Wonderful! - Wonderful! 221: Bouncy Business

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

Griffin’s favorite rebound tumbler! Rachel’s favorite enthusiastic breakfast!Music: “Money Won’t Pay” by bo en and Augustus – https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoyaThe Natio...nal Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum: https://www.napawf.org/aboutHarmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/ MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is wonderful. Taking it slower today. Do you like this vibe? The energy is tricky for me. Why? Because you're all business.
Starting point is 00:00:38 And you have to go. You're like, let's get through this so I can get back to real business. And I'm just chilling. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but that voice for me seems slightly seductive. Oh, wow. I don't think I have ever employed this voice. Like, hey, Rachel. So you're telling me when I come at you with a sort of slow hand,
Starting point is 00:01:04 you assume that I'm trying to get me some? Maybe it's the slowness and the register you're in right now. The vocal fry is kind of suggestive. This is wonderful. Shall we talk about things we like, things that are good, things we're into, things that are wonderful. That's why it's called that. Oh, hey, we figured it out.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Do you have a small wonder? Because I would love to hear about the small wonder you have. I like that. I like that fish noise that you make. That's my small wonder. It's fun to do. It's fun to do. It is fun to do. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:49 It's fun to make noises sometimes. I bet Michael Winslow is just always sort of like so happy. I can't reference him anymore, can I? Because it's been a million years. Yeah, I don't think that registers with anybody. I think even people our age and older don't know who he is. Like I've not seen the Police Academy films. No, you haven't think that registers with anybody. I think even people our age and older don't know who he is. Like, I've not seen the Police Academy films. No, you haven't.
Starting point is 00:02:07 No, so it feels disingenuous for me to reference. I don't think I've seen an entire one, but they used to show them on Comedy Central all the time. All the fucking time. I catch, like, a part of it. You would turn on Comedy Central, like, let's see if we can jack into some South Park, but then you'd see Steve Guttenberg's fucking face,
Starting point is 00:02:24 and you'd be like, this isn't what I wanted park but then you'd see steve gutenberg's fucking face and you'd be like this isn't what i wanted but then you'd see michael winslow like and you're like never mind i'll stick around for it for this guy uh i came up with something while you were talking about michael winslow yeah good uh so after you mentioned the graphic novels yeah uh we got a lot of people reaching out to us saying like, Hey, have you read this one? You should try that one. And it was just great to be part of this community. Just recommending children's literature.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Really excellent. Yeah. I'm excited to, uh, continue to broaden our literary horizons. Yeah. It's, it's kind of darling in a way, but a lot of times Henry, like all kids, will be like, ooh, bedtime. And then I'll be like, I got you a new book. And then he will literally run towards the stairs.
Starting point is 00:03:11 It's very sweet. It's very cute. Yeah. I've been reading a lot lately. Yeah, hey, me too. It's nice. At bedtime, we both, we get in the bed and we both pull out our literature
Starting point is 00:03:23 and it's really, it's nice. I've been reading a lot more like fantasy fiction um because i don't know i just have like an insatiable appetite for it now and i just read the uh a trilogy well apparently it's more than a trilogy i found out after finishing the third book but from an author named brandon sanderson called miss born that's been so good it's a big popular fantasy trilogy of big ass books. I read them real fast because they're really good. And now I want more. Are they so big because of the,
Starting point is 00:03:52 like the world building? Yes. Okay. So it's just like, Hey, here it's not tree. It's tro. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:59 That's more or less what they do. And the tro's have roots up top and branches down low well yeah that's that's an example it sounds a little dr seuss now that i'm saying a little bit actually i think you did rhyme i go first this week okay i'm gonna talk about the trampoline i had the thought last time you recorded of like i should talk about the trampoline and then um i forgot but now i'm doing it now because the trampoline is a is a miracle it's a miraculous invention here here is a quick quick question up top yeah did you feel this way before we purchased one or do you feel it now that you have one in our backyard i felt it before i feel it even more now because I thought of the trampoline as a sort of exotic.
