Yannis Pappas Hour - Digging up Dogs with David Ian Howe

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

David Ian Howe is an Anthropologist, Archaeologist and Cynologist. The kid loves digging up the earth for historical artifacts and dog bones. He studies the historical relationship between man and dog and how we evolved together. Originally from Long Island, he’s now based out of Nashville. He’s got a popular fun TiKTok account and Instagram where he does educational videos and skits about historical humans and 🐕 :TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd23GUJ1/Instagram: https://instagram.com/ethnocynology?utm_medium=copy_linkDavid and Yanni discuss the historical significance of man and dogs symbiotic relationship and how it led to civilization. Without our partner in survival, doggies, we would no have evolved to become civilized and dominate the planet. Humans have NOT been the apex predator for most of our existence. With the help of dogs, we warded off predators, hunted together, they helped us settle down and farm by herding and protecting our crops, and enabled us to sit around and develop our neocortex. Dogs are truly the most magical animal. Hug your dog tight and enjoy this chat. David Ian Howe (B.A., Anthropology, University of Tennessee; M.A., Anthropology, University of Wyoming) serves as an Assistant Lab Manager in the Augusta VCP. A Registered Professional Archaeologist (RPA), David has conducted archaeology at multiple sites in Kentucky, Tennessee, and South Carolina as well as sites in Wyoming. David’s emphasis is on lithic technology and the Paleoindian and pre-Paleo cultural horizons. He has worked for several seasons at the Topper site in South Carolina and also participated in the Southeastern Paleoamerican survey project. Prior to joining the VCP, David worked for universities and cultural resource management firms, including work with the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers St. Louis District and New South Associates on archaeological excavations of the Wix-Howard Cemetery.LongDays is a weekly podcast by comedian Yannis Pappas. Yanni likes to goof on issues from all sides. Get your news, trending topics and long day rants every Sat and a guest chat with interesting, brilliant and hilarious humans every Thursday. Yanni stand up tour dates & tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comJoin for weekly Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysThe show goes out every Saturday night & Thursdays to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram on Wednesdays. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up everybody? How you doing? Long haulers, Cyclops, Colt, Long Days fans, new people who've just scrolled because it got recommended from a Tim Dillon video or an Andrew Santino video, or you're up late with insomnia and you really should be taking Klonopin, whatever your situation is, welcome to this podcast, Long Days with Giannis Pappas. We're twice a week now, as you know. podcast long days with Janice Pappas we're twice a week now as you know uh I hope you enjoyed the Devin Rodriguez episode I hope that my page is still up since this is being recorded in the past I assume that it is I want to tell you about some dates I got coming up I want you to come see me at Uncle Vinny's Comedy Club okay I'm taking steroids for this show. Come see me in Point Pleasant, New Jersey at Uncle Vinny's Comedy Club. Okay? I'm going to be handing out calzones. I'm going to be handing out mozzarella sticks. Italians, you pay double price if you come. December 3rd and 4th, Uncle Vinny's, Point Pleasant, then December 16th through 18th, come see me at Mohegan Sun at Comics, that's between the 16th and the 18th, if you gamble away your

kid's tuition, DM me and I'll see if I can get you in free, House of Comedy in Plano, Texas, I don't really want to be there, I'm there for the money, just come, if you're vaxxed, unvaxxed, it doesn't matter in that state. Cough on me. I will be getting the booster. It doesn't matter. And I do know Joe Rogan. He lives in Texas.

So if you guys succeed, hopefully I won't have to show my passport to get to that show. Then you'll see me in San Diego, California. The only red dot in all of California. So bring your American flags, your American t-shirts or whatever, and yell at me that I'm a liberal cop. That's January 20th to the 22nd. This fucking Northeastern liberal cop is coming down to perform for you.

People who are related to whoever's in the military at those bases down in San Diego at the American Comedy Company. Then come see me February 10th, one show side, Spluters in Tampa, there's Greeks that live in whatever areas down there, put down your sponges, and come support Greeks, I know John Stamos, that's good enough, then I'm gonna be in Canada, don't wanna do these shows either, but I will be in Edmonton and New Westminster in February, so should be fun, should be doing some sightseeing New Westminster in February. So it should be fun.

Should be doing some sightseeing out there because the weather is going to be great. And I don't know what the vaccine mandate situation out there is. I'll probably have to quarantine for a year before I can leave back to the country. So February 17th to the 19th, I'll be in Edmonton. February 24th to 26th, I'll be in New Westminster. Shoot myself in the face. Then I will be in another hot spot for tourism, Bloomington, Minnesota, at the House of Comedy on March 3rd through March 5th. So great to be in Minnesota, Wisconsin, whatever. I hopefully will see some riots.

Then I will be in San Antonio, Texas. Try to get a front row seat for those shows because the people are so fucking flat, they're going to block your view at the show. So try to get in the front if you're under 300 pounds so you can get a view of the stage. If you're fat, please order two tickets to be courteous to other people. March 24th through the 26th,

I'll be at LOL Comedy Club. Then I'll be at the House of Comedy in Phoenix, Arizona, April 14th to the 26th, I'll be at LOL Comedy Club, then I'll be at the House of Comedy in Phoenix, Arizona April 14th to the 16th so if you are Mexican, please come with your papers and I don't mean your vaccinated papers, this isn't New York City, I need to know you're a citizen to get into my show

I'll see you April 14th through the 16th, I'm just fucking kidding subscribe on YouTube, subscribe to the Long Days Clip channel on YouTube, turn your notifications on, patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days for the bonus episodes, where I really unleash and let you know what I think about myself and everybody else, we're a bunch of flesh slop walking around this planet, and as soon as the Chinese attack the Pacific coast, I am going to be there with my hands up telling them, how can I help expedite this process? What can I do for you? I am for the People's Republic of China, and I want to rename this country as its colony. We got a great guest coming up.

His name is David Ian Howe. He's a scientist. He loves dogs. I follow his Instagram. I asked him if he wanted to come on the show. He said, hey, I got to go on the island and see my family, go to a couple Sweet 16s, grab a couple bagels, and I will be there. I also have to avoid MS-13 because they're on the windows and there's traffic on the northern. So please enjoy this interview with David Ian Howe. What's the dollars? Trust from the truth to the news and cameras to the fake politics and the propaganda.

Get his kids screwed in, got a lot to say. Aw, shit. It's about to be a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day. What's up, everybody? I want to welcome my guest for this evening on this esteemed program of Charlie Rose. He is a anthropologist.

No, tell me if I got this right. Anthropologist. Yeah. Archaeologist. No, tell me if I got this right. Anthropologist. Archaeologist. Yeah. And a ethno-synologist. Ethno-synologist. So that means the kid

is a little bit smarter than you and a little bit smarter than me. Whenever you have an ologist on the end of your name, like ologist, that means you're into something that other people are not into. Meaning, I like to call these people eggheads. So you're a smart kid. I followed your Instagram, which is incredible because I'm a huge fan of dogs. I'm a big dog lover. And you actually specifically study the relationship between men and dogs, which is something I'm a big dog lover. And you actually specifically study the relationship between men and dogs, which is something I'm absolutely obsessed with.

Because once I learned, first of all, I love dogs. Then I learned, once I started learning that scientists have started coming to this realization that our kind of teamwork, our kind of symbiotic relationship kind of led to civilization, protected us from predators, do all these jobs. So what was it that inspired you to study this specifically? Just always liked dogs really, my whole life. And then I guess here, if you wanted me to get like, you know, deep about it, we had a archaeology lecture in like archaeo 101 and they showed uh this lady that was like buried with a puppy and her hand was like resting on the puppy and i loved like prehistory and archaeology and stuff but i saw that and i was like oh shit you can study that and went from there and then i wanted to do it in grad school

ended up doing stone tools instead but but just took the dog stuff, ran with it. And then, uh, kept talking about it. My friends like shut the fuck up. So then I put it on Instagram and I can send it to everybody. Yeah. So that's what you do for your main job. Um, when do you perform with your band? Uh, don't really have a band. You look at a guy who likes to fiddle a bass once in a while now. i mean i live in nashville so yeah you live in nashville let me ask you this question right off the bat i got a question yeah i i know for a fact that there's a lot of lonely housewives out there ex-wives who have dogs right uh widows whatever you want to have, sneaky women who put peanut butter on their pussies and let the dogs lick it off. Yeah. My question to you is, is that a service animal? And should

that dog be allowed on planes and wear a vest? I mean, I think everyone's had their asshole licked when they've had sex by a dog. You know, the dog licks your asshole depending on the position you're in. But yes, I think there is a niche group of women who have peanut butter rubbed on their puss puss. Look, if I was a woman, you know what I mean? You might as well, the tongue is there. There's probably some guys too that put a little on the asshole, you know. When a dog licks your back, it feels so good.

I got to admit once in a while, I considered putting peanut butter on my back just to let my dog lick it because it felt so good. I didn't do it because I'm not completely insane. But if I do lose it, that's something I would do. Yeah, man. If it's getting heated and the dog slips in, you know, like what can you do? Yeah. Now that's some of the grossest stuff possible, bestiality. It happens.

It's unfortunate. It lets you know how wild the human brain is. So you started studying dogs. I assume you were attached to university. Now you said you're on your own. Yeah. So I studied, I went to go for history at university and I realized like you can't really get a job with that. Well, you can become a teacher. You could.

Yeah. You could become a teacher and teach history. You could just trade places with the guy who taught you history. It's basically a game of musical chairs in the liberal arts. But then you decided you went and you got your master's in. Yeah, I got my master's in anthropology and I studied. I went to University of Wyoming, which sounded like the middle of nowhere, but it's like one of the better schools. Well, last episode I proposed that we have the Civil War in Wyoming. You did.

We let the Proud Boys and we let Antifa show up there and let them fight it out there. One of the funny things is the, I think you can open carry on campus there. That might be wrong. Don't quote me. And at first I thought, you know, that'd be kind of terrifying. But then someone explained it to me. If, you know, somebody were to do something stupid, the entire campus would then be like with a gun themselves and you'd feel pretty safe.

