Yannis Pappas Hour - Not a Job For Girls
Episode Date: March 1, 2024A botched mega church event in Houston that’s proof women can't perform that specific job as well as men. Furthermore, Yannis exposes the domestic weapons industrial complex, and a woman celebrates ...her 110th birthday. Join our bonus channel for our berserk and uncensored weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator See Yanni do stand up live in your town: Ticket links for his live stand up dates in your city: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/shows Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw Check out Prize Picks here: https://www.prizepicks.com/podcast?&utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=PodcastAds&utm_campaign=100depositmatch&utm_content=YannisPappasHour&utm_term=YANNIS?invite_code=YANNIS
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Guys, I am in Stanford, Connecticut, March 1st and 2nd.
Denver, Colorado, March 14th and 16th.
Chicago has been moved.
It's unavoidable.
I apologize.
It'll be rescheduled.
So Denver, March 14th through the 16th.
Royal Theater Show added in Toronto, March 23rd.
Get those tickets.
Cleveland, Ohio at Hilarity's March 29th and 30th.
Tulsa at Bricktown Comedy Club, April 5th and 6th.
Kansas City, Missouri
The Comedy Club of Kansas City April 11th through the 13th
Netflix is a joke
Festival Los Angeles May 2nd
Raleigh, North Carolina
May 17th, 18th
And other dates also up there
Ticket links will be up there as well
Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasour
For our weekly bonus episodes
Join up.
What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of the Giannis Pappas Hour, where we spend 13 minutes preparing, doing research with the primary objective of entertaining you.
We will be wrong. We will be right. We will be maybe. The MAGA movement has grown. Now,
80% of Americans support a border wall. So Make America Great Again has grown,
just like people hope that the wall grows. There's a 110-year-old woman who's alive in
Rhode Island. Of course, it makes the news. And of course, you know what the main question is.
How did you do it?
Why do people always think that it's such an amazing thing to live to 110?
Maybe she lost a bet in a previous life.
Maybe she's suffering.
How great can life be at 107?
She did celebrate it at a pizza place, though.
So she's a woman after my own heart.
But you ever notice these old women, they're always like, I don't know.
I smoke.
I drink gin. You know, I still bang. I do everything wrong. So it's just genetics, folks.
It's one big potluck. We're all at the casino. We're farting in the wind. We're pissing in the wind. It's a roll of the dice. Either you got shitty genes, you got good genes. Either you
inherited a heart condition or you didn't. There's no way to cold plunge your way out of it. Bitcoin is soaring. We will talk about it. It's up $53,000.
So people are believing. And that will last only until people's belief in Bitcoin shifts to
Jesus, which is coming according to Joe Rogan. He says, we need Jesus. We will look into it. The Christian Ayatollah is coming, but not if a woman in Houston can say something about it. She tried to shoot up Jesus.
She tried to shoot up Joel Osteen's church with, look, I don't know what it is, but the AR-15
is the preferred gun of mass shootings. She went in there.
It's like a nine iron.
When you got to drive the ball, you grab the right club, right?
When you got to go long, you get the right club.
The AR-15 is the long drive of the mass shooter.
It's just, it's like Air Force Ones on white girls right now.
Just preferred.
The Army slashing jobs.
24,000, 74,000.
Bunch of thousands of jobs
are getting slashed, which is ironic
because recruitment's down. So they're all
switching to drone warfare and all that.
I have a plan.
I have a vision of what the future's gonna look like.
Stick around to hear it.
Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasau
for the best bonus episodes around every week.
And let's get into it.
Put your swim trunks on, take your clothes off, and get a tattoo.
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So I'd like to start with my favorite fruit cup.
Don Lennon.
Dom Lemon.
Which is a fruit.
Lemon is a fruit.
I like to call him Don Queerberry.
Made $24.5 million to settle his firing for CNN.
Isn't that great that you can be in such a high position job
that in order to let go, they give you?
Where is CNN coming up with that money?
Who's their parent company?
Do they just have a fund of like whoopsie money?
Or like when they get sued for reporting something wrong
or when they have to fire a gay black guy?
There's no way a sissy,
there's no way a sis
can,
I think sissy
should be reappropriated
by the straights.
I'm a sissy.
I'm a sis.
I'm a sissy guy.
I'm a sis.
I'm sis-ish.
That's going to be a new,
I think when the gen,
are we going back
to gen A after X?
What's going on after X?
Maybe we go full circle to Gen A
or maybe it's the last generation.
We'll find out in 2024
after the geriatric war
between our two preferred candidates.
The best we could find,
Mr. Falls Down and Mr. Fucking Sneaker Con.
We'll find out if we're still here.
That's I think what it is. I think they're hey you're gay you're black we don't want a problem uh you're also a drunk he likes to drink
i don't know if you remember seeing him um my wife loves to watch um what's the gay guy from
the e-channel that guy what's the fuck i'm so drunk i'm not talking about uh anderson cooper oh cohen
yeah anderson cooper's been gray like steve martin since he was 27 yeah yeah andy cohen
andy cohen she likes to watch that guy she likes to watch andy cohen and and um anderson cooper
bringing the new year because she's a girl and she's got no she's got a vagina so she wants to
watch two vaginas talk so she likes watching those guys and then one year dom lemon was on there and
he's like wasted town everyone was wasted um so i think just in order to fire a non-cis
um non-person of color you just got to have a fund.
You just go here, take 24 mil.
We'll make it up in Pfizer commercials.
So he got let go 24 mil, and supposedly he's going to X too,
where the truth reigns.
I think there's rumors of him going to X.
