Yannis Pappas Hour - Hypocrisy Fetishists
Episode Date: October 30, 2021Yanni explores the no government intervention hypocrisy of Texas, launches into what makes lesbians tphobes and the size of a particular basketball player’s balls. Ask, what would an episode be with... a check in with Ilan Omar. Hey, I don’t want the matrix bots to shadow ban this ep, so listen and find out for yourself. Weekly bonus episode and support the show: https://Patreon.com/yanniLongDaysSponsorsThe Daily Tip https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-daily-tip/id1572904428Geologie https://geologie.comBabbelhttps://www.babbel.comPromo code: LongDays The show goes out every Saturday night to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram on Wednesdays. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappasWebsite - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Welcome to your long day everybody good to see everybody back and hopefully you tell one friend
this week and we will double our numbers if each one of you tells one friend but in the meantime
let me tell you about what is going on in this great receding empire. Margaret Atwood, very famous feminist author,
is under fire for being a TERF.
The TERF list is growing.
There's a BBC article that was written,
very controversial about how lesbians are feeling pressured
into having sexual experiences with transgender women.
If they don't, they also are TERFs.
We're about to TERF the world.
We're going to live in a NERF world and a TERF world.
Enos Cantor, the basketball player,
is starting a lot of beef with China, baby, and throwing some shade,
dead ass, low key, some shade at Nike and the CCP, and he just won't stop.
And now Celtics games are not being aired in China.
So the NBA is definitely having meetings right now about Enos Cantor and how they can make
him shut his fucking mouth.
What else is going on?
There's mandate protests all over the country.
New York City yesterday, a big one over the bridge, which is ironic because the people that were protesting the mandates were like cops and city workers who were the same people who were calling the people who were protesting and blocking traffic last year
cucks. So
the shoe's now on the other foot
and the student has now become the
teach-a. TikTok's under fire.
Facebook's under fire.
YouTube's under fire. Washington's
trying to stick their nose into the
social media and how it's shaping
our kids to be fabulous
and woke or lit or yes.
Governor DeSantis is offering a 5K signing bonus for any cop who wants to leave their
fucking city that has a vaccine mandate and come play for the fucking Florida heat, baby.
No vaccine requires.
This is Long Days and we all know what the fucking deal is baby Governor DeSantis is definitely becoming one of the most entertaining governors to follow
in American gubernatorial politics.
Governors are like the presidents, the head of the executive branch of our state, which are little countries, which right now are acting a little bit more like Europe in the European Union than like the United States.
European Union than like the United States.
We're starting to have as many differences as Poland and maybe Germany have right now.
And the only difference is we all speak the same language, kinda.
Governor DeSantis has just released a statement where he is offering a $5,000 signing bonus to any cop who wants to leave their vaccine mandated location and come join and play for the heat.
So the kid is, he's doing a recruiting job right now. He's sitting down on the couch
with the family and saying, hey, your kid does a great chokehold, okay? I've been watching him all through high school.
We want him to come play for us, okay? We got a lot of trash on the street,
and we will look the other way. I'm about to enact a law in Florida where body cams are illegal,
and if anyone films a cop, they have to go to Guantanamo Bay
do you want to come play
for the Florida fucking
Novaks free for all
baby come on down
we're Cuban
we're fucking redneck
and we are absolutely
100% fucking
chaotic so come
on down coppers and play for Florida.
$5,000 signing bonus, and I'll throw in something else for you.
I'll throw in something else for you.
Krispy Kreme donut gift certificates every month.
How about them apples?
How about them fucking apples?
I mean, how wild is that that he just issued an edict to the whole country saying,
hey, listen, whatever cops are against the vaccine mandates of their state,
we want you to come down and be a cop in Florida.
What if like a million fucking cops just showed up in Miami tomorrow?
I mean, then the whole state, like the cops would make up like 70% of Florida's population.
Because he's offering 5K bonus.
He's trying to, it's almost like there's going to be an auction for cops.
And of course cops are going to go there.
to be an auction for cops. And of course, cops are going to go there. One, because they feel like it's a state that maybe, you know, they won't be as vilified as they are everywhere else.
Although according to Ilhan Mar, she just gave a very important speech at some high school in her
district where her district is completely engulfed in absolute crime and homicide.
engulfed in absolute crime and homicide and she's going this has everything to do with the cops not fulfilling their oath and nothing to do with the general sentiment that they're all
fucking murderers and they stink so this got nothing to do with me guys i'm here to tell you
that this crime wave in my district which usually ousts anyone out of office who represents
that district, has nothing to do with me, even though I'm your representative and I'm
the top, even though I was one of the crew.
I was one of the defund crew.
Defund the police, Ilhan Omar.
She's blaming the cops.
So she's blaming the cops.
Let me get this right.
She's blaming the cops for criminals.
I don't know what's what anymore right now.
We are living in an Orwellian time where left is right, right is left, up is down, sad is
happy, comedy is an attack.
An attack is a peaceful protest.
Burning buildings is letting us hear your voice.
So I'm not quite sure what to believe.
But apparently she may have a little bit of a point
in that the police are probably not jumping
to answer calls right now
because they probably feel a little less than appreciated
you know it's kind of like after you get caught cheating on your girlfriend or wife
you know and you ask her to go make you a sandwich
i guarantee you that sandwich isn't going to come quickly
i also can't guarantee you that there's not going to be a fucking loogie amongst the tomatoes and onions,
if you get your sandwich the way I like it,
which is offend me with the mayonnaise, also mustard, onions mandatory.
If there's no onions, I don't even want the sandwich.
It's the fucking secret ingredient to a sandwich is onions.
ingredient to a sandwich is onions.
So Governor DeSantis
is inviting, here we go, you want to hear it?
Let's hear it, let's hear it, let's hear
this is Ilhan Omar
speaking at some
high school
in Minneapolis
about the rise
in violent crime. What we must also recognize is that the reduction in policing currently in our city and the lawlessness that is happening is due to two things.
Two things. the police have chosen to not fulfill their oath of office and provide the public safety they are owed to the citizens they serve.
Right? It's documented.
But even before that, it was documented.
