Wonderful! - Roze Buddiez: Please Marry My Boy

Episode Date: May 3, 2016

This week, we watched a show that is literally titled Please Marry My Boy. It made us laugh harder than maybe any show in the history of television ever has? We hope we can pass some of that good, good energy along to you, our listeners. MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the Bachelorette and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love, one man's love. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is Rose Buddies.

I'm in a good mood. You want to say why got a kitty got a kid got a sweet little prince man on our lap he's getting belly rubs as a reward because there's a new bird nest outside and he hasn't killed the little babies in it yeah we have had baby birds since this weekend and they are still alive and cecil's the most violent animal ever he has it ate them all up with little bird bones. This is the cat that several years ago brought not one, but two baby squirrels. He brought a live bird into the house once.

That was bad, too. Yes, and a live bird. He's a little stinkeroonie right now. He's a little sweet nugget. Yeah. Are you jealous? A little. Because I'm petting him and you're not.

He's getting really cool with these tummy rubs. What if he had a little pair of sunglasses he wore all day it'd be pretty great it'd be very good baby can i ask you just a super quick favor please marry my boy hey seriously though look at look at look at me in the eyes uh-huh i'm gonna stop the recording real quick. Click. All right, it's over. Seriously, I need to ask you something really serious. Please marry my boy. It's something that I've been wanting for a really long time.

It's taken me a while to get the courage to ask you this, but please marry my boy. In this context, it probably looks like I'm asking you to marry Cecil, our cat. Yeah, it does. He is our boy. Oh, are you done? I'm gonna give you a kiss. And you're gonna turn into a prince. This week we watched...

Please, please marry my boy. Please marry my boy. We watched an Australian show that we found on YouTube called Please Marry My Boy. Please, God, please marry my boy. We watched an Australian show that we found on YouTube called Please Marry My Boy. Please, God, please marry this boy. Season one, episode one. Cecil left. Now it's time to get serious because I don't have that source of constant furry joy in my life. Please marry my boy.

The name of the show, it's going to sound like I'm making this this up but it's literally please marry my boy there's every word it's a succinct what is that four words please marry my boy they they made two choices there that make it the funniest like possible combination of words please the first is that they there's four words at all and it's not just marry my boy yeah the addition of please is like i'm not gonna fucking pull your pull your i'm not gonna twist your arm they probably tested marry my boy and it did not go over well i'm guessing the second decision they made is to go with boy yeah which is so much funnier than son or child or offspring actually please marry my offspring that's like some alien breeding

brood mother shit i was thinking of the band offspring i thought it was the band offspring they were trying to marry in this hypothetical show that would also i would watch that there's probably a offspring of love or whatever please marry my boy i'm begging you now i'm on my hands and knees and i'm begging you to please marry my boy i will say this to please marry my boy we probably laughed more watching please marry my boy than we have any reality show in history i was crying uh so it is four men and their mothers uh their mothers will each speed date with their son 10 women yes from those 10 pick three that will continue on to live with them to marriage well no they're not going to triple marry it's shot in australia and i don't i don't think that's on the books i just don't know if like

last episode if it's like all right if the mom literally gets down on her knee and says please god please marry this sack of shit um let's talk about the cruel arithmetic of episode one of please marry my boy because if it follows the same pattern there's multiple seasons right it's not important there are there are multiple seasons it's a it's a it's a harsh harsh algebra of 40 women. And The Bachelor can be a cruel show from time to time. Nothing this cruel. Of the 40 women, 28 got sent home. That's a rough night one. Yeah.

That's a rough night one. The one thing I'll say at the very beginning of this show, much like the show we watched last week. What did we watch last week? literally in the geek um this show also defines itself as a social experiment a lot of that going around a lot a lot of producers got bit by that particular bug huh i don't know if maybe there's a court case out there that decided if you call your show a social experiment you could like do whatever you want um there was a pretty great era i would call utopia a social experiment i would give utopia that well that's recent i would call the colony you remember the colony that was the

one where it was like a fictional post-apocalyptic thing and they all had skills and when they had to build like water filters out of cardboard and shit yes how did we watch that uh i don't know i honestly don't remember i think it was on hulu maybe that show was wild um those shows i think qualify as social experiment what if your mom picked your wife that's not if you can summarize it you know you can summarize it with the words please marry my boy i don't think that qualify i don't think the scientific community is gaining anything it seems like in order to use the word experiment it should be a little more complex yeah um please marry my boy please marry my boy there's four of these boys you don't get to pick which one you marry yeah so the the mom makes all the final choices right but there's of the 40 women they've been designated 10 for each one and who decides

what like what if there's cross-pollination where like one of the girls sees one of the of three guys about that is this fucking dr love's cold algorithms back at work his cold formulas i just don't know i think there's a man named dr love and obviously we know there's a man named Dr. Love. And obviously we know there's a man named Dr. Love. We learned that from the last season of The Bachelor. Yeah, no, we do. I think Dr. Love has his finger in a lot of, like, reality dating show pies. I think he's, like, the go-to guy for, like, we need to, hey, Dr. Love, we need to rub some science up on this love. Do you think it was the original Dr. Love that went to Australia? Or do you think Australia has its own Dr. Love?

