Yannis Pappas Hour - It’s Fantasy
Episode Date: October 16, 2021Yanni destroys the comedy GOAT argument, explores the supply chain problem, Demi Lovato is concerned for aliens because she’s coco puffs, legos are on notice, and Yanni explains how extended youth h...as created the fantasy land child play that adults engage in now. All thanks, to you guessed it, the amenities of modernity. Finally, Yanni explains how RBG & Trump were the same and the Yale “Trap House” story which is a douse. Wasdadealis!For bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSponsors Box Of Awesome https://www.bespokepost.com/start?b=&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=brand-BOA&utm_content=bespoke-post-test1&utm_term=%23boxofawesome&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrrXal67Q8wIVvwaICR1ugwMBEAAYASAAEgKDS_D_BwEPromo code: FUMESTalk Space https://www.talkspace.comPromo code: FUMESManscaped https://www.manscaped.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpdH38K7Q8wIVl-SzCh3vTwp_EAAYAiAAEgIjb_D_BwEPromo code: FUMES The show goes out every Saturday night to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappasWebsite - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Good day everyone and by everyone I mean however you identify and whatever time you are listening
to this.
It could be yesterday, it could be tomorrow.
I don't want to discriminate against yesterday, tomorrow or the next day.
So anytime you're listening to this is just as good.
All times are equal.
All days are equal.
This has been an amazing week
for very important issues in America.
We got inflation concerns.
Delta's still killing people.
We have an impending civil war.
There's bounty on people's heads
who want abortions in Texas.
But we got to the important stuff.
A, Demi Lovato has spoken up on people's heads who want abortions in Texas. But we got to the important stuff.
A, Demi Lovato has spoken up and has had enough of aliens being called aliens.
Yale Law School and their diversity czar have come down on a Native American student who referred to, I guess, his frat house or his federal society's house meeting as a trap house.
And he said, we're going to have good American fare like fried chicken and apple pie.
So that's a big problem.
Also, Seattle school has canceled the Halloween parade because marginalized students,
I guess there's some ghosts that go to that school who are very offended.
They're remaking Home Alone and it's just with a fat British kid.
They're out of ideas.
There's also an impending strike that could happen in Hollywood
that could shut down all of the movie business.
But you know what?
As long as this Yale-schooled Native American child is disciplined at Yale by the diversity
star, I don't think we have any problems.
People are going, oh my God, is inflation going to be crazy?
Oh my God, is the supply chain from China all fucked up, et cetera?
Am I going to be able to get my kid a laptop on Christmas on time?
Who cares?
Because guess what?
I got some good news.
Superman's son is bisexual.
Very important for you to know what the superheroes are doing when they're not out there wearing tights.
Which, I don't know, I thought they were all already gay.
But I'm actually surprised to find out Superman's son was half straight, to be honest with you.
But he's gay.
Also, Legos.
Legos have decided after polling youngsters, which, you know, nobody knows life better than youngsters.
And young consumer tastes drive this country right now.
Legos has decided to go gender neutral.
I don't know if you could pick more of an inanimate object that doesn't have a
gender than Legos, but they're going gender neutral and King John Unes lost a lot of weight.
So there is hope in the world. This is long days and I don't know what the fucking deal is. We'll see you next time. Get his kids screwed in Got a lot to say Aw shit It's about to be a long day
It's a long day
It's a long day
What's up everybody?
We got all of our favorites in the live chat
As you know, comment roulette
I look down every episode and read comments
We got our favorite Jared Harvin
Jay Harvin 15 in the chat
We got Drew Films in the chat
And we got Rob Smith of Playground You can't say in the chat and we got Rob's Metal Playground.
You can't say it normally.
You just gotta go Rob's Metal Playground
is in the chat.
Patreon.com slash Yanni Long
Days for bonus episodes every
week. Also merch on my
website. YannisPappasComedy.com
Also join the YouTube
clips page guys.
Yanni Longday's clips.
Also, I will be in Timonian, Maryland,
which I guess is white Baltimore.
You know, it's outside of Baltimore somewhere.
So get your tickets for that.
Jay Harvin will be with me.
He's opening up.
So get your tickets.
That's in November 4th or 5th.
I can't go to
yannispapascomedy.com, also I'll be in Phoenix, I'll be in Uncle Vinny's, my Florida, Tampa dates
just got rescheduled for February, so a lot of the people bought tickets, those should be good,
but get your tickets for Tampa, new dates also unraveling as Yanni is going full stand-up mode again.
Watch out because Yanni's leveling up.
They're going to be calling me the GOAT soon.
Can we stop with this GOAT shit?
Chappelle's the GOAT.
He says he's the GOAT.
He said in his specialty joke he's the GOAT.
It's comedy, guys.
Okay?
It's not basketball.
There's not a score at the end. It's an art form. It's
this American disease that we have that the Europeans make fun of. And I don't even, I just,
I can't even believe Europe is free. I just found out because I heard, I heard Joe Rogan's speech
about how America is the only free country ever to exist. And then I was told that Europe also has freedom. So does Australia.
So did Taiwan.
They used to have freedom.
It's this thing we have in America where we got to rank everything.
We got to put everything in a rank.
Even those lists we used to make at number one.
It's a fucking art.
That's like saying who's the best artist
and people go Dolly's the goat, Dolly's the goat.
Even in rap, it's like who's the goat? It's like who who's the best artist. People go, Dolly's the GOAT. Dolly's the GOAT. Even in rap, it's like, who's the GOAT? It's like, who do you like, guy? Okay? There's a GOAT in
basketball because there's a score and you can count how many championships you win because
they're playing a zero-sum game. Okay? You know what a zero-sum game is? Fucking get smarter.
Fucking get smarter.
Comedy's not a zero-sum game.
It's not Dave Chappelle versus Pete Holmes.
Although Dave Chappelle
would crush him.
Obviously, we kind of know
the score because of the audience
and also the level of difficulty.
Comedians know how great
Dave Chappelle is
because of the level of difficulty.
We know the tricks.
We know who the hacks are.
We know who aren't the hacks.
But that doesn't mean that hacks aren't hilarious because they are we know who aren't the hacks but that doesn't mean
that hacks aren't hilarious
because they are
that's what makes them hacks
and it also doesn't mean
that that's the
objective goat
that they're God's
favorite comedian
because God's favorite
comedian
is
Nanette
he likes a woman
who fucking
can
fucking be a boss
bitch
God and Jesus love SNL they may be the only two people who fucking can fucking be a boss bitch.
God and Jesus love SNL.
They may be the only two people still watching it.
Their premiere episode really tanked,
so they had to bring in the comedy heavy guns,
Kim Kardashian, or one of the Kardashians.
I don't fucking know who Demi Lovato is.
I don't know.
I wish there was more sane people on this planet who didn't know who Demi Lovato is
and I wish there was a lot of people
who didn't know which Kardashian was which
because I don't know.
They're all Caitlyn and me
because I'm paying attention to my family
and my friends and sports.
Something that's real.
Maybe the only real thing left.
Sports.
And who knows how real that's going to be
because now betting owns everything.
So now fucking guys are going to be betting through proxies
and throwing games.
The Black Sox are back.
Most people don't even know the scandal of the Black Sox or CCNY,
but especially the Black Sox
because nobody likes baseball anymore.
Baseball, you better do something.
There needs to be a blind guy with a gun on the sidelines
just shooting at players,
or there's got to be a way
that you have to force guys to run.
We can no longer have out-of-shape dudes
just sitting up there with a stick,
and it takes 15 minutes for them
to get off the field, okay?
It's boring, okay?
Kids are watching six-second TikTok videos,
and you expect me to sit down for a four-hour game?
Change with the times.
We need a shot clock, okay?
The team that loses needs to be sent to a Chinese factory
to replace some of these workers who are being quarantined with COVID
because it's fucking up our supply chain.
And if there's one thing America needs,
it's Christmas, goddammit.
So don't let these goddamned Chinese steal Christmas.
