Wonderful! - Wonderful! 181: Magic 8 Tube

Episode Date: May 19, 2021

Griffin’s favorite hearty sweet breakfast food! Rachel’s favorite soothsaying toy!Music: “Money Won’t Pay” by bo en and Augustus – https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya Su...pport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate Support the AAPI Civic Engagement Fund: https://aapifund.org/ MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is wonderful. Thank you, everybody who supported us in the Maximum Fun Drive. You know, we say maximum fun a lot of the times. And if I'm being fully honest, and Jesse would hate me saying this. Oh, here comes the bad boy. For me, I can only usually hit like 94% fun, 93% fun.
Starting point is 00:00:46 And I guess for me, that upper echelon, that is my maximum fun. But I got to say this year, against all odds, operating on one might say criminal levels of sleep. One might say physically impossible to survive levels of sleep. I hit it. Maximum fun this year. And when you you do hit it a beam of light shoots out of your chest can i yeah can i interject did that did you do the beam of light or not no i i always get distracted when you talk about uh the amount of sleep that you're getting yeah because. Because it is. It's more than you. Significantly more than me. Right, yeah. You're getting up, what, about every hour?
Starting point is 00:01:28 Yeah. In the nighttime. Yeah. So you're seeing times on the clock that are so bonkers, right? Sometimes it hits 420 and I think about waking you up just to say,
Starting point is 00:01:40 It's funny to see that. Yeah, I've seen a 420 or two uh during this stretch and it always i always bust up and i get like blazed to donk stone it's totally zooted out of my fucking gourd and don't tell anybody about that though um because i don't think they want you to do that when you got a baby but listen i i i'm so appreciative to our fans, to our friends, to our family, to our faith, to everything. You all came out in a big way and supported us. And year after year, you come out in a big way. And it means so much.
Starting point is 00:02:23 And we'll never be able to thank you enough. Yeah, a lot of really nice messages, particularly about how this show has been helpful to people during this challenging year. Yeah. And that is nice to hear because it is not always the easiest show to make
Starting point is 00:02:36 when times are tough. And a lot of solidarity from parents of, fellow parents of, let's say's say fart laden babies just babies who are heavy with farts we're doing great though gus is is really turning it around but he turned it around 360 degrees so it's right back to where we started which which is the toilet. But I don't know. I'm feeling ready to do a podcast, aren't you? Yeah. You got any – hey, this would be a good little way to – hey, this might be a good little way to kickstart things. You got any small wonders?
Starting point is 00:03:16 Oh, man. Oh, boy. Uh-oh. Will you go first? Technology on my phone lets me play video games on my computer upstairs that's wild to me i have i think i've talked about on this show before but like i can get on my phone and play i've been playing mass effect uh which is like an old game that they just remastered been playing it on my phone like downstairs uh you know in the middle of the night just like hanging out
Starting point is 00:03:41 and it's it's wild to me that i can do that my phone you know what i mean that's what i use for taking pictures and what's other things you can do with a phone talk yeah and pictures look at pictures uh-huh and do uh see how many steps see how many steps and do temperature yeah and a calculator okay you've given me a lot of time now. Okay, good. Cashew milk. Okay, wow. This feels like BS. I love you.
Starting point is 00:04:13 This feels like BS to me. I've never seen you drink cashew milk. No, but it's in a lot of products that I enjoy. I see. I am learning now. So for those of you keeping score, I am off dairy. I'm also now off soy again,
Starting point is 00:04:26 as per recommendation, because our babies have terrible digestive systems. True, true, true. Which I'm not going to say comes from a particular side of our family. Yeah. It's mine. Sorry, for folks who are new to the show, it's mine. We're really bad at eating food and digesting it without making terrible stuff happen. And so I have this ice cream and then that butter. Oh, that butter, though. Both made with cashew milk.
Starting point is 00:04:54 It's a very rich kind of fatty milk. Oh, it sure is. Not like your almond milk. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. This is that chunky stuff. Yeah. We're not going to say the brands though because they didn't pay us hey do you want to know what my only thing is this week yes what
Starting point is 00:05:12 the thing is that i'm bringing yes please in this new truncated format that we're getting a lot of positive feedback and a lot of buzz from the press saying that they love it and this is the only way they want us to do the show from now on yes i want to talk about and this is a topic that's important to me and you can vouch for this sweet rolls sweet rolls sweet i was going to do cinnamon rolls but i felt like it wasn't enough of a topic so i decided to expand that out into sweet rolls i was confused because you were saying sweet rolls like it was a tm thing and and i was thinking swiss rolls but i wouldn't know i'm not talking about swiss swiss cake is like its own category of like rolled up cakes that's not what i'm talking about in fact there's a there's a sort of quartet of uh baked goods that one would consume typically for breakfast, right?
