Yannis Pappas Hour - Marines of Gentrification- LongDays with Yannis Pappas - Episode 20

Episode Date: May 16, 2021

This week Yanni gets into the Toxic relationship between Israel & Palestine—don’t invite them out with you to dinner anymore, how American issues are starting to sound a lot like Venezuelan news, how China is our sugar daddy, how Asian porn & western porn differs, Gifts from Canada, how money is America’s drug and an appearances from Maurica & Mr Panos. The gimmick that is long days and what it was like for Yanni to work at Fusion in Miami, is there anything more useless than the United Nations, international law vs. culture, the economy of Trump, did SNL get Trump elected? Andrew Yang’s campaign for NYC is on notice from the squad and comment roulette, daddy. Oh, Yanni also explains the stages of gentrification because It’s long days, daddy.   Fellas, go to https://www.manscaped.com and get 20% off with promo code: FUMES   For an additional bonus episode ever week and more content, click here and support the show: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   The show goes out every Sunday at noon to youtube and audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram! Come join in on the LONG DAY Follow Yannis Pappas   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/   Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas   Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Good evening. This is Yanis Pappas with your breaking news. What a week we're having today. Gaza. We have a new conflict that's broken out between Jews and Palestinians. Everyone is shocked. They don't know where it came from or when it will end. But more importantly, how did this start? How did it start? We can't believe it. Liz Cheney has been excommunicated from the Church of Donald Trump, but she's staying stalwart in her denial of Donald Trump's victory in the 2020 election. Ellen DeGeneres is lying about why her show's ending. She's saying the journey has ended and it's time to move on, but really ratings are in the toilet and she's a major.

Tony Hinchcliffe doing a character piece without saying Lata 14 at the end. There is a shortage of sauces at Chick-fil-A and there is a shortage of gasoline in about seven states. So if you were thinking about driving to get some Chick-fil-A and you thought you were going to have a wet sandwich, forget it.

It's going to be a dry sandwich on an empty fucking tank. Also, Tom Cruise is a hero to the left right now for putting people on the set on notice for broking COVID protocol. This is Long Day. Adelis Was Well everybody Well, everybody, it's Yanni Long Days because the weeks are getting longer and longer. I think we officially are now a third world country and I'm a prophet. If you go back and you watch my half hour on Comedy Central, I think I might've been the first comedian to call it that the American Republic was turning into the Banana Republic with discounts.

And I'm talking about the one that's in Bay Ridge, which is just a discount Bay Ridge. If you go to the Banana Republic on 72nd Street in Bay Ridge, it's almost like the store is owned by Santa Claus. The deals are just like free. They're gifts. You get 20 shirts for $12, and it's just you and a bunch of Russian immigrants in weird sneakers that have BMW logos on their Adidas walking around buying shit.

We are officially a banana republic. Isn't it funny that they named themselves after what would be a shitty country and nobody, like it didn't hurt, it didn't hurt their brand at all. You know what I'm saying? Like when Corona happened, this is how stupid people are. If you want to know, we're talking about the first world country, America, the leader. Okay. When Corona happened and they called it Corona, people stopped buying Corona beers. It actually hurt the sales of Corona because the virus was called Corona. I mean, please, COVID-19, come back. You didn't do a good enough job.

Okay, when I go to bed and the little genie says, Yanni, I'm giving you three wishes. I'm going, please, please, please, another pandemic. And please, please, please make the death of this empire quick. I can't handle the fucking suspense. We're on life support and we have dementia. And we've lost our mind a little bit and need Klonis to stay correct. America needs a prescription of Klonopin to balance out its mental illness at this point. How do I know we're officially a third world country?

There's fucking gas shortages in seven states because we got hacked. Some fucking kid who took a break from playing Call of Duty decided to fuck up the lives of millions of people by doing a ransomware attack, which I will not pretend like I know what it means. But apparently there's some ransom handsome fucking software that a kid could break into. Are we this vulnerable to the Chinese? And by Chinese, I mean CCP. I mean the Communist Party of China. I don't mean what Tony Hinchcliffe was referring to which is ordinary Chinese Americans telling jokes I'm talking about our enemy the CCP they're kind of more like a frenemy

China's more like a frenemy okay we do business with them they make our iPhones but then we're like fuck you I hate you but China I't quit you. China and our relationship is like that toxic relationship you had right before you decided to settle down with someone who's actually good for you. Healthy relationships are like broccoli. They taste horrible, but you put a little garlic on, makes it enjoyable somewhat, okay? Because what you're tasting is the garlic or what you're tasting is the General Tso's sauce. But it's good for you. That's the thing.

Good relationships, you know, don't taste that great, but they're good for you. Bad relationships, they taste like fucking fancy Swedish fish like Jesse gave me in his apartment before. I just want to know what it would like to be fucking i to be from fucking new england and just have to say apartment like that have to just leave the r out you want to come over my apartment yeah my apartment fucking walk around like you you have a stroke when you have to say a certain word apartment you can't say apartment without without without having a stroke.

You can't just have a normal, you know, a normal disposition and visage and go, apartment. It's always like, do you want to come over to my apartment? So that's our relationship with China right now. It's a toxic one and the sex is fucking good, okay? It's a toxic fucking relationship where we're getting what we want out of that sugar daddy making our shit.

But really the only reason that they're in the relationship is because we're the sugar daddy. That's the funny thing. We think we're the sugar daddy and they're the hoe, but China is the sugar daddy and we're the fucking hoe. They make our shit and take our fucking money we forget that part about taking our fucking money and then they fuck us by making our shit and that's the nut that we love when they make our iPhones like oh fucking make my iPhone cheap fuck nobody makes me come like you oh fuck and of course if you watch asian porn she's going because i don't know

i don't know what it is a hundred percent of asian porn they squeal different they do different now if you did a blind test i know people do chicken sandwiches tests between popeyes and chick-fil-a which one's better we'll get to chick-fil-a in a second but if you put a blindfold on you could not tell the difference between a fucking spicy chicken sandwich at popeyes and Chick-fil-A. Which one's better? We'll get to Chick-fil-A in a second. But if you put a blindfold on, you could not tell the difference between a fucking spicy chicken sandwich at Popeyes or a spicy chicken sandwich at Chick-fil-A because they're both delicious, okay? Except before the shortage that we will talk about.