Starting point is 00:04:47 I would get excited if I ever saw a trampoline and had the opportunity to get up on it, right? Yeah. Because you can jump really high on these things. And that's exciting. I can't jump very high in like my normal day-to-day life. But on a trampoline, it's made possible. So for you, your primary love of it does not come from the fact that it wears out our sun? That is actually no.
Starting point is 00:05:12 I will never love it for any reason more than the fact that it wears out our sun. Okay. We have been looking for ways to get sort of more physical activity in our routine, specifically for Henry, because we have like virtually no yard and we live on like a super hilly neighborhood
Starting point is 00:05:33 where there's, you know, it's not the easiest to just go outside and scamper. And though we live in Texas, we have not yet signed Big Son up for sports of any kind. No. And darn it, wouldn't you know know they're letting him take naps at school yeah he's in a in a montessori classroom with age three to five so obviously the three-year-olds napping is very much a thing five-year-old not so much but then he just started napping so he's like
Starting point is 00:06:00 into the nap and he gets home and he's just just super charged and if we do not wear him out he will not go to sleep yes trampoline is here to help us out with that it's clutch man it's very safe the one that we got not as expensive as i would have assumed it was like 200 bucks for like a big like i think 14 or 12 foot trampoline because when you're a kid like the only people that had trampoline were rich friends yeah they also had like the cable with all the channels. Right, exactly. 200 bucks is nothing to sneeze at, but well worth it for the amount of sleepy child energy that we've gotten. Well, and they are.
Starting point is 00:06:36 They're much safer now than they used to be. Yeah. Like you can't really buy one without that big net around the sides. There's a big enclosure that sort of is standard. The springs aren't exposed. Springs are not exposed, which is wonderful. I would say my main sort of injuries I have received from trampolines in my life is from getting pinched by those springs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:55 My buddy, Demo, who lived on the opposite end of the block from me, had a trampoline, but it didn't have an enclosure because it was the 90s. from me had a trampoline with but it didn't have an enclosure because it was the 90s and the number of injuries sustained on that thing uh is is sort of wild i smashed my nose and had like the worst sort of bloody nose situation i've ever had uh with my own knee like i just like bounced on my butt and my foot hit first and my knee just like blasted into my nose and really messed it up. A girl dislocated her shoulder on it one time and had to go to the emergency room. But it was, you know, you could jump really high. So it was still like, that wasn't enough to destroy us. Yeah, I would say I imagine the more you age, the more trampolines become dangerous.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Because right now, like Big Son, he right now like big son he just like he just bounces he just that's all he did no stunts no like five other kids on there with him no uh it really is exclusively just for him and you to chase each other around a circle little son gets in there too though and it's very's just, he's down for whatever. You can pop him around and he's like, yeah, man, whatever. He's a tough little nugget. It's also just kind of a fun little space to be in when you're outside. Like it's up off the ground.
