Wonderful! - Wonderful! 92: SUMMER 'VIEW 2019 EDITION

Episode Date: July 17, 2019

One of us is going on a dang book tour again, so we put together this special, midseason Summer pre-re-view for you! Learn what's hot (SUMMER JOKE) and what's not before you kick off your summer, now,... in the middle of July! Music: "Money Won't Pay" by bo en and Augustus - https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. This is wonderful. Sorry about my irascible tone, but I want to take this one real serious. Oh, okay. I think this is going to be a pretty somber one at the end of the day when you think about it. Mellow tones and real serious business-like stuff here.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Hey, Griffin. Oh, mm-hmm. Is it opposite day? I'll tell you what it freaking is. It's the kickoff to summer, imagine. Please use your imagination. It's middle of is. It's the kickoff to summer. Imagine. Please use your imagination. It's middle of July. Shh, the kickoff.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Okay. Everybody knows that summer gets here late like a cool teen at a cool party. That's never been true for me, by the way. If you show up late to my party, you're a stinker. That's how I feel about it. You are no cool points. Here's the damn situation, folks. And again, sorry for all the cursing.
Starting point is 00:01:08 I'm on book tour right now. I'm off peddling my bullshit all across this great nation of ours, by which I mean in three cities, one of which is the one where I'm currently recording from. So it's not like I'm, you know, Gulliver or whatever. Anyway, I'm not here right now. And we had to do an episode though, didn't we? Yeah, Sunday night.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Because y'all are just- Not our usual time. Not our usual time. Didn't give ourselves the usual amount of prep time for it. So we're doing a 2019 Summer Spectacular Summer Preview. We did this last year. We got a lot of feedback on it of many kinds and so we're gonna take another just freaking swing at it and get people excited about the hot months you know
Starting point is 00:01:51 i was looking last time yeah did that episode in june did we yeah so what's the i know what a preview is and i know what a review is is this just a view because we're not after the okay it's just a summer views 2019 summer views uh yeah so we're gonna talk about some hot summer shit because we did not have a lot of time to prep because i am on book tour theadventurezonecomic.com please buy it please buy it it's really good uh you got any small wonders though i didn't even think about small wonders i guess it's all kind of small wonders if you think about it yeah i got one okay because it's not summer it could be if you want to get really inventive with how you celebrate summer but i'm gonna say gnocchi oh delicious stuff this
Starting point is 00:02:36 is the pasta pillow that you can take a nap on or freaking eat it i love this shit any kind of sauce mushroom sauce red sauce white sauce uh cream cream sauce apuchin whatever you feel like putting on these pillows yeah it's always you're gonna have yourself a primo time it's always good that also reminds me that my small wonder should be that dessert that we had when we went out to dinner rachel and i went to Locodoro here in Austin. It's a premier pasta establishment. And also we did, we also got a big cannoli mess. Yeah. It was like cannoli shells and ice cream and whipped cream and chocolate chips. And cherries.
Starting point is 00:03:19 And also they did put gold leaf on it. It was a little, it was a little much for me. It was a generous portion too. It was a generous portion too. It was a generous portion, but did we join the clean bowl club? You know that we freaking did. Neither of that is summer, so it sucks. What are we talking about this summer 2019 view?
Starting point is 00:03:37 Okay. I want to start out. Yeah. Summer songs. Summer songs. Where are we at? Did this bit on the bim bambo is mostly goofs. Can we get real about it?
Starting point is 00:03:48 Can we be real for a fucking second? So I like listen to the radio. I'm maybe one of the last people still listen to that radio. But Windows Down, Summer Songs. That's the way we like. Jeez, Griffin. Sorry, sorry. breakdown summer songs that's the way we like jeez griffin sorry sorry um so i thought i'd take you on a little tour of the summer songs from 2011 okay why because that's when we met oh yeah what was on the radio spurring on our just our desires number one party rock anthem that was it for me yeah um i'm just gonna jump down to number three because i don't remember number two number two was give me everything pitbull
Starting point is 00:04:32 yeah i wasn't a big follower of pitbull stuff like i am today number three though rolling in the deep adele oh okay yeah so that was she was just getting started on the scene then wow wait hey guess what we've been together for a while, huh? Yeah, right? Nicki Minaj, Super Bass. Oh, fuck yes. That song kicks ass. That is such a good one.
