Wonderful! - Wonderful! 87: 200 Mile Moon Journey
Episode Date: June 12, 2019Griffin's favorite table sport! Rachel's favorite Texas gas station! Griffin's favorite cookie meal! Rachel's favorite poem about fame! Music: "Money Won't Pay" by bo en and Augustus - https://open.sp...otify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.
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hi this is rachel mcelroy hello this is griffin mcelroy and this is wonderful back at it again
with the white van white kids back at it again
damn daniel you've listened to our podcast again wonderful it's a show where we talk about things
we really are into and i've gone ahead and dang spoiled i'm talking about damn daniel ain't i
is it vans or keds is it keds or vans i think it's vans right okay yeah i think it is who's got
keds then what's's the kids meme?
I think that grape stomp lady, she was wearing kids.
That's why I got it mixed up.
Okay.
Memes are so freaking funny sometimes.
Peanut butter baby, forget about it.
I see peanut butter baby though sometimes and it makes me sad because I think about
the parent and grownup that has to clean all that up.
Yes.
I bet that would really clog your drain if you're not careful.
And your baby's beautiful pores.
We all have a good laugh at peanut butter baby, but it's kind of terrible what's happened
to the child, you know?
And also, like, I wanted to eat some of that, you freaking baby.
Oh my gosh, yes.
We didn't even consider the waste of it.
I mean, I did.
And what if one of his friends has a nut allergy?
You've basically given yourself this poisonous chitin baby.
Yeah, you gotta wash him a bunch of times.
You gotta wash him, yeah.
Or you probably can't send him to daycare if it's a nut-free environment.
Uh-huh.
Peanut butter baby is the greatest criminal of our time.
Aw, a little burglar.
But he's a little, yeah.
A little mask on.
A little gif taker.
Hey, do you have any small wonders?
I do.
Okay.
Sour cream.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just, I love it.
I just love it so much.
Loves that shit.
I put it on chili, put it on a baked potato.
Oh yeah, you slaughtered a baked potato.
Yeah.
Just smothered it.
Oh, taco salad though.
Yes.
You put it in like a sweet bread or like a cake
to like give it that rich, that richness.
For sure.
Done that before.
It took me a long time to get behind sour cream.
Can I give sour cream one note?
One piece of, the name sucks.
The name sucks.
That's true.
This is rotten beef.
It's beef that's gone rotten.
And you can eat it with your taco salad.
Like yogurt.
Yogurt is, I think, similar in some ways.
But that's like its own thing.
Sour cream is like, like it should really be called like
slooper well that's not good either babe okay um
i mean i'm on a monopoetic option it's always very exciting for me uh yeah i'd like three tacos
uh and can i get glop on the side guac and glop uh my small wonder
is of course animal crossing new horizons announced today at e3 bumped the date back a bit
it was supposed to come out in 2019 now it's coming out march 20 2020 2020 2020 and that means nine
months and that's a fucking long time um see i didn't know i've Oh, yeah. You must be so excited to hear another one is coming.
But you have been waiting, I guess.
Right.
They announced it, I think, at a surprise announcement at the end of last E3.
But it was just like Tom Nook.
And he was like, what's up, motherfuckers?
It's me.
And everybody's like, whoa, 2019 is going to happen.
And then nothing for like an entire year.
And who is Tom?
He is the raccoon who he will sell sell you a house and he's like come on
move into my house and you're like cool and you move in you get all your stuff and he's like you
owe me fifty thousand dollars so you have to get fifty thousand dollars they all have names yeah
oh yeah oh yeah there's tom nook there's gracie the fashion giraffe who's that alligator god
rachel despises that that very sexy alligator saw that alligator? God, Rachel despises that very sexy alligator.
I saw that alligator flirting with my husband.
You have talked about this alligator.
This alligator is like your main target of rage that our listeners know about.
Listen, Griffin works from home, so I don't necessarily have to worry about any workplace romance.
It's true, except for this one alligator.
Except for that alligator.
Yeah.
It's cool, man. You got that i alligator yeah it's cool man you
got a little island and you can build whatever you want wherever you want you could build a bench
and just like set it on the beach how chill is that it's gonna be so chill it's got two players
you can play with me and we'll just like run around and i was excited because the little
video i saw had a nice clothesline in it and i always appreciate a clothesline love that there's
nothing more chill than a clothesline hey who goes first this week i have no idea i got all thrown
off because the episode we missed when um we all got such bad diarrhea yeah it really threw me for
a real uh a real glorp but i go first this week okay good my first thing this week is table tennis
the small tennis that you play on a table.