So, you know, X is, Elon Musk is trying to make X like an all-in-one. rumors of him going to X. So, you know, X is,
Elon Musk is trying to make X like an all-in-one.
It's never going to work.
That's what Facebook tried to do too,
where an all-in-one, they wanted you to call people.
One time on Instagram, they changed the,
with an update on Instagram,
and then your fans had your number.
And because you had to click off,
I was getting calls from people, right?
And I remember I was talking to Bobby Kelly. He's
like, yeah, I just like, I just got a call from a fan going, is this Giannis? I'm like, who's this?
I'm like, what the hell are you doing? What the hell are you doing Instagram? I don't want,
I don't want more ways to make a phone call. We got to simplify all this, but it's never going to
be, there's going to be like, oh, you go to X, you make your call, you watch your shows, you,
you go to X, you make your call, you watch your shows, you binge on your guilty follows of Nazis. And nobody's going to go just take a peek at what the latest Nazi's saying
on X while they're also writing their grandmother and taking a call from their papa. It's not going
to happen. You go to X for information, misinformation, and unruly discussion.
That's what you go for. And porn. And porn. But I mean, who's going for the, the porn,
those are just advertising. The porn stars on there, they're not stars anymore. The porn people
are on there and it's just go to my OnlyFans. So X is never going to become OnlyFans. Unless he
puts up a rival subscription.
Who knows? People have been saying Patreon
is going to be taken over by some. YouTube
tried to do it. Instagram
ordered a thing. People get used to a certain
thing. They just go to Patreon. Patreon.com
slash Giannis Papasour. We need
a thousand of you right now. I'm
calling you up like the U.S. military.
And just like when the U.S. military tried to get new recruits, it's not going to work. I'm calling you up like the U.S. military. And just like when the
U.S. military tried to get new recruits, it's not going to work. OK, because you people got bills
and you can only afford cereal for dinner, which is what the Kellogg CEO recommended.
Nobody has any advertising tact anymore. The advertisers have lost to the democratization.
The advertisers have lost to the democratization.
Everyone's a better advertiser now than the Kellogg's.
Kellogg's CEO, Gary Palink, or whatever wasp he is, CEO, you know.
Kellogg's, I think, is banned in Japan.
I mean, it kills you.
It's going to kill your kids.
Everything's killing everybody.
He said, you know his COO and his marketing department was like,
you're the CEO.
Shut your mouth, okay?
You're the guy who has a 300-time salary than the average worker in this company.
Shut your mouth.
Collect your unwarranted, unworked-for money because you were born into it
or whatever, and just shut your mouth.
Don't talk.
This is a PR gaffer. This is a PR gaffer.
It's a PR gaffer.
He said, look, guys, the economy is tough right now,
so what I recommend is you eat cereal for dinner.
As if people were going to go, look,
the people who were eating cereal for dinner were already eating cereal for dinner.
They didn't need to hear about it from an evil children's cereal
who makes Frosted Flakes.
Kellogg's data shows cereal is not only the number one choice for breakfast,
but 25% of cereal consumption is outside of breakfast time,
like dinner or snack.
Cereal for dinner is something that's probably more on trend now, and we would expect to
continue as consumers are under pressure.
So what he's basically saying is, you starving is good for me.
Keep needing cheap, dry grain.
He wants you to eat dry grain for dinner.
Adults, he wants you to sit down at the table
and spoon a bowl of meat, of milk, of meat,
as you wish, you can't afford meat.
So this is the contradiction of the economy
that we live in, right?
Things are going pretty good.
Inflation is still pretty high,
but also Bitcoin is soaring.
So it's like people have a lot of money
to invest in Bitcoin.
Me and Jesse spent 20 minutes
talking about Bitcoin before this episode.
Guess what?
We didn't make any progress.
Here's my rule of thumb,
and this is what I said.
If what you're saying to me
sounds like rocket science
and it's not rocket science,
I assume something's up. I assume something's up. The more someone talks,
then the more I assume something's up because things are pretty simple. But from what I
understand is Bitcoin is hoped to be, again, as I try to understand it for the 90th time on this podcast, Bitcoin is
an alternative to money.
It's internet money, but it costs real money.
And as it goes up in value, the value is based on how many people are interested in it being
the alternative money.
But then when they sell it, they're selling it for more real
money. And the reason why they're buying it is because they assume with inflation and all this,
there's going to be a collapse of the dollar. That's the ultimate end goal, right? So like,
if the dollar collapses or inflation gets too high, they can spend their Bitcoin, right? But
their Bitcoin's right now only worth something if it's worth something in that money that if it goes, they're glad Bitcoin's around.
But the Bitcoin only has value if the other money's around.
But the whole point of Bitcoin is that someday that money's not going to be around.
So I'm confused.
Because if the dollar collapses, I think we got bigger problems.
But then I guess it's an international country, international currency.
It's an international currency.
So that means if the dollar collapses
and doesn't become the reserve currency of the world,
that means one thing.
It's not going to be Bitcoin.
That means the yen has taken over.
But it doesn't look like the yen's taken over
because President Xi is turning that place
into a fucking communist regime
he's cracked out on all these companies right he's saying hey we're open for business but then
he's fucking ramsacking every american company saying you're all spies and they're saying hey
no we're just selling cheese drinks you're way over thinking this just yolo it dude just yolo
it baby just live that fucking yoloO life. Can you tell these?
This is when I'm YOLOing, I wear my glasses like this.
You know what?
Give me fucking 20 Bitcoins.
How much they cost now?
Talk about inflation.
You know what the irony is?
These things are fucking inflated through the roof.
I'm buying invisible air that shows up as a digital word,
and it costs me 60 grand for Bitcoin.