The Minneapolis Police Department is the most dysfunctional police department in our state and probably in the country.
The second part is that...
It's me. It's me. They hate me. They don't want to make me look good.
Wait, let's hear what the second one is.
...one that is actually taking responsibility for what the police does
and doesn't do.
And that doesn't exist
in this moment.
I think one and two
are the same thing.
I think that the current
charter that we have
does tie
the hands of those
who want to have
that accountability.
Because we are demanding to have a specific amount of policing.
We are mandated to have the kind of police union contract that we have right now.
I don't know any other big city in the state of Minnesota that has the charter that we have.
It just doesn't exist.
Okay.
You know what I think the problem with Minnesota is?
We got to bring back Governor Ventura.
Maybe we should have known things were starting to go south when Arnold Schwarzenegger became governor of California and then Jesse the Body Ventura
became governor of Minnesota.
That was maybe a harbinger of maybe one day
the president is going to be a reality game show host.
And we got there, baby.
And now we got Alina Omar,
who is a star.
She is a star, baby.
I mean, here she is,
a strong Somalian woman,
left her husband for some dude who worked in her campaign
or worked in her office,
some honk-a-donk.
And here she is, not mentioning that maybe perhaps the cops
that have probably been defunded somewhat minneapolis i'm not keeping up but i'm sure
they've slashed some things because i know they slashed them in new york and then people in the
crime-ridden neighborhoods started crying about let's please fund them again this is not good
which seems like a rational thing to say like hey listen the media is saying all this stuff
and these rich activists who then go back with their signs to cobblehead cobble hill and carol
gardens to their much safer neighborhoods because these protesting kids don't live in these crime-ridden neighborhoods. They do not.
They go back to their much safer neighborhoods
after the protest is over
and feel really good about themselves.
But maybe she's not mentioning that
perhaps if she would have put herself in cop's shoes.
I'm just playing Devical's Advocate here.
Devical's Advocate.
Is if you feel like everyone views you as an evil person, as an enemy, that anything can happen.
That as soon as you show up,
everyone's going to whip out their cell phones.
Maybe that just, I don't know,
steals a little bit of motivation
for you to do your job efficaciously.
Get smarter!
Maybe that just throws a bone.
That's like telling me like,
hey man, you want to go back to this horrific comedy
club, I won't name names, the audience stinks, they're all 80 years old, and they hate anyone
who curses, you want to go perform for 40, how much does it pay? Okay, I'll get some grands out of it. All right, I'll do it.
But I'm not going to be happy about it, am I? For a crowd that I know is going to hate me the moment
I stand up. Why don't we use a little common sense, Elon Omar? Maybe that's got something to do
with the cops not doing a great job right now. Maybe it has something to do with the cops not doing a great job right now maybe it has
something to do with the fact that you have just been spewing rhetoric about how evil they are
because of this fucking bozo this one fucking bozo who ended up doing a horrific thing in minnesota
don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
You know?
Perhaps.
Jay Harbin 15 wants to know if I'm talking about the comic strip.
I am not.
And I will not mention what I'm talking or who I'm talking about.
But I had more of a road club in mind.
But anyway, cops, if you listen to this podcast, there's a great and bright opportunity for you
in the Sunshine State. First of all, you don't got to pay state taxes, which is great. Second
of all, you get a 5K signing bonus. Third, you get to work on the black market in your off time for a cocaine dealer
and make extra side money because the main economy in Florida, as we all know, is cocaine.
So you can do a little side hustle, no problemo, especially in the South Florida area.
side hustle no problemo especially in the south florida area today i'm wearing the uncle paulie shirt here thank you paulie for sending me my shirt uncle paulie's locations in los angeles
line starts to the right 15 off any sandwiches if you walk in the front door yelling fuck biden
if you walk in the door 30 off if you walk in the door 30%
off if you walk in the door to Uncle Paulie's
and you say build my
dick back better
half price off
bodega sandwiches
if you walk in and yell Trump
2024
kick Biden out the door
Kamala's a whore.
You get a free sandwich with that whole fucking rhyme.
If you dropped out all those bars, you get a free fucking sandwich.
All you got to pay for is a salt and vinegar chips at fucking Uncle Paulie's
where we bring Queens to the fucking cocked out Los Angeles areas.
Uncle Paulie's's it's a fucking
out of borough experience
get yourself a fucking east side
cheesecake after you get yourself
a nice fucking chicken palm
with ketchup and bacon called
the Godfather every
fucking east coast deli has got one
sandwich called the Godfather
and it's usually a chicken cutlet.
Fast fingers.
Fast fingers.
Funk wants me to know I'm not vaxxed by Santa,
but Santa says he's going to hook me up for Christmas.
So I'm good.
Bob Flacco 13 says Terminator vs. Transformers crossover
starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Caitlyn Jenner.
I just want to hear Omar say, I'm the captain now.
That's from Burbs 59.
He said he wants to hear Ilan Omer say, I'm the captain now.
I'm the captain now.
Oh, that's a good one.
So,
JR15, I asked for
blue cheese on my Uncle Paulie sandwich
and they kicked me out because they don't
support anything blue.
Democrats!
I really want to move on
from
this trans stuff,
but it continues to dominate
the headlines
completely.
Margaret Atwood,
who wrote Handmaid's Tale, I believe. You know who she is, right?
You're a fucking egghead reader. Right? And she wrote a bunch of other stuff, poet. I mean,
she's 84. I think she's Canadian because she lives in Canada so the only people who live in Canada are Canadians nobody moves to Canada that's another reason why they can really criticize us on immigration
because nobody leaves Mexico or Honduras and goes you know what I want to go live in a fucking
icicle for nine months out of the year so if you're in Canada it means you're from Canada
and you're just there because, you know,
we don't let you in unless you have some sort of exceptional talent
like Martin Short.
And so you end up just staying in Canada.
So it's very easy for you to go,
why, hey, what's the problem, eh?
Why are you so harsh at the border, eh?
Hey, maybe it's because everyone's trying to get into this party
and nobody wants to go to your lame-ass Trudeau-led party.
Okay?
Our party's kicking
lounge life hits
and rap
and people are twerking.
