Yannis Pappas Hour - Chiggers or Berry Bugs w/ Jeremiah Watkins
Episode Date: May 29, 2022Jeremiah Watkins comes in for a Longday and Yanni & Jeremiah pick up where they left off doing character pieces and going wild. This is the funniest episode of Longdays to date.Follow  @Jeremiah ...Watkins Join for a weekly extra Longday episode where Yanni really goes wild and more bonus content and benefits: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSubscribe to our clips page for podcast highlights https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwThe show goes out every Saturday. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What's up everybody, you are about to watch maybe the funniest episode of Long Days to date with my good buddy, the hilarious Jeremiah Watkins.
We go some wild places and it was just gold, it was just magic. I cracked up the whole time, you're gonna love it.
We felt it in the room. Most importantly, my special right now is out. I hope you're watching it. You've watched it. You shared it. It's free,
but it costs a share. Also, patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays for our weekly bonus episodes
where we really dig into stuff and go wild here on the set. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays.
Now enjoy this magical episode with Jeremiah Watkins. You can also go back and watch all
the episodes that me and Jeremiah have done together
by just Googling it. You know you can trust from the truth To the news and cameras To the fake politics and the propaganda
Get his kids screwed in, got a lot to say
Aw shit, it's about to be a long day
It's a long day
What's up everybody?
Welcome to another episode of Long Days
We have the great, the hilarious
First time on the new pod
Jeremiah Watkins.
First name Amish, last name African-American.
Doesn't get blacker.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You've probably heard that one before.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
I mean, for years, black people have been disappointed when I walk to the stage and
it's not a black guy.
Yeah.
When you hear coming to the stage, Jeremiah Walken.
Like when you do black shows, they remember your name.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the thing.
When you do black shows and you're white, because I came up in black rooms, it takes
them about three years to get your name right.
Sometimes I've been called up as Yan.
Give it up for Yam.
Give it up for Yenny. Give it up for Yanny Poop Yan Give it up for Yam Give it up for Yenny
Give it up for Yanny Poop
Give it up for Pap
I got called
Jerome Napkins
At a show once
And I was like
That's not even remotely close
Jerome Napkins
Yeah
Yeah they just got a tough time
But I would figure
They would be easy
Jeremiah Watkins
They would get it
They'd be like Oh man I got a cousin In North be easy. Jeremiah Watkins, they would get it. They'd be like, oh man,
I got a cousin in North Carolina named Jeremiah Watkins.
Right, exactly, exactly.
Yeah, and then you walk in, it is a little...
It's jarring.
Hey, guys.
Well, your first name is, that is a good, strong...
Like when I hear Jeremiah, I think like
a witch is going to get burned
or there's going to be butter churned
or there's a horse and buggy.
Jeremiah is a good,
I think even maybe Harrison Ford's character might've been named Jeremiah in witness.
Good fucking Amish movie.
I'm just pulling it out,
taking it.
I knew you didn't see it.
Not a lot of people did.
No.
Yeah.
No.
Old school.
I've seen Jeremiah Johnson.
Right.
I mean.
Now Harrison Ford was discovered by Steven Spielberg as a roofer you were discovered
doing christian porn is there a similarity in your trajectory as harrison ford's yeah i i think i'm
only seasoning and getting better with age yeah um you know my old stuff is a little hard to watch yeah but the new stuff is really cooking
yeah simon rex started uh as a guy who jerked off on camera i love simon rex but he's kind of like
the male kardashian he's what we have as an example of how you can get started if you got a
nice cock the american dream yeah it's the american dream yeah you did not start in softcore christian
porn i did not no no you started in stand-up stand-up comedy and what i like about you is
you're kind of a boundary list guy yeah you i don't know like when i do your podcast i don't
know what's gonna happen you throw on a wig there's wigs come on i know there's a lot of stuff
happening yeah yeah i almost feel like when i do your podcast, I am backstage at a drag show
or I'm a cross-dresser getting ready to give head for crack.
It's true.
It's dark.
It's sweaty in there.
There's wigs flying everywhere.
Everybody's lowering their voice.
Everyone lowers their voice.
Characters come out.
Come on.
You know that's probably what happens
when like a cross-dresser prostitute
is about to have a John come over.
They probably just like crack their back
and they go,
they go,
me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
They practice their high voice
and then they just grab a rig and put it on.
They're like, all right.
And then they just fucking slap some black lipstick on
and open the door.
And if that happens,
you're either about to suck some dick
or do Jeremiah Watkins podcast.
Hello.
Jeremiah wonders.
Hi.
Now, you do Scissor Bros as well.
Yes.
And it's going good.
It's going good.
Yeah.
And it's you and Stevie Weeby.
Yes, Stevie Weeby.
Who is the brother.
Is he the full brother of Bobby Lee?
He's a full brother.
No, he's the more you get to know him, the more you're like, oh, yeah, they're brothers.
They're brothers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So when you meet when you were with Stevie Weeby, you get an insight.
Now you got a full picture of what the family life must look like and how much their parents fucked up.
It's one way to put it.
Because you meet Bobby.
You're like, I get a sense that you meet the other brother.
And you're like, oh, no. This is the missing piece.
This is the missing piece.
No, yeah, the parents really did fuck up.
All our parents fucked up in some sense.
In different ways, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Because we're doing this.
Of course.
Yeah.
And I love your story because you were brought up in the church.
I was brought up in the church.
You were brought up in the church.
Yes, little Jeremiah.
And now you're not in the church.
Not, no. I mean, I'm not in the church not no i i mean i'm not in the church
uh it's it's weird i have a very la way of the way i describe i'm a very spiritual person now
you know what i mean like that's such an la way of describing like you know i still have a
relationship but you know it's i don't it's not organized i don't go to the organized religion
anymore i've kind of you of blazed my own trail.
It's also an easy way to just get out of the conversation just by going,
I'm a spiritual man.
Just leave me alone.
I don't want to.
I don't know.
Well, what's good about that also is people know right away that I don't have an agenda
and I'm not trying to push anything on them because that's a big part of religion
that turns a lot of people off right as soon as you say Catholicism Christian Baptist whatever
people are like oh this person gonna try to convert me in a conversation right now and that's
like you know that's the last thing that you want to make somebody feel right right I'm gonna I'm
gonna teach you some things right now right right it feels like the conversation before a banker calls you
or a telemarketer calls you know how they try to do that little small talk at the beginning yeah
and you're like you don't come on i know the chase yeah let's cut to the chase you want me to move my
money into this account so you can get a percentage yeah like the the telemarketer who's clearly
reading off his wrist so how's your day going right now? Yeah. Y'all having a good day?
Yeah.
No?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's nice weather out today, right?
Do you get a lot of calls from Germany?
Or Austria?
I'm not, I don't know the difference between Bavaria, Austria, and Germany accent.
Lots of calls from Germany.
Yeah, yeah.
So would you be interested in the product?