Starting point is 00:06:05 You got your donuts. You got your cakes, which I think like waffles and pancakes would like fall into that. You have your pastries, right? Your danishes, your what have yous. And then you have your sweet rolls. And boy, howdy, if I could only keep one of them and the other three had to get launched into the sun. Sorry, donut lovers.
Starting point is 00:06:23 For me, I got to keep the sweet rolls. So what else is there besides a cinnamon roll in this category? Cinnamon roll. There's an orange roll. There's a pecan roll, pecan swirls. I would count honey buns in this category. And I'm going to talk about all of these in depth. Chelsea buns, those thingies with the currants and nuts on them.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Can I request that you start calling me Honey Buns? You can certainly request it and I will file the motion through the correct legislative bodies and we'll whip up support for it and see what we can get going. But if I'm gonna be honest, things are really tough right now
Starting point is 00:07:03 in the House of uh mcelroy representatives especially when it comes to pet names they've been so divisive like pet names are the third rail of household politics yeah i mean i guess you call me honey yeah and sometimes i i look at you and i yell but um i think they are you know me like i'm big into a handheld food yes that i just re-watched the lord of the rings movies and there's this thing in sort of the tolkien verse called i think it's called limbus bread it's elven bread and the whole thing is that you take a bite of it and it's like eating a whole meal so they give them to the hobbits when they go on their big quest so that they can you know save room in their backpacks and to me a two bite cinnamon roll is basically that like a two bite cinnamon roll
Starting point is 00:07:54 fills me up so good which is wild because i know how many bites of food i just ate and also do you actually eat it in two bites? No. I wonder who they're thinking of when they call that a two bite. Oh, I don't know. Not me. I do it in one big monster bite. You called me out. I can't believe it. I'm so embarrassed.
Starting point is 00:08:17 The longest running Christmas tradition that our family has,plicably is that every Christmas morning, we eat cinnamon rolls and orange rolls. We've done this every year. Of course, you've noticed it. You've done it now like 11 times or however many Christmases we've spent together. I don't know why that tradition got started. I'm not complaining. So for me, I think that there is probably a bit of a like, you know, neurons connecting, like, positive memories with cinnamon rolls and orange rolls. They're positive to every sense, right? Except hearing. I don't think one hears, like, a cinnamon roll or an orange roll or a pecan roll and is like, hmm.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Hey, sidebar, did you ever go to Ann Sather in Chicago? Ann Sather? Are they the ones that make the big boys? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. big boys yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh my gosh that oh the big boys so i i wanted to say and you really i'm sorry my shit's all mixed up there is a there's a limit to my love okay and that limit is like a cinnabon and an and sathers and sathers is fine if it's like this is what i'm doing today but like cinnabon and an ann sathers ann sathers is fine if it's like this is what i'm doing today
Starting point is 00:09:25 but like cinnabon i will walk by a cinnabon at an airport and be like the smell is so outrageous are like five pounds but you eat one and it's like you miss your flight because you fell asleep wherever you were standing at the moment where you started to eat the cinnabon there's like a an event horizon of cinnabon that when you've eaten too much of it, your body stops functioning. Yeah. And maybe it'll start functioning again later. Maybe you have died is the other thing. So Cinnabon for me is a little too much of a good thing.