Some people call it ping pong.
Yeah.
But I'm going to call it table.
No, I'm going to switch between them at will just to make this as confusing.
It's the same thing.
There's not a difference between table tennis and ping pong. See, now I'm all hung up on like if it's a regional thing or if it's like scotch tape.
I'm going to answer that.
It is.
Yeah.
Okay.
You spelled it, but it is branded
ping pong is like a a trademarked name of what table tennis can be and it is also on a monopoetic
how how fantastic what a good word that is i know like i get where poetic sort of gets in there at
the end but what but then like the person who made the word was like what if we open up with like um so when i was younger we would go over to my aunt brenda's house from time to time she
lived in ironton and a bunch of other family lived there too but we go over there for thanksgiving
brenda and uh thanksgiving like the minor holiday we go over there for like fourth of july sometimes
uh and that was fun because the you know we loved our family we still do and uh the food was always
good and they had a pool a hot tub and a ping pong table in the basement so we would and a hot
pool hot tub ping pong table so righteous and it was really fun there uh and we would we would go over there and play
and i was never very good because like we weren't going there frequently enough for me to really
practice then in high school our gym class was so wildly unregimented and it was very
montessori like just explore the space and like chase what excites you. And what excited me was the ping pong table that they had in the storage room.
And so there was like a circuit of kids in my class that we would just play ping pong.
I'm picturing like a bouncer, like Sean being like, hey, Griffin, your turn's up.
I mean, yeah, kind of.
We have only the one table.
So we would, you know, we would have to share it.
And usually it would be a sort of winner
gets to say situation uh but i played it constantly right like with the years where i had gym class
like i was just always always playing ping pong and so i started to get like kind of good at it
and uh i was thinking back on that uh because the here in austin they will have some outdoor
ping pong tables at like hip bars although those are in my experience largely unplayable
due to environmental factors and also the fact that you're at a bar and so if a ball
gets lost like i don't want to go chase it under a bunch of people's legs uh but it's great it's
like what i like about it i think i i always did kind of like tennis i played it a few times when
i was younger because we grew up next to a tennis court but gosh there's so much running and that's
what ping pong is is somebody was like tennis is great but can we make it
smaller so you don't have to run and I think so I think that's how we got racquetball as well which
I've never played but always looks really fun it does look fun um so the feel of a ping pong paddle
I want everybody to just like close your eyes and imagine holding a ping pong yeah you know like somebody will hold like a weapon of some sort and like they feel powerful
because of that which is messed up i feel that about a ping pong paddle because of just the
weight of it feels good the rubber whether it's like bumpy or smooth that feels good and you just
like can't pick one up and hold a ball in your other hand and not just like instinctively try to start bouncing it.
Like it just feels so good.
It's like the exact right size.
It's perfect.
It seems like physics must have gone into designing the exact right size and shape of that thing.
Did you know the size of the ping pong ball has changed?
Very recently there's like a table tennis.
I saw this online.
I didn't take a note about it.
But like the table tennis governing organization that like manages the world circuit or whatever, wanted to make it more exciting for TV.
So they like reduced the number of points that you needed to score to win.
And then they changed the padding on the paddle, like the regulation paddle, so that the ball would travel faster.
And they also changed the size of the ball from i think 38 millimeters to 40 millimeters
so it'd be a little bit easier to track on tv this reminds me of when they were trying to popularize
hockey yeah and they put that little blue light you remember that little blue light over the puck
did john boyce do a thing about i remember i watched like a sports documentary online about
it and i think his are the only sports documentaries
I watch online I just I just remember this thing of like oh well people are having trouble following
the puck so let's just put this little blue light on it on their television screen and it didn't
didn't work doesn't but the technology that went into that was apparently like the wildest technological innovation um so uh like a lot of sort of like
lazy games that i am into uh ping pong started as a started in victorian england as an upper
class parlor game uh and i imagine it didn't get as intense with the you know top spins and the
the you know diving around corners that you'll see at like the pro level.
But British military officers in India in the 1860s or 1870s, they brought the game back with them.
But like back then, they didn't have like rules necessarily.