Chick-fil-A's out of sauce. Chick-fil-A's out of sauce. It's a fucking natural tragedy. But if I did a blindfold test with porn and I said which one of these is Asian porn which one of these is North American porn in one second you'd be able to tell the difference 100% of the time on the blind test just audio there's a deaf guy walking around now that only jerks off to squeals and you know what I'm talking about okay now that only jerks off to squeals. And you know what I'm talking about. Okay. Now that's how you do it. Tony Hinchcliffe. There needs to be some truth and funny in there. You can't just go up

there and fucking yell shit. Anyway, Kramer's got a sequel to his reality TV show. Okay. Now, you know what I'm talking about, Jess? Am I wrong? Have you ever watched Asian porn? They make a different noise when they feel good having sex. It's more like a, it's a little more squealy. Okay. But I give them credit because they are an ancient people. And I think that that's the sound you make when you really enjoy it. Have you ever had a good nut when you're jerking off and you just found your face doing something you'd be embarrassed to see in a mirror? Like the good one where you're just like.

That's kind of them just letting it hang out because they're really into it. I think Asian sex, they're really enjoying it. And those are genuine noises. Whereas you know what our porn is like. Our porn is like our point is like this again call back yas daddy yas oh come on daddy show me that cock daddy uh yeah i mean she could totally be fucking scrolling on instagram while she does it in fact it could be below the camera

screen yas daddy that's why i only like to do amateur porn but i always get google corrupt google google has to help me find the amateur porn does anyone only like to do amateur porn, but I always get Google corrupt. Google has to help me find the amateur porn. Does anyone know how to spell amateur? I don't know how to spell definitely. I don't know how to spell amateur. How do you spell amateur? Can we make that a little easy? M-A-M-T-U-R. Amateur. Do you know how to spell amateur? I bet you don't because you're not French. You have to be French to spell amateur. Nobody's ever searched for amateur porn without having to be corrected by Google. Google knows what you like.

But there's a difference. Now we are the fucking sugar daddy. Okay? Of shit. Could be the name of the episode. Because China's our sugar daddy. And we're the whole work in the corner going, yeah, daddy, I got your money, daddy. I just do Marisa here.

Yeah, I got your money. Listen to me, Mr. Wang. I got your fucking money, all right? I was on the corner and I gave you all that money to make me those nice jewelry shits that you're making me. And they're like, we made those jewelry shits. Now give me that money. And they keep getting that money. And guess what they're doing with that money to make me those nice jewelry shits that you're making me and they're like we made those jewelry shits now give me that money and they keep getting that money and guess what they're doing with that money buying up all the cities in the west and give them fucking credit that's it the motherfuckers like to play dance dance revolution so they stepping on every fucking city london over here we got that shit new york over here we got that shit rome over here we got

that shit oh greece is in crisis they need to pay a bucket but we'll buy that we'll buy that basically China's going around and buying up making everything what's the cheap property in what's the cheap property and monopoly in my apartment uh what is it Baltic Greecetic greece was baltic avenue after the financial crisis and china just came in and slapped some monopoly money and said we'll take it from here and the greeks said so they fucking they buying up all of athens they're buying up uh all the greece the russians and chinese but especially the chinese have bought up all their apartment they're completely keeping the real estate market in new york afloat okay that's why it's so expensive here is because of chinese money there's chinese money behind everything we are china's hoe accept it there are pimp we're their hoe and by chinese i mean ccp the country not tony

hinchcliffe's version okay so that's it we're third world country now gas shortages can you believe we and you know what it is when it starts happening people are in denial you know like jake paul's probably still trying to sell some fight dodge coin is still probably going for 14 million and nobody's going hey wait none of this is real people are fucking monetizing their life events on fucking on fucking social media the economy's gone in order to have a successful country you have to have a product you sell out you know we sell bullshit 100% USDA approved bullshit because we get our fucking meat from Argentina we get our potatoes from fucking Ireland I think I'm not sure or Idaho and we don't make it here anymore okay even Tesla's probably made in a factory in

china and then fucking amazon drones it over here pretty soon they're gonna carry tesla's over from china in drone strikes can we drop tesla's on this fucking israeli palestine situation to put out the fire it was always burning since the Israelis and the Palestinians were there. We didn't start the fire. God started it in the Holy Land. Can God please do something? Okay, I'm not going to do anything by giving you my opinion on Palestine and Israel. Here's my opinion, okay? And you can clip it. You can make a clip out of it and say, Yanni is pro or anti, whatever you want. Cause here's my opinion on what is not a powder keg when you offer your opinion. Okay. Nobody gets put on notice when you offer your opinion.

There's only one right answer to what's going on in Israel, Palestine. And here's my opinion. to what's going on in Israel-Palestine. And here's my opinion. We now cut to a message from our sponsors. Here's my opinion. Okay, there it is. So that is the Israel-Palestine nugget of wisdom you wanted from Sir Long Days, Giannis Pappas. I want to get knighted.

I want to get knighted in England. I want to get knighted. I want to get knighted in England. I want to get knighted. I want to be knighted. Can you imagine the Chinese are out there? By Chinese, I mean CCP are out there buying up everything, making everything. They have the biggest growing middle class. They've been vaccinated for years, okay, with their Canal Street fucking vaccine. They don't care, right? They're fucking enjoying themselves eating poodles eating fucking bats having fucking parties in wuhan and we're here having gas shortages getting plastic surgery and some of us still have royal families we don't deserve to be number one anymore the west ain't the best east i don't even i'm not even going to a doctor anymore because i'm going to go get fucking i'm getting acupuncture my heart surgery i'm gonna you think

i'm gonna fly to canada where they have the best heart surgeons sometimes ironically because you know if you listen to the right their health system is a mess which there's truth too there's nuggets of truth to everything but also some of the best heart surgeons are in canada in fact uh one of the most revolutionary heart doctors is from canada so is the psychiatrist who invented the psychopath test so they're giving us a lot of good don't forget about shania twain nobody ever called her on that bullshit okay she's sitting around here going hi my name's Shana Twain I'm a country singer it's like bitch you're Canadian you are Canadian you're full of shit maybe that's where it all started where people are pretending and they're my brand I gotta worry about my brand what they're saying when people say they got a brand what that means is you are full of shit you're full of shit

you're a fucking liar and the money won't help you when you kill yourself from a pill overdose because the things you had to do to sponsor your brand made you die inside i mean thank god for this era. One person you won't hear complaining about this era is a guy named Giannis, another last name like Pappas. And not because I think I'm better than anyone, but because this is the only way

