Yannis Pappas Hour - Genderless Witches - LongDays with Yannis Pappas - Episode 23

Episode Date: June 6, 2021

Yanni proposes a triller fight between the Pauls and the Weinstein brother (of Joe Rogan fame). Patrisse Cullers is resigning from BLM to go in Airbnb management, Democrats in Austin walk out of the voting restriction bill, homeless love to throw bricks, Greg Abbot is a pioneer making history as an openly disabled governor, Florida’s transgender ban on sports but Yanni has a brilliant idea on how to start a trans league, and much much more! Yanni weighs in on the Tulsa Black Wall Street massacre and his opinion on people who pontificate about the troubles in the Middle East. Not to mention Casey Anthony is back in the news. It’s a long day, cuz.   Get 25% off your CBD products at https://sundayscaries.com with promo code [YANNIS].   For an additional bonus episode ever week and more content, click here and support the show: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   The show goes out every Sunday at noon to youtube and audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!   Come join in on the LONG DAY Follow Yannis Pappas   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, hello everybody. How are you? Welcome to another episode of Long Days with Giannis Pappas. What a week in the United States of Amazon, the USA. Amazon bought something else, MGM. So now I think they own 100% of the United States. West Virginia, know your clientele. They are offering a lottery for vaccines. You get yourself $1 million or a gun. Line up, America. Texas, big walkout in the Texas local legislature. Didn't know local politics were important until it were threatening to become a banana republic like Venezuela.

But the Democrats walked out and put everyone who wants voting right restrictions on fucking notice. But then their paralyzed governor said, we'll cut your pay if you keep fucking around from his wheelchair. We call him Yee-Haw FDR because he's from Texas. What else is going on? Coachella's back, so drugs! Floyd Mayweather is fighting Logan Paul.

Jake Paul's fighting Tyrone Woodley. And I'm fighting Whitney Cummings. What's up, Dallas? I don't know what to tell you guys. I really don't. I think nowadays it's all about who you fight. You got to get a good fight going on. you got the Logan brothers who are holding down YouTube for Gen Z and maybe some of the younger millennials and then you get the Weinstein brothers they're kind of like the Paul brothers of the uh pseudo-intellectual internet uh characters

they um they're two guys who uh I would like to see a fight between the Paul brothers And the Weinstein brothers That would be fun First they'll do a fight So we'll just watch the Paul brothers beat the shit out of them And then they can do like a science quiz So we can finally find out If Jake Paul knows how to read

I mean here's the deal If you get famous on YouTube When you're like 16 or 17 Right Where are they from? They're from like Milwaukee They're from Ohio I mean, here's the deal. If you get famous on YouTube when you're like 16 or 17, right? And where are they from? They're from like Milwaukee. They're from Ohio. So there's a good chance that they've never seen words, right?

Like they got to have somebody who's writing their descriptions for them on Instagram. I think their talent is just working out, boxing, and doing funny internet videos. So then maybe we can do a competition sort of like a Ultimate Beastmaster, if you will, or an American Gladiators, where we put the Paul brothers versus the Weinstein brothers in sort of a hybrid challenge of intellectual challenges and physical feats. And then, of course, prank comedy,

which is exactly how you know that America is at its end. Okay? When Rome was going down, Nero would just walk around the streets with his boys and beat up homeless people. We're pretty close to that, except right now the homeless people are winning. That's a boxing match that's happening right now

where homeless people are winning. Okay? The fight's happening in Venice, Venice Beach, that is the new Atlantic City, okay? Because Atlantic City is the new, let's call it, Atlantic City is the new Syria. So Venice Beach is the new Atlantic City and homeless people are definitely winning that fight for real estate. They just more houses there is a there should be a census done of uh homeless population and like okay so how many people live in your tent are you guys registered to vote um do you speak spanish as a second language um and they just go

and throw a brick at your head it'll be great So I'd love to start with one of my favorite characters. You know I love this. You guys have followed me from hyenas. So you know I love this. They're called Bumfights. Look it up on YouTube. Thank you, idiot. Comment roulette.

I look down. Whatever I see, I read. And the best comment gets tweeted by me. So far, someone's in the lead already from before we started by saying, what's the deal is with those nose hairs? So you guys have an uphill fight in comment roulette right now. Let's start with my girl, Patrice Colors. Patrice, not Patrice O'Neal, the great late comedian, Patrice Cullors. Now,

Patrice Cullors, she was one of the founders of the Black Lives Matter movement. Now, she came under some scrutiny, you would say, by right-wing media, the right-wing media whenever you don't like a story someone uncovers about you and you have a nice little grift going on take note because who's trying to get you is the big bad white supremacist media the white supremacist movement is behind the attacks on asians attacks on Jews, and attacks on Patrisse Cullors. White supremacists have gotten so good at what they're doing that they're actually hiring people of other sexes and races to do their white supremacy for you. In fact, I feel like Americans have become so lazy overall

that even, why do people think white supremacists are are are that it doesn't apply to them that they're not as lazy as the rest of us because right now people are being forced to go back to work and they can't work from home and they're just quitting i just read an article that a lot of people are just quitting because they don't want to go to work that's great be more of a fucking strain on the government that'll be nice let's get unemployment on unemployment is there a way i can get unemployment on top of my unemployment because that's what we're gonna do so um patrice colors um has been attacked by the white supremacist um right-wing media and she's been called out for her spending habits black lives matters brings in millions of dollars

millions of dollars in donations that um the people who donate would hope would go to the families of police of people who suffer from uh police brutality who've lost the family member from police brutality and i think some of the money does go to that and then some of the other money some of the other money other some of the other money other the other money goes to patrice colors's homes she's got homes she was um found to have four homes she's one person in her defense i'm not sure if she identifies as they okay by the way i'm never calling you they them that's never gonna fucking happen okay i'm only we're gonna gonna refer to use as they them if there's a lot of use and then i'm probably just gonna refer to you as use your pronoun is use okay unless there's six people walking at me i I'm calling you her or him or nosotros. Fancy Spanish.

So she's got four homes. So we don't know how she identifies, but I'm looking at her and I think she's a single person. I think there's only one of her. Is there only one Patrice Cullors? And as you know, her explanation, this is a little bit old news. And in 2021, old news means it happened 10 minutes ago.

She said that she has people to take care of. She has people to take care of. Now, not only are these homes in black neighborhoods where she's reinvesting in the community. I'm being sarcastic. I think one or two of them are, right? um i think one or two of them are right and then she's got one or two that are in what you call affluent areas that tend to be tend to be more white the ice cream man's here again okay they tend to be a little bit more white now hey i'm not saying if you live in a white neighborhood it's a good thing or a bad thing but we all know it's definitely not a bad it's not a

good thing it's definitely not a bad thing okay so patrice colors um has four homes and so she resigned she just resigned and that's why we're talking about it because um some people think she resigned under this pressure because of this scandal where people who are sympathetic to the cause of black life matter were like hey patrice why do you got four homes and why are they all like a million dollars at least each that's weird you are the head of a social movement you're an activist how the hell did you become a multi-millionaire Are you fighting Logan or Jake's smaller brother on Triller? What happened? Do you have a TikTok account that brings in millions of dollars

and bang energy sponsorship? How did you get $4 million that could have probably went someplace else? Because as you know, if you buy four homes that are worth $4 million, that doesn't mean you have $4 million. That means you have the prospect of $10 million or $20 million to be able to pay for your $4 million homes. Now, here's the thing thing let me ask you a question if you're in the business of racism is job security finding racism wherever you look that's my question that's a side note question but people say she resigned i say she didn't resign i say she retired to tend to her homes okay she's got a fucking airbnb business to get to yes drew don't make a habit of it huh she has five homes i bought you

she's got a starting five who doesn't when i was single you know the rotation you got five main girls and you got a couple of biddies on the bench. She got five main homes and she probably got a couple of fucking homes on the bench that she Airbnbs right now. Girl, get that money. Airbnb, three of them shits. Tourism is back. We're all trying to go to L.A. I got to go and I got to interview John Stamos. So I'll stay at one of your fucking Airbnbs.

I ain't staying at the Hilton. All right. The Hilton is nasty at this point you remember when the hilti was high class and now you go in there's no difference between a fucking hilton and a ramada inn it's the same shit you serve me fucking breakfast that's little cereal boxes like this and you have a fucking you give me a muffin that's in a plastic case like i could get at the bodega fuck you hilton even though I get a discounted rate at a hotel tonight, I got 59 points.