There wasn't like a regular, there wasn't a governing body for the ping pong circuit.
necessarily there wasn't like a regular there wasn't a governing body for the ping pong circuit um so a lot of the time they would just play on a big table with a row of books lined up
as the as the net um and they would you know use a golf ball or whatever because the the exact sort
of little hollow plastic ball hadn't necessarily been invented yet is the scoring like tennis
no i don't uh yes because i realized, I don't. Yes.
Because I realized that I don't think I've ever learned the rules to ping pong.
It was just kind of like you played until you didn't feel like playing anymore.
Well, yeah, you do P-I-N-G to decide who goes first, who serves first.
Oh, okay.
See, I didn't even know that.
Yeah, and then I believe it's, I think you can only score on your server when you, no, no, no,
no, you can score whenever.
But every five points, the server changes.
That's how we always played in high school.
See, I did have a ping pong table, but this isn't going to be another sad only child story.
Oh, man.
And then I didn't get to play very often because it was just me well that didn't
stop forrest gump did it you know that's true i never even thought about pushing it against the
table um so uh jay jock and son limited was a british like manufacturer uh and in 1901 they trademarked the name ping pong um but it was sort of called that like pretty
widely before they had the trademark and despite the fact that they had a trademark because people
were using the name ping pong to describe the game other manufacturers were just like using
it willy-nilly without like caring about it much uh And then Parker brothers bought the,
the rights to the name ping pong shortly, shortly thereafter for,
for use in the United States.
But like,
again,
like people just called this fucking game ping pong.
Right.
And so everybody else was selling their thing as ping pong.
And then in 1920,
they started like suing everybody so that theirs could only be called ping pong.
And that's where the name table tennis came from.
So table tennis is actually the less common.
It's not like it started as table tennis and then became ping pong.
It was actually the other way around, which I thought was interesting.
Anyway, ping pong's great.
It's the focus of the best scenes in Friday Night Lights.
And one day, I hope we have one in our garage.
And just like I can share special moments
with my son in there.
Yeah.
What's your first thing?
My first thing is Bucky's.
Bucky's.
Yes.
Can I tell you something?
Yes.
I snuck into the kitchen
and ate a bunch of Bucky nugs today
while you were home.
While I was home?
While you were home, yeah.
You had gotten home. What was I doing? You you were home, yeah. You had gotten home.
I had gotten Henry home.
You were hanging out with Henry
and I walked in the kitchen to get something
and I thought a little snack roll
would sound pretty good right now.
So I dug around in the snack roll drawer
and there's a big bag of Bucky Nugs.
And so I dipped into those
and I just get, once you pop,
you cannot stop with the Bucky Nugs.
Oh my God, talk about Buckies.
So every once in a while,
I'll sit in preparation for the show
and I'll think about things that are regional or local
that other people in the country might not know about
that I could bring to the show
to kind of welcome others to our world.
Yes.
And like number one on that list is Bucky's.
Has to be Bucky's.
Bucky's is a thing where if you live in Texas,
you know what it is and you love it because it's not like a small thing, but it's just in Texas. Yes.
So there's like 40 nationwide.
And when I say nationwide, I mean Texas, Alabama and Florida.
And like 36 of them are in Texas.
Right.
But it is a chain of convenience stores and gas stations
and its headquarters
is in Lake Jackson, Texas.
It opened in 1982.
We gotta get there.
We gotta make the fucking
pilgrimage at some point.
It's owned by
Arch Beaver Alpin III.
What?
Uh-huh.
Well, that's just like
his nickname.
Oh, okay.
You've gotta put the quotes
in there, babe,
because you made me think that a man is running around there called Beaver. I mean, leave it to Beaver. uh-huh well it's just like his nickname oh okay you gotta put the quotes in there babe because
you made me think that a man is running around there called beaver i mean leave it to beaver
that's probably a nickname too huh and also a fictional show uh and don wasek um alpin or sorry
aplin the beef the beef formed the name buckucky's by combining his childhood nickname, the name of his Labrador,
Buck, as well as the appeal of a Pana Toothpaste animated mascot, Bucky the Beaver.
So you didn't really combine shit.
You just stole this toothpaste mascot.
Yeah, I guess.
And this was, I looked this up.
This was like a toothpaste thing in the 50s that I'm not familiar with.
