Yannis Pappas Hour - Crypto Strip Club
Episode Date: February 19, 2022It’s your favorite fake news show, if we gonna have fake news why not make it fun! The fetaverse this week brings you a deep dive into crypto commercials and their true purpose, Prince Andrew has a ...loving mommy who is willing to give him some money to make some boo boos go away—a mather’s love is eternal—doesn’t he, Cuomo’s catch another body “and another one!” And a Montessori school shows us when keeping it progressive goes wrong! Also, much more…and by more we mean WILD so we don’t want to awaken the censors, babybosses! This is Longdays and let’s find out wasdadealis! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What's up everybody welcome to another episode of your favorite source of disinformation that is
true the only real news show you can believe in because we are not owned that's why CNN's coming
after us that's why Fox is coming after us
That's why Gawker is coming after us. That's why Jezebel Maxwell's coming after us. That's why Jezebel's coming after us
That's why we put Huffington Post out of business Arianna Huffington
It's me verse you on the undercard a Jake Paul verse whatever fighter is gonna take a dive for a million dollars
That's what we're gonna do. It is the Fediverse.
Reality is a suggestion.
What is real?
What is not?
I'm a bully.
What's going on in the world?
I just want to say something to the people who've been posting comments
about what we were saying about Dave Chappelle.
You've got to tune in for me to yell at you.
And by you, I mean three people who wrote something in the comments
who always get the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
All you got to do is say something negative and I will notice you.
Prince Andrew.
Prince Andrew had to go to his mommy to get a little money
so he could buy a little silence from women he had underage relations with.
Talk about a mama's boy.
Taxpayers, I'm sure you're happy about contributing to him paying off the girl who was suing him
who he illegally had sexual relations with as a young prince.
As a young prince, just like the child's tale.
U.S. casinos had their best year ever.
Right now, we are a country of podcasters,
OnlyFans performers, and gamblers.
Okay, and that's if you don't own an NFT.
I am an NFT.
I will not go one more day on this planet
being full of blood, carbon, and oxygen. I want to be
an NFT. Make me
fake because fake is the new real.
I don't want to live in this world.
I want to live in the metaverse. That's why I
created my own called the
Fediverse. Chris Cuomo's
got another body. We'll talk about
it.
Montessori
skulls on second notice.
We're putting you on notice.
Now there's going to be the negative comments.
He just screams.
He just screams.
Sometimes I have a little more energy than others.
Okay.
Montessori is on notice.
The most progressive school from a long time ago founded by a woman who sounds like if you say her name five times, a sauce appears.
founded by a woman who sounds like if you say her name five times,
a sauce appears.
Maria Montessori is on notice because kids in Boston did blackface.
Stick around to learn about it.
They canceled school over it.
Crypto commercials during the Super Bowl.
Is it real or is it a pump and dump?
Why is there commercials for money if it's not a product?
We get into it with our crypto expert, Quick Hands as we call them jesse scaturo and we also got our financial expert jared harvin here and
we got more there's a priest in arizona who uh was doing baptisms wrong so now i think the church
is getting sued we'll get into it we have have our Catholic expert here, Jared Harvin.
There was a guy from Portland who tried to open the plane door on a plane while it was in the air.
He was from Portland, so I assume it was some sort of defund the police protest.
He was just opening it because he wanted to hang a defund the police banner from the plane
over whatever city it was flying over.
on the police banner from the plane over whatever city it was flying over.
Hillary Clinton, we can't confirm nor deny whether she is responsible for espionage on a sitting president or during the campaign, but it seems like there is evidence it may
be.
Tucker Carlson did a piece on it.
Tulsi Gabbard commented on it.
So for me, that's fact because Tucker Carlson is the new Walter Cronkite.
Why not?
And I'm the new Ali Wong.
She's got a new special coming out.
It's coming out on Netflix.
The first two she was pregnant for.
This one she's not.
But she did just have an abortion for it.
What's the Dulles?
Down in Spoppes.
Yeah.
When you all tucked up in the baby mall. And the news online going on and on. Before we start the episode, This kid's screwed in, got a lot to say. Ah, shit. It's about to be a long day. It's a long day.
It's a long day. It's a long day.
Before we start the episode, my date's coming up.
Minneapolis, March 3rd through the 5th, I will be live.
Come get your tickets.
Then I will be in Springfield, Massachusetts, March 18th and 19th.
And then, of course, I will be in San Antonio, March 24th through the 26th.
So go get your tickets at yannispappascomedy.com. I'm making a video. Have some respect. Enjoy this
episode. It was an absolute, absolute wild one. We go in. That's what it is. When you do the first
two specials and you're pregnant for one and two, people expect
you to have some sort of reproductive issue going on for the third special. So I did speak to my
good friend, Ellie Wong, and she did confirm that she did, before the show starts, she goes, I was
with child before this special, but as a protest to the recent passage
of the 15-week abortion law in Arizona,
I terminated that pregnancy for the special
and walked out.
So she actually went straight from the abortion
to the special, okay?
Jesse, aren't you from Brooklyn?
Your stomach's supposed to be hard.
Jesse's fucking giving me looks
like I'm performing in front of fucking, I'm performing in front of AOC's campaign, the campaign crowd.
I'm just looking up Ali Wong, dog. That's it. I mean, I know it's a harsh joke, but that's what
we do here. News. We do news. The hard hitting news hard-hitting news. So if you can tell, she's a little emaciated
and dehydrated. That's because
she just had an abortion before this one.
Okay, third pregnancy
was not possible
because her...
Beep it!
You guys used
to be friends. No, we're good friends.
I'm just joking. We're comedians. That's what we do.
That's a joke. But I'm just saying, the third one, we're good friends. I'm just joking. We're comedians. That's what we do. That's a joke.
But I'm just saying
the third one,
she had an abortion.
Yeah.
So before she gets up on stage,
she actually walks out
with it in a jar
and goes,
yas!
And throws it.
And goes,
reproductive rights,
yas!
I love Allie.
I don't think she can admit that she's friends with me now
or else her fans will just be like,
are your friends saying Nazi?
Nazi, Nazi, Nazi, Nazi, Nazi.
I want to live a week as a Nazi.
I want to live a week as a different religion.
I want to know what it's like for a week. If I just take a
week and live as a woman, I want to take a week and live as a Muslim, just so you can know what
it's like. Okay. Just so you can get the insight on what's going on there. Like what do Nazis do?
Do Nazis are, is it like, if there was an Us weekly for nazis you never you ever go to like us weekly
and you see like they just take a picture and they say there's a whole section that just like us so
it'll just show like matthew perry looking all strung out from methamphetamines holding a
smoothie and they'll go just like us and you're going he's not just like us he's a little sadder
because he got all that money and it's not what he expected it
was going to be.
So that smoothie means a little bit more to him than it does to me.
I'm just trying to be healthy.
He's having his meal for the day because he has no appetite.
I wonder if Nazis have a similar magazine where they're just like us.
You can watch Nazis watching movies, getting lunch.
Do you think Nazis go to Trader Joe's? Shop and stop? They have to like us. You can watch Nazis watching movies, getting lunch. Do you think Nazis go to Trader Joe's?
Shop and stop?
They have to grocery shop.
They're just like us.
You know?
Like if we started showing the humanity,
maybe it would even embarrass them.
Because Nazis don't want to be seen buying bread.
You know?
You want to always be seen in your shit.
When you're a Nazi, you want to be seen in your shit.
You want to be seen like with your fucking whatever shit they got on.
They always got shit on.
You think they do bagels on Sunday?
No, I don't think there's a lot from New York, but they definitely do like grits.
They eat breakfast.
Just think about Nazis eat breakfast, dog.
Nazis fart.
Nazi farts.
You know?
Can you imagine just a Nazii at his computer nazis masturbate nazis speak to their mom hi mom hi yeah what are you doing um you know
i'm going to a hate group meeting on wednesday then we got yoga tuesdays
then you know i'm just gonna watch some netflix The best part is like Nazis probably watch Black-ish.
They probably really like Black-ish.
Because, you know, the thing that you try to like hate the most is the thing that you like secretly like.
When they go to the meeting, they're like, no, no, no.
I wasn't watching Black-ish.
I was watching what would be a great.
I was watching Joe Rogan.
I was watching Joe Rogan.
I was watching.
I was like, but they were watching Black-ish.
They tuned into old episodes of 2 Dub Queens.
You know they did.
They watched 3 Runs of Martin on VH1.
You know one of them has a burner account and is following Phoebe Robinson.
You know they are.
That's the funny thing about Nazis.
It's like, what are you guys doing?
Why is everyone joining these groups?
Why does people want to be in a group so much?
Don't people who, do people respect courage, individuality, and bravery anymore?
You know?
How come people don't look up to Jared Harvin?
He's sitting here and he's got pink fucking Crocs on.
That's a fact.
You think Jared Harvin wants to be a part of your gang?
No.
Why does everyone need a gang?
Can't you stand on your own two feet
why do you care so much about what people think i don't even care what my parents think obviously
i chose this i think i'm starting too slow we got to bring it down for the people who gonna say he
screams too much yeah this is not the episode one who are going to say he screams too much.
This is not the episode when you're going to
recommend for a friend. This is not the one you send them.
You got to start them
slow. We need a slower episode that we
can always go to and be like, look,
Yanni wasn't a delicious
maniac on this one. He was a little bit more
in the box.
Don't give him these out of the box ones. I'm going to slow it down
a little. We're going to go a little more boys to men on this now.
Okay, now that's the part where the guy starts speaking.
That's what's going to happen now.
Before it was the people singing, the fat one singing.
What happened to the pudgy fucking guy?
Pudge.
The pudgy one.
Boys to men never broke up.
None of them ever went solo.
I respect that loyalty.
There's only three of them now though.
What happened to the fourth one?
Diabetes?
Lost a foot?
Probably, yeah.
Too many cheesecakes in Philly?
Too many cheesecakes in Philly.
Motown.
Cheesecakes.
Back again.
Doing a little East Coast swing.
Long days with Adonis Georgiadidis.
Yeah, boys to men, there's only three of them.
So did the talking one leave or the talking one still there?
Because that voice is very important to their motif.
Yeah, it's very important.
You get two voices of, you know, I want to sex you slowly.
And then the fucking guy comes in to talk you down off the ledge.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we lost one boys to men guy.
The problem with boys to men is we don't know any of their names.
Can you name one boys to men?
No, I can't.
No.
Now are they just men to men?
Probably.