Starting point is 00:08:18 So there's no ants. And you can just, a lot of the time we'll just go out there with some toys and just like play with toys out on the trampoline. We'll throw a soccer ball in there and forget about it. Yeah, that is an activity in itself. We have a lot of games that we play. The one that Henry likes the most is Burglar, where he has caught me burglarizing his house and his toys,
Starting point is 00:08:42 and he throws the ball at me while I try to jump out of the way. And sometimes he hits me with the freeze beam and then I do have to stop and then he just throws a ball at me. And that part's not as fun for me. I didn't know kids knew the word burglar. I mean, Henry's a very smart child.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Well, it just seems like a word that's not really used frequently anymore. Yeah, he These kids today. You're like, oh yeah, man, last night our house was burgled. Well, it means different things, right? Like burglary and robbery are two. I had to learn this in my... Oh, I didn't know that. I thought they were interchangeable. No, I had to learn this for my reporting classes at the J school.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Cause there's different, there's different crimes. I think robbery is, and I mean, this is like also like criminal law. Yeah. They're different crimes. I think robbery is when someone's home,
Starting point is 00:09:40 but burglary is when you steal people's shit from their house and they're not home. So I think that's, I think's right still though still though still though still you don't go on like a website and somebody's like hey i've started to go fund me because i was burgled right yeah it's a funny word objectively okay it sounds like burger yeah yeah um it's also good for confidence building i feel like because it's like you don't have to be afraid of falling down if you're a little kid and you're in there because you can just like you will bounce right back up has he tried the butt bounce yet once or twice once or twice how does he feel about it it's hard to fight that instinct to like put
Starting point is 00:10:21 your hands below you and like catch yourself that way. To just catch it full butt is, you know, it's we're working on it. It's hard because like Griffin demonstrated that for me and was like, oh, we are we are too old and big to be doing this. So it's hard to like show Henry the butt bounce and not put your own self at risk. Right. The origins of the trampoline. It's hard to sort of pin down the exact one because people have been tossing people into the air with blankets for a very long time. I think in Don Quixote, there's a bit where Sancho Panza is thrown in the air
Starting point is 00:10:55 with a blanket as like a punishment. But this is obviously a different thing. Also, firefighters, like old-timey firefighters in the 19th century used to use those, what were called life nets, which were essentially just a bunch of people pulled a thing, taught, and would catch people. Can you imagine trusting a group of human beings that much that you're like, yeah, I'll jump out of this burning chicago high rise and you guys are going to hold that blanket real tight right guys yeah but not so tight that i bounce right off of it and go yeah that's another big concern um so circus performers were using sort of various bouncy things for their business their bouncy business for a long time picturing like a little
Starting point is 00:11:43 briefcase with a fold-out trampoline i'm thinking i'm talking more about like springboards right which is a totally different thing uh they're by the way i'm sorry i'm no please i'm real jacked up on this trampoline idea yeah i was just thinking like you know those little like places for kids one of them should be called bouncy business bouncy business is a great would be a great name for that uh there's there's like circus folklore that attributes the invention of the trampoline to a an aerialist artist named do trampoline oh my gosh uh who utilized the like trapeze safety net for fun instead of safety uh and this is made up like there is literally no documented evidence of
Starting point is 00:12:27 a performer named du trampoline who did such a thing the real origins of the like what we know is the trampoline uh was created by george nissen and larry grizzled um or perhaps grizzwald yeah it is grizzwald that's a typo on my fault. My fault, guys. And they were gymnasts at the University of Iowa in the 1930s. And they learned sort of in the du trampoline style that trapeze artists had sort of these specialized safety nets that they used for specifically new trapeze artists that were more sort of forgiving. And they were essentially just like tarps with grommets running along the edge of it, which is essentially, you know, what a trampoline is or would eventually become. And so they started to workshop a sort of toy version of it, not even a toy version of it,
Starting point is 00:13:28 right? Because they were using it for gymnastics and different sporting events. But they trademarked it trampoline, which is Spanish for diving board, apparently. But they anglicized it and trademarked it and opened up the Griswold nissen trampolining trampoline and tumbling company in 1942 uh trampoline was a trademark right like band-aid and so the generic it used to be it's not anymore but the generic word that they used for like the concept or the sport was rebound tumbling which i actually think i like more yeah Yeah, I can see that. But like, what did you call the surface? What do you mean? Well, if trampoline is trademark,
