Yannis Pappas Hour - Comedy Stylings of Frankie Ant (Fahim Anwar)
Episode Date: February 23, 2024The hilarious Fahim Anwar is back to discuss his new special dropping on YouTube. He and Yanni go berserk on aging millennials, explore how comedy fan bases want you to reveal your political stance, a...nd they contemplate the future for Yannis & Fahim with their new comedy personas, Frankie Ant & John Pap. Join our bonus channel for our berserk and uncensored weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator See Yanni do stand up live in your town: Ticket links for his live stand up dates in your city: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/shows Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up, everybody? I don't usually endorse episodes like this, but we just had an absolutely
fantastic episode with Fahim Anwar, otherwise known as Frankie Ant. It was really one of my
favorite guest episodes I've ever done, if not favorite. You're going to love it. It really was
a lot of fun. So stick around and watch that. But first, I'm in San Diego this weekend,
Stamford, Connecticut next, March 1st and 2nd.
The Vic Theater in Chicago, March 8th.
One night, one show.
Denver, March 14th through the 16th.
Toronto show added, March 23rd.
Cleveland, March 29th and 30th.
Tulsa, April 4th, April 5th and 6th.
Kansas City, Missouri, April 11th through 13th.
Then I am in Los Angeles,
May 2nd,
at the Netflix is a Joke Festival and the Raleigh Improv
in North Carolina,
May 17th and 18th,
and also other dates
on my website,
yannispappascomedy.com.
Join our Patreon.
The reviews of our episodes,
people love them.
Ask other fans,
patreon.com slash yannispappashour. Thank you for being a fan of our episodes. People love them. Ask other fans. Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasauer.
Thank you for being a fan of this show. We appreciate you so much. Please, please,
please stick around to enjoy this fun episode.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to another, I should say, cherishable.
This is going to be a cherishable episode because we're here with the very funny Fahim Anwar.
Thank you.
Glad to be back.
Thank you.
2.0?
Wow.
Yeah.
I mean, are you the only repeat guest?
I don't know. That's up to you to know. Not me. I mean this are you the only repeat guest i don't know that's up to you to know not me i don't know you are holy shit i'm honored i think you are because sometimes
i feel bad when i'm trying to promote a thing and it's like the second time i'm like do you want to
drive me to the airport twice you know what i mean like i already cashed in the favor on the last
special and when i'm like hey can i have another Well, this is my way of saying I think the invasion of Afghanistan was a mistake.
You know, as an ambassador of the people, we forgive you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just that's a good trade off.
The 20 years boss job in Afghanistan and then promoting my special on Yannis' podcast.
That's a trade.
Hey, listen, innocent Afghani people.
Did we make good?
We had fun.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Direct your anger emails.
Direct them here, of course.
No, it's good to have you back.
Thank you, man.
Glad to be back.
Thank you for making the trek out here.
You flew all the way for this.
Just for this.
That's what you told me.
Yes.
I go, I'm coming to New York.
I only want to do this.
I'm going to do nothing else.
I'm going to stay in my hotel, stare at a wall.
Yeah.
You said I want the smallest of the ones in New York. You only want to do this. I'm going to do nothing else. I'm going to stay in my hotel and stare at a wall. Yeah, you said I want
the smallest of the ones
in New York.
No, you're up there, dude.
I'm doing okay.
It's all right.
I'll tell you,
this is one of the bigger ones
I've done since I've been out here.
Wow, you must be doing
some smallies.
I did some smallies.
I do them all.
I'm like Lil Wayne, man.
I'll feature on any track.
No ego about this.
Just trying to get the word out.
You'll throw a verse on anything. Yeah, a little scissor pin me i'll i'll hop on any pod what generation are you
millennial i guess i'm 39 so like an older millennial yeah yeah what if i'm like z
isn't it obvious yeah the z's don't care about anything, right? They're kind of like, they're kind of, they're like anarchists.
Yeah.
They grew up in a world like COVID, war, content.
They're all nihilistic.
Yeah, they're just nihilists.
They're like, whatever, man, I'll be whoever you want.
I'm going to tattoo my face to get attention, whatever it takes.
Yeah.
Yeah, at least my generation knew, keep it beneath the clothing lines.
But Gen Z's like,
I'm going to go all the way up.
Gen Z's strictly growing up
in an OnlyFans kind of world.
Here's a thought I always had.
They live in a shameless society.
They never grew up with shame.
If you have an OnlyFans
and you put like cucumbers
and your pussy on your bed and you generate a lot of income that's family yes queen like there's no
there's nothing you know what i mean it's content content content content mom wait you making you
making dinner hold up let me get my camera right you're a character in my story yeah yeah that is
interesting and you know what's crazy is they say i read an article that they they say that i think gen z and the generations following are going to live like 125 years
yeah that's a lot of content
that's a lot of content they're gonna be like 80 years old just like
like oh my god imagine having to work
at the nursing home
in the fucking future
like take your meds
like hold on
hold on
record me
hey guys
I'm about to die
I'm just doing a tutorial
POV
what it's like
when you're about to die
we're gonna have
we're gonna have
elderly influencers
yeah
who are they influencing
they're all gone
yeah right there
who are they talking to
yeah that's gonna be really when the depression sets in for gen z when they have no audience left
to consume their content when they're like when gen z and stuff gets really really old and they're
in homes and shit and they're like their families are kind of losing their minds they have to just
like humor grandpa like all right this is going out to your followers, Grandpa. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Oh, you do the dance?
Okay, all right, do the sketches?
It's uploading.
Oh, how many likes is that?
It has a lot of likes.
Oh, yeah?
How's my merch? Your merch is great.
Self-esteem really did become likes and how much attention you're getting.
People really do base their self-esteem on that.
I think maybe that is why suicides are up.
No, you're joking, but I agree, dude.
I'm an adult.
You're an adult.
We work in stand-up comedy,
and part of our jobs are cutting clips and putting them on instagram
and the algorithms change they shift like month to month and sometimes you'll be feeling you're
you're used to getting a certain number of likes and that's your barometer for like how well you're
doing and and then there might be an algorithm shift and like the ceiling is much lower and you
don't know this off the bat the algorithm is shifted and you're like do people not like my
stuff blah what's going on here and like i can parse it out i can rationalize it because i
i'm an older person yeah but if you're fucking 12 i don't know if you have the skill set you just see
you equate likes with validation and then you're at high school and people make fun you're not like
when you're young you don't think like oh's going to hurt someone's feelings and they might be
going through something.
Yeah.
So it's just like pure chaos.
It's a lot of shit.
Yeah,
it's almost like
they intentionally
crash people's confidence
in order to keep them
at the casino
because you know
when you start winning
too much at the casino
and they're like,
hey,
they cut you off.
Like,
would you like a breakfast?
They want you off the table
if you're on a hot streak
because you're winning too much.
It's almost like they do that when your algorithm gets too hot they're like no
no this isn't about you winning this is about we want you to stay at the casino how'd you like to
pay a little money to get that feeling again yeah that felt pretty good huh how about facebook ads
yeah how about boosting it a little bit and we do it yeah it's so funny like you'll post a picture
of like you and your mom or something and they they're like, want to boost this post?
You know what I mean?
They have zero discretion as to what I might want boosted.
Maybe a stand-up clip, all right,
but it's me and my brother or something at dinner.
That would be funny if I sunk like $10,000
into a picture of me and my brother at a steakhouse.
Why am I seeing this everywhere? or like 10 grand into a picture of me and my brother at like a steakhouse. Like,
why is this?
Why am I seeing this everywhere?
I'm like,
oh,
I juiced the fuck
out of that post,
dude.
It did well.
It's a great shit.
I should juice it.
It did well.
I don't even have my dates
or anything.
I'm not promoting anything
just me and my brother.
And we just have Tomahawk steak.
Yeah.
Sponsored post.
Yeah.
It's almost worth it for the mind fuck just like why is this sponsored yeah that could be like the anti-content
content is if someone's that's gonna come soon where people just start sarcastically ironically
i can't wait for that to come instagram hipsters are coming where they're gonna ironically post
shit like that.
Like, it's just me sitting here going like,
don't watch this, don't watch this.