I could not be back out on the street. I mean, every fucking industry job I've had, Fusion, Two Point Lee, I mean, even when I did the half hour at Comedy Central or any show I've been on, I always say some shit where they're like, we can't, even in my half hour, I did that Boston joke. They were like, we got to cut that out. I mean, we're filming it in Boston. I was like, yeah, but that's why we should do it. We should shit on Boston because we're in Boston. And you know, at that point, the industry had already started

doing that, like, you know, that thing that clubs do right before they close, try to guilt you into watching. No, I just don't want to offend anyone. Do you know what nightclubs do right before they close in the city? I know this from working at a nightclub. And this is how I know the entertainment industry as it used to be is over. That's why it's funny when you hear Ellen going like, you know, I just got tired of doing my show. I'm like, you know who else got tired of watching your show? That's a coincidence. Ellen, that is a great, what you call maybe a serendipitous coincidence because I know someone who works

at your show who said you were just an unbearable. And also you were getting under a million viewers. So basically, your viewership with the budget you had, which is an old school budget of millions of dollars, and that's just your fucking salary, you greedy pig, was getting less than a Burt Kreischer story about his family eating dinner. So that's the truth. That's the reality. It's hard for a lot of people to swallow, but Bert Kreischer could wake up in the morning and say, good morning, everybody. I just had a bud for breakfast. And he would get more views than Ellen DeGeneres would

dancing horribly and being a to her staff behind the scenes. I'm not saying Ellen's a bad person. I'm saying, please stop expecting your stars to be good people. In order to make it in entertainment business, you have to be a cutthroat asshole. These people are some of the worst people I've ever met in my entire life, myself included. I'm a horrible human being, okay? I don't do shit. I was a good person for a couple of years when I did social work the rest of me has just been difficult to work with the negative so negative not funny at all i'm just negative and unbearable because i'm principled i have principles we have philotimo with greeks the problem with being the greeks is we have to work with other Greeks so they understand that the pride of the Greek means more money because the American people they're like it's like the cocaine they like

they can't help themselves Americans they say hey we need you to kill your mommy but we make it into difficult and the American goes okay give me the money I can't help it okay we need you to act like Και ο Αμερικανός λέει, εντάξει, δώσε μου το χρήμα, δεν μπορώ να το βοηθήσω. Εντάξει, χρειαζόμαστε να κάνουμε αυτό και να πούμε αυτό. Χρειαζόμαστε να πούμε ότι πιστεύεις σε τρομερές πράγματα, αλλά δώσαμε σου το χρήμα. Και ο Αμερικανός λέει, ναι, βάζε τα στρίγματα εδώ. Είμαι ο Ισσυκ για εσένα. Ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισσυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισυκ, ποιος είναι ο Ισυκ, ποιος είναι What's his name Weinstein? What's the Jews name who made Isaac? Rubame. Rubame! He put strings! Bam, bam, bam! Never be a fan for you! This whole entertainment industry people they don't have Philotimo! They don't have Greek spirit! They don't have heart!

They have cocaine addiction to money! And the problems come with money! So good luck because Prince had money, Michael Jackson had money, John S. Joplin had money, she had money. Also who had money? Heath Ledger had money. Heath Ledger had a lot of money. So good luck doing it for the money. Good. The Chinese, okay, the Chinese, they're eating raw fish, and the Chinese, and they figured out, oh, the Achilles heel, Greek word, the Achilles heel, okay? God be bright, I heard his Achilles. This is Greek, this is Greek word.

The basketball player Kevin Durant heard his Achilles. Everything is a Greek word, The basketball player Kevin Durant hurt his Achilles. Everything is a Greek world. Because we're wise people. Nobody's conquering Greece. Nobody's conquering Greece. The Muslims tried to come and conquer Greece. And you know what happened? We're going to do a bonus.

We're going to do a little bonus here, just going to add, because we have the live chat here. Yanni, take your shirt off from Blue Kitty and the Bobbycast Jan and take your shirt off I have a document from a Greek general who's talking to the

Turks where he says I'm going to put it on but I can't do it here because we have the live chat but the CCP they figured out Americans lack money so how we have the live chat but the ccp they figured out americans lack money so how we be the marcos with their own love addiction of money and so they did it as soon as richard nixon said hey baby you're communist but with france because you have have labor laws so you make a Chinese child work and build my product and making all the plastic that goes in 99 cent store in

Syracuse New York for nothing while the government taking all the money keeping the money giving it to the people buy this buy this buy this we got all the American money we got all the money where is all money? The reason why Americans is buying imaginary money, the Dogecoin, is because China has all the real money. China has all the real money. Hats off to you, China. Oh, what I should have said about you. I am very proud to announce our first sponsor on this show. I wouldn't have it any other way because I am not only an advocate for this company, I'm also a client. I use this product. Are you kidding me? They sent me the free stuff and I went right to work on my piece. My glue gun has never looked so handsome and I've also developed a

skill. I'm somewhat of a glue gun barber right now. I mean, if you want to mow down your fumes and the fumes always accumulate in that area, guys, it's a new day. Lawn Mower 4.0 is the absolute buzzer to use. Brought to you by the one and only, you know it, Manscaped. You go to manscaped.com and you get 20% off. Okay, there's only 100% in a price. You slice off 20, it's only 80% you're paying because you are a fan of long days. The promo code is none other than Fumes. The promo code is none other than Fumes. That's it. F-U-M-E-S.

Promo code Fumes. Go get your Lawn Mower 4.0. Get all the Manscaped products you want. I don't know what kind of situation you got going on down there, guys. Maybe you were on a hunger strike. Maybe your certain culture doesn't allow you to mow. And now you want to mow. Clean up the glue gun with Manscaped.

Do it for me. Do it for your girls. Do it for the females, really. You want to be a feminist? Stop walking around with fumare. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code FUMES at Manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at Manscaped.com use the code fumes unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with manscaped portugal has officially canceled the europe cut 2004 why is that comment roulette where i look down whatever i see i read yanni is so greek he shits

feta cheese so thank you for that one uh kiri said that he will have to get a little while and then he will have his family coming to the office can you make it make sense okay if you're going to get a chance to be live on american idol with yanni, while we're in the stream chat. This is such a gimmick, isn't it? Watch along while Yanni goes wild. I would do the commercial like this. Hey, this is Giannis Pappas. This is what it would be. This is a TV commercial, right? Feigned enthusiasm because I used to do it too. If you watch my old AOL two-point leads or fusions, what's up, everybody? Welcome back to Fusion Live. My name is Giannis Pappas. That's my co-host, Mariana Atencio and Pedro Ranjani. He's famous in Brazil, but his English is choppy. everybody welcome back to fusion live my name is janice pappas that's my co-host mariana attention

and pedro i'm johnny he's famous in brazil but his english is choppy anyway we're trying to target millennials here and uh this whole network's gonna be a failure because somebody's getting more views on their phone but this whole thing we just bought an airplane hanger and turned it into a studio like it was 2003 this thing's about to to go bust, but boy is the Hispanic pussy walk walking around from Univision hot to look at. That was the best part of that fusion job. We shared the building with Univision.