Hollywood's out of ideas.
They're redoing, they are redoing Home Alone
with a fat British kid.
It's the same exact movie they're
out of ideas so here's an idea for you let's remake the grinch except the grinch is chinese
factory owners who are shutting down and stopping toy car and laptop and furniture production
because they're trying to contain COVID. Fuck you.
Okay?
You work through worse conditions.
Your government doesn't even allow you to get a lunch break.
You have a tube inserted in your asshole that injects sushi into your body to keep you making
iPhones and something as small as a manipulated pantheon made in a laboratory by some fucking unscrupulous scientist who leaked it.
That's my theory.
It's going to stop you from making our toys.
Bullshit.
That FAO Schwartz better be fucking packed, baby.
If I can't get my daughter a goddamn Cocomelon doll,
then I'm going to go around and I I am gonna spray paint on Chinese restaurants.
Damn, now I've been
demonetized for hate speech.
I'm joking, I'm a comedian.
Can you put that on my channel, please?
Stop demonetizing my shit.
I've already proved
that it was a joke
Instagram about the Catholic
Church. He demonetized my Instagram
for saying that the Catholic Church was set up
to rape children. And then three weeks
later, you guys
raped a lot of children.
But God forbid
an unstable
comedian
launches a tirade from his former
apartment, which you can't believe he lived in
because it's so small,
in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.
Shout out to the couple of people who recognize me today in Bay Ridge.
Don't talk to me, okay?
I'm trying to eat a fucking no-no slice on the top of my car.
I don't want to talk to you, all right?
I had a good goddamn vodka slice and a nice no nose grandma
and a zucchini
leave me alone
Gary Foss says
he's listening on
full blast
in a pizzeria
that's the way
you do long days
baby
that's the way
you do y'all
long days
Luma Limon says
Pete Holmes being
the bad guy
in the new
Home Alone
is actually worse
than the new
Bi Superman
see everyone's got an opinion some people, Pete Holmes being the bad guy in the new Home Alone is actually worse than the new Bi-Superman.
See, everyone's got an opinion.
Some people think Pete Holmes is the GOAT, the greatest comedian of all time.
jharvin15, Instagram is taking money away from Giannis to balance out all the money that Greek contractors stole from new homeowners.
Ding, ding, ding.
See, I like jharvin because the kid's smart he's wise and he's also
like he knows shit exactly right if you uh so what happened is we started the project
and then now we see we'll have a situation here we uh we didn't know that you have termites. I have termites? This is a steel frame
building. Yeah, what happened is there's a new type of termite that the Turks invented. The Turks
started like the Chinese invented this coronavirus with the gain of function in the laboratory.
Oh, you're not reading George Bush's family diary. Yeah, well also the Turkish made the new termites that's chewing steel
Like the jet fuel melting the steel in the World Trade Center
They said jet fuel don't melt steel, but the Chinese-Turkish
German fire that they created melting the steel with the Jews
With the Jews' fire.
From hell.
Because the Jews killed Jesus.
So we see the termites.
So now in order to finish the contract,
you're going to have to give me my money.
Leave my money here.
Going to cost you...
What do you want to pay?
How much do you have?
Very nice.
Let's talk money here.
How much you give me for material?
Cash.
You have cash?
I like cash.
Listen, you give me the cash.
I have cash here on Zidane.
He will give you free cheeseburger.
Greeks know how to party.
Yeah, Greek contractors, they're like Greek cab drivers.
When you get into a Greek cab in Greece, first they ask you where you're from, okay?
And if you're Greek, they give you a break and they'll only rip you off
about five ten percent if you say hi i'm from sweden they go oh look sweden have a brother there
he has a restaurant where are you going athens oh we got we have to go through uh is, then we take you over a boat to Italy, yeah, it's traffic.
Going to be 15,000 euros.
What's the problem?
We have EU Germans for it.
Blame the Germans.
I have no idea who Tammy Lovato is.
Okay, I just called her Tammy Lovato.
But Tammy Lovato is taking a stand,
as you know, because, you know,
journalists, it's headlines everywhere. I think even Neil deGrasse Tyson reached out to respond
to her. Because, you know, if there's a comment that warrants a response from one of our most
famous homegrown astrophysicists, who I take a lot of pride in because he's from the Bronx,
astrophysicists who I take a lot of pride in because he's from the Bronx. He's a cute kid who used to wrestle and he's like Jay Harvin 15. He's half black and half Puerto Rican.
Did you know that? Okay. He's a New York's own astrophysicist found time in his fucking day
to respond to Demi Lovato. Neil deGrasse Tyson states, Demi Lovato's space
aliens have no
feelings, so don't worry about offending
them. Okay, so at least the guy made a joke.
At least the guy made a joke.
But here's the thing, Neil. I need you
your egghead in a
fucking lab trying to find those
aliens or trying to figure out how to shoot
asteroids off of their fucking
what is it
called?
Their course, their trajectory, whatever it's called, whatever the eggheads call it.
There's a name for it.
We don't need you on Twitter.
Can Neil deGrasse Twiter, Neil deGrasse Twiter, can you get off Twitter?
You're a hero to New Yorkers.
You're a hero to your community, son.
Okay?
You're a fucking astrophysicist egghead i don't need you
responding to some mentally ill chick who i have no idea who she is who the fuck is demi lovato
is she is she one of the wilson sisters
was she was she in the dixie chicks i don't know who she is dog all i know is i saw a picture of
her i thought she was rain wilson and he's a male actor because i thought he was one of the Dixie Chicks? I don't know who she is, dog. All I know is I saw a picture of her and I thought she was Rainn Wilson.
And he's a male actor
because I thought he was one of the Dixie Chicks.
There's too many people to memorize.
I want to go back to days
when it was George Clooney and Will Smith.
And that's it.
And Matt Damon.
And everyone who thought of the two,
everyone thought it was going to be Ben Affleck who was going to be
the big movie star. But Ben Affleck
got distracted by too much
puss, puss.
He did
Gigli with J-Lo. Was J-Lo
and Gigli? Yeah.
You do a movie with J-Lo, bubba.
While fucking Matt Damon
was doing the Bourne,
the identity joints.
He was doing real movies.
Ben Affleck was dancing around in a leather coat on Staten Island filming with J-Lo.
Mesmerized by that sweet
Too many celebrities.
Demi Lovato,
as you know,
especially when you're watching this,
I don't want to discriminate on the day you're watching, whatever it is.
She has stated that aliens is a derogatory,
is a pejorative, is a derogatory name for aliens.
JayHarvard15 says,
Aliots.
JayHarvard15 says,
Aflac was going to be a movie star until he discovered what Saison is.
Mark Palmieri wants to know,
I wonder how Corey from That's So Raven is doing.
Me too.
Me too.
I'm surprised That's So Raven didn't win more Emmys
what happened to the WB
Demi Lovato
okay
her haircut looks like my accountant's
I mean she looks like
I mean she looks like she just
cut her own hair
while she's going mama's pretty
mama's pretty
it looks like she cut her hair with a knife.
Look at those bangs.
Okay, so Demi Lovato's lost her fucking mind.
Okay, I got a friend for you.
Her name is Britney Spears.
I want to see a new reality show
the way Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie did it,
except it's Demi Lovato and Britney Spears,
and they are trying to start a company together.
And just roll cameras.
Don't even give them anything.
Just call it Demi and Britney,
and that's what it's called,
and just let them go.
Let it happen.
She'll be fucking stabbing windows with umbrellas.
Demi Lovato will be saying,
don't throw darts at the dartboard
because the dartboard has feelings.
How would you like it if someone was throwing dartboards at you?
And you're like, you're right, I'm sorry.
I wasn't thinking of the dartboard's feelings, Demi Lovato.
So what happened?
It's derogatory towards extra.
Can we just watch what she says?
Is it in this video?
Because I've never heard it.
Bill Brewer Baggins 415 has a great suggestion
he says take Demi Lovato
and Britney Spears
and put them on the deadliest catch
Jeff Bezos
can you take Demi Lovato
and Britney Spears to space
and let them out
say this is your stop.