That's what's supposed to be your accent.
Oh, a thousand percent.
Yeah.
I talk about it on stage every once in a while.
I'm like, if I would have came out with a German accent right now,
nobody would have batted an eye.
Yeah.
And then I just go off as a German guy for a while.
I think you would have tried to prevent what happened, though.
I see it in your eyes.
That would have been one of the good ones.
Yeah.
If you were there, you would have.
You guys are really not that bad, I'll say.
I mean, yeah, a few of them are annoying,
but I get it. But seriously,
like, really? Is that many?
Come on. I'll give you one or two,
but come on.
Like, go a little easy on them.
German, you can't really do
a German accent without getting a little gay-ish. You've got to get a little
homoerotic. You know what's funny about the
German accent? The German accent can
only come in two brands.
Murderous
sociopath or flamboyant
gay. It's true. There's no middle of the
road German who's just, it's
either you always give it to Lasp
or it's his pussy means
asses! There's no middle. You can't do the accent it it to Lasp, or it's, put some in the oven!
There's no middle.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you can't do the accent.
It has to be like, yes, my name is Max.
I'm trying to meet some guys.
Come to my flat.
Come to my place.
Or it's like, welcome.
Hello there.
Go, a single file towards the shower.
There's no in between.
You will torture tonight.
You will keep your eyes open and you will like it.
If that's up to you,
if you would like that,
we could totally talk about it or not.
I don't know.
There's no middle.
There's no middle class.
I met a couple 100% German guys that were friends with my roommate.
And they were.
First of all, I just want to just point out real quick.
I don't think there's anything less than 100% German guy.
I think that's what Hitler was trying to make sure of.
We keep it pure.
You never meet like a German guy who's also, you know, a quarter Puerto Rican.
Yeah, yeah.
This is my German cousin.
He's also Nicaraguan, but we don't talk about that.
As very awkward as a family reunion can come from, he is literally as a black sheep as a hamlet.
I think only recently it's like, you know, they're new and rare.
It's like the new Teslas that sell out quick.
Mixed Germans are new.
That's a new phenomenon.
Oh, no, no, no.
Yeah.
We obviously in the US are pushing diversity so hard with everything.
Their diversity is like somebody's like, this is an Irish German over here.
It's good.
You don't meet a mixed German who's over 55.
Even the dogs.
The dogs are purebred.
The dogs are purebred, yeah.
They're not mixing with even the Dachshunds.
Yeah, and even the dogs don't have a lot of personality.
No, they're either super gay or they're evil.
It's one or the other.
Either super gay or evil may be the title.
Yep.
Yeah, you have to keep them super occupied in work and efficiency,
like a German shepherd, or it will bite your child.
Can we just go to the ballpark?
I just want to run around with you.
I want to bite you.
I want to kill you.
I want to... Is that a black person? Go to bite you. I want to kill you. I want to...
Is that a black person?
Go down to you.
Yeah, they have the pinchers, the shepherds.
What are the Germans?
Those are the two big Germans.
They got the Dachshund.
They got the Dachshund.
Dachshund.
They got the Weinreiner.
The Germans made a lot of dogs.
Yes.
Because they like to control things.
We like to control the genetics.
Yeah, they like to control things. We like to control the genetics. Yeah, they like to
have a say in the
outcome of what the species
is going to look like. Oh yeah, of course.
I don't know if anyone's ever really
talked about that.
I mean, they have how many fucking
let's look up how many German
There's got to be a lot of German breeds of dogs.
There's got to be a lot. Yeah.
I mean, how many are there?
15 German dog breeds that will probably surprise you.
Yeah, by surprise you meaning fucking bite your kid.
Yeah, no kidding.
I know we have the Dodge Hunt.
Listen, oh, an American Eskimo.
American Eskimo.
See, we made it very sneaky by calling it American.
He was also a German dog.
I love where you find these, Jesse.
We're on womansday.com.
The Dachshund.
Why is this your homepage, Jesse?
Bookmarks.
Check it daily.
See?
Little gay.
Yes.
Little gay.
There's no other.
So this one's called the Eurasia.
I actually have not seen this dog before.
I've literally never heard of a Eurasia.
But the Eurasia may only be midsize.
First, we tried to erase the Jews.
Then we tried to erase the dog.
That's very appropriate to have the name Eurasia.
Because the thing we like to do is
race.
Racing is one of our favorite sports
in past times here in Germany.
Be honest, Cleo!
We like to just race
what we consider to be
the mess. Pomeranian.
I had no idea that was a German breed. Yeah, I thought they were
Armenian.
Because Pomeranian is
spelled with an I-A-N.
It doesn't bark, it says buddy.
You know, because that's Kardashian.
The Armenian's always ending in I-A-N.
Tricky. Pomeranian.
That is very odd.
It's a little German bitch, isn't it?
A little German bitch.
You little fucking bitch. A little catty.
You little fucking bitch.
What are you doing over here?
Oh, we forgot about that one.
That's a big one.
Yeah, it's a Rottweiler.
Rottweiler.
This is my Rottweiler.
His name is Hank.
Do not ask why.
It's funny because the Rottweilers usually have the same collars on that perverted German guys
wear in German gay porn.
Yeah.
It's like the collar with the huge,
the huge bolt,
like the chain lock.
Are you hooking up a bike right now?
Yeah, you're either hooking up a bike
or you're about to get a bottle
stuck in your asshole.
Bottle service.
Bottle service.
Yeah, they have a different idea
bottle service in Germany
yeah
yeah German point
is always a little twisted
yeah it's something dark
yeah it hits me
it hits me
I can't feel it
unless it goes in
wait go back
I want to learn about
the Rottweiler
the Rottweiler
yes
but eventually
the muscular
courageous brain
was developed
by the Romans
to contain German tribes wow they flipped it on them oh wow so it was developed by the Romans to contain German tribes.
Wow, they flipped it on them.
Wow, so it was developed by the Romans
and the German tribes took it
and fucking put them on the Romans.
Yeah, but eventually
Rotties became the foundation stock
for many German breeds.
Rottweilers are often one of the breeds
most likely to be associated
with aggressive behavior
or big time gayness.
I've never heard them called Rottie.
Rottie.
Come here, Rottie.
Yes.
Come here.
Yeah, there we go again.
My Rottie just bit your child's face off.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
There we go again.
It's either Rottweiler.
Rottweiler.
Rottweiler.
Rottie, come here.
Why won't you come back to Papa?
Seriously.
I'm going back on Sun
why you haven't come home recently.
Yeah, we're onto something here, dude.
We are really onto something.
Let's go to another one.
Yeah.
This is the Vine Rhinoceros.
The Vine Rhinoceros.
Also known as the Silver Ghost.
That's scary.
The Silver Ghost of a dog?
The Silver Ghost.
Have you heard of the tale of the silver ghost?
I haven't heard it, but I'm sure it has something to do with hunting Jews.
You know how Jews like their silver?