Your party is just like people
holding cosmopolitans and saying,
hey, nobody wants to go to your party, Canada.
So I assume she's Canadian
because I know she lives in Canada,
like all Canadians.
And she got in fucking hot water
for tweeting an article
that she shared,
not written by her,
written by somebody else.
The title was,
Why Can't We Say Woman?
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. Hold on. Let me see the tweet. We say woman. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Hold on.
Let me see the tweet.
Why can't we say woman anymore?
Question mark.
If it milk, if milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard, why can't we say woman in your tweet is going to bring all the trans activists to your mentions.
And that's exactly what happened and margaret atwood joins dave chappelle and jk rowlings as america's access of evil. The three North American fascist Nazis
who have traditionally been ultra liberal,
one of which is a Muslim black man.
The other two are regarded as two of the
most champion feminists you can imagine when i went to her twitter
mentions because going to twitter mentions is just a fun thing when you go to see the ratio
and um the people who were dragging her drag her girl we're all saying used to be such a fan uh one of my idols sad to see one of my idols promote turf dog whistles
um this will lead to trans death i don't know how we've gotten to the point where asking the
question is it okay to still say woman leads to the murder of a trans youth.
But that's exactly what will happen to you if you ask the question, why can't we say women anymore?
Do you understand the world we're living in right now?
If I call a woman a woman, I can go to jail pretty soon and look don't get me wrong I don't really care about this this
is really a woman's fight and I would like to see it I want to see trans women versus women. Now, the advantage that trans women may have
in an open field, hand-to-hand combat war,
MMA Russian style, where they do groups.
There's this Russian sport where there's just groups
of MMA fighters on two teams,
and they just fight each other.
I want to see that with the TERFs versus the women.
Okay, now here's the deal. The trans women may have a little
advantage according to real TERFs. I'm talking about anti-trans people, quote-unquote, allegedly,
who claim that they have an advantage in sports because of greater bone density, okay? So you may
have a few bigger girls on that side.
There may be a few bigger girls.
There may be a few handsomer women on that side
who could maybe take two or three people with wombs.
The women may be able to take a few people with wombs.
I'm gonna try to do this very politically correct.
So there will be women on one side, on the other side, and we'll throw in their allies too, because those allies don't lift
weights. So throw them in there anyway. So it's the women and all their allies versus people with wombs who obviously don't have that bone density advantage, but they do have the numbers advantage, which is very wild that so many of them on that side are in opposition to what the women are saying.
But these people of wombs, they can't get unified.
They're not even unified on whether Erica knew
her husband was stealing all that money on Real Housewives,
let alone unified on, hey, maybe we should tell
these trans activists to go fuck themselves
because I gave birth and stitch up my pussy.
And if I want to call myself a woman, I'm gonna.
Because unless you can push something the size of a fucking watermelon
outside of something the size of my tight little kiwi pussy,
you ain't a woman, sister.
You're a trans woman.
That's fine.
I'll call you she.
I'll call you whatever the fuck you want.
But I fucking pushed something out
and I had to get my fucking pussy sewn up.
But they can't come together and say that because they're people with wombs and people with wombs have as you know smaller brains
they have smaller brains and they don't know how to unify
okay all they know how to do is throw pussies on their hats and hit the streets.
But on that side, we'll have, we'll also include, so there's going to be a lot of them. What are
they? 52% of the population. So, but you know, 52 of them won't come out. So let's say about 15%.
It'll be like a WNBA game. It'll only be like,
it'll be like a WNBA championship parade.
They'll just be people walking to work
and a few young girls,
a few young girls,
a few young girls
who love Ellen,
if you know what I mean,
who aspire to be
on the Los Angeles Sparks
or whatever the WNBA team names are.
I don't know, the Liberty.
So there won't be a lot of show from the peoples with wombs.
So we'll have to reinforce them with the lesbians
because the lesbians will show.
Lesbians got each other's backs and they carry baseball bats.
Remember, they are the marines of gentrification.
They go into the toughest neighborhoods first,
buy cheap property, and open a lesbo bar.
It's the first thing they do and they start a softball game.
And those bitches are not to be fucked with, okay?
They're the first in, the lesbians.
They're in.
They come in there with their goddamn sweaters
and they drink beers they roll up their sleeves and they play kickball
now the lesbians and the trans activists are at odds because as I said this BBC article, which is also being called a national tragedy, is lesbians who are talking openly about the pressure they are feeling from their friends and trans people to hook up with trans women.
And if they don't hook up with trans women, they're TERFs.
Or here's another one I like. They are genital fetishists. And that's a pejorative,
meaning if you were a genital fetishist, you are also a TERF, meaning that if a woman has a penis
and you don't want to hook up with her, that means that you're discriminating against trans people.
I am not making this up.
You cannot demonetize me for telling exactly what's in the article.
Now, you want to know my personal opinion?
If I was a woman and I met a woman out and I didn't know she had a piece,
even if I'm a man, I'm still going through with it.
Okay? I'm getting down, I'm still going through with it. Okay?
I'm getting down to the nitty gritty.
When I get to the middle of the Tootsie Pop,
I'm going, okay,
I guess we're doing something different tonight.
Looks like you got a horn, madam.
No biggie.
I am not a genital fetishist.
If a woman is hot, she's hot.
Okay?
Obviously, I prefer to calamari.
But if we're dealing with a hot chick and I get down to the middle of the tootsie pop and she's got a little bit of a horniness antenna big deal
we just do it doggy style and I just pretend like my dick was so big I broke through to the other side
use your imagination my personal opinion I don't have a problem. But some people aren't
attracted to penises, whether they're on women or men. Sexuality is a spectrum, go figure.
And isn't it so ironic that trans activists are discriminating against lesbians for having a particular sexual preference.
Isn't that ironic that they're bullying them for not wanting to be lesbians with trans women?
Saying that's not normal and you're bad.
Isn't that fucking hypocritical?
Oh, God.
You know, I want to say that I'm brilliant,
but you don't have to be brilliant
to make these points in these.
