Wonderful! - Wonderful! 249: Send a Carload Santana

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

Rachel's favorite water-based cleansing ritual! Griffin's favorite grain middlings!Music: “Money Won’t Pay” by bo en and Augustus – https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoyaFair El...ections Center: https://www.fairelectionscenter.org/ MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is wonderful. Speaking to you. I'm smiling. Can you hear it in my voice? From the edge. From the edge of madness.
Starting point is 00:00:31 Happy Halloween. This is wonderful to show. We talk about things that we like, things that is good. Things that is good. Things that we are into. Uh-huh. And it's a special show. It's a special time for me and my wife rachel as we
Starting point is 00:00:46 come together to talk about the things that we like that i feel like our intros for the past like month have been us just like i'm so fucking tired i'm so sick i'm so tired i think folks are sick of that maybe we need a new segment up top that's just like health check health check i mean this is happening to people all over the country, right? Like, their children are back in school. Yeah. They're bringing home stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:09 You know? Permission slips. Illnesses. Illnesses. And the stuff is slowly working its way through the entire house. Yeah. That, in combination with our child who's not sleeping, that we are constantly trying to troubleshoot. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:01:25 for sure always always new theories new you know variables to bring in um i am currently battling some nausea yeah sure that started sunday night uh-huh uh from the stomach bug that i think everybody had i think everybody on earth or at least in the country i mean i meant in our house but yeah i think i think it is sweeping the nation it's sweeping the nation folks it's like beetle mania except you have to be on the toilet most of the time no so here's the thing for me for me it's mostly nausea huh it's funny how life works everyone's body is beautiful in a different way. Oh, who sang that song? You are beautiful no matter what they say. Words can't bring me home.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Oh, man, I can't remember. Is it Christina? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, for sure. I made it sound like Aaron Neville. This is wonderful. Should I talk about things we like? Things that are good,
Starting point is 00:02:24 things we're into. We're coming at this one a little bit late, and we're sorry, but sorry, not sorry. We are sorry, though. Do you have a small wonder, or do you want me to just make up some shit? Don't part the curtain on that one. All right.
Starting point is 00:02:39 These are well thought out. Yeah, for sure. Very far in advance. This vamping that we do is just, you know. We script. We have a writer's room, and they put some of this together for us. I made pumpkin muffins. Is that?
Starting point is 00:02:51 We've probably talked about that. Yeah, sometimes I feel like you make pumpkin muffins just so you'll have something to bring up as the small wonder on the show. No, I make pumpkin muffins because I love them. They are good. They are good when you make them. I have a recipe for those of you that are curious. If you go to allrecipes.com, which I'm not sure anybody uses anymore, but there is a Downeast Maine pumpkin bread.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Whoa. That is the recipe I have used for years. I turned it into muffins this time. Downeast Maine? Yeah. I don't know how they do things in Maine, but in Downeast Maine, they make a great pumpkin bread. Why not Southeast Maine?
Starting point is 00:03:25 Downeast? Is that like the downeaster elect is down east like a a direction on an axis that my mind can't like comprehend i don't know honey yeah i don't know what's your thing your wonderful thing rather your short small wonder your short wonder i so i've started biking henry to school on my on my e-cargo bike still loving that that thing, still having a good time. And I find that when I leave after his class files in, I'm usually accidentally part of a cool bike gang or club. Everybody loading up? Everybody loading up.
Starting point is 00:03:59 They're mostly turned bikes of a cornucopia of colors, all just ripping out of the parking lot doing our favorite tricks. That's adorable. It's adorable every single time, especially with like the dads of the kids who are also in Henry's class, because I've seen them before we were road dogs.
