Yannis Pappas Hour - Kneegrow
Episode Date: April 9, 2022Bonus ep this week https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysYannis is joined by Jared Harvin, as per usual, and they explore what you can and can’t call different groups of people. Then they invent a ne...w slur against white people and Yanni has some pretty extreme ideas on how to bring peace between the races. This is a COMEDY show. This is a hot wire dance, enjoy!Live tour date tickets https://www.yannispappascomedy.comSponsors Coinbase https://www.coinbase.com/partner/fumes?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=rt_p_us_w_m_acq_fms_pod_0_fumesCerebral https://cerebral.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=fumesJoin for weekly Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSubscribe to our clips page for podcast highlights https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwThe show goes out every Saturday. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispapPrevail independent movie link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=II1rcRWAZ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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What's up guys? Before we start this episode, hear me out. Phoenix, Arizona, April 14th through 16th.
We're coming down there doing stand-up. Get your tickets at yannispappascomedy.com.
Yes, sir.
Then Addison in Texas. It's basically Dallas from April 22nd to April 24th.
Then Cleveland, Ohio, May 5th through the 7th at Hilarity's.
And then Roebling Auditorium in Roebling, New Jersey, May 14th.
The Jane Pickens Theater in Newport, Rhode Island, May 28th.
Get your tickets right now.
Right now.
And we will see you there.
Our bonus episode this week, your extra long day, is called
Speeches and Bucks.
And it's how politicians and people
in politics make their
money. Make that move up, baby. We talk
about Stacey Abrams and
her former life where she was a
romance novel writer. Yes.
You may know her now as
the huge political operative
who galvanized the vote, registered a million Democratic voters in Georgia, and helped flip the state for Joey Biden.
But before that, she was a sassy, sassy, sassy, noom de ploom.
She was known as Selena Montgomery.
Yeah, she used to flip bodies, but now she flips states.
Flips states.
But she used to flip bodies and get sexy writing romance novels under her pen name.
Let's put them open.
Selena Montgomery.
Enjoy the ep. And the news online going on and on What's right and wrong and there's something up Now here comes a great kid you know you can trust
From the true who's who
To the news and cameras
To the fake politics
And the propaganda
Get his kids screwed in
Got a lot to say
Aw shit, it's about to be a long day
It's a long day
What's up everybody?
What a week it's been
I am back with Jared
We were on the West Coast.
No, more the South Coast.
We were in another country called Texas.
It's a little different,
and that's where I take all the women I've impregnated
and leave them so they can raise their babies on their own.
You can't get an abortion there.
So it's the opposite of wanting your girl to get rid of it.
If you want to force your girl to have it, drop her off in Texas and lock her in.
It was a lot of fun.
Rogan was fun.
Obama visited the White House.
There's a lot of bills being passed everywhere.
If you're in Oklahoma and you want to marry a kid, it's getting close to that being okay.
If you're in another place, you might be able to use a bathroom.
Iowa, you can use a bathroom.
There's bathroom laws.
We have marriage laws.
We got abortion laws.
The state and city legislatures have never been more busy.
Georgia's got a new law that the police can investigate an election fraud if that comes out.
Local law is busy AF.
So now it's time for us to all learn local laws.
Elon Musk is own speech now.
I think he owns speech.
That's what it is. If you ask anyone who supports
free speech, they're saying Elon Musk is Jesus of free speech. This is long days. We got a lot
to talk about and let's find out. So here we are. We had a great time. Obviously, we were down in Texas, and then we went up to Wisconsin.
Yep.
I called it the West Coast because if you consider it from New York's perspective, it's West.
Yeah, everything's West from New York's perspective.
Yeah, because unless you go into the water.
Yeah, a little bit.
Unless you go into the water.
There's nothing east of America.
Nope.
There's nothing east of New York.
There's nothing besides New York.
Yeah.
So we went West. We had a good time. We went up to Wisconsin. Pretty white out in Wisconsin. Very white. Pretty white. Yeah.
I like to say it looks like it's snowing even if it's not snowing.
Yes. And if you looked at it from a plane, you would go, why is it snowing in
July in Madison, Wisconsin? And you would go, that's not snow. That's just
white people walking around State Street.
Yeah, it looked like a mayonnaise convention.
I mean, it looks like if mayonnaise was people, that would be Wisconsin.
Yes.
It's very white.
It's very white.
And I was a pickle.
You were a pickle in a sea of mayo.
Yep.
Yeah.
There's a few, but not many.
Not many.
Even the homeless people are all white. Yeah. Yeah. There's a few, but not many. Not many. Even the homeless people are all white.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's pretty white in Madison and also pretty woke in Madison.
Yes.
Yes.
The only other black person I met in Madison, and he was working for the milk company.
So that would seem a little 50s racist, a little bit there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And also, they're famous for their cheese and their milk, also white.
Yes.
Also very white.
You can't get away from the color white in Wisconsin.
Yep. You can't get away from the color white in Wisconsin. Yep.
Including snow, ice, and the people.
Yep.
You just can't.
And the condiment mayonnaise.
Yes.
It's available.
It's always white, you know.
Yeah.
You can't escape it.
I love this new affiliation with mayonnaise and white people.
It's funny.
It's funny, but it's accurate.
It's accurate.
Yeah.
But, yeah, I mean, do Chinese people like mayonnaise?
They have a low tolerance for certain things. I mean, people like mayonnaise they have a low tolerance for certain things i mean they have a low tolerance for cheese they have a low tolerance for alcohol
yes i wonder when light low tolerance for sunlight low tolerance for sunlight i wonder if mayo if
asian people go for mayo yeah i don't think their idea of sushi was a philadelphia roll so i don't
think so yeah philadelphia roll. I love those Americanized rolls.
Yeah, I hate those.
When they put the fake crab meat in there.
The California roll is a fake roll.
Yes.
And, yeah, sometimes they put that fake.
They call it, like, crab meat, but it's like a sugary tofu substance.
Yeah, I'm good off that.
Yeah.
No, dude, they eat.
Well, right now we're confused.
Well, Asians.
They're all Asian.
Yes. Yeah, they're all Asian. Isn't it wild they're all Asian, but they have, like, right now we're, well, Asians. They're all Asian.
Yes.
Yeah, they're all Asian.
Isn't it wild they're all Asian, but they have completely different languages and stuff?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, there's a lot of different types of Asian people. A lot of different types.
You got your Thais.
Yeah.
You got your Vietnamese.
You got your Koreans.
You got your Chinese.
Don't forget about the Cambodians. You got your Cambodians. Yeah. You got your Koreans. You got your Chinese. Don't forget about the Cambodians.
You got your Cambodians.
Yeah.
You got your Japanese.
We're at seven.
Has anyone ever counted Chinese people like the counting crows?
Pol Pot did.
Pol Pot counted them, and he subtracted a lot.
Yeah.
Pol Pot did a little math And he did
He used the minus sign
Yeah
Yeah
He went
There's this amount
Of Asian people
But when you minus these
When I kill them
You end up with those
Yeah
Pol Pot didn't use PEMDAS
No
Yeah
He used an eraser
Yeah
But yeah
I mean
Are we missing
Any other type of Asians?
You probably got a lot more.
You know, the Southern Asians.
Yeah.
I'm trying.
Well, can we say Taiwanese?
I said Taiwan.
Oh, from Taiwan?
Yeah, because China might get mad at us.
Yeah.
And then John Cena is going to be speaking another language.
No, you better say they're Chinese.
You can't call them Taiwanese.
They're Chinese.
I'm sorry, Kingsley.
They're Chinese.
Yeah.
It's China.
They're Chinese.
So that's, I think, are we missing an Asian?
Is that Vietnam?
Vietnam, Cambodia.
Nepal?
No, wait, where's Nepal?
No, Nepal.
Vietnam, Cambodia, Koreans, Japanese, Chinese.
Thais.
Thais.
Vietnamese.
I think we got to seven or eight.
Has anyone ever, like, that's a question a lot of people, if it came up on Jeopardy
and said how many Asians are,
how many types of Asians are there, everyone would go, whoa.
I thought there was just one.
That's like trying to figure out blow pop flavors.
Yeah, there's just different.
And they look a little different.
Some people can tell the difference between Koreans and Japanese and Chinese.
Those people are not me.
I can't.
It's very difficult.
I'm not a phenotype expert.
Yeah.
But how many different types of Asians are there?
Did we nail it with seven?
Is it like the seven fishes?
The seven sins?
He says,
U.S. Census Bureau and the federal government,
most state data collections include India
and the entire Indian subcontinent.
Well, those are South Asians.
Okay, so you're not going to count them.
No.
All right.
Yeah, I'm talking about,
you know what I'm talking about,
what I mean, Asian.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a look.
Yeah.
You know, then the South Asians,
they share the, you know,
they're on the continent, but-
You don't want desert Asian.
You want Tokyo drift Asian.
I want a Tokyo Asian.
Yes.
Yeah, I'm talking about more of a-
I got you, yeah.
Yeah.
Whatever happened in that region that made them look so different, it's like a change
in weather that really must have got them.
Yeah, it really caught them.
A change in weather made them great at Dance Dance Revolution.
I mean, yeah, it made them.
And it also, those two people look very different.
Very different.
Indians and Pakistanis look very different from real Asians.
Yeah.
Those are the real Asians.
Eastern Hemis.
It's like the difference between Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian.
It's very different.
Yeah.
Very different.
Same area.
South Asians' father is OJ Simpson.
Yes, very different.
Or as my dad used to call them, Orientals.
You can't say that anymore.
That's funny, but you can't say it anymore.
And why did Orientals become a slur if
because they're from the orient right and what's bad about the orient plus i think you can still
say it in a design context right you can still say uh oriental rug yeah right but you can't call an
oriental and oriental yeah you only can refer to a rug as oriental yeah but what what what made it
bad oh no someone did he look up Oriental real quick Jesse?
Yeah
Let's see
Because this girl said it in my college class one time
It was like 2015
She was like
And the Orientals
What happened to them?
And the whole class just froze
Yeah
Yeah
I mean it's really funny how we're
And then a new one comes along
Especially East Asia
East Asia
So it's for
The real Asians
Yeah
Basically not the South Asians.
Not the South Asians.
Yeah.
The Asians, their faces look different than the South Asians.
Yeah.
And their feet look different too.
Their feet can be smaller.
Yes.
Now, words always change, right?
Of course.
So you have it all the time.
Latinx, they added an X.
That was the least imaginative change.
Yeah, but that's just to get male and female together.
So it's just an all-encompassing thing.
So what is the Latinx?
So Latina is woman.
Latino is man.
Latinx is everybody, like all of Latinx.
Yeah, basically.
And you get your non-binaries in there.
It gets you good.
Oh, it's more inclusive.
Yeah, it gets you covered.
It's like a W9 after you perform at a comedy club.