I'm about to get a free room. She got one in the Bahamas. She got one in the Bahamas, yeah. That is, no, she got one in the Bahamas because that is ground zero for police brutality. That's where it's all going down. So she wanted to get right into the community and reinvest in the community.

You know what the thing, I forgive her kind of because she's reinvesting in the community, right? Because she may identify as the community. And you know what I mean? She is an African-American woman. So she's reinvesting in her. So that is the community in some way.

Girl, I'm following your logic and I'm not hating on you. Just please let me Airbnb one of your homes. rest in peace to patrice colors's black lives matter career she is resigning to move on to better and brighter things what do you do when you retire from a job that doesn't really require you to have a job her job was to take in money and launder it to have a job. Her job was to take in money and launder it. Oh, don't knock. Don't hate the play. I hate the game, Patrice. I feel you, girl. I know you got a family to take care of. How many people in your family? 57 to match the bedrooms? Anyway, let's move on to more important things because that's not important at all you know

um you wouldn't want to look into that if you were if you were the mainstream media you don't want to look in that because of optics optics what are they going to say if you're investigating the money trail where did all those donations go how did patrice colors get four million dollars how did she get hundreds of thousands of dollars? I guess maybe a million dollars to put down. Where did that come from? You don't want to investigate that because of optics, okay? What you should cover is Seth Rogen.

Seth Rogen has some issues about jokes that don't age well. I mean, there is an absolute massacre going on in the Congo where little children are being killed and there's like one or two maybe the AP is there maybe Reuters maybe one or two actual journalists with some fucking nuts the way journalists used to be do you remember when journalists had fucking balls before they all became digital keyboard eunuchs who lay in bed in google podcasts you fucking losers you are not a real journalist until i see a photo of you wearing a press vest in the middle of a civil war that's the story i

believe because you're on the fucking ground if you're in your bedroom and you're talking about the legion of skanks you're not a fucking journalist. You're a loser, a loser. He has Greenwall behind him. He's definitely supporting the aliens. Thank you, Charlie. I am supporting the aliens. Here is an honorable mention comment roulette comment from last week that I missed.

I was talking about how aliens jerk off to us and one of my fans said, well, I jerk off to aliens. So your move, aliens. So that deserves a little shout out. If Seth Rogen cleans up comedy, the violence in the Congo will end. Shout out to Trevor Tierney 35

for that very funny comment. So, you know, what can do so we got we got a little Texas brawl going on a little Texas barbecue brawl going on between Democrats and Republicans in the local legislature and what I mean by local legislature and what I mean by a little brawl is the politicians from Austin Texas here's how can you Austin, Texas. Here's how can you tell, here's an old joke. How can you tell a local politician from the city of Austin? How can you tell? Okay. Green hair, green hair and genderless. Okay. They're genderless witches. green hair and genderless.

Okay. They're genderless witches. And so basically all the local politicians in Austin walked out on a vote that was a Republican initiated piece of legislation to, to kind of clean up some of the voting. Now, I don't know a lot about this issue. I do know that some of it is tied to appeasing a base of people

who believe that Donald Trump won the election. They're the same people who I think believe Donald Trump is a real billionaire. Neither one of those things happened. Donald Trump's not a real billionaire and donald trump didn't win the election there is no legitimate there is no legitimate and what i mean by legitimate i don't mean like you know like sourced or verified mass evidence of voter fraud that would have overturned the election and i think they know that and that's

why they're trying to um impose this legislation because they just don't want black people to vote let's be honest if black people don't vote they feel like democrats won't win so what they're doing is they're uh they're they're no longer they are no longer um having voting booths next to foot lockers. Might as well go for it, okay? Okay? Am I supposed to pretend like black kids don't like sneakers? I mean, what are we supposed to do here? I like sneakers and I got it from black people.

I learned it from watching you, dad. I got Jordan from black people. I learned it from watching you, dad. I got Jordan 3s right. What is so wrong with saying that you're gonna spend your stimmy check on sneakers if you call it a stimmy check? I call it a stimmy check and I spent it on sneakers. I'm sorry, Uncle Sam. I wasn't in need because I'm part of the Zoomtocracy.

I make my money online and I'm a comedian, so I'm recession-proof because this is basically booze for your soul. There's, so I'm recession-proof because this is basically booze for your soul. There's two things that are recession-proof. Three things, fucking, prostitution, comedy, and booze. And all three are about fucking as low as you can get. That's about the lowest form of relief you can get.

You want that good relief? Go get your sex annex. But if you can't get yourself a Xanax, what you want to do is go to someone's fan-only page where some teacher is showing her pussy lips and making more money than she did teaching gender studies. Or you want to go and see Sam Morrell at the Hoo Hoo Ha Ha next week in Niagara Falls, go see Gary Veeder opening for Nate Bargatze at the Christian Church Center in Savannah, Georgia, okay? Go see Torpedo, the black southern comic,

at Poke Knockers in Atlanta, and that will relieve you, okay? So those are really, or if you if you're, if you're, you know, if you're sad, it's good for booze. Whenever there's a recession, booze is on the uptick because people need to drink away their sorrows. So they're basically fighting in the legislature about those voting rights act. So I don't know. I don't know what's going on. I do think it's suspicious. It's like, okay, because this is happening all over the country in Georgia, obviously, Texas. They're trying to do

this voting reform, right? So they're trying to get, what are they trying to take away? Drive-by votings? I mean, really, is that what we're going to do? Dude, you got people on this planet within the circumscribed lines of what a United States of America is who are weighing in at about 300 to 400 pounds. Dude, do you understand what a heavyweight is in boxing? Do you understand what a heavyweight is in MMA? A heavyweight weighs in at about 210 pounds. Mike Tyson was fighting, I think, at about 205, correct? Something like that. Do you know what I am? And I'm not even considered obese by eyesight. I'm only obese when I go to the doctor or when I get my COVID report back and they call me a white obese male, which hurt my feelings. Occasion. But it's like, dude,

occasion you know but it's like dude 210 pounds or five pounds that's like a baby in america that's a baby okay so you're gonna take away drive-by voting for people who can't walk nobody's gonna be able to vote you don't know you're hurting your cause more let me tell you something right now republicans if you take away drive drive by voting which why there's a drive through starbucks there's a drive through dunkin donuts there's a fucking drive through uh charles jr right ray's jr whatever that burger's name is in and out you can fucking get why can't you go vote vote you know for joey b and kamali at a drive by in fact, if you want everyone to vote, if you want this democracy to be as participatory as possible, take a fucking page out of West Virginia's book.

They are giving away guns. They're giving you a gun if you get vaccinated. Why do we not give burgers away if you vote? If you put fucking voting booths, if you ordered your candidate with your number four everybody would fucking vote are you kidding me why would you want less people to vote i know why you think you want less people to vote because like i said you want only white people to vote republicans or else you may not win another election and i'm no republican but i get it

we need balance in this country god damn it okay these green hairs are taking over i get it but here's why you're hurting your own cause you take away drive drive through drive by drive through voting none of your voter bet i mean do you let me ask you something republicans do you really think anyone, your voter base is either the filthy rich, I would say your voter base is shrewd, shrewd, or barely slid into human. I'm talking about play it to play. We got to go to the booth, put the headphones on, and see if a finger made it past the ball swipe to make it into human past champ.

That is your voter base, base okay it's shrewd okay all the intellectuals and like useless liberal arts everyone who went to skidmore okay or or that or what's that college obama went to in california ostening or ostening everyone who went to a private liberal arts school and is like over educated and useless, can't even fix a sink. They are voting. They are voting liberal. So everyone who's over 300 pounds, who has a problem spelling the word definitely, but can lay pipe in my house is voting for you. The problem is those motherfuckers breathe heavy when they walk fast. You don't want them

standing in line too long, especially in the South because they'll pass out. Okay? And a lot of them aren't even vaccinated so they're just going to have COVID for the rest of their lives.

So, you're hurting yourself, Republicans. Don't do away with drive-thru voting. So what happened was the governor, the governor of Texas, what's his name?

Abbott, right? His name's fucking Abbott. Something Abbott. Greg Abbott. Sounds like a pitcher. You ever notice that baseball players have baseball names? Have you ever met a Steve Sachs in your life? How about a Don Mattingly?