Yes. Yeah. And it's like a Quentin Tarantino movie yeah everyone just kills everybody yeah so you got your so that is it so in wyoming you studied what for your master's hunter-gatherer anthropology wow that's cool yeah that's cool stone tools and then what is that where you ended just the master's in that master's and then i ended up doing um like contract archaeology for a bit then i worked for a vet program with the army corps engineers and now i'm just doing my thing very cool and you're doing something cool with

the the army corps of engineers right now right some sort of program um i did yeah so i just left but it was a um essentially it was the guy who um uh you know saddam hussein had the mass grave like the genocide i think he's probably got a few of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a number. They're like chain restaurants for Saddam. He's got like chain mass graves. You go check them out. You know, he's got discounts, two for 20 meal.

A lot of mass graves with the dead Iranians. Yeah, you know. But that guy went out there as an archaeologist, dug all those up, and they testified against him. And then all the soldiers he was working with were like, what do i do for a job when i get back so we started this vet program and the army corps has a whole bunch of archaeological material that they were like what do we do with it so they just put them together and i was a manager of one of those labs very cool yeah what does that entail being a manager one of those labs um look so you have academic archaeology which is like you know trading the musical chairs thing you're talking about and research.

But then there's also contract archaeology. And that's people in the field? Yeah. That's where you're digging. You're digging, looking for artifacts. Yeah. So if Walmart wants to open a new, you know, open a plot of land or buy it, you got to send in geologists to check for oil, biologists to look for endangered species, and then archaeologists to dig out any, you know, indigenous sites that are there or anything like that. So everybody that works in archaeology is in something like that.

Right. And that was part of that. Very cool. Yeah. So do you dig? I used to, yeah. You used to dig. Yeah.

Now, how do you know where to dig? So first of all, that's what an archaeologist is right yeah it's like you guys dig you you try to understand history i know you're a field guy because you got a bucket of water you know guys who do archaeology always got they got to be hydrated yeah bucket of water back there you have did you come with a backpack i did yeah backpack actually you got a bagel yeah i just had a bagel with uh i'm gonna roll around without a bagel in it, actually. You got a bagel? Yeah. I just had a bagel with- I'm not going to roll around without a bagel in my bag. Yeah, you're on the island. You got to go into the northern.

You got to get a bagel. So archaeology is basically studying history through artifacts, right? Through skulls or whatever you find. Material culture. Material and you carbon date it, figure out how old it is, et cetera. That's the type of shit you guys do. Yes. So you guys are really the ones that set history, narrative in motion based on what you find.

And that narrative, quote unquote narrative, because not really narrative, but yeah. Sure, sure. Yeah, yeah. You get what I mean. History kind of changes based on findings all the time. Like, you know know you could see that with you know uh when they discover keep discovering other hominids here and there they're like oh at first it was like two hominids on the planet at the same time then three then four then

they're up to like 13 yeah that they see were maybe overlapped a few overlap and they're all banging each other yeah at first they thought we extinguished the neanderthals then now you know according to 23andme if you're white you got 1 to 5% of that shit. I knew we were evil, dude. You know, these are little uncomfortable things people don't want to know. But only white people have Neanderthal DNA. Asians as well. Oh, Asians got a little too?

Anybody out of Africa, I think, can have it. Can have it. Yeah. But do Europeans have the most, like, DNA? I believe so. Yeah. Yeah. Mine have the most like DNA? I believe so. Yeah. Yeah. Mine's very low.

Yeah. Mine's very low because I did my 23andMe. My Neanderthal was low. My Turk was high. To be honest with you, I wish those two things were different. Yeah. I would have taken a lot higher of a Neanderthal if I could have lowered the fucking Turk in me. But there's nothing I can do.

I'm the product of conquering rape. And that's just the history of humanity. Yeah. Mine says I'm 51% Jewish. So the government now knows that when they take over. I didn't know you were from the tribe. I am. Although I should have surmised it based on the fact that you're from out of the island.

When you're out of the island, even if you're not Jewish, you're a little Jewish. Yeah. Everyone's a little bit. Yeah. Everyone's been to a bar mitzvah, you know, sweet 16. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I swear to God, I tell you what, when, when, when dad's on the island, when they find out their wives are pregnant, they pray for a boy because if they have a girl, they know they're on the hook for a sweet 16, a bat mitzvah, and a nose job. So those three big payments they're going to have to make. You're not wrong. So when you were born, your dad, he went, ah, thank God. He's just going to be an arch.

All I got to do is pay for egghead school. Speaking of egghead, yeah. So archaeologists, you can go in looking for – to dig somewhere because like if you were out stranded in the wilderness, you'd know like go by a river, look for where the deer go. I would have killed Gabby Petito and I'd be taking my own life very soon. Yeah, yeah. Those are Long Island people too. I know they are Long Island people. Long Island people, they just make – they find out a way to make news.

Yeah. Even if it's a standing on the side of a highway in Long Island, screaming Trump 2024, they will be on the news. That is a thing. Yeah. Um, but yeah, you can go looking for a place like that. You know, like people probably live there and you can dig holes there and test, but mostly it's like a construction site digs it up and you, say, they'll call archeologists to come in. Cause if it's on federal or state land, like if they legally have to call an archeologist, I think sometimes they just sweep it away, which is not great.

Very cool. Yeah. So let's get into the, um, the area of interest that you have that fascinates me. Um, through archeology, we know throughout history that dogs have been with man for, what would you say, 40,000? What's the latest on that? Genetically, definitely by 20,000, but I'm pretty positive like way before that. Because, you know, when do you classify it a wolf versus a dog? It doesn't happen overnight. Right. So it was sort of a gradual process.

Yeah. So gray wolves are the ancestors of dogs. Is that a fact? So it depends on like your school of thought, but it's either a gray wolf that's like around now or just like they both shared like a common parent ancestor kind of thing. But they're wolves. Right. Yeah. Right. And the species of dog.

Now species just means all these animals share an ancestor. They could all fuck and make an offspring. That's why you have koi dogs, et cetera, wolf dogs, which you should not own, but people still do. I assume in Florida and Texas, there's a bunch of pet coyote dogs and wolf dogs. With alligators. Yeah, and occasionally they eat a baby, but it's kind of worth it for whatever they pay their neighbors to pet it. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, 40,000 years I'd say was like the furthest part. But for species too, it's kind of a spectrum. And I just posted about this the other day. It's like not like gender or sexuality. Like they can't just like I choose to be a wolf today. There's no non-binary wolves. Yeah, I believe that would be the case. But it's like at what point do you have more like human DNA than I do?

When does a dog have more dog DNA than a coyote? Very interesting. And they can all interbreed. So what do we like, you know, we don't understand species, but if they can have sex, they're about the same. I love that. You never really hear about that. So you're saying because, yeah, usually it's like, OK, these are dogs. But when you look back at history, it was sort of a gradual process of them becoming dogs.

And so they were some percentage more or less a dog and more a wolf. Yeah. Kind of on that spectrum. So when you go out looking for like skulls of like dogs and stuff like that, like how do you know? Because a dog's skull is a little more scrunched together. It's like shorter because you're breeding into, you want it to look cuter. That's what domestication is really.

You're making it less intimidating. But a wolf skull is a little more robust. So there's no Pokemon evolution in the world. So like when does that change? So it's really hard to say like, is this a wolf or is it a dog and that creates debates and they get calipers out and measure it and they're like well i don't think so and like it's the genetics can tell us but again with the genetics when you know right um now the first dogs, from what I understand, they were the lowest on the totem pole. They weren't the alpha.

They weren't the sigma. They were, what would you call that? The beta. They were some beta wolf. Correct me if I'm wrong. Cocks. They were the cocks of the crew. They were the cocks of the pack.

They were the cocks of the crew. They were the cocks of the pack. So the cocks, when times get a little harsher, dogs work together and are extremely social. Men and women work together. They're not men and women, but they're female and male dogs kind of work together. Everyone hunts together. They do take care of each other.

There is an order. Am I still correct? Yeah. And then from what I understand, when times get a little harsher, they expel the weaker dogs, right? They send those off. And those are brutal to watch. It's when like they just all start biting at them, right? And you send them off.

And he gets rejected or whatever. Yeah. He gets sent. They swipe right on his ass. Yeah. And they send them off and say, get back. Yeah. them off and say, yeah, so was, are these the, uh, ancestors? Are these the specific ancestors of the domesticated dog? Because then they become wandering dogs. They're the weaker ones.

And are they the ones that started showing up around, um, campfires and getting scraps? Correct. Yeah. And, um, if you think of it, humans are like super social animals. Like we talk, we hunt together, do all that stuff. Chimps would be the closest related to us. We can get into that later too, but- Not if you don't believe in evolution. That's true. Right.

The closest to me is Adam and Eve, and that's where I stopped listening. Yeah? Where does John Stamos come in on that? John Stamos is a descendant of Adam and Eve. And that's where I stopped listening. Yeah? Where does John Stamos come in on that? John Stamos is a descendant of Adam and Eve. I'm a descendant of Adam and Eve. You're a descendant of Adam and Steve. There we go. Yeah.

Because men can get pregnant. Steve got pregnant. You gotta define men. So, yeah, if you think of it though, humans are very social. Wolves are extremely social. They talk to each other, like you're saying, they nip of it though, like humans are very social. Wolves are extremely social. They talk to each other. Like you're saying, they nip at each other, they submit to each other.

Um, and if you ever watched like wolves hunt on like a Yellowstone documentary, it's like pretty sweet to watch. Like they're, they talk to each other. They like tag team it in and stuff. Um, how do they communicate with each other when they're hunting? Body language and like, they don't bark because that would scare it away right but they like just communicate like through like eye contact and stuff like that it's incredible and they do they set like a plan like well with an ambush and like they force the because a lot of times they're taking down prey

that's bigger than it um that's why it requires such teamwork, right? They're taking down like a big Buffalo or, uh, whatever. Do they, uh, set traps the way that, um, lions do sometimes or orcas? Cause those, these are the other social hunters. Um, so like, like people, wolves are coursers. So they just keep running and running and running until the prey collapses from exhaustion. Wow. That's what it is. So they're not the fastest, but they're sort of like marathon runners.

