what you're thinking. He's like, I'm really not thinking anything.

And he talks a little bit about trust issues. And then starts talking about his pastor, and then says this is the only person he's ever said I love you to. And JoJo says, oh, well, you said that you're falling in love with me. I'm worried you're going to pull away. Jordan's like, no, no, no. I'm blown away by you. But the conversation feels weird.

It feels weird. And it's hard to put it into words that makes it feel weird, except for the fact that at the end of it, it felt like JoJo was apologizing for asking about an ex. She's like, I feel like you're mad at me. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. But he's like withholding in a way that suggests like, this is not a cool conversation that we're having and i do not feel guilty as much as i feel frustrated that this woman said this conversation is fucking happening in the first place yeah uh but their conversation ends and then they go out into the world and they're dancing in a public square and they're kissing and and everything seems yeah just makes it seem

like well now that that's out of the way i can get married yeah uh and so that's i mean so that's that um we know there's a group date coming up that has luke derrick chase evan james vinnie grant wells and alex and uh she gets back from her date with jordan and a producer gives her the magazine that they've all been looking at and sure when they hand it to her she looks at the cover and says this has nothing to do with me yeah because the duggers are on the front and i fucking love that like i love that she's like what did you think like you got to read this sick-ass article about the Duggars. She immediately gets very, very upset. Says that Chad, past Chad, every Chad is, like, emotionally abusive. She's like, he does this to me.

He can't just let anyone be happy. Yeah. She's like, I really appreciate my season with Ben because I know now I don't deserve people like that. my season with ben because i know now i don't deserve people like that uh chad alpha chad prior chad first chad definitely also sounds like a total rat bag oh yeah and it seems like not that this is like excuse like i would totally get upset in this situation too but if your ex-boyfriend is a rat bag that has also kind of been on the show before you gotta you gotta kind of know that he's gonna hit those boys up or the boys are gonna hit him up and that's the thing exes are always talking to the bloids about whoever the bachelor bachelorette is this is not an unusual

she's seen she's seen on set and i get that she also seemed kind of surprised by it and it was like you can't be chad's chad's a rat bag you gotta fucking see that that train coming at you and have your pr team get ahead of it so she immediately goes to the room where the guys are staying and tearfully explains to them that you know she's not faking this that she is here for the right reasons um and she's very upset and the guys all believe her um yeah and that's pretty much the end of it and that's the end of it um this was the big tearful thing we got teased in the preview of like oh she gets really upset what happened something

must happen because i hate i hate him yeah uh they tried to make it seem like it was jordan yeah this this is the the trailer editing this season has been abhorrent because it showed like the three clips out of sequence were were alex saying something shitty about jordan because he had the audacity to get the one-on-one date jordan saying oops because he takes jojo and kisses her near where all the other boys are and he's like i guess i was too close to them oops and then it shows jojo crying and saying i hate him talking about alpha chad those three things happened fucking completely out of order a half hour away from each other And then it shows Jojo crying and saying, I hate him, talking about Alpha Chad. Those three things happened fucking completely out of order a half hour away from each other.

And yet the trailer editors were like, we're going to make it seem like Jordan breaks her heart, says oops like a shithead, and she says that she hates him. um so before the group date we get this nice moment of the guys all sitting around in face masks and cucumber getting manicures just talking shop about the show and like these little touches could go without mention on the podcast but i just like to throw them in they're so they're so rare they're very rare. You get one every few episodes. I feel like we've gotten a lot this season. I really like the boys this season. They're a real cohesive group.

They're nice. The little gags that they do during the credits, they're all pretty good. This one showed Luke wearing a tank top that his nipple kept popping out of. And Derek was making fun of his nipple coming out. And Luke was really drunk and trying to talk about the show. And it was fun. It was funny. It seemed like they were having a fun time.

Right after this cucumber face mask moment, we cut to JoJo in the desert. And all the guys on the group date yelling her name and then running up a sand hill towards her that's another thing about these boys i feel like a lot of them are really enthusiastic about jojo to the point where anytime they're in a big group together they just yell jojo's name and run towards her it's kind of wonderful i mean they're all ratbacks and piss kids but like they're all so enthusiastic it's like it's like they know what they signed up for, and it is a summer love camp. Yeah. And they are ready for summer love. I feel like, I don't want to be sexist.