Yes, and that's where we find them.
That's how we find them.
Because the dog can sniff silver better than the Jew.
When you hear nickels hit the ground,
two things will be looking for them.
The silver ghost.
The silver ghost will be coming.
Listen, Bobby, have you heard the myth of the silver ghost?
Hide your gold.
Hide your silver.
Listen, this is a tale we told kids to make them do their homework.
If you don't, the silver ghost will find you.
We're going to be able to release this.
I mean, can you do comedy?
Can we do comedy anymore?
We're having a good time.
Is this the 80s or what?
Yeah, I mean, let's bring it back to the 80s.
I ain't fucking bitching.
Come on.
I'm a fucking cunt. Come on. A fucking cunt.
Come on.
He's fucking bronze.
Why are they talking?
Give me me a sandwich.
Got these fucking
for nooks left and right.
I look.
What's going on here?
Oh.
Okay. Okay. So the silver ghost. The silver ghost. Okay Okay so
The silver ghost
The silver ghost
Also
A little gayish right
The silver ghost
So yeah you know
He might haunt you
He may just steal your wardrobe
Yeah
He's the silver ghost
Yeah
He's either a
Weinweiner
Weinweiner
Or a silver ghost
Or a silver ghost
Whatever your preferences
Oh I forgot about this little fucker.
Oh, yes.
The Schnauzer.
The Schnauzer.
Schnauzer's a barn and stable breed from Germany.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I don't know what he does, but they come in different sizes,
miniature, standard, and giant.
I mean, what is it, a fucking iPhone?
It does, but the Schnauzer does look like the German dog who'd be like,
do you have your papers?
It's very subtle.
It's like just looking at you like, seriously,
I'm not trying to be a dick or anything.
Just do you have them?
Mr. Goldberg says, hey, you're going to Switzerland.
I don't think so.
Hans up.
Come with me, Dr. Jones.
Show me your paws, please.
You always notice the German smoke with the third finger, too.
Oh, yeah.
It's just like awkward. Yeah. Maybe where dice got it from he got it from a german dude just
we've been expecting you dr johns
the german dice clay what would we call it? Anheim Dice Clay. Yeah.
Hello, my name is Anheim Dice Clay.
What's going on here?
Seriously, what's wrong with people these days?
How can I take a redock?
The mouse won't tap the clock.
The clock strikes three, boom, is the pussy German Andrew Dice Clay
how come someone
hasn't done that character
I don't know
Jeremiah it's you bro
next episode
Jeremiah Wonder
is hosted by
Andrew
Inheim Dice Clay
ticker it
dicker it
dog
the clock went tick tick tock
I shot heroin in my vein
Some Jews got on a train
That was good off the dog right there
I did the real story
Yeah if you're doing a German rap
From the 1950s,
you're looking for something that rhymes with train.
Yeah.
And then everything else.
Everything just fills in.
Everything.
Outside of a rap.
He popped into the comedy store one night
and I had to follow him.
And he crushed and went,
like everybody was doing smaller sets.
It was like on a Monday potluck night.
So everybody's doing like eight to 10 minute sets sets he did like half an hour uh did his thing
and then i had to follow him and i went on as andrew dice gay right right after i was like hi
hickory dickory dog i'd love to suck some cocks that's amazing and i don't know if he saw it or
not i'm kind of hoping he did because he probably would have hated it yeah he's probably but it crushed i'm sure it did it was that's a great uh decision to make that's a
choice that's a strong choice to make after he goes i literally i was like this might freaking
eat it right i'm just gonna go for it and it worked it worked it worked yeah did you have
bits that you thought of before to rhyme or how long did did you do it for? No, I had the, there's a penis in the corner,
and I was like, hey, keep playing something for me,
and I was just vamping and just riffing,
and I did this Andrew Dice gay, the musical,
and I was just all over the stage.
You got a little class.
I know that right now.
I know that right now.
You refer to it as a penist.
Yeah.
Yeah, like if you would have asked me
If I was just telling the same story
I would have said
There's a guy at a piano
Right
There's a guy on the piano
Right
There's two types of people
I think in this world
People who refer to it properly
As a penis
As a penis
Which is a funny word
In and of itself
A penis
A penis
It's a penis
Or people who go
Guy on a piano
Right Guy playing the piano Right right right
Guy playing the piano
I think
I think it's more
I think I'm more trashy
I think I just
Refer to that as a penis
Because
I'm more just like
Music
Musicality
Rather than class
If that makes sense
Yes
But that's classy
A little bit
I guess so
Yeah
That's classy
Yeah
Class is nice
That's nice
Like if I was a woman And I'm looking to marry a guy I would rather marry the guy Yeah, that's classy. Class is nice. That's nice.
Like if I was a woman and I'm looking to marry a guy,
I would rather marry the guy who calls it a pianist than a guy who says, than a guy who goes, guy on a piano.
Guy on a piano.
Guy on a piano.
I mean, it's not a guy on a piano.
That's a fucking penis.
If you know how to play, you know how to play the instrument,
you deserve your own name.
Yeah.
Violinist.
They call it violinist.
Violinist, yeah.
So it shouldn't be guy on the piano. It should be a pianist. But nobody refers to it as a pianist. the instrument you deserve your own name yeah violinist they call it violinist yeah so what
it shouldn't be guy on the piano it should be a pianist but nobody refers to it as a pianist
because you don't get any fucking respect it's rare people say saxophonist they're usually like
sax man or sax yeah yeah that's one of those that's like yeah yeah i don't like that either
he deserves it yeah saxon but it's maybe it's just a hard word yeah it might be too hard yeah
because violin but violinist is long too
That's very long
But people
I think people respect violinist
Cellist
Cellist gets it
Cellist gets it
Yeah
Yeah
Atheist
Atheist gets it
Yeah
Nihilist
They get it too
Nihilist
Yeah
Pessimist
Yeah
So pianist
Yeah
Do you play piano?
I do Not great But it was something that a few years ago uh i started playing and i was taking lessons a couple years ago like
especially during the pandemic i was something i tried to get way better at and so like i know a
bunch of chords and stuff now i can fool people into making it appear that i can play all right
yeah yeah now you haven't gone full-blown rebellion
against your childhood.
You walk through the world cautiously still a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would say so.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't look at the stuff that you learned as like,
man, that's bullshit.
You go, hey, there may be something to it,
but I also want to have some fun.
Yes.
And I like to make people laugh.
Exactly.
Yeah.
That was the thing with my family.
You don't have like a fucking, you know, you don't have like a nose ring on your face with like an you know the people go
the other way and you're like that's just another religion yeah you got like an a over here upside
down cross in their chest yeah okay it's all bullshit you're going you're walking through
you still have the valley walking through the valley of the death thing i think i still have respect for
where i came from if that makes sense and that's the part of that is midwestern just roots like
kind of beat into you like you have pride from where you come from but also it's a it's a respect
and also um to still believing in parts of the the big picture if that makes sense yeah now what is
i know because i'm thinking I'm looking at you,
you're Midwestern Jeremiah Watkins.
