Yannis Pappas Hour - America is a Going out of Business Sale

Episode Date: November 6, 2021

Grab your own little piece of whatever is left, everything must go! NFTS are great for artists for now but it’s just speculative for people who pour money into it, it is not an investment. A real investment is putting money into a business that provides a service or good that generates money itself and that ain’t it. The internet is NOT a real place. Also, we must legalize crime to feed our true crime thirst. Yanni also has a little fun with QAnon’s latest conspiracy and their meet-up group. The Supreme Court looks like it will be striking down Texas’ de facto abortion ban and the deciding votes and decisions seem to be coming from unlikely justices. War makes for strange bed fellows, my friends. Also, more! This is long days and you know was da deal is! Bonus ep every week. Join! Weekly https://Patreon.com/yanniLongDaysSponsors: Manly Bands https://manlybands.com/?utm_content=longdays&utm_source=veritone&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=july&utm_campaign=mens-wedding-ringManscapedhttps://www.manscaped.comThe show goes out every Saturday night to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram on Wednesdays. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappasWebsite - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello fellow citizens and global guests from around the world via America's greatest invention for innovation and destruction. It was the best of times, the worst of times. There is no more Dickinson type of invention than the internet. Okay, Tale of Two Cities, get smarter. This is long days. What do we got going on? Well, I'll tell you.

Alec Baldwin's not responsible for what he did, but there's some dame who loads the guns who's a little irresponsible. More on that as we go carol gaskins from tiger king is suing netflix because they used some footage from the first documentary in the second one where they're kind of nailing her i believe she killed her husband we all know it her husband is in a dead tiger's belly but who cares we're over it on to the next next. Hats off to Carol Gaskins. The bitch makes money off of Captured Tigers. I can't knock the hustle. It's more real than what a TikToker does. What else is going on? Kim Kardashian is getting dicked down by Pete Davidson,

or as I like to call his dick, the palate cleanser. Pete Davidson's dick needs to be in a museum when it's all said and done or at least one of those Guinness Book of World Records tourist stores what else is going on it's the metaverse Facebook is gonna force us all into a digital fucking dystopia where all we own is NFTs and fake emotions none of it is fucking real Kyle rittenhouse is on trial for murdering three protesters i think i stand with the entire population of this country when we say i don't give a fuck whether he's guilty or not i don't want to think about last summer it was a fucking nightmare just put it to bed Lock them up or don't.

Who gives a fuck? The Supreme Court has released some skeptical sayings on their hearing about upholding Texas' strict abortion law. What a surprise. Maybe the Supreme Court is above politics. More of that to come up at the hour. What else is going on? You, Yahoo and YouHoo have left China following in a couple of other tech companies' footsteps because of bad working conditions.

Come on, suck it up, Yahoo. So what? China doesn't want a nap room. So they don't have a feelings hour. So they don't arrest triggerers. You can get on the assembly line and eat food through a tube in your asshole. And if you make a mistake, get pushed off a building like the rest of us. Because that country's in charge.

This podcast is brought to you by the PLA and the CCP and BGI. And I salute you, Czar King Z. and BGI and I salute you, Czar King Z. Zalias! something up now here comes a great kid you know you can trust from the truth to the news and cameras to the fake politics and the propaganda get his kids screwed in got a lot to say oh shit it's about to be a long day it's a long day it's a long day what a week what a week every week you go to the news and you say what's going on in Old Glory? And Old Glory never disappoints. Old Glory is

the real housewives. We are the real housewives of a country. We are never devoid or lacking drama and fun. And that is the way to enjoy it, through the filter of fun. Because the key to happiness is acceptance. Okay, if you want to die peacefully, okay, when ISIS is holding the blade to your neck, you don't fight it, you accept it. Acceptance comes over you. I'm not the only one who's dug into the deep corners of the internet late at night where I'm trying to sleep, but I can't. And I say, hmm, let me see if I can find some good true crime 911 phone calls or some great sleep enhancing ISIS beheading videos. Am I the only one who does that to help me sleep? I think it's better than the wake app. I do it all the

time. After I watch about four or five beheading videos, I get really sleepy and sleep like a baby. So don't let people tell you any different. A calm comes over you. Acceptance. There's no escape. You're in the clutches of a terrorist organization that is using your hedge your head for political collateral there's nothing you can do the last thing you're gonna hear is Ali Akbar and then you're out of here baby no more pain you get 72 virgins because I think that's somewhere in the Quran I haven't read it nobody Nobody has. So you accept. You accept that America is the tragedy that it is. And then it becomes fun.

There's no more stress. Okay? Your most famous celebrities are peddling bullshit. Your most favorite entertainers are all fucking shit. Everyone's lying and everyone's trying to grab the last bit of the empire they can. For a lot of people right now, that is digital NFTs, baby. Let's talk about them. I am sick of pretending like I'm behind the curve on this because I'm not budging one bit. I am a boomer and I'm going to stay a boomer on this. There's no such thing as a valuable NFT because NFTs aren't real because the internet's not real. You're not in a real place.

Whatever you're building, these kids, they're building these, there's an app called Another Life or some shit where they're asking their kids, I learned this on Halloween from other parents, that they're asking their parents for real money so they can buy fake sneakers to put on their fake avatar and they cost real money? I mean, talk about a hustle I can't knock, but I will make fun of, okay?

You are convincing children to take their real money and buy fake shoes for a cartoon version of himself that lives in an electronic fucking matrix universe but i'm a boomer none of it is real i don't care if you have an nft that's worth three billion dollars that goes on your profile or in your fake condominium on Yahoo. It's all fake. It doesn't exist. It's fake outrage, fake feelings, fake security, a fake house, a fake picture, fake, fucking fake. It's all not real. Wake up, unplug the fucking matrix plug out of your head, go outside and look at the clouds. And if you can't enjoy a tree, you are already dead on arrival.

You're an American corpse with rubber under your feet, walking around like a goddamn lost child at a state park who will be murdered by the ghost of Brian Laundrie. Who's not dead. He's not dead. You knew that was going to spark some good conspiracies. In fact, I think the, I think we need to murder more people just to feed our true crime thirst. True crime right now is the number one genre for entertainment. So we need crime. So there has to be some people who get employed as murderers and receive some sort of stipend like if you

got cancer if you got some terminal illness the government to create jobs and redistribute some of this uh mess this quagmire we've gotten ourselves into with this pandemic uh people don't want to go back to work some people don't want to get the vaccine. Some people, whatever. Everything's out of whack right now, okay? Or somebody gets COVID and it shuts down your goddamn office. We're just out of whack right now. What we need to do is employ some people to murder people so then we can have more true crime content. Because right now we're running out.