Because they're all adults now.
Yeah. Can we now call them men to men? Probably. Because they're all adults now.
Yeah.
Can we now call them men to senior citizens?
Yeah.
Men to geriatrics.
Men to geriatrics.
They're no longer boys to men.
Now they're men to geriatrics.
Dude, I mean, the halftime performance made a lot of Gen Z people happy.
Someone was saying if you were over 35, you love that. I'm like,
excuse me. Some big tweet went out like if you're over 35, that was your favorite halftime performance. Excuse me. Excuse me. That was music for 40 year olds. That was from the 90s.
Yeah. The people who the generation of people listen to that goes back to almost 50 now.
Snoop is what?
Snoop's got gray hairs.
Snoop is like 49, I believe.
Yeah, and he's in dog years, so that's 146.
And Dr. Dre survived a brain aneurysm.
A brain aneurysm, $4 million from his divorced wife, that's a lot.
Yeah, I mean, they've been through some stuff.
But I'm talking about these guys got major
senior citizen health problems at this point.
I mean, Mary J. looks good.
These 70s and 80s babies out here
looking better than everybody.
Mary J. looked really nice.
I mean, she was dancing like she was drunk,
but she looked very nice.
I think that was the best part of the performance, though.
When she fell back?
Yeah.
And a lot of people said
that Eminem was kneeling down
to honor Colin Kaepernick.
It could have been that
but it also could have been
he was just admiring
his own custom fire threes.
Because he went down
he could have just been
looking at them joints.
He went down
and he made sure
it wasn't creased.
He'd make sure
the joints weren't creased.
Eminem also
pull your pants up.
Okay?
You're 49.
My daughter's watching young man. Pull your pants up, okay? You're 49. My daughter's watching, young man. Pull your
pants up. That dude wears the same wardrobe
for every performance he ever performs at.
He does. He always got the
chain on the wallet, black pants.
The pants, like, real low below his ass.
I remember there was
an Irish kid. He was
a firefighter that lived on my block.
Park Slope used to be all Irish. Used to be all Irish. And there was a firefighter that lived in my block. Park Slope used to be all Irish.
Used to be all Irish.
And there was a bunch
of like retired cops.
What happened was
in my neighborhood,
it went from like,
you know,
working class Irish,
completely Irish.
That's why the St. Paddy's Day Parade
still goes down
across the Park West.
And then it went,
it went baby boomer,
baby boomer hippies
that grew up and had kids.
Like the guys from Brooklyn, like Jesse's parents.
Like Jesse's father's from Bensonhurst.
So he grew up, but he was the one that finger painted,
so he was a little more sensitive and wanted civil rights.
Well, the rest of his kids were like, get the fuck out of my neighborhood.
All Jesse's dad's friends were like, get him out of my neighborhood.
I don't care.
I don't care if he's making a delivery.
I see anything that's not a tie in my fucking neighborhood. I don't care. I don't care if he's making a delivery. I see anything that's not Italian in my fucking neighborhood.
Okay, that's what happens.
If the aliens attack Bensonhurst, they shoot like that at him.
They say, get the fuck out of my neighborhood.
Jesse's an outlier.
He's the only one that puts ketchup on his hot dogs.
Everyone else is putting mustard and sauerkraut and shit.
His dad was like, guys, guys, guys, guys.
Sensitive.
Yeah, he said, guys, they're people just like us.
And they said, Larry, what did you fucking say to me?
What did you get the fuck out of here?
And so Larry went to the basement and he started sculpting
because the kid just had talent to sculpt.
No, he went to San Francisco.
Oh, first went to San Francisco to escape,
but he's from Bensonhurst.
He joined the Air Force, went to San Francisco.
That's the way to get out.
All his friends are like, what are you going to do?
You know, they were sitting on a stoop one day playing blue ball.
You don't know blue ball.
You're not from New York.
That's where you throw a blue ball against a stoop.
You're from Long Island.
What did you guys play?
Handball.
Handball.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you take the blue ball and you throw it off the stoop.
And then if it goes over you, you know, it's a whole system.
So we played blue ball growing up against the stoop.
So they were sitting around playing blue ball one day,
and it was probably Vinny, Vinny the Mole.
You know?
Vinny Mook.
Vinny Mook.
You know?
Louie Bop.
Louie Bop.
Who else we got?
Vinny Mook, Louie Bop.
Oh, the Mole.
I forgot the Mole was there.
Yeah, we called it, you know, it was Vincenzo the Mole.
Because he came out at 4 p.m. like, what's going on?
What's going on?
He came out of his house every day at 4 p.m.
Italians will take your worst attribute and make it your nickname.
You know, oh, that's Joey One-Eye.
Oh, that's Vinny DeMol.
He doesn't come out of his house before 4.
He's at 4 o'clock.
He goes, what's going on, guys?
What's going on?
And, you know, he's sitting there playing football.
And it's like, what are you going to do, Vincenzo?
Well, you know, my father's got the store down there.
I'm going to take that over.
How about these guys?
Well, I started running some numbers for the, you know, for the chases.
How about you, Larry?
What are you going to do?
And then he played along.
He's like, yeah, you know, I got to keep people out of the neighborhood.
But deep down, he was eating them up because inside he was going,
I need to fucking sculpt.
I want to sculpt.
I want to sculpt to be free.
I don't want to hate black people. I don't want to hate black people I don't want to hate Puerto Ricans
I don't want to hate communists
I'm one of them
Equal rights, equal rights
Tom Hayden, I'm a yippee
Civil rights, play that Janet Strachan
And give me a paintbrush
I mean we're all in the performing arts
We're all a little gay yeah
so Larry went over
to San Fran
he joined the Air Force
hated that too
because they were asking him
to do like fucking
killing stuff
and he was pushing the button
like this
oh
I just want to fucking sculpt
he moved to Park Slope
it was all like
the open minded
open minded
baby boomers moved to Park Slope but anyway there all like the open-minded, open-minded baby boomers. Moved to Park Slope.
But anyway, there was this firefighter on my block. I won't say his name because it's
like public, but you know what I'm talking about. Remember?
Yeah. Don't hurt him, Hammer.
Yeah. He would always see us with our pants baggy and he would just go, don't hurt him,
Hammer. Don't hurt him. He would always tell me, your pants up What are you doing Don't hurt him
Hammer
So
What does that mean
Just cause
MC Hammer
MC Hammer used to wear
Those big balloon pants
So he was just
Making fun of us
Going don't hurt him
Hammer
Yeah that sounded like
An ad lib from one of his songs
I was like
What the hell is he trying to say
You a fan
He would just always
Tell me to pull my pants up
He was like an Irish old school firefighter.
Yeah.
That was a brute.
He was a brute.
Big guy.
And he came, you know, his dad was a cop.
Next door neighbor to him was a cop.
And they were like two doors down from me.
He had like 12 brothers.
He was the youngest.
So he was still in the house.
And he was a great guy.
They came up.
We'd be hanging out.
My parents would go to Greece. We'd have have big parties i remember once he came over and brought
were you there when he came and brought beers and they just left yeah because he wanted he probably
wanted to see if we were going to invite him to hang but he was probably also uncomfortable with
hanging out with kids who were 15 years younger than him you know he's like i don't know if that's
if i can hang out with high schoolers you know but he came over he brought us beers and you know
but he'd been there for a while.
They knew my brother.
My brother was 17 years older than me.
But every time he saw me, he'd be like,
what's wrong?
You need me to buy you a belt for Christmas?
Don't hurt him, Hammer.
They would make fun.
So back to Eminem.
It's like, guy, come on, dog.
Put a belt on at this point, right?
He's dying that beard, right?
Of course, and the eyebrows.
There was a big controversy on the internet about the eyebrows.
Nobody was wearing a mask at that Super Bowl.
But anyway, the halftime performance was dope.
I did not like 50 Cent upside down.
I didn't think we needed to recreate that.
Just watching him lip sync with blood rushing to his forehead.
Yeah, he had to catch his breath.
He had to catch it. Slurring his forehead. Yeah. He had to catch his breath. Yeah, he had to catch it.
Slurring his words.
Yeah.
Snoopy.
Shorty.
Goose.
And Dr. Dre should just be like,
look, man, do I still got to perform this?
Like, Eminem wrote the lyrics.
I make the beat.
I'm a producer.
You know.
I just had a brain aneurysm.
It was nice to see him out there after a brain.
I thought he had a stroke, right?
And he was back out there. He had a major brain aneurysm. It was nice to see him out there after a brain. I thought he had a stroke, right? And he was back out there.
He had a major brain aneurysm, yeah.
Yeah.
Don't hurt him, Hammer.
Sounds like something said in a movie about prison
made by someone who knows nothing about prison.
I think that was said by somebody
who knows something about prison.
Yeah.
Eminem put a belt on or the stripper boots.
Otherwise,
Tucker Carlson is gonna have a few words
with you.
So,
Snoop is just
so good,
dude.
Like,
Snoop is just like...
He's still smooth.
Oh,
he's so smooth.
His voice is so good.
I was surprised
that he could crip walk.
I figured he'd have
tendonitis in the knees.
Yeah,
and you know,
I remember when these guys came on the scene. Hip hop, when we grew up, believe it or not, Jared, in your father. Yeah, and you know, I remember when these guys came on the scene.
Hip-hop, when we grew up, believe it or not,
Jared, in your father's age, like our age,
hip-hop, I was alive when hip-hop
was invented. Oh yeah, I know, 70s.
Yeah.
Like, I was alive. I mean, I wasn't,
I was too small, but I was alive
like at the beginning in the 80s when I started liking hip-hop.
First hip-hop album I got was Fat Boys.
You know, I put fat laces in my in my nikes like hip-hop was like the nation sugar hill gang
yeah man and it was all it was an art form back then not it was the graffiti it was the break
dancing the beatboxing beatboxing's now gone break dancing's now gone it's funny how things
that start as an art like turn into pop. You know what I mean?
The lyrics, it was very lyrical.
That's why so many rappers hated,
they hated MC Hammer and they hated Vanilla Ice
because they felt like they were poppy.
The lyrics were not great.
And that was all true.
That was all true.
I mean, MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice both could dance,
but there were backup dancers for that.
I went to Rap Mania with my Puerto Rican girlfriend in 1990.
I had to lie to my parents.
We took the train up there.
And this wasn't when Harlem was like,
you saw somebody buying kale.
This was Harlem, Harlem back in the day.
I went up there.
My buddy shot out Jaha Johnson, took us out there.