Starting point is 00:14:10 then what are you jumping on if you can't call it a trampoline? A rebound tumbler. Oh, the surface was called a rebound tumbler. I thought the act of doing it was called a... It was both. It was both things. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Sort of like how a trampoline is called a trampoline, but if you bounce on it, it's trampolining. Yes. Oh, okay. Essentially, it's the same thing. I just think trampolines rule. From a physics standpoint, they're fascinating because it's not the mat itself that stretches and launches you. It is the springs that surround the mat.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Yeah, there's nothing inherently bouncy about that tarp surface no and what what happens is that the springs store potential energy as you push down into them and then translates it into kinetic energy as that launches you back up into the air yeah that's fascinating to me yeah it's it there's so much rhythm involved in it too. That's the one thing like that's been kind of hard to communicate to Henry is that when you are bouncing with somebody that is much bigger than you, how you like. You have to match their footfalls. How you can time it so you really get the advantage of it and not just like minimal
Starting point is 00:15:22 bounce. Yeah. I love the trampoline. It's good. The static like minimal bounce. Yeah. I love the trampoline. It's good. The static electricity is fun. You get a lot of wild sort of Doc Brown hair going,
Starting point is 00:15:33 which I love. Yeah. Thanks, trampolines. And thanks, Mr. Nissen and Griswold for your bouncy stuff. Can I see you wait? Yes.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Got a couple bubble bubbles here in this first one's for Jeff and it's from Clarice who says, hi babe. I hope this message plays on a car ride to get French fries and milkshakes, but if not, then let's go soon, please. Or maybe we'll be on our way to a camping trip with the pup and our families i know that together the adventures we have planned this year are going to be wonderful i love adore admire look up to and dream about you that's a lot of
Starting point is 00:16:15 verbs that clarice does toward jeff um although i do i guess it's i guess that is, I look up to you and dream about you and love, adore, and admire you. And I covet you. But that doesn't, that's not a good firm. That's like biblical in a way that I don't quite understand. See, I was going to focus on the dog and how that is the one real advantage I see having a dog to a cat is that you could take a dog camping with you. And they keep you safe, like call the wild. The idea of taking a cat camping with you. It's fun. It's funny.
Starting point is 00:16:57 It's funny. Seems terrible, though. Yeah, they would run away forever. Do you want to do this other one? Yes. This message is for Crystal Khan. It is from Steven Sung. To my dearest Crystal, by the time this Jumbotron comes out,
Starting point is 00:17:12 maybe we'll be married for a whole year? Just to cover our bases, happy Lunar New Year, Valentine's, and anniversary. Hopefully we have figured out how to remove the matted fur from our penguins, or else you'll have some rowdy rockhoppers on our hands. Love you forever and always, Stephen. I want to know everything about this. I want to know everything about Crystal and Stephen. I want to know why they do have rockhopper penguins on their hands
Starting point is 00:17:37 and why there's matted fur in them and on them. Do penguins have fur? This is another question. See, I always thought they were called feathers, but maybe they are called fur. But does penguins have fur this is another question see i always thought they were called feathers but maybe they are called fur but does penguins even have feathers i guess they do because in happy feet sometimes they're pretty fluffy the little ones that's interesting because i think of them as just being sort of these perfectly smooth like dolphins like dolphins but i guess they do get kind of puffy in the Happy Feet movies. Man. I'm not proud that that's my touchstone.
Starting point is 00:18:10 That's where we've learned the most about, not even March of the Penguins, we've learned the most. Can't watch too sad. From Happy Feet. Happy Feet, kind of sad, but it turns out okay. I'm a psychic. My name is Psychic Carrie. I'm Ross. Oh, what a pleasure to meet you. Of course, I knew your name was Ross,
Starting point is 00:18:28 as I am a psychic, but please take a seat. Well, I was hoping we could talk about my podcast. Yes, I know. It's called Oh No, Ross and Carrie. Yes. We investigate French science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal. You took the words right out of my mouth. Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:49 This whole podcast, it sounds like it's been a real challenge for you lately. Actually, it's a lot of fun. Yes, exactly. Because it's so fun. I don't know how you do it. This will be $75. Okay. That seems fair.
