Wonderful! - Wonderful! 181: Magic 8 Tube
Episode Date: May 19, 2021Griffin’s favorite hearty sweet breakfast food! Rachel’s favorite soothsaying toy!Music: “Money Won’t Pay” by bo en and Augustus – https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya Su...pport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate Support the AAPI Civic Engagement Fund: https://aapifund.org/ MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.
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Hi, this is Rachel McElroy.
Hello, this is Griffin McElroy.
And this is wonderful.
Thank you, everybody who supported us in the Maximum Fun Drive.
You know, we say maximum fun a lot of the times.
And if I'm being fully honest, and Jesse would hate me saying this.
Oh, here comes the bad boy.
For me, I can only usually hit like 94% fun, 93% fun.
And I guess for me, that upper echelon, that is my maximum fun.
But I got to say this year, against all odds, operating on one might say criminal levels of sleep.
One might say physically impossible to survive levels of sleep.
I hit it. Maximum fun this year. And when you you do hit it a beam of light shoots out of your chest can i yeah can i interject
did that did you do the beam of light or not no i i always get distracted when you talk about uh
the amount of sleep that you're getting yeah because. Because it is. It's more than you. Significantly more than me.
Right, yeah.
You're getting up, what, about every hour?
Yeah.
In the nighttime.
Yeah.
So you're seeing times on the clock
that are so bonkers, right?
Sometimes it hits 420
and I think about waking you up
just to say,
It's funny to see that.
Yeah, I've seen a 420 or two uh during this
stretch and it always i always bust up and i get like blazed to donk stone it's totally zooted out
of my fucking gourd and don't tell anybody about that though um because i don't think they want
you to do that when you got a baby but listen i i i'm so appreciative to our fans, to our friends, to our family, to our faith, to everything.
You all came out in a big way and supported us.
And year after year, you come out in a big way.
And it means so much.
And we'll never be able to thank you enough.
Yeah, a lot of really nice messages,
particularly about how this show
has been helpful to people
during this challenging year.
Yeah.
And that is nice to hear
because it is not always the easiest show to make
when times are tough.
And a lot of solidarity from parents of,
fellow parents of, let's say's say fart laden babies just babies who are heavy with farts
we're doing great though gus is is really turning it around but he turned it around 360 degrees
so it's right back to where we started which which is the toilet. But I don't know.
I'm feeling ready to do a podcast, aren't you?
Yeah. You got any – hey, this would be a good little way to – hey, this might be a good little way to kickstart things.
You got any small wonders?
Oh, man.
Oh, boy.
Uh-oh.
Will you go first?
Technology on my phone lets me play video games on my computer upstairs that's wild
to me i have i think i've talked about on this show before but like i can get on my phone and
play i've been playing mass effect uh which is like an old game that they just remastered been
playing it on my phone like downstairs uh you know in the middle of the night just like hanging out
and it's it's wild to me that i can do that my phone you know what i mean that's what i use for taking pictures and what's other things you can do with
a phone talk yeah and pictures look at pictures uh-huh and do uh see how many steps see how many
steps and do temperature yeah and a calculator okay you've given me a lot of time now.
Okay, good.
Cashew milk.
Okay, wow.
This feels like BS.
I love you.
This feels like BS to me.
I've never seen you drink cashew milk.
No, but it's in a lot of products that I enjoy.
I see.
I am learning now.
So for those of you keeping score,
I am off dairy.
I'm also now off soy again,
as per recommendation, because our babies have terrible digestive systems.
True, true, true.
Which I'm not going to say comes from a particular side of our family.
Yeah. It's mine. Sorry, for folks who are new to the show, it's mine. We're really bad at eating
food and digesting it without making terrible stuff happen.
And so I have this ice cream and then that butter.
Oh, that butter, though.
Both made with cashew milk.
It's a very rich kind of fatty milk.
Oh, it sure is.
Not like your almond milk.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no.
This is that chunky stuff.