You don't understand. It's the same man. People are allowed to fly to Australia and come back and be in Los Angeles. I like thinking that each country has its own Dr. Love. Jesus, baby, you've really expanded the fiction with one fell swoop. Okay.

Each country has its own Dr. Love. Dr. Theodosius Love is the Australian one, and he I don't know if he has the type of credentials that the smell test dr love from bachelor this theory needs some why why are you saying that why are you assuming that um is this more of your american propaganda it is that baby i'm glad that you called me out on my american exceptionalism i I've asked you for my New Year's resolution to have less American exceptionalism in my life. No, that's true. And that's that creep.

We both wrote that. We wrote down our, yours was American exceptionalism. And then I wrote down, you know, just smile more. Yeah. And this show brought out both of those, which is fantastic. 40 women, 10 women for each man. Can we just like... Do you want to meet the men? There were way too many women for us to dial in on all of them.

Well, we should meet the men. Let's just meet the men and meet those moms. Put those moms down in a chair and say, hey, what's up? Tell me about your boy. Can I marry him? Please. And I should note, there are some real heavy accents in this show. There is an accent.

And we don't mean to make fun, because we're definitely going to do impressions. I don't want to make fun. I'm definitely going to try to do it in a mocking manner. All right. But it was a Serbian-Australian accent. And it was amazing. It was very, very good. We had to do a lot of work to translate.

But then otherwise, just like a lot of very, very thick Australian accents. So there's Elva and Tony. Now, Tony's deal is he just wants, he's just in it for the booty. Yeah, he's shallow. He's a mechanical foreman. For the booty. Yeah, he's shallow. He's a mechanical foreman.

And the clip where we get to know Elva and Tony, Elva is putting together a puzzle that has Tony's face on it with a woman that we can't figure out. And she can't figure out either. And she literally says, something's missing. And it was the puzzle. It was the woman's face was missing from the puzzle. And she takes this tiny piece and tries to put it in the completely wrong guys this these these fucking tableaus of please marry my boy of pmmb holy shit they were delicious they were the most staged like one guy who's like a man child playing with

action figures and his mom like looking over his shoulder while making him like a cake and being like oh please marry my boy uh that was the worst one something's missing there's brendan and ann i'm sorry did you say brendan did you mean frendon because that's his nickname and everybody knows that he's 31 and the only other thing we learned about him is that his nickname is frendon because he just goes straight to that friend zone, I guess. Oh, that's a dangerous site. That's a dangerous concept to espouse. But we don't find out about a career or any interests. I think his career is professional friend-haver, and that's fine. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

If you fill your life up with friends, then you'll never go hungry. That was Confucius. Because you're eating them? them well they'll give you food okay you know how i have like a lot of friends uh-huh i do i have like over 40 000 twitter followers yeah no i know and they're all your friends and they send me food like all the time by the way if you want to send us food i should get a po box we should get a po box for rose buddies and only give it out it won't be a m just Rosebuddies. It won't be a Bim Bam Bim. It'll just be a Rosebuddies thing. And people can send us pickled vegetables and stuff that they made at home or jerky. Oh, for those of you that are confused right now, Griffin has other podcasts.

Yeah. Yeah, I do. I mean, most of that $40,000 came from Rosebuddies. But now I can't stop thinking about getting free jerky from the people. I've never made the listenership work for me. You know how much Superwater Zero we would have gotten weeks and weeks ago? about getting free jerky from the people. I've never made the listenership work for me. You know how much Superwater Zero we would have gotten weeks and weeks ago? Have we confirmed or denied the rumor,

the malicious rumors? I looked, so that person was on Twitter that said that Superwater Zero is being discontinued. I have yet to find anything on the internet that confirms that. I was looking for- Rachel told me, I tried Googling to see if there was a press release.