Starting point is 00:18:57 Oh, no. Ross and Carrie. At MaximumFun.org. You knew it was a.org. I have a gift. Schmanners. Noun. Definition.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Rules of etiquette designed not to judge others, but rather to guide ourselves through everyday social situations. Hello, Internet. I'm your husband host, Travis McElroy. And I'm your wife host, Teresa McElroy. Every week on Schmanners, we take a look at a topic that has to do with society or manners. We talk about the history of it. We take a look at how it applies to everyday life. And we take some of your questions. And sometimes we do a biography about a really cool person that had an impact on how we view etiquette. So join us every Friday and listen to Schmanners on MaximumFun.org or wherever podcasts are found manners manners get it
Starting point is 00:19:46 what you got i have a cereal can i guess okay am i gonna be able to guess yeah okay cinnamon toast crunch no kashi the other end of the spectrum cinnamon toast crunch no kashi do you remember when we used to eat kashi we used to you used to buy i say we you bought kashi at the grocery store and we'd bring it home it'd be like time for kashi and it was sort of like gerbil food like pellets that you would get from a PetSmart or something? I grew up in a household with only healthy cereal. And so for me, my instinct when I purchase a cereal is to go healthy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:32 That should give you a clue as to the cereal I am talking about. Oh, Raisin Bran? No, not that healthy. Not that healthy. Somewhere in between. Cheerios? Yes. Oh, you're talking about Cheerios.
Starting point is 00:20:44 I'm talking about Cheerios. Okay. Okay. Do you have feelings about Cheerios? Yes. Oh, you're talking about Cheerios. I'm talking about Cheerios. Okay. Okay. Do you have feelings about Cheerios? Not my favorite. You know what I loved? And I don't even think it's around anymore, but Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. Oh, that's a good one.
Starting point is 00:20:54 I would destroy. Those were good. Honey Nut Cheerios. Honey Nut, for me, that's my favorite. That's the jam for you? Yeah. Okay. 100%.
Starting point is 00:21:00 I think I got burned out on it. I used to eat it exclusively when I was sick, and so I have certain associations in my mind. Yeah. But man, apple cinnamon Cheerios. I love a Cheerio. Even a plain Cheerio with some bananas sliced up in there. Disgusting. Or some strawberries.
Starting point is 00:21:18 No, thanks. Blueberries. There's nothing you can put in there that's going to make plain Cheerios more palatable to me. That's disappointing to me. They had to start, like, all the commercials for plain Cheerios are now like, it's good for heart health. Yeah. And it's like, I need a little bit more than that Cheerios.
Starting point is 00:21:35 I'm going to talk about that, actually. I love my ticker, and I want it to keep on clocking in for a long, long time. But I need a little bit more for my cereal than just like, oh, it's good for the heart. You know? The crunchy and the, that doesn't do anything for you? That it's crunchy? Uh-huh. Packing peanuts are crunchy.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Lettuce is crunchy. There's lots of crunchy things out there. If I wanted to just crunch, I would buy Kashi. Because of the friendly faces on the front? No, because it makes me poop on a schedule that I could plan a month in advance. I was thinking of the Cheerio because of the versatility of it, because of the fact that I like to eat it.
Starting point is 00:22:18 You can make a necklace with it. Yeah, you can make a necklace. Also, the babies. You can give it to the babies. Sure, yeah. yeah you can make a necklace uh also the babies you can give it to the babies sure yeah i i think a lot now you know we're we are in the solid food land uh and i'm trying to get little son onto like picking up food and eating it and so i'm always thinking about like what can i put in front of him that would be safe for him to eat he's taken to that so fast it is shocking i feel like you you put a puff down in front of this child and he's like let me see huh okay well let me stick my whole hand in that bucket of puffs
Starting point is 00:22:52 and let me just get at it he's at an age where he puts everything in his mouth anyway and so when he figured out like oh this this one tastes good yeah uh let's keep going yeah uh cheerios if you had to guess when cheerios came on the scene, what would you say? God, I feel like all those sort of like staple cereals are much older than I would think. I'm going to say like 1890. No, 1941. Oh, fuck. I was 50 years off.