But apparently there was a toothbrush mascot okay
toothpaste i mean they got prominent teeth i guess bucky's by the way is spelled b-u-c-c-e-e-s
uh b-u-c hyphen e-e apostrophe s oh yeah sorry sorry everybody i put two one to me season it's okay so the one we know very well opened in 2012
it's the largest travel center in the world whoa holy shit i should have assumed that is true
because it's it's so i feel like you haven't explained what bucky's like i said it's a
convenience store and gas station oh but it's so much it much. Guys, hey guys, it's the size of a fucking Ikea.
It's so big.
It's 68,000 square feet.
It's so big.
The store has 120 fueling stations, 83 toilets, 31 cash registers.
83 toilets!
And 80 fountain drink dispensers you could fit 22 average size 7-elevens inside
or two average size whole foods or if you think about a walmart neighborhood store yeah they are
40 smaller than this bucky's this bucky's is so dope. It has everything. It has everything.
They have private labeled beef jerky, novelty candy, trail mixes, granola, pralines, jarred vegetables, preserves, and salsa.
And a popular brand and product, which is a caramel and butter glazed corn puff known as beaver nuggets.
Or Buc-ee nuggets.
Or Buc-ee nuggets.
Or Buc-ee nugs, if you will.
These things are so freaking good imagine the cereal corn pops only like covered in an even crunchier like candy not candy coating
but like caramel coating it is so so so good they're very good you'll eat like one or two
and you'll think like i don't see what the fuss is about and then you will have eaten 37 in one minute they have like um the same way like kind of cracker barrel does it where they will
have like their own branded candy of every imaginable imaginable stripe like they will have
you know their own special lemon drops their own special like all of that stuff they make a pecan
roll that is a pecan log i should say that's like a marshmallow sort of uh log
covered in like sweet candy pecans with nougat oh my god that's really good yeah so they have
their own deli counter you can get hot foods they have their own fudge counter uh in the store
and um there's there was an article in business insiderider about Buc-ee's, and they called it, the experience of going to Buc-ee's is like wandering into a mix of a Walmart, a barbecue-centric deli, and the Texas Tourism Bureau, plus a dash of the Cracker Barrel General Store.
It's unbelievably good.
They have home decor.
They have a lot of T-shirtsshirts with Bucky on the front.
Yes.
You can buy towels.
The New Braunfels one is close to the river where a lot of people float.
And so you can buy like flip-flops and swimsuits.
It's also close to.
Go and slid a bun.
Well.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
The hottest, coolest time in Texas.
Listen, living in Texas can be exhausting sometimes because of some
of the things we got going on here but man you get a you stop at bucky's while you're on your
way to schlitterbahn and you are fucking living the best life man it makes me i will also say
that they uh take care of their employees pretty well. They advertise in every store the wages of their employees,
and it starts at $13 to $15 an hour.
You get three weeks paid time off over time and a 401k.
Hey, all right, Buc-ee's.
Yeah, it ain't bad.
So Buc-ee's is tremendously popular in Texas,
and they have had to very carefully guard their brand.
In 2014, they filed a lawsuit against another convenience store
called Frio Beaver.
Their logo also depicted a beaver
in a yellow circle with a black outline.
In 2016, they went off
to another Texas convenience store
called Choke Canyon Barbecue,
which uses a logo of a grinning alligator
in the middle of a yellow circle.
Well, that one seems a little...
Yeah, if you put an animal in a circle, you're in trouble.
So let me tell you about what's new in Buc-ee's.
Oh, shit.
Is there new stuff at Buc-ee's?
In late 2018, Buc-ee's announced a deal with Tush Lights
to put indicator lights in bathrooms to alert which stalls are occupied.
My dog!
This is going to start in Katy in Temple, Texas.
Bring it to the new Braunfels one as fast as possible.
We need this technology everywhere.
They won an award in 2012 for how clean their restrooms were.
So clean.
So clean.
It's incredible.
If you're driving in Texas, you see one of these things, pull over.
I don't care if you just got gas.
So apparently not all of the Buc-ee's are.
There's a very small Buc-ee's in Brazoria, Texas that only has six fueling stations.
But the one in New Braunfels, 120.
Wow.
83 toilets.
Wow.
I will say, love Buc-ee's.
Yes.
Holds a very special place in my heart.
Yes.
One time I got some sugar-free gummy bears from there while we were on our way to WrestleMania.
And I just. Griffin. What? You cannot blame that on Buc-ee's you ate too many. One time I got some sugar-free gummy bears from there while we were on our way to WrestleMania.
Griffin.
What?
You cannot blame that on Bucky's you ate too many.