Starting point is 00:04:21 But now we see each other and it's like, oh, I had no idea you were also a road dog. And we give each other and it's like oh i had no idea you were also a road dog and we give each other the secret hand signal that us cool bike guys do uh and i feel a sense of community the likes of which i've never had before in my whole life i'm really happy for you i'm happy for me too uh getting a little cold i will say getting a little cold whipping down the hill going 22 miles an hour just just zooming, feeling so free and good. Great. Except when it's like 30 degrees outside. I was wondering, I mean, you're probably going to need
Starting point is 00:04:49 some accessories. And I'm wondering if one of those accessories is like ski goggles. Or just a full balaclava. Which may not be allowed on campus. Yeah, I feel like that might send the wrong message a little bit about who you are. Yeah, like some sort of school burglar.
Starting point is 00:05:06 I'm here for all the super donuts that you got on your shelf. So just let me introduce myself. My name is Griffin. Oh, shit. Do you want me to start this show off? I would love for you to kick things off, baby. Okay. My wonderful thing.
Starting point is 00:05:25 And oh my gosh, I didn't even check to see if we've talked about this before. Oh, that's so good. Let me, can I do that real quick? Yeah, this is such an exciting moment for me. Because it's like, if we have, I know I'm about to watch the Jazzmaster come in and do her thing. Just making up a segment right off the dome. Okay, okay. This has come up up but i'm pretty
Starting point is 00:05:45 sure it's a small wonder because what you talked about does not seem like it could be a whole topic what is it i want to talk about the shower had taken a shower you have talked about shower thoughts interesting i brought shower thoughts as a segment you Uh-huh. You're saying that. I'm just saying getting clean. Okay. In the shower. But here's the thing. Don't talk about thinking about things. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:11 I won't. No, that's not what it is for me. Oh, okay. For me, it is not an exercise in, you know, braininess. Okay. It is. You're embodied. It is just like feeling like now I'm on the right track.
Starting point is 00:06:27 It's hard to feel like you're making a mistake when you're in the shower. Yeah, I've never regretted a shower. It doesn't always pay off the way I want it to, but I've never been like, oh, that was a bad idea. You're never like, and now I'm wet. Ugh, why? Why did I make myself wet?
Starting point is 00:06:47 So the thing about me and Griffin is that we don't shower regularly. That's not fair or true. Well, we don't shower every day, let's say. I shower five days a week, which I think is pretty good. Oh, see, I've never counted how many. How many you do or how many I do? No, I don't know how many I do. Are you not doing...
Starting point is 00:07:04 If you were to estimate how many days a week. I think it's every other day. Okay. That's the same schedule that we bathe our sons in. So like if it's – what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, you know? Yeah, I used to when I was going into a workplace shower every day. Oh, for sure. It was just like a courtesy I did for my coworkers.
Starting point is 00:07:22 But in this post-COVID world, no way. But now that i know that like i may not be going out in the world it's like well who do i have impressed griffin yeah yeah yeah griffin doesn't care he's nasty i don't care i am nasty uh so i wanted to like figure out like i don't know what's good about a shower besides like the obvious are you trying can I ask you a question? Okay. Just to go behind the bit and put the tiger up on the table.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Are you trying to psych yourself up into taking a shower today? No, I already did this morning. Okay, great. In preparation for this segment. Yeah, you knew that I was going to give you a hard time. Okay, so obviously it cleans you, you know, that's a thing. Tell me more. That's the thing that it does
Starting point is 00:08:05 are we sure about that removes away the dead skin cells it washes away bacteria you know that's that's number one yeah number one shower stuff um there's also like different research that it helps you know like helps your mood okay yeah definitely uh it can help you with respiratory symptoms as we know with our young son that's the secret arrow in our quiver that and honey big honey converts yeah uh it can also help you sleep apparently if you shower at night it like warms you up soothes you gets you ready it's a super relaxation thing i don't do the cold shower um but cold shower can also help with like your getting boner go away getting boner go away for sure funny for sure funny you ever hear that though for real i don't know but i heard it all the time because it true did you forget what show
Starting point is 00:09:01 you were doing right now it's wonderful isn't it yeah i'll um but it's supposed to help but did you hear that it does make a boner go away don't don't i don't want to play with you right now do i have to that's okay i'll wait i'll give you an exemption from playing with me since i know you're thank you i'm like i'm already dealing with nausea and I don't want to talk about boners. Is that okay? That's okay, honey. Yeah, for sure. They make me nauseous too.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Even my own. Anyway, cold showers are good for some stuff. Here's what I wanted to talk about is not showering. I love you so much. I love watching the wheels turn. Okay, well, first of all, I will say there's no ideal frequency for showers. There is a suggestion, though, that your shower should be short. Could I just say, and this is not you, but this does sound like a science project that the class stinky kid does.