That's why there's so many successful
internet pundits right now,
because if this wasn't such a crazy era they would just be
teaching class in whatever dumb university they were teaching in but now all you got to do is go
on the internet and say something semi-rational and reasonable and something that is just we all
believe but we're scared to say and everyone turns you into a thought leader just ordinary professors from classrooms in the universities
you've never heard of not even fucking Harvard or Yale any of that shit some fucking college
in the middle of Maine you know they get canceled and then all of a sudden they
show up on some fucking mega podcast and say you know what
I think there's a difference between trans women and
women. I have a hunch. And then people are going like, wow, this person is a member of the dark,
dark web. And they're a thought leader. I just said something that this is hypocritical,
that lesbians are discriminating against, I mean, TERFs are, I'm sorry,
trans people are discriminating against lesbians for their sexual preference.
And it even felt like an amazing point to me.
I was like, oh my God, am I that smart?
And then I realized, oh God, no.
It's just, I'm still semi-sane,
which is a bad sign.
That's a bad sign, bubba lubbas. That is a bad sign. That's a bad sign, Baba Labas. That is a bad sign. When Yanni can say he
feels semi-sane with an argument. Go read the article for yourself, BBC. Did you pull it out?
Yeah, what's the title? Go read it for yourself so you know I'm not being a turf.
We're being pressured into sex by some trans women.
By Carolyn Lowbridge.
The BBC.
This isn't fucking Newsmax.org.
This is the BBC.
And you read it for yourself.
Can you scroll down?
Because there's some good parts of it.
I've had someone saying they would rather kill me than Hitler.
Says 24-year-old lesbian Jenny. They said they would strangle me with a belt if they were in a room with me than Hitler, says 24-year-old lesbian Jenny.
They said they would strangle me with a belt
if they were in a room with me and Hitler.
This was so bizarrely violent
just because I won't have sex with trans women,
you bitch.
Jenny is a lesbian woman.
She's only attracted to women
who are biologically female.
Turf.
She therefore only has sex and relationships with women who are biologically female. Turf. She therefore only has sex and relationships with women who are biologically female.
Well, you can choose to do that or you can be murdered in a hotel room.
She doesn't think this should be controversial, but not everyone agrees.
She's been described as transphobic, my favorite, a genital fetishist, a pervert, and of course, a TERF,
a trans-exclusionary radical feminist.
A trans-exclusionary radical feminist.
So join the club, Jenny.
You now stand with J.K. Rawlings, Margaret Atwood,
and other very progressive liberal women.
Oh.
So I don't know.
I don't want to keep talking about this, but it's kind of like a layup.
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Exercise this thing.
Fulfill the potential of it.
So this is a great modern way to learn language.
Babbel, B-A-B-B-E-L.
Right now, when you purchase a three-month Babbel subscription, you'll get an additional three months for free.
You get half off, my friends.
That's six months for the price of three.
So just go to babbel, B-A-B-B-E-L.com and use the promo code LONGDAYS. All one word. That's babbel.com, code LONGDAYS. Language for life. Can you guys hear me or no? No, they probably can't hear me. So I'll restart it because what happens is when I get a phone call,
it interrupts my live chat.
And now my phone is frozen.
So please don't call me for anything, bill collectors or my bank.
My bank called me and they asked,
they want me to invest money in other accounts
because I just have money sitting in my savings. And I said, they said, they want me to invest money in other accounts because
I just have money sitting in my savings.
And I said, they said, are you planning on doing another investment?
Like, why are you holding all this money?
And I said, I said, quite frankly, I said, you want to know why I'm holding all this
money?
Because there's about to be an economic collapse, a civil war, and I just want to have some
cash on my hands so I can buy guns if I need
to. I mean, what do you want me to do right now? Is this the time for me to buy anything? We're
about to break up as a country. I want to have a couple dollars on hands to maybe be able to barter
that paper for a slice of pizza, maybe because I don't fully trust Bitcoin to be the currency of
the apocalypse yet because it lives in
the fucking internet.
So maybe I'm going to stick with the fucking monetary system we've been using since the
private bank that is the Federal Reserve started making us all slaves.
Is that fine?
I have a bunch of debt notices that I can use for food and guns.
I'm going to hold on to that and put my investments off
until I can see that maybe women can say that they're women.
So I'm sorry, member of my own bank,
who I won't use your name,
but there's a reason why I always reject your calls.
And when you called me today,
I thought you were someone else.
And I picked up and I was like, damn it.
And I don't appreciate the small talk at the beginning.
How's your family?
How's your baby?
You don't care.
You don't care.
All right?
You want to move my money into accounts
in which I could lose money.
I don't like being in the market.
Okay?
I am a paranoid Greek who, if I could,
would put the money in my ass like a drug mule so nobody can touch it and nobody can find it.
I'll stuff it in a condom and fill every one of my orifices with stone cold cash that the government can't trace.
Because I'm a Greek.
And as you can tell by the trajectory of the Greek economy the past couple of years, we don't love paying taxes.
But if we don't get the benefits we're supposed to get
from those paid taxes, we will riot in the streets
and spray paint them.
And blame the Germans and the Jews.
Look, if you don't, the Jews, it's like the fundamentals of hate.
Like, you know, when you become a basketball player, they it's like the fundamentals of hate like you know when you
become a basketball player they say get the fundamentals down learn how to dribble learn
how to pass can you throw a double-handed back pass like if you're going to become a stupid
hateful person the fundamentals rule number one it's just a bounce but hating the jews is a bounce
pass if you can't hate the jews properly you're not allowed in my hate group. That is 101. Get the fundamentals down. Always the
Jews. Always.
Number one.
Okay.
Jesse, can we
move on from the transfer? You're forcing me to do
all this. This is all Jesse's
idea for me to spend the first 15 minutes
continuing. This is three episodes in a row.
I'm going to release one more and call
it the closer
this is my four part
trans rant comedy
special and at
the end I will refer to myself as the
goat
and then I will
disparage Nanette
who I never remember her real name,
Hannah Gatsby.
Leave that poor Australian lesbian alone, okay?
Jesus Christ.
She's got the body of a substitute history teacher.
Leave her alone.