Starting point is 00:04:52 So you know, like, beginning of our relationship, Hot Summer. Hot Summer, Hot Summer Jams. Super Bass is such a beautiful love song, too. I love that shit. What's going on this summer? What is legitimately what is the summer song? It's that Old Town Road song. Oh, yeah. Isn't that what what's going on this summer what's the what is legitimately what is the summer song is that old town road song oh yeah isn't that what it's called i adore that song and i adore the creator of it only i don't really like the song very much but i'm so happy it exists when i hear
Starting point is 00:05:18 it come on the radio and i listen to it i'm like i'm so glad that this song is where it is i'm so glad that it exists even though i don't enjoy it musically even a little bit i was i like i i'm not very familiar with the phenomenon so i just went to youtube and checked out one of the versions and i was like all right from what i understand one of the versions has billy ray cyrus and one of them and one of them does not have billy ray cyrus and i think there's more versions too i don't know which one is like the donnie darko director's cut that's like the intended version of the song but any opportunity to excise mr cyrus and his dark works uh i'm like you got well i've got how freaking long the day lasts in summertime we're recording this what is it it is like 8 49 it's just now like starting to get a little bit dark it's just
Starting point is 00:06:04 it's still kind of bright outside. I can still make out some shapes out there. Sun hasn't even fully set yet, and it's 8.49 p.m. I love that. I love that. It makes it feel like just your life is long. It's just everything's longer. Everything's stretched out and just so casual.
Starting point is 00:06:20 It makes it harder to convince a two-and-a-half-year-old that it is time for him to go to sleep, even though it is fully, fully, just fully bright outside. It is fully, you could go outside and definitely read a book. No issue. You could go out and play an old game boy. No issue. Don't worry about it. So, but I like it. I like it for me. Me too. Yeah. There's just too much of a swing, you know, during this, during the regular,
Starting point is 00:06:48 the fall months, the winter months, it gets dark at like five 30. Yeah. And now it gets dark at nine o'clock. Like that's a huge swing. I guess that's going to do with the planet and the way it does its stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Where we are with the sun. Where are we with the sun? Where are we at? Nobody knows. No one's quite sure. What's the deal with that. Where are we with the sun? Where are we at? Nobody knows. No one's quite sure what's the deal with that big hot guy up in the sky. No one quite knows. A lot of people are saying chariots pulling it.
Starting point is 00:07:13 I hear that. I say the horses have burned up maybe, but who knows? What's your, huh? I don't know. What was that that you just said about the chariots? It is like Hermes. Why don't he pull the sun with the chariots? Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:07:26 See, I don't know. Yeah, I only know from God of War. It's a video game. Oh, there we go. Pretty sure you tear like his feet off so you get double jump or something. Those games are so horrifically violent. Two, what's number two? Fruit.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Just summer fruit. Just watermelon, cherries, blueberriesries blueberries strawberries peaches pineapple i can't believe you left out my spiky friend pineapple i'm sorry i don't know that's specifically a summertime fruit i mean yeah i guess i guess so i guess so the face you're making at me would suggest that that was a silly thing. I mean, here's the thing, though. Easter ham. But, like, that's such an outside, that is such an outside use case. And ham's not fruit. I'm talking about fruit, Griff.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Easter ham you put pineapple on, traditionally. Oh, okay. Yeah. Hey, babe? Yeah? Did you think I thought ham was a fruit? I thought you were trying to make an argument for food at different times of the year. Okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Like, I understand understand fruit but ham we have fun on this show sometimes we say that the sun is the hot guy up in the sky that we don't understand how it works but i think is ham of fruit is maybe a little too low even for us how about this you know it's really hot this summer okay it's not but i i'm in i am conceptually into the idea of parasols conceptually speaking i am into the idea of parasols i go outside and it is rain rain rain rain rain what do i get out my big umbrella yes my big umbrella friend unless i'm wearing a you know weatherproof jacket which i will actually go for most of the time because then both my hands are free in case
Starting point is 00:09:05 i have to fend off an attacker but the umbrella is there for me when the rain comes right if it's really sunny outside yeah i don't love that unsafe for my skin like i i need something there right but it is so socially unacceptable to have parasols a lot of people would just put a hat on a lot of people would do a hat but a lot of people want their hair when it's like looking very good today want people to see it and comment on it and not only that a parasol is just like another accessory that you can have a design or whatever on i don't understand why these things aren't like super super cool yeah you know and i think men have been left out of that for a long time men would be left out because the the women typically were the ones back in the day that used to carry the
Starting point is 00:09:50 parasols yeah and it's just one of many many ways in which you guys had it easier than us i know no i like i i yeah i think even regardless of you you know, gender identity or whatever, parasols are just fucking out, man. But that bums me out because I feel like they could be something special. I feel like they could be something like really popping. I say this, but if I'm at like a music festival or something, the last thing I want to be carrying around is a small umbrella. I take it back. Strike this one from the record. Oh, all those people that just went on Amazon and bought parasols. Just try and call that back. Strike this one from the record. All those people that just went on Amazon and bought parasols.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Just try and call that back. If you can just fold it up really tiny. What about those hats that have the umbrellas on them? Now we're talking. Now that's a statement that says I'm here to make love to everybody. Well, what if you could eat the parasol when you're done with it then how would you keep it from going bad from the hot sun it's made out of meat no well then it would cook as you carried it hold on we're on to something or bread maybe oh and then become matzah meat parasol seems like a really really
Starting point is 00:11:00 really gross gross euphemism for something yes it does it sounds really really bad yes it does what do you got for number three what do you what do you got flavor ice flavor ice i could swear to god we've done this i know i thought so too i thought so too but i i searched any number of terms and it didn't come up okay well these are the uh popsicles that you got when some popsicles you got as a special occasion. Flavor ice was just always there in my family. I feel like there was always a big one in the storage freezer.