Starting point is 00:10:03 And it's like the sub, the title is like, why you all need to chill. Why you all need to just chill out, please. I'm the normal one. I mean, you know,
Starting point is 00:10:16 in those teen years, like you gotta, you're so sweaty all the time. You gotta get in there. Just constantly excreting. Just, just a lot of stuff. Just a lot of stuff just a lot of stuff a
Starting point is 00:10:25 lot of stuff comes out a lot of stuff comes out in those years uh the american academy of dermatology association says limit baths and showers to five minutes using warm not hot water yeah uh okay sure thing guys i mean a shower i could see you doing in five minutes can you imagine it takes you like five minutes to draw a bath. And then just like popping in, scrubbing real fast and popping out. I don't think that they're counting the time spent drawing the bath. No, I'm just saying you're investing as much time in preparing the item as you're going to spend in it, which just seems inefficient to me. Is there a danger to taking too long showers?
Starting point is 00:11:02 Well, it can dry you out. Is there a danger to taking too long showers? Well, it can dry you out. That's the thing, is that getting in there in the hot water for a long time can start to dry. Well, that's what the cocoa butter is for. Well, that's the thing. So you get out a little damp and you put on that moisturizer. It locks it in. Locks it in.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Yeah. Everyone knows that. So there was a guy. He's all over the place. In 2016, this article came out and he talked about how he quit showering for two years. And he was a medical doctor. And so people were like, oh, okay, maybe that's something. Okay. How'd it go for him? Was he like at the end of it like, don't do that that guys. I got so- He has basically stopped showering. Like new articles say it's been five years since he showered, specifically showered with like soap. He will like get in and rinse off if he's like got visible grime.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Does he have a, does he have a, so then he's taking a shower. Well, he's not- We're splitting hairs. He's not shampooing or washing his body. I'm just saying if he wants to do a bold scientific doctor medical experiment- He's gotta destroy his shower. No, I'm just saying, if he wants to do a bold scientific doctor medical experiment. He's got to destroy his shower.
Starting point is 00:12:06 No, I'm saying he can't get wet for two years. I don't think you can do that. I don't think life will allow that. I think he drinks everything with a straw so he doesn't accidentally spill and compromise the integrity of his research. No swimming, obviously. So the reason he did this, I mean, it was partially for like environmental reasons, like not only like the products that one uses in the shower, but also, you know,
Starting point is 00:12:31 limiting the usage of water. And then, you know, saving time off of your day. You know, all of this like doesn't seem like a strong case to me. What is interesting, though, is the microbiome. Oh, interesting. Tell me more about the microbiome. So, and this is a good comparison. Everybody's talking about, like, gut health, right?
Starting point is 00:12:49 Like the good bacteria. Especially people in this house over the last week. Right. People in this very localized area have been very concerned with yogurts, yogurt brands, how many billions of bacteria each yogurt has in it, which famous scream queen actresses have endorsed certain bacteriums and yogurts. Did you research where you like, is this yogurt?
Starting point is 00:13:19 Yeah, my research was, I was at Target and I saw the Activia and I was like, Jamie Lee Curtis says that's for me. And so I bought it. I researched. I took that one straight to the top. I didn't know if you had like a consumer report. Yeah, babe.
Starting point is 00:13:32 I bought a consumer reports magazine to read up about yogurt brands. That does sound like something that I would do, though. It sounds like a you move in a major way. Okay. So the microbiome. So there is like bacteria on your skin that is actually helpful. Of course. And having that lessens the likelihood of autoimmune conditions such as eczema.
