Yannis Pappas Hour - Looking Thru the Media’s Phone

Episode Date: May 14, 2022

Yanni is also very proud of Hillary Duff. Her naked airbrushed body looks very brave. James Corden is being deported. Linda Tripp is where cancel culture really started. The media has cheated on us so... now we’re constantly looking through their phone. It’s s long sun shiny day in the fetaverse. Sponsors: Babbelhttps://try.babbel.com/podcast-flags-2021/?bsc=podcast-longdays&btp=default&utm_campaign=2022_usa_podcast_offline_veritoneone_lp&utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=offline&utm_term=podcast-longdays Butcherbox https://www.butcherbox.com/fumes/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=offline&utm_campaign=GROUND_BEEF_FL_2022&utm_term=fumes&utm_content=Join for a weekly extra Longday episode and more bonus content and benefits: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSubscribe to our clips page for podcast highlights https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwThe show goes out every Saturday. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 My special mom love. There's too much of it in the country right now. We need balance. It's my call for balance airs this Wednesday, 10 p.m. on our YouTube channel. This is just going direct to you. First thing I said before you clicked off if you weren't a fan of this show. Gotcha! May 18th, 10 p.m.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Mom Love My Hour Stand-Up Special. Tune in for it. It premieres. And then, of course, it'll be up for free after that. What does that mean? What does it cost you? Well, do you want to get into heaven? If you want to get into heaven, then don't steal. And all it costs you is a million Bitcoin. No, my special is
Starting point is 00:00:51 fungible. No, all you got to do is share it. If you like it, if you don't like it, I don't have to tell you, you don't have to share it. Okay. And please do comment if you don't like it. I love it. I love the criticism. It really makes me a better person. So comment if you can. It doesn't hurt the algorithm either, but share it. That's the number one thing you have to do is share the special mom love. May 18th, Wednesday, May 18th, 10 p.m. premieres on the channel. Now that we got that business out of the way, let's talk about what's the dollars. What's the dollars? What the dollars in this week's news?
Starting point is 00:01:34 Elon Musk, still fucking dominating. Still dominating. If he was a basketball team, maybe the Golden State Warriors when they won 72 or 74 games. I mean, he's staying on top of the news right now. And this could be one of the longest top headlines that goes because, Bubba, we got a new Trump. We got a new Trump and the media loves a new Trump. Is he a white supremacist? Is he a Nazi?
Starting point is 00:02:01 Is he free speech Jesus? Is he dangerous for the future of humanity? Is he wearing too many hats? Oh my God, is he letting Trump out of jail, out of Twitter jail? Who knows what he's doing? We will talk about that. Although, surprisingly, the ACLU and Jack came out and said that they also feel like it was a mistake to take Trump off of Twitter.
Starting point is 00:02:30 Good to hear from Jack now that he's done with his full-time job of growing his beard. You know, we needed one tech guy to look like a sheik. Netflix is fucking tanking. Netflix is fucking tanking. You're tanking, Netflix. Maybe, you know, you should be looking for specials like mine Which are completely awesome I beat the fucking crowd up I'm a Mexican boxer I go in there and I bang on the inside
Starting point is 00:02:50 I don't fuck around It's an hour of material If you can't sit through an hour of material I don't blame you Because a lot of shit's fucking everywhere And all the fucking streaming services and networks They put up shit, shit, shit, shit, shit They don't put it up for the skill, for the expertise
Starting point is 00:03:04 For the people who've been doing it a long time and know what the fuck they're doing. They do it for people who say that they're dying, but they don't. YouTube's also not making its fucking revenue. Sorry. Got worked up there. Sorry, I think I broke my body on that.
Starting point is 00:03:25 YouTube's also losing revenue. They didn't hit their quota. They're supposed to, I think they're supposed to make a certain amount that they steal from content creators. So no big deal. I know a way for you to make it up, YouTube, Google. All you got to do is just steal a little more
Starting point is 00:03:41 because the content creators just end up with whatever you just say is what we get Nobody knows what it is. Nobody knows what percentage it is. Nobody knows why nobody knows why something's limited or full monetization Case in point this one's probably limited monetization right now And we have to do a writ of certiorari to the fucking Supreme Court to prove that we are not the freaking hate group that you say we are or whatever. Pussy Riot, the Pussy Riot head singer, right? The Pussy Riot head singer.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Great musician, by the way. You know, great musician. She stood up to Putin. The whole group stood up to Putin. They were like the Dixie Chicks of Ukraine, okay? When Dixie Chicks stood up to Bush, when the Pussy Riot stood up to Putin. First of all, I thought it was a little more repressive in Russia.
Starting point is 00:04:34 That there was a group called Pussy Riot, and I think they were lesbian anarchists, is pretty fucking progressive. I mean, what is Russia becoming, Portland? Portland? is pretty fucking progressive. I mean, what is Russia becoming, Portland? Anyway, she escaped the country by pretending to be a Grubhub driver.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Who gives a fuck? We won't talk about it in the episode because there's a fucking war going on. Who gives a fuck what the chick from Pussy Riot's doing? She's wearing John Lennon glasses and she likes to get her pussy licked. End of story. She's got no musical talent.
Starting point is 00:05:04 It sounds like you're listening to a fucking garbage disposal. You want to hear Pussy Riot? It sounds like a fork caught in a garbage disposal. That's Pussy Riot. Hillary Clinton is still out there. And she beat the Hillary. But Hillary Duff. It all grows up.
Starting point is 00:05:22 And this is the toughest thing she's had to do. This is the toughest thing she's had to do this is the toughest thing she's had to do since what being a did she have a probably some sort of drug problem when she was a child actor they all go through it Josh Peck probably fucking smashed it in the ass and then she went into a tailspin
Starting point is 00:05:39 started doing some drugs and you know then she got her life together and now she's proud of her body. It's got nothing to do with publicity. And her publicist is saying this is a great way for us to get back in the limelight. The same way the Kardashians released a fucking sex tape. Which is Ray J telling the truth? Did the Kardashian mother broker that deal to make her kids famous because she's a demon?
Starting point is 00:06:02 We'll find out. Meghan Merkle, according to Joe Biden's sister, the less elderly one, at 76, who was his chief advisor or advisor to Obama, she thinks in an interview
Starting point is 00:06:17 with some fucking British channel who nobody gives a shit about, probably the BBC, because do they only have one fucking channel in Britain? All I know is about the fucking BBC in the office, and that's fucking all I know. And Winston Churchill. And fucking David Beckham.
Starting point is 00:06:30 The rest of you can go fuck yourself. Limited monetization, baby! That's what we're going for, Dick Vitale style, baby! It's a type of motherfucking dandy! Um, according to her, Meghan Merkle would make a fine Listen to me correctly A fine presidential Candidate
Starting point is 00:06:51 We've lost our mind This is Yanni And let's fucking find out What the motherfucker does Down as poppers. They're going to do it anyway. They're going to demonetize this anyway. So, you know, we might as well lean into it. You know, it's like Tony Hinchcliffe. Tony Hinchcliffe, they called him a racist because he screamed the C word.
Starting point is 00:07:38 And now he just dresses like one. You got to lean into it a little bit, I guess. You got to lean into it a little bit, I guess. No, limited monetization is actually a synonymous name for this podcast. You're watching the Long Days Podcast or the Limited Monetization Podcast on YouTube. So we cursed a little bit. But here's the deal. That was some of the most fun I've had in an opening in a long time.