And I know because I was up late night Googling terrifying 911 phone calls and I ran out. I watched them all. So we need some more. So it's just like poverty. I want to say, AOC, you want to solve poverty? Well, then there goes the NBA. There goes the NFL. There goes a bunch of things that you can only, to get to that level, only the hunger of poverty can motivate you to. All right? It ain't going to, it's not going to affect the comedian market, okay? Because we are all just like mentally ill like the mentally ill black sheep child of a middle-class family who doesn't want to get a job. But it will affect sports. Do you like baseball AOC? Do you like football AOC? Well, do you think Derrick Henry grew up in Beverly Hills?

And you think if he did, he would be making the fantastic runs that he does now, just pushing strong-arming 400-pound men out of the way while fat fucking circle Americans sit with Cheez-Its on their stomach. I can't believe what I'm watching. I can't believe what I'm watching. You think LeBron James would have ended up being LeBron James would have ended up being LeBron James if he wasn't made by the United States government

in a petri dish you didn't see that one coming no sound because my brother keeps calling Jesus fucking Christ and it's always my brother you just can't you can't you can't, you know,

it's just, you can't have a moment of peace when you have a special needs brother who wants to call you 10 times a day. And I don't know how to shut the phone off. I don't know how to put do not disturb on. So we're just live again. NFTs are not real. I don't care.

I am certain now that we are headed for an unprecedented crash. We will look back on this and say right before the crash, things were still so good after the pandemic that people were speculating. If one more person calls it an investment, I'm going to break all these cameras and I'm going to shoot myself in the dick and burn myself alive like a goddamn monk

to make my point. An investment is something that can give you profit, can give you actual return, that can actually grow based on a self-sustaining surface that it's providing. A self-sustaining service it's providing. If I invest in a company and that company grows because of the service they're providing, I have invested.

If I have dinner with a Indian immigrant and he says he's got a sweet motel off of some highway in Pennsylvania that he wants to buy and he wants me to invest, I will give him the money. It's an investment because people are going to fuck in that hotel and truckers are going to kill those prostitutes in that hotel, but they're going to pay for the room. It's a real service. That's called an investment. There's something real happening. You want to invest in my patreon patreon.com slash yanni long days guess what

you get a bonus episode every week for only five dollars that's a buck and a quarter a week what the fuck is wrong with you for this prime five star zaget reviewed comedy you won't pay a buck and a quarter a week to get an extra episode after I provide you this episode brought to you by three sponsors coming soon. That is an investment. You're getting comedy in return. You're not going to buy my comedy and then sell it to somebody else later after I say five what's the deal is and increase my value. It is not an investment it is speculation there's a difference between speculating and investing you're a speculator you're a gambler

you fucking degenerate children I don't give a fuck how many cartoon fucking gorillas you place on your fucking Facebook profile you're a gambler and you're throwing away money. It's all a scam. And that is why Squid Game coin collapsed because it was a scam. Someone created Squid Coin, a bunch of people who are idiots, bumped their money into it, dumped their money into it,

hoping they get in early. Because guess what? If only you get in early, if only the thing is you get in early so you can sell it to someone who got in late and the thing that it is that you got in early on is nothing, you're a gambler. You're a gambler. I could make anything value.

Let's have Kourtney Kardashian say tomorrow that Uno cards are valuable. Let's stop making Uno cards right now. So all the Uno cards in the world become valuable because there's geeks in the world who fucking are incels and don't use their dicks. Then I'll have Uno cards and I'll sell you my Uno card. You buy my Uno card early. I'll be selling it at a cheaper price because there's more of them. And then at some point, there'll be less UNO cards, and those will be more expensive. But guess what?

When the apocalypse comes, you can't buy a fucking stack of bread with UNO cards. I'm sick of people telling me I'm out of the loop. No, you're loopy. You want to invest your money? Buy a building. the problem with this is a lot of these people aren't exposed to immigrants do you think that immigrant jews and indians and south asians and greeks are coming here going like i came to america to buy bitcoin where can i find some ethereum oh boy i want to make a nice life for my family. So I'm going to go to Williamsburg.

Oh, you got a building? Oh, that's old news. That's very boomer of you. What are you going to do? People need a place to live? Oh, they don't live in the world anymore. They live in a tent under the bridge in Austin and they live in the computer. Buy yourself some nice fake sneakers for your avatar because that is a real thing that's going to sustain us in a time of when there's no harvest. When the harvest goes dry and people need to live, they'll move it to the internet. They'll all be living in a dystopia where they're all living under a bridge, but then they'll sign onto their iPhones and feel happy because they're living in the computer. You're just not exposed to enough immigrants who have a real hunger to invest.

You're a bunch of rich kids with superfluous money gambling against each other to make money. And I don't knock the hustle. One guy loses a lot of money on Bitcoin. Another guy gains a lot of money and they keep pushing it around. Good for you. But don't tell me you're an investor.

You are a speculator. You're a gambler. And that's all there is to it. I think that sums it up on MFTs. And I don't think I'm ever bringing them up again. Just like the word trans, which if you say it, knocks your views down in half.

I'm not bringing it up again. From now, I'm going to call them T-girls. Now I'm going with the proper porn nomenclature, T-girls. T-girls, or the more offensive to the LGBTQ, C-C-A-F-D community, shemales. The one thing I do like about porn is it, porn and gambling, I like, the thing I do like about them is they boil it down to the just basest, raw animal truth of humanity.

They just, it's like what we want to do most is just, you know, we want to get the glue out of our glue gun. And those are just the most honest moments, you know? It's like, what do you want to jack off to? And the porn industry goes, you can't just title it female porn, which is, I just want to say this.