They're kind of like Kenyans. Yeah. Who is it that runs? It's Kenyans, right? I believe so. Yeah, dogs are like Kenyans. They just keep going. They tire you out.

So they tire you out. They keep running, keep running until they find a mark, right? They find someone slipping behind, usually one of the children, one of the younger ones, smaller one. And then that one's fucked.

Let me ask you a question. Yeah. Why are animals? So dogs are brilliant. Orcas are brilliant. Hyenas are fucking wild. Yeah. As you know,

lions are even a little smarter. Why are these big animals so fucking stupid that they don't realize, Hey guys, we got these little fucks chasing us. We're huge. There's a bunch of us. If we just stop running and turn around and stomp the shit out of these fucking canines, they won't never be able to eat again. Is it just nature? It's programmed? Because I'm not wrong, right?

I mean, they're so much bigger than the wolves. I think it does happen sometimes, but like why they don't always do that, no idea. Like they don't really have that. Maybe the dogs just annoy them so much. They just keep chasing them. Maybe they turn around a few times and they're like, all right,

this time's going to intimidate them. I'm going to intimidate them now. And the dog just backs off and then they keep running and the dog just keeps, that's kind of what happens in a tire man. They just kind of give up, right? God, eat me, right?

Yeah, and then they just, yeah. yeah they have to sit there and suffer for like hours while wolf eats them but um humans though back to the sociality would have noticed that like they would have watched wolves and probably hyenas in africa do what they do um and kind of mimicked that especially when they left africa went to where wolves more you know exist um there were wolves in Africa, though. But yeah, so those rejected dogs or wolves would have come by human camps and known like, OK, these things aren't going to stab me if I don't bite them. So people would have just kind of thrown it like a piece of meat.

But it was more that they were scavenging for years. And then people realized like, OK, you know, Yanni, the wolf isn't going to bite me, so he's cool. So these beta wolves, these banished wolves, desperate wolves looking for food because you can't hunt on your own when you're a lone dog, right? It's kind of hard. You have to scavenge. It's harder.

Yeah. And then you're also subject to the dangers of other prey. They sort of cut a deal with humans, very Hobbesian deal. Like, hey, you know, I can help you survive. You can help me survive. When did that begin? When did it go from here's a couple scraps, pet you on the head, to all right, now I'm going to breed you guys and start using you for jobs when did that start

a fascinating thing about dogs is and obviously you know this a lot of people don't know is they they have this malleable gene that no other animal has right that like you can tailor them in a couple generations to a particular job right yeah like any domestic animal you can but, but it's the most exacerbated in dogs by far, clearly, because you have a chihuahua. You don't have a chihuahua cow, but they're pretty the same looking. But dogs, it's just so varied because we just have them everywhere.

So yeah, in that 40,000 year way back, I think that was starting. But by 20,000 years, we now have hunting dogs. You can strap, you know, like poles to them to tow stuff behind them. They have backpacks. You can put them on there like a little, you know, rough wear pack. So that's going on. But mostly now you have a sentinel that can now bark.

And we're breeding the barking in so wolves don't bark because they don't want to. What's a sentinel? Like someone to guard camp at night. Gotcha is and that was that their first job you think there's like in that 20,000 years was that what they were primarily used for first when we were still hunter-gatherers uh there's no way to tell but i would imagine so if you have that thing tied up you now don't have to worry about tigers like at night kind of thing because they'll alert you um and do you think that's what enabled humans to develop their prefrontal lobe because from what i understand there's a theory that we were under

such pressure from other predators all the time saber-toothed tigers hyenas whatever like we weren't a lot of people don't realize we weren't the apex predator for most of our existence no not at all and so do you think that that uh, if you will, from dogs is what gave us a little bit of security to kind of sit around there and think and be like, you know, what am I? To start doing the whole Greek philosophy thing? Yeah. So like our human brains. Sorry if I keep knocking that. Don't worry, dude.

Yeah. Okay. That's the least of the problems. Cool. I have a lot of those. But human brains fully developed probably about like a hundred thousand years ago to about fifty thousand years ago so like that person could have taken the sat at some point dogs don't come until a little later but i would say that dogs uh

just me personally like definitely helped us kind of i wouldn't even say civilized because that there's different civilizations around the world, not just where dogs were, but like you had a better sense of like security. They could also hunt for you. Your calories now double because you can feed the dog scraps, but you're getting multiple more food intake from that. Uh, it just, it was more security, more abundance. And then right after that, we get the agriculture revolution. People start, you know, spreading all over the Americas, going down to Australia. Yeah, it just was a huge boost, I would say, to culture.

Interesting. Yeah. And so 40,000 years ago, we start living with dogs. 20,000 years ago, you start to see them doing jobs for us. Is that what – are they the link between hunter-gatherer to agrarian? Without dogs, do we become farmers? That's a good question. Because without dogs, you can't keep the rabbits away.

You can't protect your crops. You can't herd your sheep i mean they literally facilitated are uh going from you know hunting to being stationary yeah that's a good point i didn't think about that because every place where there is agriculture there were dogs and agriculture comes about after the end of the pleistocene so the ice age about 10 000000 years ago, world starts to warm. Now all those like abundant grasses are now coming out of the tundra and they're like, oh, we can keep like reproducing these. But all of those places, they already had dogs. I think you might be right. Like you can stay in one spot and not have to worry about like predators and stuff because you have a dog protecting the field. It was sort of like the

ancient ADT system. Yeah. You had a dog. it's like you had a sticker you had that adt sticker and uh whether you were bluffing or not you know because a lot of times all you need is that sticker you get that sticker you know criminals will go he's got an adt sick you know so um do you know much about basenjis uh a little bit yeah so so because they're like one of the ancient breeds in africa right and they say they used to scare off lions and stuff like that um is there a most ancient breed uh like what uh i know there's some newer ones like a pit bulls and newer use those for fightings like what were those first dogs like did Did they look like dingoes? Because when you look at the ancient Egyptian, which isn't that long ago, if you think about how long dogs have been around. No.

Like what are the first like paintings on walls or whatever do we have of dogs? Like how far back do we have evidence of what they look like? So I guess to answer the other question before too with that, like once Neolithic starts and we have more sedentary lifestyles, you now have kennel masters that can now focus all day on making dogs because you're not hunting all day. So they can breed different breeds of dogs to do different things. So that's when that started. For sure.

But before that, when it was a wolf kind of thing into a dog, it probably looked just like a dingo, maybe a different colored coat. But most of the dogs that are in southeast asia and the ones that were in the americas like amerindian dogs all look like dingoes i would imagine do you think that uh chihuahuas are like the joe pesci of dogs from goodfellas uh no why would you say that i mean because they're fucking you know they think that they're big they think that they're big i i at one point i had a chihuahua and a pit mix and the chihuahua used to jump up and bite the pit and hang on its lip like that jesus like uh what were the chihuahuas weren't they used as like piranha dogs or was that a rumor that like uh incans because they're from they're from they're native to

you know i'm jumping ahead yeah i got so many fucking questions for you. Yeah. This is one of my favorite topics in the world, so I'm jumping ahead. I'll get to that. But yeah, keep us here. Yeah, I'm all over the place. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I need, does anyone have Ritalin?

I'm on it right now. I'm on Adderall. You're on Adderall? Yeah. Okay, good. My mouth is extremely dry, so. You want some water? I could take some water.

Yeah. Yeah. So where are we at? Dogs. Chihuahuas right there's a dog in mexico that was bred by the aztecs or one of the cultures there that was like used it's hairless and they used it as like a heating pad on their knees or the elbows for like joints and stuff well yeah so like dogs all over the world serve like such specific functions and like i would call them a tool and another author or researcher calls them a biotechnology because you literally have

a flesh robot is what a dog is right like not like that but like a one that you could you can not like evil that he's referring to not like evil Lovia's literal flesh pussy. Right. Should make a dog line of them, I guess. Yeah. They do specific things. And you can have it hunt and hunt for you. You can have it protect the camp. You can have them pull plows and stuff like that.

Lick peanut butter off your pussy. Whatever you want to do. Whatever you want. And then sled dogs. They live to serve people which is it's kind of sad but also fascinating sled dogs their endurance is nuts right yeah dude and like the Inuit just like left them outside all day or not maybe not the Inuit one of those arctic cultures just like the dog could never come in but they would let one dog

inside and give that a name and therefore like it now has a soul kind of thing like that. There's – every culture has something so specific. And that's why I love this subject because everyone loves dogs. And you have a specific relationship with the dog. And like throughout the world and world history, like they all have such specific mythologies behind them. I love how we're jumping around. But let's keep the theme going. No, it's my fault.

But let's keep the theme going. No, it's my fault. But let's keep the theme going. So dogs originate first where? Africa? We see them. So I guess the Basenji is one of the most ancient dogs that's in Africa. We start to see it there. East Asia. And then take me through its travel.

Yeah. So Siberia, East Asia area, where it was like really cold and glaciated, there was just some, at that 20,000 year mark, some isolation that happened there where that cooperation had to come about. And from there, those dogs now take a line that goes to the Americas. Another line goes down to China and like over to Europe and Eurasia and like those as the original area. But the oldest dog DNA, I think, comes in like it's like like the Shar-Pays and like those weird Chinese dogs because it's in that original area. And the Amerindian dogs, which are now all extinct, also had some of that as well.

But then that gets brought over to Europe and Africa and everything like that. So it just kind of spreads. So when humans walked up to Europe, europe eurasia they brought dogs with them for sure and then the dogs changed based on the environment there and what the humans needed them to do in that environment absolutely because if you think about it you're if you're a hunter gatherer group you're meeting up with somebody else to trade like either mates or food or stone you now have dogs too and you're like my dogs are really fast and they're like oh mine are really lazy so like you trade for like cheese or something you know and like

you just made out cheese but trade them and now you have a trade good and then dogs just spread rapidly like that right because it's a tool i've read that dogs are considered from an evolutionary standpoint with humans to be the most successful species because they thrive in all environments and you don't see that with other um species yeah that's a good thing it's either us dogs or cats and i think dogs definitely take the win yeah yeah um when Um, when did you find something when you were digging that kind of blew your mind? Um, so I never found a dog per se. Um, but there's a site out in Wyoming where they found like a mass or a mammoth that was butchered.