I feel like that happens more on The Bachelorette with a big group of boys than it does in The Bachelor with a big group of women. Do you think that's fair to say? I think that is fair to say, but I think fair to say but i think it's it's a larger conversation about how men and women bond yes because the flip side of that are the friendships that come out of the big groups of women are so fucking pure and beautiful and i think last forever last forever carly and jade carly and jade are going to be the best friends forever they're going to die of old age hand in hand like the notebook yeah and they'll be like i had a wonderful time yeah and they'll go to heaven together and be roommates in heaven

that's how beautiful you're not gonna get that from the boys yeah the dudes aren't gonna talk to each other after the men tell all no but they're gonna have a good time in the house uh so the guys in the group date are going sand surfing. Um, dune blasting, as I call it. There's a lot of stunts on these. They're like surfboards and they go down a sand hill and there's a lot of, of falls. Wells is fucking carving it up,

doing backflip. Alex does the backflip. Alex does the backflip. Alex is doing like sand stunts. Like he's the fucking Keith Sattarach, like just like ripping it up in there and carving it. The who? The Keatsat's Hatterock. What is that you're saying?

Fear is the Mindkiller. And what is that? Don't worry about it. That's a reference to a video game? A Dune. Oh. Dune. By Frank Herbert. Okay. It's about a sand planet. that is where spice comes from everybody wants the spice my problem is a bunch of sand worms there they're pretty dangerous

you know this reminds me the other day i realized griffin has never seen the movie tremors no but i have seen two different versions of Dune. So, I don't know. The group date, it starts raining. It gets cut short, which seems like a bummer for the boys because it seems like they just kind of carve it up for like five minutes and then that's it. Yeah, so what happens? The group date.

Oh, wonderful thing happens while they're at the top looking down about to start surfing down evan looks down he says my nose is definitely gonna bleed again yeah he knows himself which i like about him uh so this is when the guys start to turn on each other again um derrick pulls jojo aside and talks about how he gets jealous on these group dates and how it's hard for him and he feels a little insecure. Derek went on the first date, went on the first one-on-one, the shitty, shitty choose-your-own-adventure date. Yeah. Alex starts to tell us how annoyed he is about this time that Derek is having.

And then gets even more annoyed when jojo says um you know i i want to reassure somebody who i think could need need some reassurance so i'm going to give this rose to derrick so the story changes because alex before the rose gets handed out says like i don't like this derrick kid he's not who he is around jojo who how he is around the rest of us. And I think he's a real piece of shit. It's like, what the, where the, is this coming from? This is coming from nowhere. Derek has shown no, like, crappy

tendencies whatsoever. And Alex is just like, this guy sucks. Like, talking about him the same way they would talk about Chad. And then, so when Jojo gives Derek the rose, and he's like, I just want to give this to somebody to, like, reassure them. Anyway, Derek will accept this rose. And he's like, I just want to give this to somebody to, like, reassure them. Anyway, Derek will accept this rose. And he's like, yeah, I hate that Derek guy, because he always needs reassurance.

Alex literally says he's, quote, an insecure little bitch. Like, whoa, dog. Hey, you big bag of rats. Where did that come from? You see, he's like a combination of a pissed kid and a rat bag. He's little bit of both isn't he right he's a piss rat he's a kid bag he's being a real bag of kids is what he's doing alex really soured for me yeah well honestly he was kind of we knew he was trouble i mean i knew he wanted to mix it up with chad but i didn't know that he wanted to just mix it up with anybody who did it was successful at all in front of him uh so robbie gets a one-on-one date sweet robbie and sorry

sorry about your ex getting swooped up by the jad And so we cut to Jojo out in the sand again. She's around some kind of hand statue. There's like fingers coming out of the sand. And there's a dog. She's real excited about the dog. More excited about the dog than I think she has been for any of the boys so far. And then Robbie comes out and they play like a little hide and seek around the fingers. And then Robbie's like, stop it!