If there was no difference between trans women and women, why don't they just call trans porn regular porn? Again, I'm not a genius. It's just the world is so wacky. I could make that very profound point. That's obvious. And people, if I was on Joe Rogan and said that, maybe I could go sell out fucking arenas talking to people about it and just call myself a member of the dark web. Hey guys, I want to give a speech today. Here's my point. When I'm feeling a little, when I've had a little bit too much straight porn, I'm a little sick of that, I like to take a gander over to see what the

chicks with dicks are doing, but you know what, it's the same, it's exactly the same, so I was looking for something a little kinkier, a little off the grid, something on an odd block, I was looking at something where when I finished, I wanted to say, am I a $3 bill or not, am I a $3 bill, am I still a straight man, can I look my friends in the eye and say, that girl's got a fat ass anymore, I wanted something, a little danger to it. And I went to the old shemale section and guess what? They're just regular girls,

no different than the regular porn. Porn industry can't do that. The porn industry has to tell the truth. And they just go, hey, straight guy, you want to try

something different tonight? Yeah, check out this shemale porn. And when you first find it, you go, Yeah. Check out this shemale porn. And when you first find it, you go, what is, what is shemale porn? And then you pop it on. You're like, what's that? Oh God. Oh God.

Oh. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. No. No. Oh God. Oh God. Oh, God. Oh, God. No. No, God.

Oh, God, forgive me. So, I know it's what you call a simple argument to prove that there may be a difference beyond the obvious ones. Doesn't mean they're not beautiful. Doesn't mean they're not, should be discriminated against they should be treated like everyone else and treated as a third gender and be called their pronouns i support

i support i support i'm a notice i'm a notice i'm a notice i'm a notice i'm a notice i'm a notice i'm a notice you know it used to be you know what you know what gen xers and catholics have in common they self-flagellate you know it's like i love when i do a comedy show and i see like a gen xer or millennial like a woke person in the audience and i make a joke and you can see them computing like holding their face from laughing i can't laugh and they start whipping himself he made he made a joke i can't let him he said trans like catholic priest guy i can't i can't oh this is bad they just start whipping themselves with a belt. Stop jerking off.

Stop jerking off. Stop it. I can't, I can't, I can't. Which makes you think that they're at odds with reality, which often faith is at odds with. Once you start accepting faith as fact, that's when the Renaissance is over, and that's when you prepare for the Dark Ages.

If you look throughout history, it's just a constant cycle between faith and reason. Faith makes a comeback, things get a little dark. Then reason makes a comeback, things get a little light. Renaissance. Then we go back to, it's just back and forth. The Arabs, you know, they had their enlightenment. They invented algebra.

And then religion came. Knocked it down a couple pegs. Okay? Same thing happened in Europe. You had the Greeks. You had Romans. And then what happened? Christianity came.

Things went dark. People said, hmm, let's figure out how to make a light bulb. And someone said, stop that black magic. God provides us the light we need with the sun and fire. Burn him. Burn him. provides us the light we need with the sun and fire burn him burn him burn him you will die in eternal hell do not threaten my charismatic business baby i'm preaching the gospel and fucking all these guys teenage daughters this is a hustle that I will banish you to death we are the Vatican we have set it up where there's no police allowed in our city we're an independent state where no international force can come in no tourists allowed what the hell

is happening in that building only the pope knows but i could tell you it involves drinking baby blood derrick is becoming a cop in florida someone says look if desantis does get an influx of unvaccinated police who go to Florida seeking a tax break and a $5,000 bonus, it's only fair that every state dumps all their criminals in Florida to balance out the ecosystem. You can't have a surplus of cops with no criminals. So for every cops that are out there, give them something to do. If 20,000 cops come down to Florida with

their $5,000 bonus then I expect to see 20,000 criminals enter Florida and let the fucking games begin baby let them begin and film it we're getting to that point where that's the only thing that can entertain me it's the only thing that's going to be able to hold our attention okay the kids want it quick these gen z kids are absolute dead inside sociopaths who don't know what to believe imagine growing up in this era where nobody tells you what to believe they just go hey man figure it out for yourself and some eight-year-olds on the internet going like oh shame up horn uh destruction destruction china's invading joe Joe Biden fucking has got a mental illness Nancy Pelosi's an alligator

Hillary Clinton drinks baby blood Donald Trump's a Russian spy You're going like, hey, you know what? I'm just gonna torture animals in my backyard So I can feel Because this stuff is a little too crazy And I'm numb Jay Harden 15 if there are no criminals in florida there's going to be an influx of unarmed alligators shot have at it boys and comrade khalib just wants me to know that aoc is for rome

absolutely uh ethnology wants me to know my pronouns are he him gay for pay Gary Frost wants us all to know in caps that I love baby blood Bob Flacco wants us to know Yanni looks down to use his nostrils as binoculars.

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you use the promo code FUMES at manscaped.com. That's 20% off and free shipping. That is a good deal with the code FUMES for my fans at manscaped.com. Make your dick your priority. So, speaking of baby blood speaking of dracula's speaking of alligators this this story is almost too good we're gonna have a lot of fun with this one so apparently q non like i said i do not know why ho why Hollywood movie executives have not hired these kids. Rip them out of their boring Midwestern

or country or suburban lives. Bring them in to Studio City for a meeting and have them figure out a movie script that The Rock and Jason Statham can inhabit. These guys' imaginations are number one right now. At a time where all ideas have been done, this is where you have to go for an original idea. QAnon.

So, what's QAnon up to? Well, let's check in. We should probably do a segment. We should have segments on the show called, you know, work it girl on notice and we'll keep up with keeping up with QAnon. So QAnon has gathered in large numbers in Dallas, in Dallas, which I've been to Dallas in QAnon's defense. If you do take a trip to Dallas with your meetup group, and I guess you can call QAnon the meetup group, the only thing really to see is the spot where JFK got murdered.

It's just an X in the street, and you go to Daily Plaza, and you see it, and then there's nothing else to see in Dallas, okay? Unless you're friends with Michael Irving, and then you can see some cocaine and strippers at some point. But they reportedly gathered in Dallas, Texas at the site of JFK's assassination, which there's an X on the spot. I went there and I just drew a zero

and I wanted other tourists to play tic-tac-toe with me on the X where JFK got shot. They gathered there because they believe this is good. They believe John F. Kennedy Jr. John F. Kennedy Jr. will announce a 2024 presidential run alongside Donald Trump. They believe that that's going to happen.

