Wonderful! - Wonderful! Ep. 31: It's the Slap!

Episode Date: April 25, 2018

Rachel's favorite new show on Netflix! Griffin's favorite hot thing! Rachel's favorite edugame! Griffin's favorite competitive reality show! Music: "Money Won't Pay" by bo en and Augustus - https://op...en.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. What's up, Wonderful Nation? It's Griffin McElroy. And this is Wonderful. Oh, the dogs are loose. Play the dog sound effect. A dog sound effect just played. We got a note from the podcast critics board for good podcasting and funny jokes. And they said we needed more drive time radio, sort of.
Starting point is 00:00:44 So if you could give me like 30 seconds of that, please. Oh, you know what the listening audience loves? What? Boop, boop, boop, boop. Yeah, so that's good. And we got the same note from the same sort of critics association, and they're the one that gives out the podcast Oscars, so we really do need to please them,
Starting point is 00:01:03 that they love the air horn, but they need 30 full seconds of just sort of Rachel's drive time radio DJ persona, so if you could just go ahead and do it. Ladies and gentlemen, it's hump day! Wednesday with
Starting point is 00:01:20 wonderful, you know what I say about that. Pew, pew, pew, pew! So the critic is sitting in the corner of the office and they said that um what's that they said you should have made some sort of sexual joke when you said hump day oh see you were gonna insert like a um that's even that sort of talking about insertion would be noise oh okay so i can put in like a like a sex noise like a kind oh yeah yes exactly this is wonderful on this podcast we talk about things that we are very into like having your microphone turned up way too loud and there we go and uh other stuff do we
Starting point is 00:02:03 want to talk about some small wonders before we get started? Because I actually have a couple. Ooh, yeah, go ahead. My first one is a thing you said the other day that we need to sort of put into the consciousness of America. So for whatever reason, when Travis and Teresa and Bebe were in town, they stayed with us for a few days. And I think that's when you first learned about the term that the teens use sometimes to talk about music to say that either music
Starting point is 00:02:32 slaps or is a slapper. Which is a very good way of describing a good song with a fun beat you can dance to. Yeah, I was not familiar with this and Travis said it. And you were delighted and i was delighted and then you try you there was an attempt to reference it i forget what you're talking about but i want to say it was the
Starting point is 00:02:54 sesame street theme song that was playing on our uh on our alexa thing uh sorry by the way to everybody who uh i just activated your thing and it's still going. And now it's going to be like, sorry, I don't know. But I said, it's a very good song. And then Rachel said, one of the best things I've ever heard, which was, yeah, it's the slap. Not like the TV show. And since you said that, I am, this is not just like me sharing a funny story of a funny thing you said i can't stop thinking about referring to things as the slap it brings me so much joy um my second thing and this is kind of a weird one but i just announced that me and justin are leaving polygon and so i just wanted to mention like working at polygon has been really really wonderful um i was a co-founder at this site. There were like eight of us and I've
Starting point is 00:03:45 been with it since the start. And, uh, I've been doing video there for four years and it's just been really wonderful. And I love the whole community and I love everybody I work with. Um, especially the video team, like Rachel can attest to this, like pretty much every night while we're in bed, I will roll over and show her some good video that the polygon video team has made. And, uh, I'm, I'm very sentimental and it's a very bittersweet thing. I'm leaving so I can have more time to like focus on all the other things that we have and also have time where I'm not working. But yeah, it's a bittersweet thing.
Starting point is 00:04:16 And I just wanted to mention it on the show because I have adored working there. And this is a show where we talk about things we adore. Yeah, if you guys, by the way, if you guys haven't seen some of Griffin's videos, specifically Amiibo Corner, I would recommend it. It's one of my favorite. It's Rachel's favorite. My favorite series he does. You have a small wonder? Oh, you know what I can say?
Starting point is 00:04:36 Huh? Poke. Poke is good. Yeah, we haven't had it in a while. I love Poke. I got inspired to enjoy it on Terrace House Aloha State. Yes, and Musubi. They turned me on to all manner of tasty food.
Starting point is 00:04:50 It's like a hip thing now. You can find restaurants in a lot of cities and it's delicious. It's very good. It's like sushi but cereal. That's what they call poke. It's like sushi but if it was a big bowl of delicious cereal. Yeah, it's like a sushi burrito bowl. Now, if Chipotle started fucking with like oh my gosh raw salmon well are you kidding me is there any place like i feel like every other week it's like oh we got botulism in our salsa again
Starting point is 00:05:17 okay well this time no more botulism we did get e coli on our tortillas. Dang it. Can you imagine them like, and now we're going to do fatty tuna raw. Nothing against Chipotle. We eat Chipotle. I'll put something against Chipotle. They're pumping their foods with fucking E. coli. That doesn't stop us from eating it. That's true. Sometimes you got to roll the hard six.