Right.
Okay, so it's more of just like an all-inclusive resort. Oh, it's more inclusive. Yeah, it gets you covered. It's like a W9 after you perform at a comedy club. Right. Yeah.
Okay, so it's more of just like an all-inclusive resort.
Yeah, man.
That all-inclusive resort. Latino, but wasn't Latino man and Latino female?
So this is just throwing the knife at me.
Latina is female.
Latino is male.
Latinx is everybody.
Yeah, it's everybody.
But you can't say Latino anymore.
It has to be Latinx.
Can you refer to a guy as Latino?
You can refer to a guy as Latino, yeah.
And then can you refer to a girl as Latina?
Yeah.
So then you're referring to Latinx.
You're just taking the gender out.
Yeah, but if you have the history of Latin people and you just say Latinos, that's not accurate because you have women in there too.
So you have to say Latinx as opposed to Latin.
Yeah, but if you're talking about John Leguizamo's hairline you can say latino
male has a receding hairline right right you don't have to say latinx no you don't have to
say latinx right um okay now i understand that yes there you go okay that's not that hard i agree
with that it's all encompassing it makes it easier or they could have just said latin or hispanic
i think well hispan Hispanic's not accurate.
Hispanic refers to a region as well.
So it's not really accurate to the people.
That's what happens when you take an African and Latino studies class in college, kids.
Yes.
You get to school Greek, man.
Are Latins in favor of Latinx?
I don't think they care.
As long as they get to wear a thong to the Puerto Rican Day Parade.
I think a lot of Latins aren't even aware of it.
Like, real – like, Latins who are not on Twitter.
Yeah.
If you call them Latinx, they're like, what?
Yeah, we're too worried about the marinade for our carne asada.
Yeah, I don't think any, like, working class Latins are even aware of the switch.
Yeah.
I don't think they've gotten the memo.
They're, like, I don't even think they know.
So that's your new name.
If you're watching this right now, okay okay and you're working a real job and you don't have a twitter handle
we're here to let you know your new name is latinx yep okay now if you're asian you're not oriental
anymore you're asian can you call them asian i think you can do that and call them asian and
if you're indian you're i think you could still call them Indian, but also they're South Asian.
And now black came into question.
Yes.
There was a thing between certain schools going, because, you know, Negro, when I was, before I was born.
Yeah.
My dad, you see, even when I said Negro, you got a little something.
Yeah, I mean.
But Negro.
Because the beginning of that word,
the beginning of the word sounded like you're going to end it very differently.
All right?
So Negro at one point was the preferred.
Okay.
That was like the preferred name.
Yeah, Negro, yeah.
No, but I didn't say it like that.
I know, I know.
Depends on how you say the E.
Yeah, it's okay.
Say it again.
Yeah, when you say Negro, you really got to hit the E. Yeah, you got to hit the E. Yeah, it's okay. Say it again. Yeah, when you say Negro, you really got to hit the E.
Yeah, you got to hit the E.
You got to go knee.
You got to slow down, son.
You can't be.
Don't have anything in your mouth.
Don't be distracted.
When you say that word, say that word with care like you're drunk driving.
Yeah.
You want to go slow.
You want to pay attention.
Don't go over 35.
You got to say that word how Gerard Carmichael does comedy.
Slow.
Slow. Yes. You want to do it slow. Yes, very slow. You don't want to go attention Don't go over 35 You got to say that word How Gerard Carmichael does comedy Slow Slow
Yes
You want to do it slow
Yes very slow
You don't want to go fast with that
That's the word you want to take care of
That's like lifting a glass table
Out of a doorway
Yes it's like driving through a parking lot
Under 5 miles per hour strictly
Yeah you just want to
And you want to make sure
You hit the E
Yes sir
The E is the most important word
Uh huh
You can't say
You can't go
You can't go closer
You can't go closer.
You can't go,
you got to go E.
Just tighten your body and go E.
Yeah, guttural, son. Go knee.
Yeah.
Knee.
Very guttural.
Make sure you hit the E.
Say it like you're fighting for the Ukraine.
You might even want to go knee.
You want to hit the E hard.
Yeah, yeah.
Knee.
You can Whitney it.
Whitney Houston it a little bit.
Yes.
And you got to hit the R in there. Grow. Yeah. Grow. Kne can Whitney it. Whitney Houston it a little bit. Yes. And you got to hit the R in there.
Grow.
Yeah.
Grow.
Knee.
Grow.
Yes, you do.
Right.
So just be careful with that word, kids.
Yeah.
You would never say it now anyway.
But now.
Only in context.
But that's where I'm bringing it up.
Yeah.
You can only say it in context that it used to be the preferred nomenclature.
There you go.
Gistmierder.
Gister.
It used to be. Now, sir. It used to be,
now even when I say
the preferred,
blacks used to prefer,
I'm going,
is black right
or is it African American?
Because that became a thing too.
I don't care.
Black people,
it became a thing.
It became a thing
for a second recently
where it was like,
is it African American
or black?
I think black won.
Yes.
I think the black community
made it known, right?
Yeah. That black was okay. Just say black. I prefer won yes i think the black community made it known right yeah that black was
okay just say black i prefer african-american i prefer black because african-american is the
proper term right so like i only see african-american when i'm applying for a college and it doesn't
matter anyway because i'm getting denied right but like african-americans is just the proper
term of how people see you in the united states just call me black yeah but you're not getting
denied because your skin color you're getting denied because you were probably a sociology major,
and you're not that smart.
Yeah, like me.
Yeah.
I mean, you know.
Yeah, I was a theater major, so I don't have much to say.
I have no guns in this fight.
You can't just walk at MIT and be like, I'm here.
They're going to be like, okay, we'd love to bring you in because we love diversity,
but you're fucking stupid.
Depends on how good his essay is yeah yeah um so i think i think black won that yes it black one so black is the way
american african americans like to be called because there's no but they're synonymous right
yeah or afro remember it was like a thing to afro is it gonna be afro-american yeah i like
afro-american because like i'm greek-american right yeah so shouldn't it was like a thing too. Afro. Is it going to be Afro-American? Yeah. I like Afro-American because like I'm Greek-American.
Right?
Yeah.
So shouldn't it be like instead of just going with the color, shouldn't it be like Afro-American
is kind of like more accurate?
Yeah, but like what if you're.
What's in a word?
What's in a name, Shakespeare?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, but not all black.
We can't call black people non-means is what you're saying.
You can't do that.
You can't do that.
You can't call them non-means.
African-Americans come from Africa, but you also have a lot of Haitians, a lot of people
from Turks and Kenkos, a lot of people from Jamaica.
That throws a wrench in the afro.
Yeah, that's going to be black, so you can't really put African-Americans on them.
So black is the all-encompassing.
Black is the all-encompassing thing.
Just like Latinx is the all-encompassing.
Yeah, there you go.
Just slap black on me.
And white is the all-encompassing for us, because we're all different, black on me. And white is the all-encompassing for us because we're all different
too. You got your Jews, you got your Irish,
they're really right. You got people
who are whiter than other people.
Like the Scandinavians,
they're really white.
And they go down lower, they're a little
darker. It depends on how much
interaction you have with the sun. Oh, yeah.
It depends on your environment. Yeah.
Need some vitamin D in you. Now, they say that the Asians
have their look.
That look kind of developed
from
the desert or something.
Jesse, let's look that up.
We're getting your fingers. I mean, we're off
for two weeks and now your fingers are back, son.
You had a rest. Now it's time to get back in the game.
I love how we're
dancing on a hot wire and I love it. It's what I love to do. What's's time to get back in the game. I love how we're dancing on a hot wire, and I love it.
Yeah.
It's what I love to do.
Yeah.
What's the question you want me to ask?
Yeah, what would be the question to ask Google without us being banned from life?
How did Asians evolve their skin pigmentation?
Yeah, how did they start to look like gray aliens?
I mean, I just gave you the Google search term, and he just gave you the Bing term.
So I don't – I mean, I just gave you the Google search term, and he just gave you the Bing term. So I don't...
I mean...
Wouldn't it be great to live in a world, though,
where you could just make jokes and, like,
why are people so caught up with what people's characteristics are
based on where the environment,
they interacted with the environment?
Yeah.
To me, I just, I don't care enough.
Yeah.
I don't, I just don't, you know, it's just like I don't care.
It's not something I think about that often.
Yeah, but you're a person that has something to say.
You already got something to say.
The people who are offended and looking for shit to be offended about, they need a horse in the race.
And that's their only horse in the race.
I mean, who could care that much?
How much can you care?
How much can you care if someone's got different eye shape or different hair?
Who cares?
I don't care.
Some people are bald.
Yeah.
Some people got brown hair.
Yeah.
Some people got blonde hair.
Yeah.
Some people got green eyes.
They're lucky because they're gorgeous.
Yep.
Some people got small feet, big feet, big dicks, little dicks.
Yeah.
Some people got a little bit fatter guts.
Everyone's DNA is different.
If everyone looked the same, it would be boring.
Do you think Hitler would eventually got bored?
Let's say Hitler got what he wanted.
Let's say Hitler got what he wanted.
And it ended up being just like an all blonde, white.
Do you think after a while they would have been like, dude, this is not lit.
And one Latin woman walked in and they were all like
they all turned into lenny and squiggy and they all were like i need that because and then hitler's
going but that's inferior and they're like brother my dick is telling me otherwise the heart wants
what the heart wants because you get you get bored very who wouldn't get bored about seeing the same
thing isn't it great to have variation? Yeah. Something different.
If everyone was the same, it would be so boring.
Yeah.
It would be so fucking boring.
Everyone on the court would be the same size.
The shorter people are usually quicker.
The taller people are usually more powerful.
Yeah.
It's variation.
Imagine watching a game with five Shaquille O'Neals versus five Shaquille O'Neals.
You don't want that.
It's boring, dude. Don't want that. Boring, dude.
I want to see Steph shooting threes.
I want to see Shaq dunking on people.
It's the same thing with race and sizes.
It's like variation.
I want my plate.
I don't just want ribs.
I want a little side of mac.
I want some greens.
I want some corn.
Some cobbler.
I want some cobbler.
I want some cornbread.
But I'm watching my sugar.
Yeah.
I'm watching my sugar.
You got to cut something.
A little bit.
A little bit, you know.
Yeah.
So what would be...
Jesse Googled space aliens are breeding with humans.
Yeah, I mean, you just...
Well, yeah, I don't know.
Is this JoeRogan.com news?
I saw it on InfoWars.
Yeah, I saw it too.
I saw it.
I saw that this might be something that was released, but.
Yeah, it says space aliens are breeding with humans.
They're knocking them up and they're going back into outer space.
Basically, space aliens are not paying child support.
Right.
They're knocking them up and they're leaving.
Yes, they are.
Yeah.