And then like they found that road out of a river they went back and tested more and then they found like a whole village around that and then they pushed back and now there's like a whole it looks like these people just set up camp and were processing the mammoth hides and they brought like ochre like the paint from like miles away to like either paint the hides or dye them or like some ceremony thing but like yeah it's just sick and then they found a um like a point that they used to kill the mammoth and it had like mammoth blood on it and everything and sick yeah so that was pretty sick nothing to do with dogs but if they find a dog at that site i would like nut because it's like pretty cool yeah um dogs were with native americans yes dogs Americans? Yes. Dogs with Vikings? Yes. Dogs, were they with Aborigines or did they make it to

pre-conquered Australia? They weren't with the original band that got there, but we know dingoes are there at least 3 000 years ago because that's where the bones come about but 10 000 years genetically it seems they were there so dingoes are awesome yeah dingoes are interesting because dingoes were domesticated dogs that were brought with the who brought the dingoes do you know i don't know. Just like more Austronesian people coming into Australia. Okay. So when those people got on their boats and came there, they brought the domesticated dogs. Those dogs went wild.

They were – and then they started to pack up and resort to their wild ways. So dingoes are actually a dog that got domesticated and then went back wild and changed within the species. And now they're their own, what, subspecies or I'm not an egghead. What is that called? Canis lupus dingo. Canis lupus dingo. So it's different than a domesticated dog, but it's, how wild is that? So it's ancestors are wolf, his ancestors are wolf, domesticated dog back to like in between wolf and dog. Yeah. And Australia, like there's no natural predators other than the Tasmanian tiger, which they kind of just pushed out.

It's like Europeans came and finished it off, but dingoes being extremely adapted to doing exactly what they did just pushed them away. And now they have an entire continent of kangaroos to just like mow down on. Dingoes are cool. And occasionally a baby. Occasionally a baby. And that dingo actually did eat that baby did it i think ultimately they found out that the baby was eaten by the dingo oh shit yeah because for a while they were saying it didn't if you don't know what we're talking about it's a big thing that became an expression the dingo ate my baby it was funny it was an australian woman who said on the news my dingo ate my baby and um the

dingo i think apparently did eat the baby damn dingoes and a lot of people in australia do take dingoes as pets i said sometimes right i think i've seen that yeah yeah uh yeah they're cool looking too they're they're cool yeah what um when did dogs start to become pets when did they do we know historically when they went from job to, hey, sit on a king's lap or, you know, this rich woman wants to hold it like Paris Hilton, like maybe the Paris Hilton of Egypt or whatever. Yeah. When did they just like have not have a job and make the other dogs upset going like, really? I'm putting money into the tax system yeah you're just fucking lazy living off you know living off social security um i would say

egypt when did they start making democrat dogs live off the system yeah and all the republican dogs were like get a fucking job yeah the blue-collar dogs um literally blue-collared um yeah so they there's no way to tell uh bone wise i think you can tell like ancient china ancient egypt we know in ancient egypt and like mesopotamia they got paintings of it like frescoes and the pharaohs had little dogs and they had greyhound type things for racing and um and then anubis like the god um is a dog right he's got the jackal He's a jackal, really. Yeah.

Yeah. Every culture has a dog god or some kind of dog mythology that has to do with death, which is pretty cool. So dogs have been extremely important to humans from hunter-gatherer on. Yeah. Hunter-gatherer to agrarian to civilization. Yeah. They've been extremely important, and there's evidence of it in the frescas, in burial. So do we find dogs buried with humans in these cultures?

And can we extrapolate from that that the dog was part of the family? Did they adorn the dog? What do we find there? Yeah. So before I talked about how you now have something that can bring you more calories and you feed it less calories than you need to really. If you think about it, why would ancient hunter-gatherers spend extra calories and time nursing a dog when they don't need to or nursing another animal? But now you start to see burials appear. Like 14,000 years ago, there was one in Germany, the one in israel about 10 000 years ago there's a

bunch in siberia uh like you can now see that they were investing this time into caring for it and the one in germany had distemper they healed it back to life and then it died again um you know what can you do but they essentially you know you start burying something and you give it humanity in that way which i think is probably the most important thing about the relationship with dogs. It's like they're a reflection of us in a way. And it gives people a reason to be like, okay, this is what humanity is in a way. And you extend that to the dog when you bury it. Right.

So they started treating dogs like humans, like a little bit, burying them. First off, burying a dog is sort of anthropomorphizing it a little bit burying them yeah first off burying a dog is sort of human anthropomorphizing it a little bit yeah for sure um that you're giving it like dignity in a way it's pretty cool um but yeah you see those burials appear um lots of like cemeteries for dogs like tombs for dogs and things that all over the place yeah and um did did people eat dogs oh yeah all over all over not just you know see i'm on tiktoks i gotta be careful with this kind of stuff right everyone asks me all the time and it would go pretty wild if i posted about it but i can't right tiktok's very street you can

you know you can be 13 and be half naked dancing but god forbid you say anything true that happened and they may ban you yeah i had some pretty bad videos that performed badly and then i spoke chinese in the first one like one after that went right back up i'm telling you dude come with me man let's just wait on the pacific ocean and wait till we see those first submarines come up and we just go like this we go and we go this way like that hunchback in sparta just go this way oh my god witherspoon's beach house is here we can set up camp here f-e-l-t's i think was his name um yeah anyway sorry i get shit the uh what was your question sorry i went off eating dogs ccp right

yes dogs dogs we know that that happens there yeah we know that that happens there uh yeah so every culture i think uh because you can archaeologically you can see cut marks on the bone like where you were um yeah at the joints where you're skinning it and cutting it up um all over and if you think about it you have an emergency food source so like polynesians going to the different islands clearly like if they got lost they could eat a dog before they might be able to find fish i don't know but um all over eurasia uh native americans for sure like there's dogs that were eaten all over either as a food source but then there's also like cannibalism is a huge thing in anthropology as well but like is a dog human and therefore is

it is it cannibalism in a way but where i'm going with this is if you have a hunting dog that's awesome and you like you're sad that it's dead or whatever you can now eat that dog and you can get its power so like oh that's how cannibalism that's called endo cannibalism and what cultures did that I believe indigenous American cultures for sure well there's ones in Siberia we're not entirely sure if that's the case like way long ago right but we can just infer if they were like caring for these dogs and hunting with them then they eat them probably something to do with that and that was a belief that they had that if they ate the dog the power of the dog comes into them um i would imagine so like i haven't eaten a dog i would um if it was presented and you know like i wouldn't eat like my dog i

guess right this is getting in some weird territory but like we might get demonetized right but uh yeah like if i don't know like i wouldn't eat mine to just so weird to have its power you know you wouldn't you wouldn't eat yours if you were hungry and you went on grubhub and all the restaurants were closed right yeah but if you were starving yeah you might consider it yeah and we have to imagine back then the context is eating was a little much harsher of a uh what's the word much harsher of an expectation i guess yeah it's not or it wasn't you know it wasn't as easy as making a phone call no yeah so yeah if you think about it like you could like your dog could sacrifice itself for that kind of thing i just you know getting in the mind of those people it's problematic in a way, but also it's just,

you can go wild with what they thought. So you study the relationship between humans and dogs through the archaeological perspective. And then there's another facet, another aspect of people who study dogs who do it from a scientific perspective, right? Yeah. How often do you guys team up, or is there communication between those two fields?

Like, oh, we found this and they go, oh, we're studying this in dogs, how they respond or what, and then you kind of, and then a new theory comes about because of the marriage of those two fields. Does that happen a lot? Yeah. So I work with people in all fields really especially with instagram i can like message and dm or whatever but um they're like academia is just like gauntlet man like it's kind of like comedy like you've got

people that hate each other you got people that do you know work together all the time but like it's the same thing so some people want their research some people are cool to collaborate some aren't but like everyone i think in the dog community is pretty good about it and like yeah there's the scientific people that do all the genetics but i'm kind of the person that does the like i just like looking up the anthropological stuff like the beliefs and all that kind of stuff and the symbolism um but yeah those those usually unite in papers and things like that when you say beliefs and symbolism you mean like what what humans believed about dogs at that time? Yeah, and like cultural practices and things like that.

The training of dogs. The training of dogs. For a while, Will Smith made Cesar Millan famous, and he was a little rough with the dogs. That seems to not be the prevailing um the prevailing thoughts uh the prevailing consensus on how you yeah raise a dog like the dog knows you're human it's more of a interspecies collaboration right yeah you don't have to become the alpha you don't have to get on all fours and fucking make it roll over on its back and Because when I started getting dogs, I was reading that asshole.

And so like I'm sniffing my dog's ass. I'm trying to act big. I'm trying to show him I'm the alpha. Right. Because I'm reading fucking Cesar Millan. Yeah. And then I started reading all these scientists who were like, dude, your dog knows you're not a dog. It's like you got to bond with it and you don't have to do that with force by showing

you the alpha. You definitely want to let them know you're in charge. Like this, my business, your business, certain things, but you don't got to beat your dog. Right.