Starting point is 00:09:58 No, that's fair. But in a house, you wake up in the morning and you got one of them Pillsbury cans and you pop those open which is scary that's probably the worst part of the cinnamon roll experience for me is that you have to basically just diffuse a bomb yeah and there's not a great way to do it they say unwrap the wrapper put a little spoon on it push the spoon to pop still scary every time and I cry I do cry every time. And you've been worried about me in the past, I think, when you came into the kitchen and see me crying over the cinnamon rolls. Yeah, I said, Griffin, are you cutting onions? And you're like, no, I had to open cinnamon rolls.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Right. The way my brain thinks about breakfast foods is broken. And I think that that's probably true for a vast majority of Americans, where when I see a donut, I'm like, well, that's a dessert that we have made acceptable to eat. Exactly. And the breakfast times, or when I see a sugary cereal, it's like, I've put away my childish things. I can't because of all the sugar in you. But when I see a sweet bun or a sweet roll of any variety, of any stripe, it's like, ah, there it is. The reasonable, the thinking man's breakfast breads, even though it's probably not even remotely healthier. Yeah, I've noticed that line that we arbitrarily draw, because a
Starting point is 00:11:18 lot of times Henry will ask for fruit snacks in the morning, and we'll say, no, no, you can't have that for breakfast. But have these Fruity Pebbles, which are small, crunchy fruit snacks, essentially. But these have been endorsed by the Flintstones and they know health. Are Fruity Pebbles technically part of the paleo diet? It's food for thought, huh? Didn't think about that.
Starting point is 00:11:43 These are the tough questions. What has happened to you? That's a good thought, huh? Didn't think about that. These are the tough questions. What has happened to you? That's a good question that nobody's asking. Are Flintstones vitamins part of the paleo diet? Oh my gosh. This would be perfect if you were doing this show with Travis McElroy. You're right. But I'm sorry you're not. I'm happy to be doing it with you. You take me down so many delightful roads on this show. You think Travis knows anything about poetry? He does not. I can pretty much guarantee that. So to dial in on the cinnamon
Starting point is 00:12:10 rolls specifically for a moment, although again, I love all types of rolls. My mom used to make pecan rolls at home with like white raisins in them. Oh boy, you got a lot of nuts and fruit and stuff in there. And it just excited me every time. Raisins are a thing that people put in cinnamon rolls, which I don't know how I feel about that in general. I feel like the cinnamon roll is pretty good to go already. Anyway, cinnamon rolls. It's a very popular food across Europe and North America.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Although we are, get this, usually the only ones that slather them in icing and cream cheese frosting, if you can believe that. Apparently they run a little bit spicier up in Canada. Up in Canada, they run a spicy. They use a lot more cinnamon. And so it's spicy to eat them. I thought you were talking about like a savory spice, like a little cayenne.
Starting point is 00:13:03 I thought you were talking about like a savory spice, like a little cayenne. Oh, no, but this is the thing that I read where I was like, okay, now I do want to talk about this because I love my beautiful Midwestern wife. And she may have some knowledge of this. And if so, I want to drill down into it to sort of. There's a Midwestern tradition. I've seen it in Kansas, Nebraska, andowa where cinnamon rolls are frequently paired with chili no i don't know anything about this it's a thing that a lot of people are very strong advocates for i would say most of those people it's on the side and you eat some of the savory chili and then you have some of the sweet cinnamon roll and then there are some people who i will call ghouls yeah that do a dip situation into it i have never heard
Starting point is 00:13:50 of this uh it it shattered me because i there's a fragment of my soul that hears that and is like that sounds actually like something I would definitely do. I mean, a lot of people put kind of sweet stuff in chili, like cinnamon and. Sweet potatoes. It's right there in the tin. Yeah. But it's, this is a, this is a, woof. This is a quite a pairing, huh?
Starting point is 00:14:17 Yeah. I, I, St. Louis tends to kind of skew differently than a lot of the Midwest. So it's possible that this exists in Missouri, but I have never heard of it. Okay. Well, all our Nebraskan and Iowan and Kansan, Kansasan. I'm curious how Ohio feels about this because I know they have strong chili beliefs.
Starting point is 00:14:36 They have terrible chili beliefs. And I can say this because I lived in West Virginia, which is basically Ohio and lived in Ohio for a year and have had a lot of exposure to Skyline Chili, both externally and internal exposure to Skyline Chili. And I don't claim that. I don't claim that as my heritage because it's not good chili. But I just a sweet roll really gets me there. Oh, God, we had a vending machine in our high school.
Starting point is 00:15:04 First of all, we had a Fruitopia vending machine in our high school, which is fucking nuts. I've talked about that before. 90s kids now. Except I didn't go to high school in the 90s. This was like 2004. We got a Fruitopia machine. It's like, it's 2004. What are we doing?