I thought maybe if I Googled Superwater Zero Discontinued... Hey, folks, it's me, H-E Butts, Junior Junior. It is a sad day. It is with a heavy heart that I announce to you that we're only going to stock regular water from now on. Even if they only did super water regular, which I call super water plus, because who knows what the fuck's in there

that the zero version has zero of. It's calories. That's what it is. Could be other stuff. MSG, gluten. There's like a lot of bad stuff in our food. Google it. I wouldn't drink that shit with my worst enemy's mouth.

Matt and Karen. Matt and Karen. Karen is the one that is the coach of some, like, indistinguishable game. Okay, so there was a sport. Do we have, we probably have at least one Australian listener. No, we do, because they were commenting when we chose the show. Oh, that's very exciting. This woman, Karen, who, she was coaching a women's team.

I think it was just like a gym class, but they were playing a game in the class that I couldn't figure out. It was outdoors, and there was a... There's a hoop. Okay, it's going to sound like we are two cavemen who have been warped from the past who haven't heard of basketball before. Swear to God, it's not basketball because this hoop was really, really little. Like, make a circle with your hands. That's about how big this hoop was.

And they were throwing a very small blue ball into it and, like, jumping around. And she was yelling at them for not jumping enough. They said they called her the Beast. And I was very into that. I was very into this mom. Matt has five sisters. And his mom is upset because she feels like he attracts, quote, floozies. Dangerous ideas to espouse.

Again, the beast. I got to put you on blast for that. And then finally, we have Vlad and Milena. Vlad is nearly 30. He lives at home. His mom cooks, shops, cleans for him. And it's very important to note that he is Serbian. Why is it important to know that he's Serbian, Rachel?

Because his mother very, very clearly wants to find him a Serbian woman. Yeah. What do you want in a Serbian? Oh, sorry. What do you want in a woman for Serbian? Okay, cool. What do you like any other Serbian? Okay, cool. So just the Serbian thing that I didn't know that I will admit to not knowing very much about the Serbian culture or community. I did not expect it to be quite as insular as this woman made it sound. Yeah, well, and I don't I don't think that it is. I think this woman is just, that's her perspective. That's weird that you would have that living. Is there a lot? Again, I guess I also don't know that much about Australia.

Are there enough Serbian people? Yeah, that's a reasonable expectation. I don't know. Okay, cool. I've always thought of Australia as being kind of a uh a great american melting pot which i'm just a great american melting pot they learned it from us obviously and then they were like your resolution is really falling apart is there a fucking carbon monoxide leak in our house I'm like fucking feeling it

maybe okay so then the speed dating begins each woman sits down with the boy and his mother these are adults in their late 20s and early to mid 30s

please marry these children that's a cool show or would you marry a 5th grader starring Jeff Foxworthy I don't want to be any part of this oh good we can do our Jeff Foxworthy impressions again if you marry a 5th grader and you're above the age of 10

you married a 5th grader be and you're above the age of 10. You might. You married a fifth grader. Be in jail. You'll definitely be. That's a Jeff Foxworthy guarantee. You're changing a little, the accents. There's your sign. Okay.

And so the moms kind of lead the questioning, and we get to meet some of the women at this point. This was amazing. Literally, this horde of 40 women start to walk into this bar that they showed the name of a million times because I guess that's the only way they were allowed to film in there, and I still can't remember what it's called, so mission failed. And the first woman introduces herself, and her name was Amy,

and Rachel's like, well, I'm not going to write all these women's names down. There's no way. There's absolutely no way. let me do an intro for the next woman okay okay boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom Doug funny. We say, Rachel says, I'm not going to write these women's names down because I won't remember them. And they're literally on screen. And she says, hello, my name is Costanza.

And Rachel and I are just like fucking dead on she's doing again she's geeking i i know it's just a woman's name what if it's like if it's like a traditional Australian name? And we're just laughing. Like it's not unacceptable. Will you Google it? Will you Google? The name Costanza?

I can tell you what the top result's going to be, my love. No, Google Costanza Australia or something. Maybe you should get on Facebook and just search the name Costanza. Homie, I googled Costanza Australian name. George Costanza of Seinfeld immortalized an Australian bar. George Costanza themed Seinfeld bar

opens in Australia. I'm gonna go ahead and say if that was a more common name, it would have been a higher result than a George Costanza themed bar that opened in Australia. They say that she's Italian and she's 24. So clearly she has been around. I'm fucking crying, dude.

I know. Clearly she's been around long before the show. Okay. So I feel mostly pity for her. All right. Costanza. Costanza. Let's just accept it and move on from it.