You don't need to, you know, and I'm not saying he was advocating beating, but you get what I'm saying. Yeah. Force versus. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And you know, it's funny that when we get into modernity and civilization in modern times, we've become disconnected with our innate ability to interact with dogs because we don't need them in America, really, for a lot of those jobs anymore. So people were looking like,

how do I, my dogs won't stop peeing on the carpet. What do I do? Whereas like ancient humans and dogs probably just like, they got it, you know? Like the fucking, probably the human looked at the dog won't stop peeing on the carpet what do i do whereas like ancient humans and dogs probably just like they got it you know like the fucking probably the human looked at the dog and the dog knew not to piss in the fucking hut but you know then you got these women going i adopted this pitbull i got him from michael vick's farm and he just keeps biting my husband and shitting on the carpet. Caesar, come over and put a choke collar on this thing. So it's fascinating that we've come to that point

where people don't have that natural interaction with dogs anymore. They're mostly pets now. They're mostly cuddly. Have dogs adapted to that have dogs do they like now become like they look at you more puppy eye and they become more they still do the jobs like therapy and blind people and like they're so malleable yeah like do they even adapt to like their job being a pet? They know

my job as a pet to look cuddly and come over the woman when she's crying or watching Real Housewives and sit next to her. I don't know if they've adapted differently to that. I just know, I mean, you got a kid. Probably got 18 people telling you how to raise your kid differently. You should do this

or you shouldn't do that Or she's chewing on that. Like dogs are the same way. They all have their own personalities. So different methods aren't going to work the same for different dogs. And like some of the most toxic, like aggressive DMs I get are from like trainers because they're like, you should do this. You should use your platform better. And it's just a toxic community. I've noticed that.

Yeah. I've noticed that with dog trainers they attack each other constantly oh they need to do like reality show on it yeah i'd love to watch it yeah it's very true yeah they attack each other like uh they'll they'll they'll make a like a hate video they'll be like i was watching this fucking dog trainer he doesn't know what the hell he's doing yeah yeah constantly uh and i see it and uh i don't know like what the right way to train a dog is like obviously you shouldn't like beat the shit out of it um that's probably what people didn't and we can see that they had like broken ribs and stuff so people did used to do

that uh it's either from hunting like i got hit by a boar or they just got you know straight up kicked for shitting in the yurt for shitting in the hut yeah yeah um interesting yeah so it's just all kinds of ways to do it. I don't know. I'll have an answer for that. I don't think. And there's no way to know whether ancient humans beat their dogs. There's no way to know, right?

Because like you said, it could be from hunting or – Yeah. Is there any way to know? Is there like a way a human kicks or do we not know? I guess that's an experiment you could do. Like look at abused dogs, look at their bones and see what that that pattern looks like, and then look for that in archaeology. Right. Yeah.

Dogs are also used for fighting, for sport. Yeah. When did that start? Did that develop in England with sort of the breeding of bulldogs with terriers? Yeah, that's like Victorian England is like where you start getting like all the Paris Hilton dogs, like the, the,

the very specialized pet dogs. Uh, but dog fighting, I'm sure has been a thing since like, you know, like the chicken was domesticated for cockfighting. It wasn't for the eggs first. Really?

Yeah. And then they realized like, Oh, the females shit out these eggs all the time. And like, this is more beneficial. Um, but I didn't know that. Yeah all the time. And this is more beneficial. Wow, I didn't know that.

Yeah, I didn't know that until recently either. But dogs, I'm sure they were fighting all the time because people fight. You might as well make them fight. Right. For sport, for entertainment. It's funny how that goes back as far as prostitution too. It's like gambling. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and entertainment. It's a rush. Yeah, it's's a rush watching these dogs fight each other um do you know um anything about pipples not too much i just know like everyone i've met has been a pretty good dog right yeah and i think a trainer i saw said like it's not the breed it it's the breeder more so. Because every dog has their own personality. I've put a lot of money into like training my dog well. He still has some quirks that like aren't great. So it's like not that someone's like, it's the trainer, it's not the dog. It's like, no, some dogs are just anxious.

Yeah. And sometimes it's the way the dog's bred, unfortunately. Especially with fighting dogs like you know if you rescue one of those you know you never know you never know that what you know because they're bred to fight the thing about pipples is usually they're better with humans if they weren't abused by humans um but they will fuck up a dog yeah they will they like to tussle they're to you know and they will they're they're bred Yeah. They will, they like to tussle, they're to, you know, and they will, they're, they're bred to fight. So that's in there.

You always have to take that in consideration. I always, you know, when I, uh, had, um, a few dogs and I lived in Brooklyn, I would go to the like prospect park. Um, and there, there was off leash hours and there would be so many dogs and, you know, it's like those people are, it's very funny how you could see like um how sort of utopian people get like you know too ideal and too when you get too sympathetic too it's like the problem conservatives have with liberals is like liberals always think it's a perfect world and conservatives like it's never going to be that way yeah because there'd be like the dog park would have like i'm talking 300 dogs yeah and a lot of the them were like rescued pitbulls by

like young girls who are like you know rescue adopt don't shop yeah that's great i'm all for that yeah i'm all for adopt don't shop but they clearly had no control or had no idea what they were doing these pitbulls and they would let them free in this dog park. And there would just be, it's like the yard in jail, dude. They would come up, one guy would be like, how long you been out here? And then you just see a pit bull just fucking attack a lassy looking dog. And then there'd just be some hipster dog going, stop it, help! Stop it, help!

And she would have no idea how to like yeah you know pull behind like break up a dog fight i mean i got i broke up so many dog fights and got like bit and stuff other people's dogs my dog got bit so it's like they are dogs yeah and you have to know what you're doing when you get a dog and um i believe that there should be like a course people have to take because so many dogs get returned yeah so many dogs get abused because people we have that disconnection now where we don't need them to work um they're for pets and people don't grow up with them so they don't know what they're doing and it's just so sad that a dog has to be returned because the person doesn't know how to react and interact and raise a dog.

You don't raise it like a human. You don't fucking bring it on your bed right away. You don't feed it off. There's things you can do, especially if you have a bigger dog. You have to be in control of that dog. And that's not by being a good listener. You don't train a Rottweiler by saying what talk to me what hurt you what forces oppressed you you have to have you know there's a reason in nature it's

a little crueler you know it's like they respond dogs respond a little more to male energy when it comes to like and i don't mean that a woman can't be dominant, but I'm saying like, we tend to have that energy that kind of like a dog respects a little more. There's a lot of things that are politically incorrect that, you know, if people really just accepted, there'd be a lot less returned dogs and like abused dogs and neglected dogs. Yeah. I think it goes back to, like you said about how they adapted to like our modern thing. Like dogs are still like wolves or the domestic wolves is their name. How much DNA do they share? Which is crazy, right?

Like it's probably like more than we share with chimps. Yeah. It's like 99. I mean, it's like they are. They're just a mutant wolf. Yeah. If you got a hot dog and a wolf sees it, it will fuck it. Right.

Wolf dogs are everywhere. And coyotes will join the mix too. Koi whole thing yeah tons of coy dogs there's packs of coy dogs in the hudson valley now they're just coy dogs really and they hunt yeah like all the way up by like fort edward there's just there's uh packs you know because people leave their dogs out all the time coyotes come and just fuck them yeah and uh a lot of times they kill them too but they'll also fuck them because it's all about heat right you know yeah know, yeah. And who's in heat, who's got a hot ass, whatever, and they come and they fuck it, and then you got koi dogs. And now there's packs of wild koi dogs who act obviously more coyote than dog, and they kill. Yeah.

So, yeah, like at the Prospect Park thing, it's just you don't – like people don't realize like dogs need a job. They have these specific behaviors. They expect it to be just a cute't like people don't realize like dogs need a job they have these specific behaviors they expect it to be just a cute animal like a baby and you can't just expect all dogs are going to get along no you know some people like the way some people don't like each other so if you just let your dog off leash with 300 other dogs you can't expect that they're just going to roll around and be like let's share the ball yeah you're gonna share the ball no someone's gonna go like that's my fucking ball because i'm a different i'm an asshole dog yeah i'm a fucking tough dog and i want to take your lunch money son yeah and some of them are just like raging horny too so like

it's you're just letting those people onto a playground and it's just not they don't know how to read their dog and like my dog will bark and like react to some dogs and he's telling their dog go away but they're like on their phone texting and they're little things nipping at my dog and then when he like snaps it's like yeah he told you you know yeah people don't read those signs a lot you know it's like there's some people like i got bit it's like okay sometimes that happens that where dog flips because the dog's fucked up very rarely yeah usually there's a lot of signs that your dog is uncomfortable like and and they don't i hate that that like when the kids just run and they put their hand it's like you have

to approach your dog on your hand sometimes you got to let a dog come to you if you read its body language yeah it's turning to the side or turning around it's not into it yeah let it slowly happen you don't just you know it's like when you date someone you don't just run up to them and start humping them you know i mean there's laws against that yeah dogs are a little apprehensive they want you know they want to get your smell they want to ease into it and kids need to be taught to respect dogs yeah they are domesticated wolves okay just because you're watching a cartoon there's a big red dog they got these movies now where the dog's fucking probably doing human shit and then these kids i hate because kids get bit too much yeah they get all the time they put their face right into the dog's face

you know they're they're they're level with the dog and the dog's going what do you get out of my face you know i'm a dog you know yeah it's just i i think you're right like kids need to be taught that because i've seen it happen too many times and i've seen a lot of get rid of the dog that dog gets put down. And I'm going like, if you just took some time to understand that your dog needs to be trained and your family needs to be trained on how to respect the dog, you have to have some reverence for the dog. Now, this is why I love your gram. I love following you. It's like, without dogs, we can't hurt sheep. We can't smell bombs at the airport some of them can smell

cancer now yeah you know uh old women you have nothing to do they probably die sooner they release endorphins re-release endorphins like everything about dogs is incredible yeah and i'm gonna ask you when you're sad like it's weird it's wild so that's what i wanted to i was about to talk to you about um i know you're not a scientist in that weird. It's wild. So that's what I wanted to, I was about to talk to you about. Um, I know you're not a scientist in that way, but you do know something about that stuff, right? So they can smell your feelings kind of because you have changes in chemicals, right? It's incredible. And a dog smell is like, if you could give an analogy between, it's like a superpower, right? The way they can smell. It's crazy. They have, um, like they're, they have different airways in their you know face so

like you have the respiratory thing that you have and it just goes right down to your lungs they have like another cavity up here that it goes into i think we have a small one and they got thousands i think millions of scent receptors in there and they can like recall a smell like they know that dog uh like what size it was like if it was a man or a woman or you know a male or female uh they can remember a smell from a long time ago and like kids will hide there I mean I did in college tried to hide their weed in different places and like you try to put it like in a tube with you know dryer land or whatever like the dog can smell all those individual things you're not hiding it

and they smell like we see yeah it's pretty cool it's insane well there smells even better than what we can see. I mean, because- Yeah, it's nuts. If they could smell, I've once read they can smell like a mile away or three miles away or they can, if they can- A wolf can do a mile, I think. So dogs might be able to do a little more.