Starting point is 00:05:39 I think it's your turn to start. It's definitely my turn this time. I don't know why you get territorial. We both go two times. We both go twice. It's not like one of us gets more stuff. So my first thing this week is Hiori's bed and breakfast. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:58 Rachel's laughing because I tried to bring this during the small winter and she said no. I cut him off. That's my first thing. There are two seasons of it now on netflix can we set up by the way how strange it is that we discovered this show because of your mom yeah this is a korean reality show yeah we got my mom to watch uh terrace house so it must have just showed up in her like recommendations yeah it probably was recommended to her and she when uh my parents were in town, mentioned it. And at first, I was like, this seems really slow, because it really is. It's just a famous couple, Hyori, who used to be a K-pop star. She was huge.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Huge, yeah. Still practices, I believe, a little bit. In 2006, she was the highest paid female singer in South Korea. Yes, very big. Like Britney Spears heyday level. Yeah. Like level of celebrity. She was a model for Calvin Klein Jeans. She was in a commercial with Jessica Alba.
Starting point is 00:06:59 That's how you know you fucking made it. She was briefly featured in a 2010 Adidas commercial. She married Sang Soon, who is a guitarist in the rock band roller coaster and they moved into their vacation home on jeju island which uh is actually it's just 714 square miles and it's a volcanic island 714 square miles yeah that fucking huge. That doesn't seem big to me. 714 square miles? Maybe I don't have a concept of size. That's very big. Okay. That's huge.
Starting point is 00:07:32 That seems small to me. No, that's quite a big island, it seems like. We should mention, we did not know who these people were before we started watching the show, which is probably evident in hearing us talk about it. So they turn their house into a bed and breakfast. And the first episode is really just them getting ready to host their first guest. And it moves kind of slowly. They have dogs and cats.
Starting point is 00:07:54 And we see them kind of purchasing things to get their house ready. They live a very simple lifestyle, a very chill lifestyle. Like they just make tea every morning and then they sit outside sangsoon i think sits outside on the porch for about nine hours a day they just sort of appreciate the simpler things and they have a bunch of pets that they have gardens they do and then they've decided like okay now let's start inviting like 8 to 12 strangers into our house every single day. It is a very novel concept that it really, really translates over. Like, we do not watch a lot of Korean television programming of any kind.
Starting point is 00:08:36 But much like, you know, sort of how we started watching Terrace House when we weren't watching a lot of Japanese television programming. Like, it crosses the divide, I think, very easily because it's so relatable and such a wild concept. Yeah, yeah. So when we started watching it, I was like, how is this going to hold my attention? And then within like 20 minutes, I was just like, totally hooked in. And it's so relaxing. If you all think Terrace House is relaxing, this show is like next level relaxing it's got good vibes it's got real good real good vibes they will do every episode once or twice an episode like a guest will be like who's this dog and they will tell them uh this dog's name is
Starting point is 00:09:19 Guana and then there will be like a three minute long video package about guana and the history of guana and some great footage of the dog playing it is just like so relaxing yeah and actually uh hiyori is is a big animal rights activist uh in south korea which explains all of their adopted pets that they have and the attention they pay to them. It's also got like a lot of interesting stuff to say about like celebrity and moving on from, from celebrity and how you like are allowed to interact with your fans after that point. Like when the show opens up,
Starting point is 00:09:56 apparently the rumor had gone around the whole Island, they had moved away. And so every time they see anybody, it's like, Oh, I thought you left. And it's like, no,
Starting point is 00:10:04 we're not leaving. We were actually turning our house into a B&B. So, yeah, so they did two seasons. There is a suggestion there might be a third. There are new episodes coming every week. There's like a little banner on Netflix saying new episodes every week. But I will say that I guess the couple has since had to post on their Facebook page that people have started showing up at their house. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Not as guests. Yes. They have had to discourage people from invading their privacy slot. With turrets and robots. I am not sure that they will do a third season. But Griffin and I watch it pretty much every night before I go to sleep. And it is just the best way to unwind. There's so many things about this show that I adore.
Starting point is 00:10:47 All of the animals are extremely cute and like, yeah, I'm really into that. The two, Hiyori and Sangsoon are the most in love. Yes. And it's very, that warms my heart very much.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Like every night, the show kind of happens almost in, not in real time, but it kind of feels like it like every episode is basically a day and so it always ends with like the two of them in whatever weird corner of the house they have allowed themselves to fall asleep in because every it's not a big house and they have so many guests it has a really large living space but the i think from what i can tell there's only one bedroom and for some reason they invite
Starting point is 00:11:25 like a dozen guests to share the space so they have created their own little alcove which is just like a mattress under the stairs like harry potter style but every night when they go to bed she like wakes up saying soon and says honey i want to talk just not in like a threatening way like if you told me like i want to talk i would i would get like very nervous because i feel like for most people that has like connotations of like uh-oh what happened but for them they they just wanted to talk just wanted to hear the first episode they're like in the car driving somewhere and they have a conversation about how much they like talking to each other oh it's so good so good and the guests are all very like uh like have disparate sort of stuff going on um and they're and they're very enjoyable but it's like watching it's it's it's interesting watching
Starting point is 00:12:12 a show because i don't uh i can't think of any other show like it where like celebrities like mondo celebrities like have bonfires with just random people and it's not like they are fawning over the celebrities the whole time. It's just like them sort of getting to live as people with other people. Yeah. And they so earnestly want to do well at it. Like, for example, there's an older couple that flies in and can't get to the Ben breakfast. And so Sang-soon hops in the car and drives 30 minutes to go pick them up because there's no bus to take them out there.