Have you ever met anyone? Have you ever met a Rick Cerrone or ever met a rick serone or a wade boggs greg maddox uh tech share there's a lot of tech shares that's a bad example because there's also mma fired tech share um chipper jones chipper jones this is not his real name but that they would call him chipper you know chipper jones there's a whole bunch right uh what's a good one randy johnson there's a lot of those but you just think it's a baseball name doesn't greg abbott sound like a baseball name he's got a real baseball name thing is kid can't play baseball because he's in a wheelchair he's in a wheelchair he is texas's fdr kids in a fucking wheelchair he doesn't hide it

like fdr did you know's how stupid, that's how good the media was. If you want to know if the media can lie to you, nobody knew that FDR couldn't stand up because he had polio. Kid got polio. Kid was an anti-vaxxer. Nobody wants to talk about that. Polio vaccine was around and FDR was like, you're not sticking that goddamn fucking Bill Gates needle in my ass. I i'm gonna live with polio and let my immune system handle it so he got polio and he was fucking paralyzed he was in a wheelchair nobody knew for his full reign throughout the whole new deal nobody knew nobody ever said you know what i haven't seen this kid stand up in a long time. He was always photographed sitting because his legs didn't work.

So Greg Abbott, I mean, why are people not talking about, why do people not care about Greg Abbott making history the same way Kamala Harris made history? Kamala Harris is the first Jamaican and Indian, but African American

vice president. Obama was the first African-American president. Why are we not making a big deal about Greg Abbott being the first disabled governor? Okay? Openly disabled. He didn't hide it. FDR was in the closet. FDR was in the closet. He wasn't being it. FDR was in the closet. FDR was in the closet.

He wasn't being himself. Greg Abbott fucking rolls when I go rolling. He rolls. I mean, that kid fucking rolls into to vote. He rolls in and hits a kid. Yeah, that kid is rolling. You see me rolling. Look at him, dude.

I mean, that kid, he has to pick up his knee to cross his legs. When he wants to sit like a gentleman, he's got to pick up one leg and throw it over the other. Greg Abbott, hats off to you for making history, being the first openly disabled governor in the United States. Finally, you can be out of the closet, disabled people. You can be as you are. That is a big, big moment for the disabled community you know what i mean

it would be funny watching a disabled guy fuck wouldn't it you know what i mean wouldn't that be funny wow well just because he's got to lay there and you just got to like you could really pound his legs and he doesn't feel shit like you could really ride him hard and he doesn't feel anything or you could really ride him hard and he doesn't feel anything or you could just pick one leg up and put it over here you can have fun with his legs yeah it's just like you know you really um you know if you're into some weird kama sutra positions you could really turn that kid into a pretzel it would be fun to play twister with him and just put his legs where you wanted him to go when he plays twister he's

got to have a spotter yeah who's he's when he plays twister when greg abbott plays twister he's got to have a caddy who comes out and says i think we should put the leg over on green he's like i think that's a good idea and then the guy just picks up his leg and just throws it on the green circle greg abbott can sit like matt lauer fdr fucks Greg Abbott can sit like Matt Lauer. FDR fucks. Here's a good one I got to read. Trump is about to legalize menthol cigs to get that black vote.

You know what I mean? You heard Trump 2024. So that's what happens when I look down. Guys, we're brought to you again by Sunday Scaries, my favorite CBD company because it is the CBD that I use when I want to chill out. I'm a very anxious guy. You guys know that. And this stuff just makes it so I don't spiral. You know, 2021 is going to be a year. You know, we got to get back out there. It's going to come with a little re-entry anxiety, a little re-entry anxiety after the pandemic. Get yourself some CBD products that really do the job. Sunday Scaries, go check them out.

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The Democrats did the walkout and then baseball, the great relief pitcher, Greg Abbott, threatened to take away their paychecks. You can't just walk out if you don't like something. All right, that's the thing. All right, you may not like what's going on, but you got to get the votes to go against it. I mean, right, they're signing it into law. And Governor Trump down in Florida, what's his name he's the front runner dude you got a desantis desantis has just signed into law that there will be no transgender athletes competing

in women's sports he only signed the bill into law for women's sports because nobody really has an issue with male trans athletes in men's sports because let me tell you something right now if a trans male athlete goes into mma and beats a biological male i'm just gonna say this i got one thing to say about that fuck yeah yeah fuck yeah. That would be awesome. If you are a trans man and you could play wide receiver for the Jets, I mean, fuck yeah, dude. Everyone is for that because we all have a disadvantage. You don't even hear trans activists talking about,

let these trans men compete. How come you don't hear that one? Let these trans men compete because we're all like yeah let them compete go ahead i want to see it i want to see a trans man try to cover steph curry that would be fucking dope dude that would be dope if there was an all trans team in the n. Just for like, just to get dunked the fuck on. Just guys flying with their balls, slapping on these trans men's head. They're all five, five, and six because biological women are shorter. They're going to be shorter. Some things are anatomically anchored.

God, we live in an era where optics are real and reality is oppressive. So nobody ever has any issue with trans men in male sports because that would be ridiculous to have an issue with that. If you're good enough to play with the men and you're a trans man,

hats off to you. The issue comes where you have a guy named Gary. And Gary's like, you know, 156th in the country in tennis. And then Gary decides, you know what? Serena Williams is making a lot of money, making a lot of money. Me at 156, I'm not making that much money. I can't even beat Michael Costa, who's now a Daily Show correspondent, my good friend, Michael Costa. I can't even believe Daily Show's still on the air.

I can't even beat him. So why don't I just take a couple of shots of estrogen and then go fucking dominate women's tennis? That's the issue. That's the issue. Now, is it based on when you start taking shots i don't know you know because if you're trans you're kind of like cinderella right you got you need the shots you got to continue to have the shots in order i know the hormone blockers and all that some of

that's irreversible but in order to stay trans like trans is a modern day phenomena without science look you need without science to fix that shit, I'm sorry, that's it. You know what I'm saying? Then they got to cut out your nuts or some shit. And then to grow titties, you got to use socks to put them in their fucking, in your bra. Because science, you can't grow those titties without socks. And I need somebody to pay for my tits immediately. And that's what I'm trying to tell you and that's it.

So they should just make a trans league. That's right. Call it Mauricio's NBA. And that's it. It's just all trans people that's right call it maurice's nba and that's it's just all trans people that are competing you understand what i'm saying because yeah there was this famous incident of this trans woman who like beat the shit out of this woman and like broke her face right is that what you're looking up right now well she's yeah she's famous for knocking out women she not yeah and one woman she really hurt. That's Drew Films, by the way. Go follow him, Drew underscore Films. And watch him catch predators in Jersey.

I mean, Jersey has much less fucking child predators because of, what were you thinking, my guy? Shout out to Zach Isis, too. I want to give Zach Isis a shout out. Z to drop out for the theme song of Long Days. And go follow him on Instagram, Z to drop out. He's got bars. He's got bars for days.

Congratulations. Did you graduate yet? The 12th. The 12th. Before I graduate, it's commencement. Yeah, the commencement's coming. So that's a big deal in Drew's family that he graduated. So I want you to go to Drew's fucking Instagram,

and I want you to say, hey, I fucking want to say to you, Drew, as a fucking kid from Jersey who, you know, was supposed to grow up to be a firefighter in Jersey and then you grew up to be a fucking finger painter

doing that fucking gay shit with the cameras. I want to say fucking congratulations to you from fucking graduating from beauty school. All right, because you get your fucking bachelor's basically means you're fucking socket dick and you're fucking great. Now you. Alright, because you get your fucking bachelor's, basically means you're fucking sucking dick and you're fucking

now you know how to fucking put makeup on. Congratulations to you for fucking hanging out there with that kid that does fucking plays. You're fucking with Giannis Pappas. That kid's a fucking play. He doesn't play. He's doing his fucking skits here. My mom said the other day, like, why don't you become a firefighter?

So she's still holding on to hope so she's still holding on to hope she's still holding on to hope yeah cause she saw this episode and she went what what are you saying is this a good is this a good use

of your time Drew try my spanakopita his mom makes great spanakopita next week yeah Zach Isis needs to make a comeback

exactly so I don't know so what happened was her name was Fallon Fox Fallon Fox like a porn star yeah that sounds like a porn star and she beat the fuck she's actually a fucking piece though yeah for what i'm saying i mean look dude i like meat and i like a burger but if you slip a beyond

burger on my plate i'm not gonna not eat it and fallon fox you are one for rome beyond burger okay when she's flexing it's a little odd but she's a fucking piece she's a piece i'm all for fucking trans women that's great i understand listen you were born with the brain of a female you feel like a female a science can make you live as a female that's all great dude but there's gray zone here. Not everything is just so black and white. But then I do feel bad for these girls that they don't get to compete anywhere.