Starting point is 00:08:06 So, so be it. Because as me and Jesse discussed via text, very 22, 2022, very 2022 correspondence, me and Jesse have, we text like little fucking girls. It doesn't matter whether you're big or small, famous, infamous, or just anonymous. As long as you're having a good time and proud of who you are and what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:08:25 It's all the same. It's all the same, guys. Don't buy the hype, okay? Hilary Duff's naked. Hilary Duff's naked. Can we pull up? Let's start with Hilary Duff being naked. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Jared Harvin back in the studio. She's proud of herself, she said on this. Well, I'm proud of her this well I'm proud of her body I'm proud of her body why was this hard was this the toughest airbrushing she ever had to go through who's the biggest liest the media Jesse you worked in advertising
Starting point is 00:08:57 is there any way this wasn't airbrushed not a chance she's got a nice little tattoo on her back I think it says I love Giannis she looks great. She looks incredible, dog. That's a lot of airbrushing. There's not one blemish.
Starting point is 00:09:10 I don't see one blemish. Now, can you bring a woman home? Now, this is probably some of the tamest stuff a former child actor has done, is pose naked. Child actors really, they don't. Child actors don't usually make it out. You know? It's tough.
Starting point is 00:09:30 It's like the Navy SEALs. Most don't make it. Most don't make it. So here she is. First of all, she's not really that naked. Okay? It's 2022, baby. I could go see a lady with a penis on the internet.
Starting point is 00:09:42 So looking at some of your butt out of the water and some cleavage ain't gonna do it for me. Unless you come over and hit me in the head and stick something in my ass. She's Cinemax at 11.56pm naked. That's exactly. She is Cinemax on old cable at 11.56 naked. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Well said, my friend. The only thing she's wearing is Ali Wong sunglasses. Yeah. Which is the way you recognize Ali Wong. And Pocahontas' earrings. And Pocahontas' earrings. She looks good. How old is Hilary Duff now? And does she have kids? What's she doing? She's got to be about 35.
Starting point is 00:10:16 I believe she has two kids. She has two kids. She's 35. Now, here's the deal. You want to know something true about me? A lot of people think I'm 60. I'm not. People were saying I was Josh Peck's dad. Me and Josh Peck are not that different in age.
Starting point is 00:10:31 It's only 10 years. It's only 10 years. Or if I lie, eight. Yeah. Depending on what I want to do. It's a 10-year difference, right? So here's the thing about me. I'm not giving off major boomer energy when I say this.
Starting point is 00:10:47 I think I'm giving off more of like, I'm into better things than Hillary Duff was in. I have no idea what Hillary Duff is from. Hillary Duff. I don't know what she's from. Is she from the Amanda Bynes show? There was a whole Disney world I'm not aware of. So Amanda Bynes is Nickelodeon. Hilary Duff was Disney Channel.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Her biggest show was Lizzie McGuire. Cuz, were you only watching Bear Burger because you didn't have the representation on the other side of the screen? What was Disney giving to black kids? Disney was giving
Starting point is 00:11:17 That's So Raven. That's So Raven. Yeah, but then she took the lesbian route at the end of her career. Has Ray J fucked That's So Raven yet? Probably.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Orlando Brown did from that show. The one who went all crazy. Orlando Bloom? Orlando Brown. Fucked Raven. Yeah. That's so Raven. So that was a Disney sitcom with a black girl.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Yes. And then there was also Big Burger or Bell Burger with the fat kid, Kenan Thompson, and then the other kid. The Good Burger. The Good Burger. That's Nickelodeon. That's a movie. Nickelodeon.
Starting point is 00:11:42 Nickelodeon, Disney, same pedophiles too. Okay. Yeah. Now, Kenan went on to's a movie. Nickelodeon, Disney, same pedophiles too. Okay. Yeah. Now, Keenan went on to have a great fucking career. Stayed fat, unlike Josh Peck. Steady. He stayed with it because there was not a hot guy in there. No.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Josh Peck was a Michelangelo fucking block of marble. And inside that fat fucking can't stop feeding his face Jew from the East Coast was a hot piece of tail movie face. Keenan was just funny guy. He looked at himself in the mirror and he said, I got to stay this, cuz. I got to risk my blood pressure to stay funny because there's no leading man in here. There's no Jamie Foxx in there. No. There's a guy who does sketches
Starting point is 00:12:25 and smirks throughout it. Yes. Which is cheating. It's called Jimmy Fallon cheating. He muddles the line between breaking. That's what he does. That's what he does.
Starting point is 00:12:33 And I like the guy. I don't know the guy so I'm lying. I'm just softening it by saying I like the guy. But he does smirk a lot during the day. I used to like the guys
Starting point is 00:12:40 that commit. There was a whole era where they started cheating. You remember? It was like the Jimmy Fallon era where they all just started cracking up and then of course the audience that commit. You know? There was a whole era where they started cheating. You remember? It was like the Jimmy Fallon era. Jimmy Fallon, yeah. Where they all just started cracking up and then of course
Starting point is 00:12:47 the audience cracks up. It's like crowd work clips. We get it. You're talking to the audience. They're excited. Of course they're excited. You're making it about them in a country where everyone's
Starting point is 00:12:56 trying to make it about them. So they get excited. Okay? Let's see what you got to say. Why am I listening to you? Am I listening to you to watch you talk to a woman in the front row it's a great tool when you're in the room but i'm watching you on a fucking screen what are you saying to me have we become so desensitized to shit even our entertainment
Starting point is 00:13:18 now has become fucking fast food we're a fast food nation Has someone wrote a book about that called that? I'm late to that party because that is a book title. Yeah, there was a whole era where they just started cheating. They all started smirking. And Jimmy, that was a Jimmy Fallon era. I just remember every sketch he was in, the kid could not not smile. That's what happens when you drink bourbon. Right. That was, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:43 He's been able to kind of keep, he's been able to, you know, not, I think people know maybe of his drinking. He knows a little bit. A little bit. It's starting to seep through a little bit. Yeah, he's got, as we call it on Long Days, he's got Saudi Arabia's PR. Yeah, cover it up real quick. Yeah, Saudi Arabia's got the best PR in the world.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Come to Saudi Arabia. Covers him up like a tarp. You can take a buggy over the sand dunes. Oh, there's a public execution happening there. Don't look at that. Oh, this woman can't drive over here, but look at the sand dune in the palace. Why am I giving it to the Israeli accent?
Starting point is 00:14:20 Yes, hello, welcome to Israel. Also, a journalist was killed in the West Bank. There was some gunfire happening there. I'm sorry for her. It's very sad, very sad when anyone dies. But right now, we just have bigger, bigger problems like Netflix's stock falling. We can't talk about people losing lives in the West Bank.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Also, isn't the West Bank, isn't the Israel-Palestinian issue a little bit like that friend that you have who just always calls with a problem? You know? When you see that phone number in your phone, you're like, oh, here we go. Let me guess.
Starting point is 00:15:02 You and the girl broke up again? Let me guess. Let me guess. Let me guess. You and the girl broke up again. Let me guess. Let me guess. Let me guess. You're having more drama. You know, it's like the best way to deal with Israel and Palestine is get those toxic people out of your life. I mean, if a fight happens in the West Bank and the media is not there to report it. Does it make a sound? It doesn't. Not over here. Not over here on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. I want to finish the
Starting point is 00:15:32 word, ocean. You know, I just, we don't have, can we squeeze in the West Bank right now? I mean, they're firebombing abortion, people who are pro-abortion, and they're also about to take away abortion right here in Madagascar. What the fuck's going on, dog? I don't know what's going on. I don't even know how to play it. All I know is I got a special coming out that nobody cares about, nobody's asking for.