Yeah. We're not going to say the brands
though because they didn't pay us hey do you want to know what my only thing is this week yes what
the thing is that i'm bringing yes please in this new truncated format that we're getting a lot of
positive feedback and a lot of buzz from the press saying that they love it and this is the only way
they want us to do the show from now on yes i want to talk about and this is a topic that's important to me and you can vouch for this sweet rolls sweet rolls
sweet i was going to do cinnamon rolls but i felt like it wasn't enough of a topic so i decided to
expand that out into sweet rolls i was confused because you were saying sweet rolls like it was
a tm thing and and i was thinking swiss rolls but i wouldn't know i'm
not talking about swiss swiss cake is like its own category of like rolled up cakes that's not
what i'm talking about in fact there's a there's a sort of quartet of uh baked goods that one would consume typically for breakfast, right?
You got your donuts.
You got your cakes, which I think like waffles and pancakes would like fall into that.
You have your pastries, right?
Your danishes, your what have yous.
And then you have your sweet rolls.
And boy, howdy, if I could only keep one of them and the other three had to get launched
into the sun.
Sorry, donut lovers.
For me, I got to keep the sweet rolls.
So what else is there besides a cinnamon roll in this category?
Cinnamon roll.
There's an orange roll.
There's a pecan roll, pecan swirls.
I would count honey buns in this category.
And I'm going to talk about all of these in depth.
Chelsea buns, those thingies with the currants and nuts on them.
Can I request that you start calling me Honey Buns?
You can certainly request it
and I will file the motion
through the correct legislative bodies
and we'll whip up support for it
and see what we can get going.
But if I'm gonna be honest,
things are really tough right now
in the House of uh mcelroy
representatives especially when it comes to pet names they've been so divisive like pet names are
the third rail of household politics yeah i mean i guess you call me honey yeah and sometimes i
i look at you and i yell but um i think they are you know me like i'm big into a handheld food yes that i just re-watched the
lord of the rings movies and there's this thing in sort of the tolkien verse called i think it's
called limbus bread it's elven bread and the whole thing is that you take a bite of it and it's like
eating a whole meal so they give them to the hobbits when they go on their big quest so that they can you know save room in
their backpacks and to me a two bite cinnamon roll is basically that like a two bite cinnamon roll
fills me up so good which is wild because i know how many bites of food i just ate and also do you
actually eat it in two bites? No.
I wonder who they're thinking of when they call that a two bite.
Oh, I don't know.
Not me.
I do it in one big monster bite.
You called me out.
I can't believe it. I'm so embarrassed.
The longest running Christmas tradition that our family has,plicably is that every Christmas morning,
we eat cinnamon rolls and orange rolls. We've done this every year. Of course, you've noticed
it. You've done it now like 11 times or however many Christmases we've spent together. I don't
know why that tradition got started. I'm not complaining. So for me, I think that there is
probably a bit of a like, you know, neurons connecting, like, positive memories with cinnamon rolls and orange rolls.
They're positive to every sense, right?
Except hearing.
I don't think one hears, like, a cinnamon roll or an orange roll or a pecan roll and is like, hmm.
Hey, sidebar, did you ever go to Ann Sather in Chicago?
Ann Sather?
Are they the ones that make the big boys?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. big boys yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah oh my gosh that oh the big boys so i i wanted to say and you really i'm sorry my shit's all
mixed up there is a there's a limit to my love okay and that limit is like a cinnabon and an
and sathers and sathers is fine if it's like this is what i'm doing today but like cinnabon and an ann sathers ann sathers is fine if it's like this is what i'm doing today
but like cinnabon i will walk by a cinnabon at an airport and be like the smell is so outrageous
are like five pounds but you eat one and it's like you miss your flight because you fell asleep
wherever you were standing at the moment where you started to eat the cinnabon there's like a
an event horizon of cinnabon that when you've eaten too much of it, your body stops functioning.
Yeah.
And maybe it'll start functioning again later.
Maybe you have died is the other thing.
So Cinnabon for me is a little too much of a good thing.
No, that's fair.
But in a house, you wake up in the morning and you got one of them Pillsbury cans and you pop those open which
is scary that's probably the worst part of the cinnamon roll experience for me is that you have
to basically just diffuse a bomb yeah and there's not a great way to do it they say unwrap the
wrapper put a little spoon on it push the spoon to pop still scary every time and I cry I do cry every time.
And you've been worried about me in the past, I think, when you came into the kitchen and see me crying over the cinnamon rolls.
Yeah, I said, Griffin, are you cutting onions?
And you're like, no, I had to open cinnamon rolls.