Yeah.
It's part of your personality.
Right, right, right.
I've been in the Midwest.
The good thing about being a comedian
is we get to see other cultures.
So Midwestern people, very nice,
little passive-aggressive.
Sometimes.
Sometimes can be passive-aggressive,
but very nice.
But we'll usually tell you to your face, though,
if they have a problem with you.
In a nicer way.
In a nicer way.
What is New York Jeremiah Watkins look like?
Because I know I was watching you talk and I was going, oh, that would be me.
I would be less.
And I'd be more.
So what is a New York Jeremiah Watkins like?
I mean, if there's a New York.
I'll kick it off.
I'll just ask New York Jeremiah Watkins some questions.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
For sure, yeah, yeah.
So it's up, man.
What is, oh, that's outside.
Oh, that's outside?
Dude, don't fucking do that,
because you're giving away that you don't know that.
If you're New York Jeremiah Watkins,
you know that's the fucking ice cream man.
You know that that guy's probably
either a pedophile
and that's why he has that job.
Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Here, let me get in carry.
Let me get in carry.
Yeah, that's the fucking sound
of the ice cream guy.
Okay.
What's up, guys?
So I'm here with Jeremiah Watkins,
otherwise known as Waka Waka.
You know what I mean?
He got big first in the scenes in Bensonhurst.
Then he moved from Staten Island, came up in the rooms there, did Jersey.
He used to open for Rich Voss all the time.
He was a regular on Opie and Anthony.
He's got a show with Chris DiStefano called Ow!
You can check that podcast out on Anthony Kamiya's networks.
Give it up, everybody, for the New York comic Jeremiah Watkins.
Yeah, suck my taint.
So, Jeremiah, you came up in New York, man.
Yeah.
What's it like being a New York comic when you go to L.A.?
Like, do you like L.A.?
I like it for the bitches.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Girls are nice out there, right?
No, the comics.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, what do you, like, what's man like you came up like you know what i
mean you you did you date a lot of like puerto rican girls black girls like oh fat asses you
like in fact i love a fat ass in my cock yeah yeah yeah that's fucking great. So you grew up like, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you're one of the best physical comics out there.
Yeah, you know, the strange from New York, but yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because most New York guys are just leaning against the wall.
Yeah, that's most New York.
That's a lot of New York, yeah.
Leaning against the wall, too cool for this shit.
Leaning against the wall, yeah.
Yeah, above being there.
Yeah, what is this, a show?
Yeah, come on
I get silly
I get dumb
Yeah
I get retarded
So yeah
I mean
Coming up like
Well you grew up
I think
You're from Ridgewood Queens
Half German
Half Italian
Whatever
Yeah
Yeah
Don't tell the other side
That's a good one man Yeah Yeah yeah and half Italian, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Don't tell the other side.
That's a good one, man.
Yeah. Yeah, you had that.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I have cancer.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, I saw the bathroom.
Yeah.
Now, your first special that you put out,
fucking cancer can be bathroom. Yeah. Now, your first special that you put out, fucking cancer can be funny.
Yeah.
That was like, a lot of people thought that that was like a tour de force on like being anti-PC, you know?
Yeah, I'm a Mac guy.
Yeah, you are, right?
Yeah.
You're a what guy?
A Mac guy.
He said anti-PC.
A Mac guy?
Yeah, I'm a Mac guy.
Oh, you Mac? Like Apple. Oh, yeah. He said anti-PC. A Mac guy? Yeah, I'm a Mac guy. Oh, you Mac.
Like Apple.
Oh, yeah. He said anti-PC.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.
You fucking New York guys are quick.
I'm three steps ahead of you.
I'm three L trains ahead of you.
New York Jeremiah Watkins, everybody.
His next special is called I'm three L train stops ahead of you
And also Old York
Old York
Yeah
So that would be
That would be New York Jeremiah Walkers
Yeah
You think you'd have a different haircut
Or you think you'd stay with that
I would have a different haircut for sure
Yeah cause right now you look like
You could be in a Broadway production of Grease
For sure
With that hair
For sure
That hair can come out either moving a little bit
or gelled down going,
Why are we singing handstand?
I don't know any of the words.
All I know is that they were trying to be the Jackson 5,
but they were, were they white kids from the Midwest?
They're white kids from, I think, somewhere in the South, if I remember.
I think they're from Oklahoma or something like that. I just wanted to know if you were keeping up with hansen look it up i think oklahoma that would be hilarious if he knew
exactly where they were from and what they were doing they were all brothers right what's hansen
up to now let me guess do they have a podcast tulsa! Bro, you nailed it.
How did you know that?
I was doing...
Was Hanson the music that got you out of the church?
Did you hear Oom Bop and you were like,
I got to go live in the world?
Dad, I have to convert.
You're like, those kids are having too much fun.
I got to get out of here.
I'm tired of listening.
You raise me up.
I need to listen to
i was uh doing some shows in tulsa and i remember randomly at one of the venues that uh handsome was
about to do the same venue that i was doing and uh somebody's like oh yeah they're from here so
it's just one of those random things that I remember from years ago. I'm pretty sure they're from Toffolk.
Yeah, that's a good, if you were wondering, the brothers Hanson.
Yeah.
Because all three of them were brothers.
Yeah.
It was funny because there's a, just like also a lot of people don't know,
Kings of Leon, they're brothers and cousin.
I think they're all related.
Oh, really?
Caleb, Falwell, and.
Yeah, they're all related.
And a lot of people don't know that.
And then it's funny because there's always one...
I'm just going to talk very L.A. and honest right now.
There's always one look-challenged one
in the Brothers groups.
They try to put it out of focus slightly on the album cover.
Yeah, he's like the bassist.
The guy in Kings of Leon,
I think he's one of the guitar guys.
I think he's the first cousin.
He's not as good looking as Caleb and the lead singer guy.
And then Hanson.
Yeah, so there's...
There's always in the boy band the one who is...
Wait a second, though.
Those are the three Hanson kids now?
Yep.
I stand corrected.
Yes, you do.
The kid grew up nice because all three of them are fucking beautiful to look at.
But they're shot in black and white, so I don't know if they were at a Dave Chappelle show.
I mean, he does all his photos in black and white.
Yeah.
Like, we get it.
You're an icon.
Timeless.
Legend.
Yeah, legend.
We get it.
Everything's got to look like fucking the Honeymooners.
Historic.
Yeah.
Look at Hanson now.
Yeah, they actually kept Historic. Yeah. Look at Hanson now. Yeah, they actually,
they kept their looks.
Yeah.
It's so weird to look at that.
The young kid is a man now.
I remember that little kid.
Look at them.
They look like three girls.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah, I mean,
if that kid decided to go trans,
he wouldn't have to do much.
All he'd have to do
is block the testosterone.
