Wonderful! - Wonderful! 337: Stab Doctors

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

Rachel's favorite flattering images! Griffin's favorite post-activity textural experience!Music: “Money Won’t Pay” by bo en and Augustus – https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/

["Rachel McElroy's Theme Song"] Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is wonderful. Thank you for listening to our award-winning. Whoa. Our medal, I won't say what place we got in the Olympics. Oh, okay.

It won first. It was. But we were up there. Aluminum foil. It was aluminum foil medal. Technically speaking, we were 314th place, which is the Illuminant Medal, as we all know. This is a big show, but I mean,

small fish compared to some of the heavyweights in the world. I'm talking about Ocean Life Jellyfish, Ocean Life Jellyfish Weekly. That one is so huge. Wow. Stab Doctors. These are sort of like murder shows about doctors who stab. On episode seven of Stab Doctors,

you found out it was in fact the doctor that did the stabbing. I thought, big twist is coming, nope. Stab Doctors, turns out out doctor was the staffer. There's upside down Joe Rogan. This is just Joe Rogan, but he's upside out. He's upside down. I don't know how they record it. 20 minutes and he passes out. He does. There's something about like he discovered some,

it opens some channel in your mind when you're trying to physically. Do I have to be upside down? You, it helps. It helps you squish out all the COVID from your body when you're trying to physically- Do I have to be upside down? You, it helps. Okay. It helps you squish out all the COVID from your body when you're upside down and you're just extremely, the vascularity. Vascularity is a word. Also, all of his opinions are different

when he's upside down. Ooh. That's why everyone loves Upside Down Joe Rogan. Okay. I don't get it. I guess Upside Down Joe Rogan reminds me more ofside Down Joe Rogan. Okay. I don't get it. I guess Upside Down Joe Rogan reminds me more of News Radio Joe Rogan. Where it's like you plucky scamp.

Or Fear Factor Joe Rogan. He had started, the worm had started to try for me. Okay, literally the worm. For me, pure uncut News Radio, that's the height of everyone's appearances, in my opinion. News Radio? Hey, I'm gonna definitely talk about that show

on this show one day, quite soon I bet. Anyway, do you have any small wonders? I am going to say Funland. Funland. We spent a long weekend at Rehoboth Beach and we had been told of this boardwalk and its family-friendly activities. And Funland, a little unassuming from the front,

just looks like a big- Looks like a bus station that a carnival fell inside. It's like painted beige. There's like one sign that says Funland. You would not know it is a Funland if not for the sign. And then you walk in, there are rides, there are arcade games, there are rides, there are arcade games, there are like old school carnival games.

Like it is a real fun land. I won the Smash a Hammer Down, Make a Frog Jump in a Lily Pad game. I don't know what the name of it is, aside from what I've just described. And it was the most, I have played that game, I feel like a million times, it was at Camden Park, which had these sorts of games.

Never got the frog go, flaw, couldn't get the frog to go in the lily pad. Made me so bummed out, but this time I did it. To win a toy for my son, I felt 10 feet tall. What was your favorite thing at Funland? Oh my gosh. I mean, I didn't do literally any of the rides. So I can't speak to that.

They were so lit. I did the bumper cars. They were quite, they had some get up and go. They were rowdy bumpers. I was in there with my son and my like paternal protection. Yeah, I was asking Griffin because I was very nervous that Henry would be outraged the second anyone bumped him. And I was like proper bear out there. Yeah, I was asking Griffin, because I was very nervous that Henry would be outraged the second anyone bumped him.

And I was like, what happened? And Griffin's like, oh, no one could catch me. Well, no, they caught me, but there's a way of steering into it so that their bump is sort of diminished. And then like it, this is a thing I learned in all of school, which is that if you make it less fun to bully you, eventually they will sort of find a better tart,

like someone who gives them a little bit more. So when somebody bumped you, were you like, I don't even care. No, I would just kind of like turn against it. So they just kind of like nudge us and I'd look at them like, you feel proud of yourself? There's a seven year old boy in here, fucking freak. And what was sad was that it was a seven year old boy

that bumped into you. That is true. But you had to drive. And he learned a valuable lesson that day. That is kind of a fun thing. For whatever reason, the height requirement is such that Griffin had to drive. I don't really know why.

