Yannis Pappas Hour - Crypto Strip Club

Episode Date: February 19, 2022

It’s your favorite fake news show, if we gonna have fake news why not make it fun! The fetaverse this week brings you a deep dive into crypto commercials and their true purpose, Prince Andrew has a ...loving mommy who is willing to give him some money to make some boo boos go away—a mather’s love is eternal—doesn’t he, Cuomo’s catch another body “and another one!” And a Montessori school shows us when keeping it progressive goes wrong! Also, much more…and by more we mean WILD so we don’t want to awaken the censors, babybosses! This is Longdays and let’s find out wasdadealis! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up everybody welcome to another episode of your favorite source of disinformation that is true the only real news show you can believe in because we are not owned that's why CNN's coming after us that's why Fox is coming after us That's why Gawker is coming after us. That's why Jezebel Maxwell's coming after us. That's why Jezebel's coming after us That's why we put Huffington Post out of business Arianna Huffington It's me verse you on the undercard a Jake Paul verse whatever fighter is gonna take a dive for a million dollars That's what we're gonna do. It is the Fediverse. Reality is a suggestion.
Starting point is 00:00:47 What is real? What is not? I'm a bully. What's going on in the world? I just want to say something to the people who've been posting comments about what we were saying about Dave Chappelle. You've got to tune in for me to yell at you. And by you, I mean three people who wrote something in the comments
Starting point is 00:01:03 who always get the squeaky wheel gets the grease. All you got to do is say something negative and I will notice you. Prince Andrew. Prince Andrew had to go to his mommy to get a little money so he could buy a little silence from women he had underage relations with. Talk about a mama's boy. Taxpayers, I'm sure you're happy about contributing to him paying off the girl who was suing him who he illegally had sexual relations with as a young prince.
Starting point is 00:01:39 As a young prince, just like the child's tale. U.S. casinos had their best year ever. Right now, we are a country of podcasters, OnlyFans performers, and gamblers. Okay, and that's if you don't own an NFT. I am an NFT. I will not go one more day on this planet being full of blood, carbon, and oxygen. I want to be
Starting point is 00:02:06 an NFT. Make me fake because fake is the new real. I don't want to live in this world. I want to live in the metaverse. That's why I created my own called the Fediverse. Chris Cuomo's got another body. We'll talk about it.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Montessori skulls on second notice. We're putting you on notice. Now there's going to be the negative comments. He just screams. He just screams. Sometimes I have a little more energy than others. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Montessori is on notice. The most progressive school from a long time ago founded by a woman who sounds like if you say her name five times, a sauce appears. founded by a woman who sounds like if you say her name five times, a sauce appears. Maria Montessori is on notice because kids in Boston did blackface. Stick around to learn about it. They canceled school over it. Crypto commercials during the Super Bowl.
Starting point is 00:02:59 Is it real or is it a pump and dump? Why is there commercials for money if it's not a product? We get into it with our crypto expert, Quick Hands as we call them jesse scaturo and we also got our financial expert jared harvin here and we got more there's a priest in arizona who uh was doing baptisms wrong so now i think the church is getting sued we'll get into it we have have our Catholic expert here, Jared Harvin. There was a guy from Portland who tried to open the plane door on a plane while it was in the air. He was from Portland, so I assume it was some sort of defund the police protest. He was just opening it because he wanted to hang a defund the police banner from the plane
Starting point is 00:03:41 over whatever city it was flying over. on the police banner from the plane over whatever city it was flying over. Hillary Clinton, we can't confirm nor deny whether she is responsible for espionage on a sitting president or during the campaign, but it seems like there is evidence it may be. Tucker Carlson did a piece on it. Tulsi Gabbard commented on it. So for me, that's fact because Tucker Carlson is the new Walter Cronkite. Why not?
Starting point is 00:04:08 And I'm the new Ali Wong. She's got a new special coming out. It's coming out on Netflix. The first two she was pregnant for. This one she's not. But she did just have an abortion for it. What's the Dulles? Down in Spoppes.
Starting point is 00:04:23 Yeah. When you all tucked up in the baby mall. And the news online going on and on. Before we start the episode, This kid's screwed in, got a lot to say. Ah, shit. It's about to be a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day. Before we start the episode, my date's coming up. Minneapolis, March 3rd through the 5th, I will be live. Come get your tickets. Then I will be in Springfield, Massachusetts, March 18th and 19th. And then, of course, I will be in San Antonio, March 24th through the 26th.
Starting point is 00:05:08 So go get your tickets at yannispappascomedy.com. I'm making a video. Have some respect. Enjoy this episode. It was an absolute, absolute wild one. We go in. That's what it is. When you do the first two specials and you're pregnant for one and two, people expect you to have some sort of reproductive issue going on for the third special. So I did speak to my good friend, Ellie Wong, and she did confirm that she did, before the show starts, she goes, I was with child before this special, but as a protest to the recent passage of the 15-week abortion law in Arizona, I terminated that pregnancy for the special
Starting point is 00:05:53 and walked out. So she actually went straight from the abortion to the special, okay? Jesse, aren't you from Brooklyn? Your stomach's supposed to be hard. Jesse's fucking giving me looks like I'm performing in front of fucking, I'm performing in front of AOC's campaign, the campaign crowd. I'm just looking up Ali Wong, dog. That's it. I mean, I know it's a harsh joke, but that's what
Starting point is 00:06:17 we do here. News. We do news. The hard hitting news hard-hitting news. So if you can tell, she's a little emaciated and dehydrated. That's because she just had an abortion before this one. Okay, third pregnancy was not possible because her... Beep it! You guys used
Starting point is 00:06:40 to be friends. No, we're good friends. I'm just joking. We're comedians. That's what we do. That's a joke. But I'm just saying, the third one, we're good friends. I'm just joking. We're comedians. That's what we do. That's a joke. But I'm just saying the third one, she had an abortion. Yeah. So before she gets up on stage,
Starting point is 00:06:52 she actually walks out with it in a jar and goes, yas! And throws it. And goes, reproductive rights, yas!
Starting point is 00:07:04 I love Allie. I don't think she can admit that she's friends with me now or else her fans will just be like, are your friends saying Nazi? Nazi, Nazi, Nazi, Nazi, Nazi. I want to live a week as a Nazi. I want to live a week as a different religion. I want to know what it's like for a week. If I just take a
Starting point is 00:07:28 week and live as a woman, I want to take a week and live as a Muslim, just so you can know what it's like. Okay. Just so you can get the insight on what's going on there. Like what do Nazis do? Do Nazis are, is it like, if there was an Us weekly for nazis you never you ever go to like us weekly and you see like they just take a picture and they say there's a whole section that just like us so it'll just show like matthew perry looking all strung out from methamphetamines holding a smoothie and they'll go just like us and you're going he's not just like us he's a little sadder because he got all that money and it's not what he expected it was going to be.
Starting point is 00:08:06 So that smoothie means a little bit more to him than it does to me. I'm just trying to be healthy. He's having his meal for the day because he has no appetite. I wonder if Nazis have a similar magazine where they're just like us. You can watch Nazis watching movies, getting lunch. Do you think Nazis go to Trader Joe's? Shop and stop? They have to like us. You can watch Nazis watching movies, getting lunch. Do you think Nazis go to Trader Joe's? Shop and stop? They have to grocery shop.
Starting point is 00:08:29 They're just like us. You know? Like if we started showing the humanity, maybe it would even embarrass them. Because Nazis don't want to be seen buying bread. You know? You want to always be seen in your shit. When you're a Nazi, you want to be seen in your shit.
Starting point is 00:08:45 You want to be seen like with your fucking whatever shit they got on. They always got shit on. You think they do bagels on Sunday? No, I don't think there's a lot from New York, but they definitely do like grits. They eat breakfast. Just think about Nazis eat breakfast, dog. Nazis fart. Nazi farts.
Starting point is 00:09:02 You know? Can you imagine just a Nazii at his computer nazis masturbate nazis speak to their mom hi mom hi yeah what are you doing um you know i'm going to a hate group meeting on wednesday then we got yoga tuesdays then you know i'm just gonna watch some netflix The best part is like Nazis probably watch Black-ish. They probably really like Black-ish. Because, you know, the thing that you try to like hate the most is the thing that you like secretly like. When they go to the meeting, they're like, no, no, no. I wasn't watching Black-ish.
Starting point is 00:09:40 I was watching what would be a great. I was watching Joe Rogan. I was watching Joe Rogan. I was watching. I was like, but they were watching Black-ish. They tuned into old episodes of 2 Dub Queens. You know they did. They watched 3 Runs of Martin on VH1.
Starting point is 00:09:53 You know one of them has a burner account and is following Phoebe Robinson. You know they are. That's the funny thing about Nazis. It's like, what are you guys doing? Why is everyone joining these groups? Why does people want to be in a group so much? Don't people who, do people respect courage, individuality, and bravery anymore? You know?
Starting point is 00:10:12 How come people don't look up to Jared Harvin? He's sitting here and he's got pink fucking Crocs on. That's a fact. You think Jared Harvin wants to be a part of your gang? No. Why does everyone need a gang? Can't you stand on your own two feet why do you care so much about what people think i don't even care what my parents think obviously
Starting point is 00:10:33 i chose this i think i'm starting too slow we got to bring it down for the people who gonna say he screams too much yeah this is not the episode one who are going to say he screams too much. This is not the episode when you're going to recommend for a friend. This is not the one you send them. You got to start them slow. We need a slower episode that we can always go to and be like, look, Yanni wasn't a delicious
Starting point is 00:10:58 maniac on this one. He was a little bit more in the box. Don't give him these out of the box ones. I'm going to slow it down a little. We're going to go a little more boys to men on this now. Okay, now that's the part where the guy starts speaking. That's what's going to happen now. Before it was the people singing, the fat one singing. What happened to the pudgy fucking guy?
Starting point is 00:11:15 Pudge. The pudgy one. Boys to men never broke up. None of them ever went solo. I respect that loyalty. There's only three of them now though. What happened to the fourth one? Diabetes?
Starting point is 00:11:23 Lost a foot? Probably, yeah. Too many cheesecakes in Philly? Too many cheesecakes in Philly. Motown. Cheesecakes. Back again. Doing a little East Coast swing.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Long days with Adonis Georgiadidis. Yeah, boys to men, there's only three of them. So did the talking one leave or the talking one still there? Because that voice is very important to their motif. Yeah, it's very important. You get two voices of, you know, I want to sex you slowly. And then the fucking guy comes in to talk you down off the ledge. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:53 Yeah. So we lost one boys to men guy. The problem with boys to men is we don't know any of their names. Can you name one boys to men? No, I can't. No. Now are they just men to men? Probably.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Because they're all adults now. Yeah. Can we now call them men to men? Probably. Because they're all adults now. Yeah. Can we now call them men to senior citizens? Yeah. Men to geriatrics. Men to geriatrics. They're no longer boys to men.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Now they're men to geriatrics. Dude, I mean, the halftime performance made a lot of Gen Z people happy. Someone was saying if you were over 35, you love that. I'm like, excuse me. Some big tweet went out like if you're over 35, that was your favorite halftime performance. Excuse me. Excuse me. That was music for 40 year olds. That was from the 90s. Yeah. The people who the generation of people listen to that goes back to almost 50 now. Snoop is what? Snoop's got gray hairs. Snoop is like 49, I believe.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Yeah, and he's in dog years, so that's 146. And Dr. Dre survived a brain aneurysm. A brain aneurysm, $4 million from his divorced wife, that's a lot. Yeah, I mean, they've been through some stuff. But I'm talking about these guys got major senior citizen health problems at this point. I mean, Mary J. looks good. These 70s and 80s babies out here
Starting point is 00:13:16 looking better than everybody. Mary J. looked really nice. I mean, she was dancing like she was drunk, but she looked very nice. I think that was the best part of the performance, though. When she fell back? Yeah. And a lot of people said
Starting point is 00:13:27 that Eminem was kneeling down to honor Colin Kaepernick. It could have been that but it also could have been he was just admiring his own custom fire threes. Because he went down he could have just been
Starting point is 00:13:37 looking at them joints. He went down and he made sure it wasn't creased. He'd make sure the joints weren't creased. Eminem also pull your pants up.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Okay? You're 49. My daughter's watching young man. Pull your pants up, okay? You're 49. My daughter's watching, young man. Pull your pants up. That dude wears the same wardrobe for every performance he ever performs at. He does. He always got the chain on the wallet, black pants. The pants, like, real low below his ass.