And people are like going to watch it.
Or like you're promoting your special and shit
and then when you click on the hyperlink,
it's just you on a stage not saying anything for an hour.
But it's like nine different cameras
and there's an audience and everything.
And it's literally an hour. That would be a great
fuck you. It would.
It's coming, I think.
That's the only thing left after this.
I think the algorithm has hyped
every type of content a little bit.
And I think at some
point you go into
hating on it. At some point you go into
like, fuck this. And some sort of commentary
on what has been
yeah sort of like hey this sucks yeah and then the people who say it sucks get incentivized to
say it sucks because they get popular and then that becomes a thing and then people say that
sucks and it goes back to just like the shittiest lowbrowest and it's just the cycle circle man
it's a circle jerk of entertaining ourselves because we're bored as fuck here nobody's got
a real job anymore we're not building anything you yeah we're just we're eating hours out of people's
work days pretty much that's it it's an attention economy it's really only fans are a podcast or
clips and if you can't make those um coal mine coal mine is back and that's only if trump gets
in office he's bringing coal back if biden comes in office
it's just gonna be teaching trans kids to be safe but that that's a good lesson that's a good lesson
yeah they should be safe i think they should be safe and i think that that could be a huge market
right as the trans population grows which it is increasingly growing it's exploding it's a massive
article that just came out where they're trying to purport, they did a study
research and they said that, they did
the research and they said that the trans movement
is not growing, particularly
with male to female, particularly
with female to male, which I didn't know.
So there's not a lot of female
to male. There is, I think
there's more of everything, but the real
shoot up in this research article
that was like a science study,
which is not being well-received, as you can
maybe understand, as you
guessed, was
teenage female to male.
And I had no idea that was happening, because I've never
checked that porn.
So it's
invisible to me.
So that's growing, and they're saying that
that's growing, they think, because of social contagion and other factors but not innate transgenderism but more gender
dysmorphia due to societal pressure that's what they were theorizing and they were saying they
did it i don't know what the factors were in the study but i know it wasn't well received
sure yeah i know it wasn't well received there's like science is sort of like bits like this
study's not gonna go over well that's not gonna go i can't open with this study
yeah we're gonna like i tried this study people don't like it well there was also this it's
interesting because this happens once more on the other side too because those people like on the
left they always go like aren't you pro-science like every like unquestioned like you guys are
anti-science scientists Scientists are always right.
They have that perspective.
But then there was this economist.
Like, this guy was a genius.
This guy was, he was, I think he was like the chair of his department of economics at Harvard.
A black guy.
He was a black guy.
He admitted he did the study thinking that he was going to find that the police showed massive bias.
His name was Fryer.
Massive bias in police shootings.
And he didn't find it.
And he talks about how thorough his research was.
He did it twice because he was so shocked by the finding.
And he said, I just published it.
He said the first reaction he got from an email from another faculty member
was like, this is bullshit.
He said it's like
a 3500 page or a 1500 page study a lot of those my first reaction was when this guy emailed me in
four minutes he goes wow you can read fast because the guy wrote like this is bullshit don't publish
it and so it's like some the thing about science uh sometimes it's wrong and that's inconvenient
sometimes it's right it's inconvenient but it's inconvenient. Sometimes it's right, it's inconvenient.
But it's interesting when people don't like the scientific method
because the scientific method is to continue to question.
Yeah.
But we don't like it if it doesn't give us the answer that we like.
Well, wait, who discovered the Earth was round?
I thought it was Christopher Columbus.
That's what I was told at my white supremacist school.
At my Italian-only school.
It was, yeah, it was,
uh,
yeah,
it was,
um,
Galileo and they want to kill him.
No,
yeah,
no,
they did.
Well,
they essentially,
well,
he,
no,
what he came up with was,
um,
that the earth,
the sun revolved around the earth.
Not everything revolved around that.
And it was just that,
I mean,
you feel like the church could work with that,
but they were like, no, and they put it on like this. No, no, were like nah and they put it on like this man is an image of god and shit revolves
around us dog and so they put him in a um what did they do they they exiled him and put him in
prison or whatever and he died in prison galileo yeah do this huge breakthrough and they're like
enjoy prison yeah it's a lot of this stuff just meets resistance.
Like even this guy, Bessel,
who is talking about how much of mental health problems is trauma-based,
it's caused a revolution in mental health,
but he's faced a lot of resistance
from traditional pharmacological,
that industry and sort of the- Establishment. Yeah, well, you know, that industry and sort of the establishment.
Yeah.
Well, you know, people get used to making money in a certain way.
It's true.
The church gets used to making money a certain way.
The pharmaceutical industry gets used to making money a certain way.
You're sad.
You got low.
You got low serotonin.
Take a pill.
Right.
There's a pill for everything, man.
Yeah.
They get used to making money a certain way.
I understand. You can't just disrupt that. Yeah, they get used to making money a certain way. I understand.
You can't just disrupt that.
You can't just come along and disrupt that.
It's going to be a little bit of a bumpy road.
And shame on you for trying.
And there's a culture of therapy, which is great.
You know, like, not knocking, it's great for some people.
But, I mean, there's such a push with, like, you know, going to therapy.
And then, like, there's also been, like, prescribed for all the problems. Where sometimes maybe just, like, having systems or people you know going to therapy and then like there's also been like prescribed for all the problems where sometimes maybe just like having systems or people you talk to and
i don't know some some issues are real and you need medication and shit but sometimes people
are very quick to prescribe yeah yeah yeah they're very they're very quick to prescribe yeah yeah
well that's been sort of the that's been sort of the uh the common thinking in that field is that we had this pharmacological,
am I pronouncing that right?
Pharmacological, I think so, right?
Pharmacological, whatever.
Yeah, pharmacological or pharmacological,
something like that.
We had a drug revolution,
and that was the common thought,
was like this is a chemical problem,
and we fix it chemically.
Yeah.
And then an industry sprang up,
and drugs are very helpful.
They can be life-saving and stuff.
But now I think they're finding that
those things aren't as true as they thought
because they did studies and they found out
that even people who say they're depressed,
they check their serotonin levels,
and for a lot of them,
the serotonin levels are fine.
And sometimes they say even taking the drugs
lowers the serotonin levels.
So it's an interesting thing.
So that's where this trauma thing is coming up.
And you're saying, hey, he was a neglected kid.
Right.
You know.
Well, there's commercials on TV.
Try this, blah, blah, blah.
We're really built for consumption.
Like, we just, we're pill heads.
America is pill heads.
Yeah.
You almost can't blame, like, the opioid addicts.
It's like, they're pill heads too.
What's the difference if I'm prescribed it or not?
And you know, like psychiatrists now,
they don't even do therapy.
They're just like, what do you need?
What do you do on Zoom?
Yeah, you just go on Zoom.
This is what's going on.
Okay, here.
I put it into your pharmacy.
What is it?
I don't know.
Yeah, I'm just feeling a little.
Just take it.
Yeah, I need something to relax me.
What do you got?
Something, everyone always wants something like Xanax.
They don't give Xanax now because it's so they won't they they try to so xanax is for
what xanax is just to fucking chill you out chill you out i mean it's like what what is it primarily
prescribed for anxiety okay so xanax is really like yeah and and supposedly i've never taken
a xanax i've taken a klonopin not many but supposedly xanax is people love it i mean you hear about all the time right like especially in
rap and shit so yeah it's it's a nice name brand i suppose they like that it's got a good name to
it any yeah it's giving me i need a zanny so it makes you chill out yeah um it makes you chill
out but it's highly addictive so they really won't give it to you
um when i had when i had covet and i was like having an absolute anxiety attack i was like
please god just give me a xanax and they wouldn't give me they gave me an adivan so it's it
adivance like an iteration it's like a royal crown instead of you want to Coca-Cola? And they go, we have a... We got RC. We have RC Cola.
Yo, that'd be great to be at a restaurant.
You know what you want to drink?
I'm like, I'll have a Coke.
Is RC Cola okay?
Like, not even Pepsi?
You go, yo, how far down the Cola list are we going?
I get you want to support small, but I mean, Jesus.
Is RC Cola okay?
How does RC stay open?