How much is one Bitcoin right now? How much does one Bitcoin cost me 60 grand for bitcoin how much is one bitcoin right now how much does
one bitcoin cost me 56 000 so 56 000 i can go buy a used tesla with long range and actually drive my
wife while she yells at me that's something i can fucking talk about yeah but look what it's going
to be worth in 2030 it's going to be worth a lot more in 2030 but if i sell it i'll get i'll get
money all right so just buy the s&p 500 that's
what jesse told me i'm dipping my fucking toes into the market i don't know buy what nancy pelosi
buys buy what nancy pelosi buys what did she just buy she she bought palo alto networks so whatever
that is buy it i don't know what it is i don't know where it is but just buy it right now there's
a whole movement that's that's grown and it's a wise one that they
just watch what nancy pelosi buys and just fucking buy it well she crushed it with nvidia oh yeah
well she sold that remember when there was pressure under like we talked about yeah she's sitting on
like a million plus dollars and then she's then she secretly quietly bought it all back because
she's she knows something um so just buy what nancy pelosi buys buy the s&p 500
um so you don't got to pay a money manager and you get your 10 if you're not making your 10
you're not beating the market every year then the money managers are taking your money i got
a money manager and he's got me invested like it's the 1950s. I actually went and looked at the companies.
God, I mean, I'm in everything.
I'm an Exxon.
I'm the owner of so many 1920s companies. He's got me in nothing tech except Microsoft,
which is something that offices and 60-year-olds use.
No, it's pretty good.
Microsoft's good.
What are they doing besides vaccines for Africa?
No, Microsoft?
I'm just saying Bill Gates likes to do things.
No, they got their hand in AI.
Okay, so buy Microsoft.
So he's got me in Microsoft.
Other than that, he's got me in, I am in Kellogg's.
He's got me in Kellogg's.
What else do we see on there?
Kellogg's, AT&T.
He's got me in AT&T.
He's got me in phone lines.
Some other dusty company.
Yeah, he's got me in phone lines. He's got me in phone lines. Some other dusty company. Yeah. He's got me in phone lines.
He's got me in DVD players. Answering machines. Yeah. He's got me in space ice cream, a space
ice cream company. He's got me in answering machines. He's got me in eight ball jackets.
He's got me in P Diddy's company. You know, he's got me a P. Diddy's company. That's right. You know? He's got me in Master P's line of gold teeth.
He's got you in Blackberry.
He's got me in Atari.
Yeah, Nokia.
Yeah, he's got me in Nokia.
He's got me in Reebok.
He's got me in Atonix.
He got me in Pro-Keds.
He's got me in Damon Dash's Rockefeller.
Everything from the past time.
He's got me in racism.
He's got me in segregation.
He's got me in Japanese internment camps.
He's got me in World War I Volvos.
He's got me in everything.
Yeah.
My portfolio would be great if it was 1929.
It's great.
He's got me in beepers.
He's got me in all the good stuff.
You're going to crush it.
I'm going to crush it on beepers.
He's got me in Nextel right now.
I'm looking good.
He's got me in Nokia.
Whole bunch of good stuff
that he's got me in.
So I'm excited
with my new VCR stocks.
So the world's changing.
That's the point.
The world's changing.
Just bet the S&P 500.
It's the safest way to bet.
The world's changing.
The Army is downsizing.
Macy's is closing.
You can say goodbye to the Macy's Day Parade.
Macy's is closing 150 stores.
Now, I knew that was coming
because every time I go to a mall,
I have to say it that way
because every time I do go to a mall,
I'm in Long Island.
And you go into Macy's, you walk in,
you walk right out.
They got the cheap Adidas, the cheap Nikes
in that little section that nobody wants.
There's no sneaker culture in there.
And then all of the, it's just chaps it's just chaps and and Levi's you just go in there for the Levi's I only go to
Macy's for Levi's I'm not interested in in like discount polo polo has lost its value it used to
be this ultra you know waspy expensive line that only Tim Dillon still wears.
And then it became just like everyone could afford polo.
And that's all there is in those stores.
They're going to focus on Bloomingdale's and I guess it's, and Blue Mercury.
Blue Mercury, I think is a store.
Is it a burger joint, something?
So, because the luxury stores have outperformed Macy's yeah because luxury people like to see the stuff that's the thing if you're
just buying if you need t-shirts just go to true classics all right not who we kidding how many
people are really in shape true classics made the american i wear true class i am outfitted in true
classics on stage I wear true classics
every day
they're made for the American body
why don't you just advertise it like that
the CEO in me messaged
he sent me a bunch of free stuff
that jacket that I got was pretty cool
the black one
yeah
just market it right
go hey
the American body ain't what it used to be
there's no more fitted shit
there's no more tailors
there's you need a little you There's no more tailors.
You need a little more room on the bottom.
You need a little tighter up here and a little room on the bottom.
And I don't know what he does.
There's some elastic here that pushes your tits in.
Oh, yeah?
I guess so.
Because I look pretty good in a true classy, and I got a dad bod.
Yeah.
I got an American body.
I'm not seeing any titties.