Starting point is 00:13:59 I remember there was an Irish kid. He was a firefighter that lived on my block. Park Slope used to be all Irish. Used to be all Irish. And there was a firefighter that lived in my block. Park Slope used to be all Irish. Used to be all Irish. And there was a bunch of like retired cops. What happened was
Starting point is 00:14:10 in my neighborhood, it went from like, you know, working class Irish, completely Irish. That's why the St. Paddy's Day Parade still goes down across the Park West.
Starting point is 00:14:19 And then it went, it went baby boomer, baby boomer hippies that grew up and had kids. Like the guys from Brooklyn, like Jesse's parents. Like Jesse's father's from Bensonhurst. So he grew up, but he was the one that finger painted, so he was a little more sensitive and wanted civil rights.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Well, the rest of his kids were like, get the fuck out of my neighborhood. All Jesse's dad's friends were like, get him out of my neighborhood. I don't care. I don't care if he's making a delivery. I see anything that's not a tie in my fucking neighborhood. I don't care. I don't care if he's making a delivery. I see anything that's not Italian in my fucking neighborhood. Okay, that's what happens. If the aliens attack Bensonhurst, they shoot like that at him. They say, get the fuck out of my neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Jesse's an outlier. He's the only one that puts ketchup on his hot dogs. Everyone else is putting mustard and sauerkraut and shit. His dad was like, guys, guys, guys, guys. Sensitive. Yeah, he said, guys, they're people just like us. And they said, Larry, what did you fucking say to me? What did you get the fuck out of here?
Starting point is 00:15:14 And so Larry went to the basement and he started sculpting because the kid just had talent to sculpt. No, he went to San Francisco. Oh, first went to San Francisco to escape, but he's from Bensonhurst. He joined the Air Force, went to San Francisco. That's the way to get out. All his friends are like, what are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:15:28 You know, they were sitting on a stoop one day playing blue ball. You don't know blue ball. You're not from New York. That's where you throw a blue ball against a stoop. You're from Long Island. What did you guys play? Handball. Handball.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Yeah. Okay. So you take the blue ball and you throw it off the stoop. And then if it goes over you, you know, it's a whole system. So we played blue ball growing up against the stoop. So they were sitting around playing blue ball one day, and it was probably Vinny, Vinny the Mole. You know?
Starting point is 00:15:50 Vinny Mook. Vinny Mook. You know? Louie Bop. Louie Bop. Who else we got? Vinny Mook, Louie Bop. Oh, the Mole.
Starting point is 00:15:57 I forgot the Mole was there. Yeah, we called it, you know, it was Vincenzo the Mole. Because he came out at 4 p.m. like, what's going on? What's going on? He came out of his house every day at 4 p.m. Italians will take your worst attribute and make it your nickname. You know, oh, that's Joey One-Eye. Oh, that's Vinny DeMol.
Starting point is 00:16:10 He doesn't come out of his house before 4. He's at 4 o'clock. He goes, what's going on, guys? What's going on? And, you know, he's sitting there playing football. And it's like, what are you going to do, Vincenzo? Well, you know, my father's got the store down there. I'm going to take that over.
Starting point is 00:16:22 How about these guys? Well, I started running some numbers for the, you know, for the chases. How about you, Larry? What are you going to do? And then he played along. He's like, yeah, you know, I got to keep people out of the neighborhood. But deep down, he was eating them up because inside he was going, I need to fucking sculpt.
Starting point is 00:16:40 I want to sculpt. I want to sculpt to be free. I don't want to hate black people. I don't want to hate black people I don't want to hate Puerto Ricans I don't want to hate communists I'm one of them Equal rights, equal rights Tom Hayden, I'm a yippee Civil rights, play that Janet Strachan
Starting point is 00:16:58 And give me a paintbrush I mean we're all in the performing arts We're all a little gay yeah so Larry went over to San Fran he joined the Air Force hated that too because they were asking him
Starting point is 00:17:12 to do like fucking killing stuff and he was pushing the button like this oh I just want to fucking sculpt he moved to Park Slope it was all like
Starting point is 00:17:21 the open minded open minded baby boomers moved to Park Slope but anyway there all like the open-minded, open-minded baby boomers. Moved to Park Slope. But anyway, there was this firefighter on my block. I won't say his name because it's like public, but you know what I'm talking about. Remember? Yeah. Don't hurt him, Hammer. Yeah. He would always see us with our pants baggy and he would just go, don't hurt him, Hammer. Don't hurt him. He would always tell me, your pants up What are you doing Don't hurt him
Starting point is 00:17:45 Hammer So What does that mean Just cause MC Hammer MC Hammer used to wear Those big balloon pants So he was just
Starting point is 00:17:55 Making fun of us Going don't hurt him Hammer Yeah that sounded like An ad lib from one of his songs I was like What the hell is he trying to say You a fan
Starting point is 00:18:02 He would just always Tell me to pull my pants up He was like an Irish old school firefighter. Yeah. That was a brute. He was a brute. Big guy. And he came, you know, his dad was a cop.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Next door neighbor to him was a cop. And they were like two doors down from me. He had like 12 brothers. He was the youngest. So he was still in the house. And he was a great guy. They came up. We'd be hanging out.
Starting point is 00:18:24 My parents would go to Greece. We'd have have big parties i remember once he came over and brought were you there when he came and brought beers and they just left yeah because he wanted he probably wanted to see if we were going to invite him to hang but he was probably also uncomfortable with hanging out with kids who were 15 years younger than him you know he's like i don't know if that's if i can hang out with high schoolers you know but he came over he brought us beers and you know but he'd been there for a while. They knew my brother. My brother was 17 years older than me.
Starting point is 00:18:48 But every time he saw me, he'd be like, what's wrong? You need me to buy you a belt for Christmas? Don't hurt him, Hammer. They would make fun. So back to Eminem. It's like, guy, come on, dog. Put a belt on at this point, right?
Starting point is 00:19:03 He's dying that beard, right? Of course, and the eyebrows. There was a big controversy on the internet about the eyebrows. Nobody was wearing a mask at that Super Bowl. But anyway, the halftime performance was dope. I did not like 50 Cent upside down. I didn't think we needed to recreate that. Just watching him lip sync with blood rushing to his forehead.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Yeah, he had to catch his breath. He had to catch it. Slurring his forehead. Yeah. He had to catch his breath. Yeah, he had to catch it. Slurring his words. Yeah. Snoopy. Shorty. Goose. And Dr. Dre should just be like,
Starting point is 00:19:32 look, man, do I still got to perform this? Like, Eminem wrote the lyrics. I make the beat. I'm a producer. You know. I just had a brain aneurysm. It was nice to see him out there after a brain. I thought he had a stroke, right?
Starting point is 00:19:45 And he was back out there. He had a major brain aneurysm. It was nice to see him out there after a brain. I thought he had a stroke, right? And he was back out there. He had a major brain aneurysm, yeah. Yeah. Don't hurt him, Hammer. Sounds like something said in a movie about prison made by someone who knows nothing about prison. I think that was said by somebody who knows something about prison.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Yeah. Eminem put a belt on or the stripper boots. Otherwise, Tucker Carlson is gonna have a few words with you. So, Snoop is just so good,
Starting point is 00:20:12 dude. Like, Snoop is just like... He's still smooth. Oh, he's so smooth. His voice is so good. I was surprised
Starting point is 00:20:18 that he could crip walk. I figured he'd have tendonitis in the knees. Yeah, and you know, I remember when these guys came on the scene. Hip hop, when we grew up, believe it or not, Jared, in your father. Yeah, and you know, I remember when these guys came on the scene. Hip-hop, when we grew up, believe it or not, Jared, in your father's age, like our age,
Starting point is 00:20:30 hip-hop, I was alive when hip-hop was invented. Oh yeah, I know, 70s. Yeah. Like, I was alive. I mean, I wasn't, I was too small, but I was alive like at the beginning in the 80s when I started liking hip-hop. First hip-hop album I got was Fat Boys. You know, I put fat laces in my in my nikes like hip-hop was like the nation sugar hill gang
Starting point is 00:20:51 yeah man and it was all it was an art form back then not it was the graffiti it was the break dancing the beatboxing beatboxing's now gone break dancing's now gone it's funny how things that start as an art like turn into pop. You know what I mean? The lyrics, it was very lyrical. That's why so many rappers hated, they hated MC Hammer and they hated Vanilla Ice because they felt like they were poppy. The lyrics were not great.
Starting point is 00:21:17 And that was all true. That was all true. I mean, MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice both could dance, but there were backup dancers for that. I went to Rap Mania with my Puerto Rican girlfriend in 1990. I had to lie to my parents. We took the train up there. And this wasn't when Harlem was like,
Starting point is 00:21:33 you saw somebody buying kale. This was Harlem, Harlem back in the day. I went up there. My buddy shot out Jaha Johnson, took us out there. I think he works in A&R now. Sounds like a cornerback for the Titans. Yeah. I mean, you can't get a blacker name than Jaha Johnson, took us out there. I think he works in A&R now. Sounds like a cornerback for the Titans. Yeah. I mean, you can't get a blacker name than Jaha Johnson.
Starting point is 00:21:49 And we went, and dude, it was like slick Rick. The only white group that was there was Third Base, and Third Base was fucking lit. Like MC Search would dance. Like every group had backup dancers, crazy legs. Remember? They would have whole routines there was somebody beat there was beatboxing people there was dj's cutting the dj was part of
Starting point is 00:22:10 the band now it's just like drake back then it was like cool g rapping dj polo like everybody had a dj was part of their band like even tribe called quest what was his name he never he never said anything in the videos sh Shahib Kweli? Shahib Kweli? No. No, no. No, Talib Kweli is the one they photoshopped into Dave Chappelle's photos. No, no, not Talib Kweli.