I ate some sugar-free gummy bears on my way to WrestleMania.
I pooped out a couple of vertebrae.
It was so bad.
It was so bad.
It was the worst.
I'm saying I know.
It's on me.
I shouldn't have eaten the candies that made me poop out the spine i get it it's on me but they shouldn't be selling that poison or they should sell them
in packages of four packages of four discreet gummy bears and also the way they have on cigarettes
like if you're pregnant this whole fuck you clean up dog i promise we need those on these sugar-free gummy bears and they need to be written specifically to me sugar-free gummy bears
because i'm trying to watch my glucose levels but they didn't know it's worth it's not worth it
those few points off my glucose if it means i'm gonna miss the first couple matches because I'm in the toilet screaming Bucky's name.
So that's Bucky's, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah.
Can I steal you away?
Yes.
Nice.
You want to hear a personal message?
Yes.
This one is for Mitchell.
It is from Sarah.
Hey, best pal.
We're finally married.
Hooray.
I hope our first few days slash weeks as married grown-up people have been, well, wonderful.
I love you so very much, and I'm super excited to start the next chapter of our lives together in Pittsburgh, Iowa.
Location TBD.
Pittsburgh is not in Iowa.
I'll stop you right there.
Thanks for being my DM, best friend, and now legally my life buddy forever.
Love, Egg.
That is so sweet.
That's very sweet.
It is really good.
Egg is a great little pet name.
And Pittsburgh is not in Iowa.
I just want, I know that you weren't saying it like that,
but I don't want our fans to get confused
because they do sometimes.
That's true.
We're influencers, you know,
and we could influence people
into thinking there was a Pittsburgh, Iowa.
Here's a message for Mike and it's from Tarsi.
Wait.
No, Tracy.
Tracy.
It's from Tracy.
This one is from Mike, and it is from Tarasai.
This one's from Mike, and it's from Tracy, who says,
Hey, hun, can't believe we made it another year.
2018 was really rough, and I'm so happy we've stuck it out.
I'm so proud of you and all you've accomplished and Hazel,
and i love
you to the moon and back that's pretty freaking far that's like 200 miles how far is that to the
moon i have you would guess much closer than me how far let's hear your guess because i said 200
miles probably not 200 miles oh no i was a little bit off
they're gonna people are gonna make fun of me baby well here i'll guess and it'll make you
feel better okay a thousand two hundred and thirty eight thousand nine hundred miles
it's really far and you know what if i'm thinking about it if it is 200 miles away
it would not be a big deal to get there it would not take very long
oh jesus well you know i um i think nasa's gonna pass on us yeah unfortunately um but you know
we've got zip recruiter so so we'll find something else.
Well, Alexis, we got big news.
Uh-oh. Season one, done. It's over.
Season two, coming at you hot.
Three years after.
Three and a half. Three and a half. Technically almost four years.
Alright. And now, listen, here at
Can I Pet Your Dog? The Smash It Podcast,
our seasons run for three and a half years.
And then in season two, we come at you
with new, hot co-hosts named you.
Hi, I'm Alexis.
And I'm also Em.
All the field troops.
Dog tech.
Yeah.
Dog news.
Dog news.
Celebrity guests.
Oh, big shots.
Will not let them talk about their resume.
Nope.
Only the dogs.
Only the dogs.
I mean, if ever you were going to get in to Can I Pet Your Dog.
Now's the time.
Get in here.
Every Tuesday.
At MaximumFun.org.
Hey, can I tell you my second thing? Yes. Fig Newtons. Whoa. Whoa. I'm coming at you from all
sides today. I didn't know you were that big of a fan. I wasn't. Let me get this out of the way
right now. You used to not like these things. You used to not be a big fan. Well, because if you
think of it as a cookie. If you think of it as a cookie if you think of it as a cookie you're kind of heading down the wrong track well maybe and i think that's why they had
their whole fruit and cake campaign right they did have that and that was a i would say a missed
opportunity for them because i think if they just said this is the good cookie then people would
have gone for it or if they'd labeled it as a fig biscuit i think then we may be getting a little
bit closer to where we need to get that be my pet name for you yeah i believe that it should be uh
there is a new source of joy in my life because henry is like obsessed with them henry is obsessed
with the like fig newton concept more than the brand we mostly get him these oh by the way we
have like three left we have got to get to costco
and get some more yes because if i don't give him one of these in the car ride home from school
every day he's he will he will shank me in the neck while i'm driving um can you do your impression
of him saying it uh fiba so great fiba which is fig bar uh but anyway uh like all of like henry's
favorite food i do end up eating a lot of it um
just when he turns it away or is sometimes he'll just eat one and there's two in a pouch there's
two in a pouch thank you fig newtons um so like if i was in a cookie mood growing up i'd reach for
a chips ahoy i'd reach for an oreo um but fig newtons they occupy such a unique sort of flavor
space that like these days i just cannot get enough of. Flavor is great.