Starting point is 00:11:31 What's your favorite flavor? Jesus, blue. Blue or grape? Oh my God, the grape. Oh my God, I take it back. It's grape for sure. That grape, ooh, I could. Not green.
Starting point is 00:11:41 No, green was fine. Oh, I love that green. The grape I could make, I can stretch that out like sting. I could make that grape last for hours. I could eat a grape for hours. Did you know Flavor Ice and its West Coast companion Otter Pops, owned by the same company? I did not know that because I don't know what Otter Pops are. Otter Pops are basically Flavor Ice.
Starting point is 00:12:02 They just have cuter names. Okay, I'm into that. There's a Sean Wasabi song called Otter Pops are. Otter Pops are basically flavor ice. They just have cuter names. Okay, I'm into that. There's a Sean Wasabi song called Otter Pops. I was weirdly going to, I was thinking about bringing it. Oh, interesting. So just Otter Pops in general are very, very hot right now. Just kidding, they're cold. Why don't we see that more in advertising for popsicles and ice creams
Starting point is 00:12:23 using like the word cold in clever funny ways explain yeah garages garages this is the bedroom for your car right now yeah ours is hot and it's sticky and i'm pretty sure there's some sort of bug nest happening in it um but my car goes to sleep in there and he doesn't get all you know dirty and pooped on and hot and that's no good and a handful of times since i've lived in texas i've gone over to a buddy's house and they've just had the garage door open and we've like sat in there and you know just kicked it we had one very specific i was gonna say i think there's maybe one time that's no there's been there's been a couple. I can think of literally two, but both times I felt very, very Texas.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Yeah. And that's very cool. What else? I mean, it's just nice. It's nice to treat your car to something special. Give them their own place where they can really feel at home, feel like they can really own it, design it however they want to. And then whenever you wake up and you go into the garage, they turn back into regular cars and not like Lightning McQueen. Now, this is part of a sort
Starting point is 00:13:33 of thing I've been working on for a long time. I like it. And in this one, the cars are alive, like Toy Story, but also like cars. But when you show up they die again like in toy story but not in cars there's never a scene in cars where a human being walks into a garage and all the cars die like they do in toy story why is that you think hmm um why why they don't die why isn't there people in cars what i spent that whole movie waiting for people to show up and they never did why they don't die? Why isn't there people in cars? What? I spent that whole movie waiting for people to show up and they never did. I think that would be complicated to explain, right?
Starting point is 00:14:13 Because the car would have to react to a person entering it in some way. Well, no, unless they had to pretend like they can't let the people see them moving. Maybe that's what it was in Cars, is that they got so freaking tired of these rules that humans couldn't see the cars being alive like Lightning McQueen. They went off and formed their own.
Starting point is 00:14:33 And killed all of them. Oh. Yeah. Terminator 2. It's dark. It is, kind of. Let's turn the heat back up with this summer view. You want to know my next thing?