Starting point is 00:15:19 Who's the Fruitopia vendor that's like driving up the hill to our high school to refill the fruitopia vending machine once a year because nobody's buying fruitopia must have been a heavily discounted option for your school they must have had a budget set aside for vending machines and they said what could we get for this much and they said well i think we still have a fruit but there were copious vending machines with honey buns in them and i probably spent i would say four hundred dollars on honey buns just throughout my matriculation at Huntington High School I like a hearty food and I like a sweet breakfast food and I feel like
Starting point is 00:15:52 sweet buns are what bridges that gap beautifully and also I want to close this out by saying in Finland and in Sweden they celebrate cinnamon bun day on October 4th so mark our calendars because that's when we're gonna maybe that's when we do our chili dive whoo whoo i know you make a good chili pillsbury makes a good
Starting point is 00:16:13 cinnamon roll yeah we bring them both together and if it doesn't work we never talk about it ever again we never admit to it we never tell anybody this i imagine will be one of those segments where we get a lot of posts in the Facebook group of people like, y'all don't even know. It's heavenly. We'll see. But you got a long road to hoe if you're going to convince me of that. I just pictured a bread bowl, but it's a cinnamon roll and you put chili inside. Now I'm back.
Starting point is 00:16:40 I've actually circled back around. Actually, no, wait. I'm thinking about the consistency of that bread after the chili has sat in it for eight seconds. And I'm not I'm actually circled right back around. Gross. Yuck. No, thanks. Can I steal you away?
Starting point is 00:16:54 Yes. Hey, we have a couple of jumbled brands here, and I would love to read this first one, if it's okay with you. Please. This first one's for Joseph, and it's from Risa, who says, Hi Joseph, we met on a garbage app during a garbage year full of garbage things, but our love is not garbage and is definitely wonderful. Here's to more recipes cooked together, cuddles, and tats on the couch, and way more adventures to places that aren't our homes. You make me so happy. Love, your first and only boyfriend, Riza. Oh, man. When you think of people listening to Taz... Always on the couch. I just, like, I always assume people listen when they're doing other things. No, though, no,
Starting point is 00:17:40 not Taz. They turn the lights off. They sit in a dark room. They can sit next to somebody like Joseph and Reza, but I know that they're keeping it absolutely silent at respecting the art. Honestly, I have tried to listen while doing other things, and I get very lost. Yeah. Very often. We're all so rich as the tapestry we weave.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Can I read the next one? Okay. This is for Jack and Ryan, and it is from Jeremy! Hey there, Jack and Ryan, and it is from Jeremy! Hey there, Jack and Ryan. Bet you didn't expect to see me here. Well, maybe you did. I'm sure you don't have much expectations anymore.
Starting point is 00:18:13 We've just passed the 50th episode of our podcast, and it's been so much fun doing this with you both. Can't wait to hit it big and leave you suckers behind. With love and beans on the stove jeremy i respect and appreciate jeremy's restraint for not trying to drop that plug yeah people have tried people have tried oh boy unless wait what if their podcast is called beans on the stove sneaky damn it they got us again 50 episodes though that's pretty significant. That is. That's, yeah, I mean, you're rounding that year mark, and that's when you start getting the big bucks.
Starting point is 00:18:51 That's when you get a signed letter from Marc Maron in the mail congratulating you on your diligence. And a coupon for a hug and a head scratch. That's right. Mm-hmm. We have wasted this world. Our magic put a storm in the sky that has rendered the surface of our planet uninhabitable. But beneath the surface, well, that's another story entirely. In a city built leagues below the apocalypse, survivors of the storm forge paths
Starting point is 00:19:27 through a strange new world. Some seek salvation for their homeland above. Others seek to chart the vast undersea expanse outside the city's walls. And others still seek, what else? Fortune and glory. Dive into the Aether Sea, the latest campaign from the Adventure Zone, every other Thursday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, what's your thing you want to talk about this time, huh? What is it? All getting out the laptop, huh? Ooh, opening up Nexus Lexus.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Got some peer-reviewed research that we want to talk about. Did you say Nexus Lexus? Is it Lexus Nexus? Pretty sure it's the other way around. It's not a good name for a service, regardless. That's fair. They should call it Surcho. And you can have that Nexus Lexus.