It's fruity and it's mellow and it's like, you know, it's got the sweet and doughy and crumbly
sort of stuff going on there. It has a lot of stuff going on for it that I'm very excited about
in the flavor department. But like the thing I'm gaga about is that mouthfeel. The mouthfeel of eating a Fig Newton is so, it is a toothy, it is just a toothsome cookie.
Have you ever just eaten a fig?
I've never just eaten a fig now that I'm thinking about it.
I feel like I have in a salad.
I don't, yeah, maybe.
It's such a unique flavor.
Yeah, I've eaten dates. That's probably not, I don't know yeah, maybe. It's such a unique flavor. Yeah, I've eaten dates.
That's probably not, I don't know what a fig is, I guess.
If I put a gun to my head, I don't know how far away the moon is or what a fig is even.
They're not like, they feel filling, right?
I feel like they feel more filling than a regular cookie.
If I got filled up on
oreos then i would have an upset tummy but you eat two fig newtons and i feel like it's a cookie
that's a meal also yeah you know what i mean and they come in like a cool like holster it's not a
traditional package they come in like a rifle magazine of fig newtons they are like perfectly mouth shaped uh fig newtons are just
very very good and i eat them pretty much every day now which is probably not ideal um so back
in the olden days and like the the 19th century um a lot of health before like doctors were you
know doctors were doing their best but they thought
like pretty much all diseases were uh could be attributed to like digestive issues so they
recommended a diet that contained healthy portions of uh fruits and biscuits which is so dope doctors
were like y'all what do you got going on oh man gout gotta eat some cookies man i'm telling you you gotta take it from me a
doctor you gotta eat cookies so fig rolls sort of became a thing around this time and it was just
like a homemade recipe that people would just like whip up um and in 1891 a baker living in
philadelphia whose name is charles ros, invented a machine that could just jam fig
paste up into pastry dough.
And so it started to become like a little bit more automated.
There's a company in Massachusetts that's called the Kennedy Biscuit Company that bought
the patent on that fruit jamming technology and started to mass produce them.
And so that company is based in Massachusetts. The name Fig Newton actually comes from the nearby town of Newton, Massachusetts.
Nearby to where the, I forget the actual town that the company existed in, but Newton, Massachusetts.
A lot of people think it has something to do with Sir Isaac Newton.
It does not.
It is named for this town.
Another thing I didn't realize is that the Kennedy Biscuit uh would soon merge with the new york biscuit company uh and they these two like mondo businesses
they would come together to form the national biscuit company which is nabisco oh i thought
you were to say nbc we can't release this episode we can't release this episode the i can't wait for the next and
final season of the good place to come from the national biscuit company it's so good
i'm sorry nabisco so anyway they are today they are nabisco's third best-selling cookie the first one's got to be
oreo i don't i guess this the second one has to be like i didn't think fig newton's were that
popular i mean it's their third best-selling cookie right it's not like they're um you know
they came in third place for this i guess i don't know how many cookies they have but it seems like
probably a lot well they sell more than a billion bars a year so i'd say it's fairly popular um and recently they've been sort
of like evolving right they have different flavors now it's not necessarily just a fig uh you know
they have like an apple cinnamon one and a raspberry one they also make a whole grain bar
the one that we buy at uh at costco is like a whole grain sort of crust, and that's good, too.
And something I didn't realize, and this may, it blew my mind.
It rocked me to my core today.
It's like a full-blown Mandela effect thing.
They're not called Fig Newtons.
They're just called Newtons.
No. They're just called Newtons. No.
They're just called Newtons now.
They changed the name in like 2012. So for about seven years now, they've just been called Newtons and nobody realized it.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Because they want the freedom to move outside the fig?
I found a Huffington Post article.