Starting point is 00:22:30 It was Muhammad something. Yeah. And he was the DJ. It was like DJs were part of the group. I mean, it was an art form. There was artistry, a lot of artistry to it back then. Lots of artistry back then. Fife, yeah, Jerobe.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Jerobe. His name was Jerobe. Yeah, Fife Jerobe in Q-Tip. Yeah. Jerobe was the DJ. Where did I start with this? You were talking about your neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:22:56 No, we were talking, yeah, we were talking about the halftime show. So, that was, you know, when someone tweeted that that was 35 years,
Starting point is 00:23:06 50 had to pull up to hang upside down that was that was for people in their 40s that was incredible and they're still going they're still going those are
Starting point is 00:23:14 those are living legends and oh I was saying when Dr. Dre and Snoop came on the scene that's where I started hip hop was like east
Starting point is 00:23:22 very east coast heavy there was no southern hip-hop. There was no Atlanta-based artists. Outkast came out, but when Dre, that West Coast flavor dropped, that was a whole new sound, a whole new thing. More gang-affiliated. It was more gang-affiliated. Ice-T.
Starting point is 00:23:40 N.W.A. was one of the first ones. And M.W.A., it was hard. That was the beginning of gangster rap the first ones and M.W.A. it was like hard that was the beginning of gangster rap that kind of came out of the west coast but then when Dre Day hit
Starting point is 00:23:49 The Chronic The Chronic I'm sorry when The Chronic hit I'm sorry The Chronic was like that is one of like the biggest moments
Starting point is 00:23:56 in any genre's history that was like a new sound and it just announced Dr. Dre as like obviously the genius behind all those guys you know ice cube ran i mean the chronic was that album hit and then didn't it do crazy sales too
Starting point is 00:24:15 like it was and that album the chronic back to front was just like incredible incredible so seeing dr dre out there who's now a billionaire. Dr. Dre is a billionaire. Well, he was a billionaire. Not after that divorce. Yeah, not after the divorce. This was a day where Dr. Dre could drag a woman by the hair and there wouldn't be a hashtag about it.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Didn't he have an issue with someone at a club? Yeah, she was like MTV VJ. What can you do? They had a club. Yeah, she was like MTV VJ. What can you do? They had a disagreement. So I'm glad the gangster aspect of rap is over because that was no fun. Gangster stuff's no fun, but it did produce a lot of great music. That era did produce when everyone had to be hard and stuff like that. That must be a real relief. Now you got Chance the Rapper. You got guys that are just like, there's no, and that's just great.
Starting point is 00:25:09 I love that. Because the gangster part was always a little stressful. It's always a little stressful that that had to be a part of it. But Dr. Dre is a living legend. That was an amazing halftime show. It was good. To me, it's second to Prince.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Prince was like early 2000s. Prince was good. Dude good dude prince and he was playing purple rain in the rain i mean in heels the kid performed in heels so much so he hurt his hips because he used to dance in heels then he started taking painkillers he died for his art those were the artists i grew up with who do we got now the jonas brothers Brothers? The fucking, and they got a few good songs. A few good songs. But come on, dude. The Jonas Brothers,
Starting point is 00:25:48 you can tell that they're guys. I don't like that. I like my rock stars to be straight but look like women and be wearing heels. Exactly. Taking painkillers
Starting point is 00:25:57 with purple guitars. Naming themselves symbols. I need a four, I need like a 14 minute wardrobe change for my rock stars. I mean, come on, dog. Prince was a fucking rock star.
Starting point is 00:26:08 He's dead. If you don't come out that floor wearing makeup, I don't want to see you. I don't want to see, I don't want to hear from you. I mean, Prince, because Prince looks like a guy who's not a musical genius because there's so much flair there,
Starting point is 00:26:20 but he was. If you knew how many songs he wrote that ended up becoming hits, Sinead O'Connor's whole career, Nothing Compares to You, that's a Prince song. The list goes on of songs that he wrote. Not only was he a great songwriter,
Starting point is 00:26:33 he also played like every instrument. Every one. He was nuts, dude. So, you know, when people call my generation boomers, guys in their 40s, late 30s, 40s like me, early 40s like me, you know, it's like, I get it. You're calling me a boomer because I'm from an era where people were good.
Starting point is 00:26:54 You can't tell me when you go back and listen to rap back then that it's not better than rap now because it is. Who's better than Biggie? Who's better than LL? Who's better lyrically than Cool G Rap who's better than Rakim right now who's a better lyricist right now lyricist, thank you
Starting point is 00:27:14 you're the enemy I've had enough of you young kids I get it, I'm a boomer because I say something reasonable people are like, what are boomers? are they people in their 60s? No, it's people who say something reasonable, people who want, what are boomers? Are they people in their 60s? No, it's people who say something reasonable. People who want to be able to pay strippers in the monetary
Starting point is 00:27:29 system that you're promoting for us to believe it. I will not buy a Bitcoin until I can hand one to a stripper. Web 3 that, asshole. Someone just called me Yanni Old Days. I don't think you're a boomer because you stick up for old rap. I think you're a boomer because you have this afternoon's lunch stain on your shirt still. And sweat stains from the bath.
Starting point is 00:27:59 If I could see that spinach pie that you had at 2 o'clock, then, son, you a boomer, dog. Time to whip out the apron or the bib. Box of Awesome is back. Bespoke Post is bringing you a Box of Awesome. What a gift for you or somebody else. It is a surprise in each box. Just an assortment of cool things that come in the box that are from emerging brands, local businesses, and they're all very cool. They got you covered, man,
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Starting point is 00:32:39 a mask mandate in LA. So I don't know if that meant that people in the Super Bowl, because I know everyone who got in had to show a vax card. You had to have a vax card. Those aren't hard to fake. And then were people supposed to wear masks at the game? I assume that they were. Probably, yeah. Probably. Nobody was. Only one was wearing masks was Kanye. Kanye was the only one wearing masks. He was wearing a fencing helmet.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Yes. Kanye was the only one wearing a mask. He was wearing a fencing helmet. Yes. Kanye was wearing a fencing helmet. So maybe he just ran from fencing practice. I don't know what that kid is doing. I thought I was watching the 2024 Olympics. Because Pete Davidson gets dudes really bent out of shape.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Bent out of shape. I mean, Mac Miller, he had that dude bent out of shape. He's got Kanye bent out of shape. Bent out of shape. I mean, Mac Miller, he had that dude bent out of shape. He's got Kanye bent out of shape. Kanye's just like tweeting help to try to get his family back from Pete Davidson. And Pete Davidson's just going, guys, I don't know what's, you know, I'm just a guy with a magical dick.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Leave me alone. He's tweeting his private messages. This is not making Kanye look good, no? It's not no yeah what's your opinion on this bad pr again again when we had this conversation in the last pod i said that this war between them is not going to come to a physical war it's just going to come to like a matter of like mental mind state and obviously kanye is unstable and pete is just it's winning doesn't have to show up for work at snl you know yeah you pull up on a saturday do an update and bounce and then go back to kim and then kanye's doing that looks
Starting point is 00:34:10 like a rogue member of the men in black i like it's really just a mental mind state you know so it's very weird that as a lot of so much of it like i know pete it's just weird that pete is banging kim kardashian what is next yeah this is the same guy that was in the green room with Greenwich Village Comedy Club. Yeah, like I, it's the same guy. I mean, I did Soul Joel gigs with him. And now he's banging the most famous woman in the world. I mean, where do you go from Kim Kardashian?
Starting point is 00:34:40 I mean, he's, I mean, let's go, Ariana Grande. Third or fourth most famous in the world? Fifth most famous in the world? Yeah. Then he goes, you're like, okay, from now on, he's going to be banging, you know. He'll be banging. He's got to go back down. I was thinking, like, where do you go from Ariana Grande?
Starting point is 00:34:59 From here, he's probably going to start banging, you know, some 50-year-old model who was big in the 90s or something like that. Maybe you see him with Naomi Campbell or something like that. And you're like, oh, I remember when Naomi Campbell was big. She's not exactly that famous anymore. But he won, maybe Simone Biles. Next thing you know, you see Pete Davidson. That would be a funny couple. He's just holding his hand down low like a child.
Starting point is 00:35:21 I mean, Simone Biles is 4'3". I mean, they both could share antidepressant pills together. They could go on a date to CVS holding hands. That's what I thought it was going to be, even though Simone Biles is pretty famous, but not as famous as Ariana Grande. No. But then he goes up in fame, at least a little bit,
Starting point is 00:35:47 and he starts banging Kanye West's girl. Yeah. Kim Kardashian. That guy went from open mic feature to seller pass. Of women. That was within like a two-week period. I mean, where does he go after Kim? Of course, this isn't going to last.
Starting point is 00:36:04 I mean, that's funny. It was funny when him and Arianda got engaged. It was like, I mean, put your money on the obvious on that one. If it's 100 to win 400, do it. If it's a plus 1,000, do it. It's not going to work out. So when they break up, inevitably, obviously Kanye's going to kill Kim. We know that. that's gonna end
Starting point is 00:36:27 in tragedy um jokes it's a joke no bully joke i'm sorry i'm joking um does seem that way though um yeah where does pete go where do you go from kim kardashian i think you got to go to queen of england i think you gotta fuck Prince Andrew's mom after that. Pete's gonna be royalty. Yeah, I mean, where do you go after? Dude, where do you go after Kim Kardashian? Who can you fuck
Starting point is 00:36:53 who's more famous than Kim Kardashian? I mean, can you think of anyone? No. Oprah. Oprah. Oprah. Yeah, Oprah. Kim, he's got it.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Oprah and Whoopi at the same time. Yeah, that's the only place to go. I think it's just Oprah, Oprah. You got to get Oprah. He's got it. Oprah and Whoopi at the same time. Yeah, that's the only place to go is I think it's just Oprah, really. Or Michelle. Michelle Obama. It's got to. Look, Pete, you have no choice. Because look, here's the thing. That's the problem when you get to the top.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Yeah. When you get to the top, you don't know where to go because it's a finite universe. So when you're at the top, there's only one way to go is down unless it's Oprah. So Oprah you only got two choices Oprah He or maybe Hillary Clinton. He's already got a tattoo of her. So maybe he preempted their relationship Yeah, but that might turn Bill Clinton on so, you know, he might be into that Clinton may watch yeah, that might be the only way that Hillary turns him on. Are you kidding me? When do you think the last time Hillary Clinton turned Bill Clinton on?
Starting point is 00:37:51 Okay, I'll tell you when it was. A long time ago. It was a long time ago, before she knew she was a lesbian. So we're talking about maybe 16, 17, or whenever they met in college before. Because in that day, if you were a you just didn't weren't aware of it You know you couldn't be pantsuits tailored. Yeah I mean Pete is he's like Helen of Staten Island
Starting point is 00:38:15 Really? He's causing wars He's causing wars like Helena Troy. Mm-hmm Pete of Staten Island They will write like there's gonna be like a new Myth written about him like odd it like the Odyssey except it's just gonna be Pete of Staten Island. They will write, there's gonna be a new myth written about him, like the Odyssey, except it's just gonna be Pete of Staten Island. I think he scoops Rihanna next. Rihanna,
Starting point is 00:38:31 but Rihanna's not bigger than Kim Kardashian. As big, that's a lateral move. You start fucking Hillary Clinton, former Secretary of State, to match the tattoo, now we got a story. You start fucking Melania Trump, now we got a story. You start fucking Melania Trump,
Starting point is 00:38:46 now we got a story. And you know she's game. You know Michelle Obama, at least a little interested. That's the only way you can go. She's too good of a woman though. He's not gonna be able to get to Michelle. She seems very moral.