And I mean, even like, even like the 60-year-old grandmas in Miami, they still like, you could be from Columbia at 60 years old, fake titties, fucking fake ass, and still walking like that. Walking like that. Holding their baby like that. With a

bottle like that. Still getting checked out like that. Hey, what's up? This is Giannis Pappas from the podcast, Gianni Long Days. We're a family-friendly, sponsor-friendly podcast, and we want you to know, we go uncut.

We get right to the truth. I'll give you the left and right perspective of everything. I will make you feel American again because the goal of this show is to unify us as a country because we are on the rise again. And thank God for Kamala Harris and also Liz Cheney. You guys are great, man. Can't we just get together and have a good

time? My name is Giannis Pappas, man. I want you to tune in live while you watch my podcast. You can post your comments. Maybe you'll get on air. How crazy is that? So watch my podcast brought to you by Cheerios. This is a little gimmick, huh? This is a little, I'm a little, I'm a gimmicky guy. Hey, guess what? You get to watch Long Days while we're taping. That's a gimmick. I don't care if you're here.

I barely look down. What do I do? I glance down twice to see Giannis is a block of feta cheese or his left eye is Palestine, his right eye is Israel, and we need a UN line of demarcation between the two can't the united is there anything more useless than the united nations yes i have a pimple on the side of my head and i was trying to hide it with the glasses but i did get my eyebrows threaded so i'm fucking sexy right now son y'all hurt what is the role of the united nations jesse scaturo at jesse scaturo all one word on instagram the only person who doesn't want to get plugged on the planet

how funny is that there's one person left on the planet who does not want you to follow him if he follows you if you follow him he'll go yeah this guy yeah, I got a few followers. Maybe, you know. I don't care. Come if you want or come don't. I don't care. Now, what was I saying? Yes. The United Nations. Don't you feel that like they're kind of like a referee in a WWE wrestling match?

All right. Their whole purpose of the United Nations, which grew out of Woodrow Wilson's, Woodrow Wilson. Woodrow Wilson. Because do you think I got early dementia or a brain tumor or just like I just try to talk too fast? Woodrow Wilson. Woodrow Wilson's League of Nations, okay?

The League of Nations and then the United Nations was born out of the nuclear era when, you know, what you guys would call a 1%. When a 1%... When the 1% people internationally realize, oh, fuck, we have weapons that can destroy us all. Now it's in everyone's interest that we don't go to war because of mutually assured destruction, nuclear fallout. You know, if a nuclear war happens, we'll all die

because all the dust will get kicked up and it'll block the sun and we'll go the way of the dinosaurs. Can't wait for that. What I like to call lawyer, a human rights lawyer, international. She authored a seminal piece on the international rights of children for the United Nations in the 80s. It's called Law and Status of the Child. Google that shit. Yanni comes from fucking smart genes.

But the thing about international law is everyone's got culture. So when you say, hey, you can't cut the clit off of that young girl because some fucking invisible man in a book told you to they go that's my culture and you just go okay i can't i don't want to be racist i don't want to say one culture is better than the other because they're all equal all cultures are are equal. All cultures are fucking equal. So don't with your fucking white ways come in and tell anyone

how to treat each other. Because you're a genius. You're a genius. So international law doesn't work because of culture. And you can't use force to stop them from doing that because then everyone gets the protest signs and they say, stay out of no americans go to war you know no war for oil so everyone's fucking handcuffed everyone's handcuffed to lies because lies are just easier um everyone's handcuffed to activism because activism's easier it's just easier to post a slogan and say you're pro-Palestine

or pro-Israel than it is to really learn about the nuances of the problem, the history of the problem, and how to get a real world compromise, which will be hard because of culture. You may have to use some force to just kill some cultural shit. That's bad. You can't do that. So what can you do except watch it burn and eat some popcorn that's about it I recommend a little butter on your popcorn don't butter it too much because then you get overwhelmed by the butter and you don't enjoy the circus the burning circus tent as much the United Nations didn't work okay it didn't work and this is one thing where you go you know trump had some ground to stand up he's going this is a joke you know it's like i'm gonna listen to fucking somalia on what

they think america should do in an ideal world yes but we don't live in an ideal world so the united nations is basically just a prop in a rigged game and And the analogy I can think of is the United Nations is the referee in a WWE match. Whenever a country comes and drops an elbow or someone runs in from backstage and helps Triple H, you know, put a smash elbow on the rock and the ref goes over there and goes,

that's no-no. That's all the United Nations does. That's no-no. And they're usually going, America, that's no-no. America, that's no-no. Even's all the united nations does because that's no no and they're usually going america that's no no america that's no no even though we're like the biggest funder of that fucking fraud of an organization that didn't work it's an and that just shows you how hard idealism is because it was founded on idealism it was also founded on a very real practical self-interested uh rationale like hey man we need self-preservation but good luck telling people's cultures that good luck telling people who identify as right wing or left wing or

socialist or communist or libertarian good luck telling them anything that doesn't toe their party line because inferior intellectual people love prefabricated answers to questions. It makes them feel smart. They love a prefabricated answer and they tow the party line. This is what I believe because I am this. That's what insecure people love. Pre-fabricated positions and points. So here we are in this mess. Trying to unite the world while the world is in chaos. The organization that's supposed to keep peace between the countries is a mere prop. A mere prop in, what's his name, the head of the WWE?

Alzheimer's, Yanni Biden's. What's his name? The WWE. Oh, Vince McMahon. A mere prop in Vince McMahon's game. How funny would that be? You ever see that Orson Welles where he's doing the commercial, he's drunk,

and he's just like, you gotta drink my, he's like, what's the drunk and he's just like you gotta drink my it's like what's the line what's the line it's like watching John Mulaney when he was high on cocaine during his Seth Meyers interview the golden boy loves coke ah the duality of man huh hey how's it going I'm John Mulaney I'm buttoned up and in a suit and I'm from the 50s, she. And I tell my jokes like that. You got a woman over here, a man over here. We're not gonna curse.

We don't curse on mainstream TV. I'm gonna do a line when the cameras are off. Just divorced his wife. Rest in peace. Rest in peace to John Mulaney and his wife's marriage. He came out of rehab, and she's upset about the divorce.

This is national news. You know, she's upset. She's like, she got kind of hoodwinked by it, but he's asking her for a divorce because I guess while he got sober, he realized that he was only into trans women. And that's why he was doing coke. He was like, you know what?

I'm doing coke to try to convince myself that I want a woman with a vagina. But really what I like is a woman with what they call a little something extra. Of course, I made that up for comedic purposes. The word is, I think he divorced her because he found out he was full gay. Because as you know, the research shows straight guys like trans porn. Go figure that. And also I told you all women like lesbian porn. Nobody is. You are. Part of who you are is what turned you on and what turned you on, let's be honest, is hilarious. It's very funny. Nobody really shares what really turns them on because it's hilarious, but we should. Everyone should be open.