I think he works in A&R now.
Sounds like a cornerback for the Titans. Yeah. I mean, you can't get a blacker name than Jaha Johnson, took us out there. I think he works in A&R now. Sounds like a cornerback for the Titans.
Yeah.
I mean, you can't get a blacker name than Jaha Johnson.
And we went, and dude, it was like slick Rick.
The only white group that was there was Third Base,
and Third Base was fucking lit.
Like MC Search would dance.
Like every group had backup dancers, crazy legs.
Remember?
They would have whole routines there
was somebody beat there was beatboxing people there was dj's cutting the dj was part of
the band now it's just like drake back then it was like cool g rapping dj polo like everybody had a
dj was part of their band like even tribe called quest what was his name he never he never said
anything in the videos sh Shahib Kweli?
Shahib Kweli?
No.
No, no.
No, Talib Kweli is the one they photoshopped into Dave Chappelle's photos.
No, no, not Talib Kweli.
It was Muhammad something.
Yeah.
And he was the DJ.
It was like DJs were part of the group.
I mean, it was an art form.
There was artistry, a lot of artistry to it back then.
Lots of artistry back then.
Fife, yeah, Jerobe.
Jerobe.
His name was Jerobe.
Yeah,
Fife Jerobe in Q-Tip.
Yeah.
Jerobe was the DJ.
Where did I start with this?
You were talking about your neighborhood.
No,
we were talking,
yeah,
we were talking about the halftime show.
So,
that was,
you know,
when someone tweeted that that was 35 years,
50 had to pull up to hang upside down
that was
that was for people
in their 40s
that was incredible
and they're still going
they're still going
those are
those are living legends
and oh
I was saying
when Dr. Dre and Snoop
came on the scene
that's where I started
hip hop was like
east
very east coast heavy
there was no southern hip-hop.
There was no Atlanta-based artists.
Outkast came out, but when Dre, that West Coast flavor dropped,
that was a whole new sound, a whole new thing.
More gang-affiliated.
It was more gang-affiliated.
Ice-T.
N.W.A. was one of the first ones.
And M.W.A., it was hard.
That was the beginning of gangster rap the first ones and M.W.A. it was like hard that was the beginning
of gangster rap
that kind of came out
of the west coast
but then when
Dre Day hit
The Chronic
The Chronic
I'm sorry
when The Chronic hit
I'm sorry
The Chronic was like
that is one of like
the biggest moments
in any genre's history
that was like a new sound
and it just announced
Dr. Dre
as like
obviously the genius
behind all those guys
you know ice cube ran i mean the chronic was that album hit and then didn't it do crazy sales too
like it was and that album the chronic back to front was just like incredible incredible
so seeing dr dre out there who's now a billionaire.
Dr. Dre is a billionaire.
Well, he was a billionaire.
Not after that divorce.
Yeah, not after the divorce.
This was a day where Dr. Dre could drag a woman by the hair
and there wouldn't be a hashtag about it.
Didn't he have an issue with someone at a club?
Yeah, she was like MTV VJ.
What can you do?
They had a club. Yeah, she was like MTV VJ. What can you do? They had a disagreement.
So I'm glad the gangster aspect of rap is over because that was no fun. Gangster stuff's no fun,
but it did produce a lot of great music. That era did produce when everyone had to be hard and stuff like that. That must be a real relief. Now you got Chance the Rapper.
You got guys that are just like,
there's no, and that's just great.
I love that.
Because the gangster part was always a little stressful.
It's always a little stressful
that that had to be a part of it.
But Dr. Dre is a living legend.
That was an amazing halftime show.
It was good.
To me, it's second to Prince.
Prince was like early 2000s.
Prince was good. Dude good dude prince and he was
playing purple rain in the rain i mean in heels the kid performed in heels so much so he hurt his
hips because he used to dance in heels then he started taking painkillers he died for his art
those were the artists i grew up with who do we got now the jonas brothers Brothers? The fucking, and they got a few good songs.
A few good songs.
But come on, dude.
The Jonas Brothers,
you can tell that they're guys.
I don't like that.
I like my rock stars
to be straight
but look like women
and be wearing heels.
Exactly.
Taking painkillers
with purple guitars.
Naming themselves symbols.
I need a four,
I need like a 14 minute
wardrobe change
for my rock stars.
I mean, come on, dog.
Prince was a fucking rock star.
He's dead.
If you don't come out that floor wearing makeup,
I don't want to see you.
I don't want to see,
I don't want to hear from you.
I mean, Prince,
because Prince looks like a guy who's not a musical genius
because there's so much flair there,
but he was.
If you knew how many songs he wrote
that ended up becoming hits,
Sinead O'Connor's whole career,
Nothing Compares to You,
that's a Prince song.
The list goes on of songs that he wrote.
Not only was he a great songwriter,
he also played like every instrument.
Every one.
He was nuts, dude.
So, you know,
when people call my generation boomers,
guys in their 40s,
late 30s, 40s like me, early 40s like me, you know, it's like, I get it.
You're calling me a boomer because I'm from an era where people were good.
You can't tell me when you go back and listen to rap back then that it's not better than rap now because it is.
Who's better than Biggie?
Who's better than LL?
Who's better lyrically
than Cool G Rap
who's better than Rakim right now
who's a better lyricist right now
lyricist, thank you
you're the enemy
I've had enough of you young kids
I get it, I'm a boomer because I say something reasonable
people are like, what are boomers?
are they people in their 60s? No, it's people who say
something reasonable, people who want, what are boomers? Are they people in their 60s? No, it's people who say something reasonable. People
who want to be able to pay
strippers in the monetary
system that you're promoting for us to believe
it. I will not buy a Bitcoin
until I can hand one to a stripper.
Web 3 that, asshole.
Someone just called me Yanni Old Days.
I don't think you're a boomer because you stick up for old rap.
I think you're a boomer because you have this afternoon's lunch stain on your shirt still.
And sweat stains from the bath.
If I could see that spinach pie that you had at 2 o'clock, then, son, you a boomer, dog.
Time to whip out the apron or the bib.
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Anyway, we had some fun with that.
Okay, so as always, we're going to work in and we're going to go out.
So the Super Bowl was great.
A lot of people not wearing masks.
Big media uproar because nobody's wearing masks, even though supposedly there's still
a mask mandate in LA.
So I don't know if that meant that people in the Super Bowl, because I know everyone
who got in had to show a vax card. You had to have a vax card. Those aren't hard to fake.
And then were people supposed to wear masks at the game? I assume that they were.
Probably, yeah.
Probably. Nobody was.
Only one was wearing masks was Kanye.
Kanye was the only one wearing masks. He was wearing a fencing helmet.
Yes.
Kanye was the only one wearing a mask.
He was wearing a fencing helmet.
Yes.
Kanye was wearing a fencing helmet.
So maybe he just ran from fencing practice. I don't know what that kid is doing.
I thought I was watching the 2024 Olympics.
Because Pete Davidson gets dudes really bent out of shape.
Bent out of shape.
I mean, Mac Miller, he had that dude bent out of shape. He's got Kanye bent out of shape. Bent out of shape. I mean, Mac Miller, he had that dude bent out of shape.
He's got Kanye bent out of shape.
Kanye's just like tweeting help
to try to get his family back from Pete Davidson.
And Pete Davidson's just going,
guys, I don't know what's, you know,
I'm just a guy with a magical dick.
Leave me alone.
He's tweeting his private messages.
This is not making Kanye look good, no?
It's not no yeah
what's your opinion on this bad pr again again when we had this conversation in the last pod i
said that this war between them is not going to come to a physical war it's just going to come to
like a matter of like mental mind state and obviously kanye is unstable and pete is just
it's winning doesn't have to show up for work at snl you know yeah you pull up on a saturday do an update and bounce and then go back to kim and then kanye's doing that looks
like a rogue member of the men in black i like it's really just a mental mind state you know so
it's very weird that as a lot of so much of it like i know pete it's just weird that pete is
banging kim kardashian what is next yeah this is the same guy that was in the green room
with Greenwich Village Comedy Club.
Yeah, like I, it's the same guy.
I mean, I did Soul Joel gigs with him.
And now he's banging the most famous woman in the world.
I mean, where do you go from Kim Kardashian?
I mean, he's, I mean, let's go, Ariana Grande.
Third or fourth most famous in the world?
Fifth most famous in the world?
Yeah.
Then he goes, you're like, okay, from now on, he's going to be banging, you know.
He'll be banging.
He's got to go back down.
I was thinking, like, where do you go from Ariana Grande?
From here, he's probably going to start banging, you know, some 50-year-old model who was big in the 90s or something like that.
Maybe you see him with Naomi Campbell or something like that.
And you're like, oh, I remember when Naomi Campbell was big.
She's not exactly that famous anymore.
But he won, maybe Simone Biles.
Next thing you know, you see Pete Davidson.
That would be a funny couple.
He's just holding his hand down low like a child.
I mean, Simone Biles is 4'3".
I mean, they both could share antidepressant pills together.
They could go on a date to CVS holding hands.
That's what I thought it was going to be,
even though Simone Biles is pretty famous,
but not as famous as Ariana Grande.
No.
But then he goes up in fame, at least a little bit,
and he starts banging Kanye West's girl.
Yeah.
Kim Kardashian.
That guy went from open mic feature to seller pass.
Of women.
That was within like a two-week period.
I mean, where does he go after Kim?
Of course, this isn't going to last.
I mean, that's funny.
It was funny when him and Arianda got engaged.
It was like, I mean, put your money on the obvious on that one.
If it's 100 to win 400, do it.
If it's a plus 1,000, do it.
It's not going to work out.
So when they break up, inevitably, obviously Kanye's going to kill Kim.
We know that. that's gonna end
in tragedy um jokes it's a joke no bully joke i'm sorry i'm joking um does seem that way though
um yeah where does pete go where do you go from kim kardashian i think you got to go to queen of
england i think you gotta fuck Prince Andrew's mom after that.
Pete's gonna be royalty.
Yeah, I mean,
where do you go after?
Dude, where do you go after Kim Kardashian?
Who can you fuck
who's more famous than Kim Kardashian?
I mean, can you think of anyone?
No.
Oprah.
Oprah.
Oprah.
Yeah, Oprah.
Kim, he's got it.
Oprah and Whoopi at the same time. Yeah, that's the only place to go. I think it's just Oprah, Oprah. You got to get Oprah. He's got it. Oprah and Whoopi at the same time.