Starting point is 00:13:55 So if you like scrub a lot of that off all the time, you're kind of losing some of that benefit. For sure. That is kind of the suggestion. And this guy, this James Hamblin, the medical doctor that stopped showering, said that he did get sick less. But, you know. At what cost, doctor? Well, and that's so like anecdotal.
Starting point is 00:14:16 I got sick from smelling his stinky body. For example, I don't know if he has children. Yeah, that's a fair point. And once you have children, your variables increase so much. They're always getting stuff on you. They love to get stuff on you. It sucks.
Starting point is 00:14:31 There was an article in The Atlantic. This geneticist was talking about the microbiome. And to your point, she says, I don't understand exactly why it is that people have such a different sense of the microbes that live in their gut than they do about the microbes that live on their skin. Everyone wants to eat Activia yogurt and colonize themselves with bacteria, and then they want to use Purell. That's interesting. I've never thought of it that way. Everybody's like, wash your hands. Like, of course, wash your hands.
Starting point is 00:15:02 But maybe if you're in the shower. So back to my original point, I like being in the shower. Like, of course, wash your hands. But maybe if you're in the shower. So for back to my original point, I like being in the shower. It's great. It's the best. And, you know, these people that came out and said, don't shower are like, hey, showering is fine if you like showering. Just don't spend a lot of time in there. And also don't think that it's absolutely necessary every day. Okay. You've convinced me. I was already, you know that this is a judgment-free household, right?
Starting point is 00:15:26 I have never judged you for the number of showers you have or have not. Seems like you are judging me for reading consumer reports, though, about yogurt. Yeah. Well, that's sort of like objectively kind of strange behavior. Okay. If you want to not shower, I'm not going to, you know, throw stones. Yeah, I'm fine with that. I mean, most people, including this guy, said that, like, initially your body goes through
Starting point is 00:15:54 like a panic and it's like there's lots of smells. Yeah. Because it's used to all of the chemicals and whatever. And then apparently, like, the smell lessens and you get this kind of baseline that is not as smelly because your body isn't, you know, it's functioning of its own accord. Okay. These are all like hippie things that I don't know super well. Yeah, we should say we're not doctor.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Can we just run the sawbones like their little disclaimer? I'm just saying like if I met somebody and they were like, hey, I've stopped showering. My reaction wouldn't be like, oh, my God. It would be like, tell me all about it. Can I say something, though? I knew some stinky people in college who didn't shower, who like were on a different journey than the journey I was on. If you're playing Frisbee out on the quad and you get real sweaty, you should probably. It's a stinky time.
Starting point is 00:16:43 You should probably take a shower. That's true. But if you don't, I don't't i literally could give a shit but if you're walking from one floor to another floor in your house and sitting and then going back downstairs to sit some more and let me also say if i'm out in public and i see you and you not you i'm talking to just sort of like the metaphysical you and you're. That is such a insignificant inconvenience to my, like, you can't deal with a bad smell. Like, grow up.
Starting point is 00:17:14 You know what I mean? It's 2022, grow up. Oh man, did you smell that stinky person? Yeah, who gives a shit? I know. They smelled bad. Are you okay? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:22 I think I'm dying. No, you're not. You smelled a bad smell once. Get the fuck? Yeah. I think I'm dying. No, you're not. You smelled a bad smell once. Get the fuck over it. Oh my gosh. Is that another parenting thing? Maybe. Like bad smells?