You should be open with your partner. Sex is only just a piece of a relationship. Whatever your kinks are, you can bring to the love you have with that person. Keep it going. Or not, because everything gets tritenald. Just like humanity. We've done it, huh? We're at the finish line.

There's cocaine and sushi everywhere. We did it. How much farther do you want to go? You can buy sushi and a Rite Aid whenever you want. You can get raw fish like a Scandinavian prince just by walking into a CVS and getting Exlax. First thing I stole as a kid was Exlax from a Neoguard's. Kiri said that you said you have the time and he will, and he said he was going to go

through. You just texted the same fucking thing again. I mean, what is that? The fig and the pig all day. I think we talked about that. Fans thought a funny name for a podcast between me and Tim Dillon would be the fig and the pig. Here's the deal. Tim Dillon's too rich to talk to me at this point um I have to go through a butler for him to respond um okay it gets a little weird that's you know what's funny you know what's funny is like when you have friends who are that much richer they never come to your house anymore I could never go hey Timmy you want to come to my little shack up in the woods. We'll have a fire and a cute little night where we'll cook pasta. He'll go, what are you crazy? What are you fucking crazy? He goes, get on my jet. We're going to Nobu tomorrow morning. We're going to Nobu in Japan. We're going to Nobu in Nobu's

house. We're going to go to the chef of noble's kitchen he's gonna make a sushi what are you crazy i'm flying in to la tomorrow on a private car and i got the chef and noble right now on my plane so come on to my house You ever notice that? Whoever's richer, that's the house you hang out in because nobody wants to go backwards in lifestyle. Timmy won't be caught dead in this apartment that I bought very cheap in Bay Ridge that I turned into a studio. If he's ever going to be in my podcast,

he's going to be like, can you, is it possible to at least get SNL studio for the day? Not for their show. I mean, that's a tragedy, but for the podcast. And I'll say, I'll look into it. And you know what? We might be able to rent it out soon

because I don't even think the Elon Musk episode brought the groove back. You know, our entertainment is entering the third world of the entertainment when your hosts are flamboyant businessmen can you can you imagine in the 80s when the cast the snl everyone was tuning in for the cast now people turn in to see whatever fucking sideshow host they got oh we got fucking grimes after an anxiety attack and elon Musk, whatever fucking controversy they can stir up.

We got Trump on. Ooh, people hate it. People love it. The ones that hate it get really upset, but they talk about it. The opposite of love is not hate. It's apathy. So if you can get people to hate you, you're marketing. You're marketing. But on the real though, I give SNL credit that they've survived this long into an era where they are antiquated. I mean, that is a scrappy dude, Lorne Michaels, who has figured out a way to even survive during this era.

And once Trump got elected, and nobody's saying the conspiracy that maybe Lorne Michaels was behind getting Trump elected. Nobody's behind that conspiracy because he's Canadian and doesn't have a right to vote. He knew what's best for his show. God, can you pull up the ratings for CNN and SNL post Trump?

God, it's bad. Even I used to watch for the Trump hate. I can't, I mean, what are they going to do? They can't vote on, they can't hate on Kamala. You can't say anything bad about Kamala because that's a hate crime. And Joe Biden, I mean, that's elder abuse. So Trump, because he was such a vivacious lying asshole, was a prime target. And the horrible thing about him is he was right. Now he has, he has the party.

Are we a third world country? There is a split in the Republican party and they just voted out Liz Cheney because Liz Cheney said that she believes Donald Trump didn't win the election. So that's where we're at. Actual representatives in our government are sticking by this conspiracy theory, which, you know, I'm open to any theory if there's good evidence to it.

There's no evidence beyond Donald Trump saying it, which, by the way, was the same thing he said when he ran against Hillary, right? When he ran against Hillary and he said, if I lose,

if I lose, this election is rigged. And then he won and he went, okay, it's not rigged. But then on the flip side that he won, had Hillary going, this is illegitimate. Theussians intervened so be careful there's an old scene in uh man for all seasons man for all seasons story of sir thomas moore where he goes you gotta do he goes okay and when every law in england is torn down and the devil turns back on me, would you be able to stand in the winds that blow? Google it. It's one of the most powerful scenes in any performance, in any written play, fiction, whatever you want to say. What he's basically saying is you have to stay righteous. You have to stick to the principles. In chasing evil, you cannot be evil yourself you want to point out a liar

you can't lie to catch a liar because as soon as you lie to catch the liar you've become a liar and made quote-unquote the devil stronger so Hillary and all this gang that was talking about how the Russians did this that and the other thing to help him get elected. But more importantly, because they did, they did interfere with elections. But supposedly, the research shows that it was to sow discord, which is what we've been doing as a country for 100 years. So they were sowing discord. I mean, of course, Putin preferred Trump because Hillary just goes, he came, we saw, we died.

I mean, the girl's looking to kill people. I mean, she's fucking got an itchy trigger finger. So of course, he preferred Trump as every country has their preference. And he tried to do something about it like we do too when we have our preference. But, you know, once you start calling the guy an agent and a Russian spy and you don't have proof for any of that shit and these bullshit documentary dossier, the dossier where he pissed on hookers and they're using it, although I believe it, show me evidence. Although if you're going to think of a lie, that's a good one. Because if there is one president who liked to get peed on, it's going to be Donny T. He's going to be Donny.

The other ones like to get beat up. I mean, Jimmy Carter likes to get a dildo put in his butt. All the other presidents, I think, like to get pegged. The other ones like to get beat up. You know what I mean? Jimmy Carter likes to get, you know, a dildo put in his butt. All the other presidents, I think, like to get pegged because every powerful man likes to get balanced out. But Donnie T likes to get peed on. He likes to get humiliated because that's the way his dad used to yell at him when he came with another bankruptcy to his house.

Dad, I'm sorry. I bankrupted another business. Could you bail me out? Do you know that he's a failure without his dad? That was actually a great article in the New York Times about how his dad absolutely chose him to be the successor. His dad was an absolute beast in business. And Donald Trump went bankrupt and his dad bailed him out constantly. So he's not even that great of a businessman at all. I would go further.

I'd say he's a horrible businessman because without his dad and his dad didn't give him a million bucks. His dad didn't go here, son, here's a million bucks, which is like 10 bucks in their world. Go start a business. His dad said, I got you. All that is mine is yours. And when he failed, his dad would bail him out. Okay. That's the truth. That's the truth. people who love trump have to also hear the truth credit to christian finnegan he had a great joke about donald trump at some point he goes for new yorkers he was like the naked cowboy he was like a fixture on page six or whatever it's called and he was just like a rich guy that like pretended to be like a cartoon version of a rich guy, you know?