This is NBC News, by the way.
Oh, where are my glasses?
Yeah.
Yeah, Or like Jared
Will just have to read for me
Alright talk to the people
Alright
Where are my glasses?
Where are my glasses?
So it says
Space aliens are breeding with humans
And a university instructor says
Now
It's an outlandish claim
That has secrets breeding program
Creating alien-human hybrids
Who can survive climate change
Outlandish claim
Has a secret breeding program
Can we go lower?
Maybe you've never seen any space aliens.
No, no, I haven't.
No.
I love how he goes maybe.
Maybe you're the 99.999999%
who have not been abducted.
But recent polls indicate
that up to 6% of Americans
claim to have been abducted by them.
The experience doesn't sound pleasant.
The extraterrestrials are often said to take their captives
in their saucers, lay them out on a table
and extract sperm from the men and impregnate
the women. Oh, God.
Alright. If you're familiar
with UFO lore, you know there are a couple
of common explanations for these breeding experiments.
One is that the aliens... Now, here's
the deal. Either this is true
or now we're at this point
where NBC is doing articles that used
to be only in the national inquire that's why when it comes to this article i i it used to be like
i would judge something on have i seen it in the bbc is it in the guardian yeah is it in the times
is it in the washington post yeah that's what i used to do right nowadays especially since you have these uh
hunter biden other stuff a lot of the activism in journalism you start to you start to go like
i don't know what's real or not at all anymore i mean for god's sakes there are slap truthers
right now yeah there are people who don't know whether that was real or not real. And even when you tell them, like, dude, I know a guy who knows Chris Rock, and Chris Rock is upset about it and doesn't know what to do with it yet.
And it's real.
And they're all working for Nancy Pelosi.
And you're going, dude, nobody knows what's real.
And you know whose fault that is?
It's the fault of media
Right?
It's not the fault of social media
And I'll explain why
It's not the fault of social media
It's not the fault of content creators on social media
Yeah
It's the fault of mainstream media outlets
Who've lied
Or exaggerated
Yeah
Employed hyperbole
To get clicks
And they've all been caught doing it.
They've all gotten lazy with their reporting.
The examples are too many to mention.
So it's like being in a relationship with somebody, right?
Once you lie to them, if you're in a relationship with a woman,
you lie to a woman about cheating, right?
The relationship's over because the trust is gone.
It doesn't matter what you do from that
point on you can be honest for the rest of your life the trust is gone yeah the trust is always
gone the precedent is already set the trust is gone in the relationship so that's what's happened
with media and and the population the trust has been. The people don't have any faith or trust.
So even when the media is telling the truth now,
the people are still going,
I don't trust you because you lied to me.
You cheated on me before New York Times.
I caught you fucking somebody else.
So that's basically the perfect way to understand
why we have this crisis in media,
which is often attributed to Joe Rogan
or misinformation. It's like, no, dude, you did it. You're gaslighting us now. You created this
environment. You did it. We learned it from watching you, dad. Okay. You, once you compromise
that integrity and you broke that sacred pact with the people that you work for the people as a free press and instead started working for your corporate interest to make more money and put that bottom line over accurate information to the people, you broke the covenant and you set the trend for people to be distrustful of what you're
disseminating.
Yeah.
I said disseminating wrong.
If that was the word Negro, I might have gotten in trouble.
Yes.
Because I think I just said disseminating.
No, you got it right.
It's not good.
Yeah.
It sounded like I had a British accent or I'm Yanni.
Yeah.
Who says words wrong.
Yeah.
It's a little bit of gay that came out.
It's all right.
You know what's funny is even in an old clip of my stand-up on my half hour, I called,
I have a clip where I called him LaDame Lee and Tomlinson.
Yeah.
And someone quoted and said, Yanni's been saying names wrong since the beginning.
Yeah.
Because his name is not LaDame Lee.
Yeah, there's just a Starbucks barista in your head.
Yeah.
Yeah, I am the coffee cup writer of speaking.
You order a cup of coffee from me and your name is Jared,
it's going to come back Jason.
I just, yeah.
I mean, I put that on a special.
Ledamian.
Yeah.
It's on a special Ledamian.
And it's just, I said it wrong. Yeah. Ledamian is also a lit black name. Yes. Also is Led Damian. It's on a special La Damian. And it's just, I said it wrong.
La Damian is also a lit black name.
Also is La Damian.
And the reason why I chose that name, it's because
it's one of the dopest names.
It's La Danian, right?
La Danian, yeah.
La Danian Tomlinson.
Your tongue has to do like a little dance
with the top of your mouth to get that out.
Your tongue has to do salsa with the top of your mouth to get that out. Yeah, your tongue got to do salsa with the top of your mouth to get that out.
LaDainian.
Yeah, LaDainian and the Brickashaw, of course.
The Brickashaw's a good one.
The Brickashaw Ferguson.
He went to Freeport on Long Island.
The Brickashaw's a good one.
Yeah.
There's some good ones out there.
There's some good.
Those might be the GOAT.
Yeah.
Black names, that could be the GOAT.
LaDainian?
Yeah.
That's dope.
So there is, yeah yeah inside the conspiracy theory that
will smith's oscar slap was staged i don't know who benefits from this we explained it on the we
we went on it we we talked about it yeah we talked about what i believe i believe it was a little bit
of everything i don't believe it was staged but i do believe will smith part of like i said he you
know he did it in part actors can't take their acting hat off.
And like, you know, it made big news.
Yeah.
It made big news.
We talked about it in the last episode, so we won't get into that.
So let's start, because that was fun.
That was fun breaking down what people are called.
Very fun.
Asians, I think it's safe to call them Asians.
White people, you can just call them whatever.
Or the devil.
You can call them Cracker, the devil, Honky, Uninformed, Oppressor.
Whatever you want to call donkeys, you can call them.
Honkies is always my favorite slur for you.
I like Honkies.
That's the good old George Jefferson.
That's a classic.
That's a George Jefferson classic.
Yeah, Honkies.
Cracker's good.
Cracker's good. We need some better ones. Cracker's good. Cracker's good.
We need some better ones.
Cracker Conjo's up the south.
How about Mayohead?
Yeah.
Let's think of a good new pejorative for white people.
Mayonnaise face.
How about scream mask face?
Financial aid denier. Financial Aid Denier.
Financial Aid Denier.
Yeah.
I like that.
Cracker's good.
Yeah.
But don't you think of the South with Cracker?
I think of like a hayseed.
I like the way Chris Rock would say it, though.
Cracker-ass Cracker.
Cracker-ass Cracker's good.
Yeah, yeah.
Not as good as Honky, though.
No.
Honky's just good.
But Honky just feels white.
But Honky doesn't sound like offensive, though. Right. It sounds like a gas station on the side ofky though. Nah. Honky's just good. But honky just feels white. But honky doesn't sound like offensive though.
Right.
It sounds like a gas station on the side of 495.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me stop by a honky.
Let me get a sec.
Let me stop by a honky to get a churro.
Yeah.
It sounds like a Bucky's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's think of a good one.
Let's really fucking stick it to Whitey.
Whitey's also not that great.
Whitey's another one.
Yeah.
Comehead. What? Listen. What? Because come's white. I'm trying to think of a good. that great whitey's another one yeah um uh come head what listen what because comes white i'm
trying to think of a good cum stain yeah cum stay yeah but that's also it could be junk we got to
think of like you know things that are white yeah things that are white and things that are bad that
are white listen cloud face listen oh god i wish we could come up with a good one there's nothing
in this world that's bad that's white though
Huh
Are there many things that are bad that are white in this world
When you think about it
What's bad that's white
Puss
Ghosts are white
Puss is
That's kind of yellow
Puss is bad
Yeah puss is bad
Puss is bad
We can't say ghost
Ghost face
That's a man
We can't do that
Ghost face color
Yeah
What's bad that's white?
Puss.
Puss.
Puss.
Listen, puss.
If you just called him puss, that's a good one.
Yo, come on, puss.
Puss breather.
Yo, puss breather or just puss.
Puss face.
What's up, puss?
Get this puss out of here.
Yo, puss.
Peace.
Get this pussy ass pussy out of here.
Yeah, get this pussy ass puss out of here.
Puss instead of puss
Again it's the way
You pronounce it
Yeah
Negro
You know
Puss instead of puss
Yeah
Puss
Yeah
Yo what's up puss
Get out of here puss
I'm sick of all these pusses
I'm sick of these pusses man
These pussies be taking
All this shit
I hate these fucking pusses
That's a good one
Yeah so you have white heads
And then you have pusses
White head White. White head.
White head.
Because of the pimple.
Yo, listen to me, white head.
Yeah.
Yo, dog.
White head.
White head.
Take that fucking puss shit out of here.
You dumb white head.
Yeah.
You're a fucking white head.
Yeah, you don't belong in this pool, you fucking white head.
Yo, get out of this pool, you fucking whitehead puss.
Yo, puss, get out.
This is a black-only pool.
Get the fuck out of here, honky.
Wow, he went old school.
Yeah, but I still called you puss, too.
Fuck, I'm sick of these pusses, son.
There's fucking pusses everywhere.
Gotta get rid of these fuckers.
Everywhere I look, it's like a fucking mayonnaise convention
Rice
Rice is white
Nah I like rice
I'm Puerto Rican
I like that
You like arroz
Yeah arroz con pollo
Arroz is also a more lit way to say rice
Yeah
Some words should just be adopted
From other languages into English
So instead of rice
Can I get some rice
You go yo let me get some arroz.
Arroz.
Yeah.
Arroz.
Yeah.
You like that because it sounds like a Greek god a little bit.
It does.
Yeah.
Arroz.
Yeah.
It does sound like he was on Mount Heracles or wherever it is.
Yeah.
I don't know my own myths.
He's the Greek god of grammar.
Yeah.
You didn't praise him.
No, I did not.
Yeah.
Arroz.
Yeah.
I didn't pray to him enough.
No, you did not.
He's a Greek god.
Yeah.
And when you read my posts
I mean the grammatical errors
Are just about
My wife reads those
And goes Jesus Christ
You went to college
When you make a post
It looks like you were typing
And your daughter just took your phone
Halfway through
It's a complete run on
Fucking sentence
Yeah
Alright listen
We're talking to all our
Puss fans out there
Cut the shit
Yo stop being a puss
Yeah
So Elon
Talking about pusses
Talking about
Talking about African pusses talking about talking
about african pusses yeah okay because he's from africa he's south african right south african so
he's a pus yo i love pus he's a pus from south africa so elon musk i think but i think pus in
africa has like a negative uh though. So that's good.
We're using it as a pejorative.
We're saying it's bad. Alright, we'll find out later.
Yeah. We don't want to ask
Jesse to Google it because we'll be behind
four stories. He's going to end up on
xvideos.com if he puts in Puss in Africa.