Starting point is 00:16:01 I feel like the James Corden of specials. Finally, that guy got canceled. What? How much did we have to ignore the show and only watch the car karaoke for him to get the message that he's just not that into you? And why do we need to continue to outsource
Starting point is 00:16:17 to other countries to get comedians? Like, Jared Harvin isn't available. Could you think Jared Harvin could not do a better job at sitting in a car with Lady Gaga and having her sing her own song in the Kia? No, the only thing that James Corden is better at than me. Is hiding he's gay. Hiding he's gay and eating crumpets. And eating crumpets. Kid can eat.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Yes. Yeah. That kid loves himself some blood sausage. The food and the dick. Yes. Yeah. That kid loves himself some blood sausage. Yeah. The food and the dick. Right. Right. Right.
Starting point is 00:16:50 He does like himself some blood sausage. Blood sausage could have always been, it was right there for the taking as a slang for cock. Yeah. It was always right there, blood sausage. That was always right there for that. That might have been the first time someone referred to blood sausage as a cock. And cock is just a better word.
Starting point is 00:17:08 It's just a better word than dick. It rolls off the tongue better, especially if you've got a Boston accent. Yeah, you fucking cock. See what you did there? They put a W in it. There you go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:16 What do you do? Rolls off the tongue. Rolls off the tongue. Let's roll off the tongue. We're making comedy here, people. He quit. He quit. Well, well, hold on, hold hold on you said you forgot to do air quotes you forgot to do is that also why ellen's deciding to right step aside let's see let's see what his ratings were when he decided to quit when he decided to uh
Starting point is 00:17:42 you know god and you know what? I'm hating on the guy. I don't even know him. But does anyone have a sense of humor anymore? It's obviously not personal. I don't know you, James Corden. I'm making comedy. As the great Tim Dillon says, again, I got to do my job.
Starting point is 00:17:58 You know? And you got to say that and pretend like your jowls are full of lobster. Mm-hmm. Have you noticed that Tim Dillon looks a little like John Wayne Gacy, or is that just me? A little bit. I noticed that in the face and also the personality. Tim also talks like he just ate some wasabi and he didn't know it was wasabi. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Yeah. What I got to do is. Yeah, it's hot. He goes up there. Yeah. Everything's got to shut. Yeah. Give me some water.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Yeah. Yeah. This. It goes up there. Yeah. Everything's got to shut. Yeah. Give me some water. Yeah. This place is a fucking dump. I told them, let's do, it's James Corden. Should we sing this? I told them, I told them that morning, I told a few people the day before. Then a few people that have known me for a while. It's really emotional. Is it?
Starting point is 00:18:41 Is it? Is it? It's really emotional, but then it's great. Whoever gets to dictate what they're going to do in this sort of industry, I'm so excited to be out there. I'm so excited to get out there. Yeah, we're really excited to see you in Cats 2. We're really excited to see you.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yeah, we're really excited to see you in musicals, cuz. What the fuck is he talking about? I don't know. It's going to be hard the whole way, Gordon told Variety. And I love that this article was so organic. Variety approached him. There was no publicist that's being paid to make sure it gets out. It's just organic.
Starting point is 00:19:19 These journalists have become PR arms that just respond to calls from publicists because they get a nice little free dinner that's put on the card by the PR company, which is funded by the client, which funds them to take them out to dinner, to contact them, to put my name in the news. Because guess what? James Corden could stop doing his show and nobody would ask why. James Corden could stop doing his show, and nobody would ask why. Nobody would say, wait, wait, wait, why? Why?
Starting point is 00:19:51 James Corden. God, he had an eight-year run. An eight-year run. Who has the higher ratings, Seth Meyers or James Corden? Let's find out between the two who gives a shit. Who's the one who we give a shit about more? Who ranks third in his time slot? Okay, now here's the numbers. This is the numbers they admit to.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Because remember, this is Nielsen ratings. So it's like, the Nielsen ratings, right? They don't get an exact number. They take a sample, I believe. They have some way that they say they take this sample, and by that they can induct out how many people are watching it. But it's like there's a little bit of conjecture in it, right? It's a representation.
Starting point is 00:20:37 So what they're admitting here, at least on, is this credible? Who cares? Is 1.3 viewers per episode. Now, is that 1.3 who stayed for the entire episode? Probably not. So let's slash that in half because the only ones staying in front of the whole episode are people who don't have remote controls yet
Starting point is 00:20:58 and are too fat to get off the chair. So we're talking about Impractical Joker fans. I've been on the cruise. They're large. Can I not make a joke about that? No, you can't. They're large people. Okay, how about this? Americans. People who don't live in cities. No, you can talk about the cruise. They don't care about
Starting point is 00:21:19 the comedy on those cruises, but they care about the nacho cheese. They're big. They're big people. They're big people is what I'm saying. So those are the only people who are tuning in for the whole James Corden. If you're tuning in for the whole James Corden, you need help standing up. You need help getting up to change your channel.
Starting point is 00:21:37 You might have a remote control, but you just left it over there and it's too much of a thing. Or your Parkinson's won't allow you to change the channel. Or if you have parkinson's yes so it's people who are large or have parkinson's yeah yo gutfield is still winning yeah and he's crushing everybody because he just goes up there and talks about how obama's a lizard which is a lot more entertaining than james carden what's his name? James Cardone?
Starting point is 00:22:05 Cardone. Yo, I can't believe Gutfeld. I mean, he's beating Colbert. He's beating them all. He's beating them all. Because guess what? Because the Democratic machine is so in touch with what the people want. You're getting beat by someone who probably says Obama's a lizard.
Starting point is 00:22:24 He's not even a comic, Gutfield, right? He did have that late night thing. Was he a comic? I don't know. Because there's comedians on fucking news channels now. I don't know. But here's my question to you two guys. I have a legit question and to you at home.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Has anyone watched a full, full, I'm talking about intentionally watched a full James Corden episode from beginning to end. Silence. I take your silence as consent. Those three girls who were kidnapped in Cleveland in the basement. Ariel Castro's house. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Were forced. That was part. Because that's the only channel he would leave the TV on. were forced. That was part. Because that's the only channel he would leave the TV on. That was part of the psych ops of Ariel Castro
Starting point is 00:23:11 when he had those three girls trapped in the basement for eight, nine years. He put that show on and he said, would you rather go out there to this world or stay in the basement?
Starting point is 00:23:20 And the girl said, we'd rather stay in the basement. Just please turn it off. By the way, that could only happen in a city like Cleveland, you know, where somebody just has someone in the basement for eight, nine years because me and Jared were just in Cleveland.
Starting point is 00:23:40 All the people have left Cleveland. Yeah. Cleveland looks like a party at like 5 in the morning. We walked the whole city like literally seven miles. We saw the same three people. Yeah, it's really a town. I thought it was the Truman Show. Yeah, it feels like the Truman Show.