Just like gold house, gold toilet, gold hair. You know what I mean? He'd be like hanging out with Russell Simmons. I mean, that he became president is kind of like the naked cowboy. I mean, you know, the guy was in a WWE match. I mean, he was in Home Alone going, he went that way.

I mean, you never think that that guy's going to be president of the United States, but the circus has begun. Andrew Yang supports Israel. Or should I say, let me phrase that differently. Andrew Yang is running for mayor of New York City. Those two are pretty synonymous, right? That's another way you can phrase it. those two are pretty synonymous right that's another way you can phrase it um does andrew yang support israel i will answer that question by going andrew yang is running for mayor of new york city so he did a full-on tweet supporting israel caught a lot of backlash from the squad activate Charlie's Angels fucking form fucking transformer and put you on notice okay ASD on the

bottom Talib over here then we got fucking Ilhan Omar over here and then the one whose fucking name I can never remember Rashad or whatever form activate on notice robot on notice Andrew Yang but But be careful. Respect Asian lives.

Respect Asian lives. So, when you criticize Andrew Yang for supporting Israel and Israel's apartheid, make sure you respect Asian lives when you do it. Because Andrew Yang is Asian. And so I'm going to put you on notice for putting him on notice. I'm putting you on notice for putting him on notice

because he's Asian. So I'm firing my unnoticed gun back onto you, squad transformer. And our beams meet in the middle and then we fucking unnoticed dance. I'm writing cartoons. That'd be a great, would that be a great cartoon the squad and they're like the legion of uh voltron or

the superheroes and they fucking team up you know what i mean and they have all superpowers like you know aoc's tits shoot out like on notice race i knew this i knew this i knew this i knew this and then rashid tali have you ever seen her at that protest where they got footage of her like getting kicked out of the protest and her and her have you noticed the whole squad has big titties all four of them got nice titties and helan omar she just knows how to like seduce your brother because she seduced her own she didn't she married him for his papers, supposedly. But Ilana Omer just knows how to dance. Did you ever see her dancing at the, Ilana Omer was dancing at the Pride Parade.

So she fucking dances and Unnoticed gets fucking, Unnoticed vibe just gets thrown out and people get caught in her Unnoticed spider web. And they're like, fucking Ilana Omer. She's like the spider and she shoots Unnoticed. Unnoticed, fucking, I'm in fucking Ilana Omer's spider web of Unnoticed. And then what's the other one?

Ayanna Pressley or Restley. They all got big tits. AOC is a pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Peace. Chick-fil-A is out of sauce. What's more of a tragedy? That seven states are out of gas or Chick-fil-A's out of sauce. What's more of a tragedy? That seven states are out of gas or Chick-fil-A's out of sauce?

I had Chick-fil-A yesterday and I thought they were a little skimpy with the sauce. They gave me one ketchup, one Chick-fil-A sauce and one side of homophobia. So I threw the homophobia sauce all over it. And I ate that fucking sandwich. And the sandwich went like this. Blue lives matter when I ate it. Why doesn't, if you know, be funny, what, why don't, why don't the Chick-fil-A people just wear name tags that

say blue lives matter. My name is Paul. Or if you're gay, go to McDonald's. Just be honest, Chick-fil-A. You don't like the gays, and people who don't like the gays usually are gay, because who the fuck is funner than gays? Also, who is actively doing something to control the fucking population of pests that we are than gays? They are the most eco-friendly fucking sexuality

on the planet. Let them carpet munch. Let them pole sniff. Let them do it. They're fucking fun. They create nice shit. They're fucking, I'll tell you what, if the gays move into a neighborhood, son, buy a house there. Because you know how it goes.

This is the progression of gentrification. It starts with the lesbians. They're is the progression of gentrification. It starts with the lesbians. They're the marines of gentrification. They're the first in. Those fucking burly bitches go in. They start fucking remodeling the brownstones, open a bar with a flag there. You know, crackheads try to get in.

They fight them off with baseball bats. Some girl named bertha with a sleeveless shirt and a tattoo that says don't fuck with me i know jujitsu and they the marines and then and then comes the young families that don't have money the dreamers i call them those are just the privates okay now those they you just put those ranks in those are just the privates that's the army those are regular people young people who have dreams who want to write who want to act and they just get plucked off here and there you know they just get robbed i mean there's 20 kids come take their fucking phone beat them up you know i mean they go back and they get a they start working at panera bread but more keep coming they overwhelm you with numbers that's the army of gentrification just young

white suburban cats you lose a few here and there one good shot in the head that's not going to stop the rest of them from fucking driving up the real estate prices and opening a candle store or opening a gluten-free muffin shop or the best fucking artisanal pizza you've ever tasted in your life that makes you want to hate italians because some fucking germanic came from wyoming is a scientist with the dough and he yeasted his own bathtub that's not going to stop those kids and then finally you have the officers of gentrification those are the gay guys you go is it safe is it safe is everyone settled yes yes an art store here a cafe here give me a restaurant here give me a nightclub here give me a sandwich shop with the french tiling on the floor and dirty mirrors why does every french restaurant have dirty mirrors like that's a that's part of the motif you ever notice that every french restaurant you go in the mirror

is like dirty clean it give me all french stuff duval's the new beer in this town and then we got a micro brewery one two three together gentrification yes The officers' cabins have moved in. General fucking unnoticed Lee is here. General fucking Grant is here. Am I wrong about gentrification? Those are the three phases. The lesbians going first, then the Marines. The white kids from the suburbs come in, that's the army.

They overwhelm with numbers. And then the captain comes on their horse, and those are the guys and they twirl it and it's done they put a bow on it now that neighborhood is fucking nice they're cleaning it with their armpit hair cuz i don't know what you mean dog this is russian rou roulette. Bring the fucking heat. I am trusting you people during comment roulette to come with something, at least entertain each other by trying to say something funny because I am fucking making you part of my episode. This is why you can't trust the people

and you all deserve to be in programs, okay? Bring heat. Don't fucking text stupid shit. Here we go. Giannis, how many millions you make on Patreon? Got to keep up with Timmy Dillon. You want to know how many millions I make? Zero millions.

I make zero millions on Patreon. I make zero millions. And the reason is because I'm a liar. Lying. Marketing is lying. No, you're from the advertising. How did you sleep at night? When you were doing,

when you were shooting a commercial, you were shellacking a fake Big Mac, just shellacking a fake Big Mac, a model of a Big Mac. The Big Mac don't look like that. The Big Mac in the commercial gets your dick hard. Then you go there, it's some sloppy, greasy sandwich with fucking jizz for mayo on it.