I don't even think he needed estrogen
i like the cop a feel yeah i mean that one on the left the lead singer kid looks like a girl named
sarah oh for sure definitely definitely the only one that looks like a dude is the older one yeah
and that guy was just like smoking a lot of pot these kids needed puberty they needed puberty
bad to turn dude i mean it looks like the girls
album that's crazy that's i mean yeah the two of the two on the that kid was what was he three or
four or five the young one playing drums young yeah yeah now was that real or would you think
that they just set that up they'd like drum like they did melly vanilly like you think that four
year old was playing drums can a four-year-old play drums i i've seen
videos online of of little kids like that playing drums and it's pretty crazy impressive but i don't
i don't know if he was actually playing the drums in that or not did they ever do anything else
besides oom bop or did they ever explain to the people what oom bop was about right what the deep
meaning that'd be funny bop yeah if they came out now and they're like
look this is what umbop was really about yeah it was about peace between the ukraine and russia
and we were just way ahead of that way ahead of our time way ahead of our story
are we looking at moon bops meaning okay yeah family explains the meaning of their hit song i can't wait oh this
exclusive is coming in hot on long days this is guys if you have been wondering what the meaning
of oombop is uh yannis and jeremiah are here to provide it's been 20 years since hansen released
their hit oombop and people who grew up listening to the catch song have always wondered what it meant. Guess what?
No, they haven't.
Nobody's ever asked that question until this podcast or when GMA decided to fucking make it up.
Have you ever heard anyone ask you what the meaning of Mbop was?
No, not when you're in any music theory classes in any college. Today we will be going over
the meaning of the hit song
Mbop from
Handsome. It's been on all
of our minds since the 90s.
It's trampled into our ear canals.
And today we will be revealing
the true meaning.
Now we'll introduce music expert
whomever. And then there's like a whole lecture
on it.
Yeah. So a lot of people ask what Mbop means. Now we'll introduce music expert, whomever, and then there's like a whole lecture on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So a lot of people ask what umbop means, Zach says.
Well, umbop is a word.
It represents time.
Oh, does it, Zach?
Oh, yeah.
Does it?
Or is that something you made up now that you're an adult?
Umbop just sounds like fucking noises that kids make.
It represents the fact that time passes very quickly,
and so in a story about reaching for what's important and kind of driving towards the impossible dream,
Mbop is telling you, go now, go now, go now.
Because in a moment, in a Mbop, life will be over and have passed you by.
You are full of shit.
We're calling BS on you.
Get the fuck out of here.
Mbop.
There's no way when they wrote that, the passage of time.
You're seven years old.
You're a time traveler at seven?
You're able to fucking think like Henry David Thoreau at seven years old.
Get the fuck out of here.
Are you H.G. Wells?
Who are you?
Yeah.
Do you buy that for one second, Jeremiah Watkins?
There's no way, Giannis Papas.
Jesse, you buy that bullshit?
I actually do. I believe it. You believe him way, Giannis Papas. Jesse, you buy that bullshit? I actually do.
I believe it.
You believe him, kids?
I believe it.
You don't think there was like a,
they had,
it's a publicist called.
You need to have an answer ready.
You need to have an answer.
They're going to ask you what Umbop meant
because that's the only thing people could ask you.
Yeah.
People have talked about,
all they know you from is Umbop.
That's all they'll ever know you for
because you're not that musically talented
So now that you guys are adults
And you're trying to make a comeback
We need to find a new angle on Oom Bop
So what we came up with is
There's actually a meaning behind the noise of Oom Bop
I want to see a feature length movie about this
I would love to see the movie um bop
um bop and it's about the passage of time yep and so what would that movie look like to you
an um bop movie three kids three kids so it'd be a biopic i think they find a journal or like
scrolls from another uh time period where they see the words um bop carved in and they're like, that's it, that's a song.
And then as they get more famous,
demons from the past start coming
and reminding them that they've stolen,
it's stolen valor from an ancient,
like a conjuring of spirits from the past.
By ancient conjuring of spirits that they stole from,
do you mean black music?
Yes.
Got it.
Because I was thinking a different movie.
It was...
Mason Player.
Yeah.
I said, mm-bop, years ago.
Their parents go to like a club.
Yeah.
You know, to hear some music,
and they see a black band playing a song,
and the guy's going,
and he just goes,
his kids grow up and he has the idea and then he forces his kids to say,
say it.
But then the family comes after,
something like that.
Right, and then you say,
in the mirror three times
and then an old black man with sunglasses
is like,
scoom-bop, boom-bop, boom-bop.
Scoom-bop, boom-bop, boom-bop.
Doesn't it sound like a black guy scatting is like, scoom-bop, boom-bop, boom-bop. Scoom-bop, boom-bop, boom-bop,
boom-bop,
boom-bop.
Doesn't it sound like
a black guy scatting
if you really break down
the lyrics of boom-bop?
It doesn't sound like
three white kids.
Not at all.
When I first heard it,
I didn't think it was.
But that's because
they're doing black music.
It's the same thing
when I first heard
the Beastie Boys.
I thought they were black.
Same thing I thought
when I first heard
Janis Joplin.
I thought she was black because back then they didn't have the internet i was
born in the 1920s so you would hear it there was no videos or tv and shit so get this i i used to
work in morning radio in kansas city and uh i used to have no music knowledge whatsoever and they
played uh run dmc for me they're like they're like hey have you heard of this band they're
called run dmc I'm like, no.
I'm like, they sound like the Black Beastie Boys.
And I almost got fired on the spot.
There was hundreds of callers that were calling.
They were like, fire this guy.
He knows nothing about music.
And like, yeah.
Yeah, that's because the Beastie Boys got so big.
I think they were white.
It took rap to places outside of New York.
But it's funny.
That's true.
When I went to college, we didn't grow up with Scott Joplin.
I didn't know Scott.
Did I call her Scott Joplin before?
I'm fucking retarded.
Did I call her Scott Joplin before?
Janis Joplin.
You said Janis.
I said Janis.
When I first heard Janis Joplin was when I went to college.
And I thought she was black.
And when I saw her, I was surprised.
Same thing with the Beastie Boys
because we grew up here
and it was just like
all the rappers were black.
Now, that aside,
I liked where you were going.
You were writing
Mbop, a horror movie.
Yes.
So they're being haunted.
It's sort of like
you steal black music
and then the musician
that they stole it from
are haunting them.
Like the Candyman.
Yes.
So if you sing oom bop
what happens to you the jazz guy appears and he beats you up like fucking what happens i think so
i think you start having i think you're you're uh like every moment of fame that you get the weaker
on the inside you become like like Like your skyrocket to fame.
Immediately, like you get so big that you have to fall immediately,
which happened to them.
God, so it's like Dane Cook's career.
I'm just telling the truth.
No, I like it.
Would you want, dude, this is actually a good movie.
Mbop, the horror story.
Right.
Based on a couple of kids who steal the thing.
They get famous.