You're making a fool out of me. They get in a car and then they experience local culture. They're looking at hats. They're going to a food cart. Eating a big old, looked like a torta of some sort. Looked delicious. And then I don't know they go to dinner and robbie decides i am going to tell jojo that i'm in love with her i know that i'm in love with her

and i'm going to tell her he um he tells a story about his friend who died uh yeah and it's a really it's like a tragic very very sad story and like i really don't i don't no tea no shade no pink lemonade but like i can't divorce the strategic timing of when you tell the bachelor or bachelorette that you love them from the fact that it is strategic you know what i mean like that is a chip you leverage once leverage it good and it's gonna work out for you leverage it too soon you'll freak them out they'll run away do it too late you might not get a chance so it is a calculated thing to do it and to like add to like include that as a part of like this very very sad story about your friend who died and like inspired you to change your life and everything like that's that's cool and that's

great and like i feel like we've all been through a sea change like that in our life it just like it's very hard for me to divorce that fact from like yeah you like setting up you telling a telling the bachelor bachelorette that you love them because now is the time to do unless it's real unless it's real robbie in which case like chase your bliss do it it was a it was a genuinely touching story it's just like you know what i mean yeah no it was an interesting moment because when he he tells us the viewer that he's going to tell jojo he's in love with her griffin and i look at each other and we're like this is way too soon there are 11 guys left what are you doing there's no reason to tell her now. It's too early. You're going to

freak her out. And then he starts saying, you know, and since my friend passed unexpectedly, you know, I don't want to wait. He's like, as soon as it happened, you know, I quit my job. I left my girlfriend. i moved cities like it became important to me to only do and say things that were meaningful and so then i was like well okay i get i get your reasoning i just i don't understand still how you could be there already i guess yeah this is their first solo date this is your first date dog essentially um yeah it was a bit it was a bit weird i like robbie all right i do it works she gives him the rose you know it doesn't freak her out she's on board yeah uh and so there's a cocktail party no there isn't but there isn't a cocktail oh you fucking twisted it on us babe you really got me going there

what is what a little fun little prank you did on me there's supposed to be a cocktail party chris harrison tells us she doesn't need one uh which is a big bummer for folks like uh grant for folks like uh evan he says three guys are going home and we pretty much immediately know who those guys are we're worried one of them is going to be wells but ultimately the guys that go home are vinnie grant and evan the bummer thing was we lost chad uh our team up to this point uh for a long time from the beginning right we haven't lost anybody it was luke jordan and chad and i'm convinced that you could not have a better team up to the point where chad left the show like oh my god these boys got so many points um but then chad left and the only people we had to pick uh who were not on two teams

were vinnie grant so we picked grant and grant for the entire time that he was on our team. Uh, all whatever, like 75 minutes. Yeah. Uh, got us a net total of negative 10 points. Thank you very much.

Grant couldn't even sneak a kiss in there or two to balance out your, Nope. Okay. Before the guys go home, uh, Derek, who knows he's been the subject of some, some whispers, uh, confront some of the guys on this

what he calls a high school click um he doesn't confront them on like you were talking shit about me because i said i was feeling uncomfortable about this situation and then she gave me a rose's reassurance that's a crazy thing for you to like make fun of me about stop it that would be fine the what he verbalized and vocalized was i feel like you guys only hang out with each other you're like a high school clique we used to be such good friends what happened and it like as soon as the everybody walked in for the for the cocktail party where they will be very very nervous like he did this thing and everybody's like what are you talking about this is a non-issue yeah and then jordan

jordan comes out aggressive again because when they get back from their little powwow luke is on the couch and he says you know what just happened can you summarize what just happened and jordan's like uh i guess some of you guys, maybe, you know, we've been excluding you. So, you know, any of you guys, please tell me now if you feel like you've been excluded.

And everybody's just silent. Wells is like, well, I guess there's some valor in him speaking his mind, but no, that's a dumb thing to think about. Uh, and so,

yeah. And so Luke, Chase, Alex, James, Wells, and of course, Jordan and Robbie, yeah, and so Luke, Chase, Alex, James, Wells, and of course, Jordan and Robbie, uh, are staying.

That's the hateful eight we got. Um, and Vinny, after a very tearful exit, Grant and Evan leave. Uh, so that's it. That's it for, we lost a lot of guys this episode. Well, just, I mean, Chad and Grant. Seven. A lot.