And like three pieces of fucking romaine lettuce that have horse flies on them. Sign up for Patreon and it'll make those millions. Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. What are you doing? Talk to the other long haulers who've joined. That's where I go really wild in the tub because that's what I want to do.

Okay? That's what I want to do. Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. My dates, we got Richmond, Virginia coming up. We got Tampa coming up. We got San Antonio coming up. And more dates are coming. I'll be coming to Connecticut soon. All these dates are being booked. It's the United States tour. United,

Yanni Tid, States tour. And the studio is done. We're going to be coming at you. A lot of people going, Yanni, I love you in conversation. You know, you shine in conversation. Look me straight in the fucking eye and tell me I don't shine on my own. Lie to me. I shine wherever I am because I'm the golden Greek. I'm the golden Greek that shit the gold nugget. That's me, baby.

So whether I'm alone or I'm sitting across from some other fucking mentally ill comedian, Yanni brings fucking unnoticed heat to your face. Okay? So I'm going to your face. Okay? So I'm going to do both. I'm going to do interviews and we got the set

and we got to do interviews because I paid a couple grand for that sign. So Yanni's going to be doing interviews, having people on, some of the funniest comedians and interesting people. John Stamos will be a guest eventually and I will be doing,

the solo is the cast but then there will be guest episodes on the new set that we just built. We just turned this into a fucking Yanni Longday's fucking studio. Imagine we have a TV studio in an apartment. I mean, my neighbors probably go, you know what? Here's the thing. He's really a quiet neighbor for six days out of the week. And then one day, I think he's possessed by the devil for about an hour. You know, at one point, there's going to be a knock on the door, and it's just going to be like Jehovah's Witness going like, can we talk to you about Jesus? We've been listening outside, and we would like to do an exorcism on you

because this podcast really sounds like I'm possessed by the devil. Like if you're not a fan of this podcast and you're just listening on the other side of that door, wherever it is, you're going, oh my God, there is a devil worshiper in there who is currently having a crisis. Either that or someone who is schizophrenic who is off his phenobarbital. Phenobarbital is actually a medication for seizures. What would be the medication for multiple personality disorder?

Which I'm not putting down, okay? They're heroes. Everyone's a hero. Everything's great. I need to know what kind of bubbles you use for squeaky clean. That is the type of heat I want to bring. Fart bubbles. I use my ass.

My ass is the motor for my bubbles. That is my bubble machine is my ass. My ass. Shout out to everyone who came and saw me and Sergio Chicone in New Jersey. Packed houses, celebrity theater, a lot of funds, all Long Days fans. I really appreciate it. Does John Stamos believe all women? See, that's the heat I want to hear. I don't know. I guarantee you whatever John Stamos believes, he will have a public opinion on and then a private one.

And you will never know the private one because we're Greeks and I'm not a rat. But that's the deal in Hollywood. That's why people I think in Hollywood go crazy because you can't be yourself. That's got to really weigh on you when you're like pretending to be somebody else. What's the point of living a few decades to pretend you're someone else to make money or to make people happy? Go fuck yourself. Do you think AOC will come out in the news claiming she's hiding from rockets in Israel? See, sometimes you got to yell at the crowd. Sometimes you got to yell at the crowd to bring the heat. Yes, I do think there's a chance that she will go in front of a green screen and go, oh my God. Yeah, I do think that that will happen.

And then she'll stand up and it'll be an Instagram live feed and she will pretend to know about foreign policy. It's very possible. Imagine bartending on the Upper West Side of New York City one year and then the next year you're just in like one of the most powerful meetings on foreign policy in the Middle East. I mean, how many more examples do you guys want me to give you that we are a banana republic? If you don't know what banana republic means, it means it's a store where you can get jeans. Banana republic means you're a third world country.

Banana republic came from like what, like the junta takes over, right? Like a military junta or something just, you know? You're a painter. You don't know shit. I need a piece of art for my wall go to jesse scaturo all one word check out his amazing art and uh buy some um if you want i don't know you do you sell your shit or what hey who cares sometimes depends if you give him

a sexual no see how i crossed the line we're all married see i make a joke and then i go no we're all married um we're done as a country what will explode first chrissy chaos or yanni's pimple now you're making it worth it now you're making it worth it brother now we got a party in here brother this fucking podcast has gone full tampa should we go back to 1973 and give israel missiles um i think they got a few i think they have a few israel's what you call strapped um yeah that was a good one that was a good one bring back frank rizzo uh frank rizzo is uh who's frank rizzo frank rizzo's from the jerky boys yeah those guys were fucking everyone was passing actually the jerky boys were really the progenitor the first to go viral you might say the jerky boys

were the only viral it was like the jerky boys was before south park a south parks won jesus santa fight that went viral that was like the first thing went viral on a was like the Jerky Boys was before South Park. South Park's one Jesus Santa fight, that went viral. That was like the first thing that went viral on a computer. But the first thing to go viral that friends were passing along to friends was the Jerky Boys tapes of their pranks. So shout out to the Jerky Boys, real New York dudes too. And it's so funny. You know, oh, you saw it's my glasses. I fell. fell remember that guy and i don't know what my glasses are and then uh yeah this is frank rizzo yeah you jerky so uh aoc and derrick should do a podcast called a right hook is coming that's what i like i like when we're bringing hate should the tokyo

olympics put israel on notice here's my opinion on that. Okay. Um, jerky boys, Queens legends, sizzle chest. That's right. They are legends. Um, thank you guys for watching long days. I hope you know that I deeply believe in this country and I'm a very, I'm a positive force for change. Um, and you know, you can always trust uncle honest, Giannis to give you the real deal. I should be your only news source at this point because I am the only one who is qualified. If you look at my Twitter profile, I am a scientist and I am a journalist and my gender is he, ha. Okay. Those are my pronouns. He, ha. So you got to trust me. Should Jesse and the Rippers get back together, put more pics of your wife up, you FF.

That's the risk you run when you look down in these fucking animals. Every time I post a nice fucking picture of my wife or mother-in-law, I got to turn off the fucking comments because the fucking pack of hyenas comes to tell me she's for Rome and she's a piece. I know it.