Starting point is 00:23:20 1990. No, 1941. Oh, fuck. I was 50 years off. Actually, so 1941, they were called Cheery Oats. I like that. They had a physicist working for General Mills, and he invented a puffing gun machine that puffed oats into the O shape. By shooting them with a puffing gun? This is the thing.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Like, they had to get the technology. Like, before it was just flakes. It was frosted flakes, you know? But this was like a... A circle. Blew it right up. Yeah. After that, you could get Trix in 1954
Starting point is 00:23:57 and Cocoa Puffs in 1958. So once they got this cool serial gun, it really opened a lot of doors and mouths. But Cheery Oats, they couldn't continue calling it because Quaker Oats said that it was trademark infringement. Because they used the word oats? Get the fuck over yourself, Quaker Oats. We own oats, thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Yeah. So in 1945, they changed to Cheery Oats. It's a better name. It is a better name. It is a better name. So they tried to get it going with a mascot called Cheerio Leary. Cheerio Leary? Was this like a sort of leprechaun situation? So I looked at it to see if there was any like real super insensitive Irish overtones.
Starting point is 00:24:44 There are not. Okay. From what i can tell uh you're not irish though so i feel like you should leave it to i'm scotch irish i don't even know i mean you would be a better judge i guess i'll have to show it to you and you can see if you're offended okay By Cheerio Leary. Oh, honey, this is super offensive. I'm looking at him now. You are not. He's just eating a big potato. Rachel, you can't do that. So they started to
Starting point is 00:25:16 say, like, don't say good morning, say Cheerioats. It works better as Cheerios. There was also the Cheerios kid and his sidekick, Sue. Why did he need and get a sidekick? They also had Hoppity Hopper, which was an animated frog, which I could see when Digum came around, maybe caused some tension.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Oh, man. God, I love Smacks so much. They also did a lot of co-branding. So they did Rocky and Bullwinkle. They did some Mickey Mouse Club stuff, really trying to get their foothold in the kids cereal. Because if you think about it, back in the day, eggs, bacon, but then- Eggs, bacon, and toast.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Sorry. I think about eggs, eggs bacon and toast a lot the song from parks and rec parks and rec that the gurgich that the gurgich family sings every morning when they eat breakfast uh so this was like 50s and 60s this is like you know women are going to work yeah and they don't have time to fry up some big meals so cereal was kind of the way to go uh so first variation on cheerio uh you would think would be the honey nut but the way you said that makes me know that it is not you're so good at this now thanks yeah i know the rhythms uh 1976 cinnamon nut cheerios see i think you would have liked this i think i would have too uh honey nut came three years later what's the name of the big circular crunchy cereal that's like nutty flavored that has like little little crumbles do you know what i'm talking about
Starting point is 00:27:01 there it's like big circular is Is it Weetabix? No. No, I don't think it was that. I don't think it's still around. I have a very vivid memory of one time I was at my grandma's house and I ate this dope big Cheerios with like nut flavor chunks all over it.
Starting point is 00:27:19 I don't think I know. And then I went out to play at like a community playground and slid down a slide into a big pile of leaves and a spider bit my hand. I think about that day a lot. I was like, this is good ass cereal. Crunch, crunch, crunch, slide. And then I got crunched.
Starting point is 00:27:36 My hand got super fat. Super, super swolled. The fact that those memories are inextricably linked. So linked in my mind. Did you never eat that cereal again? I would destroy that cereal. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:27:55 I loved it. I don't think I know what this is. When you say big, do you mean like what? Like the size of an Oreo big? Not that big. I'm sorry. It was the sort of
Starting point is 00:28:04 Fruit Loops circle, which is about i would say 50 larger than a cheerio i don't know okay what that is all right i'm sure we'll hear though maybe it was a square i'm gonna google nut squares while you continue nut square cereal square nut cereal squirrel squirrel nut cereal. Squirrel nut. Alright, now I'm getting my little Google puck that I forget that I have in the corner is now telling me where I can buy nuts in the city of Austin.