And she'll go,
I'm going to be with the extraterrestrial.
And she loses oxygen.
Let's see what Demi,
J-Harm 15,
throw Demi and Britney
into a room with each other
and whoever shaves their head first loses.
Yas. Yas.
Yas.
Let's hear it.
I think very personal with you.
Over the past year and a half,
I've been doing some healing and self-reflective work.
And through this work,
I've had the revelation that I identify as non-binary.
With that said,
I'll officially be changing my pronouns to they, them.
I feel that this best represents the fluidity I feel in my gender expression
and allows me to feel most authentic and true.
Well, it's good to set it up.
It's good to set up that calling the aliens a derogatory term for the aliens
didn't come out of left field.
Okay?
It wasn't the first wild thing she came out as.
First, she wants you to know
that she is no longer she she's they she's non-binary she is all the genders don't be
distracted by the titties and puss puss that's just you know that's just there. But, you know, don't be distracted.
Okay, like a sociopath,
you never want to be distracted by his actions.
Just pay attention to his charismatic words.
Don't pay attention, okay?
While he's fucking robbing you blind and ruining your life,
you just go, damn, the kid has decent dick.
Talking to the gullible ladies out there
who love themselves a goddamn lying sociopath.
Okay, so Demi Lovato used to be hot
and now she looks like she ate Shania Twain.
I guess it was a print article in an interview.
Oh, so we don't get to hear her beautiful voice
going I'm Demi Lovato
I identify as they them
also we need to stop this
discrimination against
this extraterrestrial life form we don't
even know exists as a fact
please don't refer to them as aliens
it hurts their feelings they came to me
I was kidnapped by aliens
yesterday from my LA condo they took me
into their spaceship and they told me the reason that they haven't landed is because we're mean
and they don't like the term aliens so as a representative of the extraterrestrials i would
like to say as demi lovato if we can start calling them extraterrestrials they will land and teach us how to live in coachella peace
they want to make the world coachella
respect aliens feelings i get where she's coming from you're hurting their feeling neil degrasse
tyson i mean what's going on with black people these days? Now, Neil deGrasse Tyson and Chappelle are both being bummer of boomers.
You guys really don't have any respect
for marginalized communities like aliens and trans people.
Trans people have been enslaved for thousands of years
inside the body of an opposite gender.
You think chattel slavery was hard, Dave Chappelle?
Try being a woman inside a man's body before science.
You had to put on a wig and blow guys' legs in the house with a deep voice.
It was tragic.
What do you know about oppression, Dave Chappelle?
What do you know about oppression? Dave Chappelle? What do you know about oppression?
What do your people know about oppression?
Do you know how hard it was to want to suck all those dicks and I couldn't?
Do you know how fucking horrible it is to lap up a mud puddle, a puss-a-puss,
when all you want is a nice hot rod and an Italian sausage?
That's oppression dave chappelle
i love how uh i love trans people i think they're great i just think um they have been discriminated against obviously but obviously nowhere near as bad as black people. But also, trans people are kind of new.
I think the first sex change operation was like 1959 or 60.
And that didn't take long.
In only 60 years, you guys won woman of the year.
So, not bad.
There's been a lot of progress.
And also, you just can't talk about them, which is pretty good.
That means you guys have some power that you can just get guys canceled.
But yeah, people shouldn't hate trans people.
People should call them whatever pronouns they want.
If those pronouns are singular.
See, this is where you guys go too far.
Humans always go too far.
The hippies became the yippies.
You know, it just keeps going.
Civil rights turns violent.
I mean, people just don't know when to put down the sword and pick out the plow.
You won woman of the year.
You won.
It's over.
Okay?
It's already been proven by stats that straight guys are jerking off to you online secretly.
You won.
People love trans people.
And then there was the other one from Orange of the New Black.
What's her name?
Courtney Cox.
She's a big star.
Nobody cares.
Most people, almost nobody star. Nobody cares. Most people, almost nobody cares.
Nobody cares.
When they start going, okay, pump the brakes,
that's when you start going, I am multiple people.
When you start going, call me they,
you're going like, I won't do that
because I took English class and I just can't.
There's only one of yous.
So can I just call you she?
Is she good enough? No, it's not good enough. And I just can't. There's only one of yous. So can I just call you she?
Is she good enough?
No, it's not good enough.
Are Legos the most gender neutral toy good enough?
No, it's not good enough.
We need to make a press release that now Legos,
how the fuck do you even make Legos gender neutral? Is there more of a gender neutral toy
than a square plastic toy
that you can build into whatever you want?
You can take the Legos
and build a fabulous gay parade if you want it.
If you had enough Legos,
you can build them into a woman.
You can build them into a man who's now living as a woman.
You can build them into someone who's a man and woman.
You can do whatever you want because guess what?
It's fantasy.
That's fantasy.
I think this is all tied to extended youth, to be honest with you, which is a theme that
I've been talking about since my half hour on Comedy Central.
We're living in a period of extended youth
coddled by the amenities of modernity.
So people are growing up later.
Nobody's having kids.
They don't have adult responsibilities or real problems.
So they just want to continue to play.
And what do kids like to do?
They love to play fantasy.
I'll be a girl, you'll be a boy.
Couple seven-year-olds, gender rolling.
Now we're space aliens.
Now I'm rescuing your planet from some dark force.
Now we're G.I. Joes.
Now we're wrestlers.
Use your imagination.
So since everyone is still,
is effectually now a child
experiencing arrested development,
you can see the consequences of what they believe
spilling over into the real world.
We have just a bunch of children running around going,
it's playtime.
I want you to call me they, okay?
And we're saving the world from the wretched stereotypes of calling
extraterrestrials aliens and you're like that's fun that's a fun game let's play demi
let's use my imagination legos are a tool of the patriarchy that have been holding women in place and forcing these tropes and stereotypes on women to do certain things.
Let's gender neutralize Legos.
Yeah, I want to play that game.
Does Demi Lovato have a family and kids?
Can you look that up?
Because I'm going to take a guess she doesn't.
Because when you have kids, your main concern is like feeding the kids
and if your child has any single male teachers.
Because those are the only people I discriminate against.
Listen, the only people I want around my baby daughter
are women and gay guys.
Okay?
I don't want any straight men.
It's crazy that people hate gay guys. You know, gay guy, you know, one thing gay guys don't do if they're not priests, shit, the priests, but they're not gay. They're pedophiles.
There's a difference and you should know that. Um, they don't abuse kids.
they don't abuse kids that's always creepy
single guys
glasses
they always got glasses
pedophiles can never see well
okay so Demi Lovato
does she have a family
no
Demi Lovato addressed
the idea of having kids
as coming out as non-binary
yeah
as I suspected.
Jay Harbin, 15.
Gender fluid or not,
when my father steps on a Lego,
he's still going to call my mother a whore.
You get angry.
When you step on a Lego, you do curse.
If you step on a Lego
and don't yell out a hateful slur at somebody,
then you just don't have any feelings.
Or you have one of those diseases
where you can't feel pain, you know?
Yeah, try explaining to Jay Harvin's pops,
who was a cop.
If Jay Harvin came home and said he was non-binary,
his dad would throw him into the refrigerator.
Say, what the fuck are you talking about, son?
I brought you up on Long Island.
Mateo is awesome.
Of course, Mateo.
Gay people are awesome.
Trans people are awesome.
Okay?
They're awesome.
And I understand
that this activism
comes from a place
where, you know, they were ostracized, discriminated against.
I understand.
I understand.
But you do yourself no service
when you start asking people to call you they.
Then you just, you create reactionaries.
You create other extremists.
Extremes beget extremes.
It's in the Bible, or at least the Quran.
I haven't read either.
Has anyone, has anyone read the Bible?
Has anyone watched the entire Sophie's Choice movie?
God, she's a good actress.
So, it was a real big week
for important issues.