Starting point is 00:17:34 It's fine, guys. Yeah. Bad smells, good smells, it's all smells. You know what I mean? It's all life. It's all beautiful. Can I steal you away? Yes. Thanks. life it's all beautiful can i steal you away yes thanks her majesty served great britain and the commonwealth loyally for over 70 years. And while, of course, we feel a profound sadness,
Starting point is 00:18:08 we must remember she lived a long life and died in such a way that I think many of us would want for ourselves. She was at home, surrounded by her family. And, of course, she was listening to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award winning comedy podcast, and you can find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. You're in a theater. The lights go down. You're about to get swept up by the characters and all their little details and interpersonal dramas. You look at them and think, that person is so obviously in love with their
Starting point is 00:18:49 best friend. Wait, am I in love with my best friend? That character's mom is so overbearing. Why doesn't she just stand up to her? Oh God, do I need to stand up to my own mother? If you've ever recognized yourself in a movie, then join me, Jordan Cruciola, for the podcast Feeling Seen. We've talked to author Susan Orlean on realizing her own marriage was falling apart after watching Adaptation, an adaptation of her own work, and comedian Hari Kondabolu on why Harold and Kumar was a depressingly important movie for Southeast Asians. So join me every Thursday for the Feeling Seen podcast here on Maximum Fun. Hey, Griffin. Yeah. what's your thing this week here's the thing babe can i take a drink of water while i tell you why pontificate i thought this was going to be like a ventriloquism thing my thing seems cruel given the state that you are in. I am worried about my topic worsening your discomfort. The idea of food does not upset me.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Okay, then fine. But if you get real granular on the texture, that would be hard, I think. Maybe I should do a different topic. Because I don't know how to talk about my thing without getting too grand. Why don't we do this? If it ever gets too rough and raw. I'll say airplane. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:15 You already know my thing is going to be. Because it came up in conversation the other night. We were in bed. Why did it come up? Do you remember? I don't remember. I think we were talking about oatmeal or something. No.
Starting point is 00:20:32 And then I was like, you know what's great is cream of wheat. And then you. I said I never had it. And then he said cream of wheat like 25 times. And it is objectively an extremely funny name for a food, a product, a brand. I was like, Griffin, I just want you to stop saying cream of wheat. But here we are about to say it a whole bunch more times because I love cream of wheat. Originally, I had intended to procure some cream of wheat because I have not eaten it in a very long time.
Starting point is 00:21:09 That was my immediate question to you. It was like, well, have you had it in the past 10 years? No. But during my cream of wheat eating career, I was putting up huge numbers, huge numbers. My mom would get, I think from Sam's Club, these huge boxes that had all the different flavors in it. And then I would just like go to town on cream of wheat every morning for a stretch there for a period there. I loved cream of wheat. It was. Can I ask? I don't even know how to prepare it. It's hot.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Well, hot. Well, it's the same way you do oatmeal. Oh, there's like a box of cream of wheat that like you boil down for like 10 minutes. The same way you can kind of do oatmeal like that. But most of the time, I mean, every time I just did that of cream of wheat that like you boil down for like 10 minutes the same way you can kind of do oatmeal like that. But most of the time, I mean, every time I just did that instant cream of wheat. You pour in some hot water and you wait like a minute and then it's good to go, baby. So I want to talk about cream of wheat because it is a noble and delicious breakfast porridge. Not not an oatmeal.
Starting point is 00:22:04 And it is made from, get this, wheat middlings. Wheat middlings. Which is basically when you mill down wheat to get the flour. You take the flour out. Everything else, all midlands, baby. And then you take that
Starting point is 00:22:22 and you make cream of wheat out of it. I thought that was the chaff no maybe i don't know it's called farina i may be mispronouncing that is the the technical name for what cream of wheat is uh and yeah it it's it's amazing i won't i guess get into the texture too much save for the fact that it's pleasant. It's good for me. Well, you describe it to me like grits, right? Like breakfast grits? It is like grits.
Starting point is 00:22:49 It's a lot like grits, except where grits are made out of corn, cream of wheat is even smoother because it's made out of wheat. But the same principle applies. Also, cream of wheat is traditionally sweet. There are lots of different flavors. There's original, which is still vaguely kind of sweet. Apples and cinnamon, maple brown sugar, strawberries and cream, and cinnamon swirl. So it's just oatmeal flavors.