Yeah, that's the only place to go is I think it's just Oprah, really.
Or Michelle.
Michelle Obama.
It's got to.
Look, Pete, you have no choice.
Because look, here's the thing.
That's the problem when you get to the top.
Yeah.
When you get to the top, you don't know where to go because it's a finite universe.
So when you're at the top, there's only one way to go is down unless it's Oprah. So
Oprah you only got two choices Oprah
He or maybe Hillary Clinton. He's already got a tattoo of her. So maybe he preempted their relationship Yeah, but that might turn Bill Clinton on so, you know, he might be into that
Clinton may watch yeah, that might be the only way that Hillary turns him on.
Are you kidding me?
When do you think the last time Hillary Clinton turned Bill Clinton on?
Okay, I'll tell you when it was.
A long time ago.
It was a long time ago, before she knew she was a lesbian.
So we're talking about maybe 16, 17, or whenever they met in college before.
Because in that day, if you were a you just didn't weren't aware of it
You know you couldn't be pantsuits tailored. Yeah
I mean
Pete is he's like Helen of Staten Island
Really? He's causing wars
He's causing wars like Helena Troy. Mm-hmm Pete of Staten Island
They will write like there's gonna be like a new
Myth written about him like odd it like the Odyssey except it's just gonna be Pete of Staten Island. They will write, there's gonna be a new myth written about him,
like the Odyssey,
except it's just gonna be Pete of Staten Island.
I think he scoops Rihanna next.
Rihanna,
but Rihanna's not bigger than Kim Kardashian.
As big,
that's a lateral move.
You start fucking Hillary Clinton,
former Secretary of State,
to match the tattoo,
now we got a story.
You start fucking Melania Trump, now we got a story. You start fucking Melania Trump,
now we got a story.
And you know she's game.
You know Michelle Obama,
at least a little interested.
That's the only way you can go.
She's too good of a woman though.
He's not gonna be able to get to Michelle.
She seems very moral.
But Hillary, very compromised.
With Pete, he doesn't really have to upgrade women he just has
to upgrade enemies because now you have kanye as an enemy so who else who else like the man can you
get mad at you so he's got a rock you're right get barack mad at you like gotta fuck the rock's wife
or vladimir putin's can you get can you get can you get bezos mad at you you know fuck bezos is
so mad you open up both his eyes equally you know that may be the key to
unlocking and making his eyes go straight yeah that's maybe what the simulators have put in the
code that the only like he's been going to all these eye surgeons he's like i got 40 million
dollars i got my body in shape i'm the richest man in the world but i can't get this off
what can we do to get these eyes to look in the same place?
And if I was the simulators or even if I was God or whatever you would believe in,
I would put the codes in funny things like that in your destiny.
And like, look, if Pete fucks your girl, that will make you so mad that thus your eyes will both bulge and go forward.
That would be funny.
your eyes will both bulge and go forward.
That would be funny.
If I created humanity on the planet and I was watching this for my entertainment,
that's what I would do
to see if it happens once in a while.
You know?
That's how you get to level 10 or whatever.
That's like the secret menu at In-N-Out Burger.
Oh, Bezos.
So, great Super Bowl.
Very great Super Bowl.
It was a lot of fun.
As we covered before on the show,
highest rated of all time.
Football's doing great.
Everyone watches football.
The commercials, though.
The commercials really piss off Jesse
because Jesse's a real communist.
So he doesn't understand why these stars are doing...
The Larry David thing bothered you a little bit.
I don't know.
You're going, Larry, you got the best show on television.
It was a funny commercial.
It was a funny commercial.
But he's got the show.
The show's prestigious.
The show's very prestigious.
Probably one of the funniest shows of all time.
Right.
He's got $500 million.
At least.
That we know about.
What's in it for him?
What's in it for Larry David?
And why does Larry David look like he's not aging,
but is aging at the same time?
I mean, you look at the first season of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
I mean, how much baby blood is this guy being prescribed?
He's the same age as he was like 12 years ago.
I mean, Curb Your Enthusiasm has been on the air for what?
15 years?
A long time.
So it used to be anathema, if you don't know that word against the murderer,
for celebrities to do commercials.
Nobody wanted to do commercials because they didn't want to be seen as a sellout.
Now all celebrities do commercials, right?
So maybe that's a boomer opinion you have.
Maybe it's totally cool.
And it was a crypto,
at least it was a Web3 commercial.
But you're saying this is your thing
and our thing here.
If crypto is the new money, right?
Why are they advertising for it?
Because you only advertise for things that are products. You seen a commercial for $100 bill no there's no
commercial for $100 bill the commercial is for something for you to get your
hundred dollar bill it's a product so that makes it suspicious that's only
something a boomer would think about because you know we scrutinize things and we live in the reality that is objective, not the one we wish for.
So what's going on here?
When you buy an Ethereum, does someone get a service fee?
Question.
Yes, they do.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Why would you get a service?
Why?
Don't you want everyone?
Aren't you trying to dismantle this system?
Don't you want everyone to have Bitcoin?
Isn't this about power to the people?
Or is this a Ponzi scheme for out of work
afters afters it's okay you throw the sag after the actors you put it together i see where you're
going it's okay it's still valid go ahead you guys to be able to continue to not backpedal in
lifestyle because they're all unemployed because they're not on Yellowstone, which is
the only show out there. They're not making movies or shows anymore. Nobody's making pilots anymore.
So is this a Ponzi scheme for quote unquote influencers, out of work actors, and the elite
who don't have any skills, don't know how to code, and can't sew a fucking Nike shoe together,
for them to be able to get all the money from normal people
by convincing them that they need this new form of money.
Who's hawking it to? Matt Damon.
When's the last time you saw him in a movie?
No. He's not The Rock. He's not Kevin Hart.
Matt Damon movies
ain't selling
in China.
Who's in the other?
Who's in the gambling commercial?
Ben Affleck.
Hocking win too,
which is not a good one.
Bet MGM all the way, baby.
It's grown 600% in six months.
Watch Unleashed my podcast
I'm gonna re-up my contract for big money
is this not a Ponzi scheme
for out of work actors
to be able to make a living
now that Hollywood is crumbling
they're just taking all the money
so what do they do Jess
it feels like a pump and dump to me.
So what they do is they say, buy this thing.
Buy this thing.
Use your money to buy this thing.
Buy this thing that we bought early and is now worth more
so we can make a profit off of it in money.
How is this supposed to be the new money if it makes you old money and that's the incentive for you to buy or sell it?
I don't get it.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
Luke said something I don't understand.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
Who are the people who bought in early?
Oh, people in the know. Who are people
in the know? Oh, people who are friends with the people who created this pretend money.
People who attend the same parties. Where are those parties? Silicon Valley. They're in Beverly
Hills. They're in the Palisades. Newport Road Island. Chevy ChaseC. And they're going, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Uh-oh, hold on a second.
China's taking over.
I don't have any skills.
I haven't used these hands to make anything in my whole life ever.
I was in movies.
Nobody wants us anymore.
I'm not The Rock.
I'm not exploding things.
I was Paul Giamatti's friend.
I played.
I was the cab driver in a Paul Giamatti movie.
Also, Paul Giamatti wants you to get in on this.
Shameless is going off the air or whatever movie he's on that Dan Soder's in.
What is that called again?
Billions.
So what are we going to do to get our millions?
What are we going to do to get our millions?
I know what we'll do.
We'll create a fake money and convince these fucking dumb young morons
that it's going to be worth something in the future.
Just like religion does.
Be good and you will be compensated in the afterlife.
Buy Bitcoin and in the future, you will be rich.
Why does this feel like Napoleon Dynamite Step Pop
selling fucking plastic plates?
Uncle Rico.
Why does it sound like Uncle Rico's hocking me some shit?
Why does it sound like I'm talking to a Scientologist?
Why do they get defensive like a Scientologist?
Go read the comments right now while you're watching this.
Yanni doesn't understand Bitcoin.
Yanni doesn't understand Bitcoin.
Again, once I can tip a stripper who dances in front of me
and she will accept it without me having to give her a speech
about being bold and believing in the future and having faith,
then I will buy it.
I don't need to find a fucking progressive stripper
to take my magic new San Francisco money.
fucking progressive stripper to take my magic new San Francisco
money.
Because you know what?
Economies are all built on sex.
Sex is the most fundamental
you know
if you can only see what these ladies of the night
are making. They make big money.
Okay? Big money.
Jeff Bezos' ex-wife.wife big money sex is the raw truth
it's what we want it's what people want money for they want money for sex so it's like until i can
i'm not going to do it because i'm a married man just got a new ring okay i bought it my other one
was uncomfortable until i can pay for sex with my bitcoin it is not
real that is the marker for me okay think about it you go into a strip club right you go to the
front door there's some big dudes standing outside there and he goes 20 cover and you go no problem
i got point zero zero zero zero zero007% of a Bitcoin,
which is worth $300,000 right now.
Can you hold my computer?
And I'll go in?
And then you go to the stripper
and she starts dancing in front of you
and she's like,
you're not going to tip me, daddy?
And you go,
of course I'm going to tip you.
Do you take Bitcoin?
And she goes,
what's Bitcoin?
And you go,
do you have a couple seconds to talk about Web3?
Let me explain what Bitcoin is. In the future on the blockchain, I give you this Bitcoin,
you will be able to buy a mass produced cartoon gorilla that Steph Curry has inflated the value
of because we're a country that is obsessed with fame. So now that Steph Curry,
in what you call insider training fashion,
has granted it value,
now everybody wants a cartoon gorilla
because behind the scenes,
Steph Curry is probably part owner
of that cartoon gorilla company.
So he's made it famous
by putting it on his fucking profile pic.
Now everyone wants their fucking original,
owned, fucking
cheap cartoon gorilla
that Jesse could make in three seconds finger painting
it, but now it's worth $50 billion
because Steph Curry
pretended to buy something
from himself.
Takes a boomer to know a boomer.
Am I making any sense?
Jesse says yes.
You got the phone, dog.
The phone can do anything.
So if you got the phone,
I can send you a Bitcoin,
you in the strip club.
So it looks like in Vegas,
there's a club now.
Crazy Horse 3.
Okay, well then I'm in.
Okay, so stop your comments.
I'm in.
As long as I can tip a stripper in Bitcoin, it's real.
So if you went one step,
maybe I sound like the guy who was skeptical about Tesla right now, okay?
But until I can go to any run-of-the-mill strip club in Atlanta or New York
or the open mic scene for strip clubs, Tampa.