The Washington football team is
considering what their new name's gonna be.
I think it should
represent the city that they play
football in.
You know, as most teams go with the
spirit, the Indianapolis Colts,
you know, the Miami Dolphins,
they're in Miami,
San Francisco 49ers.
I think we should go with the Washington
lobby paid for senators.
How about the Washington bipartisan hacks?
How about the Washington lobbyists?
I like that.
The Washington
super PAC.
Or how about this one?
The Washington
I wait
till I'm out of office
to give million dollar speeches
to Wall Street
and write a book
where I betray everybody.
How about that one?
How about that one? How about that one?
The Washington I can't,
the Washingtons I can't write
to fuck you over.
The Washingtons I can't
wait to fuck you all over
in my book.
That's a good one.
The Washington Felibusters.
The Washington Pelosi's.
How about that one? The Washington Pelosi's. How about that one?
The Washington McConnell's.
The Washington Storm, the Capitol.
Those are good ones.
Are these some potential names?
I think these are, yeah,
they hate that they're gonna whittle it down.
Okay, they're whittling it down from the Armada?
Isn't that Spanish?
The Spanish made the Armada famous.
I don't know why they would come into play.
Cultural appropriation.
Then we got the Washington Presidents.
I mean, Jesus Christ, they really do.
What do they have, Jimmy Fallon's writing team?
For this?
I just picture Jimmy Fallon's writers room meetings
are just a bunch of kids with crayons.
He just goes to a kindergarten class
and they go,
let's smash eggs on each other's face.
And he's like,
that's great.
The Red Hogs,
the Commanders,
the Red Wolves,
the Defenders,
and the WFT.
What the fuck is that?
The Washington football team. Oh, that's the other one. If is that? The Washington football team.
Oh, that's the other one.
If they go with the Washington football team,
they just make it into an acronym.
Come on, dog.
Didn't Trump had some space program?
What was it called?
Like Star Wars or something?
Call it that.
Galaxy,
Washington, the Washington Lewinsky's. Star Wars or something. Call it that. Galaxy. Washington.
The Washington Lewinskis.
That's a good one.
The Washington Lewinskis.
The Washington Gerrymanders.
You guys got some good names?
Let's go.
Comment roulette.
What should Washington call it?
The Washington WeO China.
The Washington Trillion Dollar Debts. what should Washington call it the Washington we owe China the Washington trillion dollar debts the Washington inflation
the Washington
come on mans
the Washington Kamala's
Kamala gave us some sort of speech
where she hired like child actors
and the CCP silenced your live stream Kamala gave us some sort of speech where she hired like child actors and
the CCP silenced your live stream.
Oh, the audio's off?
Is the audio off?
God damn it.
Anyway,
have you seen this new picture of King John Un?
Kid lost a lot of weight.
Could be COVID. That's when I lost a lot of weight and I put it right back on. That's why I was chasing the Mu variant. I just wanted to
lose weight easy. We can hear you. You're going full Anne Frank right now. JRM 15. Yes, the audio
is off. I don't know what to do. Let's go and restart it
because my brother has to call every day.
So now let's just fucking restart it.
I don't want anyone listening to this podcast
who's a man or a woman
who has a full fumade bush.
I need you guys to manscape
and there's only one company to do that for you.
As you know, manscaped.
You have to manscape to mow down the fumes.
That is, I am the leader of a fumeless fan base.
And manscape helps me out.
So every single one of my fans, you got to get yourself the Performance Package 4.0.
Inside the package, you'll find their Lawn Mower 4.0 trimmer,
the Weed Whacker Ear and Nose Hair Trimmer.
Okay, very important for me.
I use it every fucking week
to trim my shit down.
You'll also get your
Crop Preserver Ball Deodorant
for those stinky earrings
that your dick wears.
And you'll get your Crop Reviver Toner,
your Performance Boxer Briefs.
They throw that in, that's nice. And a travel bag to hold all your goodies so you don't gotta crop reviver toner, your performance boxer briefs. They throw that in. That's nice.
And a travel bag to hold all your goodies.
So you don't got to go buy one off, you know, some discount rack.
They give you a nice travel bag for your toiletries.
It's amazing.
So the fourth generation trimmer, it's got cutting edge technology.
And it's also got the 400K LED spotlight.
So you can really see where you're trimming.
The weed whacker is incredible to
chop your worst weeds up top in your nose and ears. I love that thing. So mow down those fumes
with Manscaped at manscaped.com slash fumes. And that will get you 20% off and free shipping
with the code fumes. So make your balls your priority, my friends. And the top of your dick.
Shave it down.
Put a design in it.
Whatever you want.
But manscaping is a part of a man's grooming.
So manscape.com.
Promo code FUMES.
I love Talkspace because people often avoid getting help when they're going through something or
taking care of their mental health because of the stigma attached to it because of having to find a
therapist and getting recommended and talk to people about it everybody's hesitant but talk
space really cuts all that out because you do everything from the privacy of your own home. You select your therapist,
privacy of your own home. Your sessions are virtual. You do iChats, whatever they're called.
What do you call it? FaceTimes. You do FaceTimes with your therapist. And therapy is important
for everybody. And it's affordable with this, which is also another reason why people avoid
therapy. And it's important to talk to somebody.
Everyone should. My dad always said everyone should be in therapy. It's really good because
modern society comes with a lot of stress and especially what we just went through
with the pandemic and everything. You got to hit up Talkspace. Okay.
So here's what you do. Okay. You go to talkspace.com and you get a hundred percent
off your first month when you use the promo code fumes and you sign up. That's a hundred percent.
That's a hundred dollars, excuse me, off at talkspace.com with the promo code fumes. You
can send messages 24 seven. You can text with your therapist. If you want,
if you don't like your therapist and you're not vibing with them, you can switch, you can change,
you can request a new therapist. Uh, the app puts you in a private room with just you and the
therapist. It's amazing. And their encryption and added security features, keep your conversation
fully protected. So, uh, you got to check out Talkspace.com. Get $100 off your free month
with the promo code Fumes when you sign up. What an awesome company. Bespoke Post is bringing you
a new seasonal lineup of Box of Awesome. You know the deal. You've been listening to the cast. We've
had them before. This is an amazing gift for you
or for somebody you're sending a gift to especially with the holiday season coming up very
soon so no matter what you're into box of awesome has got something for you they got craft beers
cozy threads camping gear they what they do is they they they couple with emerging brands and create this like box of goodies
like diverse array of things that you can get
which are really fun
it's very fun too and interactive
you take a quiz
this is how you get started
at boxofawesome.com
and your answers will help them pick the right box of awesome for you
based on the way you answered the quiz
they release new
boxes every month across a ton of different categories. So it's really fun. And the things
you get in the box are incredible. It's free to sign up, which is good. Free is always good.
And you can skip a month or you can cancel any time. So each box costs only 45 bucks and it has $70 worth of gear in it. So that's good. I'm
no mathematician, but that works out in your favor. Each box of awesome supports a small business. So
90% of everything that comes in your box of awesome is from a small and up and coming brand.
So if you want to support small business and you want to look at their cool stuff,
go to their website and check it out.
It's very fun and a very unique gift you can get someone.
So to get 20% off your first monthly box,
just go sign up at boxofawesome.com,
enter the promo code FUMES at checkout.
That's boxofawesome.com, code fumes for 20% off your first box of awesome.
Go get it. The one I got is incredible. I love it, man. I got a little knife. I got a vest. It's
so cool. I got some craft beers that I liked that I tried that were very cool,
and I learned about some brands. So just go hit up boxofawesome.com and you'll see for yourself.
So King John Un has lost a lot of weight and people are wondering what happened. He still
has the Patrick Ewing flat top though from the 1990s. And I think it's just his diet.
I think he's intermittent fasting.
He's intermittent fasting because of his own economic system.
It's a diet called communism.
It's a diet called the system doesn't produce too much food.