Starting point is 00:39:01 But Hillary, very compromised. With Pete, he doesn't really have to upgrade women he just has to upgrade enemies because now you have kanye as an enemy so who else who else like the man can you get mad at you so he's got a rock you're right get barack mad at you like gotta fuck the rock's wife or vladimir putin's can you get can you get can you get bezos mad at you you know fuck bezos is so mad you open up both his eyes equally you know that may be the key to unlocking and making his eyes go straight yeah that's maybe what the simulators have put in the code that the only like he's been going to all these eye surgeons he's like i got 40 million
Starting point is 00:39:36 dollars i got my body in shape i'm the richest man in the world but i can't get this off what can we do to get these eyes to look in the same place? And if I was the simulators or even if I was God or whatever you would believe in, I would put the codes in funny things like that in your destiny. And like, look, if Pete fucks your girl, that will make you so mad that thus your eyes will both bulge and go forward. That would be funny. your eyes will both bulge and go forward. That would be funny.
Starting point is 00:40:07 If I created humanity on the planet and I was watching this for my entertainment, that's what I would do to see if it happens once in a while. You know? That's how you get to level 10 or whatever. That's like the secret menu at In-N-Out Burger. Oh, Bezos. So, great Super Bowl.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Very great Super Bowl. It was a lot of fun. As we covered before on the show, highest rated of all time. Football's doing great. Everyone watches football. The commercials, though. The commercials really piss off Jesse
Starting point is 00:40:42 because Jesse's a real communist. So he doesn't understand why these stars are doing... The Larry David thing bothered you a little bit. I don't know. You're going, Larry, you got the best show on television. It was a funny commercial. It was a funny commercial. But he's got the show.
Starting point is 00:40:55 The show's prestigious. The show's very prestigious. Probably one of the funniest shows of all time. Right. He's got $500 million. At least. That we know about. What's in it for him?
Starting point is 00:41:04 What's in it for Larry David? And why does Larry David look like he's not aging, but is aging at the same time? I mean, you look at the first season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I mean, how much baby blood is this guy being prescribed? He's the same age as he was like 12 years ago. I mean, Curb Your Enthusiasm has been on the air for what? 15 years?
Starting point is 00:41:25 A long time. So it used to be anathema, if you don't know that word against the murderer, for celebrities to do commercials. Nobody wanted to do commercials because they didn't want to be seen as a sellout. Now all celebrities do commercials, right? So maybe that's a boomer opinion you have. Maybe it's totally cool. And it was a crypto,
Starting point is 00:41:48 at least it was a Web3 commercial. But you're saying this is your thing and our thing here. If crypto is the new money, right? Why are they advertising for it? Because you only advertise for things that are products. You seen a commercial for $100 bill no there's no commercial for $100 bill the commercial is for something for you to get your hundred dollar bill it's a product so that makes it suspicious that's only
Starting point is 00:42:16 something a boomer would think about because you know we scrutinize things and we live in the reality that is objective, not the one we wish for. So what's going on here? When you buy an Ethereum, does someone get a service fee? Question. Yes, they do. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:42:48 Oh! Why would you get a service? Why? Don't you want everyone? Aren't you trying to dismantle this system? Don't you want everyone to have Bitcoin? Isn't this about power to the people? Or is this a Ponzi scheme for out of work
Starting point is 00:43:08 afters afters it's okay you throw the sag after the actors you put it together i see where you're going it's okay it's still valid go ahead you guys to be able to continue to not backpedal in lifestyle because they're all unemployed because they're not on Yellowstone, which is the only show out there. They're not making movies or shows anymore. Nobody's making pilots anymore. So is this a Ponzi scheme for quote unquote influencers, out of work actors, and the elite who don't have any skills, don't know how to code, and can't sew a fucking Nike shoe together, for them to be able to get all the money from normal people by convincing them that they need this new form of money.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Who's hawking it to? Matt Damon. When's the last time you saw him in a movie? No. He's not The Rock. He's not Kevin Hart. Matt Damon movies ain't selling in China. Who's in the other? Who's in the gambling commercial?
Starting point is 00:44:14 Ben Affleck. Hocking win too, which is not a good one. Bet MGM all the way, baby. It's grown 600% in six months. Watch Unleashed my podcast I'm gonna re-up my contract for big money is this not a Ponzi scheme
Starting point is 00:44:33 for out of work actors to be able to make a living now that Hollywood is crumbling they're just taking all the money so what do they do Jess it feels like a pump and dump to me. So what they do is they say, buy this thing. Buy this thing.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Use your money to buy this thing. Buy this thing that we bought early and is now worth more so we can make a profit off of it in money. How is this supposed to be the new money if it makes you old money and that's the incentive for you to buy or sell it? I don't get it. I don't understand. I don't understand. Luke said something I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:45:17 I don't understand. I don't understand. Who are the people who bought in early? Oh, people in the know. Who are people in the know? Oh, people who are friends with the people who created this pretend money. People who attend the same parties. Where are those parties? Silicon Valley. They're in Beverly Hills. They're in the Palisades. Newport Road Island. Chevy ChaseC. And they're going, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. Uh-oh, hold on a second.
Starting point is 00:45:47 China's taking over. I don't have any skills. I haven't used these hands to make anything in my whole life ever. I was in movies. Nobody wants us anymore. I'm not The Rock. I'm not exploding things. I was Paul Giamatti's friend.
Starting point is 00:45:59 I played. I was the cab driver in a Paul Giamatti movie. Also, Paul Giamatti wants you to get in on this. Shameless is going off the air or whatever movie he's on that Dan Soder's in. What is that called again? Billions. So what are we going to do to get our millions? What are we going to do to get our millions?
Starting point is 00:46:18 I know what we'll do. We'll create a fake money and convince these fucking dumb young morons that it's going to be worth something in the future. Just like religion does. Be good and you will be compensated in the afterlife. Buy Bitcoin and in the future, you will be rich. Why does this feel like Napoleon Dynamite Step Pop selling fucking plastic plates?
Starting point is 00:46:46 Uncle Rico. Why does it sound like Uncle Rico's hocking me some shit? Why does it sound like I'm talking to a Scientologist? Why do they get defensive like a Scientologist? Go read the comments right now while you're watching this. Yanni doesn't understand Bitcoin. Yanni doesn't understand Bitcoin. Again, once I can tip a stripper who dances in front of me
Starting point is 00:47:08 and she will accept it without me having to give her a speech about being bold and believing in the future and having faith, then I will buy it. I don't need to find a fucking progressive stripper to take my magic new San Francisco money. fucking progressive stripper to take my magic new San Francisco money. Because you know what?
Starting point is 00:47:32 Economies are all built on sex. Sex is the most fundamental you know if you can only see what these ladies of the night are making. They make big money. Okay? Big money. Jeff Bezos' ex-wife.wife big money sex is the raw truth it's what we want it's what people want money for they want money for sex so it's like until i can
Starting point is 00:47:57 i'm not going to do it because i'm a married man just got a new ring okay i bought it my other one was uncomfortable until i can pay for sex with my bitcoin it is not real that is the marker for me okay think about it you go into a strip club right you go to the front door there's some big dudes standing outside there and he goes 20 cover and you go no problem i got point zero zero zero zero zero007% of a Bitcoin, which is worth $300,000 right now. Can you hold my computer? And I'll go in?
Starting point is 00:48:31 And then you go to the stripper and she starts dancing in front of you and she's like, you're not going to tip me, daddy? And you go, of course I'm going to tip you. Do you take Bitcoin? And she goes,
Starting point is 00:48:42 what's Bitcoin? And you go, do you have a couple seconds to talk about Web3? Let me explain what Bitcoin is. In the future on the blockchain, I give you this Bitcoin, you will be able to buy a mass produced cartoon gorilla that Steph Curry has inflated the value of because we're a country that is obsessed with fame. So now that Steph Curry, in what you call insider training fashion, has granted it value,
Starting point is 00:49:10 now everybody wants a cartoon gorilla because behind the scenes, Steph Curry is probably part owner of that cartoon gorilla company. So he's made it famous by putting it on his fucking profile pic. Now everyone wants their fucking original, owned, fucking
Starting point is 00:49:26 cheap cartoon gorilla that Jesse could make in three seconds finger painting it, but now it's worth $50 billion because Steph Curry pretended to buy something from himself. Takes a boomer to know a boomer. Am I making any sense?
Starting point is 00:49:47 Jesse says yes. You got the phone, dog. The phone can do anything. So if you got the phone, I can send you a Bitcoin, you in the strip club. So it looks like in Vegas, there's a club now.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Crazy Horse 3. Okay, well then I'm in. Okay, so stop your comments. I'm in. As long as I can tip a stripper in Bitcoin, it's real. So if you went one step, maybe I sound like the guy who was skeptical about Tesla right now, okay? But until I can go to any run-of-the-mill strip club in Atlanta or New York
Starting point is 00:50:20 or the open mic scene for strip clubs, Tampa. I mean, that's where the girls go to get good. Comics come to New York to get good in comedy. Strippers go to Tampa to fucking work their chops. If I can pay in Bitcoin at any run of the mill, strip club in Tampa, I'm in. It's got to be updated, man. If you have the phone, you can do anything. Strippers are going to have it.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Aiden Ferrin wants me to know that Nano has no fees, bro. So is Nano the future? How many currencies are there? I don't trust that because it's a technological sentence and he ends it with bro. So I don't trust that. Yeah. It's just very weird that there's a lot of people who have become very rich in dollars selling something that's going to be worth something in the future. That reminds me very much of something, how should we call it?
Starting point is 00:51:11 Very familiar. The church. The church. Give me the money now and in the future, you'll be in heaven. You'll be on a beach being carried by a frail Semitic man with a beard, who will introduce you to his father and mother, who's Mary. Pick your religion. They're just like, they're just like,
Starting point is 00:51:42 they're just like cryptocurrencies. There's a bunch of different ones. Okay? You got your Muslim? Those are good. Look, you know how much a $5 tip in a bucket is worth? It's worth 72 versions. Just like.00000037 Bitcoin is worth $100. You put a $5 greenback in a Muslim bucket, that's worth 72.
Starting point is 00:52:10 That's better than Bitcoin. I'll take the 72 virgins. You put it, you got your Muslim currency, you got your non-denominational, and there's a bunch of different ones like that, just like there is crypto. You got your Dogecoin, you got your this, you got your Ep-denominational, and there's a bunch of different ones like that, just like there is crypto. You got your Dogecoin. You got your this. You got your Episcopalian. You got your Protestant.
Starting point is 00:52:30 You got your Church of God in Christ, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And then you got your blue chip churches, the Catholic Church, blue chip. That's like Bitcoin. And then you got the Protestant church. That's Ethereum, right? And then you get the Greek Orthodox church. That's nano. And they all preach wealth in the future.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Wealth in the future in exchange for your wealth now. Give me your wealth now and I will give you eternal wealth. Believe Pastor Damon, Pastor Damon and Pastor Affleck. Pastor Damon. Yeah, you will get your wealth in the future. Promise me. I promise you, I mean. Oh God, people in the comments are gonna be hating, but we all know that's a brilliant analogy and everyone knows that I'm right. Okay, I understand the idea behind it.
Starting point is 00:53:32 Now that's why so many people believe in it because the idea behind it is good. Just like the idea behind communism is good. But it has nothing to do with reality. The idea behind it is we wanna get all these banks, we wanna get the Federal Reserve, we wanna get all these banks. We want to get the Federal Reserve. We want to get all these tech tycoons out of the picture and create our own currency. Maybe in the future, the tenants of that, the premise of that, will be manifested in something like a cryptocurrency.