Starting point is 00:28:34 Which is great. Stop! Go on. So Cheerios has had many flavors. Apple Cinnamon was 1988. So you barely remember a world without Apple So Cheerios has had many flavors. Apple Cinnamon was 1988. So you barely remember a world without Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. That's true. Frosted in 1995.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Fruity, 2006. Banana Nut, 2009. Chocolate, 2010. Chocolate is what our big son enjoys. Big son does like those. 2015 is where they brought Ancient Grains, which contains oats spelt in quinoa. Unfortunately, Berry Burst and Dulce de Leche were both discontinued. Berry Burst I remember being kind of okay.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I dreamed this cereal, by the way. It does not exist. I'm sure you didn't. You know who you should ask? It's Justin McElroy. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Regional cereal expert. The other thing I like about the Cheerios is that there's like no allergens in it. Oh, yeah. You'd be surprised how many cereals have soy and or milk just baked in. Yeah. All cereal has milk when I am in charge. When I'm holding the reins, all cereal's got milk. Is that what it says on your Twitter bio?
Starting point is 00:29:50 Uh-huh. Cheerios are gluten-free. As of 2015, General Mills removed cross-contamination, which if you've got wheat up in the machines, then you are cross-contaminating. But they took it out of the equation now, and so gluten-free. And apparently that generated some real business for them
Starting point is 00:30:11 because a lot of folks out there are living that way these days. So to the heart health issue, this is interesting. So in 2009, the FDA took issue with the claim on Cheerios boxes that Cheerios can lower bad cholesterol by 4% in six weeks. FDA said you either need to change the print on the Cheerios boxes or apply to get Cheerios classified as a cholesterol-lowering drug. That would be fucking hysterical.
Starting point is 00:30:37 So now the label says that eating Cheerios as part of a healthy diet may help lower cholesterol and the risk of heart disease. Wink. You know. I love the idea, though, of Cheerios coming in a little prescription bottle. And costing $400. Your doctor saying, like, here you go. Dose this out, but don't overdose.
Starting point is 00:30:59 They would have to change it to something like caloricics or something. Cholesterics. Choloreos. Choloreoics. Something like that. And then there would be commercials of a grandma flying a kite with her grandkids running around. And a man on a bicycle and wearing a polo shirt. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:22 And the honeybee, but the honeybee is like he's like wearing a black sweater and he's like looking out a window looking kind of depressed. With the newspaper. And with the newspaper. And he's got like a
Starting point is 00:31:32 rash. And then he eats the cholesterol oryx. And he's like he's fun again. He like goes out and plays with his dog. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Yeah. Thank you to Bowen and Augustus for these for our theme song, Money Won't Pay. You can find a link to that in the episode description. And thank you to Max Fun Fun for having us on the network. Max Fun Drive's coming up soon. And we're thinking about all kinds of fun stuff that we can do to build support for the network. The Macquarie's are on tour. Yes.
Starting point is 00:32:03 Hey, come and see us why don't you maybe even in april when we're going to be in st louis and kansas city and minneapolis uh there's still tickets available for all those shows and uh st louis me and rachel are going to be opening with wonderful and it's going to be a lot of fun uh you can get tickets for that i mean just go to mackroy.family you can find all the details about the tours we're going all around this great nation of ours uh over the next few months so so please please buy tickets and come out and see us because we haven't done this in a while and it would be great if we could perform in theaters that were like full enough you know what i mean
Starting point is 00:32:42 i will say there are tickets still available for St. Louis. Yeah. And it would be nice because it's like the first big show now of the tour. Yeah, it's true. To have folks out there watching and cheering. Screaming. Tearing their clothes. Wailing.
Starting point is 00:33:00 And you know what? It's cheaper than trampoline. It's cheaper than a trampoline. And you'll get even higher if you know what? It's cheaper than trampoline. It's cheaper than a trampoline. And you'll get even higher, if you know what I mean. I like that. I like that. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:33:14 That's it. Thanks for listening. We'll be back next week. Probably. Unless one of our kids gets sick or, you know, high don't put that into the world and they bonk into a tree branch and the tree branch falls down they get a big lump on their head that comes up like a cartoon i believe in the reverse secret i don't know that i believe in the secret but i believe in the reverse secret where you say bad things and then it becomes real that's that's just called
Starting point is 00:33:42 anxiety it becomes real. That's just called anxiety. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

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