Starting point is 00:23:54 So he was able to get away with it so long, Ariel Castro, because the adjacent houses and neighboring houses are vacant. Yeah. There's nobody in there. They're boarded up. It's the only city you can go to and get catfished by a building. You look at the building,
Starting point is 00:24:10 you go, this is the most beautiful building. It's got nice bones. It's not being used anymore. It's like a fusion TV set. There's just the fucking old champs in like a Italian revival building. You know,
Starting point is 00:24:23 and they got the Cleveland Clinic there and LeBron's gone. So what are we looking at right now? Gutfeld's Wikipedia. Yeah, so what does he start as? He's like a journalist. He started as a journalist. He interned at the American Spectator.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Okay, so here's how it goes. This is the trajectory of a journalist. They start out as a journalist, and they go, okay,'s how it goes. This is the trajectory of a journalist. They start out as a journalist and they go, okay, nobody's reading this. People care about the articles more than they do about the writer. How can I make this more about me? I know what to do.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Let's stop telling the truth. People love liars. Look at our most popular presidents, okay? Recently. Obama was very popular. You know, on the left. I think with a lot of moderates, he was popular too to a certain extent. Obama was great at speaking and saying certain things
Starting point is 00:25:26 and also completely carpet bombing the Middle East. I mean, I'm talking about dog. He carpet bombed the Middle East like a kid who's fucking walking in a parade with gas. Carpet bomb. He also talked a really great game on immigration. And I mean, dude,
Starting point is 00:25:47 if you spoke with an accent, he catapulted you over the wall. Even the left used to call him the deporter in chief. Now I'm not putting a judgment on that. I'm not saying whether it was right or wrong. I'm just saying the kid knew how to lie. If you're going to be a good politician, you got to lie.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Nobody can tell the truth. You can't be a fucking president and you need your presidents to lie. You can't have your president go up there and be like, I have a fucking shit day. You can't just do what I do here and go,
Starting point is 00:26:20 I just went to Cleveland and it's a fucking dump. You can't go out there and go, fucking Cleveland. What the fuck's out there and go, fucking Cleveland. What the fuck's going on? Yeah, you can't do what Mrs. Pappas does to you at the end of the day. Scream. And just unload.
Starting point is 00:26:33 You can't tell the truth. You got to smile. You got to shake hands. You got to kiss babies. You got to be political. You got to be Joe Jackson. Okay? You got to be political. You're trying to get TV shows in Hollywood. You can't Joe Jackson. You gotta be political.
Starting point is 00:26:46 You're trying to get TV shows in Hollywood. You can't talk about your coke addiction. Put that suit on. Gel the hair. Dance that dance, baby. Clinton, I did not have sexual relations
Starting point is 00:27:02 with that woman. Which now we know means not only did I have sexual relations with that woman. Which now we know means not only did I have sexual relations with that woman, I rolled my cigar in her fucking kiwi. I went a step further. Mm-hmm. I used her pussy juice as glue. To lubricate the saxophone, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:23 For my cigar. And I came on her dress. Dog, you see, people don't think ahead, man. Let me just tell you. Linda Tripp, or as I like to call her, Tim Dillon in a dress. Linda Tripp, if you don't remember remember if you're a fucking millennial or whatever and you weren't alive
Starting point is 00:27:47 during this time you missed the whole thing what were you born in 2011 do you remember this no Linda Tripp she was the do-gooder
Starting point is 00:27:55 right she was the do-gooder and of course she was the do-gooder she looked the part she was the woman nobody wanted to fuck who looked like a guy
Starting point is 00:28:02 in a dress back when you could say that looks like a guy in a dress back when you could say that looks like a guy in a dress. Okay, there's Linda Tripp. Okay? It looks like a Tim Dillon sketch. Oh. At all times.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Of course, that's going to be the woman who's going to have a problem with her friend, Monica Lewinsky, having sex with the president of the United States, which Monica Lewinsky was thoroughly enjoying because Bill Clinton sounds like a fun fucking hang. He's sticking cigars in your pussy. He's the most powerful. It's intoxicating. You know, of course, she's going to be like, this is bad. He's using his power.
Starting point is 00:28:39 This is where cancel culture really started. Linda Tripp. Now, of course, this is the type of bitch who, because she looks the way she looks is going to rain on everyone's parade and make this into a big thing which if she had any fucking brains at all and knew what this country's about
Starting point is 00:28:57 and what's important, if she had any foresight at all and cared about her bag, what she would have done was taken the fuck, she would have done was taken the fuck she would whoa whoa whoa monica this is bill clinton seaman on your dress let's hold this like an andy warhol because this thing is going to be worth bitcoins baby dude if you put on ebay right now dna certified if none of this ever happened dna
Starting point is 00:29:28 certified by experts bill clinton sperm on an intern he fucks dress how much you think think it could fetch at sotheby's auction comparable to a warhol now you're a fucking finger painter you tell me. Oh, yeah. Would you not frame that dress and put it up? Hell yeah. Especially if you're a Republican and you're just doing it as a troll? Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:29:51 You could get... How much would the Koch brothers pay for that dress to put into their fucking basement when they have their eyes wide shut parties to point to it and say, that's the dress some dumb intern was wearing while Bill Clinton was sticking cigars in our pass pass they're gonna put it
Starting point is 00:30:06 in the Trump presidential library yeah they put it it would cost money now it's evidence in a fucking case and nobody got paid Monica Lewinsky
Starting point is 00:30:15 could have shown that dress to her grandkids and said yeah you think your grand you think your grandmom's not lit I used to fuck
Starting point is 00:30:22 the president of the United States and I gulped down his glue so much i spilled a little bit of my dumb fucking filings basement dress because you don't get paid as an intern you get paid in presidential come let's just you know when we do let's let's make an appeal for full monetization for fun on YouTube after this episode. We'll be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You get paid in presidential cum?
Starting point is 00:30:49 It's offensive? That should be the title. It's very good for you to speak another language. Everyone should learn languages. Babbel's the best at it. I absolutely love Babbel. It's so easy to use when I'm on a plane or I'm dropping the dwa. Let's be honest.
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Starting point is 00:35:06 to claim this order through May 15th. So you got to act now to get two pounds of free ground beef in every order for the life of your membership. Butcherbox.com slash fumes. I bet you back before the press were reporting about that type of shit when JFK was having hooker pool parties
Starting point is 00:35:24 at the White House. I bet you they had, when it was a boys club, not saying it was good, but it definitely was. There was probably some moments where JFK was like, he was interviewing people and be like, okay, so it says here you went to Dalton private school and then you went to occidental college in california um says here you're good at secretarial duties um how good are you at sucking my dick you know this job doesn't pay per se but uh you do get to get paid in presidential come yeah which could be the name of this episode. What are we, Legion of Skanks now?
Starting point is 00:36:08 It's a little dirty. I was just on their podcast. Of course, the title was International Jew. Thank you, Louis J. Gomez, for the three N words you dropped with the ER and the title International Jew. It's always fun to go on that podcast and just take it to a new level
Starting point is 00:36:26 of being shadowbanned. I wonder why the Josh Peck episode is not doing great when the watch time is all the way up. More than it's been in other episodes, but the impressions are down. Maybe it has something to do with the algorithm has identified me
Starting point is 00:36:40 in being in a Legion of Skanks episode. Yeah. God. Who was on the podcast with you? Me, Hitler, and Stalin. Yeah, who's the international Jew? They just name it that because you know what? I don't even remember talking about an international Jew.
Starting point is 00:36:57 It's going to be something like that, you know? You know what? And they're my friends, and it's a funny podcast. You know, all Lewis has to do is not drop the n-word or call the the title the international Jew
Starting point is 00:37:10 and I'd look forward to coming back you know I fuck I like to check in with fucking the top of Jay Oakerson's fingers
Starting point is 00:37:18 yeah it's a nice podcast it's always good to see it's the only podcast sponsored by the Proud Boys yeah um look but here's the only podcast sponsored by the Proud Boys. Look, but here's the thing about Legion of Skanks.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Here's the thing. Are they maybe the most progressive podcast? And I'll explain to you why, what my theory is. They have probably undoubtedly Proud boy fans, right? Probably a few fans who don't have very progressive views on social issues, but they get them to throw up silly hand signs and chant names over and over again. Maybe they're doing good for society by occupying those people
Starting point is 00:38:08 because if they're throwing up fucking Legion of Skanks, dialing Dallas Page hand signs, they're not out there fucking with tiki torches. Yeah, point about that. I mean, isn't it, there's something funny, there's a couple of comedians that get these guys to do this
Starting point is 00:38:23 instead of this yeah and there we go we're demonetized again they're the after-school program for nazis yeah like they're all they all want to do this and lewis is going fuck i don't know this for a fucking diamond dollars paid fucking legion of scotch baby why'd they do this to you yeah international jew i mean they didn't do it for ruffalo no they didn't do that for Gene Garofalo. No, they didn't do it for Gene Garofalo. Do you not think YouTube is going to censor that? The title is International Jew. The title is one of the worst racist tropes in our history,
Starting point is 00:38:59 International Jew. And there it is. And every time I go on there, the guy fucking drops a few ends. And I was like, Lewis, can you just not say, I am one. I'm like, no, you're not.