Cockknocker says Schindler's laws of equity
okay let's let's let's roll the dice one more i see i just read i don't read it i don't proof
read it i just read what i see i just see a long one here so i'm expecting maybe a potential
demonetizer jim bort, certain animals literally choose their sex
and then through, I don't know,
the power of intention,
some kind of magical physical transformation
happens in the wild.
That was a waste of your time.
I'm sorry I time raped you.
From now on, I will only be reading.
Whenever that happens,
you all go in the penalty box.
You all suffer.
Okay, that's the way fucking despots do it.
One of you fuck up like that,
now I'm only reading Jay Harvin comments
for the rest of the fucking episode.
But while this is all happening,
while this
BBC article came out,
while Margaret Atwood
got put on the
trans SS
person of interest list.
The State Department has amended passports to add a ex-gender option on the passport,
passport, which, mark my words, by the end of this year will be controversial because it only lists one extra gender. So mark my words. You heard it here first on Long Days. Before you know it,
it may even only take a couple months. This will become problematic because it only offers one extra option
besides M or F.
X, people are gonna be writing articles going,
I feel dehumanized by my gender being referred to as X
when my gender is actually Zuby.
So I need the zoobie option.
I need the doobie option.
Jay Harbin, 15.
Giannis is going to talk about trans
and becoming one of them.
He's going to be the Kevin Durant of trans.
This is a fun one from Jay Sunset.
Oh, she just said,
Greek economics are in the penalty box.
I like that.
It's an upcharge for the normal passport.
So Z gender has been added.
So I know that they did that
to try to maybe alleviate some of the controversy,
but it's not gonna do it
z is not good enough what does z mean z oh it's x do you know you're pretty sure i don't have a
brain tumor that i i can clearly see it's an x but i've been seeing z and the last episode i said
admirable for admiral like the whole episode i I also called Britannica.
I also called that AstraZeneca
for half of the episode.
So when you come here,
not only do you not get real
news here, you don't even get real
words.
So Enos
Kanter, this story is crazy.
Enos Kanter is a Turkish basketball player
so right away
I don't like him
he's a good
basketball player he's been around for a while
now the thing about
Enos Kanter is
there's a dictator in
Turkey
Erdogan or whatever how you pronounce it
Erdogan
Erdogan or or whatever how you pronounce it, Erdogan, or Erdogan,
or however you pronounce it, the dictator in Turkey.
And there's a warrant for Enos Kanter's arrest, so he can't go home ever again.
And that's because he's very outspoken and critical of the dictator.
very outspoken and critical of the dictator.
And dare I say, Enos Kanter has some nuts on him, man.
He's got some big Turkish balls.
So the past couple of days,
he's just been going Yanni long days on his Twitter.
I mean, I would love to stand next to Enos Cantor, just like the same way a pretty girl
gets ugly friends for pictures,
just to emphasize how beautiful she is.
Because if I stand next to him
and I put my Twitter next to his Twitter,
his Twitter, they're gonna call him Enos Long Days
and me, Yanni Hilarity.
Because this kid has been going long,
criticizing Nike, criticizing China a few times, criticizing them for their treatment
of the Uyghur Muslims, criticizing them for slave labor. Here is the latest, and these are the
sneakers I believe he wore on the court. They have blood splattered on them. They say hypocrite Nike modern day slave. And there is a paint red
paint in effigy to represent blood splattered all over them. And his tweet, let's see exactly what
his tweet is to the owner of Nike, Phil Knight, you know, Phil Knight's just waking up in Portland
with his security guards behind his security wall
while pink-haired anarchists are just blowing shit up and taking over city blocks outside.
And the police aren't showing up.
And murder's running rampant.
And Batman is nowhere to be seen.
But inside his little Nike compound, he's enjoying a really high-class French cup of coffee and a baguette,
maybe a croissant.
And he opens his paper, and he sees sees to the owner of nike phil knight and he's going ah fuck can't we just continue to rake in
trillion dollars of profits and use these athletes as mouthpieces with a non-disclaimer in their
contract that says if you criticize china, you will be executed on a
Portland block by a band of Antifa, and the law won't fine you because they've been defunded.
And that's a clause in the contract. Can't we just continue this beautiful little system where we
send the orders to China? China takes their little cut, which the government steals to continue to invest in their infrastructure
to make them a superpower
while the people temporarily starve to death
with a tube in their asshole,
feeding them protein or whatever
lowest level of sustenance they need
to eke out these fucking LeBron James sneakers.
Can't we just continue this beautiful system? Phil Knight's
thinking not while Enos Cantor's around apparently. To the owner of Nike, Phil Knight, how about I
book a plane ticket for us and let's fly to China together. He said, fly to China together because
he's not allowed to fly to Turkey. We can try to visit these capital slave labor camps and you can see it with your own eyes.
And then he tagged Michael Jordan and the great social justice warrior, LeBron James. And he goes,
you guys are welcome to come to. Now, when it comes to Michael Jordan,
there's nothing, there's no hypocrisy to prove. Michael Jordan will just respond,
there's nothing, there's no hypocrisy to prove.
Michael Jordan will just respond,
hey, I'm an asshole.
I've always been an asshole.
I don't care about anything except my profits.
I don't know if you remember the famous quote or infamous quote, depending on who you ask,
that Republicans buy sneakers too.
Go fuck yourself.
I'm Michael Jordan.
I'm above the law.
I don't know if you watched a little documentary
called The Last Dance,
but not even my teammates like me. But then there's King James, who's very outspoken.
But when it comes to China and the Houston general manager said something and slipped,
King James said, hey, man, we all make mistakes. We all make mistakes. You know, the guy made a mistake.
So he's calling out, obviously,
these two giant icons of American sports to say, hey, why don't you join me
in bringing attention to this issue?
And then keep rolling down
because it gets even better.
He calls out, let's just call him Tsar Z, okay?
And that's what he is.
And the Chinese Communist Party in another tweet.
And he says, someone has to teach you a lesson.
Okay, this is like going to John Gotti's face, okay?
Because you know, King Z's waking up.
He's eating his breakfast,
which is a steamed Uyghur Muslim boy
with a side of poodle liver and a nice Chinese tea.
And the poodle is a dumpling. It's in a dumpling. And he just wants to have a nice breakfast and
drink his Chinese coffee. And he's opening it up and saying, who is this guy talking shit?