I mean, that's where the girls go to get good.
Comics come to New York to get good in comedy.
Strippers go to Tampa to fucking work their chops.
If I can pay in Bitcoin at any run of the mill, strip club in Tampa, I'm in.
It's got to be updated, man.
If you have the phone, you can do anything.
Strippers are going to have it.
Aiden Ferrin wants me to know that Nano has no fees, bro.
So is Nano the future?
How many currencies are there?
I don't trust that because it's a technological sentence and he ends it with bro.
So I don't trust that.
Yeah.
It's just very weird that there's a lot of people who have become very rich in dollars
selling something that's going to be worth something in the future. That reminds me very much of something, how should we call it?
Very familiar. The church. The church. Give me the money now and in the future,
you'll be in heaven. You'll be on a beach being carried
by a frail Semitic man
with a beard,
who will introduce you to his father and mother,
who's Mary.
Pick your religion.
They're just like, they're just like,
they're just like cryptocurrencies.
There's a bunch of different ones.
Okay?
You got your Muslim?
Those are good.
Look, you know how much a $5 tip in a bucket is worth?
It's worth 72 versions. Just like.00000037 Bitcoin is worth $100.
You put a $5 greenback in a Muslim bucket, that's worth 72.
That's better than Bitcoin.
I'll take the 72 virgins.
You put it, you got your Muslim currency, you got your non-denominational,
and there's a bunch of different ones like that, just like there is crypto.
You got your Dogecoin, you got your this, you got your Ep-denominational, and there's a bunch of different ones like that, just like there is crypto. You got your Dogecoin.
You got your this.
You got your Episcopalian.
You got your Protestant.
You got your Church of God in Christ, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
And then you got your blue chip churches, the Catholic Church, blue chip.
That's like Bitcoin.
And then you got the Protestant church.
That's Ethereum, right?
And then you get the Greek Orthodox church.
That's nano.
And they all preach wealth in the future.
Wealth in the future in exchange for your wealth now.
Give me your wealth now
and I will give you eternal wealth. Believe Pastor Damon,
Pastor Damon and Pastor Affleck. Pastor Damon. Yeah, you will get your wealth in the future.
Promise me. I promise you, I mean. Oh God, people in the comments are gonna be hating,
but we all know that's a brilliant analogy
and everyone knows that I'm right.
Okay, I understand the idea behind it.
Now that's why so many people believe in it
because the idea behind it is good.
Just like the idea behind communism is good.
But it has nothing to do with reality.
The idea behind it is we wanna get all these banks,
we wanna get the Federal Reserve, we wanna get all these banks. We want to get the Federal Reserve.
We want to get all these tech tycoons out of the picture and create our own currency.
Maybe in the future, the tenants of that, the premise of that, will be manifested in something like a cryptocurrency.
But right now, this is a little bit like a american dream gold rush everyone's believing
in it like a picket fence a two-car garage um like that's not gonna come with prostitutes in
thailand and a drinking problem yeah it's not what it's sold to be okay even mcdonald's they
don't put the real food in the commercial they put a model
that they shellack
Jesse has fucking experience
with that
and then you go
eat the Big Mac
it looks nothing like
the commercial
god damn it
it's the super
can we pause it
yeah yeah
guys mental health
is a very important issue
that we all need to take
very seriously
we should all
be doing counseling
I do it.
I use Cerebral.
Simone Biles brought this issue to the forefront
as well as a bunch of other athletes, actors, et cetera.
And it's good that we're now talking openly
about mental health.
Cerebral is actually a great site.
And would you know it,
Simone Biles herself is Cerebral's chief impact officer. She uses
Cerebral and advocates for it. So I need you guys to check out this online mental health service.
They offer prescription medication, counseling, and therapy for anything, anxiety, depression,
whatever you're going through. They're one of the few services that provide medication online through a licensed professional that ships medication
straight to your door so you get to skip the pharmacy lines and have it done in private.
It's great. You can do your sessions on your laptop or your phone so you can always find an
area of the home where you're most comfortable. The treatments are affordable and they're one
third the price of traditional therapy. That's their goal is to bring affordable therapy to the people and they're doing
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So it wasn't super, but it was my good friend Chris Italia, the owner of The Stand, the comedy club in New York City.
in New York City.
As our bonus episode of your extra long day,
we're going to be talking to Chris Italia about his little scrap with the New Republic
based on false allegations that he should have sued.
He almost sued, but didn't,
but they retracted the article.
So we're going to talk all about that
and that little freaking squeak who wrote it.
I never say his name
because he's a comedy journalist.
I don't even know that's a thing.
That's like a comedy journalist is like,
it's worse than an improv performer.
It's like being a nurse in elementary school.
It's like being a nurse in elementary school,
but worse.
So we'll talk about that.
Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days.
Make sure you go sign up for those bonus episodes.
People are absolutely loving them.
We've turned it all around on Patreon.
It's going good.
So that's about that.
I've had enough about talking about cryptocurrency.
So back to those few comments about Dave Chappelle.
Okay, I get it.
A portion of the development was for affordable housing.
And by affordable housing,
that meant like $200,000 to $400,000 houses, right?
So it was like a piece of it,
but it was like a big development
that there's gonna be a dump there or whatever it was.
And people were like,
Yanni, the media sold it all wrong.
They did.
So I apologize for
disseminating disinformation, but don't act like Dave Chappelle wants to live next to people who
can afford $200,000 homes either. Okay. If someone called Dave Chappelle and said, hey,
Dave Chappelle, we want to put a project building next to your home. You're going to see him at the
town meeting again. So my point still stands. Not in my backyard.
We're moving on.
But your point is taken.
The media did try to smear him
because they are going after him for everything.
It wasn't that he was objecting to affordable housing per se, right?
He was objecting to the whole setup.
He was objecting to the whole setup.
It would have messed up traffic in the town.
They would have put a dump at the center of the town.
So aesthetically, it would have been messed up.
But if they were just putting Section 8 housing, he would have totally been fine with it.
So your point is taken.
He would have loved it, actually.
He would have preferred it.
He would have preferred it if it was just a whole bunch of project buildings right next to his home in Yellow Springs.
So your point is taken because that's what he prefers.
He's actually trying to get that done right now.
That's what he wants.
He wants.
He's like, you know what?
I want to build a comedy club.
I also want to bring low-income housing to my neighborhood.
He wants to move Queensbridge.
That's why he moved so far out into the country
is because he wanted to be next to low-income urban housing.
So, okay, your point is taken,
but my point was just made as well.
Same difference, same shit.
Nobody likes any change when they live in a small neighborhood,
and people move to rich areas for a reason.
They don't want to be around poor people.
It has nothing to do with race.
So you even saying Dave Chappelle hates black people is stupid.
Dave Chappelle hates poor people.
There's a lot of poor whites.
He's made that very clear in a few specials.
He's like, poor white.
He feels bad for poor white people.
He's not poor.
He's not white.
He's fine.
So he doesn't want any of us poor people.
Dave Chappelle would probably move if I bought a house in his neighborhood.
But Prince Andrew is in his neighborhood.
Prince Andrew is settling his lawsuit with his accuser who was underage at the time of their meeting.
And she's getting paid out.
So we all knew that was going to happen, right?
Because the taxpayers really do provide for their royal family, don't they?
Yep.
When they pay the salaries of their royal family,
do you think they knew that a portion of that goes to hush money?
For child exploitation, sexual exploitation.
So they reached a settlement.
They reached a deal with Virginia.
Her name was Virginia.
And Prince Andrew, if you didn't know, is the queen's second son.
The make-believe queen, you know?
Like, whatever.
The queen.
And he's 61 years old now.
And so the settlement is probably obviously disclosed.
They can't talk about it,
and you won't hear another peep from her
because she is going to be busy shopping
in Newport, Rhode Island.
She will be busy shopping.
This bitch is collecting so many Bitcoins right now,
you have no idea.
She's rich.
So she walks away rich.
He walks away being able to continue to deny
everything we know he did and he lied about.
And rich people just get away with it time and time again.
Another example, another example
of what money and power can do.
So he's good, right?
That's it.
He's off.
Prince Andrew's off.
The best part about the story is that his mom is lending him part of the money.
So tomato, tomato, you know?
The queen lends a little money to Prince Andrew
for some hush money
against a sexual exploitation charge
or whatever you want to call it.
Jared Harvin's mom
picks him up at the airport
when he comes in the row with me.
Tomato, tomato.
Both two good kids
whose moms are still in their life.
One's 61, one's 24.
Tomato, tomato.
There's his fucking mom 12 mil 12 mil of the taxpayers money because let me tell you this right now the queen doesn't have a job she doesn't have a side
hustle delivering packages for amazon this is the taxpayers money how is england gonna let this
happen how do they let this happen how How can the queen, what does she have, private investments?
From what?
What job has she ever had?
This is ridiculous.
Why is there not a bigger uproar over this?
How do rich people get away with this shit?
She may have OnlyFans that we don't know about.
Some of them feet pics, dog.
People see those blue veins, they might go crazy, son.
There you go.
I'm sorry.
I am remiss.
It's murder. I'm remiss. You're smarter.
I'm remiss.
I stand corrected.
Apparently she does have an OnlyFans we don't know about because that's the only place
she could have conceivably come up with that money.
OnlyFans.
I'd check it out. If the queen had her
OnlyFans, I'd see what she was
working with. I'd see what she was working with.
See them shingles right near the big foot.
See them cankles right near the big foot yeah
seen them cankles yeah of course
so there you have it Prince Andrew's off the hook
taxpayers again
this is another example of
socialism bailing out capitalism
the taxpayers bailing out
a company
if you will a brand if you will
the royal family bailing them out from scandal.
All I have to say is one word, scandalous.
I just don't understand.
Do newscasters take a fart break?
Because I just did.
Chris Cuomo talking of sexual assault allegations
from poor people
you know
poor Chris Cuomo
I mean what he's had to deal with man
you know living in that basement
for 7 to 10 days
in his Hampton homes
you know he probably
he's got a few
so apparently there's another
sexual assault allegation against Chris Cuomo.
Now, that's what she says.
Look at this.
The woman who was reportedly haunted by the parallels of her own situation
and those of the women accusing then-Governor Andrew of sexual harassment.
During a lunch. Chris Cuomo fired after CNN learned of alleged sex. During a lunch.
Chris Cuomo fired after CNN learned
of alleged sex attack during office lunch.
Ooh, Chrissy Cuomo.