Starting point is 00:12:51 And then like books them a taxi to go fishing. Yeah, and plans their whole weekend for them. It is such a sweet, sweet show. We've been enjoying it a lot. I have two things that are kind of connected. My first thing is a campfire. Oh, really? Yeah, any old campfire.
Starting point is 00:13:10 And I know you said all really because this is not something that we do very often, right? Like, I'm not a big camping boy these days. And also never was one. I have been camping maybe four times. I'm one of those like, serious lickers. I have been camping maybe four times. I'm one of those city slickers. I have thought that about you. I'm one of them city slickers. I said, this boy has big city dreams. Big city dreams and these slickers. And a big city heart. Big city slick
Starting point is 00:13:39 heart. Yeah. But I do like a campfire. And maybe it's because of the scarcity with which I see a campfire. I say campfire. This counts, I think, for like fire pit in a backyard. I think also bonfires, but I've also been
Starting point is 00:13:58 to... Bonfires are 50-50 for me because about 50% of the time I'm like, aw, cool. Big fire. And the other 50% of the time I'm like, too big. Calm down. Chill out. We trying to catch a helicopter's attention or something? Too hot. Hot on my face. I can't even get close to this thing. The fire gets freaking hot sometimes. I have noticed that about fire. Like I see it and I don't want to touch it but anyway um i just love every part of the like campfire process like building one when i finally learned how to actually build a campfire i
Starting point is 00:14:32 definitely had many times where i was just like all right there's three big pieces of wood i'm gonna put my big glider under it like nope nope nope nope nope like actually learning to build one and then being able to successfully do it is like very rewarding. We definitely, Griffin had us save dryer lint for like, I don't know, eight months. Learned that one from bad kids. Yeah. And we never used it. No, we used it once for the fire we actually talked about in our last episode where we used the starter logs. It burned forever.
Starting point is 00:14:58 But building one is so, it's so slow, right? You have to like nurture it and you have to put in like uh tinder and kindling and then you have to like put on the small sticks leading up to the bigger sticks and then when you have this big fire you're like yeah that started out as nothing and i made that and that's very cool and i i can do it and it's like one of the few like outdoorsy uh like physical things i feel like i can do and so that is the only feather in my cap you feel like bear fucking grills whenever you can pull off a nice fire um and then once it's built you get so much out of it right you get heat you get light you can cook on it you can cook all the foods you can cook on a campfire are all fucking
Starting point is 00:15:36 great hot dogs marshmallows yeah um i guess that's it huh corn maybe corn maybe but it would just pop and turn into poppy corn, wouldn't it? A lot of people put stuff in little foil packs and throw it in there. At that point, it's just like, go drive to the gas station and use their microwave. No, don't. It's foil. It scares bugs away. That's probably not scientifically how it works.
Starting point is 00:16:04 There's probably some sort of force where the bugs are like, oh, I don't want to go near that. But I don't think they see the fire and they're like, ah, I gotta get the fuck out of here! Unless it's a moth who's backwards. What's up with that? Mosquito buzz around. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Gonna look for blood.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Oh, a fire, bye! A moth is like, sucker, I love this fire. Dies. Can I stop this for a second how do you feel about the smell the smell rachel like specifically when it gets in you oh like when you go to bed and yeah that changes absolutely nothing it's the best fucking smell in the world i don't i always kind of do it first um but i don't like it the next day. Here's the thing about that fire stink. One shower and it's gone.
Starting point is 00:16:49 There's lots of stinks that are out there that can be pleasant, and then you get them in and on and around your skin and in your ducts, and then that's your fucking week. Yeah. Onions. I have trouble with onions sometimes or garlic sometimes. When I eat the garlic bread and I love the garlic bread. And I take a shower and I smell at that point, like, you know, cucumber mint or whatever.
Starting point is 00:17:09 I just put on my body with a little bit of garlic in there. Also, I hate that. Can't fire you. Wash it off. It's gone. No big deal. But it's the best smell. Like full stop.
Starting point is 00:17:18 The sound is good, too. Yeah, the sound is very good. Oh, and the sound and the look of it. It's always changing. It's always different. Staring into a campfire is really hypnotic, partially because it's visually interesting, right? It's always changing. But I think there's something more primitive to it than that. Oh, for sure.
Starting point is 00:17:36 This preternatural fear of fire, or at least fascination or reverence to fire, I think is really fascinating and very powerful. And it's communal in a way that many things are not, right? We could have friends over and watch TV or play a game, and then we are actively engaging in that thing. But with a fire, a fire demands your attention without consuming it, right? Oh, yeah. So at that point, if it's in the middle of a circle of people, everybody's looking inward and can't look away because of the fire.