Was the pedal- But Henry could ride. He was tall enough to ride, not tall enough to drive. Ain't that just the way it goes? Was the pedal particularly- Quite deep down in there, yeah. Okay. What's your small wonder, dude? My small wonder, I mean, just as a sort of follow-up,

we watched no Olympics this year, save for, at this point, just the preliminaries of the break dancing, both B-boys and B-girls. The qualifying, yeah. The qualifiers. And it was fucking great. It was the most fun. I think it was a very special year for it

because like you were talking about, it's the first year. Something I didn't really think about is that like, maybe this global bar has not been set. Like when people show up to figure skating, the pressure's on and they kind of know kind of like what everybody's gonna be bringing to the table. But in this one, it seemed like everybody was one having an amazing time, like dance battling with one another.

But also just like bringing a lot of different styles, but also like a lot of different kind of like levels of energy and like athleticism. So you just did not know what you were going to get. Yeah, it made me wonder what the process even was for determining who went to the Olympics, because going forward, I have to imagine there's gonna be some scouting.

I know this conversation is happening, I think at this point exclusively about Gunn, whose style I was fucking all about. I was absolutely all about, give me the level of confidence that Ray Gunn has in her life for anything. Yeah, say what you will about the performance. America, and I'd say the world, was captivated. Absolutely, but it wasn't just Ray Gunn.

There was like, it was all over the map. Like the level, the degree, there were people who were doing it, who were like, were doing shit I did not know was physically possible. And then there were people who were doing it like not as tight. And it was just wild to see a sport where it was just like, the playing field is quite vast.

Like it hasn't sort of bottlenecked. Well, and that's again, goes back to like how they picked who was gonna be on the team. Cause there's no like time trials, you know? It's just scoring on like the performance and the artistry. Yes. So it's not like you have to run a three minute mile to like qualify, you know?

Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to profess to know anything about like what the global break dancing scene looks like, but it seemed to me like this is happening on a stage at a level that it doesn't happen on a lot and or if at all and it was very neat to kind of just like see all these people like genuinely seem to be delighted by one another's breakdancing. I hope that momentum carries.

I hope that this week there are meetings at networks across the country about the next reality break dance competition show. Jesus Christ, please. Because I would watch that. Please. I realized watching it, we used to watch so I think you can dance.

So you think. Yeah. So listen kid, I think you know what it takes to dance. We used to watch it and I like, I love dance. Yeah. I love to watch it and I like, I love dance. I love to watch dance. I never seek it out in a personal, like personal pan setting in a public live sense.

But watching a TV show where people dance really good, I like that. Yeah, and the different styles. I mean, there's a lot there. Yeah, what happened to that show? Oh, they made it just about kids that we didn't like it as much. Anyway, you go first this week.

I do. What do you have prepared and do you have enough for the class to share? There are 20 children in this room with us right now. I mean, there's a lot of information to share. Okay, great. I would say that there's enough morsels for everyone. Y'all don't know this, but a lot of the time,

Rachel would just lean over and whisper information to me, not into the microphone, so I get like, tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk I know it's still found in research, but it's a lot of like headcanon stuff that is pretty juicy. All right, my thing this week. Yes, what is it? And I think you'll enjoy it because it involves you. All right. In a complimentary way. I do love those. It is when your partner takes a good picture of you.

Yes. This is something that has happened twice now. Through the- In the history of our 13 year relationship. Honestly, you've probably taken more like five or six. In the history of our 13 year relationship, I've taken five or six flattering photos of you. I feel like I've done it more times than that

just on Be Real, which we've been using for- No, the ones that motivated me to do this segment are the two from Be Real. Okay, cool. Because if you look after we've had children, there are not as many photos of me. Yes, that's- You took a lot of good photos of me on our honeymoon.

Yes, I did. And on our trip to Hong Kong. Yeah. And then there was a period of time where maybe we weren't taking, I would say maybe neither of us was taking it particularly. I think that's the thing about Be Real, right? It has motivated you to take more pictures of me. Yeah. And then I am getting the neither of us was taking it particular. I think that's the thing about Be Real, right? It has motivated you to take more pictures of me,

and then I am getting the benefits of that, which are good pictures. Yes, you're also taking pictures of me that are also extraordinary. I look so strong in every one of them. And maybe it's just because I'm flexing really hard. Yeah, you have that sense of like, this pretty lady is taking a picture of me.