Right.
The way my brain thinks about breakfast foods is broken.
And I think that that's probably true for a vast majority of Americans, where when I see a donut, I'm like, well, that's a dessert that we have
made acceptable to eat. Exactly. And the breakfast times, or when I see a sugary cereal, it's like,
I've put away my childish things. I can't because of all the sugar in you. But when I see a sweet
bun or a sweet roll of any variety, of any stripe, it's like,
ah, there it is. The reasonable, the thinking man's breakfast breads, even though it's probably
not even remotely healthier. Yeah, I've noticed that line that we arbitrarily draw, because a
lot of times Henry will ask for fruit snacks in the morning, and we'll say, no, no, you can't have that for breakfast.
But have these Fruity Pebbles,
which are small, crunchy fruit snacks, essentially.
But these have been endorsed by the Flintstones
and they know health.
Are Fruity Pebbles technically part of the paleo diet?
It's food for thought, huh?
Didn't think about that.
These are the tough questions.
What has happened to you? That's a good thought, huh? Didn't think about that. These are the tough questions. What has happened to you?
That's a good question that nobody's asking. Are Flintstones vitamins part of the paleo diet?
Oh my gosh. This would be perfect if you were doing this show with Travis McElroy.
You're right.
But I'm sorry you're not.
I'm happy to be doing it with you. You take me down so many delightful roads on this show. You
think Travis knows anything about poetry? He does not. I can pretty much guarantee that. So to dial in on the cinnamon
rolls specifically for a moment, although again, I love all types of rolls. My mom used to make
pecan rolls at home with like white raisins in them. Oh boy, you got a lot of nuts and
fruit and stuff in there. And it just excited me every time.
Raisins are a thing that people put in cinnamon rolls,
which I don't know how I feel about that in general.
I feel like the cinnamon roll is pretty good to go already.
Anyway, cinnamon rolls.
It's a very popular food across Europe and North America.
Although we are, get this,
usually the only ones that slather them in icing
and cream cheese frosting, if you can believe that.
Apparently they run a little bit spicier up in Canada.
Up in Canada, they run a spicy.
They use a lot more cinnamon.
And so it's spicy to eat them.
I thought you were talking about like a savory spice, like a little cayenne.
I thought you were talking about like a savory spice, like a little cayenne.
Oh, no, but this is the thing that I read where I was like, okay, now I do want to talk about this because I love my beautiful Midwestern wife.
And she may have some knowledge of this.
And if so, I want to drill down into it to sort of.
There's a Midwestern tradition.
I've seen it in Kansas, Nebraska, andowa where cinnamon rolls are frequently paired with chili no i don't know anything about this it's a thing that a lot of people are very strong
advocates for i would say most of those people it's on the side and you eat some of the savory
chili and then you have some of the sweet cinnamon roll and then there are some people who i will call ghouls yeah that do a dip situation into it i have never heard
of this uh it it shattered me because i there's a fragment of my soul that hears that and is like
that sounds actually like something I would definitely do.
I mean, a lot of people put kind of sweet stuff in chili, like cinnamon and.
Sweet potatoes.
It's right there in the tin.
Yeah.
But it's, this is a, this is a, woof.
This is a quite a pairing, huh?
Yeah.
I, I, St. Louis tends to kind of skew differently than a lot of the Midwest.
So it's possible that this exists in Missouri,
but I have never heard of it.
Okay.
Well, all our Nebraskan and Iowan and Kansan, Kansasan.
I'm curious how Ohio feels about this
because I know they have strong chili beliefs.
They have terrible chili beliefs.
And I can say this because I lived in West Virginia,
which is basically Ohio and lived in Ohio for a year
and have had a lot of exposure to Skyline Chili, both externally and internal exposure to Skyline Chili.
And I don't claim that.
I don't claim that as my heritage because it's not good chili.
But I just a sweet roll really gets me there.
Oh, God, we had a vending machine in our high school.
First of all, we had a Fruitopia vending machine in our high school, which is fucking nuts.
I've talked about that before.
90s kids now.
Except I didn't go to high school in the 90s.
This was like 2004.
We got a Fruitopia machine.
It's like, it's 2004.
What are we doing?