Yeah, I mean, you can't go to Italy and sell true classics. You can't go to france and i mean it's an american brand let's be honest
you know finland's getting fat europe they're fat i mean they're starting to get fat in certain
places just go to the places where people are just a little fat and just true classics they're
the best they're good quality i'm not even sponsored by him i told him he should sponsor
because i wear it all the time
yeah they sponsored like
one episode
a long time
yeah I mean it's like
just give me a deal
give me an overall deal
with True Classics
where I just get endless
their jeans are great
they're just
a superior product
they got a nice inseam
high tight
close to my balls
so you don't got that baggy thing
oh you like that
yeah
and I'm not even getting paid for this
I have no promo code
to promote to you
I love True Classics anyway yeah so you don't you're. So you don't, you're going to go to true
classics. You're not going to go to Macy's for your run of the mill clothes. And the only stores
that are going to survive are like the, it's going to be an Apple store, a pizza place,
a poke bowl spot. And then everyone else is working from home. We want to create jobs.
everyone else is working from home. We want to create jobs. Listen, let the libertarian model,
it's working in Argentina. Just let it rip, baby. Let it rip. Everyone works from home. And then you want to create jobs. Everyone gets a security force where you hire someone 24 hours a day.
You build these things in your house like you used to have during these castles where guys
are just holding AR-15s through these holes in your door every day. And you're shooting everything that moves.
So you hire security.
So everyone has security to fend off all these mentally ill people with guns.
You have to accept a new economy for what it is.
Shooting, OnlyFans, podcasts, luxury brands, and Bitcoin.
That's what it is.
Sneakers are still going strong.
Sneakers is big.
Shoes are down.
Nobody's getting shoes.
So don't invest in any shoe companies.
I'm sure my guy's got me in wingtips.
I'm sure he's got me in wingtips along with my Reeboks.
So, you know, sneakers, getting the sneaker business.
I'm here to give advice to young people.
Get in the sneaker business. I'm here to give advice to young people, getting a sneaker business. Okay. Um, probably not Foot Locker. Who knows how long they're
going to be around? How long are they going to be fucking outfitting homeless people?
I mean, you know, they don't got any sneaker culture there. So everyone's buying their
sneakers online. You know, your size, um, reused clothes sites. That's another one.
Go to school and have a dream
to work at
Poshmark's
corporate office
that's a
the thing is
people go to college
they don't have
the right dreams anymore
they're still going like
I want to change the world
it's like
the world's already changed
and that change
is Poshmark
get a job
at Poshmark
OnlyFans
tried to do
comedy specials I think Whitney shot her comedy special on OnlyFans tried to do comedy specials.
I think Whitney shot her comedy special on OnlyFans.
Again, it's not going to work.
It's not going to work.
Maybe it will.
I don't know.
But get a job.
You don't have to learn to code.
Just do marketing for Poshmark.
Everything needs to become an MLM.
I think there's some other big companies that are going MLM.
I think some celebrity's company just went MLM.
Multi-level marketing, like my wife does.
Everyone's employed.
I mean, you're losing money because you're buying more products than you're selling,
but you feel good.
You're part of a cult.
You're, you know, it's good for that company.
They got to hire more people.
Or I don't know, one CEO gets all the because there's a 30,000 bored housewives that are
selling their fucking products to each other I mean that's a good option too multi-level marketing
all right I'm gonna just continue to hire comedians and they'll have comedians under them
and then comedians and there's so many comedians there's so many talentless comedians there's a
whole bunch of good-looking women doing comedy now there's rich people doing comedy now there's so many talentless comedians. There's a whole bunch of good-looking women doing comedy now.
There's rich people doing comedy now.
There's so many unfunny, stable people doing comedy now.
And they're all looking for jobs on the content team of comics.
So I'm going to create a multi-level marketing Giannis Papasour team
where I hire comedians
and then the comedians are to them.
And then they just keep going
until we go all the way to the bottom of the barrel
and they'll all be making clips for each other.
And you know, you can,
if you sell people on the Giannis Papasour,
you get a little percentage.
I got to get a fucking egghead mathematician
in here to work it out.
But that's essentially what the economy is going to become.
Multi-level marketings, churches are coming back big,
MLMs, OnlyFans, podcasts, stand-up clips,
and S&P 500.
It's going to be the S&P 500 and private security.
It's going to be big.
And that's the company.
And also brain supplements
just buy in
go to college and say I want to work at Onnit
I want to take
these powdered mushroom pills
that are mostly placebo
we're going to do that
because the thing is it's all genetics
I mean it's all genetics
otherwise how do you explain that my father smoked
everyone's always looking for this magic bullet to health to stick around
here. My dad didn't want
to go when he was 90, but did he want to stay?
Did you really want to stay for your 90s?
My dad did, but it's an
idea. I mean, what does 96
really look like?
I mean, this woman in Rhode Island is 110
years old.
I bet you they'd ever write what they really
say when they find these
old people, right? She's in New Jersey. I thought she was in Rhode Island. Wherever the hell she is,
who cares? She's 110 years old. She celebrated her 110th birthday. I don't think when they report,
you know, these articles always come up where they find someone, they locate someone who's
over a hundred and they locate them for one purpose. Every article is like, what is your secret? And the person never
has a secret because there is no secret. And they never report what they really say. Cause what they
really say is take me now. I'm take me, take me now. I'm ready to go. And maybe it's just,
you know, maybe that's what keeps them around. Ironically, cause the world has a sense of humor. Nature has has a sense of humor maybe what keeps them around so much is that they want to go so
much because you can't have what you want and that's what we know and everyone who's trying
to stay here drops dead at 50 or 60 of a heart attack but these fucking miserable cunts live
till 150 i mean i think i think dick cheney's still alive with like a moose's heart. He's got like a pig's vessels in there.
He's a cyborg with machines.
Guy's had 40 heart attacks.
He got shot in the face.
Didn't he get shot in the face?
Oh, he shot someone in the face.
I mean, the guy's just like, oh.
No, he's out there hunting every weekend.
Yeah, you see, you know, his head's all drooped down.
I mean, the Rockefellers lived till 150.
All the miserable cunts lived forever.