Starting point is 00:18:06 But who's on the other end of the fire? It's me, and I'm telling a very haunted story. I know that you didn't do Boy Scouts, but did you ever do any kind of like group camping scary story kind of thing? I mean church camp, but then the scary story is that your friend was going to die in a car wreck and you didn't get him saved. Oh, no. Which is way worse than getting killed by Freddy Krueger. Freddy Kruedy krueger kills me in my dreams pop i'm just up in heaven my friend bryce crashes his bicycle into the creek and i didn't spread the good word yeah do you know what i mean i do i got something for you to read later okay i think you're really gonna like it and then when
Starting point is 00:18:42 you put out the fire that's fun too because you because you get all the steam and the dying embers. You don't pee on a fire, do you? You would never. You wouldn't steal a car. Why would you pee on a fire? Some people do that to put it out, and I don't like it. Oh, so crass. I just love how universal a fire is.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Campfire transcends time. it transcends language and culture like i the first bond like campfires were being made like 1.3 million years ago and those people definitely needed it more than i need it because i have game boy um second game boy i have a central air an equivalency between a game boy and a fire I have Game Boy, second Game Boy. I have Central Air. There's an equivalency between a Game Boy and a Fire, as if a Game Boy could keep you warm? No, but it would entertain me. That's what I'm saying. They needed that shit.
Starting point is 00:19:35 For the entertainment. But they needed it to cook their food and probably boil their water so they didn't die when they were adults of 12 years old. And you need the Game Boy. I mean, I gotta have my game boy but even though they need it more than i needed it we still get the same stuff out of it and that's very cool 1.3 million years ago is a very long time ago and i have very little in common with them i have very little in common with homo erectus um except for pretty much this and a lot of the times they tried to grow a beard according to what i saw in museums and it looked shitty and i'm kind of in the same
Starting point is 00:20:12 boat there too um i just think it's fascinating to think back to like the dawn of man and me doing the same shit um and also with dryer lint though not with dryer lint well you don't know you don't know what they had back then there may have been some sort of dryer lint plant that went extinct but I also love you know just getting around a fire with some friends and being around this like
Starting point is 00:20:35 pretty cool sounding good smelling thing for me that's one of the only reasons to go camping it's maybe the only reason to go camping hey can I sell you away? Come sell you away. Come sell you away. Come sell you away with me. Is that whale noises?
Starting point is 00:21:05 Sure. We just did like a musical there. Yeah. Can we keep it going? No, not at all. I want to tell you about MeUndies. Do you know about them? You're going to love this.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Do you know how you wear pants? Yes. What if you had littler pants that go underneath oh yeah so double pants and you know how you wear your pants and you go for like a run or a walk or you bend over and there's so much rubbing against all of your weak points yeah uh-huh you got to get some smaller pants to go in under that would these small pants be uncomfortable? A hundred percent of the time, yes. Except for, oh, wait a minute. This message is for Tyler Jameson.
Starting point is 00:21:53 It is from Jackie McCook. Congratulations on becoming the world's cutest certified advanced wheel builder slash bike mechanic. You are amazing. And I hope you know how proud I am of you. I love how you show your love by giving people bike parts. I love you and think we should be together for a bit. From Jackie and your cat, whose name I'm too embarrassed to put,
Starting point is 00:22:17 but you know who. Oh, we are going to spend the next 20 minutes trying to figure out what this cat's name is. Pootsis. Guy Fieri. Guy Fier... Furry. Guy Furry, that's nice.
Starting point is 00:22:32 Guy Furry is good, but you have to say it, like, really weird. Like, you have to really... In order to get the pun across of who you're doing, you really need... Guy Furry. Cat Stevens. The best. Not embarrassing. It's gotta be like
Starting point is 00:22:48 Mr. Pussy Willow. What? I can say Pussy Willow. Okay. Can I say Pussy Willow? Not three times. Not three times. Can I read this next message?
Starting point is 00:23:01 Sure you can. This message is for Kaylee. It is from past Kaylee. Hey, buddy, I'm sure someday someone will buy you a Jumbotron instead of buying one for yourself. Until then, just remember I love you. You love yourself. And if you keep doing that, everything will be wonderful. See what you did there?
Starting point is 00:23:20 You're so smart. This is great. This is coming in at the beginning of the third act of the movie about this you set this up this was chekhov's gun and you're like what a funny thing to do and then some shit goes bad in the second act and then you find the hero's strength in this message from yourself for act three and then credits. That sounds threatening, though, doesn't it? Yeah, I don't think Kaylee has necessarily that kind of arc. Yeah. Well, nobody does.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Welcome, everyone, to the live wrestling spectacular in Los Angeles. So far, the world's most boring wrestling podcast has been destroying the competition. Isn't there anyone who can save us from this travesty? Wait, could it be? It's Titan Fights, the perfect wrestling podcast. Titan Fights is here to save us from the monotony of boring wrestling podcasts with hilarious conversations. Woke trips through the history of wrestling. And joke about the finer points of people wearing spandex
Starting point is 00:24:26 what a match and the tights and fights podcast will be back every week thursdays on maximumfun.org or wherever you get podcasts please these hosts have families tights and fights podcast tights and fights Please, these hosts have families. Guys and Bites. Podcast. Guys and Bites. You want to hear my second thing?
Starting point is 00:24:53 I want to hear it so bad, I think I could shit. What? I'm very excited to hear your second thing. Griffin, I have four words for you. Eat my shorts, bud. You think that's the wonderful thing I'm bringing this week? Ass, gas, grass, bud. No.