It's insane. It's insane. And wolves are, what's their size, gray wolves? Are they like a little bit bigger than a German Shepherd? 60 to 70 pounds, I would say. So they're about, some dogs are bigger than wolves some dogs could like could a corpus uh what are those called the um big there's a there's dogs there's mastiffs and um a canine uh what are they called cancorsos yeah If you were to put one wolf up against a Cane Corso or a Mastiff,

there's a few breeds that could take them down, right? They're breeds like Tibetan Mountain Dogs are bred to kill wolves. Wow. Yeah, to protect the flock and stuff from wolves. If you've got a pack of wolves, anyone's fucked. Yeah. Yeah, that's top of the food chain. They're apex predator, right, with the bears in Alaska and shit? Yeah, and that's top of the food chain uh they're apex predator right with the bears in um in like alaska and shit yeah um and that's not a cool thing too it's like you got um

in australia we always think that they got like the craziest wildlife like snakes and poisonous shit but like north america has like remaining ice age predators that just roam the streets in wyoming like people don't see it that way and you just have bears and wolves that can just rip you apart. It's, it's cool. Um, they're top of the food chain wolves for sure. So when, when bears and wolves face off, they kind of like, they just try to avoid each other, right. Or like what happens? Um, I believe there's some enclosures where they put bears and wolves together because they do respect their space and they know like, like they're related, you know? So it's like, wait a second. They're related. Yeah. So every, there's different,

there's caniformia and filiformia. So in caniformia, you have bears, seals, uh, dogs, wolves, like all that stuff. And like, uh, I believe like raccoons and all that kind of stuff in filiformia, you have lions, uh, like weasel kind of things, hyenas, and other cat-like organisms. So a bear and a dog are very related if you look at them closely. But they can't bone. No, they cannot bone.

They can crush each other's bones for sure. So they're like distant cousins. Yeah, they're like, I would say, very distant. They have a sooner common ancestor than they do with cats for cousins. Yeah. They're like, I would say, very distant. They have a sooner common ancestor than they do with cats, for sure. Yeah. Why do wild dogs, wild dogs in Africa, they don't bark at all. They don't howl at all. So what happened there?

So this is another thing where it's like an issue of like what they identify as, you know, like, or like what we call them, what gender we put on them. Yeah. Like they're called African wild dogs, but they're not dogs at all. It's just like canis or canid is Latin for dog. Right. But they're, they're not wolves. They're not dogs.

They're their own little thing in that family. Could they interbreed with them? I believe they can only interbreed with each other. That's insane. So they're almost like a're their own little thing in that family could they interbreed with um i believe they can only agree with each other that's insane so they're almost like a different species then right if they can't be totally different species yeah they look exactly like dogs they hunt in packs and lyocone pictus i think is the name i don't know if you pull it up or not but they um yeah uh they're their own looking thing uh they they're very social they hunt in the same but yeah they can't interbreed with other dogs it's weird and then they also call them african painted wolves at the same time

so it's just all confusing that's wild yeah yeah um that is wild you're something you said earlier is really fascinating to me because i never thought of that um humans probably learned how to survive from watching animals how you know uh you could see that with um people who lived in arctic temperatures putting fur on and yeah you know probably followed animals based on environment and whatever learn from animals how to eat eat meat stuff like that um you said earlier that you initially feel like humans uh were watching were watching wolves or watching dogs and they were social they hunt during the day humans hunt during the day because most animals hunt at night yeah right um but humans and dogs were both social animals who hunted during the

day. So at some point, do you believe there were some humans that just saw the potential for cooperation and like was was a visionary in that way? It was like sort of the Steve Jobs of his day who just was an innovator and figured out. And then, of course, like, you know, you stand on the shoulders of giants like right there was some human who was like the uh the isaac newton of figuring out that if we team up with these animals we're gonna have such a higher success rate um because they hunt like we hunt yeah i'm sure there are multiple people in different areas that figured out that same thing it was just like a recurring pattern that you could notice,

but that would take one brave person to stick their hand out first. And you know that that guy was probably a dick in the other areas of his life. There's not a finite amount of energy. It's like if I'm creating Apple, I'm going to ignore my daughter. There's one woman I can tell you definitely has a Samsung. It's Steve Jobs' daughter. But you can't blame that. You can't make omelets without breaking a few eggs or ignoring a few kids.

So whoever that ancient human was, his kids hated him, but he gave our species a gift because we were able to hunt with dogs and evolve. Yeah. Definitely, it becomes a human culture thing too. You sit around the campfire and that's like our adaptation more so than our thumbs because other animals have thumbs but like we can pass on stories and like culture so you would tell stories about wolves or dogs or like fables and things like that and yeah that's how it would go so here are the african dogs here can you can you google african

dog if african dogs can fuck dogs mean, I'm sure they could do it. It's a good history to have. Just like the way a Dutch curl can blow a horse, but it doesn't mean that it's a good idea. I mean, it can be done. Right? It's possible. I'm not trying to get you demonetized on TikTok,

but when you do come on the show, there is a chance. What got you into hyenas, by the way, speaking of wild dogs? Sex difference in wild dogs. Let's figure this out first, and then I'll let you know all things matriarchal. Did this answer the question?

Sex difference in African wild dogs. We already know they can't bone. I trust you, dog. If you're wrong about that, a lot of people are going to unfollow you. This motherfucker doesn't know what he's talking about. Yeah, can't bone. Yeah, there's like a whole thing. So they can't bone, which is wild.

Yeah. So they're their own thing, but they are related. Yeah, it's that species spectrum thing too, and they fall way away from dogs on that spectrum. Got it. Yeah. But fox and also foxes. So they're similar to fox in that

way because a fox can a fox bone a dog no yeah you're more related to a chimp than a dog is to a fox fascinating yeah they look similar and like an alien would think we look similar too but coyote and fox can't yeah coyotes will kill foxes too i'm sure they will yeah um coyotes yeah coyotes what's the pecking order right so as far as like predator obviously gray what there's a few types of wolves right so gray wolves number one or timber wolves i don't know or is that just the team that kevin garnett played for is there such such a thing as a Timberwolf? Why do Huskies look like, why do Huskies look so much like wolves? And why are their eyes so gorgeous? I don't know.

Just like sexual selection. In this case, maybe it was, but just artificial selection. They wanted them like that. Why they look like wolves, it's probably because of the cold. Like they need something that, you that's just kept in that stock. That makes sense. But yeah, I would say there's I think 30 or so species of wolves, but it's kind of the same thing.

It's just regional. But yeah, wolves, I would say, and then dogs, you could argue, are at the same level or lower. Wild dogs got to be – wild dogs and wolves, who's the better? I'm trying to talk about – I'm trying to see the the i'm trying to put them on a hierarchy yeah yeah i would say wolves are definitely more badass than like wild dogs for sure yeah they're like coyotes over there yeah yeah and then maybe coyotes under the wild dogs because they're pretty good hunters right yeah coyotes are like scavengers but they will hunt uh deer and stuff that too. I hear coyote kills all the time up where I live.

Yeah. Then we got foxes are pretty good at killing little shit. Yeah. They like dive bomb and hit like mice and stuff like that. And then domestic dogs are pretty good at killing chickens when you don't want to. If you don't, yeah, they turn it, dude. But there's chickens around. Like my dog is the sweetest dog.

And then one of my neighbor's chickens got out and she just turned into a myert like ted bundy to kill the chicken yeah it's usually cats that do that kind of stuff yeah cats kill yeah with impunity question for you as a member of the tribe sure um german shepherds are they anti-semitic i wonder have you ever seen anyone giving you a look yeah yeah um sometimes i wonder um i haven't had any issues yet, but you don't know what, like if his accent, if his dog had an accent, he would definitely be talking to Gator. It sounds like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't trust him farther than I could throw him, dude. I'm in the fucking same boat with you. I don't trust anything German. That is a thought. That's what my mother taught me. You know? I thought I've had in my head and like just never share with anybody until right now.

Like, is my dog a Nazi? I don't know. You don't know? What kind of dog you got? He's a just never shared with anybody until right now. Is my dog a Nazi? I don't know. You don't know. What kind of dog you got? He's a German Shepherd mixed with a Malamute. Dude, you are sleeping with the enemy, dog. How can you get yourself a German Shepherd? Did you ever wake up and it just had the oven on?

I don't know. That's really funny. You're like, what are you cooking? And he's like, hopefully, yeah. Yeah, he does. He visits me in the shower. Like, he'll stick his head in just to see if I'm alive still. Yeah, he wants to see if you're circumcised or not, if he's got the right target.

I like shower at gas, you know. He is circumcised. He is a Joe. Yeah, he's never licked down there, purposely. Yeah, Germans were really good at breeding powerful dogs. Yeah. You got the German Shepherd. You got the Dachshund.

Yeah. You got the Wattweiler. Right? They're German too. And then you have the Doberman Pinscher. Sure. They're all German. They all can bite.

Yeah. They all like to bite. It's probably because the UN was like, you got to stop with the human genetic stuff. So they just focused on dogs. Yeah, exactly. I mean, these fucking Germans. Can you guys just let nature be fucking nature? You don't got to turn everything into a fucking killing machine.

I mean, they even took dogs. They're like, how can we turn this into something that we can use to kill people? That's all these fucking people want to do, dude. Yeah. They have this thing in them where they want to conquer. They just can't help it. Just stop. What is it?

Take that glass. Get out of your ass. There's easier ways to come. Okay? Dude, you don't have, your porn doesn't have to involve pain. Every German, they're either in a leather suit with a whip or they're sticking a glass up their ass

or like the sax is very... Just Jesus Christ, calm it down, dude. Was Jar Squatter German? Who? Jar Squatter? We don't have to get into that. Who's Jar Squatter?