Starting point is 00:39:11 No, you're not. You're not even Puerto Rican. There's no Puerto Ricans that listen to death metal. Yeah. There's no Puerto Ricans eating a Roscompojo listening to Black Sabbath.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Yeah. But, you know, both his parents died and he is Puerto Rican. Is that enough for the N-word pass? You're half Puerto Rican, half black. You can speak on behalf of both communities. He's dropping the hard E-R.
Starting point is 00:39:33 No, not really. No, you got to drop it with the A. Yeah. You got to drop it with the A. It's a different word. Yeah. Louis, you got to drop it with the A. The A.
Starting point is 00:39:40 Yeah, they don't get the pass anymore. No, you can't do it with the hard E-R. Well, you can't. No, you can't do the hard E-R. You can't do it with the hard ER. No, you can't do the hard ER. You can't do the hard ER. No, the hard ER is a totally different word. If you throw it on fingerless gloves and you're saying it, you're not saying it from inside my community, okay?
Starting point is 00:39:53 You got to drop it with the A. Right. In their defense, it's Lewis. It is Lewis. It's not Jay, it's Lewis. All three of them together don't look good. All three of them together look like they own a ranch where they make all the equestrians wear lingerie.
Starting point is 00:40:08 No. So, yeah, it's two different words. The one with the ER at the end, it's a hurtful slur. It's a hurtful slur. The one with the A at the end is a word that means this guy. It's a guy. It's a reference. It could be anything. It could be anything.
Starting point is 00:40:26 It could be anything. A noun, verb, chorus in a rap song. Yes. Yeah, because it's all over Fat Joe's albums. Yeah, exactly. Because it's a different word. I mean, it's just there's two different words. They're spelled differently.
Starting point is 00:40:42 There's a lot of places in society. They sound the same. You know, the people, the real racist aren't using the one with the A. No. No. But it's pretty funny when they say the ER. Thinking that's going to hurt us. That's really funny.
Starting point is 00:40:57 When I see a video of a white person say it with the ER, I laugh. I die laughing. Because it's like all they got. Yeah. Right? That's the last resort. That's the last resort. That's the last resort. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:08 So, yeah, I don't know. They named it the international Jew. So, I mean, yeah, I mean, we're just going to be we're just going to be shadow banned out of the. And you know what? Look, they're all good guys. That's the funny thing. They're all good guys. But, yeah, I mean, if I didn't know them and I saw that title, I'd be like, okay, I mean, what am I about to listen to?
Starting point is 00:41:31 And then, you know, what's funny is you listen to the episode. It's got nothing to do with that. So that they named it that, I just don't know. I just don't know. It was actually a really fun episode. I had a lot of fun on there. And, you know, it's just what they did,
Starting point is 00:41:46 at this point it's almost funny, that that's what they do, in some ways they're kind of taking the piss, out of the whole thing, and in that way, I'm kind of going like, is it very progressive, I mean if you are occupying the Proud Boys,
Starting point is 00:41:56 with Diamond Dallas Page, Legion of Skank signs, you know, maybe they're doing a service for, you know, humanity, anyway, you know maybe they're doing a service for you know a humanity anyway now our fucking episode just got shadowbanned because i mentioned legion of skanks it was a great episode it was a lot of fun i mean i'd love to be able to hack in there
Starting point is 00:42:18 and change the title of it um I was on another episode once I think he named it to I can't even say it dude I can't even say it on my podcast and he titled it that was the title can you bleep it
Starting point is 00:42:43 it was the title. Can you bleep it? It was the title of the episode. That's a double whammy right there. That has to be bleeped, Jesse. Make a note. It's bleeped. That was the title of the other episode I was on. Why can't they do Not That Gross like they did for Aaron Berg? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:43:01 Aaron Berg's title is Not That Gross. Not That Gross is a lot better for the algorithm than International Jew. Or how about this one, Make Child Cancer Funny. Make Child Cancer Funny. Would you rather that or International Jew? I'd much rather that than International Jew, actually. Because Make Child Cancer Funny, at least you know they're trying to, you know, just International Jew.
Starting point is 00:43:24 If you're scrolling, you're going, oh oh it's nice that youtube has nazis on there i mean that is the number one nazi talking point is that there's an international drew controlling everything which is actually a very very very funny conspiracy theory. That there's just one magical international Jew who's calling shots. That's obviously not true. They would get too much anxiety. They would be
Starting point is 00:43:55 taking on too much, Boobie. I'm taking on way too much, Boobie. Controlling Europe was enough. Imagine having to control America, Africa, all the continents, Australia. Oh, Bubby. I have a heart enough controlling the banks in New York. You have to worry about the climate change.
Starting point is 00:44:11 You don't worry about the climate change. Bubby. Oh, there's also Greenland. I forgot about that. There's a population there. I thought it was mostly ice, but there's actually people there to control. The whole thing's a schnugger-a-dugger. All right.
Starting point is 00:44:33 So I didn't know Joe Biden had a sister, but apparently— I don't think Joe Biden knows he has a sister. Not anymore. I think he may be unaware. Look at me. He has a sister. Not anymore. I think he may be unaware.
Starting point is 00:44:48 But apparently he has a sister, and his sister was apparently nepotism is alive and well in Washington as it is in all industries. I mean, you got this because, you know, we're cousins. And, yeah, I mean, what happened to a meritocracy, you know? What happened? The thing about America is we're losing the meritocracy. I think that is really what is being lost, you know? At some point, you know, we got to get back to the meritocracy in all things, or at least it's never been a meritocracy, right?
Starting point is 00:45:28 But more so than other countries. It's been more. This is the country where you could come and you can create an Apple. You can create a Tesla. You can create a Facebook and you can control elections. This is the country you could come to and make a gazillion dollars with an idea um this is the country you come to and get really good and go to the olympics and kick fucking ass like we do i mean think about it our system is freedom right and we and and they have like government spot like
Starting point is 00:46:00 those other countries in the past that were communist or whatever, fascist, they had like government money, government programs. They raised them from they were one or two. They sought out their talents. That's all they did. And we still kicked their ass. We still kick their ass on people with people who chose to do it because they wanted to, they loved it, et cetera. It's the best system. Freedom, baby. they loved it etc it's the best system freedom baby which is the only thing my mother would repeat over and over again right before uh the memory lights went completely out which is hilarious that was what my mother would repeat over and over and over again in greek which means uh it it means give me freedom or give me death which is basically Patrick Henry,
Starting point is 00:46:46 of course he took it from the Greeks, like everything, baby. You go and you walk around these fucking cities and you see that architecture. Where's that architecture come from? Greece. The Greeks originally everything.
Starting point is 00:46:59 The Romans taking, the first to take the Greeks ideas. And then everybody else taking the Greeks. taking the first to take the Greeks ideas. And then everybody else takes the Greeks. So, Hillary Duff did get naked. But Meghan Merkle, yeah, that's where we were.
Starting point is 00:47:17 So Meghan Merkle, so Joe Biden's sister basically in her interview said that she feels like Meghan Merkle. And of course the press exaggerates it. They're still infected with the same bug they were before Trump, after Trump. It's all based on the internet. The journalism industry did not adapt to the internet age, so now they're selling wolf tickets to get clicks.