Starting point is 00:14:44 Hell yeah, I do. I like how people's hair gets lighter in the summertime. Isn't that fun? I do think that that's very few. I feel like it is a rare thing. It is a rare thing for only certain types of people. It is very true for kids because when you're a kid, like your hair color is so, you know, up in the air.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Yeah. Yeah. Mine just, I feel like mine now just kind of gets grayer i feel like i've lost the ability to get blonder and now it gets grayer but i'll see a buddy who just got back from vacation and they look like you know freaking james vanderbeek over here famous blonde headed man james vanderek. He was blondish, right? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Yeah, I just, I love your 90s references. James Van Der Beek was relevant in The Aunts. He was in Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23. Yeah. End of list. No, there's probably more stuff that my boy JV and... He's in some Diplo show. He's in a show with the DJ named Diplo? He's like, he's like a Diplo guy in the show,
Starting point is 00:15:48 or he's, I don't know. He's like a Diplo guy in the show. If you just Google Van Der Beek and Diplo right now, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I mean, of course, this is going to stop the whole podcast. Van Der Beek, Diplo. What's their show that they have together? Okay, yeah. They're in a show called What Would Diplo Do? And I guess this is, and I'm not going to read anymore, but I think it's a prank show that Diplo does. It's like John Quinones.
Starting point is 00:16:20 He's John Quinones, right, yeah. Except it's mostly at the club scene. And it's like, what would you do? You found the small bag of Molly on the floor. You pick it up. You try to take it. James Van Der Beek swoops in, puts a hand on your mouth at the last second. No, don't.
Starting point is 00:16:35 Why does he put a hand on your mouth? To keep the Molly from going inside. Okay. You eat Molly, right? I think so. Not sure about that one. Diplo doesn't look anything like i thought he did let's talk about outdoor hoses oh as opposed to indoor hoses i'm now realizing my critical mistake here we could just say hoses but then some people are gonna think i'm talking about
Starting point is 00:16:59 the you know tubing and cars or whatever pantyose. Or pantyhose, which I hate. Because people put them on their head to do freaking crime. And I don't like crime, and you know this. Outdoor hoses, though. What can't you do with these bad boys? I'm asking you. It's a riddle. I mean, cook, as far as I know.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Well, you pour water on the thing, and you could probably chill it and make a gazpacho so you can't wear them really as clothes uh hello did you see paris week of did you see the paris week of fashion this year hoses hoses all over the freaking place you know you're right i did not so you might be right people looked really cool wearing these big hoses uh but no you can fill up obviously pools or splash pads or talk about your your wasp adventure i had to take out a pretty fucking huge terrifying wasp nest that rachel noticed just very casually uh yesterday it was just like
Starting point is 00:18:06 looking out the window like oh hey look at that and there was one about the size of a grapefruit and there were like what i don't know 50 wasps there were like about 50 wasps on it because that's how we do them in texas and so i did have to go out there and you know me and warren g had to regulate i invited warren g over he brought the spray and then we you know they stepped they stepped to this whole new era of g funk stuff and so we had to kill every wasp there and you know hose down our mess and hose up all of the the and then cook a meal with the hose and then put on your hose and go to bed warren help me cook a gazpacho with the hose uh yeah we had to just we had to murder a whole colony of wasps and it was really terrible but the hose was there to help me as my friend so i didn't have to
Starting point is 00:18:55 you know what get a sponge out and sponge off my murder spree like no thanks fill up a water table with it if the if the house gets yucky somewhere, like don't even worry about scrubbing it. Just blast that shit. I don't like scrubbing. I just want to blast it. And drink and hose water. Hose water is the best tastiest water in the universe. I remember sometimes when I was a kid in the summer, I would just go outside and get a drink of hose water. Oh, me too. And then go back inside and keep playing Chrono Trigger. Like it was not anything. What? I went outside today.
Starting point is 00:19:27 I had hose water. I preferred it to the Squeeze-Its and whatever. That's not true. We never had Squeeze-Its. I was going to say. Oh, God. I didn't know anybody that was allowed to have Squeeze-Its. My neighbor Bryce did, which was, when I think about it, really the anchor for our friendship.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Hey, Griffin, you want to come over? What flavors you got? What do you got? You get that watermelon? What's up? Yeah, the hose. Perfect. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Perfect design. Perfect at what it does, what it needs to do, except for when you get a kink in it. Oh, and we didn't even talk about the fun of putting your thumb over it. I mean, I have to put my thumb over it. If I'm blasting away like an entire generation of wasps,
Starting point is 00:20:10 like, you know, I'm not just gonna like- I feel like I almost remember the first time that I learned about the thumb thing and I was just like, this is a game changer. I remember the first time I got one of the nozzle gun things and then I like, you know, playfully shot my brother and it like, you know, tore a my brother and it like you know tore a hole through him because i wasn't expecting that because i didn't know how water pressure worked
Starting point is 00:20:30 the hose though is fun you uh how many do you got where should we drop the break in i mean i can keep going but we can do the break now how many do you got though not as many as you all right well why don't I steal you away? Okay. Can I read you a personal message? Hell yeah. This is for Alice. It is from Emily.