So my muscles. Yeah, so I like flex it like to the max. It's weird that you looked down at your crotch when you said that. I was more looking at my muscles. My crotch is, how did you deduce my eye level was going perfectly to my crotch and not my muscles I was talking about?

Anyway, the pictures that I particularly like is one that you just took recently at the beach when I was at a restaurant with you. Whenever I try to take a picture of myself, I do not like it. Same. And most of the time when somebody takes a posed photo of me, I do not like it.

No. It's the pictures that you take that are just kind of like, I'm taking a picture right now. Yeah. That I feel like I like. When you're caught on candid it. No. It's the pictures that you take that are just kind of like, I'm taking a picture right now. Yeah. That I feel like I like. When you're caught on candid camera. Exactly. So I was at the restaurant, you could picture me, and then the picture at Disney World.

Yeah. That I ended up using as my profile picture. You look tough in that way. I look strong. You look strong, like genuinely bad, like a baddie. Yeah, like a real baddie. I think a baddie is like a strong person. Okay.

I don't know what it means. So I got curious. Somebody tell me what makes a good profile picture. Okay, I can't wait to hear this. So I went to orbitmedia.com, which is where I get all of my news. I feel like this segment is way, if we take the listeners inside the bit a little bit and say that there was a segment that you were going to do

that would have changed your mind, and now we're doing this one pretty off the cuff, and I'm here for it because I agree with it. It's very, very good. I just didn't, Orbit's news is, tell me more about Orbit's news. Well, it's not plural, first of all. Oh, I was thinking like the gum.

No. Or the travel agency. No, Orbit Media has quote, may have been making the internet better one website at a time since 2001. And the experts they call Orbitiers. And they are experts in web design development, digital strategy and website optimization.

Okay, cool. I mean, they sound like the authority. They've got digital strategists. They've got project managers. When did they start doing digital again? I mean, so this company has been existing since 2001. I mean, that's 23 years. So what I am citing is a blog post that say your profile picture is key to your personal brand

and online networking. Here are nine ways to nail your social media profile picture. Okay, so we're still saying that this is under the guise of the segment where your partner takes a good picture of you. You're saying the following nine categories are exactly how one rates what is a good partner that your picture, what is a good picture that your partner is.

I am saying that there are aspects of this that I feel like can only be captured by your partner. By a lover, for sure. I agree with you. And it speaks to the reason why it is difficult to take a picture of yourself. Yeah. You know, because you need somebody else

to do some of these things. Yeah. However, number one is not that. Number one is show your face. So when you're taking a picture of your lover, you show your face. I will say that this is something that I have figured out on my own when I take my own sort of pictures.

Is to put your face in it. Is that my face is usually in like squarely pretty good in it. Are you an avid mountain climber? Great. Put your face in the profile picture and your passion in the background image. The world's most popular website is called Facebook, not Silhouette on a Mountain. Rachel, baby, Rachel.

Did you find this on LexisNexis? Is this peer reviewed? Is that a new? No, I suppose it's never been a qualification for sure. Anyway, you stepped all over my big joke from this website. The world's most popular website is called Facebook, not Silhouette on a Mountain Book.

I also recommend against cartoon heads, dogs, and babies. Show your face. What about a cartoon baby dog? What would a cartoon baby dog, like, oh. My face with Scrappy Doo. Scrappy Doo. Were you trying to think of Scrappy Doo? I was, I was like, Pluto didn't.

A lot of famous baby dogs. Pluto didn't have a baby dog. Yeah. Okay, number two, frame yourself. Yeah. Some headshots are too close to the camera. Lovers, listen, rule of thirds is not that hard to learn about. I took one photography class in college

and I learned about rule of thirds and was like ready to go. I took zero photography classes. See, everyone has a camera in their pockets. I mean, I kind of knew about rule of thirds but I didn't know what it was called. The number of times that one of my beloved family members has taken a picture of us. And it's just been like a wild,

almost like Renaissance era painting of just us in the bottom 20% and then just the sky. Yeah. Get it together, guys. Yeah. Okay, number three, turn up your smile setting. How do I do that? There are five degrees of open body language.