Starting point is 00:47:38 Because when you watch the interview, same thing with the Elon Musk story, which we'll get to in a second. When you watch the full context of what he said, even the Trump stuff about rapists and murderers at the border, when you watch the whole clip, it's not as bad as the snippet that they take when you watch the whole clip. Maybe we'll do that now. It's a well-known fact. We don't have to go back and do it. They take these snippets because even in this article, look at the headline. Go up to the headline. The headline is,
Starting point is 00:48:09 Joe Biden's sister endorses Meghan Merkel for president. That is not what happened. I mean, we are in such trouble, man. And if people don't understand that the trouble originates, the ground zero for this trouble is the media. I don't know what to tell you.
Starting point is 00:48:24 And not in the the the trump fake news way because he was often referring to people who were just attacking and being critical of him because he's a malignant narcissist no argument to be had but he does have a point he does have a point the media is really unaccountable to anybody there's nobody like for example i'm the only one right now criticizing this. This should have ramification. This is a lie. This is not what happened. I don't know what outlist this is, but let's go back to the headline. The headline is Joe Biden's sister endorses Meghan Markle for president. Do you know what actually happened? Was tongue in cheek,
Starting point is 00:49:02 the interviewer tongue in cheek asked her, do, tongue in cheek, asked her, do you think Meghan Merkle would make a good presidential candidate? Tongue in cheek. Do you know what tongue in cheek is? It's this podcast. It's not literal. I'm trying to make you laugh. We're being light.
Starting point is 00:49:16 We're having a good time. Tongue in cheek. And she goes, yeah, she's a fucking old bat whose fucking brother is Joe Biden with one of the lowest approval ratings in fucking history. You know? She's a fucking old bat whose fucking brother is Joe Biden with one of the lowest approval ratings in fucking history. You know? She's 76. She's probably got shit in her fucking drawers.
Starting point is 00:49:32 She probably just pissed herself during this. She's wearing the pants. And she asked her this fucking question tongue in cheek. And she goes, oh, yeah. And she responds tongue in cheek. It's wonderful to have women in public. Why am I giving her a British accent? She's going, it's wonderful to have women in public. Why am I giving her a British accent? She's going, it's wonderful to have women.
Starting point is 00:49:46 I should give her an old person accent. It's wonderful to have women in politics. The more women we have, the better. Our democratic system will work better. Point of view, she didn't even really endorse her. She's kind of endorsing the concept of more women. And then tongue-in-cheek, we welcome Meghan to come in and join the Democratic Party. So she never really said it,
Starting point is 00:50:07 and the whole thing's tongue-in-cheek, but now the fucking headlines are ablaze, especially the reactionary right-wing headlines going, Joe Biden, because it's got all the meat for a good right-wing hit piece. Yep. Joe Biden's sister endorses. Imagine being Joe Biden's 76-year-old fucking elderly fucking sister.
Starting point is 00:50:38 You know? Senile. She's 76. Imagine being her and waking up, having your applesauce, opening up the fucking paper because, you know, she still gets it delivered because she still thinks the fucking phone is a confusing thing from the aliens. And she sees this headline and she goes, imagine going, what? And then how do you retract from there?
Starting point is 00:50:59 It's already, the lies already spread three times around the world. And this is a pretty innocuous example and this is a pretty innocuous example this is a pretty innocuous example this same kind of anatomy is done with anything when it can be taken by reporters and used as an emotionally charged headline to drove up to inspire hate from the side that it supports. I mean this isn't even a news
Starting point is 00:51:36 article dude. This shouldn't even be a news article. It's a two minute read. Anyone watching that interview knows that it wasn't a serious answer and it wasn't a serious question. Because nobody in their right mind would say megan merkel would go from c list c list cast member of suits although netflix gave her like 100 million dollars for a podcast or something like that right that's a different that's different for a podcast or something like that, right? That's different. That's different. For a podcast. For a podcast, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Yeah. She's an actor. She went from USA to Network to USA to leader of the USA. You don't want that. That's not a jump. Jared makes a good point. Do actors stop acting when the camera's off? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:52:17 No. Bobby Kelly shot out, do not marry a woman with a headshot. That's the best. Yeah. Or in his case, high blood pressure. So. I mean, if she can get money
Starting point is 00:52:28 for making a podcast that she never makes, meaning, remember we looked at their website, they don't even have any projects on there. Yes,
Starting point is 00:52:35 we fucking ripped that apart in one of our episodes if you want to go back and listen. Dude, anything's possible. Anything is possible in this era.
Starting point is 00:52:44 So who knows? Maybe this thing was set up by the interviewing gun well let's let's throw this out there but if that is true they are so disconnected because she's not popular guys i they even kiss spotify even canceled her deal i think even netflix canceled her deal like they didn't make anything they just took the money yeah i mean i think michelle obama's same thing they canceled it right she'd make a great politician yeah what did they give michelle obama like 40 million they got paid and then they didn't do anything and a queen helene yeah they're just giving out money that's what the entertainment business now is they're just giving out money to people that they think are gonna are famous enough that people are gonna want to listen
Starting point is 00:53:22 they don't even listen to the actual work anymore. They don't listen to what this person can do. The money goes where the attention goes. Yeah. Obama's got a production deal. I mean, because they got a long, long resume of producing entertaining content. Imagine coming out the gate, your first producing job, you get paid over $100 million. That's Tom Brady broadcaster money. He just got paid $375 million for never having been in a booth. That's what all these people are doing now because they finally realized, because of the internet, they have finally realized that they have no talent, that they're the stupid person from their family who couldn't start a business.
Starting point is 00:54:09 And they've fucked their way into these positions as gatekeepers. And they've lost control to independent content creators on the internet. So this is their last desperate Hail Mary to try to make something that works. Going, let's just throw a bunch of money at the Obamas. Let's throw a bunch of money at the royal family because they're famous enough. Maybe people will watch their fucking content. Guess what? They didn't even make it.
Starting point is 00:54:35 They didn't even make any content. They took the money and ran, and good for them. Good for them. I'd rather look at Hilary Duff naked. Absolutely. Now, here's the thing. If you were a fan of Hilary Duff when she was little and you look at that now, is it a little weird or...
Starting point is 00:55:03 It's not weird for me. She's older than me so she's older than you right i'm good yeah now what was hillary duff in again did we even discover the wire lizzie mcguire she was lizzie mcguire yeah so why did they why didn't they just call her hillary duff instead of lizzie mcguire that was the character's name lizzie mcguire is the character's name yeah you don't want people calling you panels all the time i certainly don't and that's certainly the only name the Greeks know me as
Starting point is 00:55:28 yes they know me as that and the Greek guy who told that offensive joke in Cleveland who's the biggest Nickelodeon star
Starting point is 00:55:40 Nickelodeon star of all time Josh Peck my friend Josh Peck no he was on Disney he was Disney who's the biggest Nickelodeon star of all time yes josh peck my friend josh peck no he was on disney he was disney who's the biggest nickelodeon star who's like around now or just thompson yeah keenan keenan probably amanda was up there dude we didn't have children we didn't have you know
Starting point is 00:55:57 we had we had cartoons we didn't have like kids networks like that i don't think anything was surfaced around a kid back then i mean you guys were allowed to smoke on airplanes back then it's very true i don't think they're gonna have a great programming for their children they didn't even really have kids movies yeah like my parents used to drag me to adult movies the only kids movie that was uh their life was star wars and that was barely a kid's movie and that featured incest yeah i mean it was barely a kid's movie and that was the only Can you think of another kid's movie? Like a straight, like, kid's movie geared to kids? No, just like Star Wars and shit.