Are they still around around i think they're
still doing it for them man i was surprised to find out that sneakers like brooks and the tonics
and they're still around yeah they got yo i have a feeling brooks could come back you know i thought
it was done for cheetah or or no champion champion champion was cool when i was a kid and then it was
like who gives a fuck yeah and then champion had this huge resurgence yeah i think i think people like hoisting these brands that were not cool making
them cool it goes back to that ironic young thing yeah i remember when um the guy who used to be
partners with jay-z and rockefeller he tried to bring back dave nash tried to bring back uh pro
cats didn't work though he tried though were british knights cool for a bit they were cool
for a bit yeah champion had cool for a bit, yeah.
Champion had that moment when it was not cool and then became cool.
It had that moment where you could simultaneously
see a guy, a homeless guy outside of a 7-Eleven
smoking a Newport wearing Champion
or like a famous rapper.
That should have been their commercial.
Yeah.
Just, and they go,
Champion bringing the world together.
And it's like a homeless guy,
peeing his pants, smoking, and champion sweatpants.
And then like a hype beast, Gen Z-er, vaping.
And then they're like handshaking.
They give each other a pound?
Yeah, yeah.
Champion.
They do a fist bump.
See, there's no wage gap in our country.
Champion.
Bringing the middle class back.
We clothe everyone. That would be a middle class back. We clothe everyone.
That would be a great tagline.
We clothe everyone.
Clothe everyone.
Yeah, from the lowest to the highest.
The highest culture to the lowest culture.
Be a champ.
Be a champion.
What's your favorite soda?
Do you do soda?
I try to do seltzer water with a twist of lime to trick myself into that soda feel.
I do that with like a Topo.
What's a Topo?
Oh, yeah, Topo Choco Topo.
Topo Chico.
Topo Chico, yeah.
It's like battery acid.
Yeah.
Like no other carbonated water has that burn.
You're right.
Topo is, yeah yeah it's battery acid also
i don't know what's going on with topo because he's trying this bit try to do it where i'm like
lacroix you open it it's good you have like three minutes after you open lacroix for it to be good
yeah you it's out for five minutes it's like puddle water you know what i mean yeah i go topo chico you could open it
come back to it in two weeks yeah it burns just as much as when you first opened it
what did they put in there like i feel like there's gonna be a class action lawsuit like
did you drink topo chico between the years of 2000 2010 they got me the money I deserve.
You know?
Like, how is that water burned that much after two weeks being just, like, let out?
It does have an aftertaste burn, yeah.
It has a burn, but also, normally carbonated drinks,
they become tap water if you leave them out long enough.
But Topo remains battery acid forever i think it's isn't it
from texas right i believe so yeah you know there's something in there that isn't environmentally
friendly because they don't have the laws yeah they just are fine with it they're like whatever
they throw in there it's like real gas yeah they go it's good for business. It helps our gas guys out locally. Yeah. It's owned by Coca-Cola.
Oh.
Yeah.
Well, I remember when it was like a Texas thing first,
and then they were kind of proud.
They were like, you know, Coca-Cola just bought it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like a band that got signed to a big label or something.
You know, Coca-Cola just bought Topo Chico.
These people are really proud of Topo Chico.
It's spreading now.
It's spreading now.
I got one in Florida the other day.
I got one in Atlanta.
Yeah.
Pretty nice.
Yeah.
Once they went to plastic bottles, I'm like, oh, shit.
They're on the come up.
Now they're doing mass production.
Do they do cans yet or no?
I haven't seen a can.
Yeah.
Glass bottle is still the best.
Cans right here.
Holy shit.
Coca-Cola.
Our boy's doing it.
I feel like he's a rapper who made it out like our boy topo
topo's doing it yeah they bring us up with you topo but these are like are these just water or
are they the spiked ones like it's alcohol oh that's blueberry oh they're just like hibiscus
extract because they have the the alcohol ones now right oh they're just like flavored? Hibiscus extract. Because they have the alcohol ones now, right?
Oh, they do.
Where they're just doing like truly shit.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Topo is on the come up.
Topo's on the come up, dude.
Yeah, maybe they'll get Truly Stat.
Truly dominated that market.
Is that the best one right now?
Because White Claw was the first.
Yeah.
Dude, I always thought this.
White Claw started becoming a thing, you know, very trendy.
And when I was coming up, probably when you were too, like when you were younger, Zima had a moment.
Everyone was loving Zima.
And then you got called gay.
Yeah.
That's what killed it.
You got called gay if you drank a Zima like you weren't a real man.
Yeah.
So then people stopped drinking Zima.
Like Zima went away because of that.
I swear to God.
It was like the rollerblading of drinks.
And then enough time passed where, like, White Claw came out.
And everyone is just so sexually progressive nowadays that if someone called you gay, they're like, yeah, maybe, yeah, yeah.
So White Claw was able to thrive.
So Zima, Zima, like, wore the crown.
Zima was like the Jackie Robinson
Yes
It was ahead of its time
It was like the milk
It was like snow
Like you know Informer
There's no Eminem without snow
Like the Vanilla Ice
That was really audacious
I think why guys rapping was
Look cause we grew up We're Gen X So let me tell you That was really audacious. I think white guys rapping was...
Look, because we grew up...
We're Gen X.
So let me tell you, in our generation,
you could not be white and just...
You couldn't be a stray white and come out and rap.
Bro, I think about this all the time.
You had to be co-signed, and it was still a problem,
but you had to be co-signed.
It's like, all right, dmc is bringing out beast
boys and everyone was still like and beast boys was still like we're white and we're partying
and the black guys are like it's okay yeah and they're like all right all right yeah yeah and
then third base came along and they were the first ones that were like we're acting black
but mc search could dance and he had a flat top. So people were like, is he part Dominican?
Like,
so,
but that was like a thing.
Um,
and then of course,
Vanilla Ice,
but Vanilla Ice was just made fun of by everybody.
Well,
not at first,
like,
cause he,
he popped and then,
right?
It caught up.
Like the SNL,
not the SNL,
but the,
it's still so funny.
The YouTube clip of,
uh,
Jim Carrey on In Living Color.
Yeah.
Doing Vanilla Ice. Well, he blew up, I think with the whites but i think the hip-hop community always was like against
him yeah they were always like this is pop this is not there's mc search with his flat top that's
how he came through that's a tall flat yeah and he could dance too mc search could dance he's a fat
white kid who could dance and um so they they were the first ones to like act black but it was very hard
and now you got these stray whites without fades
coming out and I'm like you don't even have a fade
like Jack Harlow just
has curls like he just looks like
he's not even trying to be hip hop
and he's just he's got his government given
name Jack Harlow
you're not ice white ice or
yeah like white cone or
snow bunny
yeah act like you want this
jack harlow you don't even have a rap name i always think about this too like eminem was a
watershed moment you know when i was growing up and i always think about how technically proficient
and talented he had to be to to break through to be given a chance it was still hard and and now
we're uh we're in this phase where like the younger people don't really care what the vessel is
of you as an artist there's this kid like uh rich brian he's an asian kid he raps people like okay
lil nas x he's gay people are rapping like they don't care yeah what your husk is yeah yeah which
is refreshing yeah which is
refreshing yeah you know what i mean where you just wanted the art to be taken for what it is
yeah whereas when we were coming up you had to look a certain you had to come you had to look
a certain way audiences weren't willing to receive you unless it came from rap came from a certain
look you had to be poor you had to you had to you had to verify your struggle. Like, even Eminem, like, I was a big part.
He's like, I'm poor.
I'm from the trailer park.
Like, you couldn't just be, like, a rich kid and be like,
I just grew up as a rap fan.
Like, Mac Miller, like, you know,
Mac Miller was another white kid who rapped,
and his dad was, like, a doctor.
And he put him in the video.
One of his videos is him rapping when he was a little kid.
He said, I just always loved rap.
Like, you couldn't do that when I was coming.
You couldn't just love rap.
And these are good rappers.
I know they have different backgrounds and stuff,
but Eminem had to be fucking amazing.
Mac Miller was great.
But now we're in this next phase of it
where now you can be like white
and just be like, oh, yeah, you know what I mean?
Like, with the sound effects and shit.