The other thing we should mention, when all the women come out, and they don't, again, this isn't one of those shows where the women don't know what's about to happen, because that's the best thing to do. It's a fun stunt you can do exactly the one time. Because you've got to be, if you're an Australian woman, it's like, come for our mystery reality dating show. You have to be thinking in the back of your mind, like, I'll sign up for this, but it better fucking not be Please Marry My Boy. And then you roll up and there's 40 women there and no dudes.

You're like, I'm on Please Marry My Boy, aren't I? Son of a bitch. And the host says, the host says we're gonna do speed dating. I'm sure none of you are strangers to speed dating which seems no no tea no shade no pink lemonade seems like kind of a if you said like i bet most people here have done speed dating everybody here is probably familiar with speed dating the way she said it was literally like i i know that none of you are strangers to speed in order to get to this show you had to have gone through at least three rounds of speed dating in your history. Speed dating is like a, if you've done it before, like, cool beans.

Like, I actually am, I'm really, I'm into the idea. Yeah, have you known anybody that ever did it? No, I don't know anybody that ever did it. I'm into the idea of it, right? Like, it seems very efficient. And obviously, we were, like, hungry for the people on Are You The One to do it. Because it seems like a good way to get to know a lot of people very, very quickly, right? I like the idea of it.

I just, like, I don't know who does it. I don't know where you sign up for something like that. If you, okay, let's say, let's say you were going to do speed dating. Yeah. How would you quickly sell yourself? Fuck that. I'm not going to do that on this podcast. No way, homie.

You don't want to be like. Hey, what's up? My name's Griffin. I like to, I like to party. I have 40,000 Twitter followers. That's really it. That's really all I got going for me. Yeah, thanks for opening me up like this, baby.

It's raw. It's a raw wound down here. You peel back the bandages. It's just all mummy underneath. I thought you'd leave with some of your interests, and you literally had my name is griffin mackroy i can name all 151 original pokemon either in pokedex order or if you want me to just do the poke rap i can also bust that out for you i'm obsessed with a discontinued heb vitamin water knockoff and uh oh i am married i am married that's definitely important for you to know.

Is that a deal breaker? Okay. You're not going to return the favor, huh? Just going to jump right back into the show. Oh, well, you didn't ask me. I just expected that you'd hop right in. Hi, my name's Rachel. I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri. Nice, St. Louis.

I got a cousin there. Yeah. I have a... You know Lenny? I have a master's degree in humanities. Oh, boy. I'm an only child. Oh, that might be a problem.

I love a good sibling. Was I supposed to do this to you? Were you supposed to do what to me? What? When you were... You're confusing me right now. Introducing yourself. Should I have done like a, hey, tell me about those Pokemon.

Are you making fun of my voice now? I've got a larynx disease. You've got a larynx disease? I told you that that was one of my interests is researching larynx diseases. And now you're just laughing at me. This feels... This feels really aggressive. Okay.

I don't think this is going to pop off. No. Do you feel like it's going to pop off? I can ring the bell and I can go get another drink. No, and that will end season one of, is this going to pop off? I just heard my back laughing at you. All right. That's it.

That guy's name was Gary, by the way. Oh. He felt more like a Rick to That guy's name was Gary, by the way. Oh. He felt more like a Rick to me. His name was Gary Rick. Okay. So we meet a couple other women. I don't know if it's really worth getting into them.

Just the highlights. Just the highlights. There was Alex,lex who was 40 and a tarot reader that was the first one you wrote down that was like close to the end i wrote down other ones she did a thing that was called photo reading which i had not heard of before where she just took a photo of the man's face and then looked at the photo it's like just look at his fucking face it's right there it looks like you're not gonna lose your hair but it's probably gonna thin out a little bit oh you mean like all all people unless they lose yeah okay uh yeah no she was not great i mean some of the ones i wrote down ended up getting picked so i don't really feel like i need to go super far

into them we should mention this might be a short episode of rose buddies because literally this was kind of just an episode about drafting the women. What happens after that? Who knows? There was a woman who was a devout Catholic and was also a topless waitress. She set herself up like, I'm a devout Catholic. I'm saving myself for marriage. I'm saving myself for marriage. I was baptized. I carry rosaries with me wherever I go.

But I like to call myself a walking contradiction. I like to think that if you like to call yourself anything. Yeah, I know. That's a weird sort of trait. Regardless of whether or not you are also a topless waitress. I like to call myself the meat gardener. What is that even? What are you talking about?