Number one is no smile, which they call the mugshot. Number two, lips closed, which they call I'm here. I'm doing these just to practice. Number three, teeth showing is hello. That's how animals do it. That's how you know an animal saying hello is when they show their teeth at you. Number four is open mouth.

Hey there. Ah. And number five, the Travis McElroy is wide open. Yeah, that you could throw a whole Fuji apple in there. I did and still do a lot of times, the lips closed, I'm here. Because as soon as I start showing my teeth, it looks strained.

I have yet to figure out how to smile with my teeth. Yeah. And not look like I am like uncomfortable. Except for when you're really busting up. Like. Yeah. But then my eyes disappear and I feel like you've got to have your eyes in there.

Is that step seven? Don't skip ahead. It's number one. Is one of them, you gotta get your eyes in there. Four, five, six, seven. Don't close ahead. Is number one, is one of them, you gotta get your eyes in there? Four, five, six, seven. Don't close your eyes. Eight. Don't throw your phone.

Yeah, no. They don't care if your eyes are in there. So I guess you're right. You're ahead of the experts at this point. Or I'm too concerned on eyes because orbit tells me I don't need to worry about them. No. Number four, use contrasting colors.

What does that mean? Color is a great way to stand out. When colors contrast with the colors around them, they stand out. Why do I need to stand out on, why do I need to stand out on my Facebook PFP? Well, it's like a lot of headshot photos, you know? They have like a plain background

and then you're just popping out. Yeah, I guess so. I think that's something I've ever thought about with any of my headshots I guess so. Maybe I don't, I think that's something I've ever thought about with any of my headshots, which is probably why I don't get cast in a lot of things. I heard a lot, because I was getting a headshot photo taken for my previous job.

Yeah. And I asked my friend what I should do, and she said to wear jewel tones and more lipstick than I usually would. And you know what? For your passport photo? No, my headshot photo for my previous job. Oh yes.

No, passport photo is universally terrible. You can't do anything in that thing. You're not supposed to, you're not allowed. You're not supposed to smile for sure. Which is, as we know, number three on this list. Turn up that smile. Number five, use a simple background. which is, as we know, number three on this list. Turn up that smile. Number five, use a simple background.

This goes back to my headshot. Use a simple background or use the background of my passions? Because my passion is abstract mixed media art. I should clarify. So what they were talking about is the banner photo. Oh. So on Facebook where you do your profile picture and then you have the little banner thing.

What if I fuck it up and I make the profile picture like a little tiny mountain and then the banner is just my stretched out ghoulish face skin wrapped around the top of my Facebook page. Whoa, number six is something I didn't know about. Test your profile picture with Focus Group. You can upload some options to PhotoFeeler. And for-

I won't do that. Thank you. I take pictures of my family. They are not going to PhotoFeeler. No, I mean, this is just for a profile. Again, we're talking about profile picture. My family's in all of my profile. We're the same thing.

PhotoFeeler, which if it's still a thing, I don't know, but for less than $20, you can get 100 people to vote on your photo. Fuck that. It's basically hot or not. Put it on hot or not for free. Don't put it on hot or not for free. Okay, get a bit of your brand into your photo.

This is number seven. Yeah, and by branded means lover. Your brand colors, a mini logo. You keep oscillating in how much effort, how much elbow grease you're putting behind, keeping this associated to having your partner take a good photo of you. And I don't even know if you know

you're doing it at this point. You're in the tall grass and I'm here with you and we're holding hands and we're so in love. It is possible that when I loaded up this site, I didn't scroll to the bottom to see how focused on LinkedIn it gets. On LinkedIn it gets, yeah. I just thought this is what makes a good photo.

Maybe this is why my lover is so good at taking a photo. And taking your profile pics. Number eight. Use the same headshot on all your professional profiles. Unhinged. Unhinged that you're bringing this to the sharks today. And number nine, use a pro photographer, which I would argue.

I'm not, but am I using a pro photographer, Rachel, or am I using my lover in a moment of candid passion? It's me on the rock wall and you're here with me and we're both having a wonderful day together. I've hired Tyler, he's a professional photographer, to come and snap this profile pic. All right, well maybe I should go to splento.com. Head to Splento.