Who's the Fruitopia vendor that's like driving up the hill to our high school to refill the fruitopia vending machine once a year because nobody's buying fruitopia must have been a heavily discounted
option for your school they must have had a budget set aside for vending machines and they said what
could we get for this much and they said well i think we still have a fruit but there were copious
vending machines with honey buns in them and i probably spent i would say four hundred dollars
on honey buns just throughout my matriculation at Huntington
High School
I like a hearty food and I like a sweet
breakfast food and I feel like
sweet buns are
what bridges that gap beautifully
and also I want to close this out by saying
in Finland and in Sweden they celebrate
cinnamon bun day
on October 4th so mark our
calendars because that's when we're gonna maybe
that's when we do our chili dive whoo whoo i know you make a good chili pillsbury makes a good
cinnamon roll yeah we bring them both together and if it doesn't work we never talk about it
ever again we never admit to it we never tell anybody this i imagine will be one of those
segments where we get a lot of posts in the Facebook group of people like, y'all don't even know.
It's heavenly.
We'll see.
But you got a long road to hoe if you're going to convince me of that.
I just pictured a bread bowl, but it's a cinnamon roll and you put chili inside.
Now I'm back.
I've actually circled back around.
Actually, no, wait.
I'm thinking about the consistency of that bread after the chili has sat in it for eight seconds.
And I'm not I'm actually circled right back around.
Gross.
Yuck.
No, thanks.
Can I steal you away?
Yes.
Hey, we have a couple of jumbled brands here, and I would love to read this first one, if it's okay with you.
Please.
This first one's for Joseph, and it's from Risa, who says,
Hi Joseph, we met on a garbage app during a garbage year full of garbage things, but our love is not garbage and is definitely wonderful.
Here's to more recipes cooked together, cuddles, and tats on the couch, and way more adventures to places that aren't our homes. You make me so happy. Love, your first and
only boyfriend, Riza. Oh, man. When you think of people listening to Taz... Always on the couch.
I just, like, I always assume people listen when they're doing other things. No, though, no,
not Taz. They turn the lights off. They sit in a dark room.
They can sit next to somebody like Joseph and Reza,
but I know that they're keeping it absolutely silent at respecting the art.
Honestly, I have tried to listen while doing other things,
and I get very lost.
Yeah.
Very often.
We're all so rich as the tapestry we weave.
Can I read the next one?
Okay.
This is for Jack and Ryan,
and it is from Jeremy!
Hey there, Jack and Ryan, and it is from Jeremy! Hey there, Jack and Ryan.
Bet you didn't expect to see me here.
Well, maybe you did.
I'm sure you don't have much expectations anymore.
We've just passed the 50th episode of our podcast,
and it's been so much fun doing this with you both.
Can't wait to hit it big and leave you suckers behind.
With love and beans on the stove jeremy i respect and
appreciate jeremy's restraint for not trying to drop that plug yeah people have tried people have
tried oh boy unless wait what if their podcast is called beans on the stove sneaky damn it they got
us again 50 episodes though that's pretty significant. That is.
That's, yeah, I mean, you're rounding that year mark, and that's when you start getting the big bucks.
That's when you get a signed letter from Marc Maron in the mail congratulating you on your diligence.
And a coupon for a hug and a head scratch.
That's right.
Mm-hmm.
We have wasted this world.
Our magic put a storm in the sky that has rendered the surface of our planet uninhabitable.
But beneath the surface, well, that's another story entirely.
In a city built leagues below the apocalypse, survivors of the storm forge paths
through a strange new world. Some seek salvation for their homeland above. Others seek to chart
the vast undersea expanse outside the city's walls. And others still seek, what else? Fortune
and glory. Dive into the Aether Sea, the latest campaign from the Adventure Zone,
every other Thursday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Hey, what's your thing you want to talk about this time, huh?
What is it?
All getting out the laptop, huh?
Ooh, opening up Nexus Lexus.
Got some peer-reviewed research that we want to talk about.
Did you say Nexus Lexus?
Is it Lexus Nexus?
Pretty sure it's the other way around.
It's not a good name for a service, regardless.
That's fair.
They should call it Surcho.
And you can have that Nexus Lexus.
You can use it because Lexus is already a car thing.