And all the beautiful people are gonna go
and the people who wanna stay
are gonna go
so the key to life
is to wanna leave
the key to life
is to go
oh this place sucks
that's your mantra?
I think so
because if you think about
how the rules
are set in opposition
you know
like oh pizza tastes good
but it's bad for you
oh this girl's sex is great
but she's crazy.
The rules are always set in opposition.
You would think that probably that is also part of the simulation code,
is that the person who wants to leave the most but doesn't have the balls to do it
is going to be here until 140.
I bet you if I really talked to that woman, she would tell me about it.
She hates her daughters.
She hates, you know, I bet you she's like Paulie Walnuts,
his mom in the old folks home,
just like fighting everybody.
She takes her teeth out and annoys the other girls.
Like,
I bet you,
she's just not a get like a beautiful person.
You know,
I bet you she's a real troublemaker.
That was one of my favorite.
That was one of my favorite episodes of the sopranos is when he
threatens the guy he says your mom better start accepting my mom in the groups at the at the old
folks home and then he has his arm broken so the guy's got to go have a talk with his mom and say
and she's like i just don't like her he said i didn't live this long to be friends with people
i don't like and then the guy's wife's like we're're going to put you in the Salvation Army. Just be nice to Paulie Walnuts' mom.
See, I don't even remember that.
I got to watch it again.
The episode is so funny
because when the head of the nursing home,
he goes in to complain to the head of the nursing home,
like they're ostracizing my mom.
They won't talk to my mom.
She's upset.
She won't get out of bed.
She's depressed.
And then she goes, look, your mom's lacking social skills.
She takes her teeth out around the other girls,
and that makes them uncomfortable.
She does all this stuff, and Paulie has to accept it,
but he still strong-arms the guy.
He's like, your mom is going to start treating my mom better,
or else I'm going to break the other arm.
The best.
The best show.
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It's that easy. Um, so it is crazy that 80% almost as crazy as that 80% of the people in the country
are in favor of a wall. Who the hell saw that coming?
Who the hell saw that coming? Wow. 80% of people are now in favor of, can we just call it, if
Obama's got Obamacare, maybe we could call it Trump's wall. Because he's the one who said he's going to build a beautiful, big wall and just slap Trump on it.
And now 80%.
So if that's not a tip off of what's going to happen this election, 80% of people are in favor of a wall.
Who would have saw that coming?
Besides everyone who's been saying we should have a wall.
It just, the media made it sound so bad
when he was asking for a wall.
It just immediately, it made him sound so cold and callous.
And, you know, it's because of his delivery system.
Like if he would have went up there and said it,
like couched it in all this like compassionate rhetoric, maybe it would have been different.
But he goes up there and he's like, we got to keep these fucking lowlifes out.
And so then it's just this media backlash that, you know, paints him in this regard with this on this specific issue as such a callous person trying to put kids in cages or whatever it is.
But once, I'm telling you,
once those migrants started showing up
to those northern towns, things changed.
Things changed.
It was a brilliant tactic by Governor Hot Wheels.
It all started with Martha's Vineyard, right?
Martha's Vineyard, I think that was the opening ceremony.
That was classic.
That was the lighting the torch
of the migrants being bussed up.
You know?
Greyhound is just killing it right now.
Yeah, buy that stock.
Yeah, buy Greyhound.
As long as Biden's in office, buy Greyhound.
Yeah, it's one of those issues that's not going to poll.
I'm surprised they got 80% with their poll because it's one of those issues that's not going to poll. I'm surprised they got 80% with their poll because it's one of those issues. Um, like a lot of those issues that people don't
talk about to anyone. And that's why I think people were so surprised that Trump's victory,
because a lot of issues don't pull, nobody calls and goes, gets these dirty Mexicans out of my
town. Nobody's going to say that. Right? But unfortunately, a lot of people believe that.
They go, look, you had my vote
when it was all happening, not in my neighborhood.
Now that it's in my neighborhood,
but they're not going to admit that.
It's one of those issues that like,
you're not going to, it's not going to poll well.
Just like people having their doubts about the Ukraine.
Once it becomes like a cause, like, you know, a cause that you chatter about at dinner and people like these.
It's not going to poll well when people are like, look, this I support the Ukraine, but I don't know if this is going to work.
You know, I mean, you got you got Freddie French sticks, Macron saying that ground troops are not out of the question right now.
And you're like, what are you, crazy?
What are you, nuts?
I mean, the Ukraine supposedly has lost like 40,000 men.
And that's, I think, Zelensky's count.
So it's probably more than that.
So Germany and Poland say they're not sending troops to Ukraine
as the Kremlin war warms.
But France, France said they're not out of the question.
Yeah.
He says it cannot be ruled out.
It's like,
what are you nuts?
You know,
at this point,
I think it's a lolly.
I hate to say it.
I,
at this point you're going,
I think it might be a lolly and you just might want to go.
Here you go.
Little baby.
Here's your lolly.
Enjoy.
Now be quiet.
And then just cross your fingers and hope he stops there.
I mean, what are you going to do?
It doesn't seem like it's a winnable war.
I could have told you, if you listen to my podcast,
I don't know what was going to happen,
but there's one thing I can tell you,
and I've been warning you for tens of podcasts,
is that Russians like to die.
If you're going to go in a dying war with Russians, the Russians just throw bodies,
a war of attrition. They should make that a Russian war because in World War II, it was like millions died. They burnt down their own villages to just starve out the German intruders.
Russians are like, they look at death as like a lateral move. They're just a people who looks at
it as like a lateral move. So it's tough to win a war of attrition with the Russians.