So it's like, you gotta start a trans league. There has to be a trans league. There's gonna be more trans people. There will be enough. Like if we start a trans league, how about this? If there's not enough trans MMA fighters to start the league, throw some of the like wimpy guys in there okay let's throw some wimpy guys in there and just beat on those motherfuckers

for feminism and i'll watch that shit i'll watch fallon fox beat the fuck out of harvey weinstein how about that how about that you're sentenced to go fight Fallon Fox in a match. Harvey Weinstein. This is the deal. Harvey, you go to jail for the rest of your life, coffee cake's face. Or you just have to survive two minutes with Fallon Fox in a ring. Solved. Okay, that is the beginning of trans sports.

It starts that way. Like all sports kind of start as like a, baseball didn't start, it was all circus shit, right? And it starts like that. And then finally that'll inspire more trans women to beat the fuck out of guy predators. And then they will fight each other eventually. Why do I have to have all the ideas to solve the country's fucking problems?

Okay, I created the Me Too Talent Show and now I'm creating a fucking trans league that starts as a punishment for male predators who are found to be sexually harassing or sexually abusing women and they can opt out of getting to jail they just have to fight three rounds with fallon fox here's the deal i may sexually harass somebody so i get in the ring with fallon fox because if she wrestles me and grapples with me i'm gonna like it she's a piece cuz you know what that pay-per-view would be on her versus harvey it would be huge pay-per-view fallon fox versus harvey everyone would tune in for that would make a lot of money be great for the sport of of trans mma and it would be great

so you know i feel their pain dude, dude. I understand this issue has nuance because they want to compete and that's great. They should compete in a trans league. Just like women are separated, biological women are separated from men, trans should be separated from both. Unless you're so good that you can play with the boys and so be it, you know?

But I mean, come on, let's be realistic. Let's be realistic. I mean, that tall chick dunked the other night. Did you see her dunk? What's her name? let's be realistic let's be realistic i mean uh that tall chick dunked the other night did you see her dunk what's her name she's got an adam's apple so i'm i i'm the verdict's not out on her her name is uh what's her name steve johnson what's her name grenier uh you know i'm talking about she dunked the other night grind oh grinder grinder grinder she dunked and she's about as tall as a woman gets right she's like six four six five and her dunk her you know what her dunk looked like her dunk looked like a kiki

vandeway dunk it was you know kiki vandeway it looked like rolando blackman i'm talking about older basketball players who had back problems who just could barely get over the rim i mean you know what i'm saying so there is a Okay? The women basketball is a little bit more about the fundamentals. Guys basketball is more about flying through the air and laying the bottom of their nutsack on your forehead. Here it is. Here's the dunk. Look at it. She just barely, like barely gets over.

You know? I mean, barely. And that's like, and here's the other news. That's like the only female dunk that will happen all year there's like a hundred dunks per game in a male basketball um game there's a difference and that's why if if she wanted to play with the guys we'd all say give it a try give it a try give it a try but here's the reality she couldn't even play in the fucking developmental league. Let's just be real. All right.

Just like I, you can't be whatever you want. All right. I'm not going to go up against John Stamos in a modeling campaign. Okay. I'm not going to show up and be like, well, you know, I kind of look like him, you know, if he wasn't good looking. You know what I'm saying? You guys are looking for like a Greek handsome type.

Like, well, I, I kind of, you know, identify for like a Greek handsome type like well I I kind of you know identify as like a good looking guy so here it's not gonna happen they're gonna say why is your head so small why are your eyes so close together

why is your forehead so big and why is your nose and ears continue to grow while your face shrinks nobody knows nobody knows so basketball basketball is in the front of my mind right now

because there's a lot going on in basketball. People are having some re-entry anxiety, and it's not as bad as the anxiety they had when they were locked up, but people are really learning how to walk again. And what I mean by that is, dude, I swear to you not, every time I've been on the road, I see accidents like we're in Venezuela. I'm telling you, dude. It's like I'm in Montenegro, Yugoslavia, which I've been to, and people just park wherever they want.

There's car accidents everywhere because people are not used to driving in traffic anymore. So they're just banging into each other. And the same thing is going on at basketball games during the playoffs. Playoffs have been very exciting. It's so good to see fans in the stands again. It's been amazing. This year's kind of a toss up. You don't know who's going to win. And it's very exciting. And fans are fucking like spitting, throwing shit. And one guy ran onto the court. Yeah, this guy, this Boston Celtics fan ran onto the court. And he was arrested.

He was arrested. He threw, this was another Celtics fan. One other guy. Oh, that was the guy who got arrested. The one that threw the bottle. The one that threw the water bottle. Yeah, so this guy threw the bottle. And here's the deal.

Let's be honest. It's always fucking white guys. It's always these fucking out of shape, asshole, drunk white guys who just throw bottles at these athletes, dude. You never see a black dude do this because black dudes know. They know respect.

They grew up in tough neighborhoods and they know like, look, you know what I mean? Kyrie Irving is a fucking, is a Olympic level athlete who will beat the shit out of me and might. You got to let them go into the stands at this point. At this point,

there needs to be, you don't have to arrest them, but I think there should be a clause in your contract that if somebody throws something at you or spits at you then the whole team could come up into the stands i'm talking about you know ron artest style and just pound you just beat you pound you like a chicken cutlet just like a fucking chicken cutlet and pound you and throw you onto the court they could probably take that kid

and just throw him onto the court from the 20th row so i don't know what's going on but that needs to stop that needs to really stop oh man that was the best when ron artest just ran around and punched everybody this guy that was a real wake-up call yeah someone threw a bottle at ron artest and then ron artest what they didn't tell that guy that guy didn't know that ron artest wasn't meta world peace yet yeah okay so and they didn't tell that they didn't tell him that ron artest was from queensbridge so you just don't throw a bottle from somebody who's six nine built like a brick shithouse from queensbridge new york because you're gonna get fucking hooked off i mean you're gonna get a two-piece and a soda yeah and um you know it's crazy that everyone was in horror about what ron test did when really ron artest should have not should

have nothing should have happened to run our test i understand he got suspended when he elbowed james harden in the head that was my favorite you ever see that one where he pretended he was celebrating after he elbowed him in the head and he just kept celebrating you ever see that fake celebration afterwards he goes like this pull that one up he goes he comes down and he goes like this toronto he goes like this to james harden i mean the most blatant hard elbow and then afterwards he continues to celebrate in an elbow motion as if he was just celebrating it's so funny there and then is. And then look. Yeah, look, he continues to celebrate. I mean, yeah, you just want to stay away. You want to stay away from Ron Artest when he's celebrating.

Here it is. This was my favorite. He dunks on him, and then he bangs his chest, and then one of those. Falcon elbow. Yeah, just look. He pretended like he was happy. Like, I'm just celebrating here. This is is just he just happened to be in my way like he didn't feel his body yeah i mean james harden actually got really really hurt from that and it's what it is hey burt i just uh left beats

uh live stream i don't know what that is you should go on red bar i don't know what that is. You should go on Red Bar. I don't know who that is. A lot of hey, Bert's in the comments right now. So they need to clean that up in basketball, but nobody should be mad at Ron Altschutz. Nobody should be mad at Kyrie Irving if he went up there. See, people think Kyrie Irving is small because he's on a basketball court. You ever play that game? That game of optics where you're like, man, Steve Nash is little. I saw Steve Nash outside of a bar cheating on his wife. I made that part up. out but i mean what are you doing at a bar by yourself on the road steve nash um this was like 10 years ago and the kid is six three okay i interviewed uh steph curry from my old show two point lead steph curry's six three so for a regular human they're big okay they're just not as big as a 6'10 fucking mammoth coming at you

and just squeezing your head. You know what I mean? You know what, Ben Wallace could pop your head like a pimple. So they should allow them to do that. They should be able to run into the stands and just beat them up. That should be part of a reparations package for black athletes. They should get reparations package for black athletes, okay? They should get reparations for slavery and then if any white person in the stands

says anything about their family or throws anything at them, you should be able, everyone in the stands, it should be like, it should be like the purge where the game stops and the whole,

the whole stands just starts chanting. Like some, what would they chant? Like kill him, kill him. would they chant like kill him kill him and then we just watch him beat him to death and then we just go right back to basketball they beat him to death and then we just leave him there

and then security comes and does away with the body but we all just recognize that's part of the atonement that America has to do for the original sin of slavery is watch a white fan

get beat to death by fucking state of the art machine athletes. These guys play professional basketball. Do you know how good and in shape you have to be to play professional basketball? I mean, God damn it. I'm a straight man, but I mean, have you ever seen a picture of fucking any of these guys without their shirts on? Hallelujah. Thank you. a picture of fucking any of these guys without their shirts on? Oh, yeah.