The quality you're bringing to the show today is like it's like griffin's kooky cousin this is what
i've brought to every podcast recording i've done in the last six weeks so i don't know what you
want from me uh so i also was looking for kind of a big category like your sweet roll yeah um because what i found myself looking at a lot was like
uh children's fortune tellers kind of okay like a cootie catcher yeah so i looked a little bit
into the cootie catcher and mash i looked at mash too um what i settled on talking about though was
the magic eight ball this is good we should also clarify that talking
about cootie catcher and mash in the age of when everybody is born sort of with a smartphone in
their hand is probably buck wild because i'd be willing to bet there's a lot of our listeners who
have no idea what we just talked about so the cootie catcher is like an origami folded handheld like little pincher toy where you move your fingers to move the catcher and people guess numbers.
It's impossible to describe this thing.
It is.
And then you like unfold a flap on the number they pick to like reveal a fortune.
And MASH, if you listen to Janet Janet Varney show, you know about it.
She does it with all our guests.
That's right.
But it,
it was a way to predict kind of where you would end up living and who you
would marry and what kind of car you would drive.
And it was a lot of like,
kind of like fortune telling basically,
but,
but not as sinister as maybe some fortune telling
seemed to be to kids.
Like the Ouija board
was a little more controversial,
I think.
That was less fortune telling
and more communing with the dead.
But yeah, I understand.
But yeah,
I wanted to talk about
the magic eight ball.
Did you?
Of course, yeah.
I had a magic eight ball.
I think I had like a Yoda
magic eight ball
where like the dice would come up and it would be like, did you of course yeah i had a magic eight ball i think i had like a yoda magic eight ball or like
the dice would come up and it would be like uh in for in in for good in for good good tidings
thou art that sounded more like the bible than yoda but the voice was good i was very impressed
with the voice yeah thank you uh so the magic eight ball the standard
one has 20 possible answers uh wait what yeah it's a 20 sided dice inside of it i never knew
that yeah i think i just assumed it was like eight or ten it's maybe you just always got the same ones
like i can't i gun to my head i could give you like three different responses. Like ask again later and like signs point to yes.
And honestly, that's it.
And then there's 18 more apparently.
Yeah.
So there's 10 affirmative, five noncommittal and five negative.
Then that's not a very good fortune telling device.
It seems like.
Yes.
Is it supposed to be evenly split?
Which you can't do with 20 by the way
well you could have like
six yeses
six non-committals six
no's and then like two jokes
just one that says orange you glad I didn't say
banana yeah wait one of
the things is roll again is that
one of the non-committal ones
i guess uh reply hazy try again that's you're a fucking toy ball filled with juice delicious
juice that all i ever wanted to do was drink it and know and know its properties you know what i
read and i don't know if this has always been true, but it is alcohol dyed blue.
Oh, shit.
So there probably were some scoundrels cracking one of these things open, drinking that sweet juice inside.
Why does it have to be alcohol, though?
I guess because water would evaporate.
But alcohol evaporates faster than water, I think.
Dang it.
I wish I knew anything about chemistry or also anything um i i had one uh for a while and then i decided to paint it i wanted to paint
it like the globe and because i thought oh there's water inside it'll be kind of fun if it's like a globe
and you shake it and you hear the water yeah uh but then you can't use it anymore you can't i
guess if you paint you didn't paint over the hole did you yes i did hon i know why you know no i
don't know um it's like the one part you could have painted the rest of it except for the hole.
You know, I was dedicated to my art and I wanted.
If you were dedicated to your art, you shouldn't have painted the hole.
You never paint the hole.
So, hey, Magic 8-Ball is connected to Cincinnati.
That doesn't surprise me.
What are you basing that on? Just a, you know. You know. Listen, I lived to Cincinnati. That doesn't surprise me. What are you basing that on?
Just a, you know.
You know.
Listen, I lived in Cincinnati.
I can say this stuff about their chili
and their proclivity for soothsaying toys.
So the component,
the functional component of the Magic 8-Ball
was invented by Albert Carter,
who was inspired by a spirit writing device used by his mother,
a Cincinnati clairvoyant.
Okay, a spirit writing device.
Yes.
I don't know about that.
So it was called the Psycho Slate.
Holy shit, yes.
Holy shit.
It was a small chalkboard inside of a sealed container.
And when she met with a client, she would close the lid of the container,
ask a question,
and the room would fill with sounds of chalk.