Okay. want the freedom to move outside the fig i found a huffington post article okay uh jeff hilton
co-founder of an advertising agency called integrated marketing group told the new york
times that people associate figs like prunes with old people which isn't exactly a selling point
hence nabisco's introduction of other fruit fillings and the eventual drop of fig in the name
figs are not hot Figs are not hot.
Figs are not sexy.
See, now I want to look on YouTube and see if there's like cool skateboarders with backwards
hats like asking each other for Newtons.
Yeah.
It sounds illicit when you put it like that.
I think that this is a discriminatory and shameful decision on their part.
But also, I don't know what a fig is or looks
like so if we're talking about brand appeal your name your cookie could not be mystery food town
in massachusetts it's a wild i get it now i kind of get it now yo what's up bro you got any extra
newts is what they would say in the commercial yeah yeah yeah uh and they'll be like chatting online
later and they'd be like hey man send send me some newts please send newts anyway whatever
you're calling fig newtons newtons newts whatever they own bones these are good cookies they're
very good cookies what's your second thing my second thing is a trip to the poetry corner all right
all that she wants was that what i was singing no but i tried to think of lyrics uh-huh and you
know what freaking happened that all i could think about was the ace of base
song all that she wants is another baby you could change it to another poem you're right let me do
that again okay all right boom all that she wants isn't did you want to get more bass in there
because you did like one note and i didn't know if you wanted to do it under my
no i'm gonna let you solo this one Oh, that she wants is another baby.
Dang it.
I just, the original song is so good.
The poet I am bringing to the corner today.
Oh, I hope it's someone I know.
You will not.
You will not.
It's Naomi Shahab Nyeye i don't know yeah born in 1952 uh her father is palestinian her mom is
american she grew up in st louis all right uh and then moved to jerusalem uh when she was She was 15 years old, I believe.
And she eventually came back to the States and now lives in San Antonio.
She moved to San Antonio to go to college.
She went to Trinity University.
Okay.
And she is now a professor at Texas State.
Okay.
What's her thing?
What's her deal?
What's her thing? Well well so she has written 18 novels
short stories and poetry books uh she's worked as an editor an anthologist a songwriter and she
also spent 15 years traveling across texas as a visiting writer with the texas commission on the
arts hell yeah in inner city schools or rural communities um she is like uh many of my favorite poets and that she writes very much about the
everyday okay um her poetry is very accessible and she's totally fine with that there's like
no part of her that you know feels like sheepish about that um she started trying to publish her
work at age seven awesome i watched this interview with her in 2012 where she talked about
how um like she had a librarian at her local library that kind of helped walk her through
the process of sending out work to be published and like told her all about like the self-addressed
stamp envelope and so her mom had no idea and started getting these letters in the mail
with her handwriting written to herself she She thought her child was insane.
Oh, my God.
But apparently she started publishing when she was a kid.
She just has always been very dedicated to poetry.
And she writes a lot about her experience being Palestinian and being in Jerusalem as a young person.
But she also writes about stuff that, you know, anybody could experience.
And so I wanted to read a little bit from her poem that's called Famous.
Let her rip.
The river is famous to the fish.
The loud voice is famous to silence, which knew it would inherit the earth before anybody
said so. The cat sleeping on the
fence is famous to the birds, watching him from the birdhouse. The tear is famous, briefly, to the
cheek. The idea you carry close to your bosom is famous to your bosom. The boot is famous to the
earth, more famous than the dress shoe, which is famous only to floors.
The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it and not at all famous to the one who is pictured.
I want to be famous to shuffling men who smile while crossing streets.
Sticky children in grocery lines, famous as the one who smiled back.
grocery lines famous as the one who smiled back. I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular, but because it never forgot what
it could do. That's really good. Isn't that nice? It's like she's written a lot of stuff for young
adults and received a lot of recognition for it. And I just, I feel like there's something very global about her poetry,
but like so minute too.
And she said she wrote that so when she was going into schools
and she'd like be a visiting artist, the kids would be like,
Miss, are you famous?
And she realized they would pay more attention to her if she said yes.
Yes, I am extremely famous.
And so she just used this poem
as a way of saying that, you know, whatever your eye falls on is famous to you and to kind of get
you to pay more attention in your real world. And I've pulled that from a 2012 interview she did.
She's just a big advocate for poetry being accessible.
Uh, she said that everybody's kind of born with that poetic spirit.
And it's only as you get older that a lot of people lose it.