Could you have some class? Can you have some fucking class? Bust out that piece, cuz. No, I'm not, again, I'm not taking my dick out on air. We will get demonetized. So thank you for being a long hauler. Tell your friend, especially the people who've become producers of the show come on dog this is how it gets big look at timmy dylan look at schultz we can say whatever we want we can really make you laugh so the bonus episodes go up every wednesday on patreon.com slash yanni long days go support i love you guys so very much and make zero mistake about it, we will flourish. I'm trying to make myself believe it when I said it. As you know, Long Days with Yanni is leading the charge to support small business. These are

my small business shout outs. I want you guys to support these guys. Go take a look at their gram, buy their products, follow them, all that. We're starting out with my favorite Eastside Cheesecakes. They're all my favorite, but Eastside Cheesecake is the world's only real cheesecake. It really is. These guys make the cream cheese from scratch. Everything is from scratch. This is a husband and wife that lost their job during the pandemic and decided to pursue their dream, move to LA and start a cheesecake company that is actually blowing

up right now. I'm honored to have you. Go to their gram. They got thousands of followers and growing and I've tasted their cheesecake. It's absolutely delicious. And cheesecake, I'm a sucker for cheesecake. So guys go to the gram Eastside Cheesecakes and their website, eastsidecheesecakes.com make a request. They're going to start shipping nationally, especially if all you fans of long days start requesting. But right now, if you're in the Los Angeles area and you don't fucking order a cheesecake, you got fumes. We're also brought to you by my favorite Italian from Bay Ridge, Joseph DeMonte, one of my favorite restaurants. You will be seeing me and Jesse there this summer. Blue Agave, okay? Go to the Gram, follow them. Blue Agave, Bay Ridge,

go. It's amazing Mexican food, and the drinks are great. They got an outdoor space. It's a cute spot. You can also go drink there at night, have some quesadillas. Guys, we're brought to you by Max, Mr. Good Guy Long. Good Guys Refrigeration out there in Palm Springs and Seattle. Okay? He's a good guy. He'll fix your fridge. Anything's wrong with your fridge, I want you to go to goodguysrefrigeration.com and holla at your boy.

Tell him Yanni sent you. We're brought to you by exclusiveautoshipping.com. You got a car you want to move? Anywhere in the country, by the way, exclusiveautoshipping.com. Go holler at Jared. Tell him you're a Long Days fan. Move your car. The kid will move your wheels for you. Then we got Rob's Mental Playground. My they're all my favorite uh go to his YouTube Rob Rob's Mental Playground he's drawing a hyena for me right now in a bathtub I can't wait to put it in the studio he's a wild kid he's got a Raleigh Fingers mustache and he always sends videos to me of him in the bathtub listening to Squeaky Clean wiggling his. I fucking love this kid. He's got personality. He's positive

energy. Go to robsmentalplayground.com. Go buy a print from him, a t-shirt, whatever you need. The guy's an artist and his YouTube and his gram, Rob's Mental Playground. Check him out. And now to the Patreon names. Guys, we're continuing that tradition of reading the names off. Let's welcome our newest long haulers over at patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. We got John Somerford. John Somerford, welcome you wasp. Justin, one word. Yeah, I mean, Spaniard snuggled my ancestors non-consensually.

Welcome to you. The Greek Cyclops with Fumare lollipops. That's an old one. He's coming back. I think that was, he might've been a member before. Madam Osma, Jake Mortada, welcome. Sometimes I listen to In Excess with a belt around my neck. Welcome.

Welcome, cuz. Cuz, make no mistake, we're, cuz, make no mistake, we're aping into crypto shit coins hashtag dexable thanks for the shout out yanni there you go johnny k welcome tommy maduena welcome to the long haulers kamala toe harris kamala toe harris? Campbell Toe Harris. That is a 10. That's what you call top notch right there. Hall of Fame, Kamala Toe Harris. Sean Nell, welcome.

Andrea Roher, welcome. Tony Bananas, chicken finger. Tony Bananas, welcome. Matthew Corrales, welcome, cuz. Appreciate you. Welcome to the Long Haulers and the long haul squad. Then we got Cody Howell. White cis male, but if Yanni P put his piece in me,

I would feel too bad about it. Let me repeat that. White cis male, but if Yanni P put his piece in me, I wouldn't feel too bad about it. 10. Adam, Frank, Kevin, welcome guys. Wow. That's three in a row. Just guys, they were probably together and just like, yeah, let's fucking put our first names. Then we have very disturbed, but slightly chubbed. So is subbed. So I subbed. Very disturbed, but slightly chubbed. i subbed there you go thank you scott keith

alexander voight welcome uh tony basante tony basante how you doing guys elliot k's welcome leroy jenkins but make no mistake i voted red Trump 2024 welcome guy Andy Robson Kenny Ramos Brian uh Kaz Kazger Kazar welcome Brian uh Pericles Papadopoulos welcome Pericles uh round Jacob the Fuhrer's fumes trapped inside a tiny bottle. 10 out of 10. Alex Oingo Boingo Eastern Hemis make me go Pyoingo Murphy. Amazing. Kevin, Anthony going to turn ISIS into Waz Waz Hernandez. Let me repeat that.

Anthony going to turn is, is, is into was, was. Hernandez. So that's what you call a real 10 right there. And I didn't do it any justice for the read, but that's a good one. Because ISIS is spelt is, is. So he said, Anthony gonna turn is, is into was, was. Hernandez.

So the kid's on a personal jihad against ISIS. Then we got Phoebe Houli hoolahan mr negro i love okay you got me he spelt it knee and then grow uh pinky winky tinky stinky here for your brown water spout got jesse good the crumb bum is here. Welcome. Ross Atherton. Elizabeth Nath. Wostadolos. Spelled Wost, W-O-S. Welcome.

Ryan Pollack. Mortician Josh. Mortician Josh is funny. Eggamite Sandwich. Cody Daigle. Welcome. History Hyenas Breaking Up. Graceless with Yanni long days change my mind

you're correct maria ducati the space between yanni's eyes make no mistake because i'm a squeak his kid named himself the space between my eyes very funny ethan schwaber Schwaber, Schwaber, Ethan Schwaber, welcome. Logan Merchant, Carol, Eric, Dizampian, he's an Armenian kid, welcome. Dizampian, it's a hard name. Zelda, welcome. Griswold, Griswold, welcome. Tony Fennelly, thank you. Wesley Pipes, massive, massive glue gun, spelt massive. So Wesley Pipes, massive glue gun, thank you. Wesley Pipes, massive, massive glue gun.

Spelled massive. So Wesley Pipes, massive glue gun. Very funny. Mayweather's baby's mama. Welcome. Could be the champ. Michael Zaragoza. Thanks, brother.

It's just thanks, brother, from Derek. Appreciate that. Thanks, brother. Matt, Evo, Jusonis Aaron Burton and Eileen's new poets and scratch-offs Hogan welcome back and Eileen Hogan and uh Maddie the mule which is a chicken finger that I love there's some good hall of famers on that patreon.com slash Yanni long days for your bonus episodes and to get your name read like that keep it fun we'll see you next time