Starting point is 00:25:16 You don't please stop guessing. Where's the beef, dude? Mavis Be beacon teaches typing the game begins oh my god it is fucking on yes this came to me last night yes yes she's doing it this came to me me last night while I was laying in bed. And I thought, please, Rachel, don't forget this. Please, Rachel, don't forget this when you wake up in the morning. And you didn't write it down?
Starting point is 00:25:53 I didn't write it down. Baby, Elizabeth Gilbert would be very disappointed in you. You've got to write that shit down. You've got to take the idea seriously or else it's going to go to somebody else. That's the big magic dog. No, I know. Big Magic Dog is her next book. Mavis Beacon teaches typing was developed.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Broderbund? You know, I think it ended up with Broderbund at one point, but it was developed in 1987. So was I. That's true. I was in development hell. I was I. It's true. I was in development hell. I got caught up there, but they got me out the door. Here's something.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Okay, there's a lot that's interesting about this. But first, I'm going to say something that shocked me. It may or may not shock you. And I'm going to need you to pay complete attention. I am. I just had to make sure it was Baroda Bund, and it was. What a good name for a game company. Go on.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Mavis Beacon is not a real person. You were laughing? Yes, I am laughing. She was played by multiple people throughout the series. I know, but I thought it was based on historical. Computer typist. A lot of people have thought this. So much so that the software company has gotten requests to interview her and have appearances
Starting point is 00:27:15 from Mavis herself. Okay, in your defense and everybody else's defense, it's pretty wild to invent a typing character. Yes, so this is what's interesting. Yes. So the company that made this,
Starting point is 00:27:33 the designers also made the Chess Master game. Yes. Which starred a chess wizard. Right. So they were big on this personification thing of let's put an actual figure attached to this so it's not just like your everyday game apparently with the chess wizard game or chess master 2000 rather uh they paid ten thousand dollars for the photo shoot
Starting point is 00:28:00 to get this guy that became the chess master wizard guy can i please take a moment to google this this dude yeah sure this fucking guy and his pixelated version he looks like um who's the guy who played the dude in the big lebowski oh jeff bridges jeff bridges this jeff bridges ask look Jeff Bridges-esque look. Like, this is so good. And he's peering over, like, a hologram chess set, and he looks like if my dad got struck by lightning and had sort of a different life path he went down. Okay, sorry. So Mavis Beacon was named for Mavis Staples, who was one of the developer's favorite singers.
Starting point is 00:28:49 And should be everybody's. And the word beacon, which is an allusion to her role as the typing guide. I did not know she was named after Mavis Staples. Yeah. That's very interesting. So the original model, they discovered working behind the perfume counter at Saks Fifth Avenue. Uh,
Starting point is 00:29:07 and so they paid this woman $500. Oh, you mean not the $10,000 that you paid fucking fake Jeff Bridges to be the chess master 2000. You mean you only did 5% what you, okay, cool. No,
Starting point is 00:29:20 that seems great. Uh, and they gave her a new suit, which was probably worth $9,500. Now that seems great. And they gave her a new suit, which was probably worth $9,500. And they did the photo shoot with her to represent a modern professional typing instructor. I learned with this. Did you learn with this? Well, yes.
Starting point is 00:29:39 That was my first introduction. My parents bought it for me. And then I took a keyboarding class in high school. Okay. It was kind of my first introduction. My parents bought it for me. And then I took a keyboarding class in high school. Okay. That was kind of my final stamp. Are they still doing keyboarding? Because I took it in middle school, and I definitely did, like, three years of Mavis Beacon. But, like, these days, who's teaching kids to type?
Starting point is 00:29:57 I hope it still happens, because honestly, like, having dedicated time to practice is not something I think a lot of people do. And it really, like, made a huge difference for me. It's the most it's the thing I do more than anything else, literally all day every day. Yeah, no, I mean, that's that's part of the reason I brought it like, it was a fun way to learn typing. But was it a thing there were just during a decade during the 90s? It was like, Oh, shit shit, we gotta teach kids how to use these fucking things. Well, so as of 98, she had instructed 6 million school children. And it is still the best-selling instructional typing software. Well, compared to what? Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Mario teaches typing? Typing of the dead? Yeah, so I don't know if it's still an active thing, but I think it's really important. And I think, like, Mavis Beacon is such a, like, I don't know, it's such a good touchdown for me. I'm looking at the Broderbund website. I can't say it. Have you gotten a chance to say it yet, Broderbund? In my life or on this podcast? On this podcast. it's so good it
Starting point is 00:31:06 just dribbles from the tongue i love it i look at the website there's three versions here mavis beacon teaches typing powered by ultra key v2 family edition okay mavis beacon teaches typing powered by ultra key 2v2 personal edition so that's if you don't want your kids to know how to type and then there's mavis beacon keyboarding kids with a z i don't like that i don't want your kids to know how to type. And then there's Mavis Beacon keyboarding kids with a Z. I don't like that. I don't like that there's a kids-only version. We're all typing on the same keyboard. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:31:31 Well, the words are probably, like, simpler. Apple, yeah. Yeah. Yeet. Things that the kids are using. The slap. This is such a... You have taken me on a fucking journey,
Starting point is 00:31:42 because I feel like I reference Mavis Beacon in the same thing as, like, Math number crunchers and mystical island oregon trail uh oregon trail mysterious island of the zoom beanies i think all of these like i don't know that one all of these like edgy games right and i talk about them as if they are a novelty right i think in mavis beacon's case that's unfair because i learned to fucking type playing these games yeah what's your wpm what can you get up to you know what i thought you might ask this oh i did it today oh shit i did a typing test today that was a minute long what'd you get or should i do mine real quick and then yours is gonna be much faster griffin why because you do all the internet stuff. I made a mistake.