There's a lot of them. There's so many of them of them and they got a dictator so he's just forcing
people in you know here we're like asking people politely we're going like do you want to join the
military and they're like what are you nuts i got a i got a freaking twitch page are you nuts
i'm not job you know i just got a job editing somebody's clips i'm not joining the goddamn
military but in russia you want to join the military
and then they laughed like i was just kidding it wasn't a question it was rhetorical
get up there get up there there's no you know you don't have any option so i don't know if you can
beat those people so it might be one of those issues where people are just doing that thing
we're going like don't tell anyone i told you but that sounds great don't tell anyone I told you, but that sounds great. Don't tell anyone I told you, but that sounds great.
Because it is a lot of money that's being sent over there.
So the American taxpayers are either getting a little fed up, I think,
on both sides of the aisle.
And 80% in favor of the wall.
So here we go.
Here we go.
We're coming up on election season trump's being sued for 450
plus million dollars in the new york courts he's appealing it um he's still got that hush money
case though that one's tough on him too but the the public relations war is just, I mean,
is one for his supporters base.
He's just Teflon.
Like he can't, anything could come up.
It's just like, what that means to me is people are sick
and tired of being gaslit.
They're sick and tired of being gaslit. They're sick and tired of the polite talk. They're sick and tired
of all the war on excellence that is degrading what made America, America. They're kind of
sick, whether they're admitted or not. You got your zealots who admit it. And then you got other people who are just kind of tired of it. So Trump is a bold, he boldly says things and there's nobody else who boldly
says things that has that charisma and that height. Height is important for some reason.
You just can't, I mean, DeSantis just looked like a little person up there, probably from a
conservative perspective, more, more effective effective you know has done get does things
i mean he's calling up national troop guards and throwing them at the border right now
he's giving incentive to cops to come be cops in florida because he wants to build uh
he wants to build a mussolini force he just does it you know but he was a shrimp. So Trump's got the height and he's bold. So I think people
just enjoy the boldness because it's been a culture of don't say that, don't say that, don't
say that, don't say that. So I think the lefties, again, I've said this many times, don't want to
admit it, but they've made him. He's their Frankenstein. He's the media and he's the left's Frankenstein.
He is the equal opposite reaction to their culture war.
And that's all it really is.
That's all it really is.
It's not, and that's why criticism of him
just doesn't sway his followers.
Because they're like, until you show me somebody else
who's going to say these things that a lot of us are thinking, we're going to take all the baggage that comes
with it. We'll take all the baggage that comes with it because we're desperate, desperate people.
They don't care about the baggage. They care about a wall. They care about, Hey, let's re-examine how
much money we're spending here and there. They care about, yeah, this is a woman in that submit.
They care about all this shit that he just comes out
and he says and takes a lot of flack for it.
And they just continue to make him a martyr.
They continue to make him a martyr
with this $454 million civil fraud judgment,
which we talked about, right?
It's what all real estate speculators do, right?
It's a deal.
The bank goes, he goes, I'm worth this.
And every real estate developer overvalues
and then they negotiate.
And then the bank decides what they're going to lend out.
So it's like an unspoken rule of real estate.
So it's tough because you could put, it's like an unspoken rule of real estate. So it's tough because you
could put every real estate developer in jail for this is a bank ends up agreeing to a sum.
So it's like, if it's fraud, it's like, you know, the bank agreed to it. That's like me,
you know, that's like me calling someone up and saying, I'm an amazing, I'm, I'm an amazing
comedian. I'm going to sell for 40,000 tickets at your spot. And they go, how can you tell me?
I go, I know Joe Rogan. I know Joe Rogan. I've been on Joe Rogan. I'm going to sell 40,000
tickets in your spot. Okay. That's my value. That's my value. Loosely, you know, loosely,
because they have to agree to it, right?
And so then they go, you know what?
We believe it.
We're going to give you a $300,000 guarantee.
And I go, and the turnout is like it was in Atlanta.
Who's, you know, they agreed to it.
They agreed.
The bank agreed.
And not only that, they got their money back, right?
So it's like, what is this? It's a tough one.
You know, it sort of makes him a murder, a murder.
So we'll see. Joe Biden went on Seth Meyers.
And, you know, people are giving him credit you know we're in a weird place when people give
him credit for not for having a pretty normal interview for three minutes yeah for three minutes
the headlines like he looked pretty normal he's great he made a couple jokes like that's the
standard now we're just hoping he doesn't fall he's got the same standard as my
special needs brother wow wow you didn't miss mess up any words and you didn't fall down yeah
you didn't shit your pants you didn't shit your pants up there you did a pretty good job
so he went up there and he you know he said uh about goes, you know, my guy's also around my same age,
and he doesn't remember who his own wife is.
And then he goes, he goes, I don't care about age.
I care about old ideas.
And old Trumpy Poo has old ideas.
And then he made a joke.
He said, Taylor Swift's endorsement.
He goes, that's classified.
That's classified, Sethi.
Classified.
That's classified, Sethi.
What does it feel like to be a comedian talking to a president nominee
when you know you're not going to interview the other one?
The network will never allow you to interview the other one.
I love Seth Meyers' show.
I tune in every night.
Who's tuning in
i mean when's the last time you heard his show mentioned before biden was on
is it i don't even know if you can get an honest answer on that the ratings
i mean who who is talking about seth meyer's late night program
i mean who knows Who is talking about Seth Meyers' late night program?
I mean, who knows?
Who knows?
Who am I to talk?
All I'm just saying is me and him are probably compadres.
You know?
And that would probably get the same ratings.
That's what I'm talking about.
There was a shooting in more American news.
It was a shooting
at Joel Osteen's church.
And the woman
had her kid with her
and an AR-15.
There she is. So how does this her and an AR-15. There she is.