Don't pull it up. It was one of those old internet guys sits on a glass jar, breaks. If he wasn't German, I'll give you a million dollars. How about that? And what was his name?

Jar Squatter? Jar Squatter. Jar Squatter. You have to see his last video, Jar Squatter. He gots the whole Avian bottle in his ass. I mean, they're wild, dude. Even their dogs. But do they have, like, what are the dogs?

They just were really good with breeding dogs and they made some tough ones. Yeah, like German Shepherds are pretty cool dogs. And we brought them here during World War II, brought them back, and now they're a huge American dog. Huge. They get hip problems though. Yeah. What's yours mixed with? Norwegian Elkhound and Alaskan Malamute.

Oh, shit. That's a cool dog. Yeah, he's supposed to hunt elk, but right now he just sleeps in my living room. So it's problematic. They're so adaptable in that way though. Yeah. They figure thing people don't know is you have to simulate you have to mentally stimulate your dog yeah like you have to see the dog doesn't can't tell the difference between work and it's long it's mind is focused so it's like throw the ball take it for walks when it's sniffing that's like the dog reading the newspaper like you said it's like oh this bitch was here oh this bitch got a fine ass oh that's my neighbor's dog down the line oh here's some new dogs who the fuck areing, that's like the dog reading the newspaper. Like you said, it's like, oh, this bitch was here. Oh, this bitch got a fine ass.

Oh, that's my neighbor's dog down the line. Oh, here's some new dogs. Who the fuck are these guys? That's what they're thinking when they're sniffing. I actually do that sometimes for fun. I try to have my dog's voice in my head when I see him sniffing. He's like, hmm, whose ass is this? Oh, this chick smells like she got a fat ass.

Yes. But my dog's a woman. She's probably like, what bitches are coming on my block? Stay away from my odor. Stay away from my fucking boyfriend, Lloyd. Paul Ver dog's a woman. She's probably like, who's this bitch? What bitches are coming on my block? Stay away from my odor. Stay away from my fucking boyfriend, Lloyd. Paul Verzi's dog. That's my fucking boyfriend. Get out of my fucking neighborhood.

Ooh, whose shit is this? Ooh, tasty. Let me take a look. Oh, sorry. Sorry, Yanni. Sorry, Master Yanni. I ate a little shit. It looks scrumptious.

My dog loves to fucking nibble on shit. She's a fucking dumb bitch. smart as they are it's like i feed you every day why are you eating old shit and then look at my daughter's face and i don't stop because you're cute as cute as they can be they're also fucking stupid yeah yeah like that was top tier i don't know how to answer that yeah um i yeah i smell what my dog's smelling sometimes too like when i'm gonna walk like i'll smell like i don't smell it you get down on your own falls and take a sniff yourself yeah yeah people do you study dogs you gotta you know yeah you gotta you gotta get right close and you know risk salmonella to get a good smell of

what your dog's smelling yeah they get right into that shit there's nothing a dog loves more than seeing a pile of another dog shit going who are you yeah imagine you could find out uh that's like reading someone's uh instagram profile for them is just sniffing their ass and shit yeah that's actually pretty true i love there's nothing funnier than watching dogs say hello and just going in the circle where they're just sniffing each other's asshole. They just go right up to the smash bean and go, who are you? You're – okay. I get where you're from. I know who you're about. They sense each other's personality from smell.

It's a world we don't have access to. No. I mean I don't think many people try to smell each other's assholes. But like we could try it and see. You can probably tell what they're eating. I don't know. But it's not something we do. try it and see like you know you can probably tell what they're eating maybe i don't know but it's not something we do it's wild that they smell so intently and they still enjoy they enjoy it

like i would like i'd like to smell a little less like you know especially if you're having sex on a hot day sure if i could smell a little less i can enjoy the sex more if there's less fumes yeah the dog actually wants as much fumes as possible. So when your ass is clean, what's the funny thing about dogs? It's like they don't like taking baths. They don't like being clean. They love dirty smells. Like once in a while, I'll just pick my balls up.

My wife hates when I do this, but this is how much I love my dog. I'll pick my balls up and let her smell my taint. And she's like, that's dog abuse. I'm going, no, that's a treat. I'm giving my dog a treat. I'm giving my dog a treat. I'm giving her a pug. When I've had a rough day

at the gym where I've been out and it's a really like, I haven't manscaped down there. So there's a lot of hair and there's a lot of fumes caught in the, in the taint.

My dog goes up there and goes, it's like giving her a treat, man. She's going, ah, damn nice. That's like a Yankee doodle

candle for that bitch. Never tried that. I'll, I'll do that. Yeah, I mean, it looks weird if you have people over and you do that. Sure. But if you're alone, you and your dog get it. I mean, it's not sexual at all. It's a smell thing. I let my dog, I'll actually take my dick out, pull my balls up,

and let my dog get her nose right in there. One sniff, she looks at me, wags her tail. She knows what's up. She knows where I've been. She even knows what I did at the gym. She knows if I did buys, tries, whatever, because I probably sweat differently each time like what is the most fascinating thing you've learned doing what you do uh fascinating thing uh i think yeah it's the the i mean if i take a shit my dog will forcibly come lick my dick too but i've never done the

taint thing um and i get to shoo him away. You gotta shoo them away, yeah. Yeah. Most fascinating thing, though, would be the cross-cultural dogs have to do with death. I don't understand it. What do you mean by that? So Anubis is the god of the dead. He ferries. He's like your intake person when you go to the Egyptian underworld, and he's kind to you.

The other gods are kind of dicks. In Aztec mythology, your dog ferries you across a river when you die to go through the nine lands of dead so you don't do it alone kind of thing and then like uh i mean you're great uh cerberus or carverus like the three-headed dog with hades right i think and sometimes he like guards the river or he keeps people from getting out um what do you think that significance is that those dogs are in the myths i don't know just shows how closely they were part of our story?

It's the closeness or it's the fact that, like, jackals and wolves and dogs will scavenge bones. Like, they have something to do with death. Or it's the fact that we just want to see our dogs again, like, when we die. I don't know. But every culture has something like that. Interesting. Yeah. In death.

Mm-hmm. Is there other examples of that, like uh that you can think of because i'm familiar with those the huron upstate they um i guess it was canada who was the huron uh like a iroquoian tribe that lived up there they um they had a dog that like when you go to the spirit world when you die if it if you were afraid of it you couldn't go but if you weren't afraid of it you could get into the spirit world there's a lot of the dog or not afraid of the dog if you couldn't go but if you weren't afraid of it you could get into the spirit world there's a lot of the dog or not afraid of the dog if you weren't afraid you could go in right yeah uh there so no black people in that heaven no uh sometimes yeah and squirrels it's hilarious yeah um dogs can

be racist that's the thing um i've noticed that sometimes it usually means the owner's racist right because it's kind of like you right you gotta put two and two together yeah there's other myths like that too Norse Fenrir and his two sons they'll swallow the sun at Ragnarok

I think it's his sons do it but yeah why we have Thursday no Tuesday he put the sword up in Fenrir's mouth Like, yeah, like Tyr, like why we have Thursday. No, Tuesday. Tyr's day. He, like, put the sword up in Fenrir's mouth. So it keeps it from, like, closing down in the apocalypse. It's just like.

And where's the dog in that story? It's the wolf. It's Fenrir. It's the wolf, yeah. Odin has a dog by his side. Wow. Yeah, it's just interesting. Jesus. No dog.

Nah. You guys were fucking right about him he uh yeah didn't have a german shepherd for sure he had no fucking dog no not that i know muhammad and well trump and no dog trump didn't have a dog um do you yeah no dogs in uh christianity are there dogs in Christianity? Or Jews? Jewishness? How do you refer to it? In Judaism.

Yeah. Jesus, I have a brain tumor. You're good. I don't practice. I'm just like a Long Island Jew. But I don't think in the Bible or in the Torah or whatever or the New Testament, there's a lot of mention of dogs. Interesting. Yeah. Or at least not enough that I immediately knew to go search something for a post or anything.

I think in Islam, you're not allowed to have a dog because they're considered filthy animals. Can you Google that before I am... Before things get out. I'm pretty sure that that's in the... I'd like to just... Can we Google that and say, Islam's view on dogs

or, you know, muzzies, muzzies and canines. Would you guys call Eastern Hemis? No, that was, that's Asians.

Eastern Hemis are the Asians. Right, okay. Okay, dogs and Islam. Yeah. I might as well go to Wikipedia. It's always,

they always nail it. I'm gonna ask a question. Yeah, let's find out right now. Dogs and Islam. I'm going to ask a question. Yeah, let's find out right now. Dogs in Islam. I'm pretty sure I'm correct. But that original dog burial wasn't. I like how the first picture is a very friendly Muslim gentleman with his dog.

What do you think his name is? I'm going to guess if I had to put money on it, I'm going to go Muhammad. Yeah, I was thinking Ali, but it's the same thing. Ali or Muhammad. Traditionally, dogs have been seen as impure. Thank God. And the legal, the Islamic legal tradition has developed several injunctions that warn Muslims

against most contact with dogs. Unfortunately, most Muslims have used this view to justify the abuse. Okay, what site is this? Let's try another one. Let's try another one. I mean, why would they write that with a beautiful photo of him hugging a puppy and then hey unfortunately most muslims beat their

dogs let's just try the wikipedia soften the blow go to wikipedia one down yeah let's uh you know there's a whole page yeah there's a whole page in this can you read that i can't it's a little too far from my eyes the quran the especially allows the consumption of meat of certain halal. According to Islam, animals are conscious of God. According to the Koran, they praise it. Baiting animals for entertainment or gambling is prohibited. No dog fighting, that's good. It's forbidden to kill any animal except for food

or to prevent it from harming people. The Quran explicitly allows the consumption of the meat of certain halal animals, which means lawful. Halal? I don't know. Sunni. Okay, let's go down, I guess. This is just animals, too.