And that can still blow up.
Yes.
Whereas you could not do that in the early 2000s.
Oh, no.
You had to be like Paul Wall.
You had to be like, did you know anyone white growing up?
The people's champ.
People's judges, full grill.
Paul Wall, baby.
This is how it is.
Yeah.
Hooked it up like a mailman.
Now Jack Harlow gives interviews.
He's like, hey, my name is Jack.
How are you?
And you're like, you're a rapper?
Yeah, that'd be funny.
Like when he does acting jobs, he's like, hey, my name is Jack. How are you? And you're like, you're a rapper? Yeah, that'd be funny. When he does acting jobs, he's like,
the shoot was fantastic.
And then he's promoting an album.
He's like, you know,
we do something different on this album.
We got a lot of producers in the house.
When he's doing rom-coms, he's like,
don't, don't leave.
Don't get on that plane.
Did you grow up loving hip hop?
Yeah, man.
I was just doing this other podcast
that they mentioned,
because I'm from Seattle.
They're like, oh, Nirvana was going on at that time were you into that i go it was
happening around me that was like the craze but i always loved gangster rap yeah so like dr dre
because that was happening at the same time uh dog food by the dog pound warren g nate dog
snoop dog doggy Style that was like my shit
and then Bone Thugs
and then Biggie and that whole Bad Boy
and Death Row Records, that was my shit
so Nirvana I have an appreciation for it
but it doesn't like speak to me
why are you such a real guy?
what do you mean?
you're just like a real good guy
yeah is that bad?
it's a really good thing
I guess.
There's no pretension.
You're just like a you are you.
I love it.
Isn't that refreshing?
This is the second time we run it back and pretend
like it's just... I mean, we can
let them know. You might be wondering why
I'm in a different position
than before the edit.
Well, I moved the mic, which I didn't know was a faux pas.
And I think they have faulty equipment that I wasn't supposed to know about.
Well, you are on a massive podcast.
I'm on a massive pod.
That's how we can, that can be a shtick on the pod.
It's like, come, and it's like, if you touch the mic, you lose.
Holy shit.
It's just over?
Yeah, it's just over.
As soon as you touch the mic, it's like, ah, you lost.
Sorry, that's part of it.
Yeah, we'll call it
the mic touch or something.
It's like a game show also.
I've been here five minutes.
Yeah, and then a clown comes out.
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
Yeah, so I accidentally
touched the mic.
The audio went away,
but now it's back.
No, you're refreshingly talented,
smart, and also just real.
You're like a real guy.
There's no pretension about you.
You're, you know, a real guy. There's no pretension about you. You're,
you know,
there's a,
you know,
it requires a lot of pretension to get very popular sometimes.
I guess.
I mean,
maybe I could be further
if I had some of these
negative qualities.
Well,
I think the same thing
about myself all the time.
Yeah.
I think about,
I really do.
I do too, man.
Yeah.
I was just on the phone
with a management company.
I'm saying,
which, tell me how to, which, you know,. I do too, man. I was just on the phone with a management company. I'm saying, which fake, tell me how to,
because I'll do one thing, people love me for it,
and then I'll say something the next week,
and those people that love me for that
will hate me for the thing that I said next.
Dude, I think about this all the time.
I'm just dictated by jokes.
I love jokes, and I'll think of an idea and a joke,
and then I say it.
And wherever I land with the joke, I don't,
I don't really care about wherever it is politically. You know what I mean? I have
jokes that make me look left. I have jokes that make me look right. And so be it. It's to serve
the joke. But some people think that, that I'm like Tucker Carlson and a standup comedian rolled
into one or something. Like I'm a pundit and a comedian. Like, no, I'm a jester.
Like, I'm married to the game.
Like, I'm married to the joke.
I'm not trying to dispense
with some political ideology on stage.
I'm just, like, a clown.
That's exactly how I approach it.
What happened?
Why do people, like, yeah,
like, why do people assign you these things?
We talked about it extensively.
I'll just do it quick so I don't make it a big thing again.
But I posted this thing about Jon Stewart.
And we both agreed, and so did the people who liked it,
that it was a funny rant where I said he was liberal comedy Rambo
and he was getting called by the establishment to be like,
we need you.
And he was like, oh, that's not my game anymore.
I just take care of orphan animals
because, you know, he's got like a orphan farm.
And then, you know, he gets back,
you know, he starts reading,
offing the post, getting it strong now.
Like on a mountain, just reading the news.
Yeah, yeah.
Nothing about it was shitting on Jon Stewart.
I love Jon Stewart.
I love Jon Stewart, yeah.
So nothing about it was shitting on Jon Stewart.
I was actually making fun of sort of the, you know,
if anything, I'm making fun of the left,
going like they need Jon to come back.
But these comments were going like fucking railing against me,
like that I was shitting on Jon Stewart,
like they were coming to his defense.
And we went over the clip and we watched it and we're like,
I'm not shitting on Jon Stewart at all.
Like where are they picking this up?
Where are they picking that up yeah so it's it made me think that instance is sort of a
microcosm for what we're talking about here an example for what we're talking about i should say
because that seems to be the norm now it's like people hear a thing and they it seems that so
much of your comedy audience now and i don't mean this lightly comes from where your slant is like the audience is expecting you to either be like you're totally over here pro vax yeah all this or like you're
like right you know it doesn't and they need and if you're not right then they just won't think
you're funny even if you are bro i know you mean yeah i think uh there's a larger percentage of
demographics when you play that game like if you are the right guy there's a larger percentage of demographics when you play that game.
If you are the right guy, there's a large swath of people like that.
If you are the left guy, it's just sort of like a turnkey audience situation
with a large demo like that.
But I just like jokes, you know?
Well, that's what everyone should be.
In theory, that's what it should be, yeah. But I just have to realize that the ceiling is lower with people who just like jokes.
Sometimes I'll do a joke, and if it's political or whatever, it's just for the sake of the joke.
I don't really have an axe to grind either way.
And someone might get offended.
I wanted to do a bit one time.
So, like, I mean, this is a story.
Did I fuck it up, or is it okay with the mic? Now I'm super tense.. So like, I mean, this is a story. This really, did I fuck it up or is it okay? The mic.
Now I'm super tense.
I'm like, did the wind.
I was doing La Jolla Comedy Store.
And then I had, show was going great.
Everyone's loving the show.
I'm like 30 minutes into it.
And then I just do this one joke.
It's like a Trump joke.
It's not even that bad.
It's more absurd than it is a political angle.
And he had just gotten elected.
You know, I go, it feels weird to say Trump is our president, right?
It just feels weird.
It's like saying Hulk Hogan is my lawyer.
That's all I said.
It's like nothing but this old white lady in the back of the room stands up and she starts like yelling at me.
She's like, he's un-American.
Get him off stage.
He's un-American.
And everyone's like, shut up, lady, blah shut up lady blah blah so this old lady gets bounced
they leave and everything and for me i'm like this is so odd some people politics whatever like that
was such an overreaction to what i said oh my god that like manchurian candidated her and scrambled
her fucking brain she was enjoying herself the entire show. And then I just, I barely touch her God.
And then she stands up and starts yelling this.
He's un-American.
Get him off the stage.
And then to me,
I'm just like,
I don't mind that.
Like that I'm filtering.
I want people who are more passionate about jokes than politics.
Here's what scares me about the whole thing is it has the whiff of something that's very
un-American.
What?
This, the way people get outraged about like a joke like that.
You start to see people start to worship people as opposed to like remembering that it's a
system and part of that system is they work for us and we make fun of them all the time.
It's starting to have that
we're ready for a dictator type of feel
when people's sensibility changes from like,
what are the issues?
What are the politics?
Fuck all those guys.
Bro, you know you don't hear anymore?
No, you never hear?
Well, I agree.
Let's agree to disagree.
Yeah.
Never.
It's like, I will fucking destroy your family.
Yeah.
I'll end your bloodline.
Yeah.
There is no, well, we don't see eye to eye on this, but, you know, I still like you as
a person.
You still want to come over to dinner.
It's like, no.
Yeah.
I don't want you associating with these people.
Yeah.
Fuck them.