Just, we'll do some fact checking throughout. Oh, don't say cheese. You know what? Gosh, your brother Justin McElroy told me, and I think he got this from Riley, that you're supposed to say plums or something to make your lips pouty. Plums.

Like pushes your lips out, so you get a real seductive. I might take a picture of myself while saying plums. Okay. Like a million times. Plums. It did one very, very slow. It doesn't look very good, baby. Your tongue is really taking center stage there.

Doesn't look very good. I don't know why. This one does talk about posing, which is another thing I struggle with, which is why candid seems to work better. Keep your back straight. It adds confidence. Try not to squint or stare too much.

Explore some different angles in your position. Your hands and arms should be in a relaxed position. Naturally, I usually keep them sort of side saddle. I want to say. Do you know the thing? I know what you're getting at because I also. Wait, can I ask you something? Oh yeah, sure.

That I'm really curious about? This is something that a lot of women I know do, and I'm not sure if men know about it. Do you know about how to make your arm look more slender in a photo? And why so many people do this in photos? I don't do this. You put your hand on your hip.

Oh, that's why you do it? Because if it's at flat at your side, it kind of like pushes it out like a pancake, but if you like put your hand on your hip, it's like, look at my tone. It's easier to show off the tone. Look at my toned arm. There's- Anyway, I've,

I had this suspicion that you probably didn't know about that. I don't, I do, I mean, I do that for photos sometimes, but just not- Just because you're sassy. Just because I'm sassy and it looks cool. I don't like having photos, but just not, but just because I'm sassy and it looks cool. I don't like having photos, post photos taken of myself.

I do it occasionally at conventions on a somewhat professional basis. You've gotten so good at it though. When I think back to when we were taking our engagement photos and you were so uncomfortable, it seemed like you had forgotten how to smile entirely. And now, you can, man, you turn on that megawatt Griffin McElroy grin, and it is impressive to me.

Yeah, I guess that's true. I feel like I always enjoy a post photo of you. Well, thank you, baby. I feel the same way. We've gotten a few headshots done before and I think they're delightful. Not for any kind of professional purposes, except for like when they announce

that we're going on the Joko cruise next year, they need some pictures of us to use for that. And so that is a thing we've done in the past and I do like those, but it's always better homegrown, I think. If I could have you just make it your part-time job to take photos of me. Absolutely. It would be a huge benefit.

Should I still take photos of other stuff too? Our children? Yes. And that's it. But in my defense, you, unlike our children, don't constantly go take a picture of me doing this thing and send it to everyone you know. Send it to, make sure that this photo of me

jumping on the trampoline gets on Clint McElroy's desk by EOD, or I'm going, this is the kid saying. Okay, I was gonna say, that would be really weird if I asked you to do that. No, I know, that's what I'm saying. I take more pictures of the kids because I am often. Told to do so. Forced.

Okay. They're small, but they have such a tremendous amount of influence over me, and I hope they don't find that out. Well, and I think when most conversations with your children can turn into a battle, it's like, oh, this is a thing I can do quickly, and then the conversation's over.

Yeah, for sure. It's like when little son tells me to buy something, I realize that I can just put the thing in a shopping cart, and he never asks about it again. Never does. It's fucking so good. Please be careful though, because one day you'll be like, time to buy some,

time to buy some sort of wipe. And then it'll be like, you just spent $955,000. He literally had me put in my shopping cart a balloon inflator, like a big blue or a big pink like plug-in machine to inflate balloons. He wanted me to buy sticky balls. I'm starting to think he's trying to build some sort of contraption.

What was it? Oh, the other day when we were sitting and he wanted to buy something or he calls it store something. He said, I want to store something. And he looked around the room because he was like, what do you want to store? And he looked around the room and said, water bottle.

Oh, what a scamp. What an absolute scam. Hey. Can I steal your way? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Hey, do you have a favorite episode of Star Trek? If you do, you should also have a favorite Star Trek podcast. Greatest Trek is about all the new streaming Star Trek shows and it's a great companion to The Greatest Generation, our hit show about back catalog Star Trek that you grew up with. It's a comedy podcast by two folks who used to be video producers, so it's a serious mix of comedy and insight that fits right into the Maximum Fun network of shows. And Greatest Trek is one of the most popular Star Trek podcasts in the world. So if you're

following Lower Decks, Prodigy, or Strange New Worlds, come hang out with us every Friday as we roast and review our favorite Star Trek shows. It's on MaximumFun.org, YouTube or your podcast catching app. From the twisted minds that brought you the adventure zone, balance and amnesty and graduation and either see and steeplechase and uterus space and all the other ones, the McElroy brothers and dad are proud to reveal a bold vision for the future of actual play podcasting. It's called the Adventure Zone versus Dracula?