And then she'd open the container
and there would be writing dictated by the spirits.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Does that mean that she would like shake the container
with like a piece of chalk inside of it
and then would like try to read what came out of it? Or,'s that seems like a lot to be like open up the box that seems
more like a magic trick than any kind of sort of clairvoyant i'm guessing i'm guessing that she
did not operate in isolation and perhaps there was somebody assisting her yeah that is my guess
it's usually more abstract than that is all I'm saying.
The like, oh, did you hear that over the radio?
It sounded to me like they were saying, biscuits, please.
So we all know what that means.
Have you ever been to like a fortune teller of any kind?
I've never been to a fortune teller of any kind.
I don't believe so.
No.
I had somebody do like a tarot reading
for me once but i'm like a hundred percent sure they bought them on amazon and did not know
actually what it was they were doing and i am pretty sure actually i was their first
one i haven't either i'm always surprised by like the number of people that have kind of invested
in that you know it's rad like i'm i'm all for it is like it you know it's it's the kind of thing
that you're curious about and it doesn't you know doesn't hurt you yeah and so i get it i'm just
like i'll have a conversation with somebody and they're like oh yeah no i've totally done that
and it surprises me yeah uh so so carter uh in 1944 created what he called the psycho seer
which was a liquid filled tube divided in the center,
and there was a clear window
which allowed a view of the dice
that he placed in it.
And so you would turn the tube upright,
and then one of the die would raise,
and so it was basically the Magic 8 ball,
but it was a tube instead of a ball.
Not as fun, I think we can all agree.
He presented it to a local
cincinnati store owner and uh they started uh mass producing it we end up with the eight ball
uh because he actually worked with a billiard company okay that's it that's like it's arbitrary the eight ball is not like
the most prophetic of the billiard balls it's just that that's the one i guess it makes sense
you couldn't do like a magic three ball like the three ball doesn't have a ton of significance in
in in pool yeah they they didn't really realize it was a toy. Like, for a long time, they were, like, marketing it as, like, a paperweight kind of, like, not like a children's toy.
Well, and let's be clear here.
The Magic 8-Ball is not a toy.
It is not anything that anybody ever picks up and is like,
Ah-ha-ha!
Oh!
Papa, pass it to me!
Ah-ha!
Oh, Papa, pass it to me.
So the Psycho Seer was not doing particularly well.
Because it's not as cool a name as Psycho Slate.
The fact that he changed it from Psycho Slate, which still gives me chills every time I hear it, is wild.
Brunswick Billiards approached them and asked them to create a bill billiard shaped version of the Psycho Seer for a promotional campaign.
Uh, in 1951, they began marketing the toy as the Magic 8 Ball with a retail price of
$1.98.
Okay.
Uh, the redesigned product was an instant hit and the rest is history.
I guess so.
Man, I, there's some things in history that like you can say and then
it became an instant hit and then i'm like yeah but why though this is a juicy billiard ball that
tells the future why is that that why is the juicy billiard ball the thing that people are like
this is it that's why i like i was talking about cootie catchers and mash like when you're a kid like your
whole life is in front of you and it seems like you have no control over anything right you know
and and you don't necessarily trust what adults are telling you and so you look to the dark arts
i guess uh yeah and also like how are you gonna out, you know, whether or not Brad likes you? Ask Brad or ask Brad's friends.
Well, more like you'd have your friend ask Brad's friend and or fill out a piece of paper where the check yes or no.
Or do what was sort of more common in my generation, which is like you make a very obscure, passive, aggressive AOL instant messenger away message that it might get through the grapevine
like hey I think Griffin's uh asking about what whoever there were so many
um so the ones that you you didn't meant you forgot about outlook good and outlook not so good
okay lazy which I had to kind of learn.
I feel like I didn't really understand what Outlook meant.
Like, what did that mean as a kid?
I had no idea.
It's just a noncommittal way for this ball
to say things might be good.
Also, concentrate and ask again,
which I feel like is kind of a...
Yeah, it's your fault.
Kind of a burn.
It's your fault I fucked this up.
I'm a ball.
You're a person.
So don't blame it on me.
Okay.
I will just, I will provide a little guidance on the Magic 8 ball.
Okay.