He might have been the only person in North Korea who was fat. He's the only one who had access to food. He might have been the only person in North Korea who was fat. He's the only one who had
access to food. So King Jong-un, in a move to win over his people, has decided to join in the
economy that he forces on them. And he's lost a little weight due to communism. It's a great,
it's a great, you know,
I want to start a workout video and say,
hey, how you doing?
You want to lose a lot of weight?
Here's the deal.
Everyone's got to share money.
You're going to go, shit.
There you have it.
To each his own according to his need.
When you want that second gordita,
guess what?
You can't have it
because that's going to someone else.
You're not free to have two gorditas in North Korea.
We could use a little communism to slim this country down.
His diet was communism with a side of Hennessy.
He does love black culture.
Dennis Rodman.
Texas, let's get to a little bit of a lighter story.
Texas is governor,
the first disabled governor in history.
I like to call him Hot Wheels.
Hot Wheels has issued a reverse mandate to contradict the federal mandate on vaccines.
He's saying, by law, nobody can be forced to get a vaccine.
Nobody can be forced to get a vaccine.
So, obviously, most of the people who are against the vaccine are very right-wing, very Republicans.
This has become a partisan issue, obviously.
And the right-wing and conservatives hate big government
and government intervention.
I can't help but notice the irony
that he is forcing private companies
to issue a mandate.
It's almost like when you say atheist,
they're like, I don't believe God exists,
where you're like, that's a belief.
That's a belief.
Do you know for sure?
And they go, well, I can take it this far. And you're going like, that's not enough. It's a belief. Do you know for sure? And they go, well, I can take it this far. And
you're going like, that's not enough. It's a belief. Well, isn't this a mandate? Isn't this
government regulation? Isn't this government overreach? What if I'm a private company?
And I say, hey, if you want to work for me at my private company, this is what I require.
Can't do that in Texas because the government says you can't.
So this is the public sector encroaching upon the freedom of the private sector.
As the great David Foster Wallace said, and this doesn't bear any relevance,
but it's a great quote, ironies abound as ironies do when cash and art do lunch.
I'll just amend that and say ironies abound as ironies do when cash and politics do lunch.
Ironies abound as ironies do when politics
and belief
do lunch
also
Texas is just
Texas loves to
talk about how free they are
but there's one thing you're not free to do
and that is
make a choice about your own
body and what's in it.
The government there is trying to get involved as well.
Ironies abound as ironies do when reproductive rights and belief do lunch. if you get an abortion in Texas,
the Justice Department is trying to stop this,
trying to force a Supreme Court ruling on this.
We kind of know how the Supreme Court's going to rule,
thanks to RBG, which we will get to.
But not only are they making it so you can't get an abortion with this,
they're putting a bounty on your head, a $10,000 bounty.
So if anyone gives an abortion, you can sue them and you can report them.
It's like a, it almost sounds a little it sounds you almost can hear
the german coming so hello citizens of texas it's me i'm back i am the fascist tendency that
rests deep within humanity i show my colors in china also sometimes in other countries, also in America sometimes, we show our colors.
If you see someone assisting someone in abortion
or driving them to kill their own baby,
report them to the SS,
and we will start by finding them ten thousand dollars
you can't tell me hate groups are big here used to be do you think the nazis could sell out the
garden the way they did in 1930 those kids used to move tickets. Now they can't. The only people selling out the garden is Joe Rogan,
a pre-court jerking off
in front of women,
Louis C.K.,
and maybe Taylor Swift.
Okay, maybe Sebastian Menescalco.
And Nate Bargatze wants to bad.
He probably will.
But the Nazis ain't selling out the fucking garden, dog. There's not enough Nazis. Do. But the Nazis ain't
selling out the fucking
garden dog.
There's not enough Nazis.
Do you know the Nazis
sold out the garden
like the 1930s?
But so, you know,
that's just ironic
that private citizens
can report other
private citizens
and have them
sued for $10,000.
Governor Abbott.
So his vaccine mandate is no entity
and no entity in Texas can compel receipt
of a COVID-19 vaccine by an individual,
including an employer or a consumer
for any reason, personal, including an employer or a consumer.
For any reason, personal, conscious, medical reasons, whatever.
Prior recovery, whatever it is.
So, there you go.
If you have a company, you can't.
I guess you're free to fire them then, I guess.
You can fire them.
And say, hey, you know what?
Everyone in my company's got to be vaccinated. I guess you can fire them and say hey you know what everyone in my company has got to be vaccinated i guess you can fire them solution that's what we need just more people
collecting unemployment right now because nobody wants to get back to work because they got so
freaking used to collecting that government t-check which you know it shows you that the conservatives
have a point with welfare
because essentially everyone was on welfare
for the past year
and when you get that check
you don't want to rush back into the office
nobody wants to get back to work
everyone is stretching it out
once you feel that freedom
where you can hang out with your family
nobody wants to get back
especially when you're
still in unemployment you know nobody's rushing back to work so you know we have so we have a
big problem that could get worse with the supply chain with the economy with inflation with the
with increasing the debt ceiling which is just kicking the ball down the road for problems later.
Rising prices because of this clogged supply chain,
which is the result of the Delta variant in China.
They clamp down hard.
If somebody gets COVID in a factory,
they shut the factory down
or they try to ship the production
to keep making money.
They'll ship the production to another factory
in another country or something.
And that costs money.
They'll move the materials by boat.
And that is increasing the prices of the shit
that we buy for Christmas.
So right now you just got all these fucking cargo ships
in harbor.
It's all backed up.
It's all backed up.
Everything's slow. You know,
you know it. If you ordered a couch for West Elm, you may not get it till 2024.
And that does not sit well with a consumer-based society like we are. So Biden says he's done
something to fix it. He's meeting with the ports of, the two biggest ports in the country, Los
Angeles and some other port in California.
And he's working it out.
I don't know what he's doing.
But he also said that like Walmart,
Staples, all these companies, FedEx,
he's going into emergency mode.
They'll be working 24 seven.
They're gonna hire new truck drivers.
There's also like a truck driver.
There's not enough truck drivers
because people don't wanna work right now. They got also like a truck driver. There's not enough truck drivers because people don't want to work right now.
They got used to it, man.
We all started living
like they live in Hollywood
where you could just sit around
and tweet all day
and work once a month
for $20 million
and then get up
and get your fucking statue
and go,
you know what the real problem
with society is?
Living like Mark Ruffalo ain't
so bad. Ain't so
bad. You make a movie every three years,
get paid millions of dollars,
your movie
sells well in China because it's a fucking superhero
movie.
Everyone
got used to it. So we got
a global supply chain crisis right now.
And we'll see.
I mean, I don't know.
Biden's doing something.
Biden says if the private sector doesn't step up,
we're going to call them out and ask them to act.
That'll work.
Just ask them.
Just ask them.
And I don't know how you can do that
when you have federal mandates
saying hey
I mean
what happened
Southwest
there was like 10,000 flights
that didn't get off the air
that didn't get into the air
and
because they just don't have staff
or whatever
and they're trying to hide the fact
that they first
they tried to blame it
on air traffic control
and air traffic control,
and air traffic control was like, everything's fine, dude.
JetBlue's up in the air,
and it seems to be that there's some staffing shortages,
the global supply chain, oil.
We don't know.
They're keeping it under wraps because this is such an emergency.
Biden has such an emergency on his hands right now because if inflation hits,
if the global supply chain gets fucked up, because what's happened is you would think it's ironic. You think people don't
have money, but people have a lot of money to spend because they've just been getting their
rent paid for, their mortgage paid for, and collecting checks. Some of them still working.
So everyone hasn't been spending because they haven't been going out. So now that Christmas
is coming
and people are starting to go out,
everyone is spending a shit ton.
They're buying computers.
They're buying everything.
It's a real demand.
So demand is spiking up the supply.
If you can follow me, it's very simple.
I'm no economist,
but the demand is high right now,
but the supply chain is fucked
because of COVID.
but the supply chain is fucked because of COVID.
The factories just can't produce
because they're mad.