Starting point is 00:54:00 But right now, this is a little bit like a american dream gold rush everyone's believing in it like a picket fence a two-car garage um like that's not gonna come with prostitutes in thailand and a drinking problem yeah it's not what it's sold to be okay even mcdonald's they don't put the real food in the commercial they put a model that they shellack Jesse has fucking experience with that and then you go
Starting point is 00:54:28 eat the Big Mac it looks nothing like the commercial god damn it it's the super can we pause it yeah yeah guys mental health
Starting point is 00:54:38 is a very important issue that we all need to take very seriously we should all be doing counseling I do it. I use Cerebral. Simone Biles brought this issue to the forefront
Starting point is 00:54:49 as well as a bunch of other athletes, actors, et cetera. And it's good that we're now talking openly about mental health. Cerebral is actually a great site. And would you know it, Simone Biles herself is Cerebral's chief impact officer. She uses Cerebral and advocates for it. So I need you guys to check out this online mental health service. They offer prescription medication, counseling, and therapy for anything, anxiety, depression,
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Starting point is 00:56:06 So also 50% of cerebrals clinicians self-identify as people of color. So they have people of all races, religions, gender, whatever you feel most comfortable with, a cerebral will provide you with a therapist that, you know, makes you feel comfortable. You can always change if you don't like one to another one until you find something that fits just right. So what you do is go to Cerebral.com slash fumes and you will receive 65% off your first month of medication management and care counseling
Starting point is 00:56:39 at Cerebral.com slash fumes. Let me just repeat that. That's 65% off your first month. So that's essentially, you're getting started for $30. That's $30 to join Cerebral today and help Cerebral help you on their mission to make quality mental health care accessible and affordable for all. Absolutely incredible site, Cerebral. Go check it out. Everyone needs to monitor and take care of their mental health. Now that I have a family, I have a kid, I went and got life insurance. It's very important you're proactive and responsible and get yourself life insurance just in case
Starting point is 00:57:16 so you can take care of your loved ones, your family. Now there's a site that helps you through this whole process. It's so daunting trying to figure out which policy to pick, what the policy is, what it means, how much it costs. Thank God for Policy Genius. They do it all for you. It's absolutely incredible. Um, it's a one stop shop to find and buy the insurance that you need. That's really what it is. Uh, you head to policygenius.com. All you got to do is answer a few questions. It's very simple.
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Starting point is 00:58:44 And since 2014, Policy Genius has helped of five-star reviews across Google and Trustpilot. And since 2014, Policy Genius has helped over 30 million people shop for insurance and placed over $120 billion in coverage. So go get yourself covered. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the process of, oh my God, how I'm going to choose, let Policy Genius help you. This is such an amazing, amazing site that walks you through this process that is otherwise just a headache. So head to policygenius.com to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save right now. So it wasn't super, but it was my good friend Chris Italia, the owner of The Stand, the comedy club in New York City. in New York City. As our bonus episode of your extra long day,
Starting point is 00:59:25 we're going to be talking to Chris Italia about his little scrap with the New Republic based on false allegations that he should have sued. He almost sued, but didn't, but they retracted the article. So we're going to talk all about that and that little freaking squeak who wrote it. I never say his name because he's a comedy journalist.
Starting point is 00:59:47 I don't even know that's a thing. That's like a comedy journalist is like, it's worse than an improv performer. It's like being a nurse in elementary school. It's like being a nurse in elementary school, but worse. So we'll talk about that. Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Make sure you go sign up for those bonus episodes. People are absolutely loving them. We've turned it all around on Patreon. It's going good. So that's about that. I've had enough about talking about cryptocurrency. So back to those few comments about Dave Chappelle. Okay, I get it.
Starting point is 01:00:25 A portion of the development was for affordable housing. And by affordable housing, that meant like $200,000 to $400,000 houses, right? So it was like a piece of it, but it was like a big development that there's gonna be a dump there or whatever it was. And people were like, Yanni, the media sold it all wrong.
Starting point is 01:00:42 They did. So I apologize for disseminating disinformation, but don't act like Dave Chappelle wants to live next to people who can afford $200,000 homes either. Okay. If someone called Dave Chappelle and said, hey, Dave Chappelle, we want to put a project building next to your home. You're going to see him at the town meeting again. So my point still stands. Not in my backyard. We're moving on. But your point is taken.
Starting point is 01:01:08 The media did try to smear him because they are going after him for everything. It wasn't that he was objecting to affordable housing per se, right? He was objecting to the whole setup. He was objecting to the whole setup. It would have messed up traffic in the town. They would have put a dump at the center of the town. So aesthetically, it would have been messed up.
Starting point is 01:01:24 But if they were just putting Section 8 housing, he would have totally been fine with it. So your point is taken. He would have loved it, actually. He would have preferred it. He would have preferred it if it was just a whole bunch of project buildings right next to his home in Yellow Springs. So your point is taken because that's what he prefers. He's actually trying to get that done right now. That's what he wants.
Starting point is 01:01:43 He wants. He's like, you know what? I want to build a comedy club. I also want to bring low-income housing to my neighborhood. He wants to move Queensbridge. That's why he moved so far out into the country is because he wanted to be next to low-income urban housing. So, okay, your point is taken,
Starting point is 01:02:01 but my point was just made as well. Same difference, same shit. Nobody likes any change when they live in a small neighborhood, and people move to rich areas for a reason. They don't want to be around poor people. It has nothing to do with race. So you even saying Dave Chappelle hates black people is stupid. Dave Chappelle hates poor people.
Starting point is 01:02:20 There's a lot of poor whites. He's made that very clear in a few specials. He's like, poor white. He feels bad for poor white people. He's not poor. He's not white. He's fine. So he doesn't want any of us poor people.
Starting point is 01:02:39 Dave Chappelle would probably move if I bought a house in his neighborhood. But Prince Andrew is in his neighborhood. Prince Andrew is settling his lawsuit with his accuser who was underage at the time of their meeting. And she's getting paid out. So we all knew that was going to happen, right? Because the taxpayers really do provide for their royal family, don't they? Yep. When they pay the salaries of their royal family,
Starting point is 01:03:17 do you think they knew that a portion of that goes to hush money? For child exploitation, sexual exploitation. So they reached a settlement. They reached a deal with Virginia. Her name was Virginia. And Prince Andrew, if you didn't know, is the queen's second son. The make-believe queen, you know? Like, whatever.
Starting point is 01:03:39 The queen. And he's 61 years old now. And so the settlement is probably obviously disclosed. They can't talk about it, and you won't hear another peep from her because she is going to be busy shopping in Newport, Rhode Island. She will be busy shopping.
Starting point is 01:04:02 This bitch is collecting so many Bitcoins right now, you have no idea. She's rich. So she walks away rich. He walks away being able to continue to deny everything we know he did and he lied about. And rich people just get away with it time and time again. Another example, another example
Starting point is 01:04:22 of what money and power can do. So he's good, right? That's it. He's off. Prince Andrew's off. The best part about the story is that his mom is lending him part of the money. So tomato, tomato, you know? The queen lends a little money to Prince Andrew
Starting point is 01:04:45 for some hush money against a sexual exploitation charge or whatever you want to call it. Jared Harvin's mom picks him up at the airport when he comes in the row with me. Tomato, tomato. Both two good kids
Starting point is 01:04:58 whose moms are still in their life. One's 61, one's 24. Tomato, tomato. There's his fucking mom 12 mil 12 mil of the taxpayers money because let me tell you this right now the queen doesn't have a job she doesn't have a side hustle delivering packages for amazon this is the taxpayers money how is england gonna let this happen how do they let this happen how How can the queen, what does she have, private investments? From what? What job has she ever had?
Starting point is 01:05:29 This is ridiculous. Why is there not a bigger uproar over this? How do rich people get away with this shit? She may have OnlyFans that we don't know about. Some of them feet pics, dog. People see those blue veins, they might go crazy, son. There you go. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:05:43 I am remiss. It's murder. I'm remiss. You're smarter. I'm remiss. I stand corrected. Apparently she does have an OnlyFans we don't know about because that's the only place she could have conceivably come up with that money. OnlyFans. I'd check it out. If the queen had her
Starting point is 01:05:59 OnlyFans, I'd see what she was working with. I'd see what she was working with. See them shingles right near the big foot. See them cankles right near the big foot yeah seen them cankles yeah of course so there you have it Prince Andrew's off the hook taxpayers again this is another example of
Starting point is 01:06:15 socialism bailing out capitalism the taxpayers bailing out a company if you will a brand if you will the royal family bailing them out from scandal. All I have to say is one word, scandalous. I just don't understand. Do newscasters take a fart break?
Starting point is 01:06:39 Because I just did. Chris Cuomo talking of sexual assault allegations from poor people you know poor Chris Cuomo I mean what he's had to deal with man you know living in that basement for 7 to 10 days
Starting point is 01:06:56 in his Hampton homes you know he probably he's got a few so apparently there's another sexual assault allegation against Chris Cuomo. Now, that's what she says. Look at this. The woman who was reportedly haunted by the parallels of her own situation
Starting point is 01:07:16 and those of the women accusing then-Governor Andrew of sexual harassment. During a lunch. Chris Cuomo fired after CNN learned of alleged sex. During a lunch. Chris Cuomo fired after CNN learned of alleged sex attack during office lunch. Ooh, Chrissy Cuomo. Now, this is the Chris Cuomo. There was another woman who wrote an article about how they met.
Starting point is 01:07:37 She was a coworker of his. She was with her husband, and they were at a bar. This was a story that kind of came and went, but he did not deny. He said said he apologized the misunderstanding whatever it was and this woman actually kind of liked Chris Cuomo but what happened was she was sitting with her husband at the bar Chris Cuomo walk it walked in to meet them for drinks and Chris Cuomo grabbed her ass that was a New York Times article in front of her husband mm He's probably throwing back a few.
Starting point is 01:08:05 Maybe he's throwing back a few. Maybe he was just being Italian. Right, he's Italian. Hey, mama, so good to see you. It's a bell. Oh, it's a bell. It's a bell. Oh, it's a bell.
Starting point is 01:08:18 It's a bell. It's a bell. It's a bell. It's a bell. It's a bell. It's a bell. It's a bell. It's a bell.
Starting point is 01:08:22 It's a bell. It's a bell. It's a bell. Chris Kenneth said, I'm a Chabela. Oh, Chabela. Chris kind of said it. Chris Attai is here. Yeah, look, if you want to get sexually harassed, all you got to do is sightsee in Italy. It'll happen.
Starting point is 01:08:36 They'll pull your arm. It's like a Lenny and Squiggy episode. So what happened? The young worker, what's the meat of the story? What did he do? How do you get attacked at a lunch in the office? He attacked a female ABC temp worker
Starting point is 01:09:01 when she denied his proposal for sex during a lunch. He attacked her. The acquisition was cbn lawyers in december hours after cuomo was suspended um the unnamed accusers come forward um jane doe had long been disgusted by the similarities between the democrats accusers play and her own so it's this is he said she said right i mean like you know we don't know. There's no evidence, right? So it's one of those things. He probably had that locked door like Matt Lauer.
Starting point is 01:09:31 Matt Lauer had the locked door. He had the Dr. Evil. You ain't going nowhere. Yeah. I don't know. You know, these things, it's like she could be looking for a payout. Let's just be honest. Like he's fired already. Oh, there's similarities between.