Now, there's one issue with this. First of all, Donald Trump would never have JFK Jr. on his ticket. Secondly, because he's a loser. Secondly, John F. Kennedy Jr. has been dead for 22 years. But what they believe, what they believe, can you go back up where we just were? What they believe is that the, okay, we lost the article for a second. Hello, come on Forbes, open it up. we're not subscribing to your dumb fucking gazette here we go i can see it um they believe that the world is run by a cable of satan worshiping pedophiles until they prove that not true i'm gonna going to suspend my judgment on that one.

Okay? I'm going to suspend my judgment because you look back through history, an argument can be made that the elite class ends up becoming a cable of Satan-worshiping pedophiles. So I'm going to suspend my – their premise might be correct. Just like if you have a premise that something was fishy on 9-11, but then you stop there, I'm not going to argue with you. But once you start telling me that it was a hologram or that Israel created a paper plane and threw it into the building,

then you lose me. But if you say something was fishy, I'll say, you know what? I don't think you're crazy. And if you tell me that the world is run by a cable of satan worshiping pedophiles I'll say I don't think you're crazy but then when you go on and start telling me that JFK jr is going to run with Donald Trump in 2024 I'm saying okay first of all why are you gathering at John F. Kennedy's death site? Do you think he's going to emerge from the X on the ground? Like a Star Trek episode? And secondly, he's fucking dead, guys.

So, apparently journalist Steve, a good old Italian kid. Steve, I don't know if I can trust an Italian journalist. Steven Monticelli. You know, Steven Monticelli goes to get a scoop. He goes, Hey, how you doing? Yeah. I know you know somebody's fucking Q-Nop. Here's the deal. I'll give you a little cash. We gotta bleep that word. And you give me a little cash.

I'll give you a little fucking cash. You give me a scoop. How's a 20 sound for you, kid? Here you go. Take a fucking 20. What do you want from me? I got cash for you. So, Steven Monticelli. I just gotta read I got cash for you. So Steven Monticelli, I just got to read the whole thing. It said, Steven Monticelli posted pictures

to Twitter Monday of a crowd gathered at the AT&T Discovery District in downtown Dallas with many wearing Trump JFK Jr. 2024. What's the deal with that? Trump 2024 shirts. Ahead of an expected announcement from Kennedy on Tuesday at Dealey Plaza,

where his father, obviously, famous or infamously, whatever you want to look at it, was assassinated in 1963. So, according to various QAnon conspiracy theories, the younger Kennedy is expected to emerge from two decades of hiding. How do you hide in this era unless you're in a national park?

And if you're in a national park, how do you survive without getting killed by Brian Landry? He's expected to emerge from two decades of hiding and be named vice president Without getting killed by Brian Landry. He's expected to emerge. From two decades of hiding. And be named vice president. He will be reinstated by Trump.

Who in turn will become king of kings. This is all true. This is not. This is all true. QAnon is well documented. I have some friends. Whose parents believe in this shit. One thing they thought is at the inauguration that um this was a true q9 conspiracy at biden's inauguration what was going to happen was all the secret service fbi everyone was going to turn on

biden they were going to arrest him and nancy pelosi and reinstate trump it didn't happen it didn't happen, but look, I don't want to break your balls too much since I'm Steven Monticelli here. You guys had a good fucking story. I mean, that makes a great fucking movie. You kidding me? A president gets the election robbed from him, okay?

And then boom, next thing you know, of course, Rock, Jason Statham, they parachute in off air force one jets right down they hold guns to palance they hold guns in uh to biden and they say hans up seems here's what you think your president not going to happen sorry dr jones so q9 i'm with you man i am absolutely with you dude um i think there's a good chance that jfk jr will reanimate himself and run with trump on the ticket in 2024 and obviously he will re-emerge at the sight of his father's imagination. This is kind of like Dungeons and Dragons for adults. Now, when I say reality is a suggestion,

I've said it many times in this show, as you know, the amenities of modernity, ding. Reality is a suggestion, ding. It's on both sides. And like I said, not to reiterate or to beat a dead horse, or in this case, to beat a dead empire. Yeah.

To death. It's because people are coddled by these amenities and modernities. They have this free time. They're living as children. They're not paying attention to their kids. Their kids are being raised by AI. You know, they're being raised in the street. They care about what little Nas is doing.

They don't even listen to you anymore because freedom has just gone too far. And so now they're still using their imagination like kids. Because look, if me and Jesse were children in Park Slope, first of all, we wouldn't be outside because we could get killed by groups of children who were just feral. So we'd stay inside so we wouldn't get robbed and

beat. And we would make up a game, and I'd call it this game, where we're going to rescue the presidency from this legion of pedophile demons. And we're going to be like, who's president? I'll just pick a dead guy, JFK Jr. or whatever one I can remember. And Donald Trump, two names I can remember. This is a child's game. So they think that he faked his death to become their leader. So he waited 20 years. He faked his death, went in hiding for 20 years.

If you were that handsome, would you stay away from the cameras? I mean, why would this kid want to hide? He had a successful magazine. He was about to run. There was talk about him running against Hillary Clinton for Senator of New York, which she would have lost to. And he ends up dead. Okay. Because Hillary Clinton killed him just like she killed Vince Foster. And just like she kills anyone that gets in her and her husband's path I'm surprised Monica Lewinsky hasn't been killed by a nano robot by now but I think Hillary just wants her to live living in shame as the whore that got a cigar stuck in her pussy by her husband because I think that's the only reason why Monica Lewinsky's right now is Linda Tripp still alive or is she Tim Dillon?

That made Jesse laugh hard because I've never, Tim Dillon claims his mother is off in some mental institution, but maybe his mother is Linda Tripp or maybe he is fucking Linda Tripp. Jay Harbin 15, Trump and Kennedy would be a good pairing Trump gets antibody shots and the Kennedys just get shots those are two kids who got shots one got the vaccine one got one, two, maybe the front of the face

and back of the head depending on what you believe the only reason I think Monica Lewinsky is still standing because Hillary knows that Monica Lewinsky will never ever be able to live outside of the shadow of sucking her husband's dick.

She's like, you know what, whore? You know what, whore? You cheated with my husband. I mean, she knew, Monica Lewinsky knew he was married. What? How come nobody's married?

How come nobody's mad at Monica Lewinsky? She didn't know what she was doing. He's the man of power. So you're making the argument that women got such small brains, which you're not wrong, that they're so meek and feeble that they can't make their own decisions when they're around people of power.