Once one guy gets COVID,
they got to shut down the fucking factory.
FedEx and UPS
are going to start going 24-7.
They've committed to go 24 hours a day,
seven days a week to try to compensate.
So have some stores which have extended hours.
UPS is going to help.
Target, Home Depot, and Samsung,
which is where we get most of our shit,
is going to ramp up their activities
to utilize off-peak hours at the ports.
So everyone's going to try to work overtime. They're going to try to hire more people. So what we're basically doing here
is trying to balance things back out after a major shutdown, which in nature, as you know,
there is no action that doesn't have an equal but opposite reaction. Meaning, whatever action you take,
the check will come.
Karma is real.
Either you get the check up front,
okay?
Either you pay for your fucking slice and your slice gets handed to you,
or you sit down and eat the slice
and you go to the cash register afterward.
Either way,
you gotta pay.
And we could pay dearly for this
because if the economy fucking crumbles, if it cripples, if it buckles under this supply chain
crisis and this inflation, I mean, we just kicked up social security for the first time.
So this is, everyone's going to get a little increase in their social security
due to inflation.
Inflation's bad.
Inflation's bad.
Now there's inflation every year,
but now we have steep inflation.
Which is ironic
because I heard tax revenue's up
because I guess
the upper middle class gets fucked.
If you make a million bucks,
which in New York City is not that much,
you're fucked.
If you're making a couple million, you're fucked,
which isn't that much anymore,
because you don't make enough to hide your money,
and you don't make little enough to get all the benefits.
You got to pay.
So I heard tax revenue is up.
Can you Google that?
I think tax revenue is up, which is wild.
It doesn't make sense,
but they're trying to balance everything out. This is very bad for Biden's presidency. If this
shit doesn't work, he's fucked. His numbers are dipping. He's resting his presidency on this.
Nobody gives a shit about Afghanistan anymore. We've forgotten about that fucking sloppy exit.
Who cares? A couple of fucking Afghani babes were falling out of helicopters. Nobody gives a shit.
We're American, goddammit.
He got us out of there.
Now let's get to more important news.
Like a Seattle school closing on Halloween.
Seattle school
is canceling its Halloween parade.
Because it's offensive.
Transgender workers at
Netflix are threatening a walkout
because of Dave Chappelle's special.
Which if you watch the special
is like just honest and reasonable and comedy.
You know, it's like,
it's very suspect when people don't want you
to make jokes about them.
Because it always, as a comedian,
it seems to me that the people you can't joke about
are the real people who control shit.
And that's why I always think it's funny when people say the Jews control shit.
It's like, you can crack jokes about the Jews all the time.
They have a good sense of humor about it.
You can crack jokes about blacks in front of time. They have a good sense of humor about it. You can crack jokes about blacks in front of
blacks. They love it.
You can't right now crack
any jokes about the gays.
They don't like it.
But even the gays
have a better sense of humor and that's
saying very little.
Because let me tell you something.
I'm speaking specifically to lesbians.
Probably one of the worst comedy crowds you could ever perform in front of.
Lesbians are just kind of just a little, they're a little.
College students, also horrible.
Young people, horrible.
So what does that mean?
It means our country, as you know, our country is run by money.
Who buys the most shit?
Young people.
So who's creating policy right now?
Young people.
Who are young people?
Everyone.
As I said, we're all living in a period of extended youth.
So we're all living in a fantasy land.
So what's creating policy right now?
Fantasy land.
This fucking Native American kid at Yale is in deep trouble because
he sent an email
in jest referring
to his fucking
Federal Society
House, Federalist Society,
which I guess is a conservative organization. Who gives
a fuck?
And they said because the Federalist
Organization, he's part of the Federalist Organization,
it triggered some people.
And because he said they were going to be serving KFC and apple pie,
a good American fare,
they say it played on tropes of black stereotypes
because he referred to it as a trap house.
Meanwhile, trap house has come to mean a lot of things.
Trap house is slang for a dorm.
It's a name of a socialist podcast
called El Chapo's Trap House,
which has been lauded and written about
in the New York Times,
New York Magazine,
The Guardian,
and nobody has a problem with that.
And of course, Chapo.
They named their podcast after Chapo's Trap House.
So this is what you call seeing what you want to see.
The kid's Native American.
Can you get a break, Native Americans?
So this upset kids at Yale.
Don't use the term trap house in your party invite at Yale in your
private email because now they're combing through everything ask John Gruden who I'm not going to
make a judgment on that okay you know he's he was an analyst at the time he was emailing people he
worked apparently there's more emails coming out.
Obviously, you know, he said horrible shit. Do I care? Me personally, he's a football coach. I don't, you know, I don't, I don't care. But you know, if people care, if the football care,
they can fire. I mean, that's what, that's their fucking right. Whatever values they want to
promote, that's fine. I don't give a fuck.
Does he seem like an asshole?
Yeah.
Do I mind assholes?
Not really.
You guys have to understand,
assholes are not the most dangerous people on the planet because you know what you're dealing with.
It's the ones who tell you that they have a utopia
that they're going to send you to.
They're going to kill everybody.
Stalin didn't come up and say, hey, what, guys, I'm an asshole.
He wasn't fucking Dennis Leary singing a song, stealing Bill Hicks' persona.
He was a guy saying, I'm for the people.
I'm going to make everyone great and everything great.
And then he murdered everyone.
Che Guevara,
very complicated figure,
a hero to a lot of young people
but if you look into the facts,
as Ben Shapiro would say,
he killed a lot of people.
That's who you got to be
cautious of
is the people who hide it.
The worst people don't announce
they're horrible.
They pretend to be good.
He also reportedly wrote,
Goodell should not have pressured former NFL coach Jeff Fisher
to draft queers in 2014.
Not good.
No bueno.
Does anyone know another language I could say that in?
Referencing Michael Sam.
But you know, he's an old school fucking football meathead.
What do you think he's going to say?
You think he's going to say it's great?
He's an asshole.
Should he lose his job?
Probably.
But I mean like, you know, don't scarlet letter the guy.
That's not how you're going to change people's hearts.
Just say, hey man, do you the guy. That's not how you're going to change people's hearts.
Just say, hey, man, do you see how that's like not cool?
You know, it's not cool.
And who knows?
Maybe he was joking.
I doubt it.
He called Roger Goodell a, can I even say this anymore or do we get flagged?
He called him an agate and a clueless anti-football pussy.
I know I can still say that word. We're really getting into that
George Carlin territory
where there's like
words you can't even say
on the internet anymore.
The internet does not reward
quality anymore.
It rewards the same thing.
When we started,
when me and Jesse started,
it was like quality.
If something was funny
and people shared it,
boom, they sent it.
Now it's like
you have to do the same exact thing
over and over and
over again. So the algorithm can identify the type of content you are, and then they just send it to
the people most likely to watch that content. So it's become very intellectually incestuous
bullshit that people are consuming. Nobody gets a different opinion. You know what the algorithm
should do? If there's some crazy racist watching all these racist videos,
they should go, hey, how about this?
And you send them a Martin Luther King speech.
Send them the opposite.
If you're watching Yachty Long Days, go, okay, enough about that.
How about this?
Nanette's podcast.
I support that.
And if you're watching Nanette for a long time, be like, okay, take a break. Now go watch Yachtette's podcast. I support that. And if you're watching Nanette for a long time,
be like, okay, take a break.
Now go watch Yanni's podcast.
It should switch it up a little bit.
The algorithm is bad news.
So a lot of people are getting canceled,
a lot of things going on.
Obviously Dave Chappelle's special is making waves. lot of people are getting canceled. A lot of things going on. Obviously, Dave
Chappelle's special is making waves
as we knew it would.
And Ruth Bader
Ginsburg is back in the news
posthumously.
Hef the Art says,
I'm just here for Jay Harvin.
Redilia
12 says, Yanni is the algorithm.
Gruden said,
all Greeks are bisexual.
He should not be canceled for that.
We do have a track history.
The algorithm fucking blows.