It's like a lot of people, especially the Trump fans are like, they start, they view
him as sort of like this savior type figure who's going to come in and fulfill everything that they want.
And he sort of has this sort of like,
you know, cult of personality kind of following
that other politicians,
like all the politicians before him,
it was just like, everyone made fun of him.
He's a president.
It's part of it.
It's like you're making fun of a celebrity.
It's like, that's what we do.
It's not because of the politics, it's because he's up there in It's like that's what we do. It's not because of the politics,
it's because he's up there in power,
and that's what we do.
We make fun of people in power.
And it was such a silly joke.
It wasn't like,
you see what Trump is doing?
I'm not even bashing the guy.
It's just like,
yeah, it is Trump.
He was on The Apprentice and stuff.
It is interesting to say.
Yeah, yeah.
He is the president, I agree.
It's a funny, light joke.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then that fucking enraged her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a perfect example of what I'm saying is like,
and it just feels like a lot of people now get their fan base through their
political slant.
And I think that's jaded a lot of comedians into,
you know,
sort of leaning into that and sort of.
Well,
it's rewarding behavior,
you know,
it's interesting seeing sort of like algorithm people or artists kind of leaning into what the algorithm is promoting so that's one of them you know because
everything is so divisive with politics why wouldn't you it's kind of a fast track to garner
an audience and right because i mean honestly more people like politics than jokes do you think some
of that has to do with the internet and how it made politics accessible to everybody?
Because I have this joke where I talk about like, Jesus Christ, is it fun being a kid anymore?
Like when we were kids, it was like, you want to smell my fingers?
We didn't even know what was going on in local news.
Now you're in like a 13-year-old party.
Everyone's like, what are we going to do about this Palestinian-Israel issue?
You're like, you're 13.
Go to bed.
They're in their jammies.
You're 12. Go to bed. Even we're not do about this Palestinian-Israel issue? You're like, you're 13. Go to bed. They're in their jammies. You're 12.
Go to bed.
Even we're not talking about this right now.
I liked him until I found out what his stance in the Ukraine is.
I had a crush on him until then.
Like they're just all,
like kids are now knowing about things
that they shouldn't know about or care about
at such a young age,
but they're just,
the algorithm's showing it. It's showing to tiktok and like their little brains are still
they're plugged into it dude when we were kids i could not tell you who the mayor was for half my
life of my own city i still can't yeah let alone i did not understand a thing about politics till
i was like 29 yeah i know dude whereas now you can't do that
because the social currency is being in the know and being on the right side yeah yeah that's got
to be causing some sort of uh brain scrambling of some sort yeah it's got to be like you shouldn't
be you shouldn't be that invested at that age to to things happening in the world because the world's
a very messy place it's hard to parse out i don. Yeah. You think you can solve it when you're young,
but then you get older and you're like,
that's a little more nuanced.
The thing about us, too,
is we're in between generations.
It's an interesting-
We're the blade.
We're like-
The blade of people.
We got one foot in that world
and then one foot we remember-
Bro.
We're a little more local.
I remember when I had to plug a phone line
to get into the internet, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
I wasn't grabbing data out of the sky.
Yeah. I wasn't grabbing Drake's album
Out of the fucking Sky.
I'd ride my bike to Circuit City.
My friend would be on my pegs.
What's going on with Lance?
Oh, Lance, man.
Are you still going up on stage as Lance?
It's been a minute.
I was for a little bit.
I brought him back to the store.
He's in the hopper, you know?
It's like a
tarp he's my ferrari that i take yeah yeah do i want to take lance out for a ride now do you do
you have you just buckle the hair on i have yeah it's a weave so i just snap it in it's a mullet
i got a wife beater jean jacket you know i used to do just straight up wife beater yeah when i was
a little younger and like the jean the jean jacket
the jean jacket hides it's a nice silhouette you know yeah uh once i get back into the you know
once i get it nice and tight it'll be wife beater all over again i'll logan it yeah and it's just
fun it's insanity just dancing till when you go up do do people in the crowd sometimes think that
that's the they don't if they don't you, and they just think it's a dude?
I've had,
there are people who are like fans,
I've had this happen where like,
they're fans of mine,
you know?
Yeah.
And then,
I do Lance,
and they still didn't piece it together.
They thought it was,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
So,
it's kind of amazing what a mullet,
and a wife beater can do.
And an accent. And an accent.
And an accent.
And a different vibe.
I mean, you know this too.
Your character work is great as well.
Thank you.
Yeah, so it's kind of neat.
I love that.
It is cool.
Part of me goes like, how stupid are you?
Part of me goes like, are you stupid?
But then I go like, maybe it's a compliment to me.
I think so.
I think it's a different vibe.
Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
And it's a fun mental vacation
for you as an artist as well right that's the best because when you're doing bits and stuff and i'm
the same way i'm like okay i'm working on this chunk how does this go into the app blah it's a
lot of mental energy that before i go on and stuff and maybe like earlier in the day like what i want
to do when i know i'm doing lance because it's not bits I just gotta show up yeah all I gotta do is
be the guy
yeah
because he just does Q&A
he's like anybody
have any questions for me
yeah
just like shout it out
yeah
and then it's just like
fucking riffing
yeah
and it's the best
for like 15 minutes
and what happens happens
and there are times
when it's fucking
lightning in a bottle
there are times
when it's kind of like
medium
yeah
there are times
when it's whatever
but like they're all as a whole it's all amazing when it's kind of like medium there are times when it's whatever but like
they're all you they're all as a whole it's all amazing because it's different it's a snowflake
and it's real and it's so different than what they've seen the whole night yeah yeah and so
much more yeah so much of the comedy comes from just who the person is yes you don't even have
to really have jokes prepared it's like the the character totally and it's almost like that rule
of improv where whatever whatever your thought is in the moment is the right and it's almost like that rule of improv where whatever whatever your thought
is in the moment is the right answer it's not let me let me try to think what the funniest thing to
say is it's just like being in the moment and responding like what the person would yeah yeah
yeah so that's that's fun where oh i can turn my brain off yeah and be someone else and it is a
nice vacation yeah it's just like skydiving alright let's just
fucking show up
let's dance
and then
and the dancing
really sets the tone
because they play club music
and then Lance just like
dances for a minute
and they do strobe lights
and shit
and they've been watching
like some high level comedy
and like people making
some great political points
and these sophisticated jokes
and then I come out
in a white beater
and I'm fucking
just like pelvic you
know what i mean yeah it's just the dumbest shit it really sets the tone that like oh you're not
getting anything of substance for the next 15 minutes which is nice a lot of time oh yeah it's
why people watch real housewives it's why people watch you know it's just when people have high
level jobs and shit you always hear like oh i like watching 90 day fiance i like watching trash tv yeah i don't want to watch mind hunter after being in
the hospital you know or like working on patients yeah i want to watch mind hunter though i love that
shit yeah it's horrible when you're a comedian because you want to get away from comedy when
you're not i don't watch any comedy i don't watch any either i love dramas yeah i think that i should
watch more it's good to laugh too you You know, I started watching Righteous Gemstones.
What's that?
I love it.
It's on HBO.
It's that Danny McBride Preacher Family one.
John Goodman's in it.
It's really funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Succession was my favorite comedy.
I know it's like a hybrid, but like my favorite comedy is shit that is played real and has
these like real life.
Yeah.
Like real life isn't slapstick fucking.
Yeah.
A lot of American straight up comedies are just too wacky.
Sopranos has a lot of comedy.
Sopranos is so fucking funny, dude.
It has a lot of comedy.
Yeah.
I'm re-watching it now and there's just some funny,
it has some funny moments.
And the comedy hits even harder because you're not primed for it.
Yeah.
And that's how life is that's how real
comedy is did you ever think about how strange it is possibly even ironic that you were uh studying
to work on planes and then now you just fly on them as a career i think i think about that all
the time when i'm sitting away from planes i can't get away from planes. I can't get away from planes, dude. I tried to book this whole tour via train, but they don't go everywhere.
I told my people, I go, come on.
What do you mean it doesn't go to Miami?
If you didn't know what I was talking about,
you were studying.