Starting point is 01:09:46 Could he have hit on her? May probably. Could have been a misunderstanding. Maybe he was reaching for her man of good and he caught a titty on the way. You know? Yeah. I apologize if there was any misunderstanding. As your governor, me and my brother,
Starting point is 01:10:18 we were raised different than you were. We're Italian-American where it's hard to tell the difference between a voluptuous Jersey grown tomato and breasts. Those are hard. Our mother raises us always to communicate with our hands. Much like the Italia brothers
Starting point is 01:10:37 who understand. Who don't have a reputation for reaching for anything. And when you see the bonus episode he only has a reputation for reaching for anything. And when you see the bonus episode, he only has a reputation for reaching for tomatoes. Chris will prefer a tomato over a titty. And you can see that by his stature. Okay, the kid loves, man, a gut.
Starting point is 01:11:02 Chris Cuomo, I look at him, I'm like, that's a guy who likes to grab asses. You look at Chris Italia, you go, that's a guy that loves to grab a lasagna. Yeah. I know where it's at. Yeah. Patriot.com slash Yanni Longes for the,
Starting point is 01:11:17 keep it hush hushing on the QT. Remember from LA Confidential? It's going to be a great episode. So, Chris Cuomo, talk about kicking a guy when he's down. He's already down, but if you can get a couple milli off him, why not? I heard Cuomo was running for
Starting point is 01:11:35 AG. Which one? Which one of the Craze brothers are you talking about? Andrew. Which one of the sexual Craze brothers? Andrew? Andrew's trying to get back in. He's trying to get back in. Oh one of the sexual craze brothers? Andrew? Andrew's trying to get back in. He's trying to get back in. Oh, boy. It's funny that they try to get back in. You remember Carlos Danger tried to get back in.
Starting point is 01:11:52 Hillary obviously did get back in a few times. These are new strands of COVID. They just keep coming. They keep coming. He's trying to take the office of the one who got rid of him. They keep coming. He's trying to take the office of the one who got rid of him. I've totally understood the wrong of my ways. The heroism I displayed during the pandemic has taught me
Starting point is 01:12:20 there's millions of ways to solve the inequities we have and I feel like I could best serve this country by running again for office I'm Andrew Cuomo and I wear nipple rings guys just go just stop Cuomo brothers it's time to retire early
Starting point is 01:12:45 Okay? Like an Italian man who made a lot of cash Laundering money for the mob at his pizza place You've made your sack You don't keep going Okay? The mob got their cut You got yours
Starting point is 01:12:58 Go raise your own tomatoes and zucchinis In your garden in Jersey Okay? And open an all-cash Italian specialty store and then go buy a piece at a new Staten Island ferry and get in with the Italian brothers and Pete Davidson.
Starting point is 01:13:14 Are the Cuomo silent investors on the fucking Staten Island ferry? Okay. Good. Is this crossing the line? I have a problem. You're joking. Obviously, the Italia brothers are the good ones, and the Cuomo brothers are the bad.
Starting point is 01:13:34 Oh, yeah. You don't put cheese. You trying to put cheese? I tell you something, Sebastian. You don't put cheese on a seafood pasta. What's wrong with you? Are you fucking crazy? You're going to fucking get me killed.
Starting point is 01:13:51 My mother's here. Ma! You didn't see nothing. I'm sorry about this. I brought him over. I'm sorry. I didn't know. You know how they are.
Starting point is 01:13:59 You know how they fucking are. I'm trying to show them what to do here. He's not a Thai. It's not his fault. I apologize. Now, my mother's going to bring you another fucking are. I'm trying to show them what to do here. He's not Italian. It's not his fault. I apologize. Now, my mother's gonna bring you another fucking plate. If you reach for that cheese,
Starting point is 01:14:10 I gotta fucking kick you out of here. Okay, that's a fucking fried diavolo. See for it. You don't put fucking cheese on there. Desgracia.
Starting point is 01:14:19 I mean, goddamn, your sister's ass. Italians, they're cerebral. Let's talk about one of our favorite stories that we were having a good time with. And of course, Jared is an education expert.
Starting point is 01:14:39 He was a social worker for 10 years. He also was a school psychologist in Long Island. So Montessori schools montessori they were invented by a woman who was very progressive at the time i guess any time name i think her name was maria montessori speaking of sauce that sounds like a name who could make one yep um now she created these schools that were very progressive in that there's no grades it's it's very much based on the child's interest there's inter-age classes that there's no grades. It's very much based on the child's interest.
Starting point is 01:15:06 There's inter-age classes, et cetera. There's so many progressive methods. It reviews and works very well. I think, Jesse, your brothers went, right? Very similar to a lot of the elements in Montessori schools you see now in the Finnish public education system and they are now ranked number one in the world in education. No homework. There's a lot of progressive things and ideas. No grades in Montessori schools. Also, probably not
Starting point is 01:15:35 cheap. Montessori schools are not public. Not cheap. So, our story takes us to Boston. Our story takes us to Boston, Massachusetts, where at a Montessori school, a preschool teacher
Starting point is 01:15:55 or kindergarten teacher, I mean, these children look tiny. Unless she's teaching midgets, at least these are just little people. Preschool. Yeah, no, unless this is an audition for like a dwarf commercial. These look like preschool kids.
Starting point is 01:16:11 They're preschoolers, right? Yeah. Preschool, okay. So yeah, a preschooler. This is a Montessori preschool. So at the preschool, a, oh God. God bless this woman. I guess she wanted to use some progressive methods
Starting point is 01:16:29 to, you know, teach preschoolers about black history. So what she did is she decided, in her good decision-making, to have the children... Oh, my God, I'm looking at the picture, draw black faces with white eyes on paper plates. She did not call me for the suggestion. And the children held up the black paper plates over their face. Essentially forcing these kids into some sort of mass blackface role play that they didn't sign up for. Okay.
Starting point is 01:17:19 There's a lot to unpack here. Now here's a teacher who is obviously trying to be ultra, ultra, ultra progressive. Ultra bending over backwards to teach these kids, okay, it's Black History Month. What can I do? She was sitting at home. She had all these options. She's like, okay, what can we do? They're preschoolers.
Starting point is 01:17:39 So what should I do? Should I show them Ken Burns' Civil War four-hour documentary? Not good enough. Can I show them Roots? No, no, that's probably a little too young for them. What else can I do? Should I take them to an old plantation in South Carolina and explain to them what a whipping post is?
Starting point is 01:18:04 No, they're probably too old for that. What can I do that's appropriate for preschoolers during Black History Month? Blackface. Blackface. Let me think of something that's very non-controversial. I'll make them put on blackface so then they can feel what it's like to be black or to honor black people. I'll make them all black in effigy for 45 minutes and make sure someone's there to take photos to post on our school's website to show how progressive we are at the Montessori schools. Now, as you can imagine, this caused a little bit of an uproar when it got out, that there was a teacher making,
Starting point is 01:18:52 imagine you were a parent and you got a call and you're like, we've put Mrs. Cranberry, Mrs. Cranberry is on leave. And you're going, what's wrong, Mrs. Cranberry? And you're from Boston, so you're going, what's fucking wrong? I love fucking Mrs. Cranberry. You're from Boston, so you're going, what's fucking wrong? I love fucking Mrs. Cranberry. She's a fucking good teacher, kid.
Starting point is 01:19:09 And they're going, well, Mrs. Cranberry decided to call an audible today and implemented some of her own ideas on how the kids could celebrate Black History Month. There's going to be a picture. Yeah, unfortunately, little Susan's in the picture. Well, you can't tell because she's holding a black paper plate over her face,
Starting point is 01:19:32 but that is your daughter. You'll see it in the Boston Globe tomorrow, so we wanted to call you first, Mrs. Collins. Mrs. Collins. Mrs. Hunting we just wanted to let you know that your kid was in blackface
Starting point is 01:19:48 our school will be open next year thank you goodbye we apologize we will settle whatever you're supposed to we will settle for it thank you goodbye what's going on here Jared
Starting point is 01:20:01 I think it's it's very brave of Ms. Cranberry. I think she's a visionary because these are the only face coverings that are supported in Boston. It's very brave of her. It's a little hardcore to have that with kids to do that, do blackface. Because kids, like you said, they're innocent. They're pure. So just have them do kid stuff.
Starting point is 01:20:22 Have them only eat the black side of a black and white cookie If you want to encourage that type of equality There you go Take the Oreo, get rid of the cream The supreme cream Get rid of that and just have them eat the chocolate cookies Same objective is achieved Without the kids having to put Blackface paper plates over their face
Starting point is 01:20:40 Or maybe Since these kids are so mature And grown, maybe she could have just served them their coffee black yep to make the statement um i'm not sure if you really need to go into detail uh about uh black history month with preschoolers you could maybe just say hey guys it's black history month you know we're you know if you're black this is your hit we love you know america say things very positive talk to them like they're preschoolers, and then skip the blackface and go straight to coloring with crayons, and that's it, and nap time and juice box time.
Starting point is 01:21:15 Let's skip the paper plate blackface section of the lesson. I mean, this is hilarious dog okay kids before you put your black faces up I want to teach you a little bit about what used to happen to slaves now there was something called an overseer
Starting point is 01:21:39 and then after this we're going to talk about the holocaust what we're going to talk about the Holocaust. What we're going to have you kids do is after you're done holding up your black faces and talking to each other in Ebonics to celebrate Black History Month, we're going to starve you kids for a month straight. No food. Okay. And we're going to put you in tiny little bunk beds over each other so we can talk about the Holocaust. Get in your little bunk bed.
Starting point is 01:22:11 It's nap time. Yeah, six of you per cot. Is that a demonetizer right there? No. Okay. Who the hell knows? Who knows this time? We'll talk about the holocaust okay and the way
Starting point is 01:22:28 we're going to talk about the holocaust is we're gonna do a little bit of baking today we're gonna bake we're gonna make these gingerbread cookies but these gingerbreads are going to be shaped okay that's a's a good, that gingerbread is good. That's good, Susie. That's good. Yeah, now where's the yarmulke? Okay, now this one is a gypsy, so make the nose
Starting point is 01:22:53 a little more crooked. Okay, now put, now put them in the oven. Okay, now we wait on 375 for 45 minutes. And that's the holocaust kids um mrs crabtree can i talk to you for a second um yeah um i just got a complaint um from a kid's parents at your school yeah yeah no i'm calling you from montessori corporate in Rome. Yes. Do you have a Noah Blomblat in your class? Yes.
Starting point is 01:23:29 Yeah, well, his parents just told me that you were putting gingerbread cookies in the oven teaching them about the Holocaust. I thought it would be a good lesson for them. This is a Montessori school. We use different methods. The cookies were delicious. What was she thinking? I don't know. I would like to see her curriculum plan though yeah yeah it'll go civil rights holocaust kamir rouge the killing
Starting point is 01:23:53 of mike brown okay kids um uh we're gonna start today talking about ferguson missouri the textbook is white fragility yeah but let's backtrack to the Armenian Genocide of 1800. Kids, do you know who the Cossacks were? Kids, Genghis Khan. You're at a Montesquieu school. We do things a little different. Genghis Khan did things a little different. Kids, we're going to talk about Nero today, who married his horse and his eunuch.
Starting point is 01:24:27 And then juice time. So the Montessori school actually, they shut down. They got fired. She got fired, but not only did they get fired, they shut down. And then of course, let me guess. I haven't even finished the article, but please let me guess. Is Montessori investing in diversity programs, diversity training, diversity? What are they doing?