Yeah, you know, I garden, but I also run a butcher shop. Okay, that's fine. Just be Gary. There was a woman that was really into wrestling, and the guy was excited about that, because you never meet women that are into wrestling, which I thought was worth mentioning, because that is something we've talked about on the show.

Women never being into wrestling? I don't think that's true. No, just that wrestling is a thing we've talked about on the show. Wow, sort of a low bar for conversation topics for this episode. Hey, baby. Mm-hmm. Please marry my boy. Okay.

You're going to get me every time. Koa, who is a public servant. What the fuck does that even mean? Be more specific. I don't know. That's what her title was. Karen, Matt's mom, asked her, how many times have you had sex?

Wait, so think about that question. Karen is the beast. Karen's the beast, the coach that was like straight shooter, just like putting ladies on blast nonstop. I hope it's okay for me to call her the beast. I'm obsessed with this idea of a woman gym coach that people call the beast. It's like a Mrs. like a mrs woodcock you know what i mean this is for a script that i'm piloting okay called mrs woodcock the beast how many times how many times have you had sex have you had sex i don't know hundreds of times

what was interesting was that koa said oh probably just like between five and ten i think that's crazy i think she had to have misunderstood the question, right? She must have interpreted it as number of people. If you're... I want to be careful here. Okay. Because if that doesn't seem like a crazy high number, that's fine. She didn't ask how many people you've had sex with.

If you'd only had sex with one person, but you'd had sex once a week for 200 weeks, you've had sex with if you'd only had sex with one person but you'd had sex once a week for 200 weeks you've had sex hundreds of times yeah what kind of answer was it how many times have you had sex karen yeah 14 000 times with one man i wonder if it's a cultural thing. The number of times that you've made love? Definitely not. I think here in America, let's just, let's, let's say where we're coming from. Here in America, often you get asked how many partners you have had. When you're on the reality dating show, Are You The One? You are asked how many times, how many people you've had sex with and you lie.

Did we talk about that episode? No, because that was a season we didn't cover oh shit that was season two in season two there was a challenge where the woman had to like slip and slide and grab number blocks then slot them into the men and then they were supposed to be the answers that the men said like how many times they'd had sex and like there was like a nine on there and the guy was like i know it's kind of a high number there was also a guy on there who did over a hundred and then one guy that was like i don't know i lost track there was one guy that said too many to count and then actually it was just like 35 and there was like a

39 on the board there um maybe that's a thing that people maybe in australia and in serbia it's like how many times have you literally had intercourse? I just don't... It's a weird metric. I don't know what an ideal answer to that question would be. Between 5 and 10 means like

twice in 2006, skipped 2007, once in 2008. Three times in 2009. Really went crazy on it. What's your longest relationship? Oh, seven years. Seven years, yeah.

Those nights, though? Holy shit. Explosive. Fireworks. Please marry my boy. Oh, no. Okay, so let's go on to who's picked and then we can talk about the women excellent i'm excited about it um the most brutal part of this draft process was they would say boy boy what day is it well okay christmas sir first they sit at a table

the women and men sit at a table and they look at headshots of the women. They fight. And they talk about who they liked and who they didn't like, but ultimately the mom makes the final decision. Yeah. And so then they stand up in front of the group, and it's the whole group. It's all 40. and it's the whole group it's all 40 so even though the men and women have only you know been kind of sectioned off they are all in the room together right and yeah and so the man is asked who is your favorite what's really weird about this is the host comes out and says all

right ladies all of the bachelors are going to come out now and tell us who their favorite is and their mom's going to pick the three for them. If yours isn't the one that's up there, then hands off. It's like, what if it's love at first sight? You didn't even account for that, Dr. Love. You just see us as fucking numbers and habits and heuristics. I'm more than that. I'm flesh and blood. I got a heart.

The heart wants what it wants. What if you had been there, and you were set up for Carl, and you weren't in my 10? What would you have done? I mean, what you could do as the boy is you could point and say, that one's my favorite. I want her, Mommy. I don't know her name, but I just saw her and she's my favorite. Can we mention during the photos part? Oh.

There was a woman whose name was Cherise and it was spelled C-H-E-R-E-S-E. And it flashed over this photo for a split second before it was cutting the commercial. This is when I lost it and was unable to regain my composure for the rest of the episode because I thought this woman's name was Cheese.

We had to rewind it and pause it so Griffin could be sure her name if you take the r i've i've seen the name sharice before i've heard the name sharice before i don't know i've ever seen it spelled out i did not know that you could just take a remove one letter from it and then the name is then it has become cheese this is my friend belorgna I guess John Hamm if you it's still just Hamm if you take out

there's two Hamms you can take either one out and he's just Hamm still what are you doing sandwich topping this is my friend Salarmy this is my brother

Mustardo so you're doing it different I'm adding R's much in the way that this is my brother this is my brother, Merstard. This is my sister, Mayronaise. Okay. Okay.