Oh, you're saying we as in just the viewers. The viewers. Yeah. Um, we're down to just eight people now. If you're playing at home, you're probably at,

we hit the point now where we have to, everybody drops down to two because there is nobody left to redraft for us. So the way we're doing that, um, is everybody's going to pick one of their three to get rid of. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody just picks one to get rid of. We used to do, you would drop down to one and then redraft back up to two in order of lowest points,

but we only did that because this was the point where you could have a contestant on two teams before it would just be on one team. I really like the way we're doing it so much better this season. The scores are a lot closer. I mean, we're still annihilating with our Jordan, Chad, Luke combo. We also got a preview. We got a teaser for the rest of the season. And like it is every season,

it seems like there's going to be a tumultuous finale. Yeah, they made it look like jojo pulls a ben and sends somebody home that she's in love with and this um again i know i don't trust these trailers as far as i can throw them anymore because they're absolutely proven to be absolute poppycock every time uh but yes take that for what you will. Anything else of note really happen in that teaser? Can't really think of anything. No, I can't think of anything either.

It just says something like, you have to understand because the actions that you've taken, I cannot accept this love. So like. Yeah. It's harsh. Sounds harsh. Whatever it is. I mean, we get the suggestion that there's more trouble on the way with people like Robbie and Jordan. Jordan definitely catches some flack, like he's not here for the right reasons. And I hate guys like that. He's only here to further his career.

And I'm like, which one? He's like, what does he do? I mean, somebody in the Rosebuddies group found his clip in Pitch Perfect 2. Okay. So Clay Matthews was in Pitch Perfect 2. I don't think he's got a promising film career in front of him. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like frontrunners.

Jordan. Jordan Luke. Luke. Anybody else you feel confident about? Maybe Robbie? Maybe Robbie. Maybe James T? I don't think James T.

He was in the teaser a lot. He was in the trailer a lot. I know, but I don't think. I think she likes him. I think he's a good guy. I don't think there's passion there at all. That's fair. Robbie, maybe.

She talks about how Robbie makes her feel sexy. It's like, Robbie? You know, we haven't talked about Chase a lot. Chase is in there. He seems like a nice dude. I just don't. We were excited that Wells is sticking around, but unless he makes a big play. I know.

I like Wells a lot. I just don't. Yeah. Doesn't seem like her type. He seems like my type. I know. I like this season a lot, though, still. I hope it keeps, I hope it stays fresh even after Chad is gone.

Because we talked about, like, once Chad's gone, this show's going to get mad boring. Yeah, I know. And if they try to fill the gap with just, like, any other, like, any rando dude. It's going to be like Ben's seasons again, where they're like, where there was that, trying to find a villain. Where there's that woman who like, lied about, uh, Lauren B.

Yeah. Like on the, on the pig, water pig date. She would like lie like, oh, Lauren B was talking shit about you. Um,

and then when they confronted her, she was like, no, you got, you got me. Um, yeah, there's going to be probably a lot of that,

but so far, great season. Great season. It makes me excited that this is maybe the first season a lot of people are watching all the way through or if the last season too this is good like two season two good season streak because gang there's bad season out seasons out there and we're gonna get to them someday we're also coming up quick on bachelor in Paradise. Oh my gosh. That is what is so sweet about Bachelor in Paradise is it starts right after. It's like a fucking cool sangria. There's no break.

You're just all of a sudden, you're out in the sand, just sipping cocktails, watching a bunch of crazy cast offs. It just gets nasty. How many episodes do we have? Like four? Eight people. Get down to eight. Get down to six we have? Like four? Eight people. Get down to eight, get down to six,

get down to four, three, one, three, four, three, two, one,

maybe five. Yeah, unless they go one at a time from here on out. So Bip will be like late summer and it's going to treat you. It's August. It comes out in August.

It's going to treat you just right. I guarantee it. Ato, didn't watch it today. We'll catch you up maybe with a new scoop next week. Just do like I guarantee it. Ato, didn't watch it today. We'll catch you up maybe with a new scoop next week. Just do like the week previous. Just talk about what's good.