So how does this chick get an AR-15?
She had mental health issues.
She was schizophrenic.
She was allowed to own guns.
How?
How is this chick allowed to own guns?
Again, listen, let me just be honest with you, dude.
I'm just going to be cold honest with my Second Amendment people,
my fellow gun owners.
I'm talking to my fellow gun owners right now.
If I worked for the weapons industrial complex,
this wouldn't be a tragedy for me.
Right? I this wouldn't be a tragedy for me right crazy people with guns from a financial standpoint is not a tragedy for me that's just a fact that you have to accept it's just not tragic from a
financial standpoint it's good for business and when I mean it's good for business how do I put
this there's nothing better there's nothing better. There's nothing better.
Guns soar.
The sale of guns soar after this news hits.
So financially, you know, it's these same people.
It's these same people who will talk about the pharmacological industrial complex, meaning like there's no incentive for people to get better there's no incentive to send up to therapy or yoga any of this shit
because they make money off the sick it's the same people um who yell about regulating the
pharmaceutical market uh pharmaceutical industry apologies um that don't see the obvious parallel
with gun manufacturers. They have no incentive for there to be less gun crime. The best thing
for gun sales is gun crime because what stops a bad guy with a gun? Negotiation? No. A happy meal to make sure they're not hangry and end on
poverty? No, not that. A more compassionate society? No, that's not what stops a bad guy
with a gun. There's only one thing. There's only one thing that stops a bad guy with a gun.
That's a good guy with a gun. And that's a good slogan for business.
It's a good slogan for business.
And I wouldn't suspect that they thought of that
if they weren't a business.
They're a business.
They don't hand those guns out.
You got to give them legal tender for them.
And they are responsible to their shareholders for growth.
They want to see growth.
It's the same as the pharmaceutical industry. They want to see growth every year. How do you get growth everywhere?
Everyone's on pills. Guess what? Right now, everyone's on pills, right? Guess what people
aren't doing? EMDR therapy. You got to be in California or, you know, play hacky sack to
know about that or all these other methods that are proven yoga all this shit
i'm so everyone's on pills coincidence i don't think so guess what else is going on everyone's
got guns coincidence i don't think so i don't think so i think marketing drives markets more
than demand sometimes drives markets and i think we want to believe that the capitalist
system is this perfect, invisible hand that just provides. And there's no manipulation. There's,
I mean, dude, who's felt better after a cheeseburger from McDonald's? But when you
look at the commercial, even I would, sometimes I look at the commercial and I go, you know what?
Fuck Le Cirque.
I want a cheeseburger from McDonald's.
They look so good.
You know?
If marketing wasn't so effective, I don't think they'd spend a gazillion dollars on it, right?
dollars on it, right? But people want to believe that they're these strong independent people with agency and they're beyond manipulation. And they just want to believe that they're these
self-reliant, industrious people who will never be the victims of untoward actors who are looking to pad their pockets. So look, it's a mental health issue and that's it.
It's as simple as that.
So when you bring that up to the righties too,
you go like, okay, so should we spend more tax dollars
on mental health stuff?
They go, well, I didn't say that.
I didn't say that.
I don't want to vote for that.
But what we should do is just keep yelling at each other i'm not looking for a solution i'm just
i'm like a robot i'm just gonna fucking arm up i'm gonna arm up for fucking armageddon
and it just keeps going it's one of these israel palestine things that just keeps going
and everyone's just yelling their side but nobody nobody's like looking at the heart of the issue.
And I just mentioned what the heart of the issue is.
It's not a violin, baby.
That's bitcoins.
I mean, who's going to watch this and tell me that I'm wrong?
I mean, I'm so fucking right it hurts my own ball sack.
I mean, I'm so fucking right. Oh, just ball sack. I mean, I'm so fucking right.
Oh, just read the comments.
Am I right?
I mean, MAGA.
No, read the comments.
Yeah, the comments, they'll be somewhat.
I mean, it's so obvious.
Well, look, you can't argue the fact that shootings are good for business.
You can look at the metrics.
So you can only hope that the people in the gun industry are just these absolutely great people,
so moral, and they don't care about the bottom line at all, which is a contradiction to business,
but that they don't notice and that they just go, you know what? This is a damn shame.
This is just a damn shame all the way around. We don't wish it. I know my salary increased
by half a million dollars this year
and I live in a gated community
and whatever and I'm fucking got guns
and everything, but God, it's just a
damn shame. And that's all I can say
about it.
If only we lived in that world,
it would be a great world.
But
it does break my brain because it was a woman. And I love when my brain
gets broken. Like I've said, it was a woman with a kid, a Hispanic woman. Usually it's a white guy
doing the mass shootings. When it comes to just popping them off, I think it's mostly white. And
then per capita, you got a lot of the blacks popping off.
You don't usually see ladies popping off.
So I like the inclusion aspect of this.
I like the diversity aspect of this.
I like the equality aspect of this.
Here's a woman with schizophrenia
rolling into a church with an AR-15.
Like I said, the nine iron of long drives.
You got to hit the ball deep and far.
No, you want your driver.
You want your driver. What am I calling it? A nine iron?
Yeah.
So I ruined the clip by being stupid. I ruined the clip by not knowing anything about golf.
But in long form, it'll still be great. But for a clip, I ruined it.
So let me do this for the clip. You watching clip, guys? Like I said,
it's the driver of mass shooting.
Let me try that again. So it's cleaner. Like I said, the AR-15 is the driver of mass shootings.
You got to get the appropriate tool for the job. Clip it. Thank you. Just take that little section there. Who cares about the long form? People don't get past 20 minutes anyway,
because they got no attention span because the CCP has manipulated them to only be watched
things in 40 seconds. and when people are dancing
or asking you what you do for a living.