Starting point is 00:32:27 This is really good audio. I got 104. Really? Yeah. What are you at? I don't want to say. No, what are you at? What did you get? What did you get? Baby, can I tell you? What did you get? 61. What did you get? What did you get? Baby, can I tell you? What did you get? 61. I didn't think yours would be that high.
Starting point is 00:32:51 I didn't get any mistakes, though, when I did it. That's what it is. I got 104, but I made two mistakes. My accuracy was 97.16%. So really, a 61, I feel like, what's the average? I think they said it was like 50 or something 40 40 words per minute okay i didn't know mine was that good i thought mine was not very good really intense okay sorry um so thank you and you know why mavis mavis mavis mavis you've just taken me on a trip all i want to talk about is mavis beacon um but i do want to talk about my
Starting point is 00:33:23 second thing please survivor yes this is one of those things where i swear to god i've talked about this before on this show okay but i don't think we've done a full segment i don't think so um we are currently watching a current season which is survivor ghost island ghost island where when they lose they kill them and then their ghost has to compete their ghost has to compete. Their ghost has to compete. So there's a million dollars for the living human winner. And then a million ghost coins. What's great is that the ghosts don't eat the rice.
Starting point is 00:33:54 So there's more food. That's true. But the players eat the ghosts. So it's kind of a reverse Pac-Man situation. Okay, Survivor. I'm going to make this quick. Because I think there's a lot of people who just turned it off because i feel like nobody really watches survivor anymore but everybody has gotten very good and let me tell you why same premise is the same every episode there are a couple challenges usually one for like a reward
Starting point is 00:34:20 which makes like uh life a little bit easier for the 16 contestants who get dropped off on this island with very few supplies. So a meal or a fishing kit or a hammock or something like that. And then there's an immunity challenge, and if your tribe wins that, then you don't have to kick somebody off that week. The other tribe does. And then at some point, there's a merge where all the remaining players come together,
Starting point is 00:34:40 and then at that point, you're just voting for individuals. How many weeks is it if you last the whole time? It's 39 days, I want to say. 39 days total. Every three days, there's a tribal council. Whoever wins the immunity challenge gets the necklace, and then they can't be voted for, basically. And then they go to a tribal council at the end, where a majority vote will kick off one player. That was like the starting formula, right?
Starting point is 00:35:02 Yeah. And then it gets down to two or three players who are the finalists, and then they have to stand in front of a jury made up of like the last eight people to be kicked off and plead their case for why they deserve the million dollars, and then the jury votes on who they give it to. So there's like a power reversal there where now all of a sudden you have to like, you know, lower yourself before the people that you screwed over so that they will give you a million dollars. And that's a very fascinating twist the thing that got this game very interesting if you
Starting point is 00:35:27 watched it back in what fucking 2001 or so uh is the addition of hidden immunity idols and those are usually hidden all around the island wherever the the game is taking place or sometimes like under a bench like hiding in plain sight like during an immunity challenge those are very good a player has to like walk right up to somebody and bend that down and pick up the immunity idol that was hidden at their feet and those you can play on anybody uh during the uh during the tribal council after everybody's placed their votes and then any votes for them will not count so they're it's very tough to play one of these correctly because you have to know who everybody's voting for you have to know who to play it on um they are very uh strategically powerful and so they're kind of hard to come by
Starting point is 00:36:14 so having one gives you a big advantage in the game and it adds like a level of uncertainty to the game that didn't exist before right before it could just be like well there's six of us and three of them so let's vote them off well and people use them a lot as currency because like trust is such a big part of this game and so people will try and curry favor in their alliance by saying hey i'm gonna tell you and i haven't told anybody else but i have an immunity idol which don't fucking do that it never makes sense it has never worked out ever um there's a lot of other stuff that can can not a lot like usually every season there's like one gimmick for instance this season it's ghost island where they kill you um no they send you to like an island if you lose a challenge they send you to an island by yourself and then there's a chance
Starting point is 00:36:58 that you can play a game uh to get like some sort of advantage but if you lose the game you lose your vote for that episode which which is an interesting twist, this idea of just straight-up gambling to try to get an advantage in the game and knowing when is the right time to do it and when is the wrong time to do it. It's interesting. Also, this is the most fan-service-y season ever
Starting point is 00:37:17 because the Ghost Island thing is everybody who's played this game has made mistakes, and so these artifacts are like past hidden immunity idols and fake hidden immunity idols that people have used to try to pass off that are now real because of the spirits of the island. This idol is from this contestant in season four who went home with it in his pocket and it's cursed.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Now it's cursed and you can break the curse by, and so that's like this season's gimmick. But really the core of the game is form alliances with other players so that you can be the majority vote at the end win challenges right get rewards and get immunity for yourself and for your team find hidden immunity idols so that you have secret advantages that nobody else knows about and then know what the fuck everybody else is going to do or at at least try to, and know who to trust and know when to make the correct moves.