Yanni and Radiolab Podcasts
are basically the same thing.
What the fuck is Radiolab Podcasts?
I bet you think that
because of the algorithm
because you listen to both and they recommended me. Can you help my TikTok? I bet you think that because of the algorithm, because you listen to both,
and they recommended me.
Can you help my TikTok?
I only see girls shaking their ass.
They steal from black girls.
Yeah, that's true.
My porn algorithm can be fucked up now, Yanni.
Where is jharvin15?
Where art thou?
Where's Drew?
jharvin15? Where art thou? Where's Drew? jharvin15, there should be a program called the Wokenator
on someone's computer that detects when someone says something outdated
and says, are you sure you want to say that?
Oh, man.
So now gay Superman's son is bisexual.
He's the new Superman.
And there's scenes in the comics of him making out with what looks like a guy from Antifa,
which should give some people on the right a little consolation to at least know
he's rear-ending a guy from Antifa.
I mean, look at that kid.
If that kid's not holding up
a protest sign in Portland,
I don't know who is.
Yeah, he's making out with a kid
with purple hair and glasses.
So basically, he's just...
He set his grinder profile to Williamsburg.
He set his grinder profile to Crystal Lake, LA.
Is that where it is?
I don't know.
So what?
Listen, maybe he's so toxically masculine
and he bangs so much push-puss
that now, much like Alphas in prison,
he's just bodying twinks.
Big deal.
He's sick a woman, like Magic Johnson.
Now maybe he's just bodying a few twinks
because he's so masculine.
He comes out on the other side like guys in jail.
Why not?
I'm just, I just can't wait for the new
Superhero Academy.
What's it called?
Not the Legion of Doom, but the,
you're a comic book geek, former.
What's that?
The Hall of Justice.
The new Hall of Justice where it'll be,
it'll be non-binary superman spider person who needs to
be referred to as they um aquaman will be aqua they and he will be latin x and of course Wonder Woman Wonder Woman's daughter
will be a trans man
named Wonder Bobby
who still can't beat
Odell Beckham Jr.
in a foot race
Jay Harmon 15
this is going to be
the hardest Superman
to greet people
people are going to be like
look it's a bird
it's a plane and it's a plane.
And Superman's going to say, did you just assume my species?
So RBG is back in the news posthumously, like I said, because Katie Couric has revealed in her
book, in her tell-all
book, you cannot trust anyone in the entertainment business because at some point, they're going to
write a book and they're going to divulge all your shit. It happens in Washington and it happens
in New York and LA. The rest of the country is right we are monsters we are hypocritical greedy
little monsters you are right you normal people are great these people are horrific so supposedly
katie curry writes a book and of course the book is sassy because nobody's going to read a book
that's not filled with drama so she shits on all her friends all her exes
and she reveals that she protected ruth bader ginsburg by editing out disparaging remarks
on anthem kneelers go to what she said because i love it um so basically they left that part out because they know RBG is a hero to Kate
McKinnon
and the rest of the progressive people.
She is a hero.
Not to mention
the fact that what's happening in Texas
right now is her fault.
She could have
retired when she was 130
under the Obama administration
when he asked her to retire
because he
wanted to replace the Supreme Court justice
to ensure Roe v.
Wade remained the law of the
land and she refused.
She was a fucking justice until the day she died.
My favorite is
Katie Couric's explanation
for why she redacted
this comment from RBG.
She said she cut the quote because she felt that she was elderly
and she didn't know what she was saying.
So the bitch was a Supreme Court justice at the time.
So if she doesn't know what she's saying
in a fucking interview with Katie Couric,
I'm not sure we can trust her
in creating common law for the Republic.
RBG said in the redacted portion of the interview
that kneeling during the national anthem
shows a contempt for government
that has made it possible
for their parents and grandparents
to live a decent life.
And I think the part she left in
is where RBG said,
I think it's idiotic
or something like that, right?
But that's the part that she left out.
And I don't think that's the whole quote.
So get ready to swallow this load, left out. And I don't think that's the whole quote. So, get ready to swallow this load, lefties.
RBG
has the same opinion as Donald Trump
on football players kneeling.
What's the point?
This ain't reality TV.
Can you stop making heroes and villains out of everybody? Again, a childhood trait
that has swept the West because of, I stick to the premise, this era of extended youth that we live
in where everyone is playing in a fantasy land. We're not dealing with reality.
Adults live in reality
where people are three-dimensional,
good and bad.
Next thing you know,
the next generation,
they're going to rip down Abraham Lincoln statues
because he said a few things
that seems like he didn't want to free the slaves.
He lived in 18-fucking-61.
What did you want him to stand up there?
He's trying to get votes to win president.
You think he's going to go up there like John Brown?
Like, I'm going to kill everybody who fucking has a slave.
He's not going to get elected.
He's not going to be able to become president.
He's not going to be able to end slavery,
which if you read other portions of his writing, he clearly was against. He was friends with Frederick Douglass. Frederick
Douglass also had an influence on him. Do some fucking research and grow up. Stop fucking tweeting
simple shit because you're lazy and a child. I'm fucking sick of this. Now, that doesn't go to say
that you didn't do good work by ripping down fucking Robert E. Lee statue
Because fuck that guy
You made the wrong choice
You could have fought for the good guys
There should be no fucking Civil War Confederate statues
I agree with that shit
But don't take down Honest Abe
Sometimes they have good points i'm just saying let's treat this on a case-by-case basis as adults
and judge people by the address they lived in in time that's what dates are addresses in time
and every address is a different neighborhood and guess what the 1861s is a different neighborhood. And guess what? The 1861s was a different neighborhood.
And if you wanted to become president,
you had to walk the line.
You couldn't always say what you feel.
Do you think Obama says what he feels?
You can't say what you feel as president, okay?
Otherwise, you rattle global markets
and get the chinese very nervous
you know who i'm talking about donald trump you can't have an honest person in office
you need a good liar that's why obama was so good at it he was like i believe in change and
then there was just fucking they would carpet bomb the middle east just carpet bomb He was like, I believe in change. And then there was just fucking, he would carpet bomb the Middle East. Just carpet bomb.
He was like, I'll support
the Dreamers. Meanwhile, he was fucking
catapulting illegal immigrants over the wall.
He deported more
illegal aliens than any president
in history. That's how you do it! that's the era we're living in right now
extended youth
people are arguing what reality is
nobody knows even what reality is
people are saying call me they.
The right wing is entrenched in QAnon
where they think they're shapeshifters and reptiles
living under the ground.
Donald Trump is questioning the election results
and trying to pressure people into overturning
what everyone admits was his loss in the presidency. People are living in
different realities. Some people think a fetus is a baby, some don't. I know that's a gray zone
issue, but people are living in completely different realities. You cannot ban abortion.
You can regulate it, but you can't ban it. It's like prostitution
in that it's going to happen. It's an imperfect system. People like to fuck. They have a drive
to fuck. There's going to be babies. Okay? It's like puppies and a dog. It's an imperfect system.
Nature's not perfect. People need to regulate it. Man can't live by bread alone is also a very philosophical statement, meaning man needs rules and laws and regulation. You need
a referee in a game. Things can't be unfettered. You need regulation because of human nature and
nature. It's not perfect. What do I mean by puppies? Dogs still have a litter of six puppies. Why?
Because in nature, you would have so many puppies. Evolution made it so you had so many puppies
because in nature, only two or three may survive, sometimes none because of harsh conditions,
predators, et cetera. Lack of food. So now puppies live with us and they still have six of them.
There's too many puppies. I'm a dog lover. Guess what is a harsh reality
that I have to accept?
You know how many millions of dogs
are put down every year
because of overpopulation?
That's what happens
when you get rid of wolves
and bears and bobcats
and deer everywhere.
Guess where the deer go?
Into your fucking car
and kill a mother and her child
just trying to get home.
It's imperfect.
We have this
perpetual
vacillation.
That's why no law
is permanent.
It's not absolute.
It's not perfect.