I thought it was cheese and then we kept this is the part of the show where I do the woman's exit because when she was speaking after I just kept going he will have cheese cheese please marry my boy.

Okay, we have to move on. Okay, so Matt... Matt... Matt... Matt, um, Matt, um, Matt is the one whose, uh, mom is the beast. Yes. So Matt, Matt picks Josie, who was the, um, Swedish. 23 year old, uh. Travel something.

She was a tourism student Tourism student, yes Does that just mean you travel a bunch? That sounds like a dope ass job I think it's some kind of hospitality industry job But she's there on a visa Which the mom Karen did not enjoy

Karen did not like that So Karen picked Amanda I liked Amanda She was very earnest And Karen picked Amanda. I liked Amanda. She was very earnest. And Karen picked somebody who was either named Linda or Lindle. Couldn't tell. Couldn't tell. And then Koa, the public servant.

Koa, the public servant. Who has had sex five to ten times. It's weirdly specific, but also not specific enough. Like like when that's your range you should know if it's within five to ten that's a number that's small enough that if you know it's between five to ten you should know if it is five six seven eight nine or ten well maybe i mean sometimes as a woman you don't know if they all count. Based on the quality and duration. Does that count?

Was that a time? Yeah. Sometimes it happens twice. You don't know. This is the first example where we get where we find out the mom is not necessarily going to pick the boys. Top choice. Josie gets iced. Josie gets sent home. She's very sad about it.

I don't blame her. That's rough to be like, you're my favorite, but sorry. But sorry, you know. Mom. Mom. Mom. Tony. Tony's the one that's shallow.

Tony Boney. Yes. Tony picks Tammy Lee as his favorite. Tammymy lee who describes herself as a human barbie doll which is tammy lee is like a bar owner um she winks a lot at him which he really likes barbie doll a human barbie doll is another one of those like i guess uh i would call myself the way i refer to myself is as the human barbie doll it's always seemed like a weird thing because it's like i don't think it i don't think i would like that because that's some mannequin shit and that movie scared the shit out of me yeah yeah where did she come from

do you like weird science because like you get to see the origin and that science at least you get some science out of it yeah mannequin it's a it's a mannequin like that you put clothes on at a store and then all of a sudden it's a woman and he's like let's fall in love that's fine everything and it's like if if it's a if that's your match if that's your one then fine go for it chase your boys but where the fuck did she come from like where did kim cattrall come from is a ghost that died and it was kim cattrall and it died now it's embodying this thing is it uh hey griffin griffin yeah babe please marry my boy i'm down to marry your boy i'm just talking about you know do you a lot of stuff um okay well uh elva picks sarah magdalena and then surprise tammy lee enjoy have enjoy tony yeah yeah that was just kind of like a nice little

like here you go you'll be okay um magdalena was the yoga instructor, and she made that clear by doing yoga for them. This is a rough one. And talking a lot about the universe. Talking a lot about the universe. What do you do for a living? Does yoga. Like, that's not a way to... What do you do for a living?

Well, I think she's an instructor. It looks like, oh, you're cutting up a potato, right? You work at McDonald's? I work at McDonald's. That's right. You figured it out. I'm not saying doing your job is weird. I'm not saying demonstrating what your job is is weird.

I'm saying if I go, like, if you ask me, like, Griffin, what do you do for a living? You wouldn't pretend to type at a keyboard? Or just talking like, yeah, like his dick. That's, like, what I guess what podcasting sounds like. What? Saying, like, oh, yeah, well, yeah, that's like what i guess what podcasting sounds like what saying like uh uh oh yeah well uh yeah that's like me wanting to get swallowed by scott bacula right guys oh you would like

demonstrate one of the jokes right that's what would be like a podcast that's what a podcast would be i thought it was all about i mean because she does like buds basically charades i thought it would be like oh like typing yeah oh it would probably just be be me holding a hand up to my mouth like I'm holding a microphone, but I would also be making a jerk-off motion. Not like a serious one, but like a... I would hold the cat and pretend to work, but really I'm watching wrestling. I don't know how you mime that. And then getting up and walking across the

hall to the bathroom and paying with the door open and walking back and watching the rest of wrestling which again i still don't maybe if i just mouth the words like fuck yeah undertaker or something like that every few seconds that'd be good it'd be good um brendan brendan frienden um brendan brendan frendan so this the ghost man this this was confusing to me so far each man had come up and named his first choice and they had shown that and we had witnessed it brendan doesn't get that luxury he does not get to pick his one brendan he i don't know all these women seem lovely i'd love to take him out for a nice country picnic and never kiss them. All right, Frendon, damn. So his mom, his mom who is named Anne. His mom who's named is Anne.