No matter what we ask Jesse to Google, it ends up
being lesbian porn or some sort of
deep fake. Yes, we can ask Jesse
to Google his own name
and a picture of Denzel Washington
will pop up.
Yeah, I mean,
anything can happen
where you Google it.
A lot of times it does end up,
he does,
you search for a deep fake.
Yeah.
He gets a nice deep.
Yeah.
If we bring up Elon Musk,
you may be searching
for Elon Musk deep fake.
He didn't deny it either.
His little Google roulette.
You never know
what you're going to get.
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So this puss right here, this puss from South Africa, he ended up out of nowhere.
So he was tweeting on Twitter.
Yeah.
Like past couple days, he was tweeting these polls like, who believes free speech is important
for a democracy?
And when you do those polls, I saw it when he tweeted it.
It was like everyone was going, yes, like everyone.
Again, it's like one of those disconnects. It's like, dude, listen, tech.
People want people to be able to say stuff.
The majority of people want people to be able to say stuff, bad, good, or otherwise.
It's like that's the cornerstone to what individual rights freedom is about.
Free speech is one of our constitutional rights.
It's what makes America amazing.
The freedom to make mistakes,
the freedom to say bad things.
We gotta get rid of this thing
where we start to define people
only by the mistakes they made,
especially if it's one mistake.
That's like really zealot,
that's like zealotry. That's like zealotry.
That's like, you know, it's like people are not their bad tweet.
Yeah.
Someone puts a bad tweet out.
People are not their worst moments.
You know what I mean?
Stop being, you know, it's like Jesus said.
He who's without bad tweet cast the first tweet.
Yeah.
Against them.
Right?
It's like we've all done bad tweets.
We've all said bad things.
We've all done things. Yeah. You can't define a whole person based on one thing they said. Yeah. I mean, Jesus is not's like we've all done bad tweets. We've all said bad things. We've all done things.
Yeah.
You can't define a whole person based on one thing they said.
Yeah, I mean, Jesus is not the guy that you want to take Twitter advice from.
I mean, the guy only had 12 followers.
He only had 12 followers.
Yeah.
That's not a lot of followers, dog.
No, it's not.
It's not that impressive.
No.
That is not that impressive at all.
Yeah.
I know Russian bots that probably got a lot more than that.
A lot more than Jesus.
Yeah.
Jesus only had 12 followers, dog.
If you put him on Twitter, I don't think
anyone would listen unless he got retweeted
by Joe Rogan.
So
Elon Musk, after tweeting all this
stuff about free speech,
he, out of nowhere,
pulls a
strong
Bruce Wayne move.
It was a real Bruce Wayne move. Bruce Wayne. It was a real Bruce Wayne move.
And he purchases 9% of the shares of Twitter,
which makes him the single greatest shareholder of Twitter.
I don't know what that comes with.
A lot of people now,
the funny thing is the reactions to this.
Yeah.
So let's talk about that.
The reactions being generally people on what people now, the funny thing is the reactions to this. Yeah. So let's talk about that. The reactions being generally people on what's now I guess known as the left, I don't know, are really upset and they're scared.
They're scared, which is really crazy to me that people on the left would be scared of someone who's saying, I'm supporting freedom.
It's a little weird.
Yeah, very scared.
What's going on on the left that people are scared of letting people speak?
You know, bad, good, or otherwise.
That used to be a benchmark of what the left was.
Let people speak, subversive speech, anti-government, stuff like that.
That was very left, right?
stuff like that you know down you know that was like very left right so and people on the right are also having a funny reaction going like you know free speech like i said free speech jesus is
here yeah we're gonna be able you know you know there's those people on the right who are just
like i just want to be able to yell the n-word yep you know so those people always ruin it for
everybody else you know it's like why can't i's like, why can't I just, you know,
why can't I just scream the F word at gay people walking down the street?
Is this a miracle or is it not?
You have those people.
And you're going like, okay, dude, look.
Yes.
Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Free speech is, there's a limit on free speech.
Oliver Wendell Holmes on the Supreme Court,
one of the best justices, if not the best justices.
Oh, that's the living dude right now?
No, he's dead.
Okay.
But he, in a case, summed it up like this.
What's the limit on free speech?
And nobody has done it better.
And nobody will, because this encapsulates best
what the limit on free speech is.
You can't yell fire in a crowded movie theater.
Now, that doesn't just mean yelling fire in a crowded movie theater.
That's an example for when your intent can cause harm.
Yeah.
And so it has to be examined, right right by maybe a legal body or whatever but
there's a limit right if you have a hateful intention that could conceivably or reasonably
lead to violence or disorder or chaos or something negative, then you're pushing the limit on your speech. Right?
So it's arbitrary, yes.
It's a little bit of an amorphous, yes.
Because we're dealing with law.
We're not dealing with math here.
We're dealing with trying,
we're dealing with the social contract
that we all subscribe to in order to live in a free society.
Not that easy.
Because one man's freedom could be oppressing another man.
If I'm peeing outside and you go,
hey man, I'm walking down the street with my daughter,
you go, oh, well, I'm free.
That's an extreme example, but you get it.
It's like, that's the struggle constantly. It's like, okay, where does my freedom end?
Where does yours begin how do we
make this work where we're all happy because people have different ideas of what they like to
do and what fun they like to have right some people like to get hit while they're banging
okay some other people would call that a crime yes so that's what gets weird yep that's where
it gets very weird some people like to get smacked okay i'm not into
it i don't like to mix my sex and violence but some people do like to mix their sex and violence
all right yeah okay so this is i'm giving extreme examples but that is where the limit on free
speech generally falls yes yes yes you can't give everybody everything they want. Right. There's just a limit on it. There's a limit on it.
So you have those people on the right who are just – they're like the first thing they want is, hey, man, just – and Elon must be learned.
And then we'll get to how much power he actually has.
But Elon must be learned.
Hey, it's not that easy.
I know we give the tech companies a hard time all the time, but imagine being in their position to sway elections,
to let these Chinese and Russian fake sites put all this stuff out there,
and then people are believing.
It's not easy to legislate this stuff. They're not legislating to mediate, to be accurate to mediate.
They're trying to mediate this.
Because if you own a tech company or you own a social media platform and you're seeing that what you're allowing on your platform is leading to all types of bad problems in the real world, you start going like, maybe we do bear some responsibility.
It's even like Joe Rogan said.
He said, you know, he's like, I don't want this type of influence over politics.
So he's like, I'm just not going to talk about it anymore because he's realized he does have a sway.
Now, is he to blame?
I don't think so.
In my opinion, I think, if you ask me personally,
I'd say education is to blame.
People are fucking stupid because we underfund our education.
Public education is a joke.
But that's a whole other topic.
But Elon Musk comes in, and this is a big, big culture war, right?
Bigger than the trans swimmer, which is hard to get.
Very hard.
Is free speech on the internet.
This is something I think everyone's struggling with.
The tech companies are struggling with it.
The regulators are struggling with it.
We're struggling with it.
Everyone's struggling with it.
What is the solution beyond us all killing
ourselves yeah and being gone you know i think you got to let people go to that line and define
that line and then you can't cross it from there you know right because even as comedians you know
the thing is as comedians we define that line you know we you define that like you said you don't
know how free people are in society unless you have comedians because we go to the line then
if we cross it go okay that's the boundary don't cross that yeah right and also yeah you you don't without
comedians we're always saying the thing you're not supposed to say exactly so that in and of itself
is an exercise of freedom precisely it shows like oh people are still free because they're not being
now you start to see people saying comedians can't say that. Comedians get slapped if they say that. Comedians.
So you're starting to see there's this fascist tendency.
I had a friend named Mike Needleman in college.
Shout out.
He's probably not watching this.
He's a lawyer.
He could care less.
But yeah, I don't think we got a fan base of lawyers.
No, we don't.
But he once said something to me, and I always remembered it.
And it was in college.
He was a smart kid.
He was my roommate for a little while.
He said, humanity has a fascist tendency. remembered it and it was in college he was a smart kid he was my roommate for a little while he said
uh humanity has a fascist tendency and it always rears its head it always comes out like it's just
it's something we always got to watch like we have a tendency to give into that group think and start
demonizing someone else and closing down freedom. We all have it in us.
It's a control freak kind of thing.
It's based on insecurities.
We have a fascist tendency that starts to weird set.
I'm starting to see a little turtle pop
above the water right now.
I'm crowning with a shit.
I'm starting to see the fascist tendency
start to come out with everyone telling everyone to shut up.
Everyone going, shut up. Don't say that.
Everyone's going around saying, don't say that.
Yeah.
Everyone's saying, don't say that.
Everyone's threatened by everyone else's words, opinions, things like that.
Nation's about to have some ass pee.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They got some.
Everyone's got diarrhea.
A little bit.
You having that conversation in college?
We're having that conversation.
That's a deep ass conversation to have over some ramen, son.
Yeah.
It was probably a little weed too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably.
I mean, I was insufferable all the way since high school oh yeah i've been this way
the whole way believe it or not oh yeah jesse's known me that i've been insufferable i mean you
know i i i could give you a long day at any point yeah i mean i i dole out fucking long days like
the paper boy yeah i just throw them at your house yeah yeah so i mean those are the types
of conversations i would have on a park bench with kids sitting listening to the hip-hop in a fucking boom box yeah it's the only thing to
stay strong your character and your hairline yeah yeah yeah but i was always bringing up shit like
this um it's what i like to talk about i don't know i you know that's what i call me don't don't
apologize for your character son that's who you are yeah Yeah, so it's not a clean cut thing.
It's not like when you take a dump and you wipe and you're surprised,
which is rare with the American diet.
Remember, I think when we were kids, we would have cleaner shits more often.
Now it's like you wipe perpetually and then you just got to hop in the shower.
Yeah.
Yeah, because our diet is just horrible that you can't get a clean shit.
No, you can't.
When you do, it's like the best thing in the world.
You're like, I don't even have to fucking take a shower.
I'm good.
So free speech is kind of like that.
You're not going to get one clean wipe.
It's going to be clean.
It's a messy issue.
Yeah, it's going to look like a Jackson Pollock.
It's a little bit of a Jackson Pollock.
Yes.
Yeah, it's a little bit of a Jackson Pollock.
So Elon Musk is coming in.
What I like, I like the buffer.
Because I acknowledge that these extremists are here right now.
So for the immediate future, I like that they're both there to buffer each other.
Yep.
You know what I mean?
It kind of keeps things in place during this zany time where it's like, okay, if we're going to have far right people, at least there's far left people pulling them this way.
Because here's the thing I thought about the far left, right?
Okay.
People have never accepted gay people, right?
Until recently.
Gay people know how horrible that's been, right?
Black people haven't been accepted until,
I don't know, not as recent as-
Oh, the 2017 NBA Dome Contest.
Until about like 15 minutes ago.