Starting point is 00:20:58 Hi, Punchy. It's Schmosby. I can't begin to describe how wonderful you have made my life. Thank you for supporting me at my best and loving me at my worst. I'm so glad you are officially married to the love of your life, and I can't wait to see what the future holds. You're perfect, and I love you. Yep.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Should we have more creative nicknames for each other? Yeah, I mean, right now it's just, you know. Babe. Gooey dumps is mine. Okay. That was nice of you to jump on that grenade. Yeah, I guess I'll be gooey dumps. Here's one, and it is for Zach, and it's from Krista, who says, I'm so happy that we, two surly sarcastic jerks,
Starting point is 00:21:45 that wasn't me, Griffin, editorializing. I would never. Two surly sarcastic jerks. I got that right. I mean, shit. No, no. Can bond over something so wonderful. Keep reaching for the stars, both figuratively and occupationally. I love you
Starting point is 00:22:01 and I miss you. Finally, we get a message here that is addressing the very important work that Star Police do in our globe, our planet. Nobody ever talks about, everybody's always talking about, you know, police and firefighters and dog catchers, all these like jobs that that are doing this stuff. No one's ever talking about like,
Starting point is 00:22:28 okay, you're watching the ground. Who's making sure the stars don't get up to any good? The star police, that's who. Does Neil Grass-Typheson have anything to do with that? He wishes. Freaking nerd. Hi, I'm Dave. Hi, I'm Dave. Hi, I'm Graham.
Starting point is 00:22:49 And we're two house DJs who have been trapped inside our drum machine. We love it here. And we'd love if you stopped by and visited us every week on Stop Podcasting Yourself. Here on MaximumFun.org. We're just a couple of doofuses from canada and listen to our show or perish stop podcasting yourself on maximum fun.org hey i'm gonna go next because i think i have more than you. Okay. Elote. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:31 This is grilled Mexican street corn. It doesn't have to be street corn, I guess. I think street corn is where it sort of like popped off around these parts, around Austin. But damn, elote is so good. It's got some cheese on top. Grilled corn, usually corn or cord. Sometimes just grill a freaking telephone cord up. Yeah, it's got a lot of time. It's going to have like cojita cheese on it.
Starting point is 00:23:54 And it's going to have some sort of spicy chili pepper sprinkles. Some lime juice on there. Grill it up right. Holy shit. Had some at uh la condesa i was lucky enough to eat there it's a fucking fantastic restaurant here in austin and i had some elote there and it just like blew me away torches has good elote as well yeah um it is i've always liked corn especially on the cob i actually like corn on the cob much better than off the cob. With elote, I don't care. I will eat it any cob, cob less, however they want.
Starting point is 00:24:29 However it's served up, I'm going to have elote. It's very, very good. You want to know my next thing? Shit, yeah. Elote didn't have much of a runway. It's good. It's just cheese. It's good, tasty corn.
Starting point is 00:24:42 I mean, it's good corn. It's good corn. Carnivals. Yeah, yeah, tasty corn. I mean, it's good corn. It's good corn. Carnivals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where I grew up, there was a July 4th carnival every year. Is there a difference between a carnival and like a fair, like a county fair? I think county fair has like livestock and like competitions, you know, like who has
Starting point is 00:25:03 the best pie, who's got the best pumpkin. Okay. Carnival is just about the rides. Carnival is just like rides and prizes. Okay. Okay. I love like the energy of it. It feels very like electric, you know, like it's a bunch of teens, you know, running around
Starting point is 00:25:18 playing games and maybe smooching. Yeah. They do. They must do some of those around Austin, right? I have seen them in like Walmart parking lots before. That's not ideal for me. I know. Me neither.