Can I just continue to pay these workers
fucking a sandwich and a ruble or whatever, a yen,
and have them make these Nike sneakers?
So the company that makes them, the Chinese company,
which is just a proxy of our government
like the rest of the companies,
tick tock,
stop lying.
We'll get to that.
Um,
and then they can just shovel all those profits to us to redistribute them
accordingly to our military budget.
And maybe our laboratories that manipulate biological weapons and supersonic
missiles.
Where do you think that money came from?
You don't think part of that money
that funded that supersonic missile
that caught American intelligence by surprise,
you don't think part of that money
came from Nike's business?
Then you got a little thing coming.
You got another thing coming.
That's all he wants is to drink his coffee
and keep things as they are.
The status quo of the CCP.
But Enos Cantor says,
someone has to teach you a lesson.
That's like going to John Gotti and saying,
you got a problem with me?
He goes, I will never apologize for speaking the truth.
You cannot buy me.
You cannot scare me.
You cannot silence me. You cannot scare me. You cannot silence me.
Bring it on.
This kind of feels like Conor McGregor shit talking before the Khabib fight.
I think you're about to get your ass kicked, Enos Kanter.
And then he has sneakers showing free China.
showing free china and uh then there's a picture of him squeezing the head of some chinese bear in effigy as a cartoon oh you're not allowed to call king z winnie the pooh so he doesn't have a
sense of humor go figure go figure he doesn't like get called winnie the Pooh. So he doesn't have a sense of humor. Go figure. Go figure.
He doesn't like get called Winnie the Pooh
like James Matter didn't like Hey Bert.
So it's a picture of Enos Cantor
squeezing a Winnie the Pooh head,
which is the effigy of King Z.
King, yeah.
Supreme leader. Jay. King, yeah. Supreme leader.
Jay Harmon, 15.
The only basketball player that the Chinese acknowledge
is Steph Marbury,
and that's because the guy's head looks like the bubbles in bubble tea.
Steph Curry almost,
Steph Marbury,
Stephon Marbury,
almost looks Chinese
in his phenotype
when you see him
I bet you that has something to do
with the reason they accepted him
because let me tell you something
about Chinese culture
they are
fucking racist
very racist
Google it or
get smarter
get smarter
racism ain't just for Americans
Chinese society
is extremely racist
so Enos Cantor
is really
speaking up
so now Celtics games
are not televised
the first game
I think it was opening night when the Celtics played,
it was pulled off the air in China after he tweeted this.
So you know the NBA is going, okay,
how do I get Dr. Fauci on the phone?
And how can he help me get one of these game of function
new viruses that they're working on into Enos Kanter's soup so his lungs explode and he dies
what seems like a very natural death the balls on this kid he's got big fucking balls this is like the one thing you cannot say in Hollywood or
particularly in the NBA the NBA is massive in China and so is Hollywood massive in China they
make a lot of money selling stuff and getting their stuff made in China or financed via China
so that's why you never hear anyone criticizing China and getting their stuff made in China or financed via China.
So that's why you never hear anyone criticizing China.
But Enos Kanter just took it to Twitter.
And now Enos Kanter just worked his way up the list of King Z's hit list.
I think it goes like Taiwan, number one.
Enos Kanter, number two.
Hong Kong, number three.
United States, number four.
Capitalism, number five.
That's his starting five of what he's going to destroy.
number five. That's his starting five of what he's going to destroy.
So congratulations
to Enos Kanter
for making the playoffs
of who
King Z hates. Supreme
Leader Z hates. You are
now in the playoffs.
You've moved up the list.
The ball's
on that Turkish kid.
They are going to have Yao Ming at the airport
snatching Turks like rebounds.
Jay Harvin 15,
I wonder if there would be a Me Too movement in China
if they would let their women talk.
Yanni, I get a third round of Moderna
if you let me open for you
and I ain't talking about a comedy show, Bubba.
Arc 707 says,
Enos found the only lane where he can comfortably make money
without playing defense.
Welcome to America, home of the grift.
Zach to the wall says, Michaelordan's eyeballs are soaked in whiskey
they are red they're very red i think it's because of all the sticks he he smokes
all right there's a lot of trigger words that are going to get us demonetized here on youtube china
uh turfs uh women there's a lot of real controversial words
that you got to admit, you have to admit,
it's almost like the seven deadly words.
What were they?
George Carlin.
It's like if he was alive today, he'd be like,
wow, we really have come a long way
where you can say cocksucker now,
but you can't say woman.
Woman.
Woman is a bad word oh man so tiktok tiktok all these social media companies are being vetted by washington now they're all having to
are being vetted by Washington now.
They're all having to testify in front of our representatives
to find out what's going on,
what's the role you're playing in making our girls sad.
They want to know why so many female teenagers are sad.
Like I said, obviously,
the controversy is only about suicidal thoughts
and anorexia in teenage girls
because they're girls.
Boys don't have those problems
because we're not as weak as women.
I'm joking, obviously.
I don't even have to say that.
So,
TikTok was grilled and asked many times over mostly by
republicans um but i'm sure there was some bipartisan yelling at tiktok and it's united
states representative whoever that fucking guy is what's his name let's just call him phil knight or whatever um so the united states executives uh from tiktok um well i'll just say senator markey
from uh is a democrat from massachusetts he made sort of an overarching statement he said the
problem is clear big tech preys on children and teens to make more money okay that's true um the subcommittee
recently took testimony from obviously the former facebook data scientist that whistleblower
we all know about that and then senator richard blumenthal another democrat says we're hearing
the same story of harm this is for big tech a big tobacco moment it's a moment
of reckoning there will be accountability this time is different so they particularly focused
on tiktok to find out uh to they wanted to turn the argument a little bit so that's the sort of
mainstream argument like are you hurting little girls and showing them images
and making them throw up their food?
But then the Republicans got into the fray,
and they asked some more controversial questions.
They asked, are you working with the Chinese government? Do you give our children's
data to the Chinese government? Are you tied to the Chinese government? Is the Chinese company
that owns TikTok working with the Chinese government? And TikTok's head of public policy,
Michael Beckerman, said,
of course, idiot.