Yeah, we're gonna kill Dracula's ass. We're gonna, well, we're gonna attempt, we haven't recorded all of it yet. We will attempt to kill Dracula's ass. The Adventure Zone versus Dracula. Yes, a season I will be running using the D&D fifth edition rule set and there's two episodes out for you to listen to right now.

We hope you will join us. Same bat time, same bat channel. And bats. I see what you did there. Do you wanna know my thing? Yes. That I've brought this week? This is gonna make me sound like I am a hater,

which I am not, but bear with me. My wonderful topic this week is coming home from the beach, ending your day of beach time. Okay, so not necessarily coming home from your trip to the beach. No, coming out from any vacation sucks, but like you've been at the beach on the sand in the foamy spray of that.

And now you have called it a day. Now you've called it a day, packed up the cooler, tucked the umbrella. I don't know what the verb is for an umbrella. Undo- Closed? Closed, I guess, an umbrella. Loaded up the car, gotten back home. And then you get to do all kinds of sweet stuff.

That is my favorite part of any beach trip. This is very confusing to me. There's a lot about being at the beach that I enjoy, right? Once you get into the vibe, I think that you're there with some friends, you're having some brews and soaking in the sun and watching the tide roll in, boiling some shrimps, nibbling on sponge cake,

all that jazz. Bonfire, you know. Like, I'm so, so here for that, but it all pales in comparison to the dope stuff you get to do when you end your beach day and get to go home. I know we don't traditionally do this, but counterpoint.

Okay. Sand everywhere. Impossible to eliminate sand. Now that's true. That's interesting though. And I really, really dislike sand when I am not in a sand environment. Hate it, hate it.

But I would say there is also sand everywhere at beach. I know, because it's supposed to be. Statistically speaking, there's way less sand at home. It's supposed to be there. Sand is supposed to be beach. I'm, cause it's supposed to be. Statistically speaking, there's way less sand at home. It's supposed to be there. Sand is supposed to be beach. I'm like, all right, cool. This is part of it. I get home, I don't want sand.

The process of delousing, of desanding, is what I love and what I look forward to. And it's moments that I cherish. Do you just mean showering? Well, it starts there, right? Like you get home from the beach, you've just hauled all your shit through a bunch of sand, which sucks.

Pushing a stroller or pulling a stroller through sand sucks so bad. Wheels on sand sucks. I don't know who thought of this. But you get all your stuff back home. And then if you're in some sort of beachy rental, you get that outdoor shower, that's step one. And I don't, this may be the best step,

I think all things considered. I don't usually take cold showers or showers where I am wearing my clothes still, but the amount of work you get done in the outdoor shower post beach, when I take a shower on a day-to-day basis, I don't get to watch the stuff come off me and watch it leave and watch my body go

from dirty, cakey mess to pristine. You've got me there. Like the same way we like watching videos of things being power washed. Absolutely, you are power washing yourself. You have been caked in this abrasive agent and your body has been brined in seawater, taking a cold outdoor shower and just watching it all,

just, that is primo stuff, primo stuff. Then you get to go inside and you just get fucking blasted by AC, which is very, very good, especially if your body is still wet, you're still wearing your wet trunks from being out in the outdoor shower and you get blasted by AC and that temperature. I'm big into sort of textural experiences.

And I think that you get a lot of those in this entire sort of going into the airlock process. Yeah. Then you like, you've schlepped all your stuff in, you're like half dead from exhaustion. You get the main course, which is the post beach indoor shower. The post beach outdoor shower indoor shower.

After the outdoor shower, you get to take a second shower inside that is hot with hot water and soap and stuff. You don't use soap in an outdoor shower. I think it's bad for the environment and the sewer animals. But inside the hot, you're looking at me like I am shrieking gibberish at you from the street outside. I feel so othered by you in this moment, my wife. You suggested that the drain for the outdoor shower

would send the water to a different place than the drain for the indoor shower? Yes. Okay, that was what really, I think, confused me. It's special outdoor wastewater, no soap allowed. Okay. Sand, sand and grime, and that's okay, no soap allowed.