They just become special needs kids, which I have a brother which, so don't even try to cancel me. And they just go, I don't know what to do. I guess I'm suck. I guess he forced me to do. Nobody forced you to do anything, Monica. You sucked a married man's dick.

And somehow you're the fucking hero of this story. And Bill Clinton, who just wants to get his pipe clean because his wife's a lesbian, is somehow the mean one here how would you like it if you married a power hungry sociopath who married you as a pawn for her own agenda to feed her own ambition to one day be leader of the free world so she won't give you any pussy how would you feel when there's a fat chubby available intern walking around offering you a pass

jay harvin 15 monica lewinsky can't live outside of the shadow because she was under a desk she got her fame from being in a literal shadow. The kid, Jay Harvin, 15, he's got a six-shooter on each side, and he fucking shoots, baby. Am I saying something that's not right? How come nobody blames Arnold Schwarzenegger's fucking housekeeper? It's only the men that get in trouble.

I don't believe in the Hillary Clinton body count, but when you look at the amount of people that die around them or suicide around them, it's at least interesting. JFK Jr. was going to run against her? I mean, it's people. I mean, look, I don't think she killed jfk jr i think that kennedys just have a curse on their family you know they just fucking die um

but it's interesting it's interesting to say the least miller jeff 99 says well i do there's a lot of people who believe in the Clinton body count. Who knows? And look, if they did murder all these people, hats off, they've gotten away with it somehow. Jay Harvin, 15.

Monica was playing on Clinton's piece like Clinton was playing saxophone on MTV. You've done better ones, Jay Harvin, 15. But I appreciate the swing. I appreciate the swing, Jay Harvin, 15, but I appreciate the swing. I appreciate the swing, Jay Harvin. November 4th, we had a good time because this will come out after that. So the Supreme Court seems skeptical in a hearing they had on Monday to upholding Texas's strict abortion law.

This is very interesting stuff. Okay? And the two people who sound skeptical of Texas's abortion law are Barrett and Kavanaugh. Isn't this ironic? Is that the same Kavanaugh that the left tried to get rid of because he allegedly laid on her, laid on Dr. Ford, and pinned her down while his friend was laughing? The friend didn't corroborate it.

Another friend of hers didn't corroborate the party or whatever. Who knows what happened? Apparently, I'm supposed to say it definitely happened or I'm a Nazi. I don't know is all I'm saying. But it seems it's one accusation from 40 years ago of something that happened in a bedroom. Obviously, Dr. Ford wasn't raped, according to her, but she's got kind of a Franks and Beans look in her face.

I got to be honest. And I'm not supposed to at least suspect that maybe she's doing this as a woman who strongly believes in upholding a woman's right to choose knowing that trump's nominations could put that in question i'm not supposed to suspect although there's a motive for something like this to to try to stop the nomination of Kavanaugh. I'm not supposed to suspect for one second that this story, this uncorroborated story, is true.

I can't suspect that. I can't. If I do, you start calling me a right-wing person. You people have lost your fucking minds. And you know how much money was spent on this fucking investigation? If she's not telling the truth, she should be ashamed of herself. But she may be. I'm not saying she's not.

I'm saying I don't know. I'm just saying not a lot of evidence, especially when 40 years go by, and it's uncorroborated from even people who were there. I'm just saying, I don't know. But back to the point, that very Kavanaugh may be the one who upholds the sacred Roe v. Wade, which I personally agree with, not so much for moral reasons or ethical reasons, but because I'm an adult and I realize you can't just fucking let all the babies live. And it's not my place to say I'm not making the baby. And I also think that there needs, it can't, like everything, there needs to be some sort of middle ground.

You can't just have a fucking baby in your belly for eight months and then have an abortion. No, there needs to be, it's a dark issue. I'm not gonna say it's not. I'm not gonna say the right is wrong. I'm not gonna say the right is right. I'm just saying,

I think the left is right in the right to choose just for order's sake, at the very least. You can't force people to do that. That's very Taliban-esque. But Kavanaugh said Texas has exploited a loophole in the law to bar people from going to federal court,

even when those people are targeted by an unconstitutional state law. are targeted by an unconstitutional state law. So all this worry about a politicized court, all this thing. See, there is something that kind of happens when people become judges. It is a calling of all callings, meaning they interpret the Constitution, they interpret law, and they separate their personal beliefs, their faith, and everything from the rule of law. Our country was not founded in faith. I don't want to have this argument with people over and over again, oh, Greco-Roman tradition, I'm sorry, the Christian tradition, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Those were the

people that found that it came from a Christian tradition. But it was formed by enlightened men who based the country on a republic and on common law. These are things that have nothing to do with faith. In fact, they included separation of church and state for that reason. People who object to abortion, obviously it's because of their faith, because of their morality.

But law is different. Law is different. Having order in But law is different. Law is different. Having order in a society is different. The Constitution is based on laws. So he's saying, he's calling it unconstitutional.

Kavanaugh! Old Kavvy! Listen to this adult speaking to other adults. War makes for strange bedfellows. When I am demonetized off every platform and you see me on Trump's social media platform going viral, just know I didn't make that choice.

I was forced into it by war, a war to be able to remain a comedian, and war makes for strange bedfellows. When we defeated the Germans, who was our ally, the murderous dictator Stalin, The murderous dictator, Stalin. War makes for strange bedfellows. When you watch my video in 2027, and at the end it says, make America great again, war makes for strange bedfellows.

J. Harvin, 15, our country was formed by enlightened men and the light was a reference to the color of their skin. That's the way you come back, baby. After a fucking dud, you keep shooting. You keep shooting. I knew the kid wasn't going to go 0 for 2. One for one. But he actually had one before, so he's 2 for 1. The kid is a 700 hitter.

but he actually had one before, so he's two for one. The kid is a 700 hitter. Yanni mandates Pappas will never be demonetized. Oh, yeah. I'm hated by both the right and left all the time because I have a need to be a rascal to everyone. What is the fun of it? What is the fun of it if you're not poking all the bears what is the goddamn fun do you do you really think steven colbert wakes up and feels good about him fucking he feels good about himself when he sides with the power structure and status

quo every day to please his n Nabisco sponsors do you think he really do you think I'm you think I care that my show's smaller do you think I'm having any less fun than Stephen Colbert in this plan I'm having a fucking blast baby okay I play hide and go seek with my daughter I chase her I tell her secrets because she's not going to remember it I told her I killed a kid in Nam it's just nice to get it off my chest and say it to another human she's not going to remember it. I told her I killed a kid in Nam. It's just nice to get it off my chest and say it to another human who's not going to remember it. You can say anything to a baby. They don't know.