Thank you. Yanni's the best comedian for 2021. I'll read that comment. Maybe you'll win comment roulette. Put that in the notes. So Jake Paul's fighting Tyrone Woodley now, right? And Jake Paul signed to Showbox. So now he has to fight for real right they you know

they don't fake it I think that um it when he fought um Ben Askren that might have been faked a little bit but I don't think Tyrone Woodley's gonna fake this Jake Jake Jake Paul's gonna get he's gonna get beat the fuck up he's gonna get beat the fuck up because Tyrone Woodley can take a hit and he's in shape the only reason why Ben Askren went down, if it was real, is because Ben Askren, I mean, Ben Askren looked like Jesse. It looked like Jesse going to fight. He had Jesse's body. I'm not saying you got a bad body, but neither did he.

I mean, I would kill to look like Ben Askren. But I'm saying there's a difference between what Ben Askren's body is supposed to look like and what Ty, just Google Tyrone Woodley without his shirt off. I mean, Tyrone Woodley knows how to strike. I mean, he's more of a wrestler than a grappler, but he knows how to fucking strike. I mean, look how great Ben, Ben Askren looks like me when I'm like fully in shape.

Well, that was back then. Yeah, Ben Askren looks like me when I was trying to walk on at American University to play basketball. I mean, that is Tyrone Woodley. Looks like the Hulk, that guy? Yeah, that's Tyrone Woodley. So, Jakey Paul, I don't know if you're going to be able to prank comedy your way out of this shit.

Okay? You got hands. Yeah. You may want to order a stretcher for your private plane out of there. Because look at that. I mean, now Tyrone Woodley's done nothing but lose recently. And his MMA career is probably over. And that's why he's maybe doing this.

But I mean, to beat Jake Paul in a striking match, he's got a very good chance. If Jake Paul wins this fight, then look, Jake Paul's a boxer, dude. Even though Tyrone Woodley's not a boxer, he's a fighter. He's a real fighter. Then after this,

no more of this fighting non-boxers, though. He's got to start fighting some... If he wins this, he's got to start fighting boxers. That's it. Tyson Fury's brother called him out. That's right. It's just like when a lot of these West Coast comedians start getting success and heat from the industry.

It's like, okay, now they're calling you a comedian. Now you've got to go on the lineup with an East Coast comedian. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Giannis Pappas, give us squeaky or you'll have blood in your tzatziki. That's a good one. And also basketball, what's going on with the masks? What are we doing?

Okay, the guys go on the court and they play basketball without the mask. And then they go sit down on the bench and they wear the mask. Everyone's vaccinated. There's 15,000. What's the difference between 15,000 people in the stands or 19,000? Just go back to full capacity. At this point, it's selfish what you're doing. Okay. I understand how before not wearing a mask and spreading the disease or gathering in public without masks was selfish, only yourself but at this point i mean half the population is vaccinated if you're not vaccinated it's on you we've talked about that in the show but if you got 15 000 people in the stands what the fuck scientifically is different between 15 000 and 19 000 go back to fucking full capacity so people can get back to work there's people who want to walk around and sell fucking peanuts

there's people who want to fucking walk around and sell beer. There's people who have jobs that aren't just people sitting somewhere going, oh my God, what are the optics? What are the optics? Okay, when LeBron James goes back on the fucking bench, he has to put a mask on or else what message are we sending to our young vulnerable populations? Fuck them at this point.

Fuck them, dude. We put the whole world on hold for a year to save their fucking life. They have a chance to get vaccinated. If they haven't, fuck them. Fuck them. You can't save every weak link. If you don't believe in the vaccine it's your choice but you have to enact yanni law number six if you need to go to the hospital and they say why

aren't you vaccinated you say because donald trump won the election recover at home you have to recover at home do you have some family members you would like to be by your bedside as you as the oxygen slowly slips out of your fucking airbags we need solutions man we need real world solutions yanni is the fucking solution why do i keep coming up with these great ideas can can someone tell me if i'm wrong i don't think so i don't think so i'm right here okay this is selfish people need to get back to work we've thought about those people for a year now it's time to think about all the people who need to get back to work who are struggling for every other reason that has to do with the economy we can't worry about our vulnerable population for another year two or three there's a vaccine

motherfuckers there's a max. And all these people who say science, respect the science. This has nothing to do with fucking science, where you're on the court breathing heavy without your mask. And then you go sit down and you put your mask on. Double fuck you, baby. Bang, bang, bang, bang, Texas style. I support you, Texas. I went to a Rangers home opener and it was fully packed and it was just nice to be around some fucking rednecks for a change because I'm so sick of that judgment

Jesus Christ dude take the mask off even the president has said vaxxed or masked if you're vaxxed take it off if you don't have a vaccine right now and you get sick you should have to fight a trans athlete in the octagon because let's be honest she will fuck up most regular dudes so you do have to give her credit there there's nuance in here she will

fuck up all three of us pretty i mean amanda nunez will fuck all three of us up but amanda nunez couldn't fight like one of the lower male athletes in MMA. They'll fuck her up. So it's like, I mean, you know. And also she could get it. She's 45 too. Yeah. Well, hats off to her plastic surgeon.

Yeah. Also, yeah, creates jobs. Trans athletes creates jobs. You know, plastic surgeons are not hurting for boats right now they have plenty of boats here's the thing you know when the leader of black lives matter who by the way um was the communist so that's a funny one four houses for her huh communism for you never means communism for me because then it defeats the purpose of communism for you they never tell you that little glitch about communism that you can't be all the same wealthy because to be all the same wealthy you have to be a capitalist to be wealthy you have to be a capitalist so communism means we're all the same poor

except coincidentally for the people who distribute the money they take out they give it a little haircut don't you think they take a you think they go to the barber once once once a day say take a little off the sides take a little off the top take a little off the top okay i have a sushi addiction how the fuck is that whole country bowing to that fat little bowling ball that i mean is there if there's the opposite of an unimposed what it just lets you know how much marketing and fear why is not all of north korea just storming that kid's house, stealing all of his DVD collection of Hollywood movies, and just throwing him out the window? That fat little fucking pudge.

I'm talking about the head of North Korea, Kung Kang-Ku. I mean, imagine being a leader of a country and looking like this, dude. Imagine being built like Danny DeVito and having the haircut of Patrick Ewing, and people are scared of Patrick Ewing and people are scared of you.

Look at this guy. I mean, can you Google how tall Un Ching-King is? How tall? Yeah. How tall is that fucking squeak? What's your guess? Let's take a guess. I'm going to say 5'5".

5'6". He's 5'6". No, I'm taking a guess. Yeah. I mean, King Jong-Pung is 5'4". No one knows. He probably tells me he's 6'4". No one knows. He probably tells me he's 6'4".

Yeah, how tall is he? How tall is Bobby Kongtoon? 5'7". He's 5'7". So he's a fucking squeak. He would have a tough time beating up Ben Stiller in a WWE wrestling match.

I mean, the whole country of Korea bows to this fucking fat little squeak. Not only is he 5'7", look at that fat fucker. Do you know, I mean, here's the deal. If you are a communist ruler, dictator of a country,

in order to prove your strength and your merit to rule over your people, you should have to fight a trans athlete in three rounds of MMA. If you can't beat Fallon Fox in a match, I just want, I want Joe Rogan to kick me in the chest once. Just to see what it feels like. You wouldn't get up. It would hurt so bad. And the sternum.

But it's maybe the kick that I'd need. Oh, Coachella's back. Aren't you excited, Jesse? Can't you wait to get out there and dress like Lou Albano and do fucking meth shooters? What do they do? So what's Coachella about? You're a young kid.

What's going on at Coachella? It's a music festival where you... Well, can we put music in quotes? Because let's be honest, dude. It's where you do drugs, people give you for free. Yeah, you do drugs, you hang out, you put on weird outfits. Everybody dresses like an alien and shit. It looks like Mad Max out there. Yeah, you do drugs, you hang out, you put on weird outfits. Everybody dressed like an alien and shit. You know, it looks like Mad Max out there.

Yeah, you're thinking of Burning Man. Same shit. Burning Man's more psychedelics. Coachella's more ecstasy. Yeah, they all do fucking drugs and they fuck each other in the grass. You know, we had that before our parents, the boomers. You know, yeah, boomers are such horrible people. When they did that, they did that for peace and for a better world.

And, you know, for rights for people and to end the Vietnam War. You guys are doing that for what? For your TikTok followers? What are you doing it for? You fucking pigs. You little greedy pigs stuffing your own face with food and sex. I can't wait.