Starting point is 01:24:57 They're doing something. Are they giving to charities? What are they doing? Are they, what are they doing for Black History Month to make up for this? And the money better talk. I don't know, but they took down their Facebook account.
Starting point is 01:25:09 They took down their Facebook account and, yeah. I mean, how do you fix this? I mean, does Flagrant 2
Starting point is 01:25:17 got to do a live podcast from there? That, and you got to open the school through meta. You got to open the school through meta. And you have to give
Starting point is 01:25:22 everybody a black avatar. That's it. And we're done. That's it. And we're done. That's it. So I don't, this is, imagine just getting this call if you were a parent.
Starting point is 01:25:32 And like, this is not what I envisioned when I signed my kid up for Montessori school. Yeah, man. How about a little math? A little reading? A little math.
Starting point is 01:25:40 How about a little choo-choo train push? A little recess. Yeah. What happened to the clay? Are kids playing with clay anymore? Have the kids play basketball. They're going to find out how important black people are. So a very fun story coming out of Boston, Massachusetts.
Starting point is 01:25:58 And then we have another fun story uh out of uh arizona a priest apparently had been doing his communions wrong jared is that what it is yeah so i believe he was giving either communions or baptisms and the prayer that he was saying he said the word wrong he said the actual prayer wrong so therefore it invalidated all the baptisms that he did, and he's done like about a thousand of them over the years. So he retired, said, yo, my fault, y'all, and he just peaced. Now, everyone that got a baptism, they're not really appreciated by the Lord. So the baptisms are invalid. So they're not getting into heaven.
Starting point is 01:26:37 So they don't get into heaven this way? So all the good deeds they've been doing are just erased? Yeah. deeds they've been doing are just erased yeah so if you had a wrong baptism but let me if you were like if you went and you only worked with poor people and every you didn't tell a lie your entire life still means nothing yeah you're not getting into heaven because your father has the same literacy skills as floyd mayweather this is what i this is what i love about religious law is it's so just it's as easy to understand as Bitcoin.
Starting point is 01:27:09 So are they suing? Are these people suing now? That's probably going to sue. It's the Catholic Church. You know they got money. Yeah. Imagine some of these kids who were baptized like I knew something was up. I knew there was a reason why I was constantly going to prostitutes and doing meth. Yeah. It had to do with me having a bad baptism.
Starting point is 01:27:27 I would have been a good Christian kid, had this priest done the right thing and did an accurate baptism. Instead, I cheated on my wife, I got a drinking problem, and I stole from my company's supply room. And had sex with my priest. And, yeah, I had sex with my priest just because my priest doesn't know how to use nouns yes what do you say that was wrong he said wait we baptized you in the name of the Father and the end of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and it's supposed to be I baptize you in the name of the Father whoa boomer Church well whoa whoa whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Boomer church. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 01:28:05 This was a priest who chose to use different pronouns. Okay? That is not his problem. That's your problem. Please use his pronouns. Respect the pronouns that he uses. That's it. So they're going to...
Starting point is 01:28:19 This church could open a very lucrative Catholic church right now in Portland and be completely fine. Be fine. He would say, come they, come nosotros, come we, come zubis. open a very lucrative Catholic church right now in Portland and be completely fine. Be fine. He would say, come they, come nosotros, come we, come Zubis, you Zubi. What if he was just doing very progressive baptisms? Yeah, man. What if the baby said, call me we? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:37 What if the baby was a they? The baby could have been a they. Baby could have been a they. You got to be progressive, you know, do the baptism and some kombucha juice. We is that is not we is that is not the community the baptized person rather it is Christ
Starting point is 01:28:50 it was Christ until things changed y'all's the queen um very funny very very
Starting point is 01:29:00 funny so we'll end on this two things we gotta talk about the Tindler Swindler a little bit. Say that word one more time. Tindler Swindler. Here you go.
Starting point is 01:29:11 The Tindler Swindler. Here he is. The kid. You don't call that swag. What do you call that when somebody's just dripped? Kid is dripped out. Kid rolls dripped out and every single accessory and piece of clothing you see on him or around him was paid for by swindled women from twinder twinder
Starting point is 01:29:38 that's a tough one swindle t Tinder swindler. Tinder swindler. Now here's the thing. This documentary tries... Did you watch it? Oh, I watched a little bit of it, yeah. You saw it, Chris? Tinder swindler? No?
Starting point is 01:29:55 You haven't seen it, Jesse? No. The Tinder swindler is on Netflix right now. Everyone's talking about it. I think there was a rapper who already took a picture with the Tinder swindler. So here's this guy. I think there was a rapper who already took a picture with the Tindallers. So here's this guy.
Starting point is 01:30:10 He was an Israeli kid from Israel who was wanted by the law in Israel for fraud. Kid was like, he was like the Leonardo DiCaprio on Catch Me If You Can in Israel. Okay? Except he was, you know, stealing yarmulkes, whatever he was stealing, you know? Falafels, hummus, whatever he was stealing. Right? And he fled the country and he upped his game a little bit. He started meeting women on Tinder
Starting point is 01:30:31 and the story starts where he meets the first woman and he takes her on a private jet. He meets at a hotel, takes her in a private jet, flies her to another country, bangs her out the first night. Now, she's a Norwegian woman living in London, right? She bangs him out on the first night,
Starting point is 01:30:52 decides to go on a jet plane ride with him. Let me guess, because his personality and his sense of humor were irresistible. His sense of kindness and empathy was so irresistible. All the charity work he was doing really piqued your interest. So you had to go and get on his private plane and fly with him to Copenhagen and fuck him on the first night. First night. So, he fucks this fucking desperate barracuda in his Copenhagen fucking five-star hotel room, which is unbeknownst to her being paid for by some previous bitch that he's pimping out
Starting point is 01:31:35 because he's got like this Ponzi scheme going where one chick he's with pays for the next one. And his scheme is, that's how he starts it. So he basically is showing the woman that he's got a lot of money. He's an important person. He changed his name to be the son of some diamond maker
Starting point is 01:31:53 in Israel who's famous. Right? They never question it. They never do anything. They just check his Instagram and see that he's hanging around expensive cars. That's all it takes
Starting point is 01:32:02 to win over some peace. That's all it takes. win over some peace. That's all it takes. It doesn't take a long resume of good doings. It just takes a couple of photos next to a Lamborghini. And I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? Okay? I've been
Starting point is 01:32:19 trying to prove over and over again with these podcasts that women have smaller brains. Case and point. Scandinavian women, even smaller. Even smaller. I've seen the autopsy photos. So, then he's like, I have to go do business. My hotel, I'm in Israel.
Starting point is 01:32:45 I have to go. I have other business. I have to go do business. My hotel, I'm in Israel. I have to go. I have other business. I have to go. And so he just flies off. And they basically communicate over WhatsApp for their whole relationship. I think he only banged her once, really. He maybe saw her twice. Somehow in this, he convinces her, I have a lot of enemies that are to get me,
Starting point is 01:33:03 constantly trying to get me. I'm a very important person from Israel. The enemy is trying to get me, constantly trying to get me. I'm a very important person from Israel. The enemy is trying to get me. And then I send a picture of me and my bodyguard. And we have, they hit us in the head and they tried to kill us. And I can't use my money. I can't use my own money. Somehow the jump goes from my enemies are trying to kill me.
Starting point is 01:33:24 And when you watch this, you'll see this. I'm recounting because it's so funny. The jump goes from I have enemies everywhere. Who are these enemies? Enemies. The enemies. Which enemies? Enemies.
Starting point is 01:33:36 Trying to kill me. Right? They hit my bodyguard over the head with something. And somehow it goes from that to now I can't use my money. I can't use my money. And the woman, to her credit, asks, hey, why can't you use your money? He just puts one word, untraceable. Needs to be untraceable. And she just goes, got it. Understood. What should I do? He goes, wire me $25,000. She goes, I don't have $25,000. He goes, easy.
Starting point is 01:34:14 Take out the credit card. American Express. She goes, I'll never get that line of credit. He goes, let me write you as a fake employee of my fake company your salary is nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars a week I think that's
Starting point is 01:34:32 no it was ninety five thousand dollars a week was her salary so he created some fraudulent paperwork she didn't once question she's met him once right because he was on a fancy plane and he had Gucci sunglasses her pussy's all
Starting point is 01:34:46 making squishy noises then she does it this scandinavian broad opens up an account he maxes that one out she still doesn't have questions you maxed it out yes enemies enemies he goes open another one what does she do she goes i don't have the goes, open another one. What does she do? She goes, I don't have the money to open another one. He goes, take a loan. So she goes to one bank, gets a $30,000 loan, sends it to him. He maxes that out. I'm not making this up. You can watch it for yourself. He maxes that out. He goes, I need more money. She goes, I don't have any more money. Now I'm in debt. He goes, it's only a couple of weeks. I'm going to send you the money. She goes, are you sure? Do you pinky swear? Do you pinky swear?
Starting point is 01:35:28 He's like, of course. We've known each other for three days. How could you question me? She opens another fucking loan from another bank. She takes another loan out. To the tune of $250,000 she sends this guy. Meanwhile, he's using that money because he's not running from enemies. He's with another girl in Milan,
Starting point is 01:35:50 pimping her out, using that money, showing her he's rich, so then he can run the same scam on her. And they show all these girls have the same pictures of the security guard getting hit over the head.
Starting point is 01:36:00 And I'm supposed to feel bad for these broads? This guy's a fucking American hero and he's not even American. Can we just take a second to honor a guy who's taking the balance of power back a little bit? You guys got all the power, women, okay? Everyone wants the money to get the pos-pos. Case in point, what's this guy pretending to have to get pos-pos? Is he pretending to have a diploma in social work?
Starting point is 01:36:30 Because you know how hot women find that. Is he pretending to be a huge philanthropist? Is he working with children in the inner city? Is that what made these women trust him so much? Was it his record of good deeds? Was it his time at the UN sewing arms back onto children who were mining for diamonds?
Starting point is 01:37:00 Somebody's got to hold these fucking women accountable. You get married, you got to buy them a $20,000 fucking ring that, you know, basically came with three African arms being sawn off. And I'm supposed to be like, oh, this is just fine. Here's your little fucking diamond,
Starting point is 01:37:15 your fucking blood diamond. That, oh, the symbol of my love is fucking 10 grand on your finger. Fuck you. Where's my fucking ring? Mm-hmm. Well, your ring can't fit under your finger because Fuck you! Where's my fucking ring? Well, your ring can't fit under your finger because you have hypertension.
Starting point is 01:37:29 But besides that, you're right. Besides that. But I mean, you know what I mean? It's like we're supposed to act like women aren't into money.