Starting point is 00:20:18 You can use it because Lexus is already a car thing. The quality you're bringing to the show today is like it's like griffin's kooky cousin this is what i've brought to every podcast recording i've done in the last six weeks so i don't know what you want from me uh so i also was looking for kind of a big category like your sweet roll yeah um because what i found myself looking at a lot was like uh children's fortune tellers kind of okay like a cootie catcher yeah so i looked a little bit into the cootie catcher and mash i looked at mash too um what i settled on talking about though was the magic eight ball this is good we should also clarify that talking about cootie catcher and mash in the age of when everybody is born sort of with a smartphone in
Starting point is 00:21:11 their hand is probably buck wild because i'd be willing to bet there's a lot of our listeners who have no idea what we just talked about so the cootie catcher is like an origami folded handheld like little pincher toy where you move your fingers to move the catcher and people guess numbers. It's impossible to describe this thing. It is. And then you like unfold a flap on the number they pick to like reveal a fortune. And MASH, if you listen to Janet Janet Varney show, you know about it. She does it with all our guests. That's right.
Starting point is 00:21:47 But it, it was a way to predict kind of where you would end up living and who you would marry and what kind of car you would drive. And it was a lot of like, kind of like fortune telling basically, but, but not as sinister as maybe some fortune telling seemed to be to kids.
Starting point is 00:22:08 Like the Ouija board was a little more controversial, I think. That was less fortune telling and more communing with the dead. But yeah, I understand. But yeah, I wanted to talk about
Starting point is 00:22:18 the magic eight ball. Did you? Of course, yeah. I had a magic eight ball. I think I had like a Yoda magic eight ball where like the dice would come up and it would be like, did you of course yeah i had a magic eight ball i think i had like a yoda magic eight ball or like the dice would come up and it would be like uh in for in in for good in for good good tidings
Starting point is 00:22:33 thou art that sounded more like the bible than yoda but the voice was good i was very impressed with the voice yeah thank you uh so the magic eight ball the standard one has 20 possible answers uh wait what yeah it's a 20 sided dice inside of it i never knew that yeah i think i just assumed it was like eight or ten it's maybe you just always got the same ones like i can't i gun to my head i could give you like three different responses. Like ask again later and like signs point to yes. And honestly, that's it. And then there's 18 more apparently. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:13 So there's 10 affirmative, five noncommittal and five negative. Then that's not a very good fortune telling device. It seems like. Yes. Is it supposed to be evenly split? Which you can't do with 20 by the way well you could have like six yeses
Starting point is 00:23:30 six non-committals six no's and then like two jokes just one that says orange you glad I didn't say banana yeah wait one of the things is roll again is that one of the non-committal ones i guess uh reply hazy try again that's you're a fucking toy ball filled with juice delicious juice that all i ever wanted to do was drink it and know and know its properties you know what i
Starting point is 00:24:00 read and i don't know if this has always been true, but it is alcohol dyed blue. Oh, shit. So there probably were some scoundrels cracking one of these things open, drinking that sweet juice inside. Why does it have to be alcohol, though? I guess because water would evaporate. But alcohol evaporates faster than water, I think. Dang it. I wish I knew anything about chemistry or also anything um i i had one uh for a while and then i decided to paint it i wanted to paint
Starting point is 00:24:39 it like the globe and because i thought oh there's water inside it'll be kind of fun if it's like a globe and you shake it and you hear the water yeah uh but then you can't use it anymore you can't i guess if you paint you didn't paint over the hole did you yes i did hon i know why you know no i don't know um it's like the one part you could have painted the rest of it except for the hole. You know, I was dedicated to my art and I wanted. If you were dedicated to your art, you shouldn't have painted the hole. You never paint the hole. So, hey, Magic 8-Ball is connected to Cincinnati.