You need to vacillate
according to the times.
Sometimes things need to be
a little more liberal.
Sometimes it needs to be
a little conservative.
That's why the fight in Washington is good to some extent
because you need balance.
There's no perfection.
And the thing that young people do the worst
is they believe in perfection.
They believe in ideals.
And ideals have dominated the national conversation now
because young people dominate the national conversation now because young people dominate the national conversation now
because even older people are young people.
I am in my 40s and I have Patrick Ewing sneakers on.
I am wearing the same outfit I wore when I was 14 years old.
We're living in a period of extended youth
where everyone is playing fantasy
like we did with our friends when we were little.
I have no solutions.
I just have to tell you
that boxing is not back
just because there was finally a good fight
that we had to wait 20 years for.
Also, Tyson Fury is not one of the best heavyweights of all time.
He beat one good guy in his prime kind of
one's 38, one's 35
other than that he beat Vladimir Klitschko who was old
and guess what, Deontay Wilder who he fought three times
knocked him down
three times
so you can't even compare him
to the heavyweights in prior years
who fought many great people.
I don't even think he could beat,
I don't even think he could beat Buster Douglas.
I said it.
MMA is the superior sport.
It's not as corrupt.
You know, sometimes sports function better with a dictator.
Dana White's a dictator.
People want to see a fight.
He makes the fight happen right there and then.
There's fights every week.
The whole card is good.
Boxing, everyone's like, you know, there's tons of belts, tons of promoters.
There's fucking mafia money in there.
People dodge each other forever.
We had to wait for Mayweather and Pacquiao to fight until they were both like 60. It's ridiculous. They're fighting YouTubers now. That's how you
know. Tyson Fury is not the biggest boxing star. You want to know who is? Former Disney star Jake
Paul. That's all I have to say. You know who the biggest MMA star are? MMA fighters. You know who
Jake Paul can't fight after a few years of training? Anyone his weight in MMA because he'll get fucking
bodied and stretched out.
He will get bodied
like the boy
that Superman's son
is fucking in the ass.
This is long days.
Let's go to the Patreon.
All right, now to our
small business sponsors
as usual,
but before we do that,
I just want to give a shout out
to the great Jay Harvin 15.
Follow him on Instagram, Twitter,
Jared Harvin.
Very, very funny.
Come see him and me in Maryland.
Get the tickets,
yannispappascomedy.com.
Jay Harvin 15.
One more joke, he says,
they got to make a remake
of Home Alone with AOC.
And in the movie,
she lets the criminals break into the house because she feels sorry for them. They were just hungry. And then Jay Harden 15 says, for the
Native American kid at Yale, he says, he said it was a trap house, but since he's Native American,
the trap was designated for black bear. So there we have it. Jay Harvin, 15 on all socials. Let's give it up for our good friend,
Nate Linder. Nate Linder is a marketing consultant. So starting at a hundred dollars an hour,
just hit up Nate. He builds websites, runs digital advertising campaigns, and even offers in-depth consulting services to businesses. So natelinder.com,
check him out and help him help you with your social media attack. Andrew Cuomo, Secretary,
how the freak you guys done? How you done? Zjamarealty.com for all your commercial and apartment rental needs in Brooklyn.
Hit up ZJamaRealty.com, the official realty sponsor of long days.
And if you're in the South Florida area, you know, same deal.
Grant Trower, granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com, 954-591-6465, at grant underscore trower on the gram for anything in South Florida.
He will find you an apartment. He will find you a spot. Hit him up. Chris Minetti. Similarly,
if you got a check you need to cash, doesn't matter whose fucking name's on it.
If you're in the South Jersey Philly area, there's one person you go to see.
You go see him personally, in person.
You get to meet the great Chris Minetti.
Just call him.
Just call him at 215-750-3730.
No website, no social media.
That way the IRS can't keep track.
Chris Minetti Financial Services.
Hit him up. Go cash your business check with Chris Minetti Financial Services. Hit them up.
Go cash your business check with Chris Minetti.
Michael Hamlet Jr., of course, one of my faves, thebronxbrand.com.
Go support local Bronx artists.
They get a cut.
It's a revenue share.
They got amazing stuff on there.
I've bought some stuff.
So go check them out.
15% off your order at bronxbrand.com.
For shirts, art, whatever, with the promo code FUMES.
bronxbrand.com.
Now you know our good friend Reese Ormond, one of our big Patreon supporters.
Techvera.com.
Love this company, man.
For all your cybersecurity tech needs, techvera.com. Love this company, man. For all your cybersecurity tech needs,
don't hire an IT department.
You know what I mean?
Just go to techvera.com.
24-7-365, they help you out.
Techvera.com.
Then, of course, we got the great Eastside Cheesecakes.
Thank God.
I mean, dude, I scrolled their instagram last night i just went it just like you can feel you can feel like your sweet
tooth it's like looking at porn like it doesn't it makes your sweet tooth hard it's so incredible
east side cheesecakes they are on to something man also available at uncle paulie's in the los
angeles area hit up east side cheesecakes.com for your cheesecake. Eastside Cheesecakes, all one word on the gram.
And they're going to be shipping nationwide soon. So when that happens, the long haulers,
the floodgates are going to open. Aaron Lee for the free.us. All things music and Hawaii.
They host free shows, post free music by local artists. If you're interested in
learning about new bands or the music scene in Hawaii, if you're a music geek or you're interested
in learning about new stuff, which you should always do every day, ForTheFree.us. Check out
that site. It's amazing. Rob's Mental Playground in the building. Now, what does he want us to read,
fucking Rob? Sick of gift cards and other last-minute BS, crappy holiday gifts?
Find your people something different and special this year with robsmentalplayground.com.
For the entire month of November, get 15% off apparel, 20% off prints, 25% off paintings
with codes HOLIDAYAPPAREL, HOLIDAYPRINT, and HOLIDAYPAINTING to save on the playground.
It's really a playground.
Go like, if, who doesn't go get themselves a fucking Rob's Mental Playground piece of art,
just because you're a fan of this podcast. Rob's Mental Playground.com. Rob's Mental Playground
on the gram. Go get yourself something from Rob. And then we got exclusiveautoshipping.com from Jared Z.
If you're moving,
you got to ship your wheels anywhere,
okay,
in the country,
nationwide.
They also can ship internationally.
That includes Alaska,
Puerto Rico,
and for the free.us's
very own Hawaii,
go to exclusiveautoshipping.com
and get your free quote
so you can move your fucking wheels.
You know what I mean?
Thank you, guys.
Patreon.com slash Yanni.
Long days.
Go join for your bonus episode every week
and other content.
Go join.
Support the podcast.
Become a member
because who knows when I'm going to get canceled, baby.
Now, we got our new Patreon members
who have come to our program.
Okay, we got some new long haulers
over at patreon.com slash yannylongdays.
Let's see if any of them have funny names.
Marcus, Martin, Andy Kennedy,
Benjamin, a.k.a. Benjamin.
Then we got Bryce P.,
Christina Iwanu
Iwanu
she's Greek
then we got
and then we have
Patricidal Michaela Peterson
she should just call her podcast
Jordan Peterson Daughter Podcast
or she should just call her podcast Jordan Peterson's Daughter's Podcast. Or she should just call
herself Jordan Peterson's Hot Daughter's Podcast. And then we got Mike and the Gay Pick.
Then we got Jack Hickey and Joel Aarons. Welcome, guys. You are our newest members.
Patreon.com slash Yanni Longgaze. Join up, guys. Love all the fans.
Please tell your friends. Please go to iTunes. Please go to Apple Podcasts, it's now called,
and leave a review and rate it. Please do that. It really helps. We want to get to a thousand
ratings. We're almost there. So please, a hundred of you, just go over, take a second, rate and review the pod. And remember to get tickets
on my website for Baltimore, for Phoenix, for Florida, Tampa, for New Jersey at Uncle Vinny's.
Go to yannispappascomedy.com for tickets. We'll see you next week.