Starting point is 01:37:37 They're into money. There's some women watching this thing. Not me. Yeah, really? Oh, so if Derek Jeter knocked on your door tomorrow, you're not going to leave the guy Barry you're with who's working another shift at Sheetz outside of
Starting point is 01:37:49 Pittsburgh to get in a private plane with Derek Jeter and go to Switzerland I mean really so he's he's playing on that vulnerability he's playing on that blind spot that women have for, oh my God, the luxury life. Women love that luxury life. So he's playing on that and stealing their money. So he's taking one for the male sex. I salute the tiddler swiddler, and I can't wait to watch part two
Starting point is 01:38:21 where he gets plastic surgery and does it all over again. Well, it looks like you're going to be hearing a lot from him because he's doing his own podcast now. Of course he is. That's the way to do it. Of course he is. A dating podcast. And I'm sure businesses are hiring him as a consultant
Starting point is 01:38:34 on how they can trick us all into buying their shitty product. I bet you right now he's a fucking, fuck it, I don't want to do Raycon anymore anyway. He's a Raycon spokesperson. Good product, Raycon. It's a fucking, fuck it, I don't want to do Raycon anymore anyway. He's a Raycon spokesperson. Good product, Raycon. It's a great product. I'm just kidding. He's a consultant for Raycon right now on how he could make Raycon as good as earbuds.
Starting point is 01:38:57 It's all in how you package it. It's the sale, not the product. Kid's smart. Kid's brilliant. I mean, that type of brilliant. He's got a criminal mind. Kid's smart. Kid's brilliant. I mean, that type of brilliant. He's got a criminal mind. Big deal. He makes life interesting.
Starting point is 01:39:08 The Tindler Swindler. Check it out. And then lastly, let's talk about this Hillary thing. What is going on here? Did Hillary bug Donald Trump's office? I don't know what to believe because it's not on CNN yet. So I don't know what to believe because it's not on CNN yet. So I don't know. CNN is how I found out
Starting point is 01:39:31 Joe Rogan was snorting horse paste. We don't really know what to make of this story. Apparently, some typically right-wing outlets are reporting, and of course,ucker carlson reported that um now the whole russiagate was sort of a ruse invented and created by hillary and her campaign to discredit donald trump and it was because some what was it legal advisor to her campaign dropped dime about it.
Starting point is 01:40:07 We already knew that the Steele dossier was funded by the campaign, right? The research for the Steele dossier. And the Steele dossier turned out to be bullshit. Now, somehow that just got wiped away because Donald Trump is the devil, you know, in their eyes. But now this is coming back into the news, at least some right-wing news.
Starting point is 01:40:23 I don't know if it's true or not. What's the main thrust behind this story? Now, another piece of Russia, a computer server operated by Trump's company was secretly communicating with a Russian firm, claims Slate Magazine and endless Twitter threads of would-be tech experts. But as special counsel John Durham outlines in his latest indictment, that was just a story made up by tech executive Rondi Joff, who desperately wanted a job with the Clinton administration. He hacked Trump servers, cherry-picked privileged internet data he had access to, and molded it to look like something nefarious. like something nefarious.
Starting point is 01:41:06 He was coached by lawyer Michael Sussman. Now, Michael Sussman, he's the one who was being paid by the Clinton administration. Although he lied about that to investigators, Sussman goes to the FBI as a concerned citizen, not a Clinton stooge, to try to get them to bite. The ultimate goal, be able to leak to the Times
Starting point is 01:41:25 that Trump is under official investigation. Durham definitely showed that the Hillary Clinton campaign directly funded and ordered its lawyers at Perkins Coal to orchestrate a criminal enterprise to fabricate a connection between President Trump and Russia, says Kash Patel, the former chief investigator of the House Intelligence Committee. So that's pretty big allegations.
Starting point is 01:41:56 Is it true? Is that why we're not seeing it in the other press? I guess we'll follow this as this develops, but this is bad if that's true. Stay tuned to Tucker. I mean, that's the only person talking about it, right? But that doesn't mean it's not true. Tucker in the post. But it also could mean it's not true.
Starting point is 01:42:14 We just don't know. That's why people don't trust the press anymore. But if this is true, I would assume that's very bad, right? Very bad. Hacking into other people's records, you know? To try to create a false story to malign a candidate. Yeah, you can't do all that to make it seem like another man is cheating
Starting point is 01:42:33 when you can't prevent your own husband from cheating. Exactly. That's just 101 of ethics right there. There's a lot of stories coming out that Hillary Clinton is a little less than chased. I hate to bust people's bubble. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Pete Davidson has a tattoo of her on his arm. Do you think he's going to change that tattoo to Kim Kardashian? Clinton campaign pain to infiltrate Trump Tower. Let's see what they say about it. Of course, this is Fox, but what can you do?
Starting point is 01:43:07 They're right sometimes. They were right about the Covington kids. They were the only ones reporting it. All right, let's... Commercial. It was a little commercial. Yeah, the person who owns this cancer foundation turned out to be a con man that was able to bank a lot of women who were so impressed by his work with cancer patients.
Starting point is 01:43:39 Amazon. Oh, it's an Amazon commercial. Yeah, they don't try to tug at your heartstrings at all. Thanks, Julie. Well, it was a busy year for special counsel John Durham. Hillary Clinton's campaign lawyer, Michael Sussman, and Steele dossier source, Igor Danchenko, were both indicted as part of Durham's investigation
Starting point is 01:43:55 into the origins of the FBI's Trump-Russia probe. So what can we expect as both trials are slated to begin next year? Let's bring in former federal prosecutor James Trustee. So they were indicted. So this is true. They wouldn't say these people were indicted if they weren't. Them being indicted means it's true, right? Sounds like it. All right, let's see what they say. Thanks so much for being with us today. And I just want to pull up on the screen a breakdown of how this probe has moved on since it first started. In May 2019, then Attorney General Barr assigned Durham to examine the origins of the Trump Russia probe. In August 2020,
Starting point is 01:44:37 we had a first guilty plea. October 2020, it became a special council. 2021, we had three major events, three indictments there. And then December 2021, they revealed that it had spent $3.8 million so far. So when you look back at the past year, certainly a big uptick in activity. And I just wonder what that tells you about it, if they're getting closer to perhaps to the conclusion. Yeah, I think it's really getting closer to its natural conclusion. It's going to be very interesting in 2022, in part because of some recent things. The Danchenko indictment specifically and a recent motion that they filed regarding a potential conflict of interest for a law firm really tells most people,
Starting point is 01:45:21 or tells me at least, that they are zooming in microscopically at the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign. They're looking very closely at people that basically fueled the Russian dossier creation and transportation of that dossier to the willing eyes of the FBI where it was used to spy on people. Okay, that was like an older story. That's been going on for a couple years. That's been known that the dossier ended up being false based on bullshit. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:47 So basically right now they're zooming into the Clinton campaign being behind the creation of the funding, the creation of the dossier eventually, and now this as well. The scenes, what we're not going to hear about for some time probably, is they're really scrutinizing communications maybe all the way up to Hillary about whether or not these communications are attorney-client privileged or whether there's a basis for being able to use them in an open courtroom. Yeah and that conflict of interest that you discussed there is that Danchenko was represented by the same law firm that represented the Hillary campaign. So certainly they'll be looking into that. Now, the special counsel designation,
Starting point is 01:46:27 it provides an additional degree sort of insulation. Okay, so I get it. So the law firm that represented DeChenko or whatever his fucking name is, also represented the Hillary Clinton campaign. But he's just going to allege that one thing had nothing to do with the other. She'll get off scot-free.
Starting point is 01:46:45 And there'll be nothing to it because that's the way'll get off scot-free. No points of conflict. And there'll be nothing to it because that's the way it goes. That's the way it goes in this country. If you're caught with a nickel bag or a dime bag of weed, you got to go to prison for 20 years. But if you're caught doing high malfeasance like this, there is a cover. There's always a story. There's always a way to get out of it. All these people know each other. They know the reporters.
Starting point is 01:47:03 They go to the same parties. They figure out a way to make it all spun nice. It's like they are gift wrappers at a department store and they bought you a shit gift, but it comes in a nice box with nice wrapping paper and a nice bullshit bow. So take your fucking present, swallow it, and keep screaming about how everyone hates everybody else while these people walk away sipping champagne laying down in first class in delta in first class on the delta bed hopefully i'm in another one because i don't give a shit i'm willing to be paid off ccp call me all right guys we want to give a shout-out to our small business sponsors.
Starting point is 01:47:45 We appreciate each and every one of you, and we want you guys to interact with these shout-outs, with these small businesses, and use them. If you need the particular service that they offer, support small business just like we're doing right here, and they will support you back by giving you a little something off the top, a little haircut. So I want to welcome our newest small business sponsor.
Starting point is 01:48:06 I'm very happy because I love this guy's name, Nicola Ragusa. This guy, he does a LASIK eye surgery. So if you're in New York City, go to OCNY, see Dr. Ragusa and Astoria Queens. You got the home of the Greeks. Go see Dr. Ragusa in Astoria, Queens. You got the home of the Greeks. Go see Dr. Ragusa. Nicola. Is he Greek? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:48:32 Tell us if you're Greek. Whether your eyes are normally spaced apart or mine. So he put that in so he deserves credit. That guy's a joke writer. Yeah.
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Starting point is 01:49:27 Check out Dr. Nicola Ragusa right now. Get your eyes corrected or an eye exam. If you're in New York City, that's your guy. Use it. 10% off. Thank you. We welcome you, Dr. Ragusa. Now we got Longshore Coffee out there in Rhode Island.
Starting point is 01:49:43 I got my bag. Jesse got our bag. And let me tell you something. This is delicious coffee. I hope you stay with us because I'm going to start talking about you at the beginning of the episode too. Because that's how much I like the coffee. I'm going to start working it in. I want people to buy it.
Starting point is 01:49:56 Nobody should be doing the Carricks. Nobody should be doing the Carricks because you're drinking plastic. It's no good. It's a discrecia. So Longshore Coffee. Stephen Miller, the owner of Longshore Coffee up there in Rhode Island. It's a new small batch
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Starting point is 01:50:46 Me and my wife are drinking it right now. Send more. Nate Linder, your social media managing guru. natelinder.com. This kid will do everything. Video advertising is expected to boom in 2022, guys. So hit him up. Be a part of the new wave coming.
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Starting point is 01:52:32 It's absolutely amazing art up there by local Bronx artists. So it's thebronxbrand.com. Go up there right now. Get 15% off your order with the promo code FUMES, which I forgot to put in, by the way. So I paid full price for my Greek Diner Coffee Cup, the famous Greek Diner Coffee Cup shirt, which is litty. Then ExclusiveAutoShipping.com from aboard Jared Z. If you're moving your car anywhere in the United States or the world, get your free quote from ExclusiveAutoShipping.com right now.
Starting point is 01:53:04 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. There's three spots open right now. So if you want a small business shout out, do it. Or if they don't fill up, I'm going to close it out at D7. Remember, you will stay with me for as big as this podcast gets. This podcast continues to get bigger. I will continue to offer the same deal in order to support small business, which I think is very important and is a mission of this show. So good luck to all you and those three spots, go fill them up. Now, for our new Patreon members, we welcome you and here you are. Okay, our new Patreon members, welcome to the Fediverse. Welcome, long haulers. We got Cone Koopman,
Starting point is 01:53:40 Clint Monahan, Eric Puce, Nick Anastasia, Chase Carpenter, R.A., Quentin Weiss, Rogan Sauter, Richard Mason, Matt Stahlheberger. What? Matt Stahlheberger. Matt Stahlheberger. Nate Cousins,
Starting point is 01:54:00 Chris Black, Nikos. Posty said Nikos. Welcome our new members, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Go show up. Patreon is really taking off. People loving the extra long day episodes we shoot in the studio. So go support the show. Appreciate every one of you.
Starting point is 01:54:15 Join the future. Become part of the bold future. Become part of Web3 and subscribe to the show. We'll see you next week. It's been a long day.

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