Starting point is 00:25:22 That doesn't surprise me. What are you basing that on? Just a, you know. You know. Listen, I lived to Cincinnati. That doesn't surprise me. What are you basing that on? Just a, you know. You know. Listen, I lived in Cincinnati. I can say this stuff about their chili and their proclivity for soothsaying toys. So the component,
Starting point is 00:25:38 the functional component of the Magic 8-Ball was invented by Albert Carter, who was inspired by a spirit writing device used by his mother, a Cincinnati clairvoyant. Okay, a spirit writing device. Yes. I don't know about that. So it was called the Psycho Slate.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Holy shit, yes. Holy shit. It was a small chalkboard inside of a sealed container. And when she met with a client, she would close the lid of the container, ask a question, and the room would fill with sounds of chalk. And then she'd open the container and there would be writing dictated by the spirits.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Oh, okay. Yeah. Does that mean that she would like shake the container with like a piece of chalk inside of it and then would like try to read what came out of it? Or,'s that seems like a lot to be like open up the box that seems more like a magic trick than any kind of sort of clairvoyant i'm guessing i'm guessing that she did not operate in isolation and perhaps there was somebody assisting her yeah that is my guess it's usually more abstract than that is all I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:26:46 The like, oh, did you hear that over the radio? It sounded to me like they were saying, biscuits, please. So we all know what that means. Have you ever been to like a fortune teller of any kind? I've never been to a fortune teller of any kind. I don't believe so. No. I had somebody do like a tarot reading
Starting point is 00:27:06 for me once but i'm like a hundred percent sure they bought them on amazon and did not know actually what it was they were doing and i am pretty sure actually i was their first one i haven't either i'm always surprised by like the number of people that have kind of invested in that you know it's rad like i'm i'm all for it is like it you know it's it's the kind of thing that you're curious about and it doesn't you know doesn't hurt you yeah and so i get it i'm just like i'll have a conversation with somebody and they're like oh yeah no i've totally done that and it surprises me yeah uh so so carter uh in 1944 created what he called the psycho seer which was a liquid filled tube divided in the center,
Starting point is 00:27:45 and there was a clear window which allowed a view of the dice that he placed in it. And so you would turn the tube upright, and then one of the die would raise, and so it was basically the Magic 8 ball, but it was a tube instead of a ball. Not as fun, I think we can all agree.
Starting point is 00:28:04 He presented it to a local cincinnati store owner and uh they started uh mass producing it we end up with the eight ball uh because he actually worked with a billiard company okay that's it that's like it's arbitrary the eight ball is not like the most prophetic of the billiard balls it's just that that's the one i guess it makes sense you couldn't do like a magic three ball like the three ball doesn't have a ton of significance in in in pool yeah they they didn't really realize it was a toy. Like, for a long time, they were, like, marketing it as, like, a paperweight kind of, like, not like a children's toy. Well, and let's be clear here. The Magic 8-Ball is not a toy.
Starting point is 00:28:55 It is not anything that anybody ever picks up and is like, Ah-ha-ha! Oh! Papa, pass it to me! Ah-ha! Oh, Papa, pass it to me. So the Psycho Seer was not doing particularly well. Because it's not as cool a name as Psycho Slate.
Starting point is 00:29:19 The fact that he changed it from Psycho Slate, which still gives me chills every time I hear it, is wild. Brunswick Billiards approached them and asked them to create a bill billiard shaped version of the Psycho Seer for a promotional campaign. Uh, in 1951, they began marketing the toy as the Magic 8 Ball with a retail price of $1.98. Okay. Uh, the redesigned product was an instant hit and the rest is history. I guess so. Man, I, there's some things in history that like you can say and then
Starting point is 00:29:47 it became an instant hit and then i'm like yeah but why though this is a juicy billiard ball that tells the future why is that that why is the juicy billiard ball the thing that people are like this is it that's why i like i was talking about cootie catchers and mash like when you're a kid like your whole life is in front of you and it seems like you have no control over anything right you know and and you don't necessarily trust what adults are telling you and so you look to the dark arts i guess uh yeah and also like how are you gonna out, you know, whether or not Brad likes you? Ask Brad or ask Brad's friends. Well, more like you'd have your friend ask Brad's friend and or fill out a piece of paper where the check yes or no. Or do what was sort of more common in my generation, which is like you make a very obscure, passive, aggressive AOL instant messenger away message that it might get through the grapevine
Starting point is 00:30:46 like hey I think Griffin's uh asking about what whoever there were so many um so the ones that you you didn't meant you forgot about outlook good and outlook not so good okay lazy which I had to kind of learn. I feel like I didn't really understand what Outlook meant. Like, what did that mean as a kid? I had no idea. It's just a noncommittal way for this ball to say things might be good.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Also, concentrate and ask again, which I feel like is kind of a... Yeah, it's your fault. Kind of a burn. It's your fault I fucked this up. I'm a ball. You're a person. So don't blame it on me.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Okay. I will just, I will provide a little guidance on the Magic 8 ball. Okay. Is there a good way to do it? You're not supposed to shake it. You just like turn it upside down? If you shake it, you get lots of bubbles. Oh.