Yeah.
You get my point.
If I was gay or if I was black or if I was a marginalized group or whatever.
Yeah.
Or even.
If you were gay?
Because I'm gay.
Yes.
There you go.
Because I'm gay or like even a discriminated against ethnicity because everyone's got it a little bit.
The Irish got it.
Greeks got it.
Everyone got it a little bit.
Whatever it is.
Italians got it for a second. And then, the Irish got it. You know, Greeks got it. Everyone got it a little bit. Whatever it is, Italians got it for a second.
And then they, you know, assimilated
because they look more whitish.
But not without struggle.
The Wasps did not like them at first.
What I would do is I would go hard.
Now, I'll explain to you why.
You get it, right?
Because then you got people
who don't accept your existence going,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
We just want you guys to not compete against.
We just want you not to compete against my daughter in sports.
Yeah.
You can do all that other stuff.
You get down to the foundation of the real root.
Yeah, so you know, that could be a good strategy.
Yeah.
Right?
If like, if I'm trying to, it's like, it's like, you know, it's like when you negotiate,
you go big.
Yes.
You start with a high number.
So then you can come to the medium.
So you can come, the median so you can come
you know you always go like
alright what's my
floor
and then you shoot for the top
yeah
knowing you're gonna end up here
so maybe they're shooting
for playing in women's sports
but they're just gonna end up
being like hey dude
just don't throw things at me
when I'm walking down the street
yeah
so that could be a good strategy
and hopefully that's where it ends up
yeah
so I you gotta look at it from their perspective
now if you're black
what I would do
everywhere I go
I would fucking be blaring
I'd be blaring my music
as fucking loud as possible
every song would have the n-word
every other one
this is starting to sound familiar
every rap song you'd hear the n-word every other one. This is starting to sound familiar
Every rap song you hear the n-word over and over again. Yeah, every white person is saw I would just hit
So then it gets a point blank. All right. All right. All right
Just don't hit me but you guys you guys can have all the opportunity want perfect strategy Did I cross the line?
You smoking some dicks
I think I'm fucking with free space
I think I'm advocating for violence
Which is not good
This is a comedy program
Yeah you want to turn people
Into the Foot Clan
From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Like what the fuck
Is the matter with you son?
We get the cops called on us
When we're sitting at a Starbucks
Having a goddamn cake pop
What the fuck makes you think
That we go down the street playing some J. Cole
smacking motherfuckers in the face?
We gotta go harder.
What's harder than that? Blowing shit up.
You just described our childhood though.
Yes. Yeah, and look how you ended up.
Not good. Yeah.
But the general, like if
I was a member of the ostracized group
I got the point.
You gotta overshoot it.
Overshoot it so then you come back to the middle.
But you have to give the grace to the people that you're overshooting on.
What if you guys just started throwing white people off buildings?
And then they just go, okay, just don't throw white people off buildings.
Yeah, but then you—
And we promise we won't redline you anymore.
You have to give the grace to the people.
What is it called?
Redlining?
Yeah.
We won't redline you anymore as long as you stop throwing white people off buildings. Yeah, but you got to give the grace to the people that you're doing that at to give you the chance to go to the people. What's it called? Redlining? Yeah. We won't redline you anymore as long as you stop throwing white people off buildings.
Yeah, but you got to give
the grace to the people
that you're doing that at
to give you the chance
to go to the middle.
Now you're going to have
a lot of militarized people
going against the oppressed group.
Yeah.
This episode's going to get
kicked off and I like it.
Yeah.
Okay, so you're saying
you can't do that.
You can't do that
because then you're going to have
the...
For comedic purposes,
could you throw people off buildings?
Yes, you can.
It would be funny
if they were just fucking
Launching honkies
Yeah
Is there a pus line
Of fucking whiteys
Yeah and they were falling
Into a vat of Miracle Whip
To save their fall
Yeah
Well that would be funny
If you put a jug of mayonnaise
Down there
And you just threw them
Into the mayonnaise
Yeah
Alright
How about this then
Okay maybe not that
Because that's too violent
And we got Listen stupid, stupid people watching.
We're not advocating for anything.
I'm just making jokes.
This is all for humor.
Yes.
Okay.
What if instead at the carnival, if the carnival you had white people, you know, when you throw
the thing, instead of a clown up there, it was like a white person, more specifically
Southern white woman.
Yes.
Most valuable thing in American history.
Yeah.
So you put a Southern white former, you research her lineage.
You find out she has some connection to some plantation owner.
You put her in the thing and then everyone, and then black people can throw balls at her
or whatever to hit the thing and then she falls into a jar of mayonnaise
yeah i like that you know then you get you get it out and also it's hilarious it's hilarious and
then if you get a bullseye you get to put hot sauce in the jar and make a break out in the
hives i like that like that yeah that's what i'm talking about so there we just solved it yeah we
just saw yeah you know or you don't have to go extreme trans women in sports white people getting
dunked in mayonnaise yeah and asian people how do. And Asian people, how do we stop Asian hate?
How do we stop Asian hate?
You got to, you have?
I don't know what the solution is.
I just know it has something to do with egg rolls.
We're solving racism here.
We're solving discrimination.
Yeah, okay.
Who's the people that does the most of Asian hate?
Hate me though.
What'd you say?
I can't say it.
Maybe you can.
Wait, wait. Black people? I don't know. I don't know. know i didn't say it i didn't say it yeah i'm just saying i don't know i don't know i
don't know i haven't looked at the stats i don't even know if the stats are legal can you even look
at the stats we don't know okay so this is what you want to do all i know is dave chappelle said
whatever's happening out there has also happened in my in my body when i had cove okay so maybe
it which is one of
the best jokes I've ever heard. Is this a solution?
So whoever's oppressing you, right,
to get respect for them, you have to become
an annoyance to them. You have to inconvenience
them in some way. Right, that's the premise.
So for black people, if we want to get respect for
white people, we as black people have to steal
all the instructions from an Ikea furniture,
right?
And we hold that shit ransom.
If y'all want your baby, Moo Moo,
you won't have to come to us and give me my civil rights.
Right.
So if Asian people want respect against black people,
they're going to have to steal all the backwoods inventory
from a bodega.
Right.
Yeah.
Or if you just, you told Darius Rucker
he could not perform for white crowds anymore.
Yeah.
White people would riot
Yes
There's nothing more
That white people
In the south
I can't think of
One or two things
They love more than
Darius Rucker
Yeah
Darius Rucker dude
He's full country now right
And he's great
He's full country
He's great
He might be the best
But yeah
White people love
He's the music Obama
Yeah
White people love him
Yeah you gotta have
To restrict him.
I'm talking like Nashville.
I mean, Darius Rucker's a fucking god.
My wife loves country music.
Darius Rucker.
So that could be another thing.
We take away Sperry Topsiders.
Yep.
Yep.
Okay, those are taken away.
Yes.
And we take away.
We take away Salt Life stickers on the back of people's trucks.
Take away that.
Yeah.
That's a Long Island thing.
You tell white people they cannot love Obama anymore because they're white.
That would hurt them bad.
White people love Obama, especially in coastal cities.
I know there's some maniacs watching.
I don't love Obama.
He bombed everybody.
Yeah.
He's the fucking president of the United States.
What president doesn't bomb people?
Yeah, and they're watching this on their Miramax TV anyway.
Yeah.
So we take away top siders.
We dunk them in mayonnaise.
Yeah.
We got a good system going here.
Yeah.
We got a really good, you know, we're solving it right now.
Yes, we are.
But we still are dancing around what do we do with the Asians.
The Asians.
How do we stop Asian hate?
How do we stop Asian hate?
Do the Asians, okay, the Asians have to start, what do we stop Asian hate? How do we stop Asian hate? Do the Asians...
Okay.
The Asians have to start...
What do they do to annoy people?
You got to take reruns of Rush Hour 2 off TNT.
Oh, that'd be bad.
Yeah.
What do Asians really love?
Okay.
You got to put all of their markets indoors.
You can't...
You got to say that their markets have to smell good.
They got to smell good.
No Ivy League.
Huh?
Cut out the Ivy League.
Oh, you can't.
Oh, you're not allowed.
You're not allowed to be smart.
You're not allowed to be successful in the United States because most of them are immigrants.
They come over here to make something of themselves.
No, yeah, but they're smart.
They dominate the admission process at Ivy League.
So you say, you know what?
Right now.
No, but isn't that creating more discrimination?
I'm getting.
Isn't that the idea?
No, the idea is they're supposed to annoy.
And they got to go the other way.
No, so are we trying to get rights for.
Are we trying to get Asian hate solved?
Or are we trying to get something that Asian people cause against another?
No, we're trying to stop Asian hate. Okay. So we're trying to stop Asian hate. So we have to do something to other people committing get Asian hate solved? Or are we trying to get something that Asian people cause against another? No, we're trying to stop Asian hate.
Okay.
So we're trying to stop Asian hate.
So we have to do something to other people committing to Asian hate.
Right.
We're doing the opposite.
The Asians have to go even harder.
Yeah.
So the Asians have to do something very Asian-y.
Yes.
They have to do something very Asian-y.
Or that annoys their adversary.
I understand now why gay rights.
The gay parade now is assless chaps. They're an adversary. I understand now why, I understand why gay, like the gay parade now is assless chaps and
they're all naked.
Yeah.
Because they're going like, you want to get all the discriminatory people to just go,
okay, okay, okay.
You can have your marches.
Please put your pants on.
Yes.
If you want to stop Asian hate in America, you're going to have to stop giving duck sauce
in Harlem.
Stop giving, ooh.
Black people love that duck sauce, son.
Dogs.
You close Chinese restaurants
in black neighborhoods?
Bro, the French fries with the wings?
Yep.
With a little bit of cardamom
and ginger in there, son?
Dude, right away,
I think,
I think,
wow,
I think Killer Mike will make a statement.
Yes.
I think he will go on Bill Maher
and say, okay, okay, enough.
Yes, bro.
Please open these places back up.
Closing those Chinese restaurants
will have more an effect
than those hoses in Selma.
Yeah, dog.
Yeah.
That could do it.
That could do it.
I think we just solved it right there.
So there you have it.
Okay, racism is solved.
And it's by going a little harder
for a little while
until the people
who are discriminating against you
can't take it anymore.
Make them realize your success
and you're prioritizing your existence in the society.
It makes the oppressor appreciate you.
Who they were appreciating.
Yeah.
Who they're taking for granted.
Yeah.
That's what it does.
At the end of the day, it goes,
oh my God, I don't know if I can live
without Hootie and the Blowfish.
Yeah.
I never considered that that would be a possibility.
And it's like, yeah, you keep fucking doing all this police brutality or whatever, we're
going to tell Hootie, don't perform for white people anymore.
Yeah, you got to make people realize why you are important.