Starting point is 00:25:29 That's not great for me. We had fairs and carnivals definitely in like the tri-state area that we would cruise down to. But we also had the Riverfront Regatta that we would do down at the Harris Riverfront Park, I think is what it was called. Really? Were there boats? There were boats, but there was also, you know, mostly foods, mostly bad, bad foods
Starting point is 00:25:53 that you shouldn't be eating. Yeah, they had a lot of food festivals in Huntington. They still do, and they would always have Rib Fest in that Riverfront Park, so you could look over nature's majesty while you eat you know the sides of a pig drive-ins oh rest in rip and peace rip and peace austin drive-in what was i forget what it was called we had one starlight blue starlight holy shit it was great they had really cool double uh double picture like themed nights for halloween they would like do uh double picture shows uh they did like a whole harry potter marathon once there is still one it's just far
Starting point is 00:26:31 away now yeah no thanks i like them but not that much i don't think i had ever been to one until we went in austin really you're kidding me oh god we went we went to we went to a lot of them in in i feel like there was one in ashland, Kentucky, I want to say. There used to be one down the street from me when I was growing up where it's a big grocery store plaza now. But they only showed R-rated movies, and I was a very young child, so we did not go. Yeah, that's no good.
Starting point is 00:26:58 I mean, there was a drive-in that showed movies that were in theaters. I remember I saw a few disney animated features there including i saw i definitely saw aladdin at a drive-in and i'm pretty sure it was like while it was also in theaters it was it was freaking rad it was like it was a really really great way because you know you can talk and you can you can pal around you can play your game boy whatever you can double uh double uh what's the word I'm looking for? Multitask, not double task. Double task.
Starting point is 00:27:28 What did you think I was going to say? I don't know. I was really curious where you were going. I thought you were going to mention some childhood game that I'd never heard of. Yeah, we had a- Double Dutch. Double Dutch in the Malibu. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:43 What do you got next? I feel like you're just ripping them straight off the dome sidewalk chalk oh yeah yeah yeah we haven't talked about that have we no almost certainly not i love it don't you love when you're like walking through a neighborhood and you just come across somebody's sidewalk chalk art evidence of play yeah like it like a hopscotch or a or a rainbow yeah or an outline of a child hopefully in a playful way yeah that's that's less good uh yeah i i here's where here's my dilemma oh i love seeing it for the reasons that you said like it genuinely brings me especially weirdly like more now that i'm a parent like when i see uh a kid having a
Starting point is 00:28:26 good time i my first instinct is to not like look for reasons to be annoyed by that which i think it is easier to do when you don't have a kid now that i have a kid like i love when he is happy and so i get happier when other kids are happy as well and so when i see sidewalk chalk i'm like oh that's great uh touching sidewalk chalk makes my fucking it's not just the messy hands it is the texture of it oh my god i hate it it makes those little plastic holders now you remember we saw yeah but those get so gross those get so like they are do you see what i'm i'm like i'm like wringing my hands like an old-timey like vaudeville villain or something picturing the just thinking about touching chalk i hate it hate it hate it
Starting point is 00:29:05 hate it hate it uh sometimes whenever we go over to our friend's house their their uh daughter and henry will be playing and like almost always if that is happening they will want me to draw their outlines and it's like oh god guys they're like draw each of my fingers in detail and it's like no i don't want to hold it this long i'll draw fast and loose like you're the pillsbury dough boy you should come up with a new trend for this summer 2019 okay it's called summer gloves you wear them when you're doing the messy stuff i'm into that yeah if i could wear some nice gloves they're like they look summery you know maybe they got some some suns and some clouds on them uh yeah summer stuff man they keep that those hands and clouds man keep those hands clean uh
Starting point is 00:29:53 camp yeah my only sort of like uh touchstone with this is church camp hooked up centrifuge what's up on my centrifuge people in the carolinas and i guess appalachian region i hit that up and you know do my thing does it still exist i would be surprised if it had gone away it was like a pretty big production if memory i mean it was a huge campus and like they did three different sessions it was like one of those yeah so it was not like a a little deal it seemed like a very very big deal the like whatever four or five years do you have a camp name i mean this is where shades came this is where i tried to get shades going famously i also think this is where i tried to spin andy up but it didn't take off
Starting point is 00:30:36 oh griffin andrew i know it would have been cool i could see you as an andy first time i drank coffee was at camp there's just this like uh Why was there coffee at your children's camp? You know, I guess for the adults or whatever. There was like a cafeteria area. And so one of the things that they had was. And yeah, so they had coffee there. And so I would get some of it. But then I would also plop a little bit of soft serve ice cream into it.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Because I don't give a damn. Like nobody can tell me what to do there. Wait, you would put ice cream in coffee? Yeah, sweeten it up a little bit, cool it down a little bit for my child. And I could do that because nobody gave a shit. Like I could do that. It was not a big deal. You feel like regardless of what the camp is, this is not a specifically church camp
Starting point is 00:31:19 themed celebration. I'm just saying that the feeling of freedom that you get is literally the only time out of the entire year that i would get anything resembling that because i had no other reason to leave home and not like be under the jurisdiction of my parents for an entire week it was a week yeah a long a whole week we would get in a bus and drive down to i forget where it is in north carolina but go down there. Just kick it. You and your bros? I don't actually remember if they went.