And if you don't think the CCP fucking has done that,
then you got another thing coming.
That's another thing.
Like, who owns the company?
What's Z been doing?
He's been getting his hand
into every fucking company a little bit.
Again, much like the gun,
the brass, the top brass in the gun industry,
you just got to hope King Z doesn't notice the damage.
Oh, that's a shame.
He's just gone.
That's a shame.
That's a shame that Americans can't, are getting all their news in 45 second bites and their
brains are just sitting there watching fucking hot girls dance.
That's a shame.
That's just a shame.
That's not by design at all.
It's just a coincidental shame.
The problem with people at the top is often they're maniacal.
Often they don't give a shit.
And often they're very, very bright.
Very, very bright.
You'd be crazy.
It would be, you would be surprised to know how aware they are of everything
and how much of the damage that is done was known about beforehand.
That'll lead to that, but what can you do?
You'd be surprised.
You think these people are just like, Forrest Gump?
Oh, gee, shucks.
Man, I don't even know how this is happening.
But yeah, let's make sure we don't change any legislation.
But it was a schizophrenic woman with a gun.
Ah, that's a damn shame.
That's a damn shame.
But, you know, this is what we tell the people.
If they do that, if they say she can't get a gun, then where does it end?
None of us will have a gun.
You just go, that's right.
I'm an American.
That's right.
I'll deal with her.
I'll fucking be ready.
I've watched Diving Gun Guy a million times.
I'll fucking Mark Wahlberg it.
As it comes,
this is a perfect mass shooting for the gun industry
because it was foiled.
Now they're going to celebrate and say, told you, good guy with a gun.
And hey, you're right.
But let me point out, it was a woman.
So women want to know why they get paid less for a job?
It's because they don't do as good of a job as a guy.
A guy goes in there, he's getting somebody.
Woman goes in there, she only gets herself.
I told you they got smaller brains.
Can't do the job right.
If woman could do the job right
and I had a business
I'd be hiring all women
to save 25 cents on the dollar.
But they can't do the job right.
If they could do the job right
there'd be more female.
What's stopping female comedians?
It can't all be Bill Cosby.
Men are just better at comedy.
I'm doing this for entertainment value with a little kernel of truth.
No, I'm joking.
There's no kernel of truth. Well, when it comes to shooting, when it comes to shooting, it's one of those jobs like
building a foundation for an addition on your house.
If I looked out my kitchen window and I saw seven bolts laying cement i'd go wait a second maybe i hired the wrong contractor
is anyone going with a diverse construction group no i want to see little fucking mexican ants
with 10 times the strength of an ordinary man. Have you seen the natural man strength on these?
You'll see a guy who's much shorter than me
just carrying things I can't carry.
And no offense to bulls**t,
some of them are very strong,
but I don't think they can carry some of the s**t
that I've seen these guys carry.
Bang it, just crawl on the roof.
Same thing with a mass shooting.
If I go into a place i see a mass
shooter and it's a woman there's a part of me that's gonna go like there's a chance that i'll
get out of here you know the kickback gives them a little more you know their bodies are smaller
bone density all that bone density i love the bone bone density it's just you know they're just
it's like watching it's like watching a white girl with a pit bull.
She's got an AR-15.
You know?
On the flip side, because of that, maybe I'm going to prefer a man because at least he's going to go after the people he came to kill.
He's not going to, a woman's just going to, ah!
And, you know, but a guy's got a steady hand.
Right.
So there you go. I mean, she was, she came there with the intention of doing something. and you know, but a guy's got a steady hand. Right. Um,
so there you go.
I mean,
she was,
she came there with the intention to doing something.
She didn't,
uh,
she didn't do it.
So you draw the conclusion.
Was it cause she was a woman?
I mean,
I don't know.
It's like watching,
you know,
it's like, uh,
well,
turning into the WNBA is dunking contest.
She's not going to draw as much of a...
I mean, this didn't even make the front page
because she didn't do a good job.
I mean, she went in for a dunk
and it fucking went off the rim.
I mean, this is very dark humor,
but it's very good.
Da-da-da-da.
What can I tell you?
What can I tell you that I haven't already told you?
I've told you it all.
Shane Gillis hosted SNL.
Did you watch?
In the past.
I watched parts of it.
Yeah, I watched parts of it.
I just was, I watched to the end
just to see if him and Bowen Yang would hug.
And they did.
They did.
That's nice.
I want people to make a meme of that
and just go China, America. we can't get a divorce.
Like the ambassador to China from America said on 60 Minutes,
we cannot get a divorce.
Okay?
You know what our number one customer for our farming exports is?
China.
You know how many people that employs?
You know?
Millions and millions and millions.
We can't.
We just can't.
We got to figure this out.
We got to figure this out.
President Xi's really took a turn there
because he's got a communist heart.
He's got a communist heart, which is crazy because his father was like imprisoned by the communists. And then he was raised, he's totally
brainwashed. It's like Putin. Putin's got a communist heart. He just has a nationalist,
it's what's in his heart and the heart wants what the heart wants.
So you can tell me anything about Putin.
You can tell me anything you want.
NATO expansion, all this stuff.
The man has a USSR communist heart.
That's why he was so good at his job.
He believed, he loved in it.
And what's in a man's heart is what he wants.
Ask Woody Allen.
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high-end tactical backpacks, pouches,
and packs for everyday carry.
They're really good.
100% real deal tactical gear.
Rebels-Raiders.com.
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at Thinking Man or search the link thinkingman.substack.com. It's free or you can join
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