Is there a good way to do it?
You're not supposed to shake it.
You just like turn it upside down?
If you shake it, you get lots of bubbles.
Oh.
And you're not supposed to do that.
That's true about babies too.
There's a lot of reasons not to shake the babies.
And they tell you that in like Babies 101.
But a big thing is bubbles. You do not want bubbles in there anywhere trust me on this one
um in so apparently the bubble problem used to be like a bigger thing in 1975 they uh
ideal toy company quote fix the bubble problem they patented a bubble-free dye agitator uh with an inverted funnel that
rerouted the air trapped inside huh cool i'm glad i guess shake it i guess yeah shake it shake it up
it life's short shake the ball that's all i got all right that was fun that was a fun one it's
one of those wild things i literally never thought about like how how did this big juicy billiard ball become a
profit it doesn't and you explained it to me and to be honest i still don't understand but
i'm closer it does seem strange to me that somebody would look at that tube that fortune
telling tube and say that's perfect for my pool yeah brand this is a great tube you've made can you make it ball
shaped a completely different three-dimensional geometric object uh hey thank you for listening
thank you to bowen and augustus for these for a theme song money won't pay you find a link to
that in the episode description uh and thank you again to everybody who came out in the max fun
drive seriously you all blew us away. We know times are shitty still.
They were shitty last year as well.
And both times you all came out to support us.
Yeah, over 20,000 new and upgrading donors.
Yeah.
So seriously, thank you all so much.
It is humbling and life-affirming.
Yeah, thank you.
Hey, we have a lot of stuff at McElroy.family.
A lot of other shows.
Yeah.
Got a lot of merch.
A lot of fun merch.
Yeah.
That you can find there.
And there's a ton of shows also at MaximumFun.org that you should check out.
Hopefully you tried out some new stuff during the MaxFun drive.
But we encourage you to go support those shows too.
There's a lot of great ones on the network
like Fanti and Stop Podcasting Yourself
and just a whole bunch of shows all at MaximumFun.org.
Reading Glasses.
Reading Glasses, of course, all at MaximumFun.org.
And I think that's it.
Hope y'all are staying cool,
having a cool summer.
Hey, think some good thoughts
for the St. Louis Blues
this playoff season
because they're going to need it.
They're going to need it.
Oh, boy.
They got Perron with the COVID,
didn't they?
Damn it.
Damn it.
What were we supposed to do?
I actually got the call yesterday.
Oh, are you going to play?
Yeah, so I got to get up to St. Oh, are you going to play?
Yeah, so I got to get up to St. Louis,
and they said, as long as Perron's got on COVID protocols, we need you to become our new top scorer.
And I said, I've never played hockey,
and I don't know how to ice skate, I don't think.
And am I supposed to hold the stick this way with this hand
or this way with this hand?
And they were like, don't worry about it.
You're also not much of a big boy.
They do favor a big boy, yeah, sure.
But I'm fast.
They would call you a little guy.
They would call me a small boy.
But I can probably do a great job.
And I think I'm going to make you proud.
I think I'm going to make your dad proud most of all.
Bye, everybody. Bye. job and I think I'm gonna make you proud I think I'm gonna make your dad proud most of all bye everybody bye Money won't pay. Work it off. Money won't pay.
Work it off.
Money won't pay.
Work it off.
Money won't pay.
Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture.
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The 2021 pin sale has begun.
Thank you so much to everyone who participated in the MaxFunDrive.
This is the last year for a while that we'll be doing pins for MaxFunDrive,
and the fifth year that we'll be selling pins and donating all proceeds to charity.
The past year proved what we already knew, that having access to the internet at home is a necessity for work, school, healthcare, and keeping in touch with family and friends.
So the proceeds from this year's pin sale will go towards Everyone On, a nonprofit working to bridge the digital divide.
We're grateful that with your support, we'll be able to help low-income folks gain access to
affordable computers, internet services, and digital literacy programs. The sale will run
until May 28th. Folks at the $10 monthly level and above will have access to all of the pins
from The Drive. That's 38 pins, one from every show on the network. We also have a special 2021 MaxFunDrive pin
that all members can purchase.
Go to MaximumFun.org slash pin sale for more info.
And to learn more about Everyone On
and support them directly,
you can go to EveryoneOn.org.