Anybody you like on Ato? Yeah, I don't know the names yet. Yeah, I don't know their names yet. They had a pretty successful first week, though. Yeah, four matches, three matches. I think it was three matches. I thought it was four. I think it was three matches on week one, which is like stellar. good anyway love tv tv thank you thank you tv let's just do the

quick run out thank you tv thank you abc thank you mtv thank you the whole viacom family chris harrison chris harrison thank you um thank you rose buddies fans thank you rose buddies fans rose nation you light up our lives light up our lives. We spend the whole episode, while Rachel spends it taking notes, I spend it drinking lots of wine. I'm drinking for three. Now, do you miss wine during the bachelor? Rachel is pregnant with our son. I don't think we've announced before that it's a boy. Oh, it is a boy.

You can't drink wine anymore apparently according to the doctors you miss it during batch a little bit do you miss it more during batch than the rest of the your life yes yeah it's kind of a fun like i do you remember when abc we had like a tgif week we're in tv guy they gave out 3d glasses that you had to wear and then like Urkel would come into your TV that week? I mean, I remember TGIF. I do not remember the 3D. There was a week where like step by step and Family Matters

it was like the golden era. They handed out 3D glasses in TV Guide and like a little like tear out ad for this week of TGIF and it'd be like tune in this Friday. Shit's about to pop off in 3D. Anyway, what I'm saying is wine is that for the bachelor and it's like to really get the full experience to have urkel jump out of your television drink this whole bottle of wine i love when you remember stuff like that because i have to imagine that when they came up with that

gimmick writers were sitting around in a room saying you know what the kids of today are going to be talking about this for decades. On their Bachelor podcasts. And everybody like me in the room was like, oh, come on. That's ridiculous. There's no way people are going to be talking about this 20 years from now. Turns out. Sounds like in this relationship, I'm the piss kid. You're the rat bag.

Whoa. Just saying. That's not flattering for either of us. No, definitely not. But fair. I'm just saying. I'm coming in all nubile and innocent. Fresh little TGIF doe eyes.

And you're like, you're a real dummy, Griffin. I'm what killed TGIF. You killed TGIF. You're the reason why it's fucking Shark Tank now. That's technically TGIF programming. It's just two episodes of Shark Tank. It's a bunch of rich guys being like, I don't know, I don't want to eat donuts in my pajamas.

And meanwhile, I'm like, where's Clarissa? Not Clarissa, the teenage witch. Sabrina was her name on that show. Where was she where's Skip who I think was one of the people on Step by Step you know where Melissa Joan Hart is she is with Joey Lawrence

I guess you're stuck with me the theme song of Melissa and Joey as performed by Bob Dylan um what was your favorite episode of step by step i didn't really watch that one because there were several episodes where the big boy son and patrick duffy would just like get in a big fight with a lot of men

there's one episode where they're in a i think in a pool hall and they just like fought a bunch of guys and it was like what the fuck's going on step by step you can't have these crazy like 10 minute long they live like drag out knock down fighting scenes maybe that show was very influential to chad and that's why he is the way he is today he watched too much step by step yeah should have watched more full house i don't know if you think there was an episode of Full House where like Danny and Jesse and Joey just like went back to back

against the street gang. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for watching Step by Step. We are working on getting a P.O. Box. Oh yeah, we'll have it next week

if you want to. The other boys have those for the other podcasts. Griffin was dead set against it until we started Rose Buddies. And people started offering to send that stuff. Well, and I think our Rose Buddies fans offer just a special kind of value add. Yeah. And we can't wait to see. One rule, please do not send or subscribe this po box to magazines

there are like we have three subscriptions to the same fucking horse magazine from a bim bam so like every time justin goes in and pick it up it's like no joke 36 issues of magazines the same magazine please do not do that to us not even as a joke because we said not to unless if you want to send us copies that you finish reading of Bloids related. If you want to finish the Bloids that you finished, that's fine. To the Bachelor and Bachelorette. I would not complain about that. Anyway, we've been filling time for about seven minutes now.

Yeah, I don't know why. You started it. I'm so happy to do this show with you. It's the highlight of my week. Thank you, sweetie. And thank you for listening to this podcast. We'll see you guys next week with a hot new episode. Until then, I'm Griffin McElroy.

I'm Rachel McElroy. When you're ready. Final Rose. Stay with us on this journey of joy. Spoiler alert. She ends up with Soulja Boy. Right reasons. Right reasons.

We've been going all for seasons.