Yeah, so I studied mechanical engineering,
but then I got a job at Boeing Aerospace in Long Beach,
so I was working there for like three to four years when you get on planes are you feel more safe because you know
more about it i just knock it i go okay before we fly i go we're safe guys i just shake the seat
i go it's cool i used to work at Boeing.
That would be a funny character, though.
This is what the guy used to work on planes.
Just a guy.
Plane's going down.
He's like, it's okay.
Like, instead of, is there a doctor at the house?
The plane, it's like falling.
Everyone's going to die, pretty much.
Everyone's freaking out.
You're like, it's okay.
I used to work at Boeing. I'm an engineer.. Everyone's going to die pretty much. Everyone's freaking out. You're like, it's okay. It's okay.
I used to work at Boeing.
I'm an engineer.
And everyone's going to die anyways.
You wanted that little moment of glory before you die.
You're not even standing on the plane.
You're floating because you're just like, it's okay, everybody.
I'm an engineer.
Does anybody have a calculator?
And then you go into a mountain.
Yeah.
You're like, somebody just get me to a control paddle.
You're just flying off the ceiling.
Yeah.
Push me.
And there's a hammer.
I'm like.
Every plane goes down.
But there is that little glimmer of hope.
That I could have saved it.
That you could have saved it.
Have you had that happen on a plane?
That's happened to me before.
Where they go, is anybody a doctor?
Everyone's so nervous.
And it's scary.
It's scary. The worst part is if somebody dies, you just got to continue to ride with the corpse. And they go, is anybody a doctor? Everyone's so nervous. It's scary. It's scary.
The worst part is if somebody dies,
you just got to continue to ride with the corpse.
And they're just in the aisle.
Do they just run the beverage cart over them?
Do they throw a sheet over them if they die?
That'd be nice if they did.
That'd be nice if they did. It'd be funny if they didn't, though.
You just have to look at them.
Yo, yo.
He's in first class.
And the first class
people complain
so they just drag his body to economy
you have to deal with them now
just drag him back
can you at least close his eyelids
yeah Can you at least close his eyelids?
Yeah.
Dude, that would be an issue if you're going internationally, he dies over the water, you just
gotta do another four hours with a corpse?
And then they still gotta serve drinks!
So they go, like, they have to
ask the people next to you, like, do you want anything to drink?
And they just, maybe the stewardess
out of routine
Goes oh yeah you're dead
And then someone's like
Can I have his penis
He's not around anymore
Or if they don't want to scare the kids
They put a Pepsi on his
Yo
They put sunglasses on him
They like weekend at Bernie's?
He's just holding the Pepsi for four hours.
He's sleeping for a
long time, mommy.
Yeah, he's really tired.
Little kids
sit next to him. You know how little kids sometimes
kick you when they're moving?
You know, I've always thought whenever they do that whole ah does anyone hear a doctor
pardon me i mean you never think about like jumping off a building like you're not really
going to do it but you're like you just have a thought does nobody else have this you're
like a really i mean oh raising your hand going i am yeah yeah yeah just going like that's naughty
that's real naughty yeah because you would here's's the thing about it. If you raised your hand, you would get to feel like such a hero
for that walk up to the person.
And you would just really savor that before you got to the person
and go, I don't know what I'm doing, or I'm not a doctor.
Yeah, that walk would feel really good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So there's everybody here a doctor, and you go, unbuckle,
because you're God, pretty much, for the entire walk up to the at doctor and you go, you unbuckle because you're God pretty much
for the entire walk up to the person.
And you know,
if you're doing it only to savor the walk,
you're really like,
I'm going to pat people on the shoulder
as I'm walking by.
Shake some hands.
Shake some hands.
Give your number out to some people.
Yeah.
And then when you kneel down.
Rub a young kid's head as I walk by.
Good luck.
How much bullshit doctor stuff
could you do
before you think before you you think
they realize you don't know what you're doing you can like check the airway yeah yeah you can like
maybe you could fake the whole thing you can like put your fingers in the mouth a little bit maybe
like rub the ear and then maybe do that yeah and then like you have a phone light and then look
into the eyes you could do a cough for me cough for me cough me. Cough for me. Cough for me. Yeah.
Yeah, what else?
Turn them on their side.
Well, I would lift one leg.
I'd just take one leg and I'd lift it like that.
I'd go like that.
Okay, looks good.
You go, mm, I don't like that.
Yeah, that's that.
Mm, something's up.
You go, mm, I'll need a Tito's and soda.
I don't know why.
Yeah.
My diagnosis would be like,
we're going to have to land this plane He needs further help
That's what I would say
That's upper management stuff
I don't have my tools
You would remedy the situation
But you don't have the tools
And to make it even more believable
I'd ask
Does anyone have a stethoscope
I forgot I'm the doctor
Does anyone have a stethoscope no i forgot i'm the doctor i don't have mine yeah does anyone have
a surgeon scalpel yeah does anyone have an operating room on this plane and we need to land
this bird i've done all i can does anyone have a catheter this guy's having a heart attack he goes
i do and he just pulls it out and then you'll be in trouble you're like oh yeah yeah they should
also like when a guy is full-blown looking like he's close,
instead of asking, is there a doctor,
I think brave stewardess should make the call and say,
is there a priest on this plane?
Holy shit, man.
Yeah, like, just go like, this guy's too far gone.
Yeah.
What if...
Give a guy a prayer moment.
He doesn't even know, though.
Because what if you call for a doctor and he dies
and the guy has a fucking awful last moment
because the nurse is trying to save a guy who can't be saved? that's what if that's how you find out it's that bad you know
you think you're gonna make it and they're gonna call for a doctor it's anybody here priest right
i'm dying yeah you just have like a sore knee
damn yeah is there anyone here a social worker and someone just come and be like it's good i don't know what are you
let me check your medications yeah you just it's either a doctor or a priest or just let the guy
die in peace my dad's friend died on a plane really yeah in his seat i hope he was in first
you don't want to go out and coach no if you're gonna go on a plane you don't want to go and coach
or a middle seat you don't not at all no coach or a middle seat. You don't. Not at all.
No.
Whenever I do Southwest, I always get boarding group C,
and that's just the worst.
It's middle seat.
It's pretty much middle seat.
Yeah.
Why are you doing middle seat, man?
I don't want to, but I guess I'm cheap,
and then that's why it was cheap.
I do that too.
If anything's under five hours, I'll try to get a mile. That's a good rule of thumb yeah it's like short enough i feel like i can do it if it's west coast i flirt with the first class
but then i see the price and i go could i exist on an exit row aisle seat i think i could exit row
aisle seat is a is a hack it's a hack it's the poor person's first class yeah they give you the
speech and you lie. Right.
What is the point of the speech?
Yes, I will.
And you don't even know what she's asking.
She goes, will you exist?
You just, yes.
I don't know what you're asking.
They go, in the event of a water landing, will you cooperate?
And I was like, yeah.
And then she was like, I need a yes.
They do do that, yeah.
Because I said, yeah.
And then she's like, I need a yes.
I guess legally they need yes.
And then my joke was like, how long would this go on for?
If I was like, yep.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, sir.
Si.
Si.
Would the feds take me off the plane if I just didn't verbally respond to the yes?
Yeah.
What if you're deaf?
What do you do?
Yeah.
Also, it's like, what's a water landing?
That's the nicest way you could put that, too.
A water landing.
I mean, you're talking about death?
I always love when they kid gloves these terrifying terms.
Yeah.
Like, turbulence is pretty, it's scary.