Anne just wanted to get buttered up by some women. Anne didn't think about what Frendon, maybe this is sort of the Frendon colon origins. Because Anne was just like, I like this lady because she said nice things about me. Yeah. Anne picks two women both named Anna. And she said the names are going to get confusing. They were already confusing with the Anne Anna thing. And then you, this is just fucking unnecessary, ma'am.

One of them really liked Merlot. And they really bonded on that. And then the other one just flattered her. Just was just like, you just seem really great, and I'm really excited to get to know you. I liked the Merlot one, because she was like, what kind of wine do you drink? And she said, red wine. I don't know why I did an impression for one of them, but not the other one. I drink red wine.

She said, oh, Merlot? And he said, but not the other one. I drink red wine. She said, I'm Merlot. And he says, yeah, I'm Merlot. Hey, we should date.

That's a crazy, like, it's a fun, that's a fun joke. That is a fun joke. Uh, and that's also an amazing reality show. I'm going to date your mom.

A reality show where the men think that they're going to get dates with these attractive women, but then the women roll up and they're like, nah, dude, psych. I'm going hard for karen karen what's up and then this the sons just have to like you know what the fucking they do it's their mom they raise them uh the last woman that is selected is edwina who is old-fashioned and wants to be taken care of. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. And then finally we have Vlad and Milena. Are we even going to pretend like she's not going to pick this woman to please marry her boy? So there is one contestant that is Serbian and she speaks the

language that they speak. serbian probably and she knows how to do the dance that they do uh and the mother the serbian dance yes and the mother is just instantly very excited and tell me more about the serbian dance though actually that's what i want to know about. I mean, it appears that it involves standing up and moving. It's modeled after the neutron dance by the Pointer Sisters. And that's a weird, it's just truth. And when the mom says her name, she tears up a little.

Yes. She's so excited. She doesn't give the other two women that she picks the same treatment no um this seems like a rigged game oh btw one of those other women that she picks costanza guys it's so good i don't know that i would recommend this show i think after after she's picked they actually show the mom and Vlad being like, so you get the Seinfeld thing a lot? And she's like, yeah, no, I get the Seinfeld.

I mean, the name Costanza holds a lot of cultural significance here in Australia. It won't show up in a Google result. It's kind of like, you just have to live here and you'll know. And then he also picks Jackie, but Jackie does not want to move to adelaide okay so i got this clip are you gonna play it yeah i recorded it on my voice memos

because they showed this clip twice of her talking to jackie and jackie was like unsure what's the montmelena melena asked her melena asked her do you want to move to blank um this is this is this is how it this is this is like i couldn't i didn't get it so would you like to move to outlet i don't know one more time let me just get the pop filter out of the way just really get in there would you like to move to outlet i don't know couldn't we didn't get it for the first couple times we replayed it a lot well we only got it once jackie said it jackie said it in her own accent and then we were able to tell it was adelaide but um so jackie drops out and liz who was who vlad wanted all along is that how's your how's your situation because they asked him they

asked vlad like who'd you like and he would you like? And he was like, Liz. And Melina was like, nope. Literally shook her head, like, no, Liz. You're not coming into my fucking house, Liz. And then she has to drop back and punch. And she does pick Liz, and Liz actually says, like, I'm sorry, Melina. This is going to be a horrible, horrible living

situation. So that's all for episode one. So we thought about, should we continue because nothing actually happened other than the women were selected. We know that the women are moving into the mom's houses, which sounded fun. And eventually the moms ask the women to leave the house. Not the like women that they don't want. Oh, but they get eliminated. Yeah. I think the emotions probably run high. Yeah, probably. Do you want to look up the results? Yeah, I, run high yeah probably you want to look up the results yeah i i the wikipedia page does not have a lot of information but maybe you can find another source yeah this is a lightweight this

is a lightweight wikipedia page geez okay uh spoiler alerts for the rest of uh please marry my boy uh if you want to watch this show, then don't listen to the rest of this podcast episode. Thanks for listening. See you on the other side. All four couples fail to find love on the show. However, they all say they've made great mates. Trust the process, dude.