Like, look, your mom's a whore. I hate your mom. And she goes, She won't remember it. Perfect place to confess your sins. It can't feel good. It can't feel good. It can't feel good. No matter how much you're getting paid, it just can't feel good.

That's why I imagine a lot of these whores end up killing themselves with pills because it just can't feel good to not be yourself. It just can't feel good. When I believe the only victory in this life is to be doggedly you. Because everything else is ephemeral anyway. Winning by cheating is a bitch move.

And what do I mean by cheating? Compromising. Taking the easy road. You're a bitch. And remember, all these fucking entertainers who claim that they're better than you or think that they're great because they're making a lot of money selling their souls. Just remember, I've never met one person, myself included, who didn't want attention or fame, who wasn't broken and pathetic. Not one. And I've met a lot. They're all broken and pathetic. And I mean that. Think about this.

They crave your attention and love. You don't crave their attention and love. They want the attention and love from you. That's what made them who they are. They seek you. So don't ever think they're better than you. They want you to love them. You could care less about them. When they go out of style,

nobody gives a shit about Lance Bass now. Okay? He's just a gay guy in a lesbian relationship who was the Ringo of NSYNC. So once the time passes, you don't care about him anymore, but guess what he cares about? God, he wants to be what it was. He wants your attention the way it was.

They're all like that. And I like Lance Bass. I'm just using him as an example because he's in a lesbian relationship talking about gays who are in a lesbian relationship. Cal Pan is a $3 bill. $3 for the man on the right. Cal Pan, who I like very much, and I respect the way he did it. He made a joke. You know what he said? I like Kal Pan. Everyone knows him from, you know, Kumal and the other foreign guy go to White Castle. What's the name of it?

Okay, I'm on notice. I'm on notice. I'm on notice. I'm on notice. I'm on notice. I'm on notice. I just can't remember the other guy's name. But it's obviously a beloved movie

and Kal Pan has come out as gay and he's been in a relationship with another guy for 11 years his partner and him been together for 11 years that's what i mean when i say lesbian relationship because that type of monogamy is very lesbian-esque because if i found out cal pan was gay i'd be like okay how many grinder appointments do you have tonight that's more of a gay move. Being in a relationship for 11 years is typically more of a lesbo move. But he made a joke and his joke was, he said, my parents have been very supportive.

He said, once you tell South Asian immigrant parents that you're going to be an actor, telling them you're gay after that is a piece of cake. That, you know, how about that? He made a joke about it. He knows it's not a big deal. You know, he didn't make himself into this huge victim.

He lives in America. He knows he's not in Calcutta walking in shoes, without shoes. You know, he knows his parents came here for a better life and he's got one. Just like me. I'm the fucking son of immigrants.

Who were slaves. You ain't gonna hear me complain that much. This ain't Ottoman occupied Greece. This ain't Calcutta, Indiana Tuesday. Hats off to Cal Penn. Was I calling him Cal Penn? Now they can clip that and say he won't learn

immigrants' names, but if you watch his podcast, I fuck up all the words. See how you can just clip it? Jay Harvin, 15. It's $3 for the man on the right, but actually $3.50 since they don't pay taxes.

Did you get that one? Okay, we're two for two. Spanglish wants me to know it's Harold and Jumar. It's Harold and Kumar. Spanglish,

I found out Paolo Hunic was gay and it made me rethink gay club. I mean, fight club. Grant Trower. Oh, the great Grant Trower. Grant Trower Realty. Joe Biden tried to have sex with Kamala's turkey neck. Happy Thanksgiving. Robert Durst. Robert Durst Robert Durst has finally been indicted for his 1982 murder of his first wife I mean the kid I think has Michael Meyer numbers I think he put up like five or six murders the guy is uh from a billionaire family and this is how long it takes when you're a psychopathic killer for you to get indicted with murder. And that's why I just want to emphasize,

I do believe white privilege exists in contexts now, but only in certain contexts. It used to exist as the norm. It used to exist as an all-encompassing, systematic, oppressive tool. That's why when someone sent me something that said that there was a false witness, which is clearly a false witness

in the murder trial in Florida. Who was the kid who got killed with the um the hood on and the guy who shot him oh the zimmerman thing zimmerman thing the zimmerman thing um trayvon martin um the the the woman purporting to be the girlfriend of trayvon martin is clearly not the girlfriend of trayvon mart Martin and was put there by their lawyers. It's clear. I mean, I watched something on it

and there's just like, that's clear. But I said, good. I said, good. I'm glad. I'm glad.

This is payback for all the fucking black people who were framed for all, not saying that he didn't deserve, you know, because I think the kid followed Trayvon Martin and he shouldn't have

and he tried to do some fucking, you know, he tried to do some vigilante shit and he got his ass beat. And I think he shot him because he was getting his ass beat. But, and Florida's got stupid laws. But yeah, there's clearly, there's a, there's a fake witness there. It's clear. I watched this thing and I was like, oh, that's obvious. But I said, good. You know, there's no actions without consequences. So I hope more white people get framed because it's payback for all the framing that happened to black people

throughout the years for bullshit they didn't do because of white privilege and systemic racism. So good. Good. But my point is, nowadays I think it's more rich privilege.

Rich. I don't think Robert Durst was able to be a free man for i mean 40 plus years i mean he killed other people too and he was still able to eat soup and live i mean look at they're putting him away now the guy's 100 years old this is fucking i could call it white maybe white but more rich privilege because he's loaded dude he's 78 years old that documentary when he admitted he killed people came out like fucking eight years ago and he's still on trial like he killed him he admitted he killed her but this is what happens when you have a billion dollars to prolong litigation the best lawyers and so thank you i'm sure the victim's families

are very happy the ones that are still alive will remember that their victim was even the victim because they never met her because they were just born 20 years ago but Robert Durst for all who are concerned is finally

justice is being served from 1982 I mean this is bullshit the kid was able to get away with it for 40 plus fucking years fuck it call it white privilege 40 plus fucking years. Fuck it. Call it white privilege. Pete Davidson

is allegedly fucking Kim Kardashian. Which you know what they say. Once you go black you fuck Pete Davidson before you go you never go back did i say that kids dick should be in a museum already yeah that's all there is to say about that he's living an amazing life and it's hilarious and it's fun and i don't know what is

going on underneath those what i can only assume are Tommy John boxer briefs because the kid probably only has the best for that piece and Pete Davidson let me just say this that fucking golden horn you got if you are not outfitting that thing in Tommy John's underwear which is not a sponsor of this podcast but that's how much I love Tommy John underwear because it's like a goddamn limousine for your cock. It is that good. It's the best underwear I've ever had on. And if that kid is not casing that golden dick in Tommy John's, then it's a national tragedy.