Now, this is the Chris Cuomo.
There was another woman who wrote an article
about how they met.
She was a coworker of his.
She was with her husband, and they were at a bar.
This was a story that kind of came and went,
but he did not deny. He said said he apologized the misunderstanding whatever it was and
this woman actually kind of liked Chris Cuomo but what happened was she was
sitting with her husband at the bar Chris Cuomo walk it walked in to meet
them for drinks and Chris Cuomo grabbed her ass that was a New York Times
article in front of her husband mm He's probably throwing back a few.
Maybe he's throwing back a few.
Maybe he was just being Italian.
Right, he's Italian.
Hey, mama, so good to see you.
It's a bell.
Oh, it's a bell.
It's a bell.
Oh, it's a bell.
It's a bell.
It's a bell.
It's a bell.
It's a bell.
It's a bell.
It's a bell.
It's a bell.
It's a bell.
It's a bell.
It's a bell. It's a bell. Chris Kenneth said, I'm a Chabela.
Oh, Chabela.
Chris kind of said it.
Chris Attai is here.
Yeah, look, if you want to get sexually harassed,
all you got to do is sightsee in Italy.
It'll happen.
They'll pull your arm.
It's like a Lenny and Squiggy episode.
So what happened?
The young worker,
what's the meat of the story?
What did he do?
How do you get attacked at a lunch in the office?
He attacked a female ABC temp worker
when she denied his proposal for sex during a lunch.
He attacked her. The acquisition was cbn lawyers in december hours after cuomo was suspended um the unnamed accusers come forward
um jane doe had long been disgusted by the similarities between the democrats
accusers play and her own so it's this is he said she said right i mean like
you know we don't know.
There's no evidence, right?
So it's one of those things.
He probably had that locked door like Matt Lauer.
Matt Lauer had the locked door.
He had the Dr. Evil.
You ain't going nowhere.
Yeah.
I don't know.
You know, these things, it's like she could be looking for a payout.
Let's just be honest.
Like he's fired already. Oh, there's similarities between.
Could he have hit on her?
May probably.
Could have been a misunderstanding.
Maybe he was reaching for her man of good and he caught a titty on the way.
You know?
Yeah.
I apologize if there was any misunderstanding.
As your governor, me and my brother,
we were raised different than you were.
We're Italian-American where it's hard to tell the difference between a voluptuous
Jersey grown tomato
and breasts.
Those are hard.
Our mother raises us always to
communicate with our hands.
Much like the Italia brothers
who understand.
Who don't have a
reputation for reaching for anything.
And when you see the bonus episode he only has a reputation for reaching for anything. And when you see the bonus episode,
he only has a reputation for reaching for tomatoes.
Chris will prefer a tomato over a titty.
And you can see that by his stature.
Okay, the kid loves, man, a gut.
Chris Cuomo, I look at him, I'm like,
that's a guy who likes to grab asses.
You look at Chris Italia, you go,
that's a guy that loves to grab a lasagna.
Yeah.
I know where it's at.
Yeah.
Patriot.com slash Yanni Longes for the,
keep it hush hushing on the QT.
Remember from LA Confidential?
It's going to be a great episode.
So, Chris Cuomo,
talk about kicking a guy when he's down.
He's already down, but if you can get a couple
milli off him, why not?
I heard Cuomo was running for
AG. Which one?
Which one of the Craze brothers are you talking
about? Andrew. Which one of the
sexual Craze brothers? Andrew?
Andrew's trying to get back in. He's trying to get back in. Oh one of the sexual craze brothers? Andrew? Andrew's trying to get back in. He's trying to get back in.
Oh, boy.
It's funny that they try to get back in.
You remember Carlos Danger tried to get back in.
Hillary obviously did get back in a few times.
These are new strands of COVID.
They just keep coming.
They keep coming.
He's trying to take the office of the one who got rid of him.
They keep coming. He's trying to take the office of the one who got rid of him.
I've totally understood the wrong of my ways.
The heroism I displayed during the pandemic has taught me
there's millions of ways to solve the inequities we have
and I feel like I could best serve this country
by running again for office
I'm Andrew Cuomo
and I wear nipple rings
guys just go
just stop Cuomo brothers
it's time to retire early
Okay?
Like an Italian man who made a lot of cash
Laundering money for the mob at his pizza place
You've made your sack
You don't keep going
Okay?
The mob got their cut
You got yours
Go raise your own tomatoes and zucchinis
In your garden in Jersey
Okay?
And open an all-cash
Italian specialty store
and then go buy a piece
at a new Staten Island ferry and get in with the
Italian brothers and Pete Davidson.
Are the Cuomo
silent investors on the fucking Staten Island ferry?
Okay.
Good. Is this crossing the line?
I have a problem.
You're joking.
Obviously, the Italia brothers are the good ones,
and the Cuomo brothers are the bad.
Oh, yeah.
You don't put cheese.
You trying to put cheese?
I tell you something, Sebastian.
You don't put cheese on a seafood pasta.
What's wrong with you?
Are you fucking crazy?
You're going to fucking get me killed.
My mother's here.
Ma!
You didn't see nothing.
I'm sorry about this.
I brought him over.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
You know how they are.
You know how they fucking are.
I'm trying to show them what to do here.
He's not a Thai.
It's not his fault.
I apologize. Now, my mother's going to bring you another fucking are. I'm trying to show them what to do here. He's not Italian. It's not his fault. I apologize.
Now, my mother's gonna bring you
another fucking plate.
If you reach for that cheese,
I gotta fucking kick you
out of here.
Okay, that's a fucking
fried diavolo.
See for it.
You don't put fucking cheese
on there.
Desgracia.
I mean, goddamn,
your sister's ass.
Italians, they're cerebral.
Let's talk about
one of our favorite stories
that we were having a good time with.
And of course,
Jared is an education expert.
He was a social worker for 10 years.
He also was a school psychologist
in Long Island.
So Montessori schools montessori
they were invented by a woman who was very progressive at the time i guess any time name
i think her name was maria montessori speaking of sauce that sounds like a name who could make one
yep um now she created these schools that were very progressive in that there's no grades
it's it's very much based on the child's interest there's inter-age classes that there's no grades. It's very much based on the child's interest.
There's inter-age classes, et cetera. There's so many progressive methods. It reviews and works
very well. I think, Jesse, your brothers went, right? Very similar to a lot of the elements in
Montessori schools you see now in the Finnish public education system and they are now ranked number one
in the world in education.
No homework. There's a lot of
progressive things and ideas. No grades
in Montessori schools.
Also, probably not
cheap. Montessori
schools are not public.
Not cheap.
So,
our story takes us to Boston.
Our story takes us to Boston, Massachusetts,
where at a Montessori school,
a preschool teacher
or kindergarten teacher,
I mean, these children look tiny.
Unless she's teaching midgets,
at least these are just little people.
Preschool.
Yeah, no, unless this is an audition
for like a dwarf commercial.
These look like preschool kids.
They're preschoolers, right?
Yeah.
Preschool, okay.
So yeah, a preschooler.
This is a Montessori preschool.
So at the preschool, a, oh God.
God bless this woman.
I guess she wanted to use some progressive methods
to, you know, teach preschoolers about black history.
So what she did is she decided,
in her good decision-making,
to have the children... Oh, my God, I'm looking at the picture,
draw black faces with white eyes on paper plates. She did not call me for the suggestion.
And the children held up the black paper plates over their face.
Essentially forcing these kids into some sort of mass blackface role play that they didn't sign up for.
Okay.
There's a lot to unpack here.
Now here's a teacher who is obviously trying to be ultra, ultra, ultra progressive.
Ultra bending over backwards to teach these kids, okay, it's Black History Month.
What can I do?
She was sitting at home.
She had all these options.
She's like, okay, what can we do?
They're preschoolers.
So what should I do?
Should I show them Ken Burns' Civil War four-hour documentary?
Not good enough.
Can I show them Roots?
No, no, that's probably a little too young for them.
What else can I do?
Should I take them to an old plantation in South Carolina
and explain to them what a whipping post is?
No, they're probably too
old for that. What can I do that's appropriate for preschoolers during Black History Month?
Blackface. Blackface. Let me think of something that's very non-controversial.
I'll make them put on blackface so then they can feel what it's like to be black or to honor black people.
I'll make them all black in effigy for 45 minutes and make sure someone's there to take photos to post on our school's website to show how progressive we are at the Montessori schools.
Now, as you can imagine,
this caused a little bit of an uproar when it got out,
that there was a teacher making,
imagine you were a parent and you got a call
and you're like, we've put Mrs. Cranberry,
Mrs. Cranberry is on leave.
And you're going, what's wrong, Mrs. Cranberry?
And you're from Boston, so you're going,
what's fucking wrong?
I love fucking Mrs. Cranberry. You're from Boston, so you're going, what's fucking wrong? I love fucking Mrs. Cranberry.
She's a fucking good teacher, kid.
And they're going, well, Mrs. Cranberry decided to call an audible today
and implemented some of her own ideas on how the kids could celebrate Black History Month.
There's going to be a picture.
Yeah, unfortunately,
little Susan's in the picture.
Well, you can't tell
because she's holding a black paper
plate over her face,
but that is your daughter.
You'll see it in the Boston Globe tomorrow,
so we wanted to call you first,
Mrs. Collins.
Mrs. Collins.
Mrs. Hunting
we just wanted to let you know
that your kid was in blackface
our school will be open next year
thank you goodbye
we apologize
we will settle
whatever you're supposed to
we will settle for it
thank you goodbye
what's going on here Jared
I think it's
it's very brave of Ms. Cranberry.
I think she's a visionary because these are the only face coverings that are supported in Boston.
It's very brave of her.
It's a little hardcore to have that with kids to do that, do blackface.
Because kids, like you said, they're innocent.
They're pure.
So just have them do kid stuff.
Have them only eat the black side of a black and white cookie If you want to encourage that type of equality
There you go
Take the Oreo, get rid of the cream
The supreme cream
Get rid of that and just have them eat the chocolate cookies
Same objective is achieved
Without the kids having to put
Blackface paper plates over their face
Or maybe
Since these kids are so mature
And grown, maybe she could have
just served them their coffee black yep to make the statement um i'm not sure if you really need
to go into detail uh about uh black history month with preschoolers you could maybe just say hey
guys it's black history month you know we're you know if you're black this is your hit we love you
know america say things very positive talk to them like they're preschoolers, and then skip the
blackface and go straight to coloring with crayons, and that's it, and nap time and juice box time.