Starting point is 00:56:31 Star Wars. That's what I just said. Yeah. Yeah. Ariana Grande. She's a big star. Yeah. She started off in Victoria's.
Starting point is 00:56:39 She started on Nickelodeon? Yeah. Miley Cyrus. She's a huge star. And isn't the slime like a little bit of a too much of a Bukkake thing? Like what's going on there, dude? Yeah, a little bit. It's a little weird.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Yeah. And I also love, look, pedophilia is, there's more of it out there than I wanted to know about. Because now I follow a few of these people who are like former traffickers and stuff, who pull up all the articles. You follow former traffickers? On Twitter. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't follow, you know, on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:57:09 I don't follow them like that. You beat them down like Batman or some shit like that. Or either like, they're my leader. They're not my leader. And so there's a lot more out there than anyone's comfortable with, than I ever knew about, that it's a little scary. And obviously what's come to light with the Catholic Church specifically is extremely disturbing. And I love how that just comes in and out of the news. But goddamn Johnny Depp and Amber Heard is in there
Starting point is 00:57:33 forever. I mean, 300,000 children in France were raped by clergy. 300,000. And I think that was only going back to like 20, 30, 40 years. And it just goes in and out of the news. Our priorities are really weird. But I love how the right does kind of make, can make anything into a pedophile conspiracy. The pedophile is the boogeyman for the right, Metaphile is the boogeyman for the right the way the Nazi is the boogeyman for the left. Those are two boogeymen. And they like to tie whatever they can to one of those two things. They're always looking like a crazy person does to make that connection no matter how tenuous it may be.
Starting point is 00:58:23 You know, it's like if you talk to someone on the right, if we were talking about Nickelodeon, they would become like Martin Lawrence from Boomerang. They go like, okay, the game is over when the white ball drives the black ball off the, and Eddie Murphy's go, oh, I see what you're saying, and the green, that's the grad, that's the earth. You need help.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Boomerang, underrated movie. Very underrated. Comedy. You know what the scene I'm talking about? Yeah, the pool table. Everyone becomes that, right? You talk to the right, they go, you see the slime?
Starting point is 00:58:51 They go, you see the slime? Now that's a dog whistle. That's a dog whistle for praying to feel, yeah. That means they're trying to boo cocky on the kids. Which they're probably not. But you could easily draw that. You go, why are they sliming? But it's obviously not, right?
Starting point is 00:59:14 It's green slime, first of all. Yeah. So if that was your cum, it would be very sick cum. You should go to a doctor. Yeah. If your cum is green. But it is a little weird that they slime people. Well, how did that start?
Starting point is 00:59:25 I don't know. You're a kid. I don't know. You just got your driver's license. It wasn't always a thing, you know? It wasn't always a thing, right? No, it was always a thing. When I was growing up, it was always a thing at the Kids' Choice Awards. Everyone would get slimed.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Yeah. Yeah. It's a little weird because they do that. The only other time people get slimed is Bukkake videos and Stephen King's, what's her name? name sissy spacek which got the biggest blood poured on her oh carrie carrie so it's carrie yeah so but they will tie anything they can to a pet and they'll go i mean sometimes the reasoning i mean the pizza the pizza thing is a funny one yeah it was a pizza galaxy imagine being the pizza room imagine being the guy who's just making pizzas there and then dudes show up with our ar-15s
Starting point is 01:00:10 yeah and he's fucking he's like we're going to the basement and the guy's like you can't come to the basement like we know what's going on in here yeah and then they just fucking open the gates and they go down there and there's just like two Mexican dudes mixing dull. You know what's funny, too? The right has the billionaire, the maniacal billionaire. They got Soros, right? They think Soros is. Soros is behind everything.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Yeah, and then the left. And then Bill Gates. And then the left had the Koch brothers. There's always like a billionaire behind all this shit. Behind all this shit. Yeah. On both sides. Both sides. And yeah, these billionaires are either heroes or villains.
Starting point is 01:00:51 It's all narratives. It's all fiction. It's all... The problem is, it's the same thing. The problem is once you get caught lying, that's why it just pays to be honest. Because once you get caught lying, once you why it just pays to be honest. Because like once you get caught lying, once you see something fishy on 9-11, or you see something fishy with the JFK assassination,
Starting point is 01:01:18 you see something fishy with the Gulf of Tonkin, which we know is a, that's an admitted lie. The other ones, you know, there's still PR around it, but we all know something fishy happened on 9-11. Okay. I'm not going to get demonetized and say what, but you know there's still pr around it but we all know something fishy happened on 9-11 okay i'm not gonna get demonetized and say what but you know it's like a little like whoa what's going on here what's going on and there's many reasons why not saying any conspiracy i'm just going like something's being being withheld there's more to delve in same thing with the jfk you're going there's something more to be delved into here. Yeah, yeah. I'm supposed to believe this dude was up in a fucking tower, was able to reload a couple times and move in.
Starting point is 01:01:52 It's like you're going, come on, guy. Come on. And then he gets caught and he goes, I'm a patsy. Who has ever killed, assassinated someone and didn't want credit for it? I'll tell you who. One person. Lee Harvey Oswald. Because every other single person who assassinated somebody wanted credit for it because that's why they did it.
Starting point is 01:02:15 They want fame. They want infamy. You know, and they have some cause behind it. The guy who fucking killed Lincoln, he jumped on the stage, broke his ankle, which is hilarious. How hilarious is that? He fucking broke his ankle when he He jumped on the stage, broke his ankle, which is hilarious. How hilarious is that? He fucking broke his ankle when he jumped out on the stage
Starting point is 01:02:27 and he screamed, right? In Latin, tyranny, like I killed a tyrant or something. And then imagine he just had to run off like Ray Allen in the playoffs
Starting point is 01:02:35 to the fucking locker room with a broken ankle. Somehow he got away and then holed himself up with a broken ankle. He must have had somebody with a horse out there who threw him on there and they ran away.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Fucking the guy who killed John Lennon. Yeah. He said why he did it. He wanted to be known. What was his name? David Forster Chapman. Yep. He said this was to put an end to the 60s.
Starting point is 01:02:59 Right? Didn't Jack Ruby, the guy who killed, what's his face? He had terminal cancer. Yeah. Jack Ruby. Yeah. Oh, that's his face? He had terminal cancer. Yeah, Jack Ruby. Yeah, that's another coincidence. Huh.
Starting point is 01:03:10 Somebody just goes and kills him, and the reason he gave for killing him is a funny one. He goes, I didn't want Jackie Onassis to have to go through the, what was it? I didn't want Jackie Onassis to have, I didn't want Jackie Onassis to, I didn't want Jackie Kennedy. She wasn't Onassis yet. She didn't marry that old guy for money yet. Old Greek guy, shipping guy.
Starting point is 01:03:33 Yeah, the reason was I didn't want her to have to endure something, an investigation, something. That was his reasoning. And you're going like, Jack Ruby, the owner of the club that does mischievous shit. Yeah, who's a mafia tie, who has terminal cancer.
Starting point is 01:03:48 You worry about some random lady. Yeah, after Lee Harvey Oswald says he's a patsy and he's starting to talk. And he even mentioned in one interview, he goes, the man in the office now. Because everyone knows, if you have a brain, that Andrew Johnson fucking killed the Kennedys. I said it. He's the one. He hated the Kennedys. He hated the Kennedys.
Starting point is 01:04:05 He hated them. They had him as vice president as a political match so he could win Texas, but they hated each other. And also people hated the Kennedys because they were Catholic. And back then the Protestants were racist against Catholics. And also Kennedy was fucking everyone's wife and his father was a fucking bootlegger, mobster.