She quoted some famous poet and now I don't remember who it was cause I, I had never heard of him, but people always ask the question of like, when did you start writing poetry?
And she said, you know, to paraphrase this man, he responded, when did you start writing poetry? And she said, you know,
to paraphrase this man, he responded, when did you stop? You know, because that in some ways,
that's the more appropriate question of everybody kind of grows up with this curiosity and this
playfulness with language and this way of looking at the world that's very creative.
And then at some point, they just kind of pull back from it and i and she makes the point that like poets just stay stay tapped into that yeah so uh yeah so i wanted to share her um she's really well published
but not especially well known yeah i mean you would think law of large numbers as many books
as she's put out i yeah uh cool thank you Thank you for sharing. I always feel weird thanking you at the end.
It's the only bit that I thank you for.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you didn't thank me for Bucky's, although your spirit did thank me.
I have a grateful spirit for, I guess, Bucky's existing.
Hey, can I tell you what our friends at home are excited about?
Yes.
Jim says, my small wonder is the sound of high heels on a hard floor i usually wear
sneakers to work but whenever i do wear heels that click clack uh sound never fails to make me feel
like a boss uh i like i i have a pair of dress shoes i never wear because why do i need them
that i did wear out to the theater. Oh, yeah. That sound.
That should have been our small wonder this week.
I guess it was kind of too big to be a small wonder.
Yeah, it was a pretty big wonder.
We got to go see Hamilton. We got to see Hamilton, yeah.
Lynn took us out to dinner and took us to the show.
It was real nice.
Thank you, Lynn.
It was very sweet.
He told us he falls asleep to the show,
which I think now we have subliminal control over his mind.
Hey, hey, hey, why don't you go write a play about Alf?
Why don't you do the Alf play?
It's time for you to write the Alf play, Lynn.
When you wake up, you're going to put pen to paper on the Alf play.
Here's one from Channing who says,
I love when there's a big gentle dip in the road
so that when you're driving at a normal speed over it, you get a tiny roller coaster ride in your car.
Yes.
Route 10, I believe it was, in Huntington going out into Ohio.
Justin and Sydney used to have a house out there.
It was like there's a starter home in the area.
And that road was so wild.
It was really dangerous.
It was a very dangerous route,
but it was hilly and curvy
and just like every time you drove down it,
it felt like you were, I don't know,
like in a video game set in San Francisco,
just like going over the hills and soaring for 10 seconds.
And one more, this is more of an update than a submission.
And the update says,
it was Dave and Buster's.
Only three people saw, though, so we're good.
Sincerely,
ol' Nip Slip Kelly.
Oh, thank you, Kelly.
So dope. Thank you, Kelly.
Thank you for that update. You're my hero. And thank you tolly dope thank you kelly thank you for that update you're my hero
and thank you to bowen and augustus for the use of our theme song money won't pay you can find a
link to that in the episode description uh we have a bunch of stuff at macroy.family other shows
other videos uh tickets to shows we just announced a new taz show in San Diego during Comic-Con and one in
DC,
I believe.
Yes.
Uh,
before our like Northeast tour.
Uh,
so yeah,
come,
come out and see us.
Rachel and I are also going to be guests on Jordan,
Jesse go,
uh,
here in Austin on what?
The 29th of June.
I believe so.
It's somewhere around there.
You can also find details
for that uh on on our website and at maximumfund.org which has great shows like great shows
like can I pet your dog yeah and stop podcasting yourself and greatest generation and story break
bubble and so many more all at maximum fun.org and what i mean what else
bye money I'm ready I'm ready
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I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. We are the host of My Brother, My Brother and Me, and now nearly 10 years into our podcast, the secret can be revealed.
All the clues are in place, and the world's greatest treasure hunt can now begin.
Embedded in each episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me is a micro clue that will lead you to 14 precious gemstones all around this big, beautiful blue world of ours.
So start combing through the episodes. to 14 precious gemstones all around this big, beautiful blue world of ours.
So start combing through the episodes.
Let's say starting at episode 101 on.
Yeah, the early episodes are pretty problematic, so there's no clues in those episodes.
No, no, not at all.
The better ones, the good ones, clues ahoy.
Listen to every episode repeatedly in sequence.
Laugh if you must, but mainly get all the great clues.
My brother, my brother and me,
it's an advice show, kind of,
but a treasure hunt mainly.
Anywhere you find podcasts or treasure maps.
My brother, my brother and me,
the hunt is on!