Let's skip the paper plate blackface section of the lesson. I mean, this is hilarious dog
okay kids
before you put your black faces up
I want to teach you
a little bit about what used to happen
to slaves
now
there was something called an overseer
and then after this we're going to talk about
the holocaust
what we're going to talk about the Holocaust.
What we're going to have you kids do is after you're done holding up your black faces and talking to each other in Ebonics to celebrate Black History Month, we're going to starve you kids for a month straight.
No food.
Okay. And we're going to put you in tiny little bunk beds over each other
so we can talk about the Holocaust.
Get in your little bunk bed.
It's nap time.
Yeah, six of you per cot.
Is that a demonetizer right there?
No.
Okay.
Who the hell knows?
Who knows this time?
We'll talk about the holocaust okay and the way
we're going to talk about the holocaust is we're gonna do a little bit of baking today
we're gonna bake we're gonna make these gingerbread cookies but these gingerbreads
are going to be shaped okay that's a's a good, that gingerbread is good.
That's good, Susie.
That's good.
Yeah, now where's the yarmulke?
Okay, now this one is a gypsy,
so make the nose
a little more crooked.
Okay, now put,
now put them in the oven.
Okay, now we wait
on 375 for 45 minutes.
And that's the holocaust kids um mrs crabtree can i talk to you for a second um yeah um i just got a complaint um from a kid's
parents at your school yeah yeah no i'm calling you from montessori corporate in Rome. Yes. Do you have a Noah Blomblat in your class?
Yes.
Yeah, well, his parents just told me
that you were putting gingerbread cookies in the oven
teaching them about the Holocaust.
I thought it would be a good lesson for them.
This is a Montessori school.
We use different methods.
The cookies were delicious.
What was she thinking? I don't know. I would like to see her curriculum plan though yeah yeah it'll go civil rights holocaust kamir rouge the killing
of mike brown okay kids um uh we're gonna start today talking about ferguson missouri
the textbook is white fragility yeah but let's backtrack to the Armenian Genocide of 1800.
Kids, do you know who the Cossacks were?
Kids, Genghis Khan.
You're at a Montesquieu school.
We do things a little different.
Genghis Khan did things a little different.
Kids, we're going to talk about Nero today, who married his horse and his eunuch.
And then juice time.
So the Montessori school actually, they shut down.
They got fired.
She got fired, but not only did they get fired, they shut down.
And then of course, let me guess.
I haven't even finished the article, but please let me guess.
Is Montessori investing in diversity programs, diversity training, diversity?
What are they doing?
They're doing something.
Are they giving to charities?
What are they doing?
Are they, what are they doing for Black History Month to make up for this?
And the money better talk.
I don't know,
but they took down
their Facebook account.
They took down
their Facebook account
and,
yeah.
I mean,
how do you fix this?
I mean,
does Flagrant 2
got to do a live podcast
from there?
That,
and you got to open
the school through meta.
You got to open
the school through meta.
And you have to give
everybody a black avatar.
That's it.
And we're done. That's it. And we're done.
That's it.
So I don't,
this is,
imagine just getting this call
if you were a parent.
And like,
this is not what I envisioned
when I signed my kid up
for Montessori school.
Yeah, man.
How about a little math?
A little reading?
A little math.
How about a little choo-choo train push?
A little recess.
Yeah.
What happened to the clay?
Are kids playing with clay anymore?
Have the kids play basketball.
They're going to find out how important black people are.
So a very fun story coming out of Boston, Massachusetts.
And then we have another fun story uh out of uh arizona a priest apparently had been doing his communions
wrong jared is that what it is yeah so i believe he was giving either communions or baptisms
and the prayer that he was saying he said the word wrong he said the actual prayer wrong
so therefore it invalidated all the baptisms that he did, and he's done like about a thousand of them over the years.
So he retired, said, yo, my fault, y'all, and he just peaced.
Now, everyone that got a baptism, they're not really appreciated by the Lord.
So the baptisms are invalid.
So they're not getting into heaven.
So they don't get into heaven this way?
So all the good deeds they've been doing are just erased?
Yeah.
deeds they've been doing are just erased yeah so if you had a wrong baptism but let me if you were like if you went and you only worked with poor people and every you didn't tell a lie your entire
life still means nothing yeah you're not getting into heaven because your father has the same
literacy skills as floyd mayweather this is what i this is what i love about religious law is it's so
just it's as easy to understand as
Bitcoin.
So are they suing? Are these people suing
now? That's probably going to sue. It's the Catholic
Church. You know they got money. Yeah.
Imagine some of these kids who were baptized
like I knew something was up.
I knew there was a reason why
I was constantly going to prostitutes and doing
meth. Yeah. It had to do with me having a bad baptism.
I would have been a good Christian kid, had this priest done the right thing and did an accurate baptism.
Instead, I cheated on my wife, I got a drinking problem, and I stole from my company's supply room.
And had sex with my priest.
And, yeah, I had sex with my priest just because my
priest doesn't know how to use nouns yes what do you say that was wrong he said
wait we baptized you in the name of the Father and the end of the Son and of the
Holy Spirit and it's supposed to be I baptize you in the name of the Father
whoa boomer Church well whoa whoa whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Boomer church. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This was a priest who chose to use different pronouns.
Okay?
That is not his problem.
That's your problem.
Please use his pronouns.
Respect the pronouns that he uses.
That's it.
So they're going to...
This church could open a very lucrative Catholic church right now in Portland and be completely fine.
Be fine.
He would say, come they, come nosotros, come we, come zubis. open a very lucrative Catholic church right now in Portland and be completely fine. Be fine.
He would say, come they, come nosotros, come we, come Zubis, you Zubi.
What if he was just doing very progressive baptisms?
Yeah, man.
What if the baby said, call me we?
Yeah.
What if the baby was a they?
The baby could have been a they.
Baby could have been a they.
You got to be progressive, you know, do the baptism and some kombucha juice.
We is that is not we is that
is not the community
the baptized person
rather it is Christ
it was Christ
until
things changed
y'all's the queen
um
very funny
very
very
funny
so
we'll end on this
two things
we gotta talk about the Tindler Swindler a little bit.
Say that word one more time.
Tindler Swindler.
Here you go.
The Tindler Swindler.
Here he is.
The kid.
You don't
call that swag. What do you call that when somebody's
just dripped? Kid is dripped out.
Kid rolls dripped out and every single accessory and piece of clothing you see
on him or around him was paid for by swindled women from twinder twinder
that's a tough one swindle t Tinder swindler. Tinder swindler.
Now here's the thing.
This documentary tries...
Did you watch it?
Oh, I watched a little bit of it, yeah.
You saw it, Chris?
Tinder swindler?
No?
You haven't seen it, Jesse?
No.
The Tinder swindler is on Netflix right now.
Everyone's talking about it.
I think there was a rapper who already took a picture with the Tinder swindler.
So here's this guy.
I think there was a rapper who already took a picture with the Tindallers.
So here's this guy.
He was an Israeli kid from Israel who was wanted by the law in Israel for fraud.
Kid was like, he was like the Leonardo DiCaprio on Catch Me If You Can in Israel.
Okay?
Except he was, you know, stealing yarmulkes, whatever he was stealing, you know?
Falafels, hummus, whatever he was stealing.
Right?
And he fled the country and he upped his game a little bit.
He started meeting women on Tinder
and the story starts
where he meets the first woman
and he takes her on a private jet.
He meets at a hotel,
takes her in a private jet,
flies her to another country,
bangs her out the first night.
Now, she's a Norwegian woman living in London, right? She bangs him out on the first night,
decides to go on a jet plane ride with him. Let me guess, because his personality and his sense
of humor were irresistible. His sense of kindness and empathy was so irresistible.
All the charity work he was doing really piqued your interest.
So you had to go and get on his private plane and fly with him to Copenhagen and fuck him on the first night.
First night.
So, he fucks this fucking desperate barracuda in his Copenhagen fucking five-star hotel room,
which is unbeknownst to her being paid for
by some previous bitch that he's pimping out
because he's got like this Ponzi scheme going
where one chick he's with pays for the next one.
And his scheme is, that's how he starts it.
So he basically is showing the woman
that he's got a lot of money.
He's an important person.
He changed his name
to be the son of some diamond maker
in Israel who's famous.
Right?
They never question it.
They never do anything.
They just check his Instagram
and see that he's
hanging around expensive cars.
That's all it takes
to win over some peace.
That's all it takes. win over some peace. That's all it takes.
It doesn't take a long resume
of good doings.
It just takes a couple of photos next to a
Lamborghini.
And I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?
Okay? I've been
trying to prove over and over again with these podcasts
that women have smaller brains.
Case and point.
Scandinavian women, even smaller.
Even smaller.
I've seen the autopsy photos.
So, then he's like, I have to go do business.
My hotel, I'm in Israel.
I have to go. I have other business. I have to go do business. My hotel, I'm in Israel. I have to go.
I have other business.
I have to go.
And so he just flies off.
And they basically communicate over WhatsApp for their whole relationship.
I think he only banged her once, really.
He maybe saw her twice.
Somehow in this, he convinces her, I have a lot of enemies that are to get me,
constantly trying to get me.
I'm a very important person from Israel. The enemy is trying to get me, constantly trying to get me. I'm a very important person from Israel.
The enemy is trying to get me.
And then I send a picture of me and my bodyguard.
And we have, they hit us in the head and they tried to kill us.
And I can't use my money.
I can't use my own money.
Somehow the jump goes from my enemies are trying to kill me.
And when you watch this, you'll see this.
I'm recounting because it's so funny.
The jump goes from I have enemies everywhere.
Who are these enemies?
Enemies.
The enemies.
Which enemies?
Enemies.
Trying to kill me.
Right?
They hit my bodyguard over the head with something.
And somehow it goes from that to now I can't use my money. I can't use my money. And the woman, to her credit, asks, hey, why can't you use your money? He just puts one
word, untraceable. Needs to be untraceable. And she just goes, got it. Understood. What should I do?
He goes, wire me $25,000.
She goes, I don't have $25,000.
He goes, easy.
Take out the credit card.
American Express.
She goes, I'll never get that line of credit.