Starting point is 00:31:50 I think Travis must have. But they dipped out of the scene a little bit quicker than I did. The only overnight camp that I've ever participated in, and I didn't really realize it was unique at the time, but our elementary school, when you became a fifth grader you would spend a week out at camp wyman and you would stay in a cabin and you would learn all about the environment and so you did that in fifth grade and then when you're in high school you could be a counselor okay and i was a counselor for two years one year i was maple oh the next year i was sienna whoa hold on wait you had to have a camp name you had to have
Starting point is 00:32:27 a camp all the counselors did is it like why why though i think that's a thing with camp for a lot of people are camp names okay i'm not i'm never going to say that something isn't true on this podcast again because i'm the one who looks through our emails for submissions i was asking uh my boss's daughter just got back from camp and i was asking what was her camp name and she had one right away wow okay i can't remember what it was but she told me right away probably wasn't as cool as shades i bet how about crickets at night though they're so loud they're so loud what's the difference between a cricket and a locust like when they're making those noises or cicadas or cicadas i think a locust is a kind of cicada i tried to look this up because i also thought it was cicadas but cicadas show up every what a brood takes 17
Starting point is 00:33:14 years to come out right and so i think they are very very loud the brood this year is i want to say brood eight and it's in like west virgin Virginia's just now getting them, and I guess Pennsylvania's getting them. I don't know if Texas is, like, I don't know if they live past a year, right? Like, I don't know when they last came. I think they were in Austin in 2017. So I don't know. They're very, very loud all the time. Maybe it's cicadas.
Starting point is 00:33:42 I don't know. And now I've opened myself up to the emails. Thank you. But, you know, crickets are out there holding it down yeah for sure playing playing very nice i mean i was gonna bring up lightning bugs but i just i feel like oh god we've definitely done lightning we've definitely done them i think yeah but i did want to say yeah pool snacks what are what at your public pools sometimes there will be a concessions. Okay, yes. And I love eating in a swimsuit on like a plastic table, you know, nachos.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Yeah. A pool snack. They don't have, for whatever reason, the Austin public pools don't have like a concession set up yeah they definitely did and they all have that sign that's just like a big white sort of uh striped felt board where you stick the like black plastic letters on it like for me that is pool snack menu telling you like we have a hot dog for one dollar when i was in camp and it was a day camp um we were within walking distance to a pool and so like one day a week we would all like walk to the pool and then you would bring money with you so you could get like fun dip or whatever it was really nice one time at church
Starting point is 00:34:56 camp i did buy a whole big bag of uh those nuclear warheads they're like super sour candy and i fucked my tongue up fam i ate this whole bag in like an hour and a half and i lit like it was like i had poured acid on my tongue i couldn't i couldn't eat anything salty without it like legitimately hurting a lot for like a couple weeks after that which was a shame because you know i brought like four cans of sour cream and onion pringles that i just had to look at longingly. And I did still eat them. Pleasure and pain, baby.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Right next to each other. Was this the same summer you were putting soft serve in your coffee? No, I was but a child when I ate all the Warheads. This was a different church camp. A shorter one. I think that's it. I think that's all the good stuff this summer.
Starting point is 00:35:44 Pool snacks, hot as hell in 2019. People are talking about crickets. Like this is not, we're not bullshitting you. Hoses. Hoses are so fucking, did you see Paris Week? We're not bullshitting you. Here's some submissions from our friends at home. Oh, and can I just say, if you have one or two
Starting point is 00:36:05 hoses at home, get a third hose. What are you doing? 2019, everyone's got three hoses. You know what? Let's invent indoor hoses this year. Yeah, sure, they'll make a big mess, ruin the floorboards. Who gives a shit? Indoor sprinklers, why not? YOLO, YOLO, baby.