Take care of that thing. That is, it's a piece of art. It's a national treasure. I mean, that dick has been dipped in the premiums puss-puss we have to offer. I mean, now he is dicking down Kim Kardashian and here's the thing, he's got a bigger dick than Kanye.

Supposedly the kid's, he has a bat. I mean, you could put a fucking camera on that guy's dick and shoot a fucking promo. He's got a tripod this kid and he likes older women too I mean Kim Kardashian 44 Pete Davidson

I think he's 27 at this point I mean the kid's having just the funnest life there's this picture of him on a roller coaster with Kim Kardashian and he's just laughing his hair's going up

God bless him the kid lost his father in 9-11 it's good to know that God loves America you know his dad his dad was FDNY so his dad got to the gates and he was like listen I made an early exit you know I'm just I'm just a fucking firefighter I'm a Yankee fan from Staten Island okay I don't belong here you know these fucking you know these you know these Sandys they put here. And I understand, God, you know, you work in mysterious ways. There's one thing I ask of you.

I want my son to be a big fucking star, a big fucking star. And I want him to bang the sweetest, most premier puss puss that the red, white, blue has to offer. And that's all. I'll be a good fucking guy up here. I'll hold Jesus's shit. I'll do whatever you want. I'll put out whatever fires the devil tries to do as long as my fucking son gets to fuck the

premierist. Pass! Pass! That this fucking great country has to offer. I will put out all the devil's fires. J. Harvin 15. Most women think Pete Davidson is black

because they only look at the skin around his eyes. Another goodie. Kid's got dark circles. It's odd. Another goodie. A lot of good ones. The Kavanaugh one is, that's just, I know there's a lot of liberal women who

just don't know how to feel about that one but just remember what i said war makes for strange bedfellows american airlines has canceled thousands of flights what is going on nobody wants to get back to work is Is it the vaccine mandates? Is it a combination? Is it the demand of flights? There's too many and it can't be served with staff. Supposedly, it's all these people during the pandemic were offered buyouts and unemployment and stuff and these whatever grants they got from the government and just people don't want to get back to work.

That's what they're saying. This obviously happened with Southwest. But I'm a little skeptical because they're also saying that it's because of high winds. But why are all the other airlines flying in those winds and you're not? Southwest Airlines and Spirit Airlines in particular, staffing shortages have hit all staff spirit well i thought spirit airlines that was part of what spirit airlines was was just just no staff

i think you just get on and there's one guy flying the plane he's drunk and you just cross your fingers i didn't even think they had did do they serve drinks on spirit can they afford to on a 39 ticket to have You can take a $39 ticket to Paris. So severe winds at the Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, they claim,

is what's behind this. But then they also sneak in the articles and also people don't want to work. It has to be something. Or maybe they walked off the job because of the mandates. Nobody's saying,

and I'm very curious as to why nobody's saying. Right? Like it's confusing, right? Like you haven't heard a concrete answer for this and for the Southwest thing, right? Into the mic. Even the articles all over the place. The articles all over the place.

Like nobody knows or they're not saying because they don't want to make the mandate look bad oh i think you got to lift the mandate at this point you can't keep going with the mandate i mean people are going to do what they're going to do 80 of the population is vaccinated at this point i think 70 is. 80% has at least one shot. That's what we were targeting. We were targeting 70, 80%. You have to lift all the mandates at this point. You have to look out for the economy as a whole.

Look, there was going to be controversy. Every pandemic, there's been controversy. There was controversy with the polio vaccine. There's been vaccine skepticism always. Let's just, it's time to put it all behind. You got 80% vaccinated. You got the boosters for the vulnerable people. Everybody else, you know, it is what it is at this point.

80% are vaccinated, okay? And a lot of those other people that aren't vaccinated have had COVID. So they have some level of immunity, albeit I think the latest is it's not as good as a vaccine response, I think, but that keeps flip-flopping. There's too much news. But at this point, we could assume 90% of people have either had COVID or been vaccinated, or at least 85%. Lift all the mandates, open the country, and let this thing become endemic. People are going to die like the flu.

It could be worse, but we can't continue to live like this because our economy will not survive. And I think globally, they have to do the same thing, okay? And they have an easier time. So all those countries that are going on lockdown, if their factory has one person who has COVID, China, this is a message to you. Stop it, okay? Take out your guns, this is a message to you. Stop it, okay?

Take out your guns, force all your people to get the fucking vaccine, and then open up and build our toys. I want a Tesla. If you look at them, you'll find it's cap. This is just a fun story. Marjorie taylor green has been fined 48k for um uh eschewing the mask mandate in congress so she's out 48k i'm sure she'll be able to raise that from her cunon constituency who will start a Kickstarter for her

and just give her the 48K. As a hero, you're a hero, Marjorie Taylor Greene. You're a hero, girl. Hit with four more fines over house mask rule. Let me say this. I'm not going to let these Satan-worshipingipping, devil-worshipping pedophiles take me down. They want to muzzle me with their mask indoors. It's not going to happen.

They issued a notice on Monday outlining Greene's fines for three consecutive days when she breached the congressional rule. What are you going to do? If you think you're going to put a mask on that fucking psycho, you got another thing coming. That bitch does CrossFit. She fucks other people's husbands and she's insane.

To expect her to have courtesy for others when she believes all others are communists? Not gonna happen. She ain't wearing no mask for no fucking commies. I wanna see her versus Nancy Pelosi in an MMA fight and whoever wins gets to fight a trans MMA fighter. I've offered that.