Starting point is 01:04:25 So they hated the Kennedys. Everyone hated the Kennedys. And he was also he just fucked up with Bay of Pigs. They were scared about the communists. They thought JFK couldn't get the job done against Russia. So they fucking, it was a coup d'etat. It was a coup d'etat. It wasn't some
Starting point is 01:04:41 fucking random crazy guy in a tower who happened to also be a Russian, living in Russia for a year. Very suspicious. Barron Trump is tall, but he doesn't hoop. It's a waste of height. Yeah, the reason was that. I mean, we don't have, I'm certain of it.
Starting point is 01:05:00 His reason was he didn't want Jackie Kennedy to have to experience some some type of you know um you know she lived the whole situation something some bullshit and stuff like so it's really it's really only him it's really only uh lee harvey oswald everybody else be signing the bullet like yeah headshot and shit exactly everybody wants their picture taken so once you lie once you lie once you get caught lying once you story doesn't add up it's like when you know someone who lies right once they you know what even if they're telling the truth after that you always question them because they lost the trust it's like when you cheat on your girl and
Starting point is 01:05:42 you get caught you know she keeps looking through your phone and you're going, this bitch is crazy. She keeps looking through your phone. You know why she's looking through your phone, asshole. I'm not saying, you know what I mean? I'm just saying, let's not play stupid. I'm not saying I don't get it. I'm a guy. I get what happened. Unfortunately, you got caught. So now she knows you're a liar. So was she just going to trust you after that? And so that's what's happened.
Starting point is 01:06:09 And that's what it's continued to kind of spiral and spiral, this distrust of the government, distrust of everything. And now the media is another layer of lies getting caught. So even now, if they have an article that's true, even now, if you have a vaccine that's legitimate, you've lost the faith. The people are looking through your phone. You cheated on the people.
Starting point is 01:06:36 It's the boy who cried wolf blitzer. Let's get to some Patreon names. guys look at that a freaking cold mountain spring water right here time to give a nice patreon shout out to a small business freaking cold go to the website the website is freaking cold spring water. That's freaking, you see it right here. No G, freaking cold spring water. Order yourself a case, two cases, three cases to your house so you don't have to have to have plastic in your life anymore. You go with aluminum, much healthier for you. Plastic shrinks your taint. It gets in your body. It's no good. This is a no brainer. If you're drinking water in your house, get rid of the Poland Springs and get freaking cold.
Starting point is 01:07:32 Ah. They also stay really cold for a real long time. And that's why they're freaking cold, because the aluminum keeps them real cold. Similarly, just introduced Paul Verzi to these, and now he's just asking me to bring them over tonight. He had a root beer. He fell in love. Brooklyncannery.com. Now that he sees that there's a soda with such low calories, he's in love.
Starting point is 01:07:58 Brooklyncannery.com. He actually just texted me, bring root beers. actually just texted me bring root beers uh yannis pappas all one word for 15 off your next order of brooklyn cannery at brooklyncannery.com uh these all natural sodas they're good for your gut they're prebiotic and also very low calorie but no chemicals or shit in them all good and they're also delicious so hats off to bro off to Brooklyn Cannery and go get yourself. Deliver them right to your house. That one got Jared good. I can only imagine
Starting point is 01:08:32 Bersie being excited about some food. It's very true. He got that little waddle. He loves it. If you're getting LASIK in the New York area, go to O-C-N-Ynyi.com to see Dr. Nicholas Raguso or call 646-543-9474 and get your LASIK.
Starting point is 01:08:54 Long Shore Coffee. He just sent me a new flavor. I can't wait to try it. Longshorecoffee.com for 15% off your order. Use the promo code FUMES and go get your premium blend single origin coffee based out of Providence, Rhode Island. They send it right to your house, a fresh bag of delicious, absolutely delicious coffee. Longshorecoffee.com. Nate Linder, how you doing, Nate? I know you're watching. We talked. We're going to set up a call.
Starting point is 01:09:26 We're going to call him on the episode during this segment. Hopefully, maybe next week. NateLinder.com to get all your social media needs met. He's going to help Eric. He's helping Eric, our other small business sponsor, from 305PLP.com. That's the guy who's- That's the Miami video producer. Miami video guy who's doing the pornos and shit.
Starting point is 01:09:50 Nice. He's going to help them build a website, market his videography business. Nate is grateful for this opportunity. See, this is what I'm talking about, guys. Small businesses supporting each other. This is a community. So that's great. So 305plp.com has hired Nate Linder
Starting point is 01:10:07 to help them. So go check out that website, whether you're a company trying to acquire leads at a specific cost per lead goal or an e-commerce company trying to get a positive return on your advertising. Nate Linder will help you. He knows what he's doing. natelinder.com So hopefully that works out for our boy at 305 PLP and, you know, with their business.
Starting point is 01:10:38 And then we got one cash checker. One check cashier. One check cashier here for Philly and South Jersey. Chris Minetti. 215-750-3730 for the South Jersey area. You going down to the fucking Jersey Shore this summer? All right, you stole your mom's checkbook. You stole your mom's checkbook, kids?
Starting point is 01:11:03 You don't want to take it to a bank because you don't want to get in trouble? There's one place to go. Who are you going to call? Chris Minetti will cash that fucking check for you. So go check him out. Real old school. No social media at all. Just a fucking phone number.
Starting point is 01:11:18 215-753-730. Gabish? Yeah. I wonder if anyone's just called him. Has anyone called Chris Minetti just to say hello? For the free, it's an organization dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii a place to develop their craft.
Starting point is 01:11:36 They host free shows and post free music by local artists. Check out their website. Once Hawaii opens back up, which it is for live shows. And if you're an artist in Hawaii who wants to get on stage, contact them through their website forthefree.us. All things music, all things Hawaii. Here we go, 305.
Starting point is 01:11:58 305. PLP Media Services. You can email them at info at 305plp.com. They need Nate Linder's help. They just got an info at. Or you can text him at, this is actually funny, 786-458-CASH with a dollar sign for the S. That's 786-548-2274. Check out their Vimeo page, 305PLP. I'm sure they're on all socials. So if you need any
Starting point is 01:12:28 type of videography work for a wedding, for a video, for a low budget porn, if you want to do comedy, whatever it is, you need somebody to shoot, you got a podcast, you want to chat, whatever it is, 305PLP Media Services down there in Miami. Jared Oh and our boy from San Antonio who came to the show, didn't even say hello because I don't say hello to anyone. Exclusiveautoshipping.com. You're moving your car anywhere, go get your free quote for exclusiveautoshipping.com. They'll move your car anywhere in the world. Call them up, exclusiveautoshipping.com.
Starting point is 01:13:03 Our boy, Jared. I want to welcome our newest long haulers to the Fediverse over at patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays for your weekly bonus episode. Also from now on, for the $10 members, you'll be getting the video of the bonus episode. Those are good episodes, man. They're good episodes. So patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays, $5. You get the audio of everything, $10. You get the video of everything. And also from $10 and up, you also get to be a part of the live chat, which will be being instituted next week. We'll be starting the members of the Patreon, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. We'll be able to be a part of the episode. The live chat will now be moving over to Patreon for our subscribers only.
Starting point is 01:13:52 No more Instagram, so come be a part of a long day with us. Welcome Jose Gutierrez, Paul Pescovitz, the dog that bit Whitney. It's a real good one. Amon, Sophia, Scott Singh, Elliot Johnston, Jeff Julian, and Evan Wiles. Welcome to the Fediverse. Then we got Nathaniel Grana and Gene Malave. Then Johnny Antonelli. Yeah. Antonelli Johnny Antonelli? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:26 Antonelli. Antonelli. Johnny Antonelli and Schlump. Thank you, guys. We'll see you next week. It's been a long day.

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