Starting point is 00:36:24 It's just water. You only only live once so splash a whole bunch oh gosh griffin that's incredible uh here's some submissions from our friends at home everyone sent in the fact that the thing i talked about last week is apparently due to mirror neurons what's weird is i got like uh approximately 60 emails 60 emails about this. Thank you very much. And there were a few discrepancies. There were a few people saying, Oh, it's this, Oh, it's this, Oh, it's this. Uh, but the, most of the people I've been talking about mirror neurons, which I guess are like actually a fairly recent discovery. Uh, and it's about like how your brain actively wants to, and I could be like very, very, uh, poorly representing this on the show. But from
Starting point is 00:37:04 what I understand understand based on my very cursory reading while i put this list together in about three minutes uh it's like your brain neurons like want to learn how to do stuff while you're watching stuff happen on tv and so like your reflexive movements have something to do with like that process it's like this interesting field of study that is like really really brand new is that why like sometimes when people talk to someone with an accent they like immediately have to do the accent maybe but it is it is why uh athletes actually have gained so much value of watching video of themselves doing the sport or watching yeah yeah uh so yeah that was very
Starting point is 00:37:43 interesting i'm not complaining it was i had a very interesting journey uh learning and enriching my mind kind of a little bit i guess uh here's one from carly who says my wonderful uh thing is the feeling of a whole city uniting over something that is really silly a gator was found in chicago's humboldt park lagoon and the whole city has been on gator watch a poll officially named him chance the snapper and there are official gator gator watch t-shirts i swear i haven't felt this energy uh since the cubs won the world series i saw an article about that online yeah i hope it nothing specifically that it was named chance the snapper yeah they're trying to from what i understand
Starting point is 00:38:20 they've been trying to apprehend him for two days now and it's not been going very well i guess for them how did a gator get there how did a gator get there you you tell me you tell me now did it learn how to walk on two legs put on some pants and a shirt make pretend that it was a chicagoan jump into the lake that's its new home you tell me i'm not here to tell did somebody sneak it in there in a baby carriage and it's been it goes it goes into like giordano's and ask for thin crisp pizza and everyone's like you must be that alligator you're not a person they walk up they're like i actually really like this bean and all the chicagoans are like no poser alligator charlotte says something i find wonderful is frozen grapes they are a tasty cool treat for hot summer days and even though they're just cold grapes they feel like a delicacy i've never heard of this me neither in my life let's
Starting point is 00:39:18 make that happen i'm curious i've heard of hot grapes. Yeah. And that's, you know, now you're pitching right in my strike zone. But cold grapes? I have never, I don't think I've ever had a frozen grape. I bet I'd be into it. Yeah, me too. Let's do it. Let's get some grapes, freeze them. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:36 And pretend that they're like eyeballs, like it's Halloween. Thank you to Bowen and Augustus for the use of our theme song, Money Won't Pay. You'll find a link to that in the episode description. And thanks to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. There's a bunch of really good shows on there. Oh, and also you can still go purchase for the Jumbotron drawing. Yeah. Should you like to have a message considered?
Starting point is 00:40:01 Actually, it is a drawing, so you will get a chance to purchase a Jumbotron on the show. Yeah. You can find more details about that at MaximumFun.org slash... Jumbotron drawing? Yes. Slam dunk. Also, the book,
Starting point is 00:40:19 Murder on the Rockport Limited, it came out yesterday. It's so good, you guys. I'm really so happy with it. I know it sounds weird. This process takes so long that you get kind of unplugged from it when you're one of the creators of it.
Starting point is 00:40:32 And so it goes forever and then you read it after many months of not having touched it. And it's like, oh shit, I forgot. Yeah, I'm so happy with it. And I think people are really gonna like it. You can find it at theadventurezonecomic.com. Go to your local bookstores.'s the beginning of angus it's angus origins with the what we
Starting point is 00:40:51 thought about renaming the book as angus colon origins he's he's he does he's a very good uh child good lad uh yeah so please uh think about doing that i and we just we really appreciate your support and I think that's it my pants are wet I just touched them and they're wet and I don't know why did you get a little bev on them? I don't think I spilled bev on them did not pee
Starting point is 00:41:15 I would tell you if I did is it that indoor hose we bought? oh shit we left it running this whole time spooosh Oh shit, we left it running this whole time. Spooge. Working on it. Money in all. Working on it. Money in all. Hey! Hey! Hey!
Starting point is 00:41:50 Hey! Hey! MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Hello, Internet. I'm your husband host, Travis McElroy. And I'm your wife host, Teresa McElroy. And together we present Schmanners.
Starting point is 00:42:16 It's extraordinary etiquette. For ordinary occasions. We explain the historical significance of everyday etiquette topics, then answer your questions relating to modern life. So join us weekly on MaximumFun.org or wherever podcasts are found. No RSVP required. Check out Schmanners.
Starting point is 00:42:33 Schmanners, Schmanners. Get it?

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