Yeah. And they call it bumpy air now. Yeah oh that's cute yeah this is bumpy air oh it's cute
i was terrified my life was flashing before my eyes but it's it's bumpy air now i don't want you
to break my sense of safety but i heard that turbulence isn't a threat because the planes
are designed to take that oh yeah man yeah yeah so that's so when we were designing planes at boeing
like so you have the wireframe of the plane you know like the new one that you're you're doing
it's sort of like you know there's a toyota corolla yeah and they update it every couple
years that's how it is at planes the 747 is a line of plane and every couple of years they upgrade it so they make
it a little longer they make it carry more cargo for like fedex or ups and so they you have this
wire frame of the the plane and and they have load cases so like the type of loads and stresses that
a plane would see so you have the load case when the plane takes off the load case when the plane
lands a load case when it banks left when the load case when the plane lands a load case
when it banks left when there's a thunderstorm there's like thousands of load cases for the
types of stress that a plane sees so you you shoot those loads into this wire like so many like
simulations and analysis so so when you're designing a plane all that's taken into consideration thank
god so whatever turbulence you're seeing is a fraction
of what it's designed for right and it's usually like a safety factor of two around two which is
like two times oh thank god yeah so really the only uh threat is if uh the pilot's having a bad
day there's that yeah we there's no load case for that so if a guy wants to do that yeah yeah
you just gotta really how do you screen that uh be nice going
good be nice to your pilots yeah that's always this you just want to make sure that guy's happy
oh yeah dude i mean bring them cupcakes and shit everyone's got it has bad days
right you know yeah that's scary would Would you fly an AI-powered plane?
Like an autopilot?
You would wait a while, right?
I'd wait a while, yeah.
What if the AI was like,
I can't take it anymore?
No!
Wait, I didn't know you were designing that. I'm not even human.
This is all I do.
Life's not worth living.
It becomes sentient.
Yeah.
I've been talking to GMGBT.
What am I?
Just gets conscious mid-flight.
Oh, my God.
It's an existentialist crisis.
You get conscious when you land.
So there's a little risk when you take off,
a little risk when you land.
But when you're in the sky, you're pretty good.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
Because all the crashes happen in takeoff and landings, right?
I think most of them.
That's where the most problems can happen.
Yeah, yeah.
People have such a fear of flying,
but you're much safer in a plane statistically
than you are just even on the show right now.
It's true.
It's like an asteroid just fucking takes it,
or a plane actually lands, like ironically.
Yeah, this is like, yeah, it's pretty safe.
It just shows you it's like this people need this
sense of control or something well i think it's people think about trying to survive a plane crash
you've heard of more people surviving a car crash right than a plane crash right so the odds of you
actually having a plane crash are way smaller than a car crash but like in our monkey brains we're
like oh i'll bounce back from a car crash.
I don't think there's a lot of people who are like,
whoa, I got T-boned in the plane.
My neck's a little cricked.
But the problem is when people have car crashes,
there's a lot of bad outcomes.
A lot of people die in car crashes.
You're actually not safe in a car.
That thing is not designed. You have a frame of reference of Little Fender.
You've had enough tiny car crashes
where you don't equate it to a drunk driver going 120. a frame of reference of like little fender but you've had enough like tiny car crashes yeah where
you don't equate it to a drunk driver going 120 yeah just evaporating a miata that's right yeah
yeah that's right it's uh it's sort of like a mental trick yes because it has no it's not based
in reality it's sort of like when you were a kid and you thought that if the elevator cable snapped and you were plummeting 100 feet,
you would just jump before the elevator hit the ground.
Yeah.
And you would land like Blade.
Yeah.
You go, this is my foolproof survival strategy.
Me and Jesse were talking in our previous episode
about how you have to govern
with sort of the loopholes in our brain in mind and the stupidest people
in our society you have to take care of those people it's like you need prescriptions for pills
you need a tsa because one guy got on the it's like yeah you know it's just the you can that
lean left makes sense to me it just goes like you, you need regulation. You can't, you have to govern
for the stupidest.
It's almost like,
you know,
it's almost like the military,
like no man,
no man left behind.
Yeah.
It's good enough for that,
but it should be good enough
for society as well.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
Yes, it should be.
No man left behind.
The same is true
of like idiots and people who.
And we already do that
in a lot of scenarios.
The TSA, most people are not going to try to hijack the plane yeah speak for yourself
speak for yourself bro i'm just biding my time dude if i can't if you fly you see tsa you're
like damn it if this joke makes it harder for me to fly for i'm gonna be so pissed i so did not
need to do that right if this adds an hour
to all my fucking flights
from now on
I'm gonna be so pissed
cause your background too
that doesn't help
yeah
fuck
I just won't go like this
I'll just
how's your day going
fantastic
ah you know
just American and shit
sometimes when I do
I mean I had this joke
where I'm like
Hemanoir
it's an Arabic name
it's Arabic for
he who will be
secondary screened
you know
but when I'm getting like little
it doesn't happen that much anymore
but when I'm getting
pat down and randomly selected and all that shit
I just wanted to rattle off
just pop culture
because I was born here
I grew up a boy meets world
Topango was cory's girlfriend
just read like wilson was the neighbor like how would i know all this stuff if i was a terrorist
you know what i mean just expedite the process unless you were a really good one and you studied
no no terrorist studies that much that's true yeah they don't study they'll just go uh laverne
and shirley right it's like not even current uhonzie Mork and Mindy Price is right
Price is right
Bob Barker
Not even Drew Carey
Ronald Reagan
Yeah
But I've got pre now
It's not that bad
Do you get
Do you feel like you get
Profile
Yeah
Not really
I'm kind of ambiguous
You know
I feel like people
Don't really know what I am
But I think
As long as I think about My trajectory in Hollywood And shit Yeah If I had just had not really i'm kind of ambiguous you know i feel like people don't really know what i am but i think
as long as i think about my trajectory in hollywood and yeah if i had just had like a more american name yeah i think things might would have been to be a little easier or faster instead
of what yes because for human war is just sort of it's like different but like what is it right and
then you know as you get older you just realize you're a little more of an idealist when you're a younger artist you just think people like good they don't care
about you don't think about like marketing or demographics and shit and like how large is the
demo that you're speaking to or whatever you just think about like comedy we just love jokes you
just love jokes and you think like oh people will just, like good jokes will resonate. People will like that.
But then you get older and you kind of realize demographics are a real thing.
Like black people is a big demographic.
Mexican is a large demographic.
Indian people is a large demographic.
Chinese people is a large demographic, you know?
White is a large demographic.
There's money there.
And then Fiji, Manoa is kind of like,
I think the lowest minority you can get and still
have a large enough demo to kind of rocket your career a little bit is like maybe persian yeah
i'm trying to think what's below persian like filipino is still pretty big filipino is big
yeah filipino is a lot of filipinos yeah yeah not a lot of greeks we have a lot in common not a lot
of afghanis not a lot there's like three million greeks in the whole country right and i did the
same thing yannis pappas maybe I should have went with John Pip.
Maybe.
John Pappas.
It's an interesting thought experiment.
Fahim.
Not even Fahim.
I would be like Joe Smith or,
you know,
let me Matt Reif it,
bro.
Why am I even trying to,
I would just go Joe Smith.
And cause there is,
uh,
it's almost like mad men and stuff and like advertising.
People are so busy and shit,
you kind of have to package everything,
spoon feed it.
Let's change our names now.
Let's change it now.
Yeah, man.
I'm John Papp.
I'll be John Papp from this moment out.
John Papp.
Is that good?
That's pretty good.
John Papp.
Let's see.
What's good for me?
The Papp really makes yours pop.
Yeah, John Papp. It's different. this is we're going we're veering off course maybe in the holiday season that'll be good for
like frankie how about oh yeah frankie instead of frankie ant frankie ant frankie ant there you go
bro i'm here with Frankie Ant.
Hey, guys.
Yeah, he is.
And I have like an earring.
I'm like a Gen Z kid.
He's an Italian kid from Ohio.
You know, I talk about my family and stuff.
And, you know, my mom makes the best pasta sauce.
And she's always on my case.
She's like, when you can't get married.
I'm like, Mom.
Fucking, you have these moms.
They want you to get married and shit, but you're too busy getting your dick sucked.
I'm going to trade that to get my dick sucked by one woman.
You don't want to suck my dick on my birthday.
I go to Cheesecake Factory, get a cake, and then I get my dick sucked once a year.
I do that every day right now.
Hey, you guys have been great. I'm Frankie
This clip gets more views than any of my specials ever Frankie my agency is like
Do you have Frankie Ant's touring schedule? My agency is trying to get me to pivot into Frankie Ant.
You can open for Sebastian Maniscalco.
Yeah, Frankie Ant, come to the stage.
Yo, this next guy has been an idol to me.
He taught me everything I know.
Give it up for Sebastian Maniscalco.