It's like when you wash your car outside and you put that big tarp underneath and then you take that big tarp full of soapy car wash water and you bring it inside. You dump it down the toilet. You dump it in the toilet and then it's fine. And then it's okay, because that goes to the soapy water sewer. We're having a good time right now.

I have to observe that. But also, have you ever seen anyone take an outdoor post-beach shower with soap and shampoo? I've never seen anyone take an outdoor post-beach shower with soap and shampoo? I've never seen anyone take an outdoor post-beach shower, period. I mean, I'm not talking about an intimate nude moment. You must know this. In the outdoor shower, it's not a nude moment.

You must know this. I don't know if I've taken an outdoor shower. When would I have had occasion to do that? At the beach after. I've told you about my relationship with the beach. It is very limited. It is limited, I suppose. I like the little foot sprayer.

I've used that a bunch. Imagine that. Like five feet higher. Okay. And then you're there basically. I'm piecing together now, the reason why you're so anti-going home because of sand is because you don't know about outdoor shower.

And outdoor shower really, really, you're not bringing in a ton of sand at that point. Is your segment outdoor shower? No, it's the whole process. It's outdoor shower, AC blast, hot indoor shower, where you get to use the sun and you get to sort of, that's more of a moisturization process because it draws it, wicks it out of you.

I don't know what to see. We didn't get in the ocean too much at Rehoboth because the waves weren't 18 feet high and the water was 18 degrees. Your hair gets so matted, right? From the sand and you get to just wash all that out and you get to just re-moisturize, revitalize, become a person again.

That is still showering, you know that, right? We are still at two showers in AC. But then you get a frosty beverage, you get a post beach lunch. If you didn't pack it and bring it yourself, that's very good. The best of all time is the post beach nap because everything about being at the beach

is exhausting and sucks and makes you feel bad. Like makes your body feel super duper bad. And so when you get home, you feel like you've run a marathon, especially after your two showers, and your sandwich, and your diet coke, and your AC blast. Now you're ready to tuck in

for a good two and a half hour long nap. You've brought an interesting precedent to Wonderful this week, because what you are doing is taking individual segments and then putting them into one experience. I never do one of these things without doing the other five things. No, I'm saying you take showers every day. I do.

Or every other day. But I don't go to the beach every day. I don't get my body. This is what I'm saying. The beach is cool. The beach is great. It's just that your segment really has nothing to do with the beach. It does because you are at the beach and you are getting fucking filthy

and you're getting so dried out and so hot and so tired. You are doing something with your day that is purposefully inconveniencing yourself in a million different ways. And I live my life trying to avoid that. I make an exception for beach. I make an exception for beach and I do it, one, because if I get in the beach vibes

and I can sail away, then I can get into that vibe. But even if I can't, even if I'm not really deeply into the beach, I know what's waiting for me back home. And it's that I'm gonna get all of this stuff off my body, I'm gonna re-moisturize and revitalize, and then I'm gonna take a two and a half hour long nap, and then I'm probably not gonna do much else with the day. But I will feel like a person, I feel like myself again.

And I feel like it's that slingshot effect of being the dirtiest, grossest you've been in a long, long, long, long time. It's a squeaky clean, outside, long, long time. It's a squeaky clean outside, cool, refreshing diet coke is on the inside. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I'm getting it. I'm getting it.

It feels like you were struggling. I remember when we went to Mexico one year and we were at this like resort and they upgraded us to a beachside villa. It was like less than a minute's walk from the bed to the ocean. You could be standing in water with a dead sprint in like 15 seconds.

And the line, the threshold between beach and the exciting stuff waiting for you after beach blurred to a point where I was suspended in a state of purest pleasure for like 72 hours. This, you see, you're bringing me back to my original, what, I think it's just that when most people go to the beach, the thing they like most is the beach. Yeah.

I mean, you're not married to most people. I do not know how you're- What you were describing is all very nice. Yes. I'm not arguing that. I'm not defending it. I know it's fucking choice. Time history is on my side.