Starting point is 00:31:37 And you're not supposed to do that. That's true about babies too. There's a lot of reasons not to shake the babies. And they tell you that in like Babies 101. But a big thing is bubbles. You do not want bubbles in there anywhere trust me on this one um in so apparently the bubble problem used to be like a bigger thing in 1975 they uh ideal toy company quote fix the bubble problem they patented a bubble-free dye agitator uh with an inverted funnel that rerouted the air trapped inside huh cool i'm glad i guess shake it i guess yeah shake it shake it up
Starting point is 00:32:12 it life's short shake the ball that's all i got all right that was fun that was a fun one it's one of those wild things i literally never thought about like how how did this big juicy billiard ball become a profit it doesn't and you explained it to me and to be honest i still don't understand but i'm closer it does seem strange to me that somebody would look at that tube that fortune telling tube and say that's perfect for my pool yeah brand this is a great tube you've made can you make it ball shaped a completely different three-dimensional geometric object uh hey thank you for listening thank you to bowen and augustus for these for a theme song money won't pay you find a link to that in the episode description uh and thank you again to everybody who came out in the max fun
Starting point is 00:33:01 drive seriously you all blew us away. We know times are shitty still. They were shitty last year as well. And both times you all came out to support us. Yeah, over 20,000 new and upgrading donors. Yeah. So seriously, thank you all so much. It is humbling and life-affirming. Yeah, thank you.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Hey, we have a lot of stuff at McElroy.family. A lot of other shows. Yeah. Got a lot of merch. A lot of fun merch. Yeah. That you can find there. And there's a ton of shows also at MaximumFun.org that you should check out.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Hopefully you tried out some new stuff during the MaxFun drive. But we encourage you to go support those shows too. There's a lot of great ones on the network like Fanti and Stop Podcasting Yourself and just a whole bunch of shows all at MaximumFun.org. Reading Glasses. Reading Glasses, of course, all at MaximumFun.org. And I think that's it.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Hope y'all are staying cool, having a cool summer. Hey, think some good thoughts for the St. Louis Blues this playoff season because they're going to need it. They're going to need it. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:34:14 They got Perron with the COVID, didn't they? Damn it. Damn it. What were we supposed to do? I actually got the call yesterday. Oh, are you going to play? Yeah, so I got to get up to St. Oh, are you going to play?
Starting point is 00:34:26 Yeah, so I got to get up to St. Louis, and they said, as long as Perron's got on COVID protocols, we need you to become our new top scorer. And I said, I've never played hockey, and I don't know how to ice skate, I don't think. And am I supposed to hold the stick this way with this hand or this way with this hand? And they were like, don't worry about it. You're also not much of a big boy.
Starting point is 00:34:46 They do favor a big boy, yeah, sure. But I'm fast. They would call you a little guy. They would call me a small boy. But I can probably do a great job. And I think I'm going to make you proud. I think I'm going to make your dad proud most of all. Bye, everybody. Bye. job and I think I'm gonna make you proud I think I'm gonna make your dad proud most of all bye everybody bye Money won't pay. Work it off. Money won't pay.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Work it off. Money won't pay. Work it off. Money won't pay. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. The 2021 pin sale has begun.
Starting point is 00:35:56 Thank you so much to everyone who participated in the MaxFunDrive. This is the last year for a while that we'll be doing pins for MaxFunDrive, and the fifth year that we'll be selling pins and donating all proceeds to charity. The past year proved what we already knew, that having access to the internet at home is a necessity for work, school, healthcare, and keeping in touch with family and friends. So the proceeds from this year's pin sale will go towards Everyone On, a nonprofit working to bridge the digital divide. We're grateful that with your support, we'll be able to help low-income folks gain access to affordable computers, internet services, and digital literacy programs. The sale will run until May 28th. Folks at the $10 monthly level and above will have access to all of the pins
Starting point is 00:36:41 from The Drive. That's 38 pins, one from every show on the network. We also have a special 2021 MaxFunDrive pin that all members can purchase. Go to MaximumFun.org slash pin sale for more info. And to learn more about Everyone On and support them directly, you can go to EveryoneOn.org.

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