Let your moms just go for it. I mean, I wonder how that concludes. Matt ended up with Amanda, the one I said I liked. I liked what was going on there. Frenden rolled up with Anna, which is just like statistically like two and three chance. Vlad, Andrea, that was, I believe, the Serbian woman. Yeah, that was.

And then Tony was Mag magdalena the yoga instructor yeah just weeks after their on-screen couplings all unions have gone their separate ways with one not making it out of the sydney bar where the series was filmed holy fucking shit please marry my boy okay cut no i'm not gonna marry your boy please remember boy you got it i'm gonna marry the shit out of that boy. Cut. But that was just for the TV, right? No, definitely not.

That was just the TV show, right? I can't marry your boy. That's crazy. I didn't date him. I dated you. So, yeah. So, we will not continue to watch that show, but I enjoyed it. I thought it was entertaining.

It was nice to see kind of a new twist on a on an old favorite apparently tony had his eye on this is the this website news.com.au uh-huh uh perth manager tony turco had his eyes on busty blonde tammy lee but his mother elva instead chose yoga instructor magdalena as the perfect partner for her son. Sliding doors, right? Boy, if it'd been Costanza in there. Costanza wasn't even one of Tony's pigs. What if? What if?

What if? So while we were watching this show, you were scrolling through your phone to identify another show for us to watch. And we didn't talk about what it was. We did not. But I thought I would ask you now. I know nothing about this show, except I saw a lot of screen caps that made me laugh a lot. There's apparently a Chinese dating show called If You Are The One. I know, I know.

That's come up in the Facebook. Has it? Okay. And from what i understand and again i've looked into this for about 15 seconds so if this turns out to not be a thing i think we should like look into it and announce whether or not we're actually going to do it okay um but it's a chinese uh dating show where uh uh as far as i can tell one man gets up on stage and is interviewed by 28 women who just fucking destroy him. No, there was somebody who recommended we watch that, but I haven't looked to see if

we can access it online. I think we can find it on the on the tubes. Okay. People have asked us to about the new coupled show that's coming out. It's coming out. I think that's coming out the same day. The same time as The Bachelorette. Maybe we'll swing around to it the next...

Yeah, maybe we'll get to it once the season has ended. And people have also asked if we are going to go over the rules for drafting and keeping score. And we will do that right before the new show starts. Yes, we are going to do that. We've talked about also dipping into... we're like winding down aren't we it's like we only got a few more weeks before the show comes back that's very exciting um just to like bust you out a few of these screen caps from if you are the one or if you were the one um just some of these things that these women are saying to these guys uh

uh i'm not attracted to chubby uncles oh man i think i may be better than you that one's just like oh that's good would you like to date i think i actually might be better than you uh you smile like a cute pig that's actually that one hit me like middle of the road if you were with me you'd suffer like this this show sounds kind of like it might be fire i know nothing about it outside of what these screen taps that i'm looking at on google are telling me it might be hateful and horrible well let's do some more investigating i think we should watch like a couple clips and then make our decision but i'm very excited about it i wanted to do like

a japanese uh dating show uh i don't know if there are any there probably are there's probably japanese dating shows. I think I still have a Crunchyroll subscription for when they advertise on Adventure Zone. So maybe I can put it on there. Well, we want to make sure that it's something that everybody can watch. That's true. Not everybody has a Crunchyroll subscription. Anyway, thank you for... Where were we at?

This is a short episode. We're at about 48 minutes. But I don't think there's a lot to talk about from... Please, God. Please, please, please, please please please please please marry my boy please marry my boy i will give you do you want money i have money i'll give you money to please marry my boy there was a second series of please marry my boy maybe that one got some love out of it i don't know i'm like exhausted from laughing as much as we laughed i know um thank you for listening to rose buddies um we got

a couple more weeks separating us and the launch of the new season we're very excited about it start getting your group together like find a squad to watch this show with you we're gonna we're gonna post the fantasy rules we're gonna tweak them we're gonna workshop them and we're gonna post the final rule set and you can play along with all your friends but yeah and if you guys want to have some virtual virtual game play that's fine um this is a show that is in my mind only experience with friends not best experience of friends i don't think i'd watch it if it was just me uh but it's like i used to yeah and i guess the two of us used to watch it together but in a big group with like a big bottle of wine ah it is a treat to pizza.

Thanks for listening. Anything else, babe? Nope. Cool. Until next time, I'm Griffin McElroy. I'm Rachel McElroy. When you're ready. Stay with us on this journey of joy.

Spoiler alert. She is up with Soulja Boy. Right reasons. Right reasons. Take me to all ball for seasons.