He goes, let me write you as a fake employee
of my fake company
your salary is
nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars a week
I think that's
no it was ninety five thousand dollars a week
was her salary
so he created some fraudulent paperwork
she didn't once question
she's met him once
right because he was on a fancy plane
and he had Gucci sunglasses
her pussy's all
making squishy noises then she does it this scandinavian broad opens up an account he maxes
that one out she still doesn't have questions you maxed it out yes enemies enemies he goes open
another one what does she do she goes i don't have the goes, open another one. What does she do? She goes, I don't have the
money to open another one. He goes, take a loan. So she goes to one bank, gets a $30,000 loan,
sends it to him. He maxes that out. I'm not making this up. You can watch it for yourself.
He maxes that out. He goes, I need more money. She goes, I don't have any more money. Now I'm
in debt. He goes, it's only a couple of weeks. I'm going to send you the money. She goes, are you sure? Do you pinky swear?
Do you pinky swear?
He's like, of course.
We've known each other for three days.
How could you question me?
She opens another fucking loan from another bank.
She takes another loan out.
To the tune of $250,000 she sends this guy.
Meanwhile, he's using that money because he's not running from enemies.
He's with another girl in Milan,
pimping her out,
using that money,
showing her he's rich,
so then he can run the same scam on her.
And they show all these girls
have the same pictures
of the security guard
getting hit over the head.
And I'm supposed to feel bad for these broads?
This guy's a fucking American hero and he's not even American.
Can we just take a second to honor a guy who's taking the balance of power back a little
bit?
You guys got all the power, women, okay?
Everyone wants the money to get the pos-pos.
Case in point, what's this guy pretending to have to get pos-pos?
Is he pretending to have a diploma in social work?
Because you know how hot women find that.
Is he pretending to be a huge philanthropist?
Is he working with children in the inner city?
Is that what made these women trust him so much?
Was it his record of good deeds?
Was it his time at the UN
sewing arms back onto children
who were mining for diamonds?
Somebody's got to hold these fucking women accountable.
You get married,
you got to buy them a $20,000 fucking ring
that, you know,
basically came with three African arms being sawn off.
And I'm supposed to be like,
oh, this is just fine.
Here's your little fucking diamond,
your fucking blood diamond.
That, oh, the symbol of my love
is fucking 10 grand on your finger.
Fuck you.
Where's my fucking ring?
Mm-hmm. Well, your ring can't fit under your finger because Fuck you! Where's my fucking ring?
Well, your ring can't fit under your finger
because you have hypertension.
But besides that,
you're right.
Besides that.
But I mean,
you know what I mean?
It's like we're supposed
to act like women
aren't into money.
They're into money.
There's some women
watching this thing.
Not me.
Yeah, really?
Oh, so if Derek Jeter
knocked on your door tomorrow,
you're not going to leave the guy Barry you're with who's working another shift at Sheetz outside of
Pittsburgh to get in a private plane with Derek Jeter and go to Switzerland I mean really
so he's he's playing on that vulnerability he's playing on that blind spot that women have
for, oh my God, the luxury life.
Women love that luxury life.
So he's playing on that and stealing their money.
So he's taking one for the male sex.
I salute the tiddler swiddler,
and I can't wait to watch part two
where he gets plastic surgery and does it all over again.
Well, it looks like you're going to be hearing a lot from him
because he's doing his own podcast now.
Of course he is.
That's the way to do it.
Of course he is.
A dating podcast.
And I'm sure businesses are hiring him as a consultant
on how they can trick us all into buying their shitty product.
I bet you right now he's a fucking, fuck it,
I don't want to do Raycon anymore anyway.
He's a Raycon spokesperson. Good product, Raycon. It's a fucking, fuck it, I don't want to do Raycon anymore anyway. He's a Raycon spokesperson.
Good product, Raycon.
It's a great product.
I'm just kidding.
He's a consultant for Raycon right now on how he could make Raycon as good as earbuds.
It's all in how you package it.
It's the sale, not the product.
Kid's smart.
Kid's brilliant. I mean, that type of brilliant. He's got a criminal mind. Kid's smart. Kid's brilliant.
I mean, that type of brilliant.
He's got a criminal mind.
Big deal.
He makes life interesting.
The Tindler Swindler.
Check it out.
And then lastly, let's talk about this Hillary thing.
What is going on here?
Did Hillary bug Donald Trump's office?
I don't know what to believe because it's not on CNN yet.
So I don't know what to believe because it's not on CNN yet. So I don't know.
CNN is how I found out
Joe Rogan was snorting horse paste.
We don't really know what to make of this story.
Apparently,
some typically right-wing outlets are reporting,
and of course,ucker carlson reported that um
now the whole russiagate was sort of a ruse invented and created by hillary and her campaign
to discredit donald trump and it was because some what was it legal advisor to her campaign
dropped dime about it.
We already knew that the Steele dossier was funded by the campaign, right?
The research for the Steele dossier.
And the Steele dossier turned out to be bullshit.
Now, somehow that just got wiped away
because Donald Trump is the devil, you know,
in their eyes.
But now this is coming back into the news,
at least some right-wing news.
I don't know if it's true or not.
What's the main thrust behind this story?
Now, another piece of Russia, a computer server operated by Trump's company was secretly
communicating with a Russian firm, claims Slate Magazine and endless Twitter threads
of would-be tech experts.
But as special counsel John Durham outlines in his latest indictment, that was just a story made up by tech executive Rondi Joff, who desperately wanted a job with the Clinton administration.
He hacked Trump servers, cherry-picked privileged internet data he had access to, and molded it to look like something nefarious.
like something nefarious.
He was coached by lawyer Michael Sussman.
Now, Michael Sussman, he's the one who was being paid by the Clinton administration.
Although he lied about that to investigators,
Sussman goes to the FBI as a concerned citizen,
not a Clinton stooge,
to try to get them to bite.
The ultimate goal,
be able to leak to the Times
that Trump is under official investigation.
Durham definitely showed that the Hillary Clinton campaign
directly funded and ordered its lawyers at Perkins Coal
to orchestrate a criminal enterprise
to fabricate a connection between President Trump and Russia,
says Kash Patel, the former chief investigator
of the House Intelligence Committee.
So that's pretty big allegations.
Is it true?
Is that why we're not seeing it in the other press?
I guess we'll follow this as this develops, but this is bad if that's true.
Stay tuned to Tucker.
I mean, that's the only person talking about it, right?
But that doesn't mean it's not true.
Tucker in the post.
But it also could mean it's not true.
We just don't know.
That's why people don't trust the press anymore.
But if this is true,
I would assume that's very bad, right?
Very bad.
Hacking into other people's records, you know?
To try to create a false story to malign a candidate.
Yeah, you can't do all that to make it seem like another man is cheating
when you can't prevent your own husband from cheating.
Exactly.
That's just 101 of ethics right there.
There's a lot of stories coming out that Hillary Clinton is a little less than chased.
I hate to bust people's bubble. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Pete Davidson has a tattoo
of her on his arm. Do you think he's going to change that tattoo to Kim Kardashian?
Clinton campaign pain to infiltrate Trump Tower. Let's see what they say about it.
Of course, this is Fox, but what can you do?
They're right sometimes.
They were right about the Covington kids.
They were the only ones reporting it.
All right, let's...
Commercial.
It was a little commercial.
Yeah, the person who owns this cancer foundation
turned out to be a con man that was able to bank a lot of women who were so impressed by his work with cancer patients.
Amazon.
Oh, it's an Amazon commercial.
Yeah, they don't try to tug at your heartstrings at all.
Thanks, Julie.
Well, it was a busy year for special counsel John Durham.
Hillary Clinton's campaign lawyer, Michael Sussman,
and Steele dossier source, Igor Danchenko,
were both indicted as part of Durham's investigation
into the origins of the FBI's Trump-Russia probe.
So what can we expect as both trials are slated to begin next year?
Let's bring in former federal prosecutor
James Trustee. So they were indicted. So this is true. They wouldn't say these people were
indicted if they weren't. Them being indicted means it's true, right? Sounds like it. All right,
let's see what they say. Thanks so much for being with us today. And I just want to pull up on the screen a breakdown
of how this probe has moved on since it first started. In May 2019, then Attorney General
Barr assigned Durham to examine the origins of the Trump Russia probe. In August 2020,
we had a first guilty plea. October 2020, it became a special council. 2021, we had three major events, three indictments there.
And then December 2021, they revealed that it had spent $3.8 million so far.
So when you look back at the past year, certainly a big uptick in activity.
And I just wonder what that tells you about it, if they're getting closer to perhaps to the conclusion.
Yeah, I think it's really getting closer to its natural conclusion.
It's going to be very interesting in 2022, in part because of some recent things.
The Danchenko indictment specifically and a recent motion that they filed
regarding a potential conflict of interest for a law firm really tells most people,
or tells me at least, that they are zooming in microscopically at the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign.
They're looking very closely at people that basically fueled the Russian dossier creation
and transportation of that dossier to the willing eyes of the FBI
where it was used to spy on people.
Okay, that was like an older story.
That's been going on for a couple years.
That's been known that the dossier ended up being false based on bullshit.
Yeah.
So basically right now they're zooming into the Clinton campaign being behind the creation of the funding,
the creation of the dossier eventually, and now this as well.
The scenes, what we're not going to hear about for some time probably,
is they're really scrutinizing communications maybe all the way up to Hillary about whether or not these communications are attorney-client privileged
or whether there's a basis for being able to use them in an open courtroom.
Yeah and that conflict of interest that you discussed there is that Danchenko was represented
by the same law firm that represented the Hillary campaign. So certainly they'll be looking into that.
Now, the special counsel designation,
it provides an additional degree sort of insulation.
Okay, so I get it.
So the law firm that represented DeChenko
or whatever his fucking name is,
also represented the Hillary Clinton campaign.
But he's just going to allege
that one thing had nothing to do with the other.
She'll get off scot-free.
And there'll be nothing to it because that's the way'll get off scot-free. No points of conflict.
And there'll be nothing to it because that's the way it goes.
That's the way it goes in this country. If you're caught with a nickel bag or a dime bag of weed, you got to go to prison for 20 years.
But if you're caught doing high malfeasance like this, there is a cover.
There's always a story.
There's always a way to get out of it.
All these people know each other.
They know the reporters.
They go to the same parties.
They figure out a way to make it all spun nice. It's like they are gift wrappers at a
department store and they bought you a shit gift, but it comes in a nice box with nice wrapping
paper and a nice bullshit bow. So take your fucking present, swallow it, and keep screaming
about how everyone hates everybody else while these people walk away
sipping champagne laying down in first class in delta in first class on the delta bed hopefully
i'm in another one because i don't give a shit i'm willing to be paid off ccp call me
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