I can't wait for the fucking religious backlash that's gonna come. I can't wait for the fucking religious backlash that's gonna come i can't wait for those you know that that crew from game of thrones that showed up that religious posse to just come and start burning tiktokers you're a sinner showing your pussy on my daughter's phone put her up burning for jesus and you know hannah what's her name hannah what hannah what from tiktok hannah whatever fucking name charlie de mil hannah what from tiktok hannah whatever fucking charlie de milio just i know charlie de milio's up there yeah she's a good one or hannah i like to look at it i picture hannah up there what's her name hannah something hannah stark

she's up there and she's going oh it burns and they're going they're going let her scream that's the satan coming out of her we're talking about tiktok is the satan's way and the tiktokers are just burning there's a fucking uh paul brother shish kebab going on where there's people chanting around him yelling jesus's name that's coming because you guys have just really gone off the deep end with the fucking excess and um excess is that what i'm talking about i like when you did the come on man uh excess i said access but i meant excess yeah there is yeah trump trump would definitely beat him joe biden could take that fucking he's five five you're right right on the money i was right on the money king john who is five five with patrick care his flack top makes

him five six yeah because he's got Patrick Ewing's haircut, dude. He actually, that's actually, who was the big lefty who shot? Pearl Presley. He played for North Carolina. Lefty. Used to shoot from the outside. Because he had a flat top and a receding hairline. So he's got a receding hairline and a flat top.

You got to respect that, dude. That's like, he's a dude who plays, who's in the playoffs right now. He used to play for the Spurs, who has that right now. Receding hairline and flat. When you have a receding hairline and you're still hairstyling it like it's not,

you're holding on and you're not shaving it, it's fucking hilarious. It's like, cuz, you're Bruce Willison out right now. Just shave the whole fucking thing out and then tattoo a hairline on your head. It's 2021. Talking about sports, Naomi Osaka is sad.

She got sad, and she didn't want to do any interviews, and it's a big mental health thing. She got stressed out. Of course she did. This happens to every teenager who has a Japanese mom. I mean, right?

She's got a Japanese mom. I mean, okay. She was playing like, they wanted her to be a pro tennis player from when she was in the womb they handed her rocket this is how much more disciplined they are in asia than we are they actually took a mini racket and stuffed it up her mom's pussy and handed it to her while she was still in the uterus so that bitch has actually been swinging a tennis racket when she was floating around in fluids. Okay. And then

they make her play tennis from that age on. And if she makes a mistake and doesn't, it doesn't hit the baseline, if she goes over the baseline with the ball when she's at, you know, you know what happens to her? Oh, it's not good. It's not good. So of course she's a little stressed out. She needs a time out. She needs a time out. She's been exposed to Western culture now. And she's like, I want to pose naked on my gram i want to be a celebrity go to her gram because she is 100 for rome we're talking about and i love this girl i love women's tennis women's tennis and female mma are the only two sports i'll watch um they're just exciting female sports and i love her She beat Serena twice in grand slams.

And her, her, her, yeah. I mean, her Instagram keeps scrolling down. I mean, she's got some,

she is a piece. There you go. There you go. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, whoa.

I'm going to, how am I? Somebody said, Jesse, you're talking too much. That's not Jesse. That's drill. Stop spreading lies.

The office is great yeah drill somebody said stop it you're fucking you're you're working for antifa oh that is yeah so she's not shy i don't think right jess you can't say she's shy that she didn't want to do it yeah i mean she's she's like uh she's on the covers of magazines right now i mean she's fully blown a piece and i think she doesn't she's not that interested in tennis right now. I mean, she's fully blown a piece. And I think she's not that interested in tennis right now. I think she wants to start a fans only. I would too.

She's vaxxed. Yeah, I mean, she's vaxxed and she wants to start a fans only. God bless her. Mom, I've had enough. I've been swinging a tennis racket since I was in your womb. Imagine she got born holding the tennis racket. So she got fined. But here's the the thing now this is the era we live in now people like we have to have a conversation about mental health it's like fucking she's a professional tennis player she if she can't handle pressure

and talking to the media i mean what the fuck we're gonna change the rules now for everybody who has a fucking weakness? Come on. It's like me going like I can't, I have too much anxiety, I can't perform, which is true. But nobody cares. You guys got your two drink minimum. You're drinking your Budweiser's

and you're gonna throw them at me if I fall down. All right, Yanni Nets, roll out the Nets. I better perform. I better perform or these fucking hyenas are gonna get on my Reddit board. I never go on Reddit. That's fucking where the demons prowl. Trump versus Bernie and Biden versus Bush.

Do a shot of Uzo. Floyd or Paul, who wins? It's rigged. If you think Floyd Mayweather is gonna risk his legacy to fight this dude who's much bigger than him and not have it rigged, because Paul could knock him out,

because he's just a lot bigger. It's rigged, dude. I mean, it's rigged. Floyd Mayweather needs to buy another watch and another house and pay off the cops to hide another murder of another ex-wife. So he's doing this fucking publicity stunt. I'm not interested in it.

If you're interested in it, you're an idiot. It's rigged. There's no way that's not going to be rigged. Don't you think? I mean, when they were talking to each other, it seemed pretty serious. Logan said, where's your wife? It's pretty nuts. Yeah, but Floyd doesn't care about that shit.

He's like, yo, say whatever. I already paid off the cops. Let's make some money. Yeah, Floyd's winning round three. You think Floyd winning round three? I don't shit. He's like, yo, say whatever. I already paid off the cops. You know, let's make some money. Yeah. Floyd's winning round like three. You think Floyd winning round three? I don't know. It's a stupid thing. Osaka is that typical IG influencer talks about her mental health while spreading her cheeks

for only fans. There you have it. I can tell you right now that Amy dot row votes Republican. No ease. Here's the thing. Let's admit it. let's admit it let's admit it the closer you are to something the more right you vote the farther you away from the uh farther away from the issue you are the more left you vote for example if you're a cop cops are on the front lines of crime they deal

with it every day they got to deal with fucking animals and see the worst shit all the time. Of course, some of them are going to go crazy. And of course, some of them are going to cross the line because they become fucking, a lot of them just become animals from dealing with fucking some of the darkest shit you'll ever see in your life.

How do cops vote? To the right. On what issues? Crime, conservative. They're to the right. Okay? It's because they're on the front lines of that issue. Now, when you go the farthest away you can get from crime,

how do they vote? To the left. Because crime is just a theory to them. They read a story and they go, that's not right. And they just vote. But they don't have to deal with it. If you think for one second,

how long do you think it would take Mark Ruffalo to switch his vote from left to right if he had to be a cop? How many weeks on the job do you think he'd go, you know what? I don't know if a social worker can handle this. How long do you think it would take? That should be, Vegas should bet on that. How many weeks it would take mark ruffalo to change his vote from left to right based on how many days on a job he's logged it won't take long it won't take long and it won't take a conservative long to vote for the left once he comes down with the clams casino because once you get to clams casino and they're, yeah, so this treatment is going to cost you $14 billion.

You're going to go, you know what? Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie. I'm fucking jacked. We all just vote our interests. And the closer you are to something is the only way you can get an accurate assessment of the issue.

You know? is the only way you can get an accurate assessment of the issue. So very important, the Tulsa race massacre. Go listen to the history hyenas. It's the anniversary of Tulsa. I love this. I love that Biden's going there to visit. I love that there's awareness about this issue coming out. It's a great, great,

there's a great need for it to be acknowledged as a major story in history because the Tulsa massacre was a very unique situation where you can see what black people have had to put up with in America because even when they fucking start killing it, also look at Harlem and in certain

areas that black people were like, okay, it was more the Booker T. Washington. Like, fuck you. You know what I mean? You guys don't want to accept us. We're going to do our own thing. We're going to succeed on our own. They created their own little community. It was called the Black Wall Street in Tulsa. They were crushing it. They became richer than all their white neighbors. And then the white neighbors got really jealous and angry and one dude made up a story that of course some black dude put his hands on some white woman it was a fucking lie and then 300 of them were massacred and they burned the whole community down so whenever you say hey black people why don't you just you know when you're a

fucking numbskull numbskulls are like hey black people why don't you just, you know, when you're a fucking numbskull, numbskulls are like, hey, black people, why don't you just fucking get over it? Why don't you just fucking go, you know? It's like, cause like, this is how they've been conditioned. This is the treatment that they've gotten. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. So it's very important. This is one of the most important lessons from history that, yeah, they don't even teach in for a lot of times they weren't even teaching it in tulsa so it's like that there's awareness being brought to that historical happening i think will uh will really give people a better understanding of what it's like to be black in america that was not that long ago i love nobody has a better joke than um nobody has a better joke than louis ck it's like every time you talk to a white person about slavery that they always add like another hundred years on like that was

like 800 years ago i was like no that's 150 years ago and then chris rock had that great lines like till about 1950 or 60 depending on when your town decided like you wanted to start acting right i mean this shit is like and louis ck said that's two old people living back to back that's not a long time ago. And that was like slavery. You're not talking about Jim Crow and discrimination and shit after that. Okay? So the black people have it back.