I've offered that deal many times. I've offered that deal many times. There was a mass shooting. There was 12 killed in mass shootings on Halloween, but that's not news. This has been long days. I'll see you in Facebook's metaverse where we'll all be selling each other

NFTs of fake sneakers to go to fake dinner and be fake rich and pretend happy as Mike Zuckerberg, his real name's Mark. See, I can't even pronounce his name. Mark Zuckerberg laughs all the way to the bank after selling all our information to Cambridge Analytica and by

supporting all the fucking Russian and Chinese and whoever else, fake news and fake pages, a fake Black Lives Matter page that ended up being fake, all these other pages that end up being fake and led by foreign intelligence. He let that happen because they were buying ads and that money went to Facebook and you pretended like you didn't know that you were contributing to the destruction of America while you get to walk away a rich man and the rest of us are just broken and calling each other commies and Nazis and fighting in the street you get to create a cute little metaverse where we can escape it all the dystopia that you created which is going to force us into our homes scared of one another so we can interact with fucking goggles on while we sit in our home

with our fat bodies but then our but then our avatars are just the hottest cartoons we're all walking around like jessica rabbit you know it's going to get popular especially in america because there's going to be some fucking 400 pound whale in in North Dakota with a short haircut and neck fat who nobody wants to fuck, who's going to walk into Mark Zuckerberg's metaverse looking like Jessica Rabbit, getting fucking eaten out by some other cartoon fake kid.

Is that pedophilia if you fuck the avatar of a 14-year-old boy? It's a good question. We need new laws. I just asked, I present a question to you, Jesse. If I am in Mark Zuckerberg's metaverse and we're all interacting in our goggles and I start having cyber sex with another avatar

who I don't know who it is and I'm a 40-year-old woman and he ends up being a six-year-old boy. Is that pedophilia? Yes. Yes, okay. Jay Harvin calls it meta catfish. If you get meta catfished,

but what if you don't know? It's still a crime? What if you didn't know? What if you were fooled? I guess at some point they'll have to make a way that you're verified. That would have been nice to verify the fake accounts. That would have been nice to say, hmm, is this really a Black Lives Matter Facebook page or is this some foreign intelligence group that created this page to fucking divide

this country? Google it. Get smarter. I don't know if a lot of people know that. The biggest Facebook fan page of Black Lives Matter, like the main one, was a fake account. And that's just one example of many. This has been happening for a long time.

All roads point to China. And I don't blame you, China. What we did with you in Taiwan. Okay, so what the British did is we went over there. We started taking all their opium, forcing them to take opium, selling the opium to other places. We didn't do that. The British did it.

And then the Chinese were like, stop. And we said, we're not going to stop. You're going to fucking keep buying our opium. They're like, you're ruining our society. We got drug addicts everywhere. And we said, the British said, hey, please, quiet. No more out of you, brownie. No more out of you.

You will take this opium. Also, you will give us Taiwan. So Hong Kong, Hong Kong, sorry. So they jacked Hong Kong. And now China wants to do a little payback. Look, call me Sweden, baby. Call me Switzerland. I will align with whoever's going to be the winner

out of this heavyweight matchup between the USA and the CCP. If I need to fucking learn Mandarin right now, let me know. Let me know. Let me goddamn know. Lastly, lastly it's really nice that he's created this metaverse he's come under all this fire and now he's like

trying to rebrand and you know i've been demonetized off instagram my videos don't get more than like a thousand views now it's hilarious tim dillon had his video that fake southwest he did some fake southwest announcer they They just removed the video. Yeah, on Instagram. Ricky Gervais posted a post he got flagged for from three years ago where he was calling animal trophy hunters cunts and they removed it because of the cunts.

So he's, Mark Zuckerberg's obviously trying to overcompensate and try to clean things up. And so Facebook and Instagram are essentially over. And he thinks this metaverse is gonna work. And I hope it doesn't. Or maybe I hope it does. I haven't tried it. Maybe it's awesome.

And maybe we'll all live in this metaverse together where there's no problems. Nobody dies until they die in real life because the only thing that is real is real life and you're all gonna die, okay? We'll end on this. The COVID global death toll right now has reached 5 million people dead

or as the earth likes to call it, not enough. Guys, patreon.com slash yannilongdays for your weekly bonus episode and other content. I throw up character pieces all the time. It's $5 a month to get all the audio. The extra episodes are audio and they're great. So it's another episode later in the week, just like the one that you enjoy here for free.

So please support the show. Go get yourself an extra episode every week. Also, the merch is up. You can click it on my Instagram profile. You can go to yannispapascomedy.com, click on the merch, get your Long Days merch, your shirts, whatever you want. There's a bunch up there. Go get that. For my tour dates, there's a bunch up there go get that for my tour dates go to yannispappascomedy.com okay yannispappascomedy.com uh we're talking about uh what is there phoenix there's um there's uh let's take a peek let's take a peek together right now we're gonna take a peek together like good little boys and girls. Okay, November 4th. Obviously, that was a great show. This is coming out after that. Then we got

Phoenix. Get your tickets. We got comics at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut. That's in December. Then we got House of Comedy in Plano, Texas. That's January 6th to the 8th. Then we got House of Comedy in Plano, Texas. That's January 6th to the 8th. Then we got SideSplitters in Tampa has been rescheduled to February 10th. And then we got the comic strip in Edmonton in Canada, February 17th to the 19th. The comic strip in New Westminster, British Columbia, the 24th to the 26th of February. House of Comedy in Bloomington, Minnesota, March 3th to the 26th of February, House of Comedy in Bloomington, Minnesota, March 3rd to the 5th, and LOL Comedy Club, San Antonio, March 24th to the 26th. This week coming up, when you hear this, I'll be in Austin, Texas at the Sunset Strip Comedy Club,

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He builds websites, runs digital advertising campaigns, and even offers in-depth consultations. So NateLinder.com. He just wants to help you get bigger on his social media, whether you're an individual or a company. Andrew Cuomo, secretary. These are our beloved Patreon members who really sponsor the show. We appreciate each and every one of you.

These are a couple of screwed-in Jew kids. I love these screwed-in kids. Z-Jama Realty for any commercial or apartment rental listings in Brooklyn. Z-Jama Realty. My fans, that's where you go in the New York area. If you're in the South Florida area, you hit up my man, granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com, 954-591-6465. Please prank call him on the Instagram at Grant underscore Trower. Okay?

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and we'll see you guys next week it's been a long day