Yeah.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Yeah, that's a good one.
I like it a lot.
Okay, so we solved racism.
So back to free speech.
We're all over the place, but this is a goodie.
So Elon Musk comes in, he buys 9%.
So what can he do with 9%?
He's the biggest single shareholder,
but he's not the majority shareholder,
obviously at 9%.
Yeah, there's a board,
there's another 11 members on the board.
But he's going to join the board now. He's on the board. He's on the board. Right, there's a board. There's another 11 members on the board. But he's going to join the board
now. He's on the board.
Right, he joins the board now. So he'll need
support from other board members
and shareholders to win any
kind of approval for future proposals.
So he's basically in the same spot that Kodanji
Johnson's in right now.
In what way?
Because she's waiting for approval for her.
He's just going to need to politic a little bit.
So, like, let's say if the idea is they want to...
Oh, Elon Musk talking, that's going to go great.
Like, a big thing is the Trump thing, right?
They do Trump off Twitter.
So, they're going to go, what's your position on...
So, there's 11 other members of the board.
So, he can't just make the decision himself.
He's got to have support from other board members.
Right.
It's like a jury.
Right, right.
But he's still way outnumbered.
There's 11 of them.
There's 12 altogether.
Right.
He's one out of 12.
Right.
Who knows who the other ones are?
Who knows who they are?
And they could be replaced.
Like Jack Dorsey, the founder of Twitter,
is on the board now, but he's leaving.
Oh, so he's leaving.
Yeah.
So he could buy his shares.
Yeah, so he can keep building his stake and control Twitter. Oh, so he's got his foot in the door and now he's trying to Yeah. So he could buy his shares. Yeah. So he can keep building his stake
and control Twitter.
Oh, so he's got his foot in the door
and now he's trying to get in the house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that's what we don't really know exactly,
but it's a good move on that part.
Yeah, that house is going to be
solo powered though.
Well, you know, he's doing it.
He's obviously not doing it for the money.
He already made a shitload
because the share price went through the roof.
Oh, because when he joined.
Yeah.
So that just shows you,
the way the stock price just shot up, right,
just shows you what the people want.
Yeah.
The majority of the people want people to be able to speak.
They want to see people's opinions,
even if they're ugly.
I am of the opinion that you want to see that stuff.
You don't want it lurking in the shadows.
Even if it's hateful stuff,
you want to know where it's coming from.
Yeah.
You want to see what people think
So do you let Trump back on?
Me personally?
Yeah you're Elon
Yes
Let him back
I would let him back on
Okay
I would let him back on
If he's found to be
Breaking a law
Or something like that
Then of course
That's a different thing
Then you're removed from society
You shouldn't be allowed on Twitter
You know I get that
But yeah I would allow him back on The question comes with thing, then you're removed from society. You shouldn't be allowed on Twitter. I get that.
But yeah, I would allow him back on.
The question comes with influence and hot button topics and how much influence a person has in a certain situation.
And that's when people get deplatformed.
Yeah, because Trump just crosses the line once in a while and he's not a comic.
I don't even know who a comic is anymore because comedy is dead.
I mean, they don't even want comedians to be funny.
The industry doesn't want comedians to be funny.
They don't pick funny ones.
They just want you to be gay.
The most famous comedian now is not known for being funny.
Funny doesn't get you anywhere anymore.
You kill in a lineup, it doesn't get you anywhere.
Nobody cares.
It's like, what's your take?
What's your politics?
What kind of controversy did you have?
We talked about it in the last episode, but it's the same thing in politics.
It's scary because you see now, what are the people who you can remember who are in the house?
I'll tell you who I know.
I know Burbert.
I know Burbert.
Bobert.
I know Marjorie Taylor Greene.
I know AOC.
I know Ilhan Omar.
I don't even know my own fucking state's fucking representatives.
Schumer?
And why do I know?
Schumer, of course.
He's the only one because he's a fucking 170 years old.
He's got librarian glasses.
Yeah, he's been in there forever.
Yeah.
But like all the other ones.
Looks like one of those
trolls from Harry Potter.
He does with his hair like that.
Yeah.
I'm hard pressed to remember
any of these other fucking guys.
And the reason I remember them
is because they're controversial
and they're kind of lowbrow.
Yeah.
It's very lowbrow shit.
They're on Twitter,
owning each other,
making these fuck, it's like high school. Yeah. And now you low brow shit. They're on Twitter, owning each other, making these fuck,
like it's like high school.
Yeah.
And now you're seeing
that fucking Hollywood
where a guy walks up
and smacks another guy
for a goddamn joke
at the Oscars.
So you're going like.
It's a department from decorum.
It's going like,
what's going on here?
It seems like the internet's winning.
Like everything's just
becoming the internet
because, you know,
there's nothing like
a good rabbit hole
watching people get smacked
or memes or all that stuff.
The internet loves that.
So that's the negative side.
That's the dark side of the internet.
And it seems like it's kind of taking over everything.
So that's the worry.
So people do take it too far with the free speech.
And so that's what you're worried about.
Like what is it?
Because he does incite shit.
I mean to say that he didn't incite that January 6th thing is ridiculous.
Yeah.
He's going, why don't you guys march down over there?
You know?
Why don't you guys march down there?
I don't know.
They're having a vote.
The election was stolen.
What's that based on?
It's based on a hunch.
It's the same hunch I had if I would have lost the first time.
Because he said, he goes, if I lose to Hillary, he goes to the stake.
You know, that's what he does.
He's a fucking troll. He's a fucking troll.
He's the king troll,
which is hilarious.
You know,
on the podcast I did with Joe Rogan,
he was like,
you know,
Joe was going like,
you know,
Obama looks old
after he got out of office.
Biden went in looking dead.
It ages people
and he's like,
Trump looks great.
Trump's still making jokes
and,
you know,
what I didn't say because, you know, I just didn't get the chance, I wanted to say, see, that's
what happens when you don't take the job seriously.
Yeah.
You don't age that much.
I mean, the kid treated it like a fucking TV show.
Yeah.
He treated it like a fun TV show.
He treated it like it was news radio.
I know there's people watching, he did this, this, and this, and this.
Okay, fine.
I mean, he did some stuff.
He also didn't do a lot of stuff.
He also fucking ran his mouth a lot as a leader that made shit very unstable sometimes.
There's also a lot of other shit.
I don't want to get into it.
Are you in the comics?
Hate me, like me, good.
Just voice it.
But you go, yeah, at that point, like, you know, the January 6th thing, okay, it wasn't the Holocaust, but it also wasn't a party gone wrong.
It was something in the middle. It wasn't a couple of guys who were upset that Zac wasn't a party gone wrong. No. It was something in the middle.
It wasn't a couple of guys who were upset that Zac Brown Band didn't show up.
No.
And it also was not the Holocaust.
Yeah.
But it was the storming of the fucking Capitol by people, whether they didn't have guns or
I get it, but they did fucking storm the building, which is some real banana republic South American
third world shit.
It's the political malice at the palace. It's the political malice at the palace is a great way. It was. Yeah. which is some real banana republic South American third world shit.
It's the political malice at the palace.
The political malice at the palace is a great way.
It was what happened in Detroit.
Yes.
It was really some Ron Artest shit that went down there.
It was some Ron Artest shit.
It was in that neighborhood.
So you can't have that.
David Stern had to say, hey, you go up in the stands, you're out of the league.
You had to come down hard.
You got to come down hard and make an example because you can't do that shit.
Or else you don't have a functioning democracy.
Nobody reasonable would disagree.
And to say that he didn't incite that.
I mean, we know from text and all that.
He did.
He did.
He did.
He kind of did it with a strong wink.
So he is that type of guy. But for to be tweeting i would say yeah because it's free speech i mean the guy's not he's not a criminal i mean
why is he kicked you know i don't know but then that's where that's where elon musk i think will
learn is that it's in a favorite movie, State of Grace.
There's a difference between ideas and action.
You know, everyone has an idea, but when you put it into reality, it's never what you seem.
Oh, yeah.
It doesn't go the way you plan.
Yeah.
It never goes the way you plan. It doesn't come to fruition the same way.
It's not.
There's a difference between ideals and reality.
Yeah.
You know, it's like, oh, I love this girl.
She's going to be hot.
And then you go and she's got fumes.
There's always something that gets in the way.
Or she farts in the bed. Or she picks her nose.
It's happened to us all.
I'm just laughing because you closed
like five podcasts this way.
What, by going? To the State of Grace reference.
Oh, I did? I've said it before?
This is my first time here.
Yeah, have I said it before?
Difference between ideal? Yeah, Jesse knows your closers. Yeah, I mean, yeah. it before this is my first time here yeah yeah yeah have i said it before difference between
ideal yeah well you know jesse knows your closets yeah i mean yeah unfortunately we've also talked
about about four things we've talked about already yeah and we didn't get to anything
how well how long we've been going we're at an hour we're at an hour already so i mean is there
anything else louis won a grammy louis won a grammy yeah um a lot of people are upset yeah you know it's
it's hard to avoid the culture war with news i know because that's all that's all the news is
now is like louis win a grammy would just what would we even talk about but now it's like okay
there's people who are really upset now you didn't see it you didn't see the special no but i know
it's funny yeah it's louis yeah yeah i mean it's gonna be funny dude everything he does is funny
i've seen him do comedy he may be the best dance allegations were funny
his allegations were even funny yeah yeah you couldn't get funnier than the
allegations yeah you know and now he would get in a lot of trouble for saying
that yeah that would be very there's a lot of people watching that going like
then you're you hate women okay yeah no I'm No, I'm serious. No, no, no, no. I'm saying,
but like asking a woman
to jerk off in front of her,
her saying yes,
and you breathing,
looking at her is pretty funny.
It's very funny.
Under the veil of consent.
If there was no consent,
obviously that's not funny.
That's harmful.
That's wrong.
Don't do that.
But with consent,
if you're just breathing
into a woman's eyes,
that's hilarious.
No, the whole thing is funny.
If you're asking someone
reasonably,
you're going like,
it's creepy.
I'll say it's a little creepy.
Yeah, it's creepy.
Because here's the, I think the exact details of the story were that she didn't say no,
but they didn't necessarily say yes.
Weren't they giggling?
They just started giggling and thinking it was funny and stuff like that.
You got to get that yes on.
But even the giggling and stuff like that is like, and then he took it out.
It's like they could have left.
They didn't have to keep giggling.
Yeah, they get it on the power dynamic.
It's like, yeah, it's not the best thing, but it's also not.
The Holocaust.
You got to treat consent like it's a Netflix.
Are you still watching?
You have to do that now.
You got to hit that yes.
I'm still here.
I'm good.
Clearance.
Let's go.
But let's be honest.
You got to do that now.
And let's also be honest, as there's much gray zone, a lot of women are, that's not
going to, that doesn't get women wet.