Starting point is 00:38:07 It is a very simple game. Every episode plays out essentially with the same format. There's a couple challenges, maybe a shakeup of who's in what tribe, and then the tribal council. And yet, every episode also plays out a little bit differently because of this human element. And it's one of those shows that I feel like never gets boring. Rachel and I have watched every season because there is no one set path to victory. There have been people who have won the show because they were challenge beasts and just
Starting point is 00:38:42 won every immunity necklace and were never in danger of going home somehow made it through like the final three and and then everybody voted for them because they're like they were just fucking great at challenges then there were people who were so deceitful and played nasty nasty games and then they made it to the jury uh and everybody thought like well nobody's gonna vote for them they were shitty and then the jury says like yeah they were shitty and they were really good at it. Here's a million dollars. Or there's people who are really nice. And then they make it to the finals. And they're like, yeah, they didn't make any big moves, but they were really nice. So here's a million dollars.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Well, and what's become interesting about the later seasons is that there's so many contestants that have an awareness of previous seasons. And so you watch them kind of get in their own heads and be like, this is my time to make a big move. So when I get to the end, the jury will recognize how much I played this game. fucking club bangers because everybody there knows what's up and every episode is like blind sides and big moves but but that idea of everybody in the game knows about the game because of what has happened in past games reflects a very big like competitive video game idea of the meta which basically just means like well what is the community what is the community by virtue of how they play a game decided is the best and strongest, you know, strategy or Hearthstone deck or like League of Legends character.
Starting point is 00:40:11 The idea of the meta being like how the community has decided through play is the best and strongest thing. This is the only game I know of where that exists in this reality show game because people play it following these archetypes that have worked in the past. And maybe they don't work this time and they almost never do because everything is always different because you have 16 new people with new personalities and new things that will make them trust other people that you that you don't know about when you go into the season um it it the game itself is a great idea right it is It is a game, for television especially, it's a game about consolidating power and then about trying to dismantle these power structures before they become too powerful and then just, you know, rampage through the whole season. And things like the Hidden Immunity Idols give you sort of stones in your sling that you can use to slay the giants.
Starting point is 00:41:02 And so, like, that's entertaining to watch. Like, seeing a big reversal happen every couple episodes, which it almost always does on a good season. It's like really, really good. But this human element of like not knowing who's going to win, because literally everybody, like anybody could win.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Anybody has won. The list of winners is not just like big, strong person, big, strong person, big, strong. And because of that, I think that like I watch the show and I think, yeah, I could fucking win that.
Starting point is 00:41:31 And I'm not like that with anything else. Now, I couldn't because I have to sleep with four pillows every night. And you have a very sensitive stomach. Very sensitive belly. I try not to get like too kathy on it but like if i do not have coffee in the morning it's not like a fun mcdonald's commercial where it's like don't talk to me till i've had my joe um i would literally i would literally start hurting all over my bones um but it's still inspiring to see like all of these different types of people win a million
Starting point is 00:42:04 dollars at this game. And you don't get that from most other reality shows like Amazing Race. Usually it's like two, you know, very fit people who are, you know, I'm a professional cross country runners. And it's like, oh, well, fucking duh. Like, of course you won. But like people surprise you on this show and win. And it's just it is it is pound for pound like i think the most entertaining competitive reality show because you you don't really know
Starting point is 00:42:28 what to expect and it is it is built around just constant turnabouts of of people taking power away from other people as they try to build their their their alliances and everything i just love it so much it's very entertaining what's the the best Survivor play you've ever seen? The season's had some fucking good ones. I mean, Boston Rob is a popular choice. Yeah, but then his season where he won was just like, let's give Boston Rob a season. And it was kind of boring.