Kind of Stranger Things kind of vibes.
It's like people who get famous.
This is a story that happens all the time.
People get famous, but they have a dirty secret.
Yeah.
The reason why they're famous isn't true.
And in the curse,
like they're cursed,
like you'll never have another hit
if you take this from us.
Yes.
And then they're like,
we're gonna do it anyway.
So they have to,
they gotta try,
maybe they have to murder
and do things to keep the secret.
Or to keep the fame.
To keep the fame.
And they can only kill so many people for so long
and that's why they start to drop off
because the guilt starts eating away at them
The guilt
This is like based on
And I like all
Like all great fictions
It's based on something
That happens
Yeah
That's a fascinating story
That we haven't really seen
In the movies
Based on a guy
Who's like
Career's a lie
Yeah
You know
And it happens a lot of times
Where people like
Steal something
Of course
Or they tell a lie.
Or they get famous.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then that lie makes them big
and then they got to keep it going.
Stressful.
Yeah, that's stressful.
That's stress right there.
That's like, what was it?
Edgar Allen Poe's The Crow?
Where he could heal the guilt.
He could hear the...
He buried the body under the boards.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
You can still hear it.
Yeah, you can still hear it.
I want to make jokes,
but I don't want to be mean. But I want to jokes i want to make jokes i know i a lot of these people
have taken enough of a beating but i mean can't we at least make jokes like do you think steve
rennazisi you're gonna freaking say that Do you think he just hears planes crashing in his head all the time?
It's just small.
Yeah.
I'm kidding.
It's all out.
I don't even blame him, dude.
I don't even know why people are upset.
You go to LA.
You don't fucking go to LA to tell people who you really are.
You create a person.
Why are people so upset? Why are people so upset? la to tell people who you really are right you create a person you create a persona yeah why
are people so upset i create i mean i created a better version of this whole story that you were
some fucking guy from the midwest who came from the church who got out when i know you're just a
guy from new york who came up in this scene yeah who invented the stool hump and the lean wall lead wall come on get in there so you came to la you did what oh no when i when i i so i used to
go to private christmas school right growing up i when i went to public school i created the best
version of myself because i got to start over right like you have so i had like up until seventh
grade i'm like okay everything that
i've learned that best version of yourself had escaped a terrorist attack yeah imagine you're
just some savvy seven-year-old that goes through new school and he's like guys i escaped from 9-11
they're like really it becomes the fucking coolest kid in the world yeah he's gonna keep that going
yeah so you i get what you're saying though you got there and you know what i mean because these
kids didn't know you when you were picking your nose or you
were coming in your mouth.
That's one like thing about when you're starting over,
like in either a new school or a new city,
you get to decide which versions of yourself you're going to bring to the
surface and you get to bury the other parts.
So when I went to public school,
I brought out the better versions of what i've learned over the
years and stuff like that right right yeah and you know but i went to one high school where i
came in too hot my freshman year and i left the high school because i was like i i bombed really
yep wait explain to me so here's what happens how bad did you bomb oh let me tell you so up until
seventh grade i
went to one school okay is that christian school that's christian school eighth grade was my first
public school and i crushed it there made a lot of good friends i love how you're referring all
of this in comedy terms well you know he's going i bombed at this school and then i crushed it
there i just want to remind you you're at school you're not on stage yeah i don't know i was crushing i was the funny
new kid i was crushing um so then on my ninth grade year my aunt they had opened up a new school
in the district that uh that i wasn't supposed to go to is a different school that was literally
five minutes out of the way of this other school was Was it like for underprivileged kids or something because it's your aunt, she's in the church?
No, she's very liberal.
She has taught in public school for years.
She's like, hey, there's a new facility.
They've got the brand new basketball team,
all this stuff, brand new everything.
You should come over here with me.
I'll drive you to school in the morning.
You know what I mean?
I was like, oh, okay.
I checked it out.
I was like, okay, I can make new friends.
So I left the friends that I just made of that eighth grade school and i'm like i'm gonna
take what i just learned there and kill even harder at this other school dude i came in too
hot which you know i've had a tendency to to do from time to time you make strong choices i make
strong choices where either people jive with it or they're like i really don't like this guy but
that's why you do what it's great you're like only jeremiah would have gone for that right and it
worked yeah let's like your show stand up on the spot yeah which is gonna be which is already a
smash hit and it could be that show could get fucking enormous we'll see yeah i'm excited
about mark this fucking date market right here boom Boom. Put something over. I'm saying this now in January.
Where are we?
Who knows?
Who knows?
We're in May of 2022.
May 2022.
There's a real short.
Enjoy me now because I have Alzheimer's.
Enjoy me now.
I will be on the planet, but I will also not be here because I have early onset.
It's May 2022.
Yeah.
I'm saying this now.
Watch.
Stand up on the spot is just perfect.
So it's going to fucking blow.
Thanks, bro.
It's all the other stuff you're going to do it.
So you came in too hot.
What did you do?
Did you come in and say, hey, guys, I'm a Nazi.
Isn't this hilarious?
I'm a gay or evil.
You decide. You decide.
You decide.
And they went, whoa, whoa, whoa, guy.
You're the new kid.
Ease into it.
I was the new guy.
Ask them where they're from first.
Who didn't ease into it.
I went too hard in the paint.
Was trying to be too funny.
Roast people too early.
Where I came off as just obnoxious and too much.
Where I remember sitting.
It was it felt like a movie.
I was sitting at like the nerdier table at lunch and I'm like, why don't we sit over there?
They go, we can't sit over there.
What are you talking about?
I'm like, well, I'm going.
I go over there and they were like, you know, kind of cold to me.
And I went back.
I'm like, yeah, it's going to take a little while.
You went for it. Yeah, I went for it. Like like i always go for it so you were always that type of
personality yeah yeah i make strong choices but i literally i buried myself so hard in the first
uh from september to december at the at that school i came in too hot and was too like
that i was like i can't get out of this i made a horrible first impression and i went back
to the school that i was supposed to go to and all of luckily all those friends accepted me and i had
a great rest of my high school how old were you at this time i would it would have been 50 15 15
so you were just in charge of making the decisions of when you were going to go to school
like you just were calling the shots to your parents.
You're like,
I'm going to try this one out.
Now it's time to try that one out.
So luckily I have supportive parents.
Also,
they were having marital issues.
So it was one of those things where,
you know,
they're like,
Oh,
okay.
Well,
like I also,
I'm,
I'm such a,
like a committed person.
Yeah.
When I say I need to stop doing something they're like
oh okay like i told them i'm like i hate this school you're getting bullied or anything
no it wasn't bull you wanted to leave because you were bombing i did
you i mean i can't just people weren't laughing at you, so you decided I can't be educating you.
I got to get out of this demographic.
I'm trying to understand it.
So you were just like, this is a bad crowd.
Yeah.
They don't get me.
So you treated the school like it was a corporate Christmas party.
And you're like, this shit sucks.