When you go, excuse me, ma'am, can I touch you here?
Yeah.
They go, just take it.
You're going like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah.
I ain't doing that.
Yeah.
But at a certain point, I don't care if you're wet.
As long as I stay out of jail, I'm good.
I'm with you.
Yes.
I'm with you.
Yeah.
And I'm married, so I'm out of the game.
Thank God.
Yeah.
I'd rather you be dry than me be dry.
Yeah.
I'd have to be lubed up with jam and syrup i tell you if you wanted another motivator to get married and live
that life it's to fucking get out of the me too crosshairs oh yeah yeah that's a good one when
people go people looking around you go hey man i was at home with my wife doing boring shit
so yeah keep it away from me dog yeah they ain't got no accountability on you bro you know don't
worry there's nobody trying to find out what I was doing more than my wife.
Yeah, it's like Martin Lawrence and Bad Boys 2.
Cat, I was at a family barbecue.
Yeah, exactly what that is.
Yeah, yeah.
So, but yeah, I mean, you know, because come on, let's be honest.
We've all been with women.
No woman likes it when you go, eh, eh.
Yeah, yeah.
Like Chris Rock, that joke.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Do you mind if I, uh.
Yeah, you don't want to be screaming.
But you know what's crazy?
If people heard that joke now,
like women with certain activists would hear that joke that he said
and be like, that's advocating for rape.
Because that's how nonsensical it is now.
When Chris Rock was going like, you got to take it.
You know, just do that shit.
She'll like it.
I don't mean to judge, Louis.
Just don't have no weird ass shit doing that, bro.
Like if it gets you off, if you could could kiss her, ask for consent to kiss,
and then put it in your spank bank, and then do that later, do that.
But don't jerk off in front of nobody, because that's just weird.
There was one allegation where he was on the phone, and he was masturbating.
That's fucked up.
She didn't know, and he's pulling his little fucking freckled penis.
It's disgusting over his little fucking gut. His gut with his bald head.
He looks like a guy, if he wasn't funny,
that you would definitely just go and get away from.
Yes.
He's got a creep vibe.
Let's be honest.
Yes, he does.
He looks like a guy who's got some fucking hidden kinks.
And lo and behold, he does.
He looks like a permanent undercover boss.
He just looks, yeah.
I mean, he apparently used to do it in front of Sarah Silverman
and she didn't mind it.
Yeah, she thought it was funny.
She said it, and then she got in big trouble for saying it.
And then, of course, she had to do like 10 other.
Wokeness is like Hail Mary's at the Catholic Church.
If you're caught doing Sarah Silverman did a joke in blackface, then now she's got to go, okay, well, I'm for all this.
Please, I'm for all this.
Just don't look at that
anymore yeah um because she when she said uh he did it in front of me and then women were like
how dare you how dare you say you didn't mind that he did that she's going i don't know he's
a friend i thought it was funny and then she then she had to go of course i'm fucked up i have i
just i'm i know that's i'm gonna so um he won because he's the funniest. But I was surprised they gave it to him.
I was surprised the Academy gave it to him.
Yeah, even to nominate him.
Yeah, to nominate him.
I was like, wow.
Because he's persona non grata.
We were talking to the owner of the club we just did,
where I just shot my special coming out soon, someday,
coming on state they they had they
booked him and there was like protests every day there was articles it was a big problem yeah but
he still performs though he tried he performed but it was a big problem for the club yeah it was a
big problem oh i'm saying at other clubs he still he performed like depends where like he'll do a
theater that he rents out by himself.
And they'll protest.
There'll be people out there protesting.
Yeah.
Or he'll do, like, certain clubs.
You go to Governor's, there's gonna be no protest.
Yeah, there's gonna be no protest.
Governor's is in Long Island.
Yeah.
They haven't even heard of what happened.
And if they did, they'd be so...
What are you talking about?
Yeah, I mean, there's protests.
That's bad?
There's police presence at some of his shows.
Like, you're not sure if it's a Louis C.K. stand-up show or N.W.A. show.
You can't tell.
Which, now, let's just think about it.
I mean, we're kind of desensitized to this, but isn't that wild that there's, like,
you need to be policed for a comedian to go up and tell jokes,
even if he took his dick out in front of a few women?
I mean, like, he's a creep.
That doesn't mean he's a criminal.
Yeah.
Is he a criminal?
Can he do comedy again?
I mean, you know?
You're creepy.
If you've crossed the line of consent or you didn't know you did something that wasn't sexually allowed,
then obviously you shouldn't be welcomed with a warm embrace.
But if you're just a creep, still rock out.
You could do comedy and win a Grammy.
Yeah.
Apparently.
Don't talk to my girl, but you can still rock out.
Yeah.
Just stay away from my girl.
Yeah. And there's some girls who like that. Some people like. Yeah. Apparently. Don't talk to my girl but you can still rock out. Yeah. Just stay away from my girl. Yeah.
And there's some girls
who like that.
Some people like.
Yeah.
There's people who like
all types of things.
Jacking off in front of somebody
is one of the milder things
that people like.
Yeah.
It's mild.
You know.
The girls who like that
probably don't shave
under their armpits.
So you know.
You know there's guys
that put diapers on
and want you to fucking
spank them and shit like that.
Yeah.
So there's a lot of weird.
Some people like pain.
Some people like whipped.
We've watched people get whipped and love it every time.
It's a kink.
It's a kink.
It's a kink.
Some guys got a little bit of a kink.
You know, he won a Grammy.
So that was a, that's a huge thing.
I don't see a lot of people going like, wow, I can't even believe who's nominated.
Yeah.
So maybe this is a comeback.
Maybe they're trying to like slowly
let him back in maybe they're going like they're seeing
his ticket sales and then they're seeing
some other people's ticket sales who are
on their networks and they're going like okay we can't
continue to lose money pretending to
care about all these causes because we don't
care. Yeah producers are shaking in their boots
We have factories and shit in other countries we could care less
but we do it because we think that's what
the kids want to hear
But it's not working. Yeah, true TV is calling up all the impractical jokers telling them jerk off in front of woman
Yeah, they might just be going like everyone
Maybe you guys all need to take your dicks out or slap each other because it's the only thing that's gonna bring attention to us
Yeah that you know
Cuz at the end of the day for good or bad people listen to the market for good or bad
So the bad would being like oh my god this slap got us so attention next year
We're gonna have to fucking, someone's going to have to get punched.
Yeah.
And then the year after that it's going to be like, we're going to have to shoot somebody.
And the year after that they're going to have to perform an abortion live.
Yeah.
Because isn't the real story that nobody gave a shit about the Oscars until there was an assault?
Absolutely.
Isn't the real story that it took an assault for anyone to care about the Oscars?
I only tuned in to see if Wilson was going to win an Oscar
But I didn't know he was going to do all that shit
I wouldn't even have known the Oscars was on
Did you know they were on
No and I didn't see any of those movies either
It's like kind of over
No one was going to watch that
So next year there's going to be a gang shooting
At the Oscars
For anyone to care
So maybe that's why they're letting Louis back in the door being like, all right, look,
we don't like what you did.
But people do like your comedy.
Gotta play a little dirty.
Yeah.
So let's see.
Maybe they're doing the thing that we're talking about with trying to cure racism.
They're going like, let's just put a little, let's see how people react if we just give
them a grant.
They probably didn't even listen to the album.
They're like, we just need funny people back
because we're not making
any money off of
whatever we're throwing out
I don't want to put
anyone's names out there
so let's
let's
let's just do a little
let's just try a little
give them a grammy
and then they go like this
it's like when you
it's like when you
say something to a bully
and then you go like
get ready to get hit
you know
the academy in Hollywood
is probably going like
they're probably they're going like this expecting like to get hit you know the academy in Hollywood is probably going like they're probably
they're going like this
expecting like to get hit
by all these feminists
and activists
and then they're just
opening their eye glancing
to see if anyone's there
and you go
is it safe
is this it
maybe we'll go a little more
how about we give them
we give them like a little
a commercial
or like a show
or like an appearance
a late night appearance
see what happens
they're gonna start
making a comeback
they go here go on Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Fallon will fucking giggle at everything you
say.
And then they go like this.
And they go, oh, he's coming.
And then, so they're just waiting.
Maybe they're just little by little trying to see what they can get away with so they
can bring back someone who actually people want to watch.
Yeah.
Who people are asking for.
Yeah.
I mean, Louis Torre's ACL.
Now he's coming back for the next season.
Yeah.
He's coming back.
So, I don't know. It's his ACL. Now he's coming back for the next season. Yeah, he's coming back. So, I don't know.
It's what it is.
Tiger's coming back. It's a year of comebacks.
Comebacks. Tiger's coming back.
Coming in front.
That's where he comes. Yeah, same with Louis.
Yeah, the only thing is Tiger does it
with the help of a Scandinavian
pussy and Louis does it with his own
freckled Mexican hand.
Louberdermed hand.
Yeah. But theydermed hand. Yeah.
But they both like to cum.
Yeah.
In different ways.
So it's the year of the comebacks.
Someone who's not going to be making a comeback.
Tiger's making a comeback.
He's going to be at the Masters.
Louie's making his comeback.
He won a Grammy.
Alex Jones is not going to be making a comeback from his liable suit from the Newtown parents.
It looks like they're just trying to figure out the amount now.
How do you figure out the amount to sue him by?
So what happens is he was found liable in a civil suit for, and I can't say this without laughing,
I can't say this without laughing.
For saying over and over again on his show that the Newtown massacre didn't happen
and that the parents were crisis actors
and the kids didn't exist and they're not dead.
And so apparently a lot of the people who,
some of the towering intellects who watch InfoWars
decided that they would take the law into their own hands
and start trying to contact these parents
and approach these parents,
calling them all types of government shills
and stuff like that.
So they decided to sue.
I think it was like 20 parents or something.
Now, if you don't remember the Newtown massacre,
it's probably because there's been so many mass shootings
since then that you forgot.
Oh, yeah.
But the Newtown massacre was a big one because the kid came in and shot up uh shot up a bunch of babies yeah shot up a bunch
of babies they were like kindergartners or nursery school yes so you can only imagine
what it would be like to be a parent who lost your baby now that i'm a parent and then have some dude
who listens to alex j Jones call your house and call you
a crisis actor
yeah
I would want to go
find Alex Jones
and dunk him
in mayonnaise
mm-hmm
I would want to dunk his ass
in mayonnaise
yeah dunk him
and get all that
Just For Men
out of his beard
yeah I would say
listen you puss
you puss
yeah
you better stop
fucking calling my house
because my baby is gone and I'm upset with you.
Yep.
And what they did was they sued him and they won.
And he's been avoiding his court dates
and he's been fined for not showing up.
But now they're trying to figure out,
I think in August they're going to come up with
an actual monetary number of what he has to pay.