Starting point is 00:42:58 Anytime where they play two idols in one thing, like Parvati playing the two idols idols to protect not even her she had two hidden immunity idols she played them on two people in her alliance but not herself yeah and it ended up blocking like all of the votes from the other team and she took their shit apart uh that was a very very good one the one where the alliance of all women convinced the man to give away his immunity idol that he had actually won at the challenge to prove his loyalty to them. So she, they would take them like on their,
Starting point is 00:43:31 on their, on their Alliance. And then they fucking literally took the necklace off his neck, walked into the voting booth and then kicked him out. Like, Oh, that's so good. Sandra is a good one too.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Sandra is very, very good at the game. Siri is very good. Yeah. I'm not like this. I can't tell you contestants from past seasons of top chef i can name 20 survivor contestants because it's so good at building characters because it's all about underdogs and you know people to people
Starting point is 00:43:56 to root for um anyway that's survivor nobody's listening anymore nobody cares about survivor anymore we had talked about doing it. What if we did a Survivor podcast instead, but then we decided there would be eight people who would listen to it? We're not asking to change. Please, God, do not ask us to do a Survivor podcast. If I quit Polygon and then the following week said, and here's why, I'm doing a Survivor podcast,
Starting point is 00:44:22 I think that people would come and uh leave me mean comments do you want some submissions yes austin says i've read calvin and hobbes since i was in the second or third grade and it's been one of the most enduring sources of happiness and joy for me the combination of calvin's vivid imagination and alter egos with stories about not fitting in at school and the genuinely wholesome uh relationship with his stuffed tiger makes it my favorite comic series of all time and i love it when he pees on those car logos too do you much calvin hobbs you know i did but not enough like i read it when it was in the paper um but i've never owned like a book of calvin and hobbs i oh my god we used to own we owned all of them i would very much like
Starting point is 00:45:03 to get back into it what was there's one called like scientific progress goes boink like i could we had a lot of them and they lived next to our toilet is that weird and probably did you have toilet books no don't be it's not gross we had all calvin and hobbes we had some far side by the toilet we had some um deep thoughts you remember that deep thoughts yes You remember that? Deep thoughts. Yes. And then Uncle John's bathroom reader. I'm so glad. Baskets. Big baskets full of toilet bags.
Starting point is 00:45:32 Is this gross? Baby, this was a staple of my life and I'm just now thinking about it. I mean, one, germs. It probably splashed down. One, a lot of germs. Two, it suggests that this person is spending a lot of time in the bathroom. I know. I've met you before.
Starting point is 00:45:55 But it prolongs it almost. It suggests, like, I'm not here to get in and get out. I'm here to just relax. Yeah, what's wrong with that? Thumbs down. Austin, I'm sorry that your topic turned into this. I love Calvin and Hobbes. Thumbs here to just relax. Yeah, what's wrong with that? Thumbs down. Austin, I'm sorry that your topic turned into this. Yeah, I love Calvin and Hobbes. Thumbs down to bathroom reading.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Wrong. Macy says, I love listening to you guys talk about good things for an hour every week. My good thing right now is rearranging book shelves. I've been doing it a lot recently between my church and my own shelves, and there's something really nice and tactile about pushing books around on a shelf to make room for more books. I actually like this, too. Yeah. What's not to like? Rearranging your stuff? I would always,
Starting point is 00:46:30 if you go to the library and you see people reshelving, I would always think like, oh, that's got to be a satisfying gig. You ever walk up to them like, lucky. No, I recognize it's probably not as exciting as it appears. You decorated at our old house the books. You arranged them in order of color, and I thought that was so wonderful. Yeah, I mean, just in our living space. I didn't do that with every single book we own, but I thought it would be a nice touch for our living room.
Starting point is 00:46:56 A few people sent this one in. This is from Mobster Seeker who says, Safari Live, daily Safari live streams. Twice a day, they stream safaris from South Africa and answer questions about them live. Have we talked about this before? No. We talked about some similar sort of zoological live stream thing. The crazy stuff happens there constantly.
Starting point is 00:47:15 The drama is real. It's sort of like Game of Thrones, but better, because most of the main characters are leopards. Game of Thrones would be much better if they were all leopards. Yeah, I'd watch that show. Game of Bones, much better if they were all leopards Yeah, I'd watch that show Game of Game of Bones? Because they eat the animals? Sorry, Zebra You're all bones now
Starting point is 00:47:34 Oh, I love the way you said that Which part? Zebra I was trying to say Debra Can you tell people where they can submit if they want to send us things? Yes, I would love to do that. Go ahead and shoot us an email at wonderfulpodcast at gmail.com. And that's going to get right to us.
Starting point is 00:47:52 We're going to read it all. Keep it kind of short. We like to read like one or two sentence submissions. We love reading your wonderful thoughts. But if you keep it a little bit shorter, good chance to line up on the show. And hey, thanks to Bowen and Augustus for the use for our theme song, Money Won't Pay. There's a link to that in the episode description.
Starting point is 00:48:09 And thank you to Maximum Fun for having us. Oh, Max Fun. It's a wonderful network full of wonderful podcasts, like our podcast, Wonderful. Wow. Yeah, these podcasts kick ass. You know what my favorite is? Ours.
Starting point is 00:48:24 I will recommend this week. I'll recommend Judge John Hodgman. You know, so you may be familiar with Jesse Thorne and you may be familiar with John Hodgman. But I will say when they get together to decide real life disputes, it is very charming. Peanut butter and bow ties. Yes. It is a wonderful listen. I recommend it.
Starting point is 00:48:51 Yeah, it's very fun. And if you want to hear more stuff from our fam, you can go to mackleryshows.com. Is that it? That's it. Good. What if I just turn off all the lights and we sit here in complete silence?
Starting point is 00:49:04 Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Sorry. It's so silent in here. Yeah, it's a big skeleton. Let me try again. Just make sure.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Nope. Yeah, they're still there. No way. No way. No way. Thank you. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Do you love books?
Starting point is 00:50:02 Want to get more out of all that reading you do? I'm Bria Grant. And I'm Mallory O'Meara. Join us every Thursday on Reading Glasses Listener supported. Learn how to read better.

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