And you know what? I know that you're on my side too. I feel like maybe I'm struggling to package this in a way that seems like it fits the nature of this show. But you get, I mean, we're talking about a solid 30 minutes of pampering and refreshing yourself. Your honor, I will have the jury note that he said minutes.

I messed up jury. I'm doing my best out here. Hey, thank you so much for listening to Wonderful. This is a show where we talk about things we like that's good we're into. I don't usually say that at the end of the show. But- People probably get really distracted

by my incredible argument. About how my segment wasn't a segment? Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, there's probably a level of- They probably forgot that this is a show about things we like and thought this is a show where people are-

Stand their ground about- People create really good arguments against what other people like. Yes, I would argue in fact that you have set a new precedent here on Wonderful with that level of scrutiny. Thank you to Bowen and Augustus for the Use My Theme song, Money Won't Pay. You can find a link to that in the episode description. Thanks to Maximum Anne and Augustus for the Easter egg theme song, Money Won't Pay.

You can find a link to that in the episode description. Thanks to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. Go to maximumfun.org, check out all of the shows that they got there. We have some merch over at macaroonmerch.com. We got a Trab Nation pin designed by Riley Woolworth and a Munch Squad sticker designed by Tyler Reed. On 10% of all proceeds this month,

we'll go to World Central Kitchen. Got some shows coming up from Mbem Mbem and Taz in Portland, for Rose City Comic Con, we're gonna be in Orlando and Atlanta and Denver and Phoenix and Indianapolis and Milwaukee later this year. If you go to bit.ly slash McRoy Tours, you can find tickets and more information. Listener submission question mark?

Yeah, let's do some. Here's a listener submission from M. In a large package of Oreos, you can't see all the Oreos and there are some hidden behind the packaging. I love when you think you've eaten all the Oreos and you reach your fingers behind the packaging and discover one more you didn't realize was there. God, that's so good.

It's really good. I saw this one from M. Listen folks, they don't gotta be big things. No. It's better if they're not. It's things that you've never thought of as being delightful before. And that's, I feel like what M has unlocked here.

Of course that's good. Of course I've experienced that a million times. Kind of brilliant packaging in a way, because it is a real thrill. It is a real thrill every time. I don't even care, it's a little busted up. Sometimes the cookie that lingers is a little bit busted up. We talked before about how stale Oreos are,

in many ways, great Oreos. You've made them into a delightful cake at that point. Adam says, my small wonder is limboing under the garage door as it's opening. I'm still young enough, I can do it comfortably, and I feel like a shapeshifter every time I do it. Oh, I wish I could see this. That's very, very good.

I feel like I have never gone through a fully opened garage door. I don't know if that is an instinct that most people share, but when I see it above, once it reaches chest height, my, like a reptile part of my brain is like, you can get under that. Not fucking limbo style, not backwards. I'd put myself in traction if I did that,

but just a little, you know, little cool duck like I'm Indiana Jones. I hadn't really missed having a garage until right now. Yeah, just because of that maneuver. Dangerous though, dangerous. And I know you did last summer. Whoa, whoa, those ladies got killed but good. Tara Reed maybe? Sarah Michelle Geller? No, I think it. Tara Reed, maybe? Sir Michelle Geller?

No, I think it was Tara Reed. It sounds like something Tara Reed would do. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for listening to Wonderful. We hope you'll join us again next week. If you wanna send us more submissions, go to wonderfulpodcast.gmail.com. Don't go there, it's not a web address.

But send emails to it with a brief description of what it is you're into. Let Em and Adam be your guide, because these were two club bangers. That's it. Till next time. Aren't you excited for the post podcast recording shower that you get to take?

How many showers are you taking? Only when I podcast or beach. I mean, you podcast a lot. Sometimes multiple times a day, do you take a shower after each, like if you do besties and- If I wanna be fresh for Clubhouse after recording Taz, yeah, I'll throw a shower.

Wow. But that'll be my first shower of the day. You know what I mean? The first of four. Well, it depends on how many podcasts I'm doing, or if I'm going to carve it depends on how many podcasts I'm doing, or if I'm going to carve it up on money won't pay. Work it on, money won't pay. Work it on, money won't pay.

Work it on, money won't pay. Music Music Maximum Fun, a workaround network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.