Starting point is 00:23:09 More or less, yeah. The maple brown sugar cream of wheat was everything to me. It was so important to me. So if I am sitting at a table and I have oatmeal and I have cream of wheat and i think oh oatmeal too chunky yeah i mean you jest but you eat different foods based on the textures that you're craving yeah but oatmeal is already like so like it can be so babe it can be so much smoother it can be so much you don't know because you haven't had it it can be so much where the santana rob thomas song came from yes because when they're describing just like the
Starting point is 00:23:54 ocean under the moon they mean the sort of wet porridge like consistency of cream of wheat and then it's uh give me the midlands of wheat or else forget about it yeah give me the midlands of wheat yeah it's basically and this is a really fucking funny parody song i'd love you want to do the whole song because i'm ready i don't okay um so yeah i i i became a like once i got into college my breakfast eating and i think this is probably true of a lot of college students, just kind of fell off. I ate food, but it was not a concerted effort. It was not what I would call a meal. Yeah, I don't ever remember eating breakfast.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Well, no, that's not true. I did. I did. It just was not a big part of my day for sure. Well, this was a big part of my day. See, the thing about cream of wheat though, like you can't eat that on the go. Um, I could. How?
Starting point is 00:24:53 Little cup. Put it in a little cup. So you would just be walking to your class with a little cup of cream of wheat? No, I would eat that at home. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't need to multitask like that when I was, when I was a child. You know what I mean? Well, you were talking about college. I didn't need to multitask like that when I was a child. You know what I mean? You were talking about college. I didn't know if. No, I wasn't eating breakfast in college.
Starting point is 00:25:10 That's what I'm saying. I fell off of cream of wheat basically at that time and never really got back onto it. I think it probably has been. Like 20 years? Maybe. Wow. No, not 20. 20 years ago.
Starting point is 00:25:22 I was 15. Uh-huh. You said you fell off in college. so you finished high school at 18. Yeah. So I don't know. It doesn't seem that crazy that it would have been 20 years. It's been a long time. I will, before we record again, I will eat cream of wheat and I'll get back to you all
Starting point is 00:25:37 on the other side just to let you know if it holds up. You know, this is how we get the repeat listeners, Griffin. People are going to tune back in next week. This is one of those Netflix cliffhangers. Then you've got to binge. Cream of Wheat started with the Diamond Milling Company in Grand Forks, North Dakota during, have you heard of the Panic of 1893? It's basically like the Great Depression, but little, a little lower. No, I hadn't.
Starting point is 00:26:01 A little cute one. A little cute one. And so this company, they milled and sold flour. And during the panic, the price for flour had just tanked. So their chief miller suggested that they try to make this porridge from wheat midlands just because they got it. You know, he's probably like, we got it. So let's grind that up and pour hot water on it and then we'll serve that up. So they shipped their usual shipment to their vendors and brokers in New York after an anonymous employee named it cream of wheat, which like history has failed us here because I want to know who this person was that looked at it and was like, that is like if you took the wheat and you really squeezed it and got the cream out of it and the person was like, what are you talking about? I bet there is a family like story that has been passed down and there is an ancestor out there who's like, you know.
Starting point is 00:26:58 You know what? My great great grandpa named cream of wheat. Regardless, they shipped it to New York along with their shipment of flour. and after they received it their brokers in new york responded via telegram forget the flour send us a car of cream of wheat that's real and that's really good that is at the moment the exact amount of cream of wheat i wish we would have delivered to our house one carload just one one carload santana of cream of wheat uh so they knew they had a hit on their hands right and they debuted this wonderful porridge alongside other sort of important american innovations at the chicago world's fair which is so fucking funny to me when somebody's like,
Starting point is 00:27:46 this is the Ferris wheel and somebody else is like, this is medicine and somebody else is like, and check out my creamy porridge, gang. I think that's the ice cream cone came from like the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis. Like, I think it was not uncommon
Starting point is 00:28:01 to debut a food item. I'm just saying, I read Devil in the White City and I do not remember a point in which cream of wheat was like a featured player. But good for them. Like, it worked clearly
Starting point is 00:28:13 because people went nuts for cream of wheat. They had the box that took 10 minutes originally. Then in 1939, they introduced enriched quick cream of wheat, which rolls right off the tongue, which had vitamins and minerals and took two and a half minutes to cook. And enriched quick cream of wheat, which rolls right off the tongue,
Starting point is 00:28:25 which had vitamins and minerals and took two and a half minutes to cook, and then instant cream of wheat in 1958, which takes 30 seconds. And I bet they could get it faster. If the demand was there. If the demand was there. If more people were eating cream of wheat. You think that's what the problem is? You think that's why more people don't eat it?