Oh, yeah yeah we need dogs gotta ask the hall guys huh yeah we gotta we gotta ask we gotta you know we gotta get

we gotta ask dog dogs in ancient dogs in Islam as they are are really thought of ritually impure thank God

I was right about that okay yeah so there is there is something in there it doesn't mean that you know practicing Muslims don't have dogs, but like in the actual religion, I think Muhammad says, yo, dogs are nasty.

Stay away from these hoes. Stay away from these bitches. Okay. Yeah, I didn't know that. I think so. Christianity. Can we just Google Christianity and dogs or the Bible and dogs? There's probably something.

The Bible and dogs. Yeah. I don't know. The Bible and dogs. Because you I don't know. The Bible and dogs. Because you cover a lot of cultures there, but you think about them. I don't want to call it mythology. Those are mythology, okay? Yeah.

All the religions that didn't survive are mythology, and the ones that won are facts. What does the Bible say about dogs? Let's go to open Bible info. Oh no, that looks a little complicated. Let's try another site. Something remedial. Shakespeare didn't like dogs either. Not many mentions of them. He didn't? I tried to look through

for poems. Not much. What does the Bible say about dogs? Alright, we're not going to join your newsletter. Justin explores the... Roman would eliminate throughout the ancient near east of mediterranean domesticated dogs served as companions here's something from the bible if the dog was considered ritually unclean by the israelites it has shed this taboo by the time of the second century when the author i don't fucking know yeah we're not finding anything you know

but there are no popular myths christian hebrew or jewish that have dogs in them the way that the ones that you've mentioned have not that i know of yeah that's a fascinating thing maybe we just discovered something on this podcast that you could look into hell yeah and figure out and then we'll have you back and we can talk about what you found. You can go digging around. Go digging in the ground and find out what the fuck's down there. Yeah. Just stick some shovels in the Holy Land.

Yes. See what happens. So you right now can tell people what you're working on, where they can find you, and et cetera. And what pizza you eat on the island. Pepperoni for sure, maybe mushroom, half mushroom. Is there a good spot by you? Calabria Pizzeria. Shout them out.

In New Jerusalem, I think is where it is. Yeah, go figure. But yeah, you can find me on Instagram. It's at ethnocinology, but if you can't spell it, because I can't right now, it's at David Ian Howe. You can find my TikTok there too. TikTok blew up, unfortunately. And my YouTube.

Yeah, it's a weird platform. Unfortunately, yeah. Yeah? What's your YouTube they can find you? David Ian Howe. And what kind of videos do you have on there? I do some skits. And I put those on TikTok and stuff too. And then I have like a dog lecture on all this.

And I have like some archaeology videos. Very cool. Yeah. Very cool, man. Uh, go follow him, check him out. Um, go learn about dogs. They're fascinating. Treat them good. They're sacred. Um, as you can tell all these cultures mentioned them all the way back. They're so important to us without dogs, we'd probably still be in caves getting eaten by saber-toothed tigers. Respect dogs and don't eat them. Don't eat them unless it's an emergency. Yeah. I got something for you, by the way.

Ooh. Yeah. Is it a pocket pussy? No, you already got that one on lockdown. Imagine if you just gave his flashlight and it was his asshole. She sat right here though, right? She did sit right there. Did you sniff the seat when you got out? one on lockdown. I just gave his flashlight and it was his asshole. She sat right here though, right? She did sit right there. Did you sniff the seat when you got out?

Well, I went there cause Jared Harvin sat there too. a lot of guys. Yeah. There's a lot of guys who've sat there. Stop and shop. You know how it goes. Um,

okay. Yeah. So, um, we didn't get to talk about it yet, but we got to go. Sorry. This is,

I mean, you know, it's a podcast. There's no restraints. Got you. All you got to do is think about traffic holy fuck yeah uh there's a stand for it too we can do that after holy shit this isn't a this is obviously a mold but it's awesome it's a cast holy i walked around brooklyn with that the other day and thank god they didn't do an mta check on me because i don't know what to say yeah yeah they'd be like sir um all right there's been a you know a woman's got a dog missing

and you're like it's not me this is for a podcast yeah it's for a comedian like it'd be a whole story shit dude thank you yeah this is what do they know what kind of dog this was or this is just the way a dog that's a hyena this. That's a hyena? Yeah, man. Holy shit. That's the thing though because hyenas, it's convergent evolution. I was saying this didn't look like a dog. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like they're evolved to act like wolves and stuff. They scavenge and do all that kind of stuff. But they're not related to – they're more related to cats than they are dogs, but they're kind of related to neither almost. They're very distant. Yeah, they're very distant. They're wild because they look more like dogs a little bit. That's why I love hyenas because they're so outside the box.

Right. And they're so by any means necessary. Like they're very good survivors. And they battle the king of the jungle all the time, the lions. And they're fierce, man. And they're a matriarchy, which makes them hilarious. Their pseudopinos make them hilarious. Right.

Their brutality is funny when you're not exposed to it. The way they cackle is hilarious. It is. And they use that to communicate, cause confusion. They use it. There's multi-purpose. The cackle serves a lot of functions, but some of it is just to create, just to annoy and create chaos. Yeah.

They thrive in chaos. They hunt in all ways. That's what I love about them. Like, you know, if you look at lions, they're kind of, lions are more purists, you know? Yeah. When it comes, yeah, how can we, can we throw that on there?

Yeah, so you can do it. Lions are purists. When lions hunt, they do it a certain way. There's a grace to it. It's beautiful. A hyena will pretend to be injured you know and walk by itself um by a watering hole and then just bite a buffalo's dick and then all the other hyenas will come out of nowhere i mean you gotta respect that oh they love to bite by the nuts because it's the safest place to go so if you're trying to take down a big fucking uh you animal, there's actually a video of it.

Go hyena bites balls. It's a tactic. Is it like a party thing? I mean, are they not one of the most hilarious fucking animals? And the women's got dicks. And they give birth out of those dicks. Oh, God. Yeah.

I didn't think about that. Yeah. You know what's funny? It's like since my fascination with hyenas, there's a lot of people who started talking about hyenas. But I've been on them for a while. Okay, this is a good one yeah watch this this is one of my favorite hyena videos okay so you know look they just annoy it they hang around and you know he's looking for a safe spot he won his wall his boy distracts him and that's it and that that's the

way you get a big boy down that's the way you get a big boy down that hurts my fucking dick that's the way i fight i bite i bite dicks i bite. That hurts my fucking dick, man. Yeah, that's the way I fight. I bite dicks. I bite, yeah. And then look at him look around. That's my favorite. Go back. Go back.

Look at the other one look because this one made me, I used to watch this over and over again and laugh. Look at that. You saw the way he sprung up? Like, what's going on? Dude, there's two of them. Look at the size of that buffalo. Balls first.

Normally, two hyenas could never bring that thing down. Yeah. But look what they did. That is brilliant. They don't fight fair. You know, that's jail rules for sure. Yeah. But that's effective.

Keep that thing away from Pete Davidson. Yeah, dude. Yeah. They will bite his dick. There's a lot to bite. But, I mean, that's why I love hyenas, because they're crafty little fuckers. They don't stick to any program. They're very his dick. There's a lot to bite. But I mean, that's why I love hyenas because they're crafty little fuckers. They don't stick to any program. They're very adaptable.

They hunt, they scavenge, they do whatever. They steal praise all the time. Leopards put all this work and that just makes them hilarious to me. A leopard who hunts alone will put all this work into stalking and hiding, finally get a kill. You know, what's funny about nature programs

is they show you the successes because that's the cool things to watch. But those animals strike out like 95% of the time. They don't get a kill. Most of the time predators fail. You're right. You know, because prey are so adept at getting away from them.

So this leopard works so hard, finally gets his kill, a solitary predator, this beautiful animal, starts eating and then he just hears, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. And these ugly little fucking scavengers come around, steal his kill, and he or she just sits there going, fuck these kids. They break up parties. They are the motorcycle gang of animals. When you hear the, rah, rah, you're like, the like oh fuck our bar's about to get broken up and it's just hilarious to me that's really fucking cool man yeah so that's why i

love hyenas they used to eat us in the ice age too it's a lot eurasia yeah here's the thing about hyenas too is like they got one of the most i think if not the most powerful uh bite they pulverize bone they're one of the only predators that eats they crush it yeah eat everything you can see the carnassials there and everything the big attachment here's the deal if you're i don't understand why all these killers who are trying to hide bodies don't have like hyena farms yeah because they will eat the entire body they will eat the bone you will look at the body and then come back later and it's like gone it's like when you ask a mexican to cut down a tree and you turn your back and it's just gone

and you're like how the fuck do they do that yeah you ever know it's like a magic trick paul verzi has a great joke about that about me he's like could you cut down the tree then he like made a cup of coffee came around the tree was just gone there was no evidence of it it's like that's how hard they work that's how good they are at it hard working yeah, that's how hard they work. That's how good they are at it. Hard working. Yeah. And that's how efficient of killers hyenas are that when they're done, there is evidence of nothing. Wow. They cooperate like dogs. They kill solitary. They scavenge like, scavenge like foxes or jackal, jackal scavenge. So they're a little bit of everything. They're kind of like a hodgepodge

predator. And so they just always fascinated me yeah the other hyenas there's two types the other hyenas are pretty to look at but they're kind of more puss puss the the striped hyenas yeah they're kind of more puss puss and they live in the middle east right yeah they're different they walk around they're a little pretty but spotted hyenas are where it's at dog yeah that's a fuck that's a fucked up bit just genuinely fucked up yeah but i mean you got to admire it in some way, right? Yeah. They're sitting there going like, and one of them you can see distracts him. He gets in the front and then the other one comes around. That's a vulnerable spot.

That is the only way those two are going to get that big animal down. It's via the balls. It's pretty crazy, man. Yeah. On that note. Yeah. Thanks for coming through, man. Yeah, man.

Thanks for having me. And thanks for the DM. That was cool. Absolutely. David, Ian, man. Yeah, man. Thanks for having me. And thanks for the DM. That was cool. Absolutely. David, Ian, Hal, check them out. And shout out to dogs. I got to go take a fucking piss. It's been a long day.