Give it up for Frankie, everybody.
This is the next generation.
Hey, God bless you, Christ.
It's like I even just renounced Islam just to do this.
God.
Do you think it's possible that you could save the world
from anti-Arab discrimination with your hair?
How so?
What do you mean?
Because you got such good hair.
Well, that's nice.
Thanks.
I mean, no, the hair is like 21 Jump Street Johnny Depp situation.
Get me a leather jacket.
Like, I've been sitting here just fucking, because I always wish I could get that full
part in the middle.
You're doing pretty good, though, too.
I'm holding on.
I'm not young either.
Yeah.
We're doing good.
But you can actually fucking.
I can do a fucking.
Yeah, you can do one of those.
Here's the thing.
It's like I have to blow dry it to have it kind of be straight
maybe a little wavy to like have some sort of form to it when it's long if i did nothing i would have
a jufro right now right so i can jufro is a grandfather term like okay i'm not okay yeah
that probably wasn't even a problem like four months ago jufro jufro yeah now everybody's got
that situation going on they get upset but if you'd say something the other way, they'd now get upset.
Right.
So it's just like- Euphra used to be like easy to see.
Easy.
So curly, dry, and it'll be kind of fro-y.
So I have to put product and blow dry it and stuff.
And then it'll do this thing.
I know what you're saying.
It's a process.
It's ethnic coarse hair.
It's genocidal.
What?
Bro, I got- I bet that in the slang way. I wanted to talk about this like um because i think it's because it's an election cycle all the social media companies are really clamping down on what you're putting
online even in terms of jokes so i was shadow banned on instagram for like four months like
since uh thanksgiving pretty much i posted one joke this is the joke that
got me shadow banned i go oh i just want to let you guys know uh hamas is hiding at my
ex-girlfriend's house that's it so it's a subtle joke yeah about you know certain tactics or
whatever right right so gets a big laugh and shit.
It's a short clip.
It still exists on TikTok.
It's fine.
TikTok had no problem with it.
And normally TikTok is very,
they clamp down on everything.
Instagram, I think they just see like Hamas
on the thumbnail or whatever.
And so they have machine learning
and they just fucking flagged the shit out of it.
Yeah, that's what it is.
And I've been, I had been like,
and it sucks.
I have a special,
I have a stand-up special coming out,
and, like, when you're not plugged into the Hollywood machine,
and you're trying to,
you're an independent artist, pretty much,
you're, like, an indie label,
like, I filmed this whole special myself,
my own money, orchestrated it myself,
you know, Jason Katz, great director out in New York,
he, like, shot it,
but, like, I'm paying for it,
and I'm doing the
initiative and and you're counting on these social media platforms like IG and YouTube and stuff like
that to be able to circumvent the Comedy Central's the Netflix the large corporations so you kind of
need these so like an innocent whatever joke like that where I'm not super heavy handed or anything. It's just like it's a joke.
Shuts down the whole thing pretty much.
So like my reach is super suppressed.
I have these flags.
I just can't get around and you can't contact anyone.
Yeah.
Luckily, I'm at a large agency and they were they had a tough time because it's this nebulous dark cloud.
There's no real person.
Right.
So they were able to finally talk to some people.
And then I got the flags removed maybe like a week ago.
But this is after two months of fucking like,
I know influencers in LA.
I'm like, yo, do you have a contact there?
And they're like, let me talk to my guy.
Just all hands on deck trying to remove these flags.
Until the special comes out, maybe just food-making content?
Pretty much, dude.
So now that my account is clean again,
I'm not trying to push any
because I need the promotional bandwidth
of these apps.
Fahim Anwar makes muffins.
I make muffins.
Look at me make this traditional dish.
Yeah, I just do like hustle videos.
No one's feathers are ruffled.
You gotta keep grinding.
Yeah, motivational stuff goes good.
Yeah, yeah.
Throw up memes.
Memes.
Just, you know, young said things.
Yeah.
Yeah, so it's nice to have it back.
When does the special come out?
February 28th.
Woo!
Yeah, it's a good date.
Yeah, so it's on my YouTube.
So youtube.com slash Fahim Anwar.
This will be my third special that'll be available on YouTube.
My first one was on CISO, which no one knows what the fuck CISO is.
Yeah, that came and went.
Yeah.
Were you able to get that back?
No, that was a comedy dynamics joint and they just own everything and it's not a great deal.
You know, kind of like a Motown deal.
But whatever.
I think they licensed it to Comedy Central and I was able to rip it, and it's on my channel.
So I have three available.
No Business Like Show Business, Hat Trick,
which is like a year and a half ago or two years ago.
You came here to promote that.
Yeah, and then this one is House Money.
So go check out House Money right now
on this gentleman's YouTube channel.
Check it out.
Share it.
Subscribe.
Subscribe, share it, all that stuff.
Thumbs up.
Thumbs up.
Tell your friends.
Comment on it.
Holy shit, please, yeah.
This was an incredible app.
Also, check out Frankie Ant.
Yeah, check out Frankie Ant.
We're doing a hard launch of Frankie Ant.
He has a Patreon already.
There was an intern in here who just saw the potential
and just started whipping up
A bunch of socials
Yeah dude
If Frankie Ant takes off
That'll be so fucking hilarious
We gotta make the clip
And just put it out there
I'm never in New York
Yeah
It'd be funny
If I just keep it that way
But Frankie Ant
Takes New York by storm
Yeah
Like Vahim never performs
In New York
But Frankie Ant
Is at the cellar
Then he pops over to the stand.
He's like, you're getting bumped by Frankie Ant.
I'm like, sorry, kid.
When you come on, just some Godfather music starts to play.
I even bounce around.
I do the Tonight Show.
Then I go over to Colbert.
Like, I just do all of them.
I just treat late nights like spots.
Yeah, yeah.
Yo, have you heard about what happened?
Fahim's career.
What are you talking about? Fahim's career took off fucking frankie frankie aunt bumped paul rudd
sorry to paul rudd we had frankie aunt dropped in yeah dude i think from this podcast what may
happen is you go on stage and people just might start yelling yeah yeah frankie is frankie yeah
we laugh now,
but in the moment,
I'm going to be so mad.
It'll be horrible.
When I'm in Milwaukee,
and then I'm in the middle
of a bit that I'm
very excited about,
and they go,
Frankie Ant.
Tell us about
your mom's pasta sauce.
Come on,
how many girls
are sucking your dick?
And I go,
I didn't want to do this,
but you tell me that everyone's like, ah, he's here.
He's here.
Frankie.
People start fucking pulling out ronzonis and biting into dry noodles.
They start pouring pasta sauce on their own heads.
Frankie, that's it.
Yo, and then super jealous people are like, you know he's not really Italian.
Yeah, fucking, you know.
He's not even real.
I gotta come up with a fucking
sticky Italian character, too.
All the hate comes.
Oh, dude, you're writing a movie right now.
Frankie Anne.
Frankie Anne.
Frankie Anne takes off.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
He's like, he's the new Ernest.
Yeah.
Just plug him into everything.
And then you hate it so much,
you end up blowing your brains out,
but your agents are making so much money
from Frankie Anne,
then they gotta find another guy that
looks like you to continue to be Frankie
Ant. So every sequel is a guy
doing Frankie Ant until he kills himself.
And then they gotta find another one.
But, I mean, with AI getting so
sophisticated. Maybe they just recreate you.
Or they clone you and bring you back as Frankie
Ant. So you're in this hell
where you have to be Frankie Ant every life.
I'm like Johnny Depp
In Transcendence
Yeah
Yo that's a deep cut man
Yeah
Alright well this has been amazing
Thanks man
Thanks for having me
Check out the special
Again
Planes are safe guys
Yeah
Fame knocks on walls
To make sure
Let me put my headphones in
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do it on a car hood. Forthefree.org is music inaii god bless these guys uh nate linder is back like
he never left nate linder always a big part of our show glad to have him back follow him on on
instagram at nate underscore linder that's the way you can contact him he is a social media manager
he's been crushing it with construction companies right now. Getting there.
He's getting there monetized.
He's getting construction companies monetized.
Think marketing.
Think Nate Linder.
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