Starting point is 00:28:41 Is it 30 seconds is too much? Yeah, I need like a like a two chambered or maybe it's the pouch of cream of wheat. And it has a small bag inside of it that you can like break like a little glass vial inside of there. And when you break it like the hot water flood. Now, how are we going to keep that water hot? I don't know. I'm not I'm not I'm not like an engineer. And that's not my job. That's cream of wheat's job. So they got acquired and passed around like eight different food companies. Now they're at B&G Foods. What is really funny to me is there's also something called cream of rice.
Starting point is 00:29:15 And I bet you can guess what that is. Yeah. It's for like gluten intolerant folks, right? Okay. Here's what's wild about cream of rice. Whole different origin story, whole different company. It was not like the cream of wheat people were like, let's try it with rice too. This was a different product, entirely different product, a rival product.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Can you imagine if I did one called cream of oats and just like tried to just be cool about it? Anyway, at one point, just by serendipity, Cream of Wheat and Cream of Rice were both owned by Nabisco at the same time, who consolidated them. And rightfully so. We don't need both of those. What a great marriage that was. Like people running across the factory floor like,
Starting point is 00:29:58 finally. Finally. Finally we're together. Putting down their rifles. Anyway, I've never had Cream of Rice, but I bet if you've got a gluten allergy, it's sufficient. Anyway, that's cream of wheat. And I want some really, really bad.
Starting point is 00:30:14 And in a lot of ways, isn't that what's most important? Not the fulfillment of the dream or the follow up on is it actually good or not? It's those memories, babe. It's those memories. I feel like we're going to get an iTunes review that's like, I liked Wonderful until they did a week where they talked about showers and cream of wheat. Or we'll get a review that's like, I was excited about this show at first because I thought that they exclusively talked about showers and cream of wheat,
Starting point is 00:30:43 but then the next episode they didn't talk at all about. My friend recommended this to me. My friend recommended this to me. It's a cream of wheat podcast. It was a real Trojan horse. Anyway, this has been wonderful. Thanks for listening. Thanks to Bowen and Augustus for these for our theme song.
Starting point is 00:31:00 Money won't pay. Please find a link to that in the episode description. Thank you to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. Go to Maxim to maximum fun.org check out all the great shows that we've got on offer waiting for you to peruse and enjoy and we have stuff at macroymerch.com you can buy other shows at macroy.family got a macroy family youtube channel starting to do fun stuff there let's uh we play fortnight play fortnight every monday griffin opened up a haunted doll i opened McElroy Family YouTube channel. Starting to do fun stuff there. We play Fortnite. Play Fortnite every Monday. Griffin opened up a haunted doll.
Starting point is 00:31:29 I opened up a haunted doll. It's pretty upsetting. Not too upsetting, though. I'll give it like a 6 out of 10 on the upsettingness scale. That's it. Babe, we did it. We did it. It's in the can, as they say. And there's obviously a joke that one could make about like a toilet.
Starting point is 00:31:49 No. But we're not going to. No, please. Because this show, it caters to a certain audience that I don't know how to end that sentence. Yeah, I don't either. I don't know how to end this podcast. We never do. That's the thing about this show. Yeah. Thanks for listening, I don't either. I don't know how to end this podcast. We never do. That's the thing about this show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Thanks for listening, everybody. Thank you. Stay safe. Tune in next week for Griffin eating cream of leech. It's sweep sweep. Working on it, money on it. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

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