They got a legitimate gripe and people need to have more empathy for their story. Now, all the rest of you, go fuck yourself. I'm Asian. Boo hoo hoo. Fuck yourself. I'm treating you on a case by case basis.

I'm a woman. I'm gay. Fuck you. Fuck you. You had it good. You case-by-case basis. I'm a woman. I'm gay. Fuck you. Fuck you. You had it good. You're fucking eating meat. Shut the fuck up. Stop trying to cultural appropriate the black struggle.

Are black people so cool that you're going to steal their struggle too? Can they have something? You stole their fucking music. You stole their fucking culture. You're stealing their fucking hairstyles. Can they at least have their fucking struggle? Lesbians can they have their struggle oh my god there was a cartoon

who had an accurate Indian accent and owned a 7-11 it was just like slavery am I wrong I don't think so i gotta do my job ah yanni's days are 25 hours long that is all right then write that down write that down. Write that down. Write that down. That comes from Shee Vant B. That's a goodie. Being black in Tulsa at that time means you're covered in soot due to the fires. Wei Zhong Jing.

All right. Hot take. Segregation was going fine, but white people destroyed successful black communities. There's some truth to that. Although segregation, I wouldn't say is going fine. I don't think that's the way to phrase it luckily that's a black guy that said that but that means he's got some pride i appreciate that i wouldn't say it was going fine it just proved that black people could succeed even even under those circumstances and that that should cause pride it should be like you know what fuck you dude despite everything we still fucking crush it

we're running everything son we got black got black billionaires. We had a black president. We had a black member of the Supreme Court. We had a black secretary of state. We got a black vice president. I mean, if you want to call her black, she's Jamaican and a South Asian, but hey, I don't give a fuck. I identify as Nosotros. Big fucking deal, okay? Monopoly money identifies as money, okay? Go buy Bitcoin. That's a real thing. It only has to have 18 supercomputers fucking support it. What are we doing? Like I said, let's make a clip out of that from last episode, right? You have to mine for something.

It was a really funny bit. I don't remember. You had to mine for it in someone's pussy. Oh, yeah, that's the new, the Clinton dollars. Yeah. Get this man a June shine. Yanni, you look a little like Mark Ruffalo, and I act like him, too. I get pegged.

Speaking of Mark Ruffalo, let's pull up his tweet. Let's pull up his tweet. Nobody ever suspects that actors may act on Twitter. Aren't they actors? So you would never suspect that maybe they're acting. Mark Ruffalo apologized. He apologized. And boy, did he apologize. This lets you know right now that everyone is fucking full of shit. Pull up his apology. I think you can just Google apology for Israel or something like that. No funny.

Yeah, because that issue, the Israel and Palestine issue is very complicated, dude. A lot of people don't know that Palestinians, here he goes, I have reflected Mark Ruffalo. I have reflected and want to apologize. Let me do it in his voice. I've reflected and I want to apologize for posts during the recent, I don't know why I said that I can't do a Mark Ruffalo impersonation. Nobody can. I've reflected and I want to apologize for posts during the recent, I can't, I don't know why I said that. I can't do a Mark Ruffalo impersonation. Nobody can. Okay. I've reflected that I want to apologize for posts during the recent Israel Hamas fighting that suggested Israel is committing genocide. Well, he went hard on the tweet. It's not accurate. It's inflammatory, disrespectful, and is being used to justify antisemitism here and abroad. Now is the time to avoid hyperbole. Now is the time to avoid hyperbole?

When people who employ you said, Bumpy, we saw your tweet. That's a no-no. You fucking phony. Now is the time to not apply hyperbole when you could lose a couple of dollars from it, you fucking self-interested grifting hypocrite, read the fucking lines on the script, say Hulk smash, and shut the fuck up, you're lucky, because you're not as handsome as Brad Pitt,

you're a decent fucking actor, and you got every man's face shut your fucking mouth you cobble hill living you west palm fucking vacationing dumb fucking hollywood actor you're not down to earth just because you went to williamsburg to get a beer one time shut your fucking mouth now's the time not to play that's your whole fucking twitter feed is hyperbole. But now suddenly you're going to draw the line. Yeah. I mean, these fucking idiots are commenting on the Israel Palestine conflict. Like they've, like they've, they've got a degree from American university from the school of international studies. Okay. Everyone shut your mouth unless you know what you're talking about. It's not as easy as that, okay? A lot of people don't even know that Palestine was not taken from the

Palestinians. It was taken from the Ottoman Empire by the British and given to the Jews. And there were Jews there. And guess what they were called? Palestinians. Did you know that? they were called? Palestinians. Did you know that? Right? There were no Palestinians back then because they were either Jews or Arabs and they were all Palestinians because they lived in that area. So you were either an Arab or a Jew or a Christian and they all lived there and they were all called Palestinians. Then yes, the British gave it to the Jews. And then, yes, the right of return and Zionism. Yes, there's issues with that. Yes. But it's not so fucking simple for you to go one bad, the other good.

Nothing ever really is. This isn't a fucking comic book. So shut your fucking comic book fucking mouth. Mark Ruffalo, you're an actor. You're an actor. You didn't go to fucking Harvard how much time have you spent in fucking Israel how many Palestinians do you know

how many fucking Israelis do you know shut your fucking mouth and say Hulk smash before I fucking what's the dull is your face I mean aren't you sick of these Twitter people just fucking mouthing off about the Israel Palestine conflict like they're gonna solve it on Twitter you know what I'm saying that fucking mouthing off about the Israel-Palestine conflict like they're going to solve it on Twitter? You know what I'm saying? That's why I made that

joke the other day. I was like, it's over. There's been a ceasefire. I mean, are you fucking kidding, dude? You could scroll back on Twitter to any year and you'll see people going, wow, there's some rocket fire and some fucking, it's going to keep happening, happening dude there's no solution what do you want me to tell you and then everyone acts like they don't live they don't live uh live well because of the benefits of fucking imperialism yeah no america was just you know you know and also indian tribes you know the why did they have warriors they you know for pretend for dances before the white man came what were all those warriors doing and those human sacrifices where they rolled kids and ate their hearts what were they doing was that for a play was that by for a eugene o'neill play i mean what fantasy land you living in are we all three third graders are

we all like are we all like fucking like fragile little six-year-olds, you know? It's like every country is a country because someone got fucked. I mean, what are you going to do? And the people who were there who got fucked, guess what? They fucked somebody before that. And if they didn't fuck other humans, they fucked some animals out of their territory. So people get fucked, dude. This is nature. It's horrible. Are we past it now? Hopefully. Can we find a solution?

I hope. But grow the fuck up, Mark Ruffalo, okay? I've had enough of you. Act. Let me have the opinions that matter. Let me do it. The problem right now is like, everyone wants to be a comedian, right? So you have like the the Weinstein brothers they're up there giving their fucking opinions on everything

right um now their content everyone's a content creator so like they're essentially doing what I'm doing but they're saying they're serious when they're really just doing it for content right you got to have something to talk about now me I'm doing the same shit to you I'm basically fucking stealing your money and uh you know this this is just bullshit but at least i got charisma at least i'm crazy so you're entertained okay i'm entertaining you you know mark ruffles gonna sit up there and be like you know we got to do something about the wage gap and you're like shut the fuck up and read the lines hulk yes we should just call this episode the long day cometh finally a long day i mean i just that

just pissed me off okay there's gonna be no cops allowed in the pride parade yeah they said uh i guess just in new york city or is that uh is that worldwide i think new york just new york there will be no cops in the pride parade even if you're a gay cop fuck you that's what I was thinking do you think you'll be able to stand in the winds that blow then when the devil turns around will you be able to stand

in the winds that blow then keep it keep destroying keep it yeah I mean they used to the cops just used to i mean these people are acting like the cops of the enemy if i was the cops i just wouldn't show up for overtime that day be like you know let's get a slice get a slice who you gonna call a social worker let's do another let's do a spoof on Goosebusters.

Goosebusters. Come on, man. You sure I don't have a brain tumor? You're fine. Come on, man. Goosebusters. Let's do a spoof on Goosebusters. We'll call it Social Workers.