Get the car running, Mom and Dad.
I'm going back to clubs.
Yeah.
I want to go back to the store. wow so did you leave mid-year uh mid-year and did you make one friend there who's going you're leaving you're going yeah man this fuck these people are lame there's a
they don't fucking get there were a couple of people who i made that were good friends there
that were like they're like oh man like like come on stick it out i'm like nope i know like i know
my crowd i know myself i know my crowd i know myself i know
my brand i know my brand this isn't this isn't for me man who's who would who would crush there
who would have crushed that oh at that school yeah like comic would have crushed it yeah if
you're thinking about the vibe there who would who would have been the perfect comic for that gig
since your whole life has been a fucking has been a a tour. Jeremiah Watkins has always, his life, he's been on tour.
He's like, hey guys, I got to go to school.
And your mom's like, yeah, man, I'm going to see how the crowd is.
I'll let you know.
I think D'Elia would have crushed at the school.
Okay, so you're saying it was all young girls?
You went to an all young girls school?
No, I didn't.
You said it, not me.
You keep saying different comic names and then looking over
me like jeremy how are you gonna respond no i think it was very much like um like a cool
comedian guy would have killed at this school oh i was too like like weird does that make sense
like there was a very like you were a fucking geek they were it was a wealthy school i was not
wealthy no i could see that i was yeah i was I was more weird and nerdy with my humor and stuff like that.
I was never one of the cool guys ever.
I was cool just off of making people laugh.
That was the only time I was cool.
But if any of those fucking kids decided they wanted to slapbox you,
you got long arms, you got the reach advantage, and you got balls.
Jeremiah's the guy who's got balls.
Yeah.
Jeremiah is a guy you think won't smack you upside the fucking head, but you will.
He also has a lot of repressed Christian rage, and those guys will bite you.
They will fucking, you know.
That's some truth right there, brother.
There's some truth.
That's some truth.
You have to walk around being good all the time, being good at trying to turn the other
cheek, trying to see the good in people, until you just fucking snap and eat a prostitute.
I mean, that's amazing.
That's like there's no time
that's gonna turn at any moment.
So you went back to your geeky fucking school
and became king of the dipshits.
What happens after that?
Are you crushing?
I'm crushing.
You're fucking getting puss.
The principal used to walk by me at the school because I was the news anchor of Tiger TV.
And the principal would walk by me and go, Jeremiah Watkins, the face and voice of Tiger TV.
Of Blue Valley High School.
So you were always the entertainer yes yeah yeah yeah
because you're a you're a you're a i'm a theater kid at heart you're a theater kid at heart yeah
this talent you had because you're very talented you're one of those guys that like you're talented
with your body your voices your choices you're very comedically gifted. So that was always there.
Yeah.
My parents encouraged it from a young age because I used to,
the first thing,
I used to mimic.
I used to mimic a lot.
Like I could pick up on voices
and recreate them pretty quickly
like after hearing it
like just one time kind of thing.
And with songs on the radio,
I can hear a song on the radio
and know most of the words pretty quickly.
So they encouraged you.
Yeah.
So your parents were good.
No, they were great.
They were great.
They were awesome.
So where's the darkness?
What made you want to make people laugh?
Because we're all painting over the pain.
Yeah, of course.
That's why we're painting over the pain.
So what's the darkness in the Watkins household?
Your parents encouraged you to mimic,
but then they also killed things they also there was a cheating
no i mean so i don't want to get in illegal trouble here right make it up just make it
make it up i mean what the real thing is like so they got divorced like around the time i was a
teenager they were having marital problems stuff like that that. They've had, like, you know, we've had a lot of alcohol issues in my family.
Ah!
Good old Northern European alcohol issues.
You fucking snow monkeys can't hold your liquor.
Nope.
No.
It's a problem.
And you know there's actually an anatomical reason for that.
There's a biological reason.
Really?
Yes.
There's the same reason why Asians have a harder time with it.
Native Americans can't handle it because Southern Europeans,
there's less of an incidence of alcoholism in Southern Europe
because Southern Europeans had been drinking alcohol
for a lot, lot longer than the Germanic tribes.
So they built up the tolerance and stuff like that?
Built up the tolerance.
And then you guys were these fucking tribes of wild animals up there, and we were the civilized Greeks and Romans down there, and then you guys were these fucking tribes of wild animals up there
and we were the civilized Greeks and Romans down there
and then it flipped.
At some point, you guys got your shit together
and you went a little too far.
You went a little too far.
And then you got alcohol.
That's why Russia, Sweden, Norway.
You ever go up there, England,
these vomit all over the street, these animals,
they can't hold a fucking beer.
Can't do it
Yeah, they need to smoke weed. They need really the someone needs to intervene
I wish my family would have been more pro weed back in the day
It would have solved a ton of issues. So we got some out. We got some good old northern European alcohol issues
Yeah, yeah in the in the frontier land. Yeah. Yeah, and you grew up specifically where in Kansas
Weird The frontier land. Yeah. Yeah. And you grew up specifically where? In Kansas. Kansas is weird.
Landlocked.
You guys don't see water.
Yeah, we've got some lakes here and there.
Yeah, with a lot of mosquitoes.
Mosquitoes.
Mosquitoes.
There's chiggers out in the grass that'll bite you.
What are those called?
Chiggers.
Hit that C-H hard, baby. C-H.
C-H.
Chiggers.
Chiggers.
Chiggers.
Chiggers.
Yeah, when you say that word you gotta you gotta really
emphasize the ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch
ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch
ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch you ever heard of chiggers type in chiggers on them
i'm scared what's gonna show up i know chiggers i can't believe this bug has not been renamed they're called berry bugs i've literally never heard them called berry jesus guys
we renamed the fucking cleveland indians but you're letting this bug still be called a chigger
see they're called berry bugs but oh my god and you literally you're like your
legs you'll itch for days after you get bit by these things and they live in the grass all over
kansas and missouri in the midwest this is a fucking this is like these are worse than a tick
this is like a nightmare yeah because the ticks the difference is a tick will lock in so you see it right the
chigger these are so small that it's so hard to even see they're so tiny that like you'll just
the next day after you've been playing in the lawn or in the grass or in the woods you'll just be
like oh man and they're like oh man these chiggers and you can you can't see it you can't see them
they've already left they've already bit you and sucked your blood and left. Fucking wow. Yeah.
Yeah. It's real bad there.
Wow. I had no idea they were called
berry bugs.
Wow. Three.
You gave that a three?
I gave that a three. Three.
Dude. Oh, the mic sticks.
Look at those fucking bites.
That is nasty. That's disgusting. Dude, I'm telling
you, dude, that you get like welts.
You get like welts on your leg and stuff like that.
It's gnarly.
Why doesn't everyone leave Kansas?
Dude, if I was getting bit by chiggers, I would not raise my kids here.
I'm not comfortable with this conversation, continuing to call them chiggers.
It's just way too close.
See?