The Chinese government owns anything.
Don't you remember there was that Chinese billionaire
that disappeared for two weeks
and then showed up with a molested glow on his face
like he'd been abducted and probed by aliens?
What was his name?
Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves?
Ali something?
I mean, the kid was like a famous billionaire
who actually did like a town hall meeting
with Elon Musk at some point.
And then he just disappears.
Jack Ma.
Okay?
Jack Ma.
Just disappeared.
And then he shows back up and goes like,
what do you mean?
I was just in Corfu.
I was in Greece.
I was on a nude beach drinking frappes.
Even though he's got a look in his face like the aliens just were probing him.
So that's how the question was answered.
He said, what do you mean?
You guys are you guys stupid?
Of course, the Chinese government is involved in TikTok. And of course, we send all our user data to the
Chinese government. What are you stupid? That's how China works. And it was the end of the meeting.
They're like, OK, we got the answer that we came for. I kid you. My point is, why would they even
ask that question? What do they think Michael Beckerman is going to say?
Okay, because what he said is absolutely not.
Access for our data is done by our U.S. teams.
If we are to collect biometric information,
we do not collect biometric information data to identify Americans.
We would provide consent and an opportunity for consent first,
and we do not
share it with the Chinese government. TikTok's privacy policy indicates that it may share data
collected on users with a parent company, subsidiary, or other affiliates of its corporate
group. So their privacy policy says different. You know that whole long thing that nobody ever reads?
If you go to paragraph four, it says,
we will be collecting your data
and also following you around
to get samples of your saliva and DNA
so we can figure out what makes Americans tick.
I kid.
The company that owns TikTok in China
is called Dance Dance Revolution.
I kid you.
It's called Chopsticks Inc.
I'm joking.
It's called General Tso's.
I'm joking.
It's called Sweet and Sour Chicken.
No, it's called Byte Dance.
B-Y-T-E.
B-Y-T-E.
Dance.
All one word, much like long days, which is wild.
And so Ted Cruz wanted clarification from TikTok. Can you go back up?
About the company's connections to subsidiaries of ByteDance.
Because Reuters reported the Chinese Communist Party acquired a stake and a board seat in the Beijing ByteDance Tech,
which is a subsidiary of ByteDance that controls the Chinese version of TikTok called Douyin.
Can you scroll that?
So, I mean, it is a decent question considering they sit on the board, right?
That would be a question.
It's funny how the Democrats just asked, the Democrats democrats were just like are you guys making our teens sad are you guys making our teens want to throw up their
food so they can so they can look like billy eilish are you making them sad and then the
republicans are like you got to give the republicans credit here on this one they were like all right
all right fucking you know you know how teen girls can be them. Let's get to the real deal. Are you a Chinese spy?
I've asked you three times about the sister company
that is obviously another affiliate.
You've refused three times, Cruz told Beckerman.
He really put his feet to the fire.
The senator added,
that does not give this committee any confidence
that TikTok is doing anything other
than participating in Chinese
propaganda and espionage on Americans. Why would the Chinese government do that? Is it because it's
so easy and we willingly join and they can find anything they want out about us? Hmm. Hmm. I don't know.
All I do know is that this Chinese company and app
has all our teenagers dancing around for eight seconds.
So I don't know what other purpose this app would be
except for to collect our data.
If you could get our data, would you not do it?
All three executives indicated they would support federal legislation
that banned targeting underage children with advertisements.
Beckerman of TikTok said he'd be willing to take a step further
and ban advertisers from targeting children
on specific topics that are harmful.
Okay, that didn't answer the question. Are you a Chinese spy?
Snapchat's vice president of global policy, Jennifer Stout, said the company will support
independent external research. They're all playing ball. They're all playing ball.
And Washington needs to protect our children online, and they need transparency.
They need accountability.
So now Washington is finally going to regulate
what is now our generation's railroad tycoons,
these tech tycoons,
and what that means for an independent content creator like myself
is I am fucked
because it starts with regulation on not showing teens
pictures of hot chicks who are photoshopped and it ends with demonetizing my Instagram
because I made a joke with the word Hitler in it when I was making fun of Hitler
warming up for a speech in the mirror which which is hilarious, but these amoral bots just roam around
and they see words
and they demonetize you.
So if you don't go to patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays,
Yanni Longday is going to turn into
the longest night you've ever seen
because the sun's going to stop shining and the lights are going to turn into the longest night you've ever seen because the sun's going to stop shining and
the lights are going to go out because the only place eventually i'll be able to do comedy and
people like me will be able to do comedy will be on patreon before they close that down and then
it'll be my own website which will let's be honest will end end up being on Donald Trump's new social media program.
This has been long days and I don't want to,
but war makes for strange bedfellows and I may not have any other choice.
We may have to go hard right,
even though I went left because I'm dyslexic.
Guys, I will be at Magoobies in Timonium, Maryland
next week when you're watching this November 4th.
One show.
Get your tickets at
yannispapiscomedy.com right now.
Also, there's many other dates up there,
yannispapiscomedy.com.
See if your city is on the list.
See me live.
Join the Patreon,
patreon.com slash yannilongdays
for your weekly bonus episode
where we talk about more news and
we go wild about culture, society, and all that. And we do it from the bathtub. Squeaky clean,
my friends. And before I get into our small business sponsors, I just want to say that I
find censorship much more disturbing than hearing from those I disagree with. And even speech I
might find inappropriate.
This is important.
Offensive speech might offend and it might hurt,
but it serves a more important function
of indicating that we are still free.
That's the real virtue in offensive speech.
It lets you know you're allowed to say that stuff
because when you stop hearing offensive speech,
that means there's only one type of speech that's allowed.
And freedom is under threat.
Okay, hurt feelings is a small price to pay to ensure freedom prevails.
There's no other way.
This is reality.
This is not a utopia.
Nothing is free in this world, especially freedom.