Who are you going to call? Social Workers. And it's just like the... I did social work. So social workers are either like religious black women or like the dumbest guy in a jewish family like just like just he got hit in the head or something they dropped him because like you know jews are usually pretty smart and like he was the one that was just like cared too much you know we have a friend like that

who just like might have gotten dropped so and they show up you know they got like a little rash khaki pants really really comfortable rock ports you know and you just show up and you just ask about medications over and over again so what's your medications again did we change your medications as we need to make a change in your medications let me call your psychiatrist did you take your medication okay can i see your medications next week all right show me your medications next week let's see if we can adjust maybe the dosage should we go up should we go down let's talk about your medications oh man so um i want to do a work it girl story we We don't have the music. Do you have the Work It Girl music? Work, turn to the left.

Work it, girl. Turn to the right. Do your thing. On the runway. Cover girl. Work it, girl. Turn to the left. Work it, girl.

Do your thing. On the runway. You better work. Casey Anthony's back in the news. Casey Anthony, or as I like to call her, my favorite bartender, Casey Anthony called the police, which is ironic because those are the same people that were trying to put her in prison for killing her infant baby.

But she called them up because she wanted to get it official on the record that there was another woman who threw a drink at her at a bar, which is how I thought women said hello to each other in Florida. So when she called the cops, she said, you probably know this girl, right? Let me guess, y'all banged the same dude, and she's mad about it, because that woman didn't take care of your baby outside of a trailer

when you went to pick her up. She was running around playing in the mud and almost got eaten by a gator. And Casey said, that's exactly right. It was my time for my kid, and I went to this motherfucker's house, and we got a thing, and she was there, and she threw a drink at my face. So she called the cops because some girl, they both banged the same dude. Go figure that Casey Anthony would have some problems with some other females.

If you don't think Casey Anthony is the type of chick to bang your husband, then you deserve to get your husband banged by Casey Anthony. If you find out your husband saw Casey Anthony, what you're going to want to do is you're going to want to go fuck it. You have one choice, and that is kill Casey Anthony, because you find out your husband saw Casey Anthony, what you're going to want to do is you want to go fuck it. You have one choice and that is kill Casey Anthony because she will fuck your husband. Only way she won't fuck your husband

if she knows his name is if she's dead. So you have to kill Casey Anthony. That is what you call a whore. That's a whore who kills her own baby. Or as I like to call it, a Florida love story. A Florida after school special.

My baby disappeared. He fell in the pool. So she filed a police report because she wanted to have it on record if it happens again. She wanted the police to know if it happens again that she made a record of it and she would like to file a restraining order. So she wanted a record, but she said, if it happens

again, kind of like when she killed her baby with the, with the system said to her, they said, okay, we have it on record. Now, if it has it again, if it happens again, okay, you've had your warning. If it happens again, okay, you've had your warning. She got her warning. Casey Anthony has her warning. The police, good thing she met a cop system that was having a good day. The judicial system was just having a good day, and they're like, all right, you killed your baby. We're going to let you go on a warning because you're a hot chick.

If we catch you out here again, sweetheart, we're going to have to give you a ticket. You can't just go around fucking killing babies on the highway like that. Okay? But it's a little warning. Next time, now you take care. You have a good day now. You have a good day, ma'am. Wasn't it like she got off like with a ticket?

You ever watch a woman get off with a speeding ticket? When they go, sorry. Hey, sir. Yeah. Hey, sir. I'm sorry. You know? It's just, you know, my tits and all that. You know, my tits were running late and I just had to.

It's okay, ma'am. If it happens again, that's what they say to Casey Anthony. You kill one more kid, I'm going to have to write you a ticket. So that's a very funny thing that she called the cops. You can listen to the, you can the the call and listen to it patreon.com slash yanni long days for your weekly bonus episodes so if you're not getting enough long days and you want another dose in the middle of the week patreon.com slash yanni long days you got to join up because bubba's i just bought a lot of equipment and I need your money. Thank you. Thank you.

So please, patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days for bonus episodes. Go please to iTunes, rate and review the show. Very important. If you're a fan, just please take a second, go to iTunes, rate it five stars, write a nice review. And let's get to the Patreon names, our new members. All right, guys, I want to remind you about Comment Roulette. What that means is the episode

is live on my Instagram. And I look down, I read your comments. Whoever's got the best comment, I will tweet their comment as the winner of Comment roulette when the episode drops on my Twitter. Now, to our small business shout outs. You know, Long Day supports small businesses. I'd like to give a shout out to my favorite Eastside Cheesecake. I'm telling you, they're blowing up. People who are long haul fans are tweeting me about it, DMing me about it. They're ordering cheesecakes. Go get them. They make their own. I mean, this is like a top of the line cheesecake. They're going to blow up, but I'm going to have to charge them more money. It's what's going to happen because their product is that good. And I'm not just saying that. That's why I have these people because their quality

and they're sending me a key lime cheesecake right now that they're making. I just saw they had the ingredients and they threw it into their story. So Eastside Cheesecake, go follow them on the gram. EastsideCheesecakes.com. They're over in Los Angeles. They're going to be going national soon. EastsideCheesecakes.com. It's Julia and Gregory and they moved to LA from New York. And what keeps couples to get better than cooking cheesecakes?

Because of Corona, they decided to start a cheesecake company. Somebody's fucking calling me. Shut the fuck up. Then we got my favorite Mexican restaurant down here in Bay Ridge, Blue Agave. My boy Joseph DeMonte there. Blue Agave, Bay Ridge, all one word on the gram. Go, especially in the summer, sit down on their patio, have a cup of quesadillas, and get yourself a nice

cocktail what a spot i love blue agave third avenue bay ridge uh we're uh also give a shout out to max mr good guy long good guys refrigeration out there in seattle and palm springs you know the deal if you got in trouble with your refrigerator and you don't use good guys i mean what's your problem guy good guys refrigeration He's a good guy. Kid works out of his truck. I love it. He sits there and he listens to podcasts all day. All right.

We're also brought to you a little shout out I want to give to exclusiveautoshipping.com. I mean, this is the kid you go see if you want to get a free quote to move your car wherever you are moving. You're moving to another state, another city, whatever it is. You need somebody to ship your car. Exclusiveautoshipping.com. Then, of course, we got Rob's Mental Playground. My guy, Rob.

He's doing a high heat in the bathtub for me right now that's going to be in the studio. Go check out his art, his prints. Get a t-shirt made. Order something. Get someone to support this kid. I'm going to fucking put one in my house. Rob'smentalplayground.com. YouTube, Rob's Mental Playground on the gram, Rob's Mental Playground.

Now, we got our Patreon names, our newest members. When you join the Patreon, do a funny name and get into the Hall of Fame or not. Just be here for the content. Join the Patreon for a weekly bonus episode and other content, including the Rigorous Podcast with Marisa, which is going to be available exclusive on Patreon with Marisa and Sergio. So Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. The old Rigorous Podcast is coming back with Marisa D'Ase. So I want to give a thank you to Mike Myers, all the way from the Halloween movie, who's come and joined. Thank you.

Then we got Fat Fuck, who's come and joined. Thank you. Then we got Fat Fuck, who shucks and sucks clams, but make no mistake, my favorite meal is chicken guastadalas. Hall of Fame, first ballot. Then we got Sean Paul Schmid. Then Brandon. Welcome, Brandon. Then Francisco Prelorenzos. it's a Greek last name or what are you Francisco then we got Christian Creed Creed the Christian rock band then we got Chris M

DJ then we got Nick Fasiana Nick Fasiana Chabela get out of your mother's basement then we got cameron spung spung cameron spung a german fuck spung cameron spung welcome spung then we have tiffany what's up girl uh matthew then we have ian ahern Then we have Persian Soul Brother. That's a chicken finger. Good one. Then we got John McCool, Nick Joubert, Aaron Truel, or Truel, Truel, Aaron Truel. And then we have Kip the Squeak from Poughkeepsie. Welcome, Kip.

Jordan Johannesson. Welcome, Johansson. Jordan Johansson. Then we have lucy dietrich another german uh edwin leaguer another german wow canadian turtle good one made jesse laugh then we got megan irvine then we got big boy choy 007 good one duck duck goose good one love it kevin david attenborough is the gary v of nature documentaries real good one that could be the hall of famer uh that's it right yeah just the top all right that's it so thank you guys patreon.com slash yanni long days join also go follow jesse scotturo at uh on instagram jesse scotturo all one word and try to negotiate to buy a baby Socrates. They're

five or 10 grand, whatever he wants. And check out all his art and shit, and you can buy him and stuff like that.