What would you say is a good number? Does he have to pay um what would you say is a good number that's not what does he have
to pay in bitcoin what would really hurt him i don't know if alex jones is really web three i
think you got to go with good old american dollars i don't even think he could pay this fine he
probably can't seventy five thousand dollars yeah i mean he's kind of down on his luck now
he's down on his luck now otherwise a's down on his luck now. Otherwise, a very entertaining guy.
I think he just went a little off the deep end on this one, right?
Way deep.
He went way deep on the Sandy Hook thing.
Nobody ever stopped him and said, hey, look, man, Newtown is like a whole neighborhood.
It's a whole town.
There would have to be a lot of people in on this.
If I just showed up, it's what happens when you're just removed
from something you can it's like a lot of people it would have to be a lot of people in on these
imaginary kids getting shot a whole town like separated from the rest of the world like it's
a world division like no yeah it would have to be like a friend of the family going like
dropping dime being like listen they said little jerry got killed but i'm telling you I saw Little Jerry yesterday at the sandbox
and then like
where are those kids now?
Like he thinks the kids
are still around
but in hiding?
Yeah.
I mean Alex Jones
thinks he's in
The Truman Show.
Yeah.
I mean he really does.
Yeah.
I mean how
did he not just take a second
to think
first of all
why would any
and he goes
I know but they did it.
They did it
and they're gonna take our guns.
They're gonna take all our fucking guns.
And you're going like
alright dude that's really going to an extreme just to take the guns.
Yeah.
But if they were listening to this podcast and we told the government what you got to do if you want to take the guns is kill a bunch of kids.
And then people go, okay, take the guns.
They might have done it.
But then guess what?
That didn't even work.
Nope.
But I'm kind of advocating against what we were advocating for before.
Go hard to get your point across.
So that's what Alex Jones thought they were doing.
Not in this situation.
He thought they were going to do, the whole conspiracy was the government is doing this
to convince people that all the guns should be taken.
Yeah.
Now, none of that happened.
So at that point, Alex should have been like,
maybe I'm wrong.
But that wasn't enough.
Because he was probably getting damn good numbers on his show
by saying they were all crisis actors.
Crisis actors who, I guess, answered an ad backstage
that said, who can play a dead three-year-old?
And probably Vern Troy applied.
Yeah.
Yeah, he applied
and Hezbollah applied.
Yeah.
It's the only small people
I could think of
who look like babies.
Now you let him back on Twitter?
You see,
now this is where
it becomes complicated.
Do you?
Yes.
You let him back on.
Yeah.
Because he only said stuff.
If the Taliban's on Twitter,
he could be on Twitter.
Do you let the Taliban on Twitter?
If the Taliban's on Twitter, do you want preacher curls? Yeah, let the taliban on twitter if the taliban's on twitter do them preacher curls yeah alex jones can be on twitter
too yeah so but should the taliban be on twitter yes you think yes everyone should be on twitter
everybody big pool because it's just talking but what if you start what if a hate group uses twitter
to form and then they march and kill someone then you draw the line there but if you take
yeah keep across that bridge where it goes.
Yeah, you monitor it.
But then let's, we know humans and we know that bridge is going to come because that's
what humans do.
They fuck everything up.
Yeah, that bridge is going to come just like Louie, but you got to monitor it.
You got to make sure that you have the staggered pacing, see it growing.
You obviously, you notice when people grow followers, notice a certain page.
But then now you're monitoring people.
Now you're, now you're interviewing. Yeah, now you're monitoring people. Now you're interviewing.
Yeah, but you're monitoring how an ex-girlfriend will monitor her ex-boyfriend.
You're just taking a peek.
You're just taking a little peek.
You're just taking a little peek.
A little peek, you know?
But then, you know, they're saying, oh, you have the power to say which ones should be
monitored and which not.
Yeah, when it comes to it.
But, like, I can't make that decision right, like, that judgment, you know?
Right.
So you guys are just saying let it all fly. it all fly and let the cards fall where they may just
like you have to eat energy fuel let that shit fly out let it all fly out and then if you know
you get to a little polyp then you got to go to the doctor right you know and then when things
happen deal with it as it comes yes even if that deal with it as it comes means kicking people off
twitter yeah because people who would
Advocate the other side
Would be like
Hey that's kind of what happened
Yeah
We kind of had it free
And then people started doing shit
That incited certain shit
And then it became too crazy
And we can't have that
On our hands
Twitter's a privilege
Once you show me
That you violate that privilege
You get kicked off
But then
Then we're going against
Freedom of speech
Freedom of speech
Yeah but
Unless it incites something
Inciting
Yeah I'm talking about inciting something violent.
Someone's getting killed.
This is that.
You have a hate group forming.
In the realm of that, if you show me that you violate that privilege, you can get kicked off.
Okay.
Besides that-
Shut the fuck up.
So in Donald Trump's case, there's a strong connection that he incited and he keeps saying the election was stolen,
which riles a bunch of people up because they're going oh my
God the government stole an election. Yeah, right and he's showing no proof or of anything. He's just saying this is what I did
So that do you let him tweet that you let him on your platform if that's tweeting that and exciting people
Did he tweet that though? He said that he was fucking tweeting it all over
I thought he said in the press conference like we gotta go take back the everywhere everywhere Every way he said that at the press go yeah the press conference. Oh, he was fucking tweeting it all over the place. I thought he said in the press conference like we got to go take back the... Everywhere. Everywhere?
Well, he said that
at the press conference,
not the press conference,
at the speech.
He gave a speech,
but he also was saying
it constantly on Twitter.
Yeah, in that particular situation,
he said it everywhere
so you can't really
base it down on Twitter.
But if you say it
particularly on Twitter
and Twitter has
a viable control
of what happens,
then take him off.
We should be
the legal counsel to Twitter.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, you, me, and your brother, we go up in D.C., crack a couple heads, you
know?
Yeah.
Take a nice cigar at the end of the night.
It'll be nice.
We'll figure it out.
I think we've figured out everything.
Yeah, and Jesse will be the stenographer, and it'll take him 24 hours to read three
lines.
Absolutely.
So there you have it.
We've solved everything.
We've solved Twitter.
We've solved racism.
And we found a pejorative for white people.
So get your puss ass out of here.
Pussy ass bitch.
You puss ass bitch.
I'm going to say it like Akash Singh.
Puss ass bitch.
So let's check in on some of our newest Patreon members and Patreon sponsors.
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All right.
I want to give a shout out to our newest Patreon members.
Those guys helping us keep the lights on.
Yeah.
Those guys keeping the equipment in place.
Keeping the heat pumping because we're not going to turn it off.
We're not going to turn that thing off.
No, we're not.
So welcome, Flood.
Flood City.
Then we got Jerry Joyner
Sounds like a porn star
What's this guy's name?
Talmadge Reeves
Talmadge Reeves
Sounds like you gotta
Say it with an accent
Talmadge Reeves
Yeah that sounds like
A Division 1
College basketball player
Or a Bond villain
Or a Bond villain
Talmadge Reeves
Yeah
Then we got a piece here
Samida N
Samida N
Samida N
Samida your number
You forgot the rest
Of your last name
Because the last name is Peace.
Yeah. Then we got
Eliana Cervantes.
Que pase mi gente.
Tu Cervantes, por favor. And then we
have John Nolan. Yeah, it's a white
dude that he has a John
Deere lawnmower. Without a
doubt, a guy named John Nolan's got a John Deere.
Yeah. Then we got Tony
Crusel. That sounds like the name of a coach that won a Final Four in 1968.
Tony Crusel's a good coach.
Yeah.
Then we got Janetta Navarra.
Navarra.
Navarra.
Then we got...
She can make a great mole.
She definitely may.
That sounds like a woman who knows how to make a mole.
Yeah.
Then we got Christian Caldor.
I mean, that guy sells fragrances at Macy's.
Without a doubt.
Yeah.
Then we got Jacob Burton. That's a solid name. fragrances at Macy's. Without a doubt. Then we got Jacob Burton.
That's a solid name.
Sam Struck.
That's an even better name.
I like that.
Sam Struck.
Power name.
Power name.
Then we got Finn.
Then we got Bella Deliado.
Deliado.
Deliado.
Then we got Miguel Flores.
Oh, my God.
This is funny. We got a Russian name. Oh, my God. Then this is funny.
We got a Russian name.
Mark Lusnevud.
Mark Lindek.
Lusnevud.
Mark.
There are Nazis in Ukraine, Mark.
We have Mark, last name, currently bombing the Ukrainians.
Then we got Debo's Watermelon is going to come seed you in a different way.
I like it.
Very good.
I like it.
Then we got Liddy Mayne.
Fucking 1930s Hollywood star.
Yeah, Liddy Mayne.
Yeah.
Then we got Drew Mank.
Then we have Aaron Longdays.
I like that.
He's your little son.
Yeah.
Then we got Rusty Shackleford.
How motherfucking does that have any front teeth?
That's like if your dog had a last name, it would be Rusty Shackleford. How motherfucking does that have any front teeth? That's like if your dog had a last name, it would be Rusty Shackleford.
Or a toothless puss.
Puss.
Then we got Andrew LaBelle.
Okay.
Sounds like an R&B singer.
Yeah.
Then we got Paulie Walnuts.
Paulie Walnuts.
Yeah.
Then we got Chuck McBride.
I mean, these names are like character names.
Antoine Johnson, 100% chance.
Yeah, that motherfucker makes one-handed catches in the end zone.
Then we got Maxwell Levine.
He makes one-handed types on his calculator when he's doing your accounting.
Yeah.
Maxwell Levine.
And then we got Paige Cornelius.
Could be a piece.
Yeah. Could be a piece.
Then we got Connor, a Swiss who looks like a Jew, loves 1975 too.
So he loves the band 1975.
Then we got Slick Pockets.
I like it.
That's a good name.
Ramiro Vasquez.
I mean, did Patreon just become legal in Cuba?
What's going on here? Yeah, I mean, what's going on?
We just opened up the border on our Patreon.
Yeah.
We're going to call this Patreon The Dreamers.
La Patron.
Well, I'm going to rename my Patreon to The Dreamers.
Then we got Space Debris Podcast DH3RT.
D-G-T-L-H-R-T.
Yeah.
Space Debris Podcast.
Just got himself a smart plug.
Screwed and Kid.
Yeah.
Then we got Sabine Etwine.
Yeah.
That may be Arabic.
Sabine.
Or Israeli.
Etwine.
Etwine.
Sabine Etwine.
Sabine Etwine.
Then we got an uncut piece, which is good.
That's a good name.
Uncut piece.
Kid circumcised.
Then we got Jason, Gary D, Aaron Gorham, Lauren Lawlerler Picture of her cat
Cade Carter
Matthew Essex
And Posh
Welcome to the Patreon
And guess what
We'll see you next week