So I also want to say conversely freedom without
responsibility leads to tyranny as well so those are the two sides welcome to the imperfect human
condition that requires constant checks vacillation and maintenance my friends there ain't no perfect
world stop seeking a perfect world just because you're coddled by the amenities of
modernity and expect it because you have apps that cater to your every fucking need. It's an
imperfect world, so stop throwing the baby out with the goddamn bathwater. That's your fucking
long day. Now, let's get to our small business owners, Nate Linder. You guys know about Natey.
business owners, Nate Linder. You guys know about Natey. What's Natey do? Well, he's a social media marketing guy. He's a wizard. He is the wizard of the social media marketing world.
And you can go to natelinder.com if you want some help. You want to step your social media game up.
You want to make some money. go check out Nate Linder,
natelinder.com right now. Okay, builds websites, does all that, runs advertising campaigns,
and he's starting at a hundred bucks an hour. He will do in-depth consulting services and businesses that start at a hundred bucks an hour. So natelinder.com for all those needs.
Step your social media game up. Andrew Cuomo's
secretary, that's Z-Jama Realty, Brooklyn. If you're looking for an apartment or a commercial
space, hit them up, Z-Jama Realty, zjamarealty.com. Couple screwed in Jewish kids. Same thing,
Grant Trower in South Florida, our man Grant Trower. We'll find you a spot at granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com
or hit him up 954-591-6465.
I know he's getting some wild phone calls too.
So, and at grant underscore Trower on the gram.
Then we got our boy Chris Minetti.
It has to be read in his voice.
I got a couple of complaints that I didn't do it.
So, Chris Minetti, call him 21 be read in his voice. I got a couple complaints that I didn't do it. So, Chris Minetti.
Call him.
215-750-3730.
If you want to cash a check.
Any business check, cash in the Philly, South Jersey area.
Call Chris.
So, the IRS is not involved.
215-750-3730.
Call Chris.
The Bronx Brand.
Hit him up.
Michael Hamlet Jr.
Appreciate you, sir.
TheBronxBrand.com.
Go check out all these Bronx artists and what they're doing on there.
Buy something from them.
Support the artists.
It's a revenue share for them.
And they got all types of cool shirts and paintings and all types of stuff up there.
Music, etc.
So if you want that authentic New York Bronx hip-hop shit,
go to thebronxbrand.com, promo code FUMES for 15% off
whatever you get from my fans.
Check that out.
Our boy Reese Ormond.
What are you up to, Reese?
How you doing?
Very similarly to Nate Linder, techvera.com.
Cybersecurity, cybercrime,
what is it?
Encrypt your data,
whatever you need to do,
you hit up Techvera.
They offer 24-7, 365 coverage.
Just hire Techvera
if you have some tech needs.
Techvera.com.
Very simple.
Boom.
Very affordable,
especially for my fans.
So you don't have to hire
an IT person,
just hire fucking Reese's company.
Eastside Cheesecakes has a very special announcement,
my friends, and I am hopping on it right away, okay?
But unfortunately, I gotta say this.
They are going nationwide October 31st.
That is international shipping.
Hop on that, try these cheesecakes, trust me. Nationwide, October 31st. That is international shipping.
Hop on that.
Try these cheesecakes.
Trust me.
Wait, now he says, sorry, national shipping.
Got ahead of myself.
You can't fuck with me here, Julian Gregory. So it's national shipping.
So if you're in England, you're assed out.
Okay, they're going national October 31st.
I want you to crash their website, eastsidecheesecakes.com.
Order these cheesecakes for the holidays.
Okay, but Long Days will not be honored on DoorDash yet for shipping.
So 15% off with Long Days will not be honored.
So that code will be for local pickup and delivery only.
So if you're in the Los Angeles area, you can still use long days for 15% off. They're going to work
with DoorDash and see if they can
figure something out. Okay?
I'm going to push for them to sponsor the pod.
I appreciate that. DoorDash,
hit up Alex Eldia.
And maybe we'll get paid someday.
Uncle Paulie's burned
down. Okay, not burned down, but
there was a fire and they aren't up and running yet.
Okay, I don't need a whole paragraph, Julian Gregory.
So the cheesecakes there have been on hold.
Just don't disappoint anyone who showed up for a slice and didn't get one.
Okay, so wait till Uncle Paulie collects his insurance money and gets his new spot.
And then go to Uncle Paulie's to get the cheesecake.
But right now you can get them at eastsidecheesecakes.com
and follow Eastside Cheesecakes on the gram.
I'm excited that they're going national. So get on that. Now you can get them at eastsidecheesecakes.com and follow Eastside Cheesecakes on the gram.
I'm excited that they're going national.
So get on that.
For the free, Aaron Leaf,
all things music in Hawaii,
forthefree.us.
Check it out.
Go find out about local Hawaiian bands. And if you're going to Hawaii on vacation,
all show info you can find out about for
the free dot us Rob's Mental Playground is gearing up for the holiday season my friends
Rob's Mental Playground.com go see what you want to get go visit the playground it's as simple as
that at Rob's Mental Playground.com for this entire month of November you get 50% off 20%
off prints 15% off apparel
25% off paintings
with the promo code
holiday apparel
all one word
holiday print
all one word
holiday painting
all one word
I guess he's got
three different percentages
so he needed
three different promo codes
so go visit the playground
and buy an art
from Rob's Method Playground
if you're a true fan
you will buy something from Rob's Method Playground. If you're a true fan, you will buy something from Rob's Method Playground.
Exclusiveautoshipping.com.
Go get your free quote if you're moving your car anywhere in the world.
All right, now for our newest Patreon members.
Welcome our new Patreon members.
Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days.
You are now long haulers, top level fans.
We got Princess Molly Little dash Piddles Herrera.
You have way too many last names.
You're like Rob's Mental Playgrounds promo codes.
Just pick one.
And then we got Fumes Too Weak to be Greek.
And then we got Son of Anders, Josh Hirecheck, Garrett, Alex Montez, Joseph Morales, Jordan Littlefield, Bradley Brocious, Tyler Pinnell, Raina M.
Welcome, guys.
Joe Biden's Big Dong.
Welcome.
Brad Bertha, Mason Marion, and Holy Chit Podcast.
You screwed in, kids. So welcome. Welcome, and Holy Chit Podcast. You screwed in kids.
So welcome.
Welcome.
And we'll see you next week.