Evil or gay.
Chiggers or
berry bugs.
Which one is it?
I thought you were going to another place
and thank God you went that way.
But you made the same point.
You made the same point.
Chiggers or berry bugs.
Berry bugs.
Or you could go Chiggers or berry bugs. Berry bugs. Or you could go chiggers or berry bugs.
Berry bugs.
God.
Dude, have you ever heard of chiggers?
No.
I've never heard of them.
Do they give you, like, can you get, like, blind disease?
No, no, no.
You don't get, I never got sick from it.
It's literally just, like, an annoyance, you know?'s literally just like an annoyance.
It's more like an inconvenience.
You're like, oh, man.
If you're in high brush, like in the woods and stuff like that,
you can get them all over, like little welts all over your legs and stuff like that. Okay.
I have a dangerous Google.
Let's find out why they're called chiggers.
Who named them chiggers is a reason.
Chigger warning coming up.
I've been chiggered this podcast.
Yanni made me chiggered this whole time.
I love this neighborhood because when you play in the grass,
there's no chiggers.
Is a statement you could say in Kansas that would be totally fine and understandable.
It would be factually fine and understandable.
Fine and understandable.
Okay, the term chigger is somewhat misleading because in common language,
it means a biting mite of any kind.
However, biologically, the term chigger is used to name the types of mites
that bite and cause skin irritations in their larval stage.
Okay, go down to where did chiggers originate from?
Many fly like insects of the West Indies in South America.
From the West Indies?
Possibly the Caribbean?
Or from an influence
by words from African languages
such as Wolof
and Jigga sect?
That was just an appropriate moment of silence.
We hit pause on the podcast.
I actually love that pause.
Is six-legged insect usually red or orange mite?
These things are a nightmare.
They're mites.
They're basically mites in the grass.
Wow.
Yeah, they're wood mites or grass mites.
Why are they not up here?
Intensely itchy and reddish welts. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, they're wood mites or grass mites. Why are they not up here? But yeah, intensely itchy
and reddish welts.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
But they're so tiny.
Sometimes you can see them,
but they're so tiny and red
that they blend in like,
you have to really look for them.
Yeah.
Thank God they're red.
It's so stupid.
Thank God. Oh my God, I got nervous there for a second i mean i dude this is this has been a fascinating podcast i had no idea that this was the thing yeah it's amazing i could live this
long on this planet 87 years it's a regional it's a regional thing it's a regional thing. It's a regional thing. Dude, have you talked about chiggers?
Has other people that you've met not known about chiggers?
You know, this is literally one of those conversations where...
Have you ever had it before?
I haven't had a conversation with somebody who's not from the area.
You know what I mean?
From where I grew up because I don't talk about them anymore
because I don't have to deal with them anymore. They're not in anymore because I don't have to deal with them anymore.
They're not in LA.
I don't have to deal with chiggers anymore.
Right.
I moved.
I moved away from the chiggers.
Yeah.
So there's this bite.
Let's just call it a mite.
Mites.
These mites are not in LA.
No.
They're not in the Northeast.
No.
I think it's Midwest and South.
Midwest and South.
Yeah. Where you can find these ch South. Midwest and South. Yeah.
Where you can find these chiggers.
It's amazing that if they...
I think it's because they're not known enough
that people don't have a problem with this name.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
The more we talk about it, the more I'm like,
yeah, it's odd that...
Let's look at this one.
What did Indians do for chiggers?
Go to that one.
Yeah. What did Indians do for chiggers? Go to that one. Yeah, what did Indians do for...
Indians used herbs made from plants in their respective area to deal with chiggers.
Chiggers seem to be sulfur.
Garlic is also a favorite to discourage pesky insects.
So you rub yourself in garlic, and so is bear grease.
You're not getting vampires.
You're not getting chiggers. You're not getting chiggers.
You're not getting chiggers.
Do chiggers stay in your bed?
No, they generally leave.
Chiggers come not live in your bed
because these microscopic pests
need a worm body
to have their three to four meals.
Comedy can be very fun.
Comedy can be naughty. It can be fun. It can be nice. is can be very fun comedy can be naughty it can be fun it can be nice it can be sugar it can be spice it could be spice but the intention
is always to make you laugh yeah we're here to entertain you yeah we're entertainers okay is it
hot and the only thing that could go wrong is we're at the wrong school it's the wrong crowd
wrong crowd wrong audience now when you get
back we like my people i'm back there's a couple people that were like huh you're back and you used
to just crush it to school with your nerd humor yeah and know the thing i think i appealed to i was friends with
everybody at the school that i ended up at like it didn't matter what what um you know if it was
improv people like actory types if it was the jocks if it was more nerdy people i was generally
friends with everybody and at the other school I just felt like an outcast.
I was like, oh, this is just...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, when's the Jeremiah Watkins comedy special coming out?
Are you doing one?
Yeah, I'm working on my next hour right now.
I'm locking in...
Basically, I've got like an hour and a half to hour 45 material
right now that I've been doing at the different clubs
while I've been on tour. And I'm deciding what i want to lock for this next hour so stand up on the spot
has been the priority for now um just because uh we've been releasing new episodes every like three
weeks to four weeks uh since we just have been allowed to start shooting at the store and the
next one comes out on um on monday may 23rd. But yeah, I've been releasing those.
As you know, you've seen a little bit of those.
It's a series of mini specials,
so it takes a lot of production to make those happen.
So I've been focusing on those,
but I've been touring with an hour that I really like right now
that I'm excited to put out as my next special.
Stand Up On The Spot is on your YouTube channel.
YouTube.com slash Jeremiah Watkins. Also, of course, Scissor Bros. that I'm excited to put out as my next special. Yeah. Stand Up On The Spot is on your YouTube channel.
YouTube.com slash Jeremiah Watkins.
Also, of course, Scissor Bros.
Scissor Bros.
YouTube.com slash Scissor Bros.
And Jeremiah Wonders.
Yeah.
Those are his two podcasts.
That's his show, Stand Up On The Spot.
You, my friend, are fun.
Dude, I'm not lying to you. This is one of our classics right oh no i already know that yeah oh yeah this is maybe our best step this is a instant classic i know before it even goes out
this was this episode's what they call a 10 out of 10 oh yeah baby this was fun jeremiah walkins
i wasn't lying when i texted you i said you're one of the first people I hit up as soon as I got my plane tickets locked in for New York.
Because I was like, I have to pod with Yanni when I come out.
This was a ride, baby.
This was a ride.
Go check out my episodes on Jeremiah Wonders.
They're so fun.
We have so fun.
We do characters.
It's amazing.
Jeremiah Watkins, you're so talented.
You're so funny.
You just came in here and gave us a fucking classic long day.
Go follow him if you don't already.
A lot of you probably already do.
And if you don't, you need to.
And check out Stand Up On The Spot.
Check out his two podcasts.
Go to his YouTube page